Pimp my Fortress

[ClericofPhwarrr]

In one of the campaigns I'm in, the DM dangled an extremely valuable treasure seemingly out of reach, and I've found a way to snatch it. (If you're wondering, it was a unique art piece, which we'd smashed before I had appraised it. Make Whole makes everything better, and the DM okayed it) It's worth 100-200k even after being broken/repaired, and I'm the only character who knows this (the rogue, who is quite greedy though he likes the rest of the group a lot). The catch is, I'm level 6, and I don't want to destroy the game with a huge boost to my wealth by level, and OOC I would like to get something that can benefit the other PCs.

So rather than get a Tome of +5 to Constitution (which wouldn't be as noticable as most other things, but still) I'm going to get a Daern's Instant Fortress:

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Instant Fortress
This metal cube is small, but when activated by speaking a command word it grows to form a tower 20 feet square and 30 feet high, with arrow slits on all sides and a crenellated battlement atop it. The metal walls extend 10 feet into the ground, rooting it to the spot and preventing it from being tipped over. The fortress has a small door that opens only at the command of the owner of the fortress—even knock spells can’t open the door.

The adamantine walls of instant fortress have 100 hit points and hardness 20. The fortress cannot be repaired except by a wish or a miracle, which restores 50 points of damage taken.

The fortress springs up in just 1 round, with the door facing the device’s owner. The door opens and closes instantly at his command. People and creatures nearby (except the owner) must be careful not to be caught by the fortress’s sudden growth. Anyone so caught takes 10d10 points of damage (Reflex DC 19 half).

The fortress is deactivated by speaking a command word (different from the one used to activate it). It cannot be deactivated unless it is empty.

Strong conjuration; CL 13th; Craft Wondrous Item, mage’s magnificent mansion; Price 55,000 gp.

as a portable group base/home. That still doesn't cover all the money I'll be getting, though, so the DM said I could modify the fortress, giving the suggestion of several Bag of Holding costs to store everything inside (instead of requiring it to be empty).

So, with the 45k-145k left, what would you do to make this home-in-the-pocket better (both more secure, more livable, and cooler)? I've had the following ideas:

• Bronze Griffon Figurine as a gargoyle-esque guardian when needed
• Permanent Gust of Wind (set at a nice breeze) on one side to foil cloud spells
• Continuous Nondetection or Permanent Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum to foil hostile divinations
• Continuous Unseen Servant(s)
• Levitation (or even Fly) on command for the entire fortress
• Bags of Holding (their equivalent cost, actually) to hold everything inside

Non-magical ideas are of course welcome too (as are cheap ones, which I didn't really mention). The more fun and creative we can make this, the better.

[Caewil]

Permanent heat metal to make a sauna?

[asqwasqw]

I would like to say that it would be fun to use the mansion when your opponents are in front of you as a last ditch effort to survive. Imagine having a house fall on you...

Inside the bag of holding, I would suggest having extra equipment for traveling, such as feather tokens, in case you ever venture into the sea. Figurines to defend it would be nice, yes. Might I suggest having many bags of tricks, one for each player? You can sit inside your fortress flinging animals out through the arrow slits, as free defense.

[Lucky]

Well you need a good supply of Everlasting Torches because you need light at night, and a bunch of torches on the walls as you walk up the spiral staircase is just so damn cool.

[13_CBS]

I don't suppose there's a way to somehow make the fortress summon monsters via the spell series whenever an alarm spell is triggered...combined with a series of Force Wall generating spells, you can contain and destroy many sneaky thieves trying to invade your home.

Oh, don't forget about water and food supplies! A decanter of endless water plus something that generates food would be a good idea. Toilets/lavatories wouldn't be such a bad idea either (a specialized bag of holding, maybe?).

[Lucky]

I don't suppose there's a way to somehow make the fortress summon monsters via the spell series whenever an alarm spell is triggered...combined with a series of Force Wall generating spells, you can contain and destroy many sneaky thieves trying to invade your home.

You could make a magic trap of Summon Monster (X).

Toilets/lavatories wouldn't be such a bad idea either (a specialized bag of holding, maybe?).

Ring gates. One for a toilet, another one far, far away.

@V Quality idea, just don't get too close.

[thehothead]

Toilets/lavatories wouldn't be such a bad idea either (a specialized bag of holding, maybe?).

No, a bag of devouring... It's a decent use for a cursed item!

[asqwasqw]

Bag of devouring:
It acts as a bag of holding type I, but each hour it has a 5% cumulative chance of swallowing the contents and then spitting the stuff out in some nonspace or on some other plane.

