Sexist DM Update

[chiX0r]

Soo...the last thread got locked, but a lot of people have expressed intrest in how things turn out. The mods said it was okay to fill you guys in, so here's what happened:

I talked to a few of the other guys in the group and they agreed that sexism in game was a little much, so I talked to Bob before the Magic tournament a couple week sago and basically told him I thougt the game was good, except that I kind of felt like the gender bias in the game was a little to strong and made playing a female character inordinately difficult. I made the suggestion that if he wanted to keep the setting like it was, maybe there could be some way to surmount the bias or that there could be some kind of trade off that would let my character grab a couple minutes in the spotlight once in awhile, too.

Bob basically said that before he played with us, he had always played in all-guy groups that all played male characters so he had never had to deal with a female PC (or a female player) and just didn't take that into account when he made up the setting. So, it's not that Bob isn't cool with women or was being twit, he just wasn't used to having to deal with the issue at all. So, we talked a bit more and he promised to lighten up a little bit, and then we trounced some college kids at Magic to seal the deal and went home. Since then the sessions have been much improved and all is again right in the world.

So, yeah, that was what happened. Sorry to disappoint any of you who were hoping for fireworks.

[JEntropy]

I think this will fit into most people's best-case-scenario.

Except the mobs with pitchforks and torches

I'm glad you got it fixed, anyway. Good communication does wonders.

[Stephen_E]

Thanks for the update.
Glad to see everything worked out ok.

I guess it's the old adage that 9 times in 10 it's human thickheadedness rather than maliciousness.

Stephen

[SoulCatcher78]

3 cheers for rational adult behavior!!! Glad that this had a peaceful resolution for you.

[Tormsskull]

Wow. I'm shocked. Bob didn't turn out to be a female-bashing "typical male" like some posters thought. Hopefully we won't have to listen to anymore "You don't know what its like being a woman and always being discriminated against" blah blah.

chiX0r, congratulations on handling the situation really well, and I am glad that everything turned out swell. Good luck in that campaign!

[Kaelaroth]

Man... I wanted fireworks...

Oh well. I'm glad it turned out OK, and you didn't have to go with my red leather and poison suggestions.

[Nevar]

good to hear things turned out. Though to be honest even if we were expecting fireworks, we knew talking it out would settle the matter.

[Swooper]

Hooray, a happy ending!

[Jimbob]

Glad you sorted it all out

[Tyger]

Excellent news. Three cheers for rational, adult debate and discussion!

[Ethdred]

Excellent news. Three cheers for rational, adult debate and discussion!

and trouncing college kids at Magic :)

[Diggorian]

Still sounds like a cop out to me, but I'm glad things are changing for the better. Good gaming, Chixor.

[Dausuul]

So, yeah, that was what happened. Sorry to disappoint any of you who were hoping for fireworks.

Glad to hear things worked out! Fireworks are a dime a dozen, happy endings harder to come by.

[NerfTW]

How on earth is realizing your errors a "copout"?

He apoligized, she accepted. What should she have done, demanded a parade?

[Diggorian]

How on earth is realizing your errors a "copout"?

Bob basically said that before he played with us, he had always played in all-guy groups that all played male characters so he had never had to deal with a female PC (or a female player) and just didn't take that into account when he made up the setting. So, it's not that Bob isn't cool with women or was being twit, he just wasn't used to having to deal with the issue at all.

It's obvious, atleast to me, that limiting a player's choices for the character sex they choose is unfair from the begining.

I've never run a Cowboys & Indians game for Native American players, but I'd know to discuss certain issues about it beforehand. Maybe because I've had similar issues.

Still, if it's resolved it's resolved. Maybe he was sincere, I dont know Bob.

[mudbunny]

It's obvious, atleast to me, that limiting a player's choices for the character sex they choose is unfair from the begining.

I've never run a Cowboys & Indians game for Native American players, but I'd know to discuss certain issues about it beforehand. Maybe because I've had similar issues.

Still, if it's resolved it's resolved. Maybe he was sincere, I dont know Bob.

Bob is a teenage boy.

Being clueless comes as part of the package

[Diggorian]

Well he can learn from this hopefully.

Fine. Chixor forgives him, all is well.

[Starsinger]

It's so lovely when things come together like this and it all turns out to be just one big misunderstanding.

[Breaon]

That's a great resolution to the issue, and it's encouraging to see that you and your group were willing to talk with the DM, and that he was willing to listen and adjust things for all of you. Congrats on the Magic tourney, too!

[Matthew]

Yeah, we don't get enough of these successful update type Threads. Mostly a bunch of advice gets given and we never hear how it all turned out. Nice to have some closure.

[Aquillion]

I think you should kill him and hollow out his skull to use as a chalice.

[Dervag]

Glad it worked out.

Bob is a teenage boy.

Being clueless comes as part of the package

Although this incident was a little more clueless than the norm, even among teenage boys.

[tainsouvra]

I guess it's the old adage that 9 times in 10 it's human thickheadedness rather than maliciousness.

Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

[JackMage666]

Told you I didn't think he was just a sexist bastard who deserved to be castrated and forcibly placed on a pike.

Teenage guys just get all flabbergasted around girls sometimes, is all.

[Neek]

It's refreshing to see a situation resolved by simply sitting down and talking, and having things work out for the better.

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

I was hoping to see a swordfight...

[warmachine]

Still don't think he's got the maturity to be a DM. AD&D is a game first and a work of art second. As soon he quoted the in-game restrictions on women, it should have been obvious to him that a female PC would be no fun to play. If he wasn't prepared to break artistic integrity, he could have told you that female PCs are non-starters and that you'll just have to play a male. He may be too fixated on his campaign world to see the other aspects of the game. You are sure he's not going to railroad?

[ZeroNumerous]

I think you should kill him and hollow out his skull to use as a chalice.

A skull-chalice does do wonders for the decor.

[Advance Strat..]

Great to hear that it actually ended well! Does seem a little odd that he didn't notice he was going overboard on it, but at least he realized and was willing to admit that he messed up and would try to fix it. That's more then I can say for a good amount of people around where I live sadly.

Hope things stay that way for you guys now! And just because I'm a curious little bugger, what did he change in his campaign to make it better? Certain bonuses, a sudden reversal of most of the characters attitudes, moving to a new town? Doesn't really mean too much I guess, I'm just curious as to how he fixed it.

[Corolinth]

Foolishness is always so obvious and easy to spot when it's someone else who's the fool.

But I'm glad to hear it worked out, that you didn't have to sacrifice the sexist pig's testicles to the goddess Diana, and that everybody's having a good time.