Vile speaker (3.5) PEACH welcome

[smoke prism]

Hello fellow members of the playground

This is my first pice of homebrew after about a year of inactivaty. This mean that I'm quite rusty on the rules (doesn't help 3.5 is a pain to work with at the best of times).so please be kind, but truthful in your criticism

Size/Type:	Medium outsider (native)
Hit Dice:	4d8 (18 hp)
Initiative:	+6
Speed:	30 ft
Armor Class:	15 (+2 Dex, +3 Deflection), touch 12 , flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:	+4/+3
Attack:	slam+3 (1d6-1)
Full Attack:	slam+3 (1d6-1)
Space/Reach:	5ft/5my
Special Attacks:	Fragments of darkspeech
Special Qualities:	Darkvision 60ft
Saves:	Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities:	Str 9 , Dex 14 , Con 10 , Int 5 , Wis 5 , Cha 18
Skills:	Hide +9, Move silently +9, escape artist +9, listen +9, search +9
Feats:	improved Initiative, iron will
Environment:	Any, material plane
Organization:	Solo, cackle (2-3), madness (4-6), cacophony (7 or more)
Challenge Rating:	CR 2
Treasure:	none
Alignment:	Chaotic neutral
Advancement:	5-10 (medium), 11-15 (large),
Level Adjustment:	-

Description:
"We were going to ruff the guy up, take his money. Then he whispered something into Brekts ear, and his eyes started to bleed black blood"
- Unknown gang member, describing a encounter with a vile speaker.

Most people know that words have power. They can convince men to go against there better nature. Those who encounter vile speakers know this more that anyone.

Standing slightly smaller than a adult human and shrouded in tattered black cloth. No one has ever lived to tell what a is under a vile speakers cloths, with many scholar speculation that they are mearly cloths animated by a shard of malice.

Whalst the true origins of Vile speakers are not know, the most wildly accepted theory is that Vile speakers are fragments of darkspeech given form. This means that any use of darkspeech means that Vile speakers will manifest. These Vile speakers will then have the innate ability to reflexively utter fragments of darkspeech.

Thankfully Vile speakers don't actively seek to cause damage, they will reflexively utter fragments of darkspeech as a defence mechanism when in danger.




Combat:

Fragments of darkspeech (su):
As a full round action a Vile speaker may cause a enemy within 30 feet, who can hear him, to make a will save (DC: 16. based on charisma). If they pass there is no effect. If they fail roll 1d8 and consult the effect on the below table:

1: There is no effect: The fragment of darkspeech is incomplete.
2: Frightened: Frightened for 1d6 rounds
3: laceration: 1d6 damage. In addition they must make a fortitude save (DC: 16. save charisma based) save or they are dazed for 1d6 rounds.
4: Panicked: Panicked for 1d10 rounds.
5: Eye bleed: 1d10 points of damage. In addition they must make a fortitude save (DC:16.save charisma based) save or they are blind for 1d6 rounds.
6: flesh to ash: 2d6 points of damage. In addition they must make a fortitude save (DC: 15. save charisma based) save or they are Nauseated for 1d6 rounds.
7: Mental decay: Roll a 1d3: (1) int, (2) wis, (3) cha. They take 1d6 ability damage to that state.
8: Physical atrophy: Roll a 1d3: (1) str, (2) dex, (3) con. They take 1d6 ability damage to that state.

[Zaydos]

Well the first thing that jumps out at me is that it's missing its size and type. I'm guessing Medium Outsider (Evil) or (Native)? Fits the HD, BAB, Fort, and Ref saves but in that case it has far too few skill points (should have 35, has 6), actually regardless of type it should have at least 7 skill points and it's Will save should be +1 if it is a good save or -2 if it is a poor save.

Other than that it's hard to CR. I mean without Fragments of Darkspeech it'd be CR 1, except that it has a lot of hp in that case, but... at Lv 2 a warrior (Good Fort Con as secondary stat) has ~+5 to Fort, that means it has a 24% chance of taking them out of the fight for 1d6 (rounds each round, a 4.5% chance of blinding them for 1d6 rounds, and an 15% chance of doing significant ability damage, and a 18% chance of dealing low-moderate damage, 9% chance of high damage (for CR 1); now some of these are mutually exclusive but the damage isn't. I'd suggest swapping Ability Focus for another feat and they'd probably get by at CR 2. It still leaves them really mean to low level poor Fort characters, but makes them less likely to take out one then another character.

[smoke prism]

Well the first thing that jumps out at me is that it's missing its size and type. I'm guessing Medium Outsider (Evil) or (Native)? Fits the HD, BAB, Fort, and Ref saves but in that case it has far too few skill points (should have 35, has 6), actually regardless of type it should have at least 7 skill points and it's Will save should be +1 if it is a good save or -2 if it is a poor save.

Other than that it's hard to CR. I mean without Fragments of Darkspeech it'd be CR 1, except that it has a lot of hp in that case, but... at Lv 2 a warrior (Good Fort Con as secondary stat) has ~+5 to Fort, that means it has a 24% chance of taking them out of the fight for 1d6 (rounds each round, a 4.5% chance of blinding them for 1d6 rounds, and an 15% chance of doing significant ability damage, and a 18% chance of dealing low-moderate damage, 9% chance of high damage (for CR 1); now some of these are mutually exclusive but the damage isn't. I'd suggest swapping Ability Focus for another feat and they'd probably get by at CR 2. It still leaves them really mean to low level poor Fort characters, but makes them less likely to take out one then another character.

Thanks for the help. Changes have been made as per your suggestions. It's nice to see that after a year my only mistake is a few minor oversights.

[Debihuman]

Creatures normally increase in size when they double their HD. 5-7 Medium, 8-14 Large.

Dark speech should probably be d6 -- drop 1 since that is what making the save does,and condense 7+8 into a d6 roll since there really isn't a a d3.

Fragments of Darkspeech (Su): As a full round action, a vile speaker may cause an enemy within 30 feet, who can hear him, to make a Will save (DC 16) or suffer an adverse effect (see table below). The save DC is Charisma-based. If the enemy passes, there is no effect. If the enemy fails, roll d6 and consult the effect on the below table:

1. The enemy is Frightened for 1d6 rounds
2. The enemy is lacerated and takes 1d6 points of damage. In addition, the enemy must make a Fortitude save (DC 16), or be Dazed for 1d6 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based.
3. The enemy is Panicked for 1d10 rounds.
4. The enemy’s eyes bleed for 1d10 points of damage. In addition, the enemy must make a Fortitude save (DC 16) or be Blinded for 1d6 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based.
5. The enemy’s skin begins to burn taking 2d6 points of fire damage. In addition, the enemy must make a Fortitude save (DC 16) or become Nauseated for 1d6 rounds The save DC is Charisma-based.
6. The enemy takes 1d6 points of ability damage to a random stat. Roll a d6: (1) Int, (2) Wis, (3) Cha, (4) Str, (5) Dex, (6) Con.

Deflection bonuses are magical in nature. Where does this get its deflection bonus from? It looks like it needs another special ability.

Reach should also be 5 ft. (typo).

Combat section is blank. Perhaps you could add this: Vile speakers always begin combat using their slam attack and only use their Fragments of Darkspeech after being attacked.

Debby