You begin in a tavern...

[Kami2awa]

... which is odd, because you last remember getting out of the taxi and queuing to get into Trax, your local nightclub. What the hell was in that drink? And who are all these weird pointy-eared people wearing suits of armour, like something out of Game of Thrones?

... staring through the star-iron bars at the hideous, reptilian patrons. One of them hands some triangular coins to the bartender, and points at you. The bartender advances on the cage, snare and butcher knife in hand.

... and feel a hideous shudder as the worst earthquake you've ever felt hits. The floor tilts and to your horror you realise the whole building is about to fall into an abyss. Roll initiative.

Any more ideas for variants on perhaps the most popular (or cliched) campaign opening?

[Keltest]

... Pay your bills, and then go to the town square, where you hear that the army is recruiting.

Yeah, I don't have much patience for writing complicated backstories. If my party wants to do that, more power to them, ill just tell them relevant facts about the world if they need them.

[JAL_1138]

You begin in a tavern...

*...Which you own and run, having inherited it from your mother. Said tavern has been set on fire by the hobgoblin army that's in the process of sacking the city. You have 10 rounds to escape or you'll perish in the blaze. Your starting gear is whatever you can carry out in that time. The hobgoblins have a large force operating in well-trained, well-armed squads throughout the city, and will imprison or outright kill you if you are captured. Good luck.

*...in Sigil. The Lady of Pain is blocking the only exit, and she's looking right at you. Or, if you're lucky, at the poor sod just behind you.

*...which has been roped off with the guards' yellow-dyed rope, indicating a crime is under investigation, and is unoccupied except for yourselves, the watchman outside, and the bloodstains on the floorboards and walls. The Inquisitor hired your company two days ago to assist in processing the scene and searching for the suspect, who may have fled into the catacombs beneath the city, rumoured to connect to the sub-basements of various buildings here.

*...Which is run by a tinker gnome, and promptly explodes.

*...where your grandfather used to work, before he died ten years ago. You catch a glimpse of a grim figure in shrouded robes in the booth in the farthest corner; you sense it looking at you. Then you wake up in your prison cell.

[Maglubiyet]

...where your rotten, no-good nephew has been imbibing Liquid Pain and wagering your sister's hard-earned coin on games of chance. If you catch him with those Dirk Boys again there will be hellfire to pay...

...after hours, staring at the crusted filth coating the tables, chairs, and walls. Is that dried blood on the bar? You sigh and dip your mop in the bucket of soapy water, when you hear a gurgling wheeze coming from under a booth in the corner...

[JAL_1138]

...to wring Thieves' Guild "protection money" out of the barkeep. If you don't make your collections again, there'll be hell to pay. He's eighth on your list of "clients" and you have eight more to go before this month is out...in two days.

[blacklight101]

...waiting on your friend to show up. He is a half hour late. Again. When the door opens for the first time in since you got there, you thought it was him. You were wrong. It looks like a handful of enforcers from some local gang. They don't look in a mood to drink...

...talking to your First Officer after a successful voyage. You are both waiting for your orders of food and drink to arrive. Talk of the massive profits are the topic of conversation along with where they might journey next. Your Quartermaster comes through the door the same time your food arrives. He seems hurried and speaks just as quickly. Something about an angry mob headed towards the docks to burn some ships.

[JAL_1138]

...hiding under a table from the very angry, crossbow-wielding fellow who walked in on you with his lover in one of the rooms upstairs. The door is fifteen feet away...

[VoxRationis]

* which has been appropriated by General Aenselas' staff to serve as a command post. The leadership of the Vadhimoran elves stands around a map, considering how best to face the recent alliance of their Canorveri rivals with the human kingdom of Tamaria.

[Sith_Happens]

...which so happens to be on fire.

As long we're spicing up a cliché, it might as well be with another cliché.

[JAL_1138]

...populated entirely by creatures normally regarded as "monsters" or at the very least uncivilized, with a suwyze behind the bar serving numerous drinks at once, and a centaur, a minotaur, and an ogre as bouncers. One of the many orcish patrons looks around and says "huh, haven't seen a [your species] in here in a long while. Pull up a chair and have a drink, it's on me."

[Tvtyrant]

...Just like the last 19 times you lived through this day.

[Cealocanth]

... Well, what used to be a tavern. It's amazing what dragons can do given an hour and an enraged hatred for everything human.

... , a dark and spooky tavern. This building appeared warm and inviting on the outside, but this place looks like it has been abandoned for years. A curious darkness overlays the entirety of the front room. Tables have been overturned or simply smashed. Cobwebs dangle from every possible surface. The front door closes behind you with a quiet click of the lock, all by itself. Did you see something? Over there? Just inside that broken mirror...

[DigoDragon]

...with several dead bodies laying about among shards of broke glass and cracked chairs. It's quiet, with not another living soul around. There's blood all over your hands, blood that you're pretty sure is mostly not your own. The place reeks of spilled booze and incense.

Then the captain of the guard pounds on the door. He demands entry.

[Inevitability]

... a very silent tavern, as Arrug'Dah, Scourge of the Lands, Archlich of the Pokotomatapus archipel, has just walked in. The undead mage calmly steps over to the bartender, and then speaks:

"A glass of wine, please."

You are pretty sure no one saw that coming.

[Gritmonger]

...which happens to be one of the remaining floating items in the former town that has instead started a new occupation as a lake bottom.

...at least that's what your mother and father tell you. One uncomfortable discussion later and you avow to be more responsible in going out and carousing.

