A zombie with a bear trap in its chest.

[smoke prism]

Hello playground.
This was an idear that I had for a monster that could ne use as a good jump scare for players, because who expectse a cropses chest to try and eat there leg.

(Inspiration: The thing)


Boney chest
Medium undead
HD: 5d12 (32 HP)
Speed 0 ft. (0 squares)
Initiative: -3
Armor Class: 10 (+3 natural,-3 dex), touch 7, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+7
Standard attack: claw+7 (1d4+7)
Full-Attack: claw+7 (1d4+7)
Space/Reach: 5 ft/5 ft
Special Attacks: chest trap
Special Qualities: undead traits,bolted to the floor,play dead
Saves: Fort, Ref 0 ,Will +4
Abilities Str 20 , Dex 4, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: any
Organization: solitary
Challenge Rating: 2 (???)
Treasure: none
Alignment: always neutral
Advancement: 6-10 (large), 11-15 (large)
Level Adjustment: -

Description
This insidious undead is use as a "living" trap by necromanca to stop and kill would be intrudes that wander in to there lair. The true danger this creature posies is that by looking at it, it is practically indistinguishable from a regular, wich are never out of place in a necromanca lair.

Combat

Chest trap (EX): This is the boney chests signature ability that allows it trap its opponents and rip them apart. The bear trap like mechanism in the creatures chest can only be sprung by standing on the chest of the boney chest. The person that stood on the boney chest must make a reflex save agents DC (???) or take 1d8+7. If the person that set this attack off takes damaged from this attack, it is unable to move due to the jaws of the trap clapping around there leg. On there turn the person caught in the chest trap may use a full round action to make a strength check agenst a DC (???)

Bolted to the floor (Ex): The Boney chest has been bolted to the floor by the person who created. This means that the Boney chest can not move its self and can not be physical be moved by another creature. This also gives it immune to being triped

Play dead (Ex): The bonney chest looks like a regular corpse, this makes it very difficult to distinguish the bonney chest from a regular corps. It is practical impossible to distinguish a Boney chest from a corpse by looking at it, someone has to go up to the bonney chest and physical tap the chest that they realise is not supported by a proper ribcage, and this will disconsert the person checking the corpse and it is likely to tip the character of that there is more to meet the eye about this corpse.

[Razanir]

Style, spelling and grammar changes bolded.

Hello playground.
This was an idea that I had for a monster that could be used as a good jump scare for players, because who expects a corpse's chest to try and eat their leg.

It's an... interesting idea. This seems like it'd be better as a trap

Boney chest
Medium undead
HD: 5d12 (32 HP)
Speed 0 ft. (0 squares)
Initiative: -3
Armor Class: 10 (+3 natural,-3 dex), touch 7, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+7
Standard attack: claw+7 (1d4+7)
Full-Attack: claw+7 (1d4+7)
Space/Reach: 5 ft/5 ft
Special Attacks: chest trap
Special Qualities: undead traits,bolted to the floor,play dead

I THINK it should be 1d4+5 for damage. Otherwise, it all looks correct. That said, Bolted to the Floor seems to contradict its reach. I think this idea would work much better as a trap– someone just has this bear trap in a corpse. I don't understand why it needs to be alive and able to attack, especially in adjacent squares.

Saves: Fort, Ref 0 ,Will +4

Should read: Fort +1, Ref -2, Will +4

Its base reflex is +1 and the dex penalty is -3. Also, it still has the base fortitude from its undead HD. Remember, undead can still need fortitude checks.

Abilities Str 20 , Dex 4, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: any
Organization: solitary

I would increase Dex. I'll explain why in review of its special attack

Challenge Rating: 2 (???)

Using Vorpal Tribble's estimator:
(HP) 32/4.5 = 7
(AC) 0
(SpAtk) 1
(SpQual) 6 (I think)
(Feats) 0
(Total) 14
(Divide by 3) 5?!
I call DM fiat to adjudicate it down to 3 or 4. Yeah, probably 3. Immobility seems like too big a weakness

Treasure: none
Alignment: always neutral
Advancement: 6-10 (large), 11-15 (large)

This shouldn't advance. Also, why not just write 6-15 (large)? I'm assuming either the first should be medium or second should be huge

Level Adjustment: -

Description
This insidious undead is use as a "living" trap by necromancers to stop and kill would be intruders that wander into their lair. The true danger this creature poses/posesses is that by looking at it, it is practically indistinguishable from a regular corpse, which are never out of place in a necromancer's lair.

Combat

Chest trap (EX): This is the boney chest's signature ability that allows it trap its opponents and rip them apart. The bear trap like mechanism in the creature's chest can only be sprung by standing on the chest of the boney chest. The person that stood on the boney chest must make a reflex save against DC (???) or take 1d8+7. If the person that set this attack off takes damage from this attack, they is unable to move due to the jaws of the trap clapping around their leg. On their turn, the person caught in the chest trap may use a full round action to make a strength check against a DC (???)

Reflex DC 9?! When in doubt, use 10+1/2 HD+(Pick a reasonable ability). Here I'd use Dex, which is kinda atrocious. I'd bump it up at least to 10. That way you could have DC 12 or 15, which wouldn't be unreasonable at this level.

Strength DC 15. Just have it take 10 on an opposed strength check.

Damage should be 1d8, maybe 1d8+5 if you need to add strength.

Also, what happens if you kill the monster?

Bolted to the floor (Ex): The Boney chest has been bolted to the floor by the person who created it. This means that the Boney chest can not move itself and can not be physically be moved by another creature. This also gives it immunity to being tripped

This is the main reason I question making this a creature. You said it can't move, so why does it have reach? And if it doesn't have reach and can only attack the person who steps on it, that sounds much more like a trap.

Play dead (Ex): The boney chest looks like a regular corpse, this makes it very difficult to distinguish the boney chest from a regular corps. It is practical impossible to distinguish a Boney chest from a corpse by looking at it, someone has to go up to the bonney chest and physically tap the chest that they realize is not supported by a proper ribcage, and this will disconcert the person checking the corpse and it is likely to tip the character off that there is more to meet the eye about this corpse.

You're making a creature for a game where people regularly break the laws of physics. At epic levels, people can even run on clouds without magic. I think someone'd be able to tell by looking. Maybe set a Search/Spot/Perception DC of 20-25. Also, this screams trap.

Final verdict: Again, interesting idea. I'd bump up its dexterity and use that for the reflex DC. Check some of your math. And finally, consider making this a trap instead. We don't see many homebrew traps itp, so it could be well-received.

[DracoDei]

The true danger this creature posies is that by looking at it, it is practically indistinguishable from a regular, wich are never out of place in a necromanca lair.

poses
(A regular WHAT? Zombie?)
which
necromancer's

[smoke prism]

poses
(A regular WHAT? Zombie?)
which
necromancer's

Ye sorry, I am awful at spelling. I will fix it.