craziest item created by your party

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

The title is pretty self explanitory. A guy in one of my groups in college added the pants slot and created the parachute pants of charisma (after the man who actually made them a fashion statement back in the 80's, Mr. M.C. Hammer).

[ilovefire]

The Flamethrowery Flamer of Firey Flamy Burning Doom, Death, Destruction, and Flames. AKA the FFoFFBDDDaF. AKA the 'pyromaniac's playtoy'. A little thing I may or may not introduce sometime to a group of my PCs (I'm not looking at you, This Land folk.) It allows the use of Burning Hands at will at CL 20, Scorching Ray 3/day at CL 20, and Fireball at CL 20. It's, in short... a flamethrower/missile launcher. I thought it was clever.

[fallensavior]

Ring of protection +15

[marjan]

Bag of Many Teas.

We intended to make it and open snackbar or something like that, but we never had the time. Basicaly the tea bag that never runs out of uses and can change flavor at command.

PS: This qualifies best as "The craziest item almost made by your party", but since that thread doesn't exist I just had to put it here.

[AmberVael]

Amulet of Liquification.

Instantly turns the wearer into liquid (of the non-animated variety). The wearer may activate/deactivate this as he wishes. Equipment becomes part of the liquid.

Our DM didn't see the potential this had (and therefore made it fairly easy to make)... until we made a squirtgun and began shooting the party fighter at people.

It was a very wacky campaign...

[CharPixie]

Gloves of Shoving. I kid ye not.

[BlueWizard]

Lingerie of Dex +2

Very NIIICE!

[Iden]

Mug of Alcohol at Will.

[JellyPooga]

Two items, used interchangably...

Cigars of Sweet Air

and

Cigars of Stinking Cloud

[Illiterate Scribe]

Not as funny as the others, but still -

The Black Hole Machine.

Basically gives the ability to cast sphere of ultimate destruction. At will. For those who don't know, it creates a small black hole doing 40d6 damage, and lasts for 20 rounds. The ability to deal 2800 damage to anything, all the time, for 1 standard action per round. The cost? A measly 360,000 gp.

[Rigeld2]

Meh.. not too out of line. It is epic after all.

[Bryn]

Portable Holes combined with Tenser's Floating Disc are always fun. For example...

After creating that, however, I decided to take the idea a little further.

Spoiler

Show

The Grand Portable Hole Mobile

It seems at first like a large square box, three feet across and two high. It hovers steadily three feet above the ground, although no sound can be heard to indicate its manner of movement. Long cracks in arcane yet regular patterns run along its length, with a number of small round holes in certain places from which puffs of smoke occasionally emerge. A strange blue glow emerges from the cracks, and attached to one side is a smooth metal quarter of a 3-foot radius circle with hinges at the top and side. A row of buttons run along one edge, with small brass plaques indicating their function. A small, 5-cm hemisphere stands at one point along its length.

Inside the device is a Tenser's Floating Disc, which is continuously cast by the item itself. This allows it to fly 3ft above the ground at a rate of 30ft/round.

The buttons and their functions are as follows:

1. This button makes a large section on one end of the cart swing down, revealing a leather seat and several foot pedals and buttons that mimic the functions of the following buttons. Specifically, button 2, button 3, button 4, and button 6 can be activated from the foot pedals. The individual sitting in the seat is considered to be the caster of the Tenser's Floating Disc spell inside it.
2. This button makes the semicircle swing upwards to create a flat disc, on which is glued a Portable Hole. When the disc is flat, the Portable Hole opens to reveal an extradimensional space, described below.
3. This button makes a fusillade of darts fire at the nearest enemy, with a sliding dial next to it to determine how many squares in front of the PHM the targets are.
4. This button, usable once a day, turns off the Tenser's Floating Disc inside the PHM, and immediately casts Levitate instead.
5. This button slides open a piece of metal to reveal a row of Masterwork tools, each in their respective slot. It also reveals a slightly depressed area designed for use as a workspace.
6. This button activates a Light spell on a small disc on each end of the PHM.
7. This button, situated above the sword slot, makes the covering slide away and a +1 Masterwork Greatsword emerge from the slot. The slot is closed again when then greatsword is pushed back in.