[JAL_1138]

...but when you go back outside, the town is apparently abandoned, and the tavern you just left is boarded-up and empty. It is snowing lightly, and the fog is so thick you could cut it with a knife...

[Red Fel]

... which shouldn't be there. The door through which you entered usually leads to the storeroom in your shop / the pantry in the castle / the armory in the barracks. And yet here you are, walking into a tavern, with an oblivious and somewhat unclean bartender spitting idly into glasses before wiping them with a rag that has seen better days. Odder still, this tavern appears to have multiple doors, all of which are open, their occupants looking just as perplexed as you...

[Segev]

...blinking confusedly across a table at equaly baffled strangers. In front of each of you is an empty mug that obviously just held some sort of strong-smelling substance, and a note written in your own hand writing:

"As you read this, you have just drunk the Lethe Ale Brew of your own free will. I won't tell you why; that would defeat the point. But the most important thing you need to know right now is that you can trust the people at this table with you with your life. In fact, you must. Because all of you need to get out of here. Right now."

[DigoDragon]

"As you read this, you have just drunk the Lethe Ale Brew of your own free will. I won't tell you why; that would defeat the point. But the most important thing you need to know right now is that you can trust the people at this table with you with your life. In fact, you must. Because all of you need to get out of here. Right now."

*Steals for the eventual next D&D campaign*

[Gopher Wizard]

...and said tavern is currently falling out of the sky after being picked up by an ancient red dragon. An elf wizard flies by on a pegasus and rescues you.

How'd I do?

[veti]

The githzerai at table 3 are openly taunting the slaadi at table 7. Already the succubus hen party from table 4 has moved to a safer distance at table 19, putting them uncomfortably close to the party from Asgard at table 22.

The mind flayers at table 1 seem to be playing some game, involving dice and lots of pieces of paper. You're not sure, but you suspect the kender at table 5 are being used as stakes.

The stone giants at tables 12 through 18 are getting rowdy, but nobody is too sure what they want because the waiters are too scared to go near them.

You have 12 bags of peanuts remaining, two jars of pickled eggs, four of goat jerky, two sacks of pumice, and all the beer you can handle. Oh, and you're responsible for any breakages.

[Siosilvar]

...hiding under a table from the very angry, crossbow-wielding fellow who walked in on you with his lover in one of the rooms upstairs. The door is fifteen feet away...

Isn't that a Lynyrd Skynyrd song?

[Lord Raziere]

...that caters heavily to goblins, orcs and trolls, all of whom REALLY do not like being labeled as evil and kind of just want to have a drink and a good time.

...Of The Gods.

...that gets you really drunk then reveals itself to be a pirate ship, congratulations matey, you've been shanghai'd by Captain Barbeard!

...when an Inquisitor kicks open the door: "I know there are Nephilim and witches here! Come forward or I'll kill you all!"

...that is completely deserted aside from you and the other Players. and the entire town around it is deserted as well.

...Full of Scum with the strangest morphs, because you heard that one of them is going to unleash a nano-plague upon Mars.

...that should not exist.

...full of nothing but parallel versions of you and your friends.

...with an innkeeper who was formerly a dark lord of all evil.

...full of ninja. You can only see the apprentice ones however.

...when suddenly two thieves burst in and say "Prepare for trouble, make it double..."

...that suddenly exploded and now your climbing out of the wreckage. Figure out why.

[russdm]

*...sitting at a table with Lord Soth, Drizzt Do'Urden, the Lady of Pain (who is accidently pregnant by you and has just announced it before handing you a piece of paper), and your irate 5 month pregnant girlfriend while holding a paper indicating that you have been hired to lead your table mates to find the holy garter...

*...waking in bed next to the king and his chief bodyguard...

*...married for 5 years and to a Dragon...

*...having been hired to kill the bartender...

*...having lost all of your gold to grues...

*...as mice...

*...as cats...

*...as intelligent items on a well known heroic paladin (male or female)...

*...as having thrown a pie into the face of the king/dark lord/queen/powerful figure...

and the Last one:

*...that is a hive of scum and villainy, where you are looking to hire a star-pilot to take you to Alderaan...

[Othniel]

...hiding under a table after you suddenly found that your magic ring, which you thought was in your pocket, had somehow got on your finger. The crowd gasped at your sudden disappearance as you finished a silly song, and you've suddenly been grabbed and pulled aside by a scruffy-looking wanderer.

[JAL_1138]

Isn't that a Lynyrd Skynyrd song?

Yup. "Gimme Three Steps," hence the fifteen feet, although Van Zandt / narrator didn't hide under the table.

[Sith_Happens]

Captain Barbeard!

*...as intelligent items on a well known heroic paladin (male or female)...

...I think you've just invented Everyone is John d20.

[roko10]

...and swiftly gets evicted from the tavern and told to never come back because of, say, inciting a bar brawl or pickpocketing or accidentally setting fire to the tavern, nearly burning it down. Aside from the PC's, a mysterious hooded person was also kicked out for constantly annoying the taverngoers with some sort of quest.

[Asheram]

... the drink you just swallowed left a bitter aftertaste and burns all the way down your throat and stomach. You nod towards your companions in anticipation as your vision grows hazy, your limbs starting to tremble before dropping to the floor in violent convulsions, all for the glory of Nerull... and then your corpse rises.

[JAL_1138]

...where a group of political activists wearing powdered wigs are loudly discussing an ancient pre-empire form of government.