Funniest Gaming Moments

[KazilDarkeye]

The name should be self-explanatory, so I'll start us off.

Basically a party of 3 (I will be refering to them by class) were adventuring in a dungeon when they heard something (a gnoll) coming, so the bard actually tried to use disguise self to disguise as a rock...
Then, after reading the spell discription she tried using the disguise skill to do this...and rolled a natural 20...so she had a grey cloak and the rest is history.

So...any others?

[Dire Penguin]

I don't know who had the idea to give the Elixer of Fire to the Wizard's badger familiar...All I know is that when he squeezed it, he toasted a couple of orcs with a jet of flame.

[ExHunterEmerald]

Our cleric hits the pants of our female paladin with a light spell.
He was Lawful Good.

[pestilenceawaits]

The 2nd ed thief in the party after being busted on something says "wait I'm and honorable thief"

[Joran]

We were playing d20 modern. Our party ended up in the sewer system and were attacked by two rather disgusting water elementals.

My friend asked the GM whether or not he had any packets of instant mashed potato in his pocket. The required roll was made, and lo and behold, he had a packet of instant mashed potatoes for some unknown reason. He tore it open and flung it onto one of the elementals for one damage. Fun times :)

[BlueWizard]

Too many... let's see....

[Dragor]

DM- "You see a messenger waiting outside, through the spyhole."

Paul= "Quickly, chuck the whore out of the window!"

And, t'was done: the whore was thoroughly splattered on the streets below.

Luckily, he wasn't a Paladin. That wouldn't have made him popular.

[RandomNPC]

i still like when the party cut open a dragon they shot down (one round full of crazyness) and upon finding only organs asked if there was anything special about them. so i say to them "the organs are slightly out of key"

i thought it was kinda funny when the wizard lept into a huge gorge thinking it was a river, despite the fact that i mentioned the cool draft coming from the gorge.

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

I was a PC in my favorite 1st level adventure, The Sunless Citidel and I was a battle-sorcerer. We had befriended the kobold leader and were sent on a quest to retriever her pet white dragon wyrmling. So we find it sitting in a room coated in ice and the baby dragon sleeping, we can't walk in without slipping so we lure it out by yelling at it and egging it on to attack us. Which was my job, I was standing in the middle of the hall and everyone was kind of hiding behind the door with thier swords ready so when it flew out they'd all get an AoA. We decided to make it all nonlethal so we could bring it back alive and unhurt and I kid you not when I say that every single hit against that dragon was a critical hit. At the time we had no idea how to deal with nonlethal critical hits so by the 4th critical hit on the poor thing the DM decides that it becomes so disoriented that it slams right into the wall next to me at full speed and knocks itself out. We couldn't stop laughing.

[krossbow]

*after escaping from the ancient city of the damned with the airship of the ancients*


Rogue: Okay! time to see what all these buttons do! *pushes button*

*ship fires death rays upon peaceful village down below, obliterating it in a torrent of flame*

Rogue: Okay, lets just put a "do not touch" sticky on that one...

[Neo]

Was with my Bard character who recently acquired a Necklace of Fireballs level V, which seeing as i'd identified it and not told anyone makes the following partially my own fault.

Anyway, later in the day we were exploring a local cliff-side series of tunnels and caves. Inside we found some Myconids and defeated them. During the celebrations on our great victory the dumb fighter decides to randomly whack my character with the lit torch.

Needless to say that round was undone after he'd learnt his lesson.

[NullAshton]

My character had obtained and entered a giant mechanical walker in D&D. My party knew about this, but it looked the same as all the other giant mechanical walkers we were up against. These dwarves were battling those giant mechanical beasts piloted by gnomes as well. When we met up with them, we almost had them convinced we weren't going to attack them and weren't with them... when my character tried giving a thumbs up sign to them. Well, turns out that I accidentally fired the weapon doing this, nearly killed one of the dwarves, and they ended up thinking we were spies for the enemy.

That also goes under one of my biggest bloopers in roleplaying, though bloopers tend to go hand in hand with funny stuff.

[knewsom]

When playing Kali the nearly-naked wild elf monk:

She was interrogating a gnome who had a hand in kidnapping her and selling her into slavery along with several other people (the party, duh). The little bastard wouldn't talk. She held him by the throat with a single hand over a massive cliff. "Talk". "I've told you everything I know!" She shakes him. "TALK!!" (intimidate roll of 22) "I told you I don't know any more! I'm just a peon..." The gnome is sobbing. (Sense motive roll of 4) DM: He's lying.

Kali shrugs, then lets him go. The DM's eyes lit up with surprised delight, never imagining that she'd actually do it. "really? cool... 'aaaaahhhhhhhhhh-' 'splut' "

[Meynolds]

Just last night I was DM for Druid_lord and 2 other friends.

One friend had the idea to fling dead bodies at enemies.
He threw a dead mercanary at another mercernary and rolled a natural 20.
Also I had a staples (?) easy button to push whenever a kill was made.
This is how it went:

Druid_lord (Ranger, talking to thrower): Dude, you just scored a critical hit with a dead body!
Friend (Barbarian/Blackguard, the thrower: Holy schnizzle!
Easy Button: That was easy.

Much laughter ensued.

[Shazzbaa]

I... I want an Easy button now.

[iceman]

Our party was exiting the inn that we slept in the night before. Seeing as how our party was making quite a nuisance of itself, an assassin was sent to kill one of us. Our entire party didn't catch the movement on the roof of the inn and the halfling assassin lined up for the shot. now our DM was trying some new things with our group in that campaign and one of them was a severity level of a botch. In the case of the assassin he triple botched. This is what the DM described as happening. we all heard a snap, followed by s***, thump thump thump, THUNK, and finally sploosh. The bow string snapped hit the halfling in the face causing him to swear and lose his footing. He then fell off the roof landing in barrel of water, knocking himself unconscious and therefore drowning a few rounds later. Our party of course was none the wiser merely shrugging at the disturbance and continuing on.

[KoDT69]

I played a Bard once in 2nd edition that was a daredevil, always trying to do whacky things for the flaovor of heroics. Imagine this, a 5' tall 80lb Elf with 32HP, ooooh scary. He was on the 2nd floor balcony of a large tavern and inn type establishment when some seemingly evil wizard strolls up to the front door with a clay golem at his side. The evil pair was just underneath the balcony's edge to where my bard was concealed. Genius strikes! I pulled out a 15 foot whip in my left hand, a +2 rapier in the right, snapped the railing Indiana Jones style, and charged off the balcony with a huge flip in an attempt to hit the limit of the whip and swing around not losing any momentum, like a huge swing. I tucked in the rapier like a lance and extended both (puny) legs to drop the clay golem on his face from the back. Everyone laughed but me when the golem took like 8 damage from my efforts, and I took 16 and broke both legs! Luckily a 10 STR score still allowed me to pull myself high enough to keep swinging the rapier! Hah!

[SMEE]

On a Star Wars D20 game last weekend (29/12):
Our party was composed of two Jedis, one bounty hunter and a scondrel (me).

After a little while, for reasons I better not mention here, the scondrel was arrested and thrown in prision.
He managed to break open and disguise himself as a city guard himself. A few hours late, after he was sent to arrest a criminal (and succeded), the two Jedi appeared with another criminal to be put in jail.
He approched them and whispered:
Psst... I wouldn't trust this prision nor those guards to keep your criminal

The jedi ignored him and kept going.
Once again, he approched them through the shadows and whispered:
Psst... I wouldn't trust this prision to keep your criminal. You know, I've broke open my cell a few hours ago, been hanging around here disguised as a cop and no one found out yet.

The Jedis: Who the hell are you?
Me (in loud voice): I'm your friend and your ship pilot. The scondrel you threw at the jail as soon as we landed in this planet.

