This worked a little too well...

[Jade_Tarem]

Situation: The mindflayers, as part of their continual looping quest to ensure that their past actually joins up with thier future, screw up. Fortunately, the PC's are not required to worry about the sanity rending paradoxes that this event caused. What we are required to worry about is the fact that this colossal continuity conundrum has caused the cessation of civilization by transporting the entire mesozoic period of our world to, well, the present. Dinosaurs are everywhere, and have thoroughly trashed every major and minor population center and have reduced the normal civilized races to travelling bands of very unhappy people trying to not get eaten (think "Battlestar Galactica" meets Jurassic Park). The current generation is the first one born under these conditions, so serious changes in language/customs/memories of society have not occured. Some obvious changes include:

The savage humanoid races have become more dominant.

Wizards now have some serious problems. Spellbooks, material components, and the like are hard to come by. Research of new spells is impossible in most cases. Arcane spellcasters of other types are hard to come by and much valued, and most have taken eschew materials to make life easier for themselves.

The world went all jungle-ish (at least the relevant part did). This adversely affects a variety of substances. I miss toilet paper.

Druids, Barbarians, and Rangers are the least affected by this turn of events. Only these groups have successfully tamed any dinosaurs.

Civilization has been reduced to travelling bands of varying sizes. In the preparation phase of the campaign where the other player and I met, I was the dominant power (as a level 5 sorcerer) in my group of 5, although not the leader, and the other PC was the youngest in a small (5 person) travelling conclave of druids of the sect that believes that this (the dinosaur thing) is an error that needs to be corrected, not the "darker" (to my character's thinking) sect that sees this as the opportunity to forever limit the growth of civilization.

So the campaign got started - my survival-oriented group met the world mending-oriented group of the other PC (a level 5 druid with a Dionychus companion) but were almost immediately attacked by fleshrakers. We fought them off ("we" being the druid and I) but half of my group was killed and all the others fled (by order of the head druid) into the abandoned ruins of a nearby town. After defeating the fleshrakers, my sorcerer is down to 5 dex, and the druid has no lesser restoration prepared.

As the adventure continued, we ("we" will now always refer to the druid and I) headed into the town to find no trace (or so the druid assures me) of the other druids or my group. Leaving to search a ways, we ran right into an encampment of goblins, oddly living in a sort of tree-town. A group of them jumped down to surround us. Both of us speak goblinoid, so after conversing with them (we asked nicely for passage/a restorative for my dex) they informed us that the time of the humans was past and that we were now their prey. It didn't help when I pointed out that that was how it had pretty much always been, except that the goblins lost more often. After they made clear thier intent to kill us, I tried one more trick before combat. I casted prestidigitation to make myself glow and started small rocks rising in the air. I asked "Are you *sure* that's a good idea?" and - glory be - rolled a natural 19 (plus my high charisma and decent bluff) to convince them that I'm too much for them to handle. I had hoped to frighten them into leaving us alone, but they immediately fell to their knees and began bowing down and, essentially, worshipping me. So now I'm stuck. I can't say "Your all-powerful deity needs a restoration spell." Leaving is also a bad idea.

Spells:
2: Glitterdust, Invisibility
1: Magic Missile, Shield, Feather Fall, Burning Hands
0: Prestidigitation, Detect Magic, Light, and 3 others I can't recall right now.

What do I do?

And seriously, if you read all of this, my thanks. It was above and beyond the call of duty, but I couldn't expect any good answers without people knowing everything.

[kamikasei]

If the problem is that your druid doesn't have restoration prepared, what's stopping you from stalling with the goblins long enough for him to rest and prepare it?

Just give the goblins some meaningless task to do in the meantime and get yourselves some privacy.

Have the druid rest and prepare restoration. Get your dex back. Cast invisibility on yourself and flee to a rendezvous spot, have the druid wild shape into something winged and fly away, and, well, surely the dinosaur should be able to escape under its own steam, too?

[Kantolin]

You know, as you're getting along with them, now actually seems like a decent enough time to start from the bottom and try to encourage a society to grow that's more in line with goodness.

That made... no sense, and I'm the one who wrote it. Huh. Maybe you can genuinely befriend the goblins? Help them out, solve a few troubles that you can. Make them good.