Would that mean that it swallows your ... your ... the stuff that comes out of the opposite end you eat with? I wonder if it has any taste buds...

[thehothead]

Exactly. Best use for a cursed item (other then using one on someone else)

[ClericofPhwarrr]

Good ideas so far! To touch on a few specific ones:

I don't suppose there's a way to somehow make the fortress summon monsters via the spell series whenever an alarm spell is triggered...combined with a series of Force Wall generating spells, you can contain and destroy many sneaky thieves trying to invade your home.

I doubt I'll need to trap it. Either the party will be inside, or it'll be in my pocket. Besides, that door is next to impossible to get past.

No, a bag of devouring... It's a decent use for a cursed item!

Permanent heat metal to make a sauna?

That does sound fun. After a long day dungeon-delving, find a good spot to put the fort, and hop in the sauna.

[asqwasqw]

Exactly. Best use for a cursed item (other then using one on someone else)

Hey, buddy! I have a gift for you! A bag of holding! Why don't you try it out? *your buddy gets devoured*

You could assasinate kings like that!

[13_CBS]

I suppose for entertainment you could toss in a Programmed Image spell for virtual fun, perverted or otherwise.

[Lucky]

Oh, and don't forget the permanent Unseen Servants.

[ClericofPhwarrr]

Oh, and don't forget the permanent Unseen Servants.

*Cough* OP *Cough*

I suppose for entertainment you could toss in a Programmed Image spell for virtual fun, perverted or otherwise.

Heh. I suppose since all the characters are guys, it couldn't get too bad. Wait...

[Lucky]

*Cough* OP *Cough*

Well... it was such a long post... That and you put "Invisible Servant," totally threw me off.

Oh, and some siege weaponry on the roof could be helpful for those siege wars you always get up in.

[ClericofPhwarrr]

Well... it was such a long post... That and you put "Invisible Servant," totally threw me off.

It was such a long post, I knew I must've missed something. Fixed.

Oh, and some siege weaponry on the roof could be helpful for those siege wars you always get up in.

I like the way you think, sir!

"The wizard has a Wind Wall/Protection from Arrows up!"
"So? Fire!"

[Iku Rex]

The adamantine walls of instant fortress have 100 hit points and hardness 20. The fortress cannot be repaired except by a wish or a miracle, which restores 50 points of damage taken.

I would pay extra to make the fortress regenerate damage, or at least appear fully "healed" every time you summon it. A single barbarian with Power Attack and an adamantine weapon could do a real number on your glorious fortress. A series of hardening (SpC) spells to increase the hardness of the walls would also be helpful.

Edit: The Stronghold Builder's Guidebook has all sorts of expensive ways to enhance a fortress.

[Fizban]

Fine, don't post my post.

Get the Stronghold Builders Guidebook. For 200k, you can easily get a flying house with enough space to live in. Do you realize how small the instant fortress is? I wouldn't want to live in one.

Stationary (or tied to building) magic items cost 1/4 the cost (assuming they aren't blatant cheese). The guidebook has prices for all sorts of healing/trapping/building buffing items already statted and priced, as well as costs for mobile buildings, and the actual mundane cost of rooms (furniture isn't exactly cheap ya know?).

Failing that, get a flying ship. The Kanto's Lament is pretty good, it has all kinds of goodies, but I can't remember if it was 200k or 400k. You could always hunt down the genie slaver wizard and gank him for it though.

[Sir Giacomo]

What about combining the instant fortress with a rod of security (see below*) effect inside for your own unlimited range indoor park? You could also add some kind of "holo-deck" space with permanent mirage arcana (or x/day use of mirage arcana to create whatever you like).

Ah, the possibilities are endless...

- Giacomo


*From SRD
Security: This item creates a nondimensional space, a pocket paradise. There the rod’s possessor and as many as 199 other creatures can stay in complete safety for a period of time, up to 200 days divided by the number of creatures affected. All fractions are rounded down.
In this pocket paradise, creatures don’t age, and natural healing take place at twice the normal rate. Fresh water and food (fruits and vegetables only) are in abundance. The climate is comfortable for all creatures involved.
Activating the rod (a standard action) causes the wielder and all creatures touching the rod to be transported instantaneously to the paradise. Members of large groups can hold hands or otherwise maintain physical contact, allowing all connected creatures in a circle or a chain to be affected by the rod. Unwilling creatures get a DC 17 Will save to negate the effect. If such a creature succeeds on its save, other creatures beyond that point in a chain can still be affected by the rod.
When the rod’s effect expires or is dispelled, all the affected creatures instantly reappear in the location they occupied when the rod was activated. If something else occupies the space that a traveler would be returning to, then his body is displaced a sufficient distance to provide the space required for reentry. The rod’s possessor can dismiss the effect whenever he wishes before the maximum time period expires, but the rod can only be activated once per week.
Strong conjuuration; CL 20th; Craft Rod, gate; Price 61,000 gp.

