PC Genius

[Dervag]

In response to a post on the "PC Stupidity" thread, I am creating this thread as a place where you can brag about your characters' clever improvisations and resourceful plans.

[NecroPaladin]

See, there aren't nearly as many things to add here as to stupidity because idiots are more common than geniuses.

That said, I'm proud of a while back; my scout climbed up a wall in the middle of a big battle, and put (with his magic ring) silence and darkness both on the mountain path that the evil gnoll army was firing with bows down on party members from. When the party members 80 or so feet below began to move the fray with the gnoll melee types along the bottom of the path, the archers were forced to move through this dark, silent area. They were a bit confused, but not overly worried, as they tried to move along the path (they assumed our druid, below, had cast it to protect himself). This was because they didn't hear me bull rushing them off the ledge, one by one, while they were flat-footed and couldn't see what was going on. I got well over 50 kills without any of them hearing the silent screams/realizing what was happening. It was like an assembly line of destruction.

[Dervag]

See, there aren't nearly as many things to add here as to stupidity because idiots are more common than geniuses.

Yes, but each feat of genius is more likely to become a conversation piece.

This was because they didn't hear me bull rushing them off the ledge, one by one, while they were flat-footed and couldn't see what was going on. I got well over 50 kills without any of them hearing the silent screams/realizing what was happening. It was like an assembly line of destruction.

How did you know a gnoll was coming in the silenced dark?

[NecroPaladin]

I was waiting at the end of the line, before they could turn around. So I could see and hear them fine as they emerged.

[JaronK]

My Whispergnome spellthief took out 30 orcs by himself at level 5... by sneaking into their camp while they were all asleep, killing them off under cover of the Silence spell with a series of Coup De Gras (In D&D, no one can hear you scream!). The gaurds were harder, but I managed to get them by surprise too.

It was amusing, anyway.

JaronK

[Destro_Yersul]

*Ahem* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome, Necro. I, unfortunately, don't have any genius stories. My group does silly things a lot...

[Jade_Tarem]

At one point my PCs were locked into mortal combat with a party of werewolf adventurers - tournament style. The arena was a bit odd - they had thier choice of arena, and picked a setting from a different game of mine, which was a multistory affair that mimicked a modern hotel (with magic replacing technology.)

I expected them to go hunting through the rooms and halways. They didn't. Instead, they went for the kitchen and turned it into a massive deathtrap in the style of Home Alone while the other group searched for them. They had flaming oil traps, a falling (swinging!) chandalier (a big one), Tables with silverware stabbed through them as barricades, boiling water, and an exploding gas can. When the other party found them, the hunting group lost half thier effective strength before the PC's even had to fight them. As a final insult, the bard played the Phantom of the Opera "chandalier dropping" music when they dropped the chandalier on the other group's barbarian.

[brian c]

My favorite moment in D&D of doing something smart (not gonna say it's genius, but I was proud of myself) was in a one-shot campaign, so I didn't have time to get too attached to the character.

The DM premade characters (level 5 I think) and we all got to choose from them; I picked the Half-Orc Wizard (that week's theme was anti-stereotypical characters).

At the end of the dungeon, we ended up in a huge room with sloped floors. Once we were inside, the door closed behind us and barrels of oil (flammable mind you) rolled down towards us. Most of us managed to avoid being knocked down by the barrels, but enough of them broke to cover the floor and make balance checks necessary just to walk. Then the bottom of the room (the part that everything sloped towards) broke away into a pit of lava; then the archers started shooting at us from alcoves on the opposite wall: 6 archers, 2 in each alcove 20ft above the wall. The rest of the party died pretty brutally, but I was quick enough (and strong enough) to climb upto the alcove and bullrush the archers into the firy pit below (much easier than killing them directly, since they also had longswords). Since there was too much smoke to stay in that alcove, I buffed myself a little and then climbed over to the 2nd alcove and did the same thing. Finally at the third alcove the very last archer killed me on his AoO for my bullrush :( I died, but gloriously. And if for some reason I had been a Wizard with Improved Bullrush, I would have done a lot better.

