1001 Crazy Cohorts

[TheWarBlade]

Often mistreated, foregotten and killed cohorts still hold a special place in my heart.

1. A halfling chef
2. An Oathbound dwarf
3. The mule.
4. That bard who wont take a hint
5. PC's brother

[mostlyharmful]

6. the ships boy,
7. the ships boy maning a HUGE crossbow
8. the ships boy taking on six pirates simulatiously
9. Any teenager who takes on pirate gallleyeis with greek fire and billhooks while still being an NPC

[Glyphic]

10: Carrion, the carrion crawler that was following the party (apparently we kept it well fed)

[tahu88810]

11. The LE half-orc fallen paladin. (he was fun, every time he saw a good cleric/paladin he would scream 'RAWR ME SMASH' and rush 'em nomatter what anybody did to stop them...he hated them, so...)

[SurlySeraph]

12. The awakened squirrel druid. Everyone should at some point be in a game involving an awakened squirrel.
13. The delusional CN fighter who thinks he would make a good paladin.
14. The warforged cleric named Healbot.

[Mike_Lemmer]

15. The psychologist interrogator. Left our enemies crying using only words. Spent downtime telling us precisely how crazy we are.

[TheWarBlade]

16. The monk with Vow of Poverty, telling us just how greedy we are.

[Jack_Banzai]

17. The goblin who will do pretty much anything (within reason) for 10 gold pieces.

18. The elven fighter, Fondle, who will drop out of the air (or appear in one's bag of holding) to help in difficult fights when in an undersized party.

19. Sir Prance-A-Lot, mighty paladin who wields his longsword, Longest, and sometimes a +1 longsword, Longer than Longest.

20. Sir Van de Kamper, who will dive out of a crow's nest for no particular reason at any opportunity.

21. Farmer Bob, an ordinary farmer who is given a +5 longsword and made to adventure by a party of 20th level plus characters.

[JackMage666]

22. The awaken rat Beguiler

23. The drunken dwarf X (it doesn't matter what he does)

24. Any Extraplanar creature, who doesn't know what's going on.

[AngryRussian16]

25. Sir Vivor, the knight who hates jokes about his name

26. Random Scarred Barkeep, the tavern owner with a massive burn scar from when a PC's idiot shows up

[nows7]

27) Awakened Gelