Need help removing orc blood

[Rahdjan]

Ok, so the game I'm in I died and the only way back was for a druid to cast Reincarnate. Well the fun loving (I guess) human duskblade is now an Orc Duskblade. While it's nice to have the darkvision and extra strength, being an Orc is pretty inconvient. First off, the ranger in the group took Orc as his favored enemy. Also, we're heading off towards Dwarven lands and I just don't think they'll buy the whole reincarnate thing. Lastly, I'm eventually going to want to go home and take back my household. All this is going to be pretty tough as an Orc. Is there any way to be human again and keep my nice orc benifits?

[Arbitrarity]

Hat of disguise!

Or some sort of alter self, illusion, etc. You can't really be a race while actually being another without magic.

[Rahdjan]

I figured it'd come down to that, but I really wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

[goat]

Wish or Miracle would do it.

Oh wait, I missed the bit with strength benefits.

Errm, wish yourself into a Giant, then get a permanent reduce humanoid?

[The Glyphstone]

Get killed and Reincarnated again. Odds are against another Orc.

[Variable Arcana]

What's wrong with a hat of disguise?

Does the "household" you want to reclaim include a spouse (or several spice) who you'd rather not have to try to explain this to?

[Rahdjan]

the hat of disguise is all good and well until anyone wants to just "Check" to make sure you're who you say you are. We're going to be going into the dwarven lands soon and I'm supposed to be getting a ring of disguise as a reward and I think it'll help. But I'm concerned of what might happen if the disguise fails deep in the dwarven metropolis. Also, I'm sure I wont be an Orc forever, that +4 to strength is REALLY nice at the moment.

[Stormthorn]

Reminds me of time ((using an older edition of DnD)) when the rogue was killed and reincarnated as a wolf, and then polymorphed into a human. Now when ever someone has true seeing they get a wolf instead of human and are all like WTF?

[The Great Skenardo]

The best way to remove orc blood is cold water and a diluted bleach. It might take a bit, but you- Oh. Oooohhh!

Whoops.

[NEO|Phyte]

Errm, wish yourself into a Giant, then get a permanent reduce humanoid?

Emphasis mine. How do you intend to get a Giant (as in the creature type) to be a valid target for a Humanoid-only spell?

[Quietus]

The best way to remove orc blood is cold water and a diluted bleach. It might take a bit, but you- Oh. Oooohhh!

Whoops.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought this when reading the title.

[Ikkitosen]

I thought "stab it in an artery and wait for it to bleed out", he he.

[Khantalas]

I thought "stab it in an artery and wait for it to bleed out", he he.

Gah! It was my joke!

[soylentplaid]

Polycheese Any Object, turning from Orc to Human should give you a duration of Permenant. Dispelling would be a problem, but not one you would encounter regularly. Then it's all a matter of sealing the deal. Limited Wish or Wish/Miracle should do the trick.

[goat]

Emphasis mine. How do you intend to get a Giant (as in the creature type) to be a valid target for a Humanoid-only spell?

Oh, yeah. I forgot that. I think of them as humanoid, because they're... humanoid.

[Person_Man]

A scenario like this is probably how Half-Orcs exist. "Hi honey, I'm home from adventuring. Yeah, I know I have a weird tan. Don't worry about it. Listen, I've missed you. Let's just turn out the candles..."

The best part of being an Orc is access to the Headlong Rush feat from Races of Faerun - double damage on a charge, but provoke AoO from everyone who threatens you (just buy a reach weapon, and you'll be fine).

Stay an orc. Invest in Disguise.

[Saithis Bladewing]

I'd make a 'try a knife' joke, but that already worked.

Investing in a hat of disguise or lots of skill points does seem to be the best option.

[Fixer]

Disguise skill + long-term Change Self spell (perhaps a ring that makes you appear human).

The Disguise skill cannot be seen through using True Seeing. The Change Self spell prevents 'casual' observers from noticing. So guards and such will see the Change Self and not really care and clerics with True Seeing are not likely to have many ranks in Spot to see through the use of the Disguise skill.

[jjpickar]

You could find a piece of your old self like some hair or fingernails, make a clone of your old body from it and then use mind switch permanent or something like that.

[Krellen]

Oh, yeah. I forgot that. I think of them as humanoid, because they're... humanoid.

Functionally, they are. If you take a look through the MM, humanoids are always Medium or Small, and Giants are Large or larger. Otherwise, the two are functionally the same (Giants are Humanoids with Fortitude as their good save; the MM does say the Humanoid saves vary.)

For that matter, the Ogre is just a Large Half Orc with larger mental penalties (probably because his brain's the same size but has more body to control. )

[Bryn]

There are race rebuilding rules in the PHB2, but it suggests having to do a quest which could be a bit awkward.

[Jade_Tarem]

The SSG has ritual transformation thingies. You don't even have to sacrifice anything to go from orc to human. The str bonuses, though, you will not keep. Well, you could, but it would require a wish spell and failing a spellcraft check at precisely the right moment, and you're more likely to end up an orc without the bonus as a human with one if you try it.

Edit: Yes I thought about getting it out of clothes too, but I felt bad about it because it brought to mind that joke from an old episode of 7th Heaven.

Son (on phone): "Hi mom! Do you have any advice for getting blood out of clothing?
Mom: "Oh my god, what happened? Have you been hurt?"
Son (sarcastically): "Yes mom, and my first concern is my shirt."