[ClericofPhwarrr]

Tell your new worshippers that you will forgive their previous error in threatening you, and as a reward for their newfound devotion will grant them powers to conquer and dominate the land. As part of the ritual of power-granting, each must be firmly bound to a pole, so that you can better channel the powers of the earth into them. Have them do the work of tying each other up, then glitterdust them. Tell them they will hear the screams of spirits as each goblin is filled with power. Then coup de grace them all for the xp. Then, steal their stuff. As a bonus, the druid's dinosaur can have a veritable feast on the bodies.

...That's really morbid, especially for me. So, alternatively, lead your newfound army a'conquering. Rest and let the druid heal you first, of course.

[Voleta]

Tell your new worshippers that you will forgive their previous error in threatening you, and as a reward for their newfound devotion will grant them powers to conquer and dominate the land. As part of the ritual of power-granting, each must be firmly bound to a pole, so that you can better channel the powers of the earth into them. Have them do the work of tying each other up, then glitterdust them. Tell them they will hear the screams of spirits as each goblin is filled with power. Then coup de grace them all for the xp. Then, steal their stuff. As a bonus, the druid's dinosaur can have a veritable feast on the bodies.

...That's really morbid, especially for me. So, alternatively, lead your newfound army a'conquering. Rest and let the druid heal you first, of course.

WOW. Can I have your babies? I swear I won't eat them.

On topic: I too suggest you keep them busy for a day or so. Ask them to prepare you some food and to stay in the nicest tree-hut (loler ewokz). Then in the morning the druid can help you out, and you can say that you are heading out to spread the word of advancement to the other goblin tribes, but that this particular group is your chosen ones, thats why you met them first.

[Foxer]

Just make nice to the goblins for a couple of days, then steal the stuff you need while invisible.

Don't know how to get away from your new-found goblin worshipers, though. Still, if you're now a god in their eyes, perhaps you can convince them you and your "prophet" and his pet dinosaur have some god business to attend to elsewhere, and that you'll be back in a couple of days.

[nows7]

Stick around for a few days, and keep the goblins busy. Send them out looking for the rest of your party - "The few enlightend humans" or something like that. I'd say that you could easily turn protecting the goblin tribe and neurturing them to good if you so choose to be a great campain hook.

[Imrix.]

From my point of view, playing along sems the best bet. You're a sorcerer! As you keep gaining experience, your powers, to them, WILL appear to be godly! If anybody asks why your powers seem to increase with time, tell them that as they continue to serve you faithfully, you trust them with the sight of greater and greater miracles.

So keep the tribe as a kind of "home base", where you can rest and recuperate. Sure, you have to maintain the facade of godliness, but you get to rule a tribe, and shape them as you wish. Maybe even re-start a place of permenant civilisation!

As for leaving... What? They expect their god to be present at all times? Such arrogant weakness, that in one stroke they expect to ask something of their deity, and wish to be babied by their lord at all times!

[clarkvalentine]

It sounds like that session rocked. I love that sort of unexpected turn of events.

Not only play along, play along long-term. Make it your mission to turn these little wretches into true allies.

[Jade_Tarem]

From my point of view, playing along sems the best bet. You're a sorcerer! As you keep gaining experience, your powers, to them, WILL appear to be godly! If anybody asks why your powers seem to increase with time, tell them that as they continue to serve you faithfully, you trust them with the sight of greater and greater miracles.

So keep the tribe as a kind of "home base", where you can rest and recuperate. Sure, you have to maintain the facade of godliness, but you get to rule a tribe, and shape them as you wish. Maybe even re-start a place of permenant civilisation!

As for leaving... What? They expect their god to be present at all times? Such arrogant weakness, that in one stroke they expect to ask something of their deity, and wish to be babied by their lord at all times!

I so want to do this. But Thrawn tried it in the Heir to the Empire trilogy by Timothy Zahn, and what did it get him? Sneak attacked. All I need is some punk (probably an evil druid) to come along and convince them that they're being duped, and now I have a whole villiage of angry goblins after me. Granted, by that time I probably have Fireball, but my body is still that of a soft squishy caster.

It sounds like that session rocked. I love that sort of unexpected turn of events.

Not only play along, play along long-term. Make it your mission to turn these little wretches into true allies.

Whooo.... sounds difficult. Those goblins are not going to want to hear about letting up on the humans. And yes, the session did rock.