Inside the Portable Hole mounted on the side, a cramped space is revealed. This space contains a small mattress, several shelves of books which contain a variety of volumes, a large number of compartments containing less-used tools and materials as well as supplies of food. A command word activated water dispenser casts Create Water. A Bottle of Air provides fresh air for the occupants of the Hole. It is impossible to see outside from inside the Hole, however if the individual inside wants to come out then they can press a button to open the small hemisphere. This reveals a Continual Flame.
Cost:

• 500gp for Fusillade of Darts trap
• 900gp for Create Water dispenser
• 1000gp for use-activated Open/Close (which opens appropriate hatch or compartment depending on button)
• 1000gp for use-activated Light
• 2000gp for Continuous Tenser's Floating Disc
• 2400gp for 1/day Levitate.
• 7250gp for a Bottle of Air
• 20000gp for Portable Hole (granted free by Adam)
• Cost sans PH: 15050 gp (7525gp to make)
• Cost inc PH: 35050 gp (17525gp to make)

Cost does not include contents.

[JellyPooga]

I once tried to stat a 'Decanter of Endless Wine' for a worshiper of Alobal Lorfiril (Elven Demi-God of Hedonism)...given that it would have had to have been based off of a 5th level (I think...one of the creation ones) spell as opposed to a 0 lvl spell (Create Water), instead of costing the reasonable 9,000 (for endless water) it had some ridiculous cost in double figure thousands (around 40,000 if I remember correctly)...even though I decided to take out the 'Geyser' function....hey ho, he just ended up with a Handy Haversack entirely dedicated to Ale and Wine (I think he had a tun barrel of ale in the main pocket and the side pockets were full of bottles of wine (cheap in the left, expensive in the right)...and a tankard and a wine glass obviously). He never lacked a drink and making camp for the night always went a bit smoother with a drink or two down everyone...

I bet the wine from a Decanter of Endless Wine tastes 'orrible anyway...

[Rabiesbunny]

it's not much, but once the Gondian cleric in the party converted his wagon into a catapault. We were besieging the small Keep of the Knights of the North. My druid's animal companion, a rat, and the Dragon Disciple used their claws to scale the wall, and our skymage used her Nightmare -- the rest of us couldn't get past the iron gates.

The Gondian was firing his scrap metal in the catapault, and my druid cast Tortoise Shell (An FR spell that turns a small tortoise shell into a 5' tall one, weighing 10 lbs to you, 500 to everyone else.) They put the Tortoise shell in the catapult and broke down the gates! Now that we're in town, I'm lining that baby with metal spikes.

[NullAshton]

...there's a forgotten realms spell that creates a giant koopa shell? Sweet!

[InaVegt]

Rowboat of expeditious retreat at will, cast on the rowboat (a rowboat going faster than a longship is very nice)

[Artanis]

Portable Holes combined with Tenser's Floating Disc are always fun. For example...

That is AWESOME! It's especially good for Warmages, since Floating Disc is AFAIK the best utility spell they can get at earlier levels (barring PHB2).



As for me, I haven't been in enough campaigns to have anything really, really awesome come up. But a few of the better ones:

--In an Ebberron campaign that I joined, the party had originally had a Ninja as its primary damage dealer and a Paladin as its main healer...so the DM let the Artificer cook up a Wand of Magic Missile Or Cure Light Wounds, which could spend charges on either spell, but had a chance of casting the wrong one (i.e. blasting a wounded teammate instead of healing them).
--Later in that campaign, we made a Hobgoblin Trap that would make Wile E. Coyote weep with pride, including the cheesy blueprints!

[Rykaj]

I made goggles of ray of frost for a party member who was always obsessed with arresting evildoers. Command word: Freeze!

[Vaynor]

Making a weapon with a wand slot is very useful.

