Ideas to absurd to be considered spoilers

[PirateMonk]

My humblest apologies if this is a repeat thread. However, I did scan the first few pages without seeing anything, and I wasn't really sure what to search for. Anyway, as the name implies, I'm discouraging the use of spoilers here, on the grounds that anything that makes that much sense belongs in another thread. Also, please do not atempt to poke holes in anything placed here; with luck, they'll already have enough.
Without further ado, let's start it off with an example (before it get's disproven):

Belkar is actually a powerful spellcaster, with high Int and possibly wisdom, pretending (or is he?) to be a psychotic Choatic Evil ranger. He pieced together what Nale was up to early on, but saw some advantage in pretending to be charmed (complete with swirly eyes illusion).

Can anyone think of anything more ridiculous?

[Mayo_the_Thurmaturge]

Julia is a tran.

[danielf]

The creature in the dark is Tog twin.
Nale is Elan alter-ego, like fight club movie.

[Xanthos]

Nale is Elan alter-ego, like fight club movie.

That would ROCK!

[TroyXavier]

That would be interesting. Though it would be very confusing too

[Adghar]

All the characters in the comic are Naga equipped with Hats of Disguise - except for Roy, whose real name is Samuel L Jackson, and can't stand these mother****ing on this mother****ing material plane.

[Setra]

V is two people, a boy and a girl.

[The Orange Zergling]

Elan is actually the God of Intelligence in diguise, Roy is using a magic item to hide his true Strength (of 3), V is really a dwarf using an illusion spell, Belkar is an undercover Paladin working with Miko, and...

Hey, this is fun, maybe I'll think up some more later.

[Saurous]

Xykon wasn't actually a human before becoming a lich, he was actually an elf and was the one who conceived Vaarsuvius!

You can also replace certain words in there to change it to any character that doesn't have detailed descriptions of their fathers.

"Vaarsuvius, I am your father!"

[Blood]

This notion is the most absurd and horrific of them all; those with low constitution modifiers are recommended to refrain from allowing this abomination of our language breach the plane of sanity.

BEWARE!

Spoiler

Show

Rich Burlew and The Order of the Stick do not exist, and you are actually dreaming up all of this.

BEWARE!

[TinSoldier]

None of the main characters are real, but rather living their lives in a webcomic with thousands of fans. Roy will have to decide whether to take the red pill or the blue pill to see the truth.

Wait...

[Narthon the Bold]

Starting with todays comic, we will get a 100 comic epic staring Vaarsuvius's familiar.

[fire_hawk]

The MitD is... JULIA!

[Demented]

Celia is Roy's sister.
Belkar is Redcloak's long-lost nephew.
Vaarsuvius is actually a baleful polymorphed doily construct plotting to take over the world.


That last one doesn't seem too absurd, actually.

[The Extinguisher]

Durkon is actually the god of all things evil and is Redcloaks diety. He is with the Oots to gain access to the gates to control the Snarl and rid the world of all ilfe and impose a new order on the omniverse. He also goes by the name of Banjo.

The Monster in the Dark is Elan, who is also Leeky, V and Haley's Father and Mother to do a freak time travel accident that happened when he killed and resurected Roy as Xykon.

Haley is actually a man, which is why he rooms with V-Elan, so no one will figure it out, as V-Elan isn't the best at genders.

The Snarl is actually Fluffy, Destroyer of Worlds.

[Duffren]

Durkon is actually undead, he was killed during the fight with Xykon and secretly raised. He is playing the part of Living Durkon so he can brutally kill the OotS when they meet up with Xykon again.

Sabine is Celia's twin sister. That was a pretty wild night...

Belkar is really a Gnome trying to pass himself off as a Halfling, for obvious reasons. His furry feet are really left over props from the Lord of the Rings movies.

Nale is actually the stupid twin, his abuse of Elan's soft, undeveloped head actually knocked something loose that gave him unlimited knowledge. He also got LASER EYES! He is just too wise to use them because he knows what the consequences would be.

[SPoD]

When OOTS ends, Rich will start a sequel webcomic called, "Mr. Scruffy: Cat of Destiny".

[Alysar]

Roy is actually Rich who got sucked into his computer and he is secretly on a quest to escape the comic world.

[krossbow]

Elan is the Evil twin, Nale is the good one.



Realizing that tormenting Roy for eternity is the evilest possible thing he could ever do, Elan pretends to be stupid and horribly abuse Roy's patience and wits. Nale, being the good twin, is determined to stop him at all costs. In addition, this is why he (elan) constantly ruined those paladins who he worked for's plans in the origins books.
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Daihatsu compagno specifications

[Alysar]

Roy and Belkar are secretly lovers

[Demented]

The Monster in the Dark is Elan, who is also Leeky, V and Haley's Father and Mother to do a freak time travel accident that happened when he killed and resurected Roy as Xykon.