Tell your new worshippers that you will forgive their previous error in threatening you, and as a reward for their newfound devotion will grant them powers to conquer and dominate the land. As part of the ritual of power-granting, each must be firmly bound to a pole, so that you can better channel the powers of the earth into them. Have them do the work of tying each other up, then glitterdust them. Tell them they will hear the screams of spirits as each goblin is filled with power. Then coup de grace them all for the xp. Then, steal their stuff. As a bonus, the druid's dinosaur can have a veritable feast on the bodies.

...That's really morbid, especially for me. So, alternatively, lead your newfound army a'conquering. Rest and let the druid heal you first, of course.

Chaotic good, man. Chaotic Good! I understand that alignment conforms to actions (rather than the other way around) but still...

And although it is practical, that's a long string of bluff checks. I'm good, but I'm not that good.

Thanks for all the advice. I'll proabably go with the stall plan, although I'm tempted to use them as a home base.

[tarbrush]

CG maybe but you're an adventurer man! Kill them all and take their stuff! It's the natural order of things and the gods will punish you if they don't :)

[Kantolin]

I need is some punk (probably an evil druid) to come along and convince them that they're being duped

That's why you actually help them out. Use dancing lights and prestidigitation to make their lives more amusing/pleasant, and/or to entertain their children. Help them organize further than they have already.

Just generally be helpful to them. That way, when the evil druid comes around and tells them that they've been duped, their immediate response will be, "Wha? But Jade Tarem helped us do X and Y. No I'm not going to kill him."

[Jade_Tarem]

That's a decent enough fix. Ironically, the druid can do more for them, that way, than I can.

[Kantolin]

It is too bad, however, that you don't have many spells that could help out. ^_^

Is one of your additional cantrips mending? There's potential there.

[Dervag]

Spells:
2: Glitterdust, Invisibility
1: Magic Missile, Shield, Feather Fall, Burning Hands
0: Prestidigitation, Detect Magic, Light, and 3 others I can't recall right now.

What do I do?

And seriously, if you read all of this, my thanks. It was above and beyond the call of duty, but I couldn't expect any good answers without people knowing everything.

Wow. Your campaign is a litany of "we're screwed."

My suggestion is to 'take the money and run' in time-honored charlatan tradition. If it is feasible for you to flee, do so. If not, then try to stick around for a few days doing nothing important or committal until your dexterity gets back to the point where you can flee.

[goat]

Torch the village.

You're chaotic-good, they're obviously stupid-evil from their introductory stance.

Use burning hands to set the trees on fire, jump from the tree town using featherfall to survive.

Flee.

Laugh.

[Krellen]

What's wrong with a bunch of goblins worshipping you? You've already established glowing and floating rocks as signs of godly power, and invisibility, burning hands and magic missile are all good backups, especially against goblins. You've got yourself a little cadre now; why do you need to get out? You're only laid up for a day; tomorrow the druid can put you back at full dexterity, and you won't be so at the mercy of the goblins.

Start by making their lives easier - you and the druid can do that. Then gather other people into a community; convince the goblins that the time of humans has, indeed, past, and it is now time to build a stronger, integrated society. Goblins that doubt you die - magic missile's good for that - so your godly word should convince them that there are benefits to be had from non-goblins living with them.

So why are you screwed, exactly?

[SITB]

In addition to all the others suggesting that you set yourself as a god, set you druid friend as a messiah. So while he casts all the beneficial spells to help the goblins you will be busy looking mighty and towering.

[kellandros]

"Well I say you are the messiah! I should know, I've followed quite a few!"

============
And IIRC, Thrawn wasn't theor original godly hero, Vader was. They practically worshiped Luke and Leia for just being related to him. Thrawn was tolerated originally because they were told he was to be their replacement. Thrawn = Evil Overlord, and was seen as taking advantage of them for too long and too viciously(using punitive air strikes, taking their best as disposible assasins, ...)

Goblin raptor-riders would make wonderful allies...

[NemoUtopia]

Step 1) Continue to befriend / help goblins.
Step 2) Take Leadership.
Step 3) Followers!


More seriously, play along and be actually helpful. Allow the druid to help as well, and either ensure that the goblins believe him to gain his powers from faith in you, or because you are both deities of the same pantheon

There are a lot of advantages to using them as a home-base if you're generally helpful/friendly...