[Were-Sandwich]

My party once had a plan (which we unfortunatley never got to put into action) to kill a whole river full of crocodiles (its like killing a basement full of rats, for higher level characters) using high-school chemistry. We had an alchemist in the party, so we had an Ic excuse. The plan was thus: Get a sphere of Cesium, and (using magic. duh) coat it in glass, using magic to stop it exploding. WE had more specifics at the time. We then drop this 3ft sphere of class-coated cesium to the bottom of the river, sorceror casts shatter on the glass coating. Every crocodile within a couple of hundred feat gets killed by the shockwave, the ones further away get severely injured and probably deafened. And the whole river gets turned alkali, dissolving the rest of them.

The one problem was that the water was supposed to be drinkable afterwards. This killed the plan. and most of the others, which involved poisoned meat.

[Edo]

I was a swordsage 3, facing my doppeltwin. There wasn't room enough for the two of us.

This was a perfect doppeltwin: the stats were identical. Which meant that we really didn't have any way to hurt each other barring dumb luck.

My challenge? A one-round match of Roshambo. Whoever was more badly injured at the end of that was the winner.

I hit first. He hit second. I countered with Fire Riposte.

[Were-Sandwich]

poetic.

10 charactersz

[Susan]

Here's one from a group back in my college days (ah, four months ago, good times...).

The Level 5 party I was in was lying in wait for a patrol of some pretty beefy orcs scouting the area on horseback. The Ranger and Rogue were hidden in a treeline waiting to snipe, the Barbarian was standing on the road dressed in beggars rags, and the wizard and cleric were 40ft up on a ledge hanging directly over the road waiting to provide spellcasting support while staying out of harms way. We spotted the patrol about 500 yards out; 4 huge and well-armored orcs riding powerful warhorses. Any one of these orcs could go toe-to-toe with our Barbarian, might even come out on top. Everyone was holding actions to attack (Rogue and Ranger with bows, Wizard with a fireball, Cleric with a Summon Monster). We were not feeling confident. This is (more or less) the conversation that followed:

----------------------------------------

DM: The four scouts trot up to the Barbarian and tell him angrily to turn around.

B: I don't move, gripping my axe a bit tighter, try to give the snipers a clear shot.

W: Where did they stop?

DM: [Puts four horse figures on the map grid next to the cliff, about 20 feet away from the Barbarian.]

W: Alright, I'll cast my readied fireball in the center-

C: Wait! I grab his shoulder, tell him to hold.

Group and DM:

C: I summon a Celestial Bison.

DM: You aren't waiting for the snipers and the fireball?

C: No, I'm summoning it now.

DM: *shrug* OK, place it on the map.

C: [Places Bison on map, on edge of cliff next to him and straight up from the scouts.]

Group + DM:

C: Is it the surprise round?

DM: Yep. You casting another spell?

C: Nope. *shoves Bison off cliff*

Group + DM: ...



Rogue: ...How much does a bison weigh?

Ranger: Uh... 2000 to 3000lbs. From 40 feet up.

Group + DM: ...



DM: ...That's like... 100d6 damage.

Group: ...



...



--------------------------------------

In the end, the DM ruled that the Celestial Bison only landed on two of the scouts, but those two scouts (and their horses) were turned instantly into smooth dog food. It was a good encounter .

[Bagera]

My group was playing in a large battle and it was like the 5th encounter that day and we were all beat up and didn't want to fight too much, so I just manifested astral constructs that grappeled with them and dragged them underground with their burrowing ability.

[ExHunterEmerald]

Three ECL 5 characters taking down an eighteenth-level fighter comes to mind...

[Dervag]

My party once had a plan (which we unfortunatley never got to put into action) to kill a whole river full of crocodiles (its like killing a basement full of rats, for higher level characters) using high-school chemistry. We had an alchemist in the party, so we had an Ic excuse. The plan was thus: Get a sphere of Cesium, and (using magic. duh) coat it in glass, using magic to stop it exploding. WE had more specifics at the time. We then drop this 3ft sphere of class-coated cesium to the bottom of the river, sorceror casts shatter on the glass coating. Every crocodile within a couple of hundred feat gets killed by the shockwave, the ones further away get severely injured and probably deafened. And the whole river gets turned alkali, dissolving the rest of them.

I'm not sure whether that plan would actually work, from a chemistry standpoint. Cesium doesn't explode like dynamite on contact with water; it just burns very violently. Sodium does too, for that matter.