Okay... so the MITD is Elan... and Leeky... and V... and Haley's Father... and Haley's Mother... and killed Roy... and resurrected Roy as Xykon....

That is the mother, father, granduncle and nephew twice-removed of all time travel mess-ups ever.

[Guildorn Tanaleth]

Miko is God, and all things exist for Her pleasure. Once She has struck you down, you shall be recreated so that you may be struck down by Her again & again, ad infinitum.

The flumphs are actually the lawyers, who are trying to supplement their incomes with personal injury lawsuits.

The gods want to destroy the world, but the pure goodness of the Snarl stopped them before, so they locked it away while they continued their research into the best possible mode of omniversal extinction.

Is it too late to say that Haley's aphasia will lead to her unlocking latent psionic powers? It is? Well, that just makes it even more absurd.

[Wallyz]

Durkon is actually the god of all things evil and is Redcloaks diety. He is with the Oots to gain access to the gates to control the Snarl and rid the world of all ilfe and impose a new order on the omniverse. He also goes by the name of Banjo.

Please. Banjthulhu.

[The Extinguisher]

Did I forget to mention that Xykon is actually Miko's clone who she (Miko) is on a ruthless quest to destroy before it makes her (Original Miko) look Lawful Good, as she is actually a Chaotic Evil Halfling.

He goes by many names. Banjo, Banjthulhu, Dukron, Rich Burlew, Mr. Scruffy. His real name is only pronouncable if you rip out your tounge and tie it to your eyeballs.

[Alsadius]

The MITD is actually the Snarl. Turns out he was just trying to hug the Greek gods, and things got a bit out of hand.

[Dawnstrider_Moogle]

In comic 400, an evil army shows up at Azure City and destroys everything.

Not Xykon's evil army, oh no...it's an army of magitek soldiers led by Kefka. No, wait, even better...led by Kafka! The demon cockroaches were actually troops of his spying on Xykon and are going to allow him to take over the universe. And, because he is both Kefka and Kafka, his evil scheme actually succeeds, and he rewrites reality so that every character we've met so far (except Thog) is dead, the world uses Final Fantasy rules, and....the big one...

From 400 on, this is going to be an FF6 sprite comic.

Mwehehehehe.
...okay, despite my FFF (final fantasy fixation), that would suck. But it would be cool if they got another cameo though.

[krossbow]

In comic 400, an evil army shows up at Azure City and destroys everything.

Not Xykon's evil army, oh no...it's an army of magitek soldiers led by Kefka. No, wait, even better...led by Kafka! The demon cockroaches were actually troops of his spying on Xykon and are going to allow him to take over the universe. And, because he is both Kefka and Kafka, his evil scheme actually succeeds, and he rewrites reality so that every character we've met so far (except Thog) is dead, the world uses Final Fantasy rules, and....the big one...

From 400 on, this is going to be an FF6 sprite comic.

Mwehehehehe.
...okay, despite my FFF (final fantasy fixation), that would suck. But it would be cool if they got another cameo though.

How sickening! you sound like chapters from a self help booklet!
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SILVERSURFER VAPORIZER

[TinSoldier]

He goes by many names. Banjo, Banjthulhu, Dukron, Rich Burlew, Mr. Scruffy. His real name is only pronouncable if you rip out your tounge and tie it to your eyeballs.

The MITD is actually the Snarl. Turns out he was just trying to hug the Greek gods, and things got a bit out of hand.

These two actually made me laugh out loud. Not just lol, but LOL!

[Closet_Skeleton]

V is two people, a boy and a girl.

You know, that might just work...

By the way, there is a secret code in the shop signs in comic 122 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0122.html) that reveals than Banjthulu is in fact the Snarl. He was summoned when V cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion in comic 20 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0020.html), those tentacles are the true appearance of the Snarl when he isn't drawn in crayon. At that time some of his essence went inside Elan, causing him to try and hide his eyes. Thus the idea of Banjo the Clown was planted in his head. The Snarl wanted Banjo to join the Asgardian Pantheon so he could destroy it from within.

[Amon Star]

Diety is The Giant, who wants to destroy the OotS world so he doesn't have to write anymore comics!

All the characters in the comic are Naga equipped with Hats of Disguise - except for Roy, whose real name is Samuel L Jackson, and can't stand these mother****ing on this mother****ing material plane.

LOL!