The DM breaks out laughing. We had to hang up for a few minutes before we could resume the game.
Too bad my character didn't made it to the end of the game. He was killed shortly after by a Sith. :)

[Bryn]

I was DMing a Sunless Citadel game (although expanded to make the dungeon more exciting and dynamic). Earlier in the game, the party had obtained the wyrmling white dragon, named Calcryx, which was being kept in the cleric's bag. Since the kobolds had stabbed them in the back (not literally), the party had kept the dragon in the cleric's bag.

The party in question can be seen in my sig.

Anyway, the party were sitting around, waiting for a fire to burn down. They were looking for something to do in the meantime, and the cleric noted that the dragon was still in his bag. I mentioned that the dragon should probably wake up, since they hadn't been keeping it unconscious through nonlethal damage the whole time.

To this he replied "I beat the dragon in my spare time."

Well, it was funny at the time...

Earlier in the game, the party had been ambushed by monsters during the night. The wizard had spent quite a lot of time back in town getting a horse (his player, who was quite new, was convinced that this was a very good idea). When the ambush came, he immediately decided to leap on his horse.

He had no ranks in any of the relevant skills, and rolled badly.

We ruled that he jumped over his horse.

[Were-Sandwich]

Once, I was DMing for an elf PC, who was very proud of his pointy ears. One session, he walked into a blacksmiths, pissed off the smith mightily, and got a a hammer went soaring through the air, and buried itself in the ear just an inch away from his precious ears. This became a running gag. Whenever they walked into a tavern or bar, sometihng would always end up burying itself in the wall an inch away from his head. You had to be there.

[Jack_of_Spades]

"So, the golem is covered in oil? I cast burninghands on him!" Now they had to fight a flaming golem.

Also, a character once jumped off the roof of a castle so he could land on an opponent and deal falling damage to him. He missed.

[Varen_Tai]

I have no idea who originally posted this in a thread much like this one many moons ago, but I laughed so hard, I kept it for myself, and it bears repeating today.

The party sat down for breakfast at a tavern. Our Cleric whistled for breakfast and over trotted a cheerful clay golem, his midsection baked hard and steaming.

Golem: "Howdy, friends. What can I get you this morning?"
Monk: "Breakfast, please. Your finest."
Golem: "I'd be delighted! We have roast leg of lamb with roast potatoes and steaming hot coffee for your dining pleasure."
Cleric: "That sounds nice. I'll have that."

*The golem opens a hatch in its chest, revealing a golden brown leg of lamb, twisting on a rotisserie. Below it huffs a tiny fire elemental who looks at the party and says "Eh, it's a living."
The golem then carves of a chunk of lamb with a knife protruding from one of its wrists, and slaps it on a plate.*

Golem: "Would you like potatoes?"
Cleric: "Sure. That's very impressive."

*The golem's face takes on a look of extreme concentration as it holds the plate behind its lower back. All the party hears is -plachunk... plachunk...-
The creature cheerfully extends the plate.*

Cleric: *The player is simply holding his hand over his eyes at this point, suppressing guffaws.*

Golem: "Coffee, sir?"
Monk: "I don't think I want to know where that comes out of..."

The party erupts into laughter and we get nothing done for half an hour.

Welcome to my world.

[RandomNPC]

i duno who it was by either, but im stealing that golem.

[Lord_Kimboat]

I've got a fair few. One that sticks out was when my rogue was caught steeling from the parties benefactor by the group's new Ninja character. To misdirect, I exclaimed that "I wasn't going for the jewelry or silver but was trying to rescue this poor, oppressed bearskin." The Druid would be able to at least provide it with a decent funeral.

The Ninja called my character, "an insane freak," and insisted we leave. To prevent the Ninja from blabbing on me I told the rest of the party that he insulted me and that I refused to go on until he apologized to my character for calling me an insane freak."

After much pleading from the rest of the party to say sorry, he looked at my character solemnly and said, "yes indeed, I am sorry that you are an insane freak."

[Narmoth]

"So, the golem is covered in oil? I cast burninghands on him!" Now they had to fight a flaming golem.