So you wouldn't get a big shockwave to create a 'depth charge' effect. Moreover, the result of the reaction wouldn't produce water alkaline enough to dissolve the rest of the crocodiles, though it might make the water nasty enough that they'd flee much as you'd flee a room full of tear gas.

In the end, the DM ruled that the Celestial Bison only landed on two of the scouts, but those two scouts (and their horses) were turned instantly into smooth dog food. It was a good encounter .

And of course, the party simply had to put up a DANGER! Falling buffalo! sign to commemorate their victory.

Three ECL 5 characters taking down an eighteenth-level fighter comes to mind...

How?

[Were-Sandwich]

I'm not sure whether that plan would actually work, from a chemistry standpoint. Cesium doesn't explode like dynamite on contact with water; it just burns very violently. Sodium does too, for that matter.

But did the DM know that?

[JackMage666]

I'm not going to call it genius, but I think I came up with a pretty good plan for a 1-shot we had the other day.

There were only two player, ECL 15 - A Human Rogue, and a Silverbrow Human Sorcerer (Me, with about 10 Draconic feats backing me up, but that's not the point).

We were sent to an island to figure out where so many of their citizen had been disappearing to, and the island doubled as a lawless, pirate base.

My character suspected it'd be someone higher up in the food chain causing the damages, so the first thing I did when I arrived in town was demand that anyone with any superiority in the town would be required to bath in Holy Water and Charcoal, siting that it was most likely Demons causing the problems, and the Holy Water would destroy them. The charcoal, of course, was to dye the skin so that we would know who was in charge. Of course, they feared death, so they complied.

Over the next few nights, I used my Heartstone (and my high UMD skill) to go ethereal and keep watch over the town, unseen by eyes. I managed to follow a woman and learned she was a Sea-Wolf (basically, a Wolf/Shark lycanthrope) who was behind the events. However, this was after a few days of the baths, and the locals were starting to question me.

So, rather than reveal a highly respected member of the group with no proof, and rather than try to kill her and her people single handedly, I decided a different tactic.

The next day, I declared my mistake - It was not demons causing the problems, but instead a Corrupted Guardinal, who turned to evil and now must delight in the slaughter of innocence... The kicker was, instead of the holy water and charcoal bath, I decided they needed a Unholy Water and Rose Petal bath, and they were forced to comply.

That night, I caught a Sahaguin, and Baleful Polymorphed it into a puppy. When the sun came up, I handed the puppy to the leader of the town, and triumphantly explained that I had instead Baleful Polymorphed the Guardinal, and that they were free from the tyrant.

The Sea-Wolf obviously thought I had no idea, and believed me to be a crazy man who was only seeking the fame and glory. The locals believed the story, as I had high bluff checks. The Sea-Wolf had her attacked planned for the following night.

Now, the trick was making her think we had left. The rogue disguised herself as me, and I as her. The reason for this was simple. I had flown into the town, while she, unable to fly, went on a boat. She pretended to be me and lfet mysteriously (hid, actually), while I went on the boat and flew back, and hid as well. The townspeople were none the wiser.

So, when the Sea-Wolf and her five buddies walked up on shore that night, they were awfully suprised to see me still there, and were even more suprised when the rogue sneak attacked and killed one. It was a short battle, especially when I killed the head of the Sea-Wolfs with a Phantasmal Killer because she failed both saves. The rest were her support, and fell easily.

This careful planning not only saved the town, but pissed off the DM who thought she'd planned it perfectly to get the jump on us. Didn't count on me being able to spy on her villian.

[blacksabre]

Most proud and sinsiter at the same time...
After 4 of our 6 players went on hiatus for 6 weeks (vactions etc) The DM decided to run a duo campaign...(ME) a CE Thief/Assasin and a CE Barbarian bounty hunter..basically bring 'em back dead or alive team up ...

At about level 9 , we were sent to eliminate a CN wizard about level 12....but his home was heavily trapped

Spent about 4 days looking around the city to purchase about 2 dozen of our "special" items in 4 large bags.. 4 haste scrolls and a Rock to Mud scroll..

We arranged to have the wizard visit another city for about a day..while he was away..

Rock to mud scroll puts a small hole in his homes wall..(inconspicuos place around back, behind a bush..)

Caste haste on the items in the four bags, empty the contents into the hole in the wall..

