Tarrasque: Unique monster or polymorphed housecat?

[krossbow]

I pose this question to you! is the tarrasque really a monster of legend, or just some wizards housecat that they turned into a giant being for kicks? the evidence is clear!


-- The tarrasque lives only to eat what is in it's path
-- the common housecat lives only to eat what is put in front of it

-- the tarrasque sleeps for the majority of it's lifespan
-- your common housecat sleeps for the majority of it's lifespan

-- the full attack of a tarrasque is 2 claw swipes and a bite
-- the full attack of a housecat is 2 claw swipes and a bite

-- the tarrasque is an unholy terror in melee when provoked
-- an angry housecat is an unholy terror in melee when provoked.



the similiarities are too numerous to dismiss!

[Indon]

Not to mention, cats have 9 lives, tarrasque has regeneration.

[Nerd-o-rama]

Huh. The resemblance is uncanny.

I always figured the Tarrasque was a Kobold who attempted to optimize himself into Pun-Pun, but screwed up somewhere and fell short of the mark. This is an intriguing alternate theory, however.

[Legoman]

We fought the Terrasque, a little while back.

Turns out, the DM's cat is pretty much to scale of the big T.

Hilarity ensued.

[Josh Inno]

Ah yes. I shared a related quote, and one of my fiends bowled over laughing.

[Indon]

We fought the Terrasque, a little while back.

Turns out, the DM's cat is pretty much to scale of the big T.

Hilarity ensued.

*plops cat on mat* all right, first figurine the cat swats at is the player the terrasque mauls.

*cat curls up and settles down for sleep*

er...

[Nahal]

Yeah, they'll do that.

Try bringing a laser pointer into it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-yMbZwaTA&eurl=

[Dark]

Yeah, they'll do that.

Try bringing a laser pointer into it

Unfortunately, that's patented.
US Patent #5,443,036, Method of exercising a cat.

A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.

What is claimed is:

1. A method of inducing aerobic exercise in an unrestrained cat comprising the steps of:

(a) directing an intense coherent beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus to produce a bright highly-focused pattern of light at the intersection of the beam and an opaque surface, said pattern being of visual interest to a cat; and

(b) selectively redirecting said beam out of the cat's immediate reach to induce said cat to run and chase said beam and pattern of light around an exercise area.

2. The method of claim 1 wherein said bright pattern of light is small in area relative to a paw of the cat.

3. The method of claim 1 wherein said beam remains invisible between said laser and said opaque surface until impinging on said opaque surface.

4. The method of claim 1 wherein step (b) includes sweeping said beam at an angular speed to cause said pattern to move along said opaque surface at a speed in the range of five to twenty-five feet per second.

The technical background of this patent even slanders cats: "Cats are not characteristically disposed toward voluntary aerobic exercise. It becomes the burden of the cat owner to create situations of sufficient interest to the feline to induce even short-lived and modest exertion for the health and well-being of the pet."

The good news is that this patent will expire sometime in 2013. Welcome to the wonderful world of intellectual property.

[krossbow]

So all a wizard needs to do to control the tarrasque... is to create a giant laser from space and move around rapidly towards towns they dislike.
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Vaporgenie Reviews

[Draz74]

That patent's not too hard to work around (or outdo). My roommate holds a newer patent: an automated machine (which he built out of Legos and duct tape) to wave the laser pointer around for you in order to exercise the cat.

[Arceliar]

Now that you mention it...the last time I had a party face the terrasque, they faired better than the last time they had to fight a cat. But the cat happened at level 3-4 ish and it was a Cat of Nine Lives (CR 9 or 10) from some obscure book I had around..

[mikeejimbo]

Funny, I've always advocated using a kitten as a miniature for a tarrasque...

[nivek1234]

Uhh... see siggie

[krossbow]

Truthfully, it even LOOKS something like a cat...
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VAPORGENIE

[Fax Celestis]

Truthfully, it even LOOKS something like a cat...

2.x Tarrasque looked more like an iguana.

[Behold_the_Void]

Now someone just needs to create a special "Tarnip" item to make it distracted and high.

[broderickdruce]

woah, if catnip is for cats and tarnip is for Tarrasque, whats parsnip for?

mildly more on-topic: haha, thats awesome. So when tarrasque sleeps does he sleep in a giant basket? We do know that he is easily distracted by shiny things, thats why you polish the fighters armor just before battle. What would happen if you got a rat and through some odd advancements and templates brought it up to huge size? could you use it to bypass the tarrasque?

[Kantolin]

What would happen if you got a rat and through some odd advancements and templates brought it up to huge size? could you use it to bypass the tarrasque?

Wha? The tarrasque would pounce on it, eat it, get a stomachache, and make ginormous messes everywhere. Ugh!

You need a giant dog. Of course, then the Tarrasque will start running and aiming for the largest trees it can find, causing some amount of devasation.

Of course, I'm willing to comfortably watch this devastation from my flying position way the heck out of reach if it means I get to watch the Tarrasque try to climb a tree. ^_^

[broderickdruce]

Haha, now i have a mental image of the Tarrasque trying to climb the tallest nearby object as though it were a tree, So what if that object just happens to be the wizards tower.

[krossbow]

Heh, you need an elven world tree like in WoW.

[ArmorArmadillo]

What's the Tarrasques INT? If it's under 20 it doesn't make a good housecat.

If it's over 20 and he can't speak than he is a perfect cat.

[Fireball.Man.Guy.]

It's three, I checked. My uncle does the one with the laser pointer on his cat. I've gotten the thing to literally do backflips with it.