Also, a character once jumped off the roof of a castle so he could land on an opponent and deal falling damage to him. He missed.

A character jumped from 2nd floor on the back of one of the attackers horses while they were mounting them to flee with a kidnapped victim. A abillitycheck later he was lying by the fence the horses was tethered to, hsving hit it instead of the horse.
Of course the player was enraged, an insisted that his character had jumped on the horse with the legs held together...

[KoDT69]

I have another one, well two

I DM'ed a game of 9th to 13th level characters in 2nd edition in which the illustrious (and substandard) 11th level thief had many bad habits, like trying to bluff the DM on what his skills were. The party was being chased by 3 vampires and decided that taking horses would ensure their expedient retreat. Fine in theory except they shielded the horse's eyes to prevent gaze attacks on the lower saving throw mounts, which made the ride check totally dependant on the rider. At a full bore 5X charge through the forrest the thief not only unskilled, but rolling a natural 1 on the check to boot, ran head on into a huge oak tree. It killed the horse and almost killed the thief as well! SPLAT! It was classic

I also had a group of 1st level characters complete a mission to stop a Duke's assassination by getting wasted drunk and hiring the Mariachi minstrel group to play music for them while they danced naked around the fountain in the courtyard. When the minstrels said NO to start they have another gig, the PC's offered 5X the fee to drop the other gig which they agreed to. The other gig was killing the Duke! It was so funny at the time to accidentally complete a mission through silly crap like that, but then again the whole group average age was 14

[SMEE]

During a one shot D&D adventure:

My character (a bard) as cursed by some strange sort of outher god of the dark planes and became a living skeleton, keeping all my abilities and spells.
As we progress further in campain, my character was getting more and more evil and started doing things only someone as devilish as her could do (hidding people's keys, making holes on their underwear, painting ones faces, cursing them and their mommies to never more be able to find socks that match, unkitting ones pants buttons, tieing ones shoelaces together and other stuff I don't dare to mention, given as evil they were!)
The story progress fine and we find ourselves against some sort of negative energy demigod on his very own plane.
The DM houseruled that everytime I cast an cure spell, one limb of my character would become dust. Given that, after the fight I was nothing but a talking skull.
As theatrics demands, his plane crumbled into debris and I was left buried beneath it.

The following scene took place:
DM: You two, the fighter and the Psion ride to the horizon, having a feeling you're forgeting something.
Fighter (to the Psion): Wait? Was there only two of us?
Psion: Hm... Indeed. Shouldn't there be an walking skeleton among us?
Fighter: Ditto! Where could that be?
Psion: I dunno. Maybe beneath those debris we left behind. Let us take a look there.

After they found me lying there, cursing everything in sight, this took place:

Fighter: Who are you?
Me: I'm a powerful demonic force! I'm the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I STRIDE through the gates of hell, carrying your head on a pike!
Psion: "Stride"?
Me: Fine! ROLL! ROLL through the gates of hell!

After a good laugh, they took me to the city, we got our reward, I was restored to my wholeness and the game ended. :)

[Varen_Tai]

*gasp!*

You are a lucky, lucky man. Many are the nerds who can find a way to quote Monty Python within the context of their games, but few they are who can quote Monkey Island's Murray the Demonic Talking Skull within the context of their game.

"Alas, poor Yorick-"
"Murray!"
"Alas, poor Murray!"

[Deus Mortus]

*gasp!*

You are a lucky, lucky man. Many are the nerds who can find a way to quote Monty Python within the context of their games, but few they are who can quote Monkey Island's Murray the Demonic Talking Skull within the context of their game.

"Alas, poor Yorick-"
"Murray!"
"Alas, poor Murray!"

I knew that sounded familiar :D

[Viscount Einstrauss]

A rogue in my game tricked a werebear into drinking alchemical fire thinking it was strong whiskey.

I'd have said it doesn't work that way, but that was a damn clever way of killing a werebear in hybrid form at level 2 while the rogue was alone.