Special Items?= 2 dozen hasted puppies...running around the trapped wiazrds home setting off traps left and right...we waited about an hour for all the phoom, bang and yelp sounds to die down..then entered, the remain traps we dealt with..

Cleanup the mess, wait for wizard to return...as expected, teleporting right into study at the markings on the floor for a teleport spell..

[JackMage666]

..... Did you really have to Haste the poor puppies?

[The Glyphstone]

I was pretty impressed with what my group pulled off in one of the earlier meetings. They were all...4th level, I think, and exploring a classic haunted house, complete with skeletons, zombies, and a dining room filled with possessed food (yay, swarms of animated objects). Once they finished off the flying silverware and strangling sausage links, the somewhat kleptomaniac rogue decides he's going to loot all the silver spoons/forks/knives. They get shoved into his pockets and they keep exploring. Fast forward a bit to the basement, where they confront the low-level vampire wizard who owned the house. He might have been low-level, but the Fighter and the Wizard both got Dominated early on, and the group didn't have any silvered weapons. The Warlock's blasts were trading with his Fast Healing, while the rest of the group (Warlock was Spider Climbing on the ceiling next to the Vampire) run from the Fighter.

Rogue: "That silverware - can I attach them to my crossbow bolts?"

Me:...???....!!!

I let him do it, a full-round action to attach a few forks and treating them as improvised weapons for a -4 penalty.

Next turn, he promptly rolls max damage and puts the vamp to 0.

[Diggorian]

My 10th level Dwarven cleric and 9th level Fighter PC got seperated from the party and were trekking across a frozen mountain to rejoin them. My higher level and most mid-level spells were tapped plus the fighter was still badly hurt after my healing. I strapped him to my dire-dog mount Farfle (a large St. Bernard with Dwarven whiskey around his neck ) I'm leading the way when a gargantuan Remorhaz (15HD) pops up out of the ground!

*rolls initiative*

DM to me: "You're first against the hungry beast."

My Cleric: "... what constitutes food?"

DM chuckles: "Delicacies, rations, anything edible. To this monster any warm meat it sees. Heehee."

Cleric: "OK ... I cast Create Food and Water to summon a pile of steaming hot horse, cow, and pig parts enough to feed five large creatures 30ft behind the monster."

DM shocked: "... the Remorhaz roars at you ... before diving into the pile of meat. It watches you defensively as it feasts"

Cleric gives thumbs up to fighter: "I lead Farfle slowly, nonthreateningly away from it."

Then, the fighter not wanting to get jipped on XP for doing nothing got off the dog and charged it! We lived, but my dog got swallowed!

[ExHunterEmerald]

How?

We started by charging as soon as we saw him--didn't even give him a chance to talk. See, earlier the half-giant fighter challenged the town guards to a fight and they said the Captain of the Guard would fight. This was him.
So we got ourselves a surprise round.
I, the wizard, hang back and pummel him with save-or-sucks, drain his strength, slow him, if I'd prepped grease I bet I'd have knocked him prone...
While the dragon shaman and the fighter pummel him.
The fighter is doing severe damage, and drops the fighter twice, but I revive him with potions of CSW.
The giant gets a crit with his scythe. It still didn't kill him, but it brought him to five HP.
We actually were captured here because we were attacked by our other party members. ...but then the dragon shaman puts on his aura of vigor and we start healing, and he breathes fire in the guard captain's face, twice. (He'd taken a healing potion by now.)
Then the giant's healed up and, since they didn't have manacles his size, isn't cuffed. He jumps up and makes one final hit, and he kills the captain of the guard!

...and then our party finishes us off with a spark shower. Asses.

[Jannex]

I recall one occasion where my friend and fellow player was absent for a session, and being the player who knew him best, I was given the task of playing his Bard-barian in addition to my own bard. This worked out well, as he and the other PCs managed to get themselves picked up by the city guard for questioning relating to (I forget what), while my character was off elsewhere. Eventually the PCs were left alone in an interrogation room, and decided to try and sneak out the window. The Bard-barian was the last one out the window. Unfortunately, I rolled abysmally on his Move Silently check, and almost immediately a guard was in the window, shouting for him to stop.