[EagleWiz]

No dont get the fortress.
Hire a bard, buy two lyres of building.
Build a fortress.

Then spend all the money.

[Kami2awa]

Find some way to make it teleport on command, and get yourself a multicoloured scarf and wand of knock spells.

[FireSpark]

No dont get the fortress.
Hire a bard, buy two lyres of building.
Build a fortress.

Then spend all the money.

Why two lyres of building and only one bard?


And to the OP:
Nothing makes a fortress feel like home like the addition of a library. Yes they can get a little pricey, but when the party gets stuck or just needs to advance their understanding a little, you're all set. (Plus the group wizards and other book worms will simply *adore* you.)

[Citizen Joe]

I saw nothing in the description of the fortress that states that stuff inside it when it is deactivated get stored in some other dimension. Nor do I see any mention of furnishings.

[ClericofPhwarrr]

I saw nothing in the description of the fortress that states that stuff inside it when it is deactivated get stored in some other dimension. Nor do I see any mention of furnishings.

Did you read my post? The DM is allowing me to pay the cost of multiple bags of holding to store any items inside in another dimension. I can add furnishings then, which will go into the storage space when the fortress is deactivated. The whole point of this exercise is to take the original description and enhance it.

Then spend all the money.

That's what I'm trying to do with this. I could easily just buy 100-200k of magic items for my rogue, but I want to sink it all into the fortress.

I would pay extra to make the fortress regenerate damage, or at least appear fully "healed" every time you summon it. A single barbarian with Power Attack and an adamantine weapon could do a real number on your glorious fortress. A series of hardening (SpC) spells to increase the hardness of the walls would also be helpful.

Good point. I'm less worried about that barbarian you mentioned (clang clang clang goes his axe, thud thud thud go our arrows), but multiple spellcasters could hurt it pretty quickly. I wonder how much this upgrade would cost...

Find some way to make it teleport on command, and get yourself a multicoloured scarf and wand of knock spells.

If you had something special in mind, I'm not getting it.

Get the Stronghold Builders Guidebook. For 200k, you can easily get a flying house with enough space to live in. Do you realize how small the instant fortress is? I wouldn't want to live in one.

Stationary (or tied to building) magic items cost 1/4 the cost (assuming they aren't blatant cheese). The guidebook has prices for all sorts of healing/trapping/building buffing items already statted and priced, as well as costs for mobile buildings, and the actual mundane cost of rooms (furniture isn't exactly cheap ya know?).

Failing that, get a flying ship. The Kanto's Lament is pretty good, it has all kinds of goodies, but I can't remember if it was 200k or 400k. You could always hunt down the genie slaver wizard and gank him for it though.

I'd prefer not to buy any books for this (and I don't have the Builders Guidebook). But I'm glad to hear about the stationary cost of magic items. Also, the fortress doesn't sound that small. 30 ft high means three levels of 10ft high ceilings (or 4 levels of 7.5ft high ceilings), with 400ft of living space at each level.

What about combining the instant fortress with a rod of security (see below*) effect inside for your own unlimited range indoor park? You could also add some kind of "holo-deck" space with permanent mirage arcana (or x/day use of mirage arcana to create whatever you like).

Hmmm... that would be quite a few possibilities there...

Nothing makes a fortress feel like home like the addition of a library. Yes they can get a little pricey, but when the party gets stuck or just needs to advance their understanding a little, you're all set. (Plus the group wizards and other book worms will simply *adore* you.)

Good call!

[bugsysservant]

Find some way to make it teleport on command, and get yourself a multicoloured scarf and wand of knock spells.

Not a bad idea, but if I recall correctly you need at least a modifier of at least +40 to your awesome checks to qualify.

[Weirdlet]

Doctor Who?

Hm- it's like Howl's Moving Castle, almost. Trophy hall? Still-room for brewing healing potions- or some sort of healing-shrine? Shrine or sanctified place in general for the clericy sorts?

[Steelwraith]

Forget the fortress, houses, and flying ships... buy a title. Nothing better than having the rest of the party calling you M'Lord... :P

[thehothead]

How exactly do you go about "buying" a title?

[Emperor Tippy]

How exactly do you go about "buying" a title?

You give the king/ruler money for the title. 20K would prolly make you a duke.

[thehothead]

Wouldn't that be more accurate as bribery?