I believe I had a pyromancer with a spear of Fire, Fiery Burst, Spell Storing (storing a Fireball), and Thundering. It also had a 10th level Wand of Fireball in it, and a Wall of Fire one. Fully activated it was quite awesome.

EDIT: Here's another one I just remembered:

THE GUN
1) Obtain a Lesser Rod of Maximize/Extend/Enlarge/Empower, whichever you prefer (These rods must be hollow and made of adamantine (so it doesn't break, this is costly))
2) Fix a trigger and handle to the rod(s), allow trigger to access the hollow space of the rod.
3) Affix a rotating device inside of the rod with slots big enough for wands (lets say... 6 spots)
4) Buy wands. Suggested wands: Magic Missile, Acid Arrow, Web, Fireball, Lightning Bolt, Wall of Fire/Ice.
5) Place wands into rotating chamber (make button(s) on the outside of the chamber to rotate the wands. (free action)
6) Kill stuff.

P.S. The Metamagic rods are not necessary, but greatly improve the effectiveness of the weapon. Maybe use a separate rod for each wand? Separate ability for maximum effectiveness.

[The_Werebear]

A group I was DMing for had a necromancer who bought a carriage, cleared out the inside, turned it into a portable lab, then animated it. He also put bone spikes on the wheels, so it could run people over and slash them at the same time.

So, it was a necromancer riding a bone covered, horseless carriage covered in bones from all angles. And it was filled with undead and severed body parts.

The party wasn't welcomed in towns very often after that.

[EndgamerAzari]

The Bag o' Bees:

Grey ioun stones. 1 gold apiece. Buy many, paint them black and yellow, put them all in a bag. Open the bag in a crowed area, yell: "BEEEEES!"

[sigurd]

I think my favourite item, sadly I did not make it up.

Necklace of Tuesday. - inside the necklace it is always Tuesday.


Sigurd

[NullAshton]

I think one of the neatest items my group ever made was an animated wagon and carriage, so we wouldn't have to hassle with horses in a combat situation. Not to mention, the whole construct would be a valid target for wind walk, for quick travel without teleport.

[Amphimir Míriel]

This item was made by one of the players a few years past, she designed it for her underage elven wizard (she only about 90 years old), and her character wore it as a condition from her parents to allow her to go adventuring...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the

Panties of chastity
These confortable cotton panties cannot be removed (even by force) from the owner without speaking the command word.

Also, while these panties are worn, the insides are kept clean and fresh indefinitely, and the body does not need to generate waste byproducts.

If someone tries to pull them off, rip them or damage them in any way, the panties become bonded to the skin and gain a hard, metallic sheen. In this state, they have Hardness 20, 50hp and gain DR 15/adamantine for the purposes of protecting the user from a rape or "an unworthy suitor".

Strong Transmutation; CL 15; Stoneskin, Hygiene; unique item (no price)

[Penguinizer]

Well, for our RB pbp I was trying to stat out the "Electric" Lute. It involved ventriloquisming the sound of the lute to two gems with amplify cast on them. Might not work. I can say that the idea was shot down fast :P

Especially in the setting.

[That Lanky Bugger]

I think the most unique thing any PC ever created was a Decanter of Endless Lava. I forget exactly how much I charged him for it, but the number of uses he found for it were astonishing.

[LotharBot]

1) Decanter of endless sucking. Like a decanter of endless water, but in reverse.

2) Michael's Magnificent Shoes. Give a bonus to jumping and certain perform skills. "Like Mike, if I could be like Mike."

[Mewtarthio]

Amulet of Liquification.

Instantly turns the wearer into liquid (of the non-animated variety). The wearer may activate/deactivate this as he wishes. Equipment becomes part of the liquid.

But if they're inanimate liquid, how can they "wish" to deactivate it?

[martyboy74]

Magic.

post limit...

[Pocket lint]

I bet the wine from a Decanter of Endless Wine tastes 'orrible anyway...

But then, some questions automatically arise...

1) Does this mean that there's an Elemental Plane of Wine, and
2) How do I get there?