Now, the thing to understand about this character is that he's almost pathologically impulsive, spontaneous, and generally Chaotic. So, while I'm trying to think up some way of getting my friend's character out of the mess I've gotten him in, a flash of inspiration hits me. I have him pull a Bugs Bunny. He reaches up, grab the guard's head, and kiss him right on the mouth, then run the heck away while the guard tries to recover.

It worked.

[Jayabalard]

I'm not sure whether that plan would actually work, from a chemistry standpoint. Cesium doesn't explode like dynamite on contact with water; it just burns very violently. Sodium does too, for that matter.

I'd say that's quite incorrect. Cesium can indeed cause an explosion (though I've heard conflicting reports on whether that was faked for the episode)

Very rapid combustion, causing a rapid increase in temperature, which is pretty much a textbook definition of an explosion. In this particular case, the reaction generates an exothermic reaction that also produces hydrogen gas, and it's the hydrogen gas that is explosive. Even a small amount of Rubidium or Cesium can generate enough hydrogen to be explosive, and large enough enough amount either could be enormously explosive.

Reference
the reaction of alkali metal with water forms alkali hydroxide and hydrogen. The fireworks are created from the exothermicity of the reaction igniting the hydrogen gas. This occurs much more rapidly as one goes down the column of alkali metals, since as size increases the ionization potential decreases. Thus, cesium is the most reactive of the alkali metals. Note that the alkali-in-water experiment is carried out wearing safety glasses and with a clear plastic blast shield to protect the students.

that said... even with an alchemist I don't think that this plan was very in character. Cesium isn't something that can even be easily detected, as it was discovered using spectroscopic means (the first element to e discovered that way) in 1860.

[factotum]

It's not a story of genius, but one of blind luck. We were playing Rolemaster, which has a "roll and add" system--e.g. you roll d100, and if you get 96 or greater (I think) you roll again and add the totals. Somebody in my party once managed to roll a natural 352 using this system, which actually annoyed him a lot because it was for some completely unimportant skill check--if he'd done that on a combat roll it would have been "You kill the giant armoured knight with a blunted toothpick" territory!

[Were-Sandwich]

I'd say that's quite incorrect. Cesium can indeed cause an explosion (though I've heard conflicting reports on whether that was faked for the episode)

Very rapid combustion, causing a rapid increase in temperature, which is pretty much a textbook definition of an explosion. In this particular case, the reaction generates an exothermic reaction that also produces hydrogen gas, and it's the hydrogen gas that is explosive. Even a small amount of Rubidium or Cesium can generate enough hydrogen to be explosive, and large enough enough amount either could be enormously explosive.



that said... even with an alchemist I don't think that this plan was very in character. Cesium isn't something that can even be easily detected, as it was discovered using spectroscopic means (the first element to e discovered that way) in 1860.

yay, it would have worked!

[blacksabre]

..... Did you really have to Haste the poor puppies?

No..but for sadistic comic relief it was funny as hell

[brian c]

I was a swordsage 3, facing my doppeltwin. There wasn't room enough for the two of us.

This was a perfect doppeltwin: the stats were identical. Which meant that we really didn't have any way to hurt each other barring dumb luck.

My challenge? A one-round match of Roshambo. Whoever was more badly injured at the end of that was the winner.

I hit first. He hit second. I countered with Fire Riposte.

I had a campaign once at level 6 or so we all faced our perfect twins; well, when i say we all I mean together. I was a half-ogre barbarian with a fullblade, ridiculous damage, but dumb as a rock. Dumb enough to have put on the shiny anklets that I found earlier without getting them identified: they ended up being anklets of Otto's Irresistable Dance (10% chance or so to activate for d4 rounds). The DM ruled that our twins even had the same gear as us, so luckily my twin's anklets went off and mine didn't :)

[Tengu]

When my players went after a mad (not really evil) scientist (who also happened to be a moogle) who stole their airship, they didn't expect to find him piloting a steamtank with added crab pinders in his lair. What I planned as a tough combat was avoided by my players by making him surrender with threatening to destroy his diploma, which they sto...acquired basically moments before.

[Nowhere Girl]

Finally at the third alcove the very last archer killed me on his AoO for my bullrush :( I died, but gloriously. And if for some reason I had been a Wizard with Improved Bullrush, I would have done a lot better.

Fun fact: per RAW, you are not entitled to any kind of AoO using a ranged weapon.