[Mewtarthio]

You could find a piece of your old self like some hair or fingernails, make a clone of your old body from it and then use mind switch permanent or something like that.

True Mind Switch is only available to Psion (telepath)s, and it cost quite a bit of XP. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure that you can only make a Clone from a peice of your current body (or your most recent one, if you've died), so that's out. Even if you somehow got a perfect copy of your old body, TMSing yourself into it would be impossible unless either you're already a Psion (which the OP isn't) or you track down a (very) high-level Psion (telepath) who wants your body and is willing to manifest TMS twice to get it.

To get your old body back, you'll have to use Wish/Miracle/Reality Revision. Alternatively, you could nicely ask the DM to let you go on a quest to get restored.

[Druid]

The best way to remove orc blood is cold water and a diluted bleach. It might take a bit, but you- Oh. Oooohhh!

Whoops.

I was going to suggest prestidigitation spell to remove stains, but water may work.

[DeathQuaker]

Ok, so the game I'm in I died and the only way back was for a druid to cast Reincarnate. Well the fun loving (I guess) human duskblade is now an Orc Duskblade. While it's nice to have the darkvision and extra strength, being an Orc is pretty inconvient. First off, the ranger in the group took Orc as his favored enemy. Also, we're heading off towards Dwarven lands and I just don't think they'll buy the whole reincarnate thing. Lastly, I'm eventually going to want to go home and take back my household. All this is going to be pretty tough as an Orc. Is there any way to be human again and keep my nice orc benifits?

I'm going to provide some unpopular advice. No, I'm not being a smartass, and of course you don't have to take the advice.

Take it and run with it. The gods put your character into the body of an orc for a reason... maybe it was to comprehend the injustices of racial intolerance. Maybe you were being punished for your failure, dying unheroically. Roleplay out the angst. Deal with the issues you're facing in-character. You might find that it's actually fun.

I've had to play a game being the only human in a party that also consisted of a half-drow, lizardman, and lycanthropic werewolf. It was actually fun for me to find ways to talk people into accepting my friends (I was a bard so I got to lots of great social stuff)--and running when it didn't work! My friends weren't burdening me, and you are not burdening your party--or you shouldn't be, anyway. Especially since you're not like, "Awwwww, I wanna play a monster so's I can be uber cooooool." Something was thrown at you--take it and see what you can do with it.

Your Ranger friend--he knew you before you were reincarnated right? So why is his favored enemy a problem? Heck, if someone kidnaps you, he gets a +2 to follow the trail.

The dwarves.... that's just an opportunity for some fantastic roleplaying on the parts of both you and your friends. Find a way to convince them to prove your worth. Maybe you'll end up improving dwarf-orc relations.

If it's really bringing you down, of course there's all kinds of tricks with illusions and transmutations and so on.... but if it happened to me, I'd just accept it and try and see what I could do with it before trying to circumvent something that might actually be fun to roleplay.

[dorshe1]

If you have 100,000 gp lying around you could hire a 20th lvl wizard to help you. I'm sure he could come up with something to fix you. And you'd get their services for another 6 days! Get him to wipe the dwarfs out for you.

Seriously, I advocate just living with it. It will be fun!

[jjpickar]

You could model your character off of Driz...(sound of angry mob) no that's a bad idea. But you can play the unwilling member of a disliked race (sound of mob beating on the door) but he is not emo at all. In fact two weapon fighting is much maligned but (sound of door being broken down and an ax smashing the computer screen)

[goat]

Carry a bandoleer of orc heads across your chest. That should make the dwarves think you're on their side.

If not, set fire to their beards and stamp on their heads.

[Stormthorn]

I'm going to provide some unpopular advice. No, I'm not being a smartass, and of course you don't have to take the advice.

Take it and run with it. The gods put your character into the body of an orc for a reason... maybe it was to comprehend the injustices of racial intolerance. Maybe you were being punished for your failure, dying unheroically. Roleplay out the angst. Deal with the issues you're facing in-character. You might find that it's actually fun.

I've had to play a game being the only human in a party that also consisted of a half-drow, lizardman, and lycanthropic werewolf. It was actually fun for me to find ways to talk people into accepting my friends (I was a bard so I got to lots of great social stuff)--and running when it didn't work! My friends weren't burdening me, and you are not burdening your party--or you shouldn't be, anyway. Especially since you're not like, "Awwwww, I wanna play a monster so's I can be uber cooooool." Something was thrown at you--take it and see what you can do with it.

Your Ranger friend--he knew you before you were reincarnated right? So why is his favored enemy a problem? Heck, if someone kidnaps you, he gets a +2 to follow the trail.

The dwarves.... that's just an opportunity for some fantastic roleplaying on the parts of both you and your friends. Find a way to convince them to prove your worth. Maybe you'll end up improving dwarf-orc relations.

If it's really bringing you down, of course there's all kinds of tricks with illusions and transmutations and so on.... but if it happened to me, I'd just accept it and try and see what I could do with it before trying to circumvent something that might actually be fun to roleplay.

Yea for someone who f***s the bonuses and talks about RPing and adapting to adversity!

[Jade_Tarem]

Carry a bandoleer of orc heads across your chest. That should make the dwarves think you're on their side.

"By Moradin's beard! There's an orc in the distance with the heads of others on his bandoleer!"

"Must be some kind of warlord. I guess that rules out peaceful surrender on his part. Ready the crossbow snipers. And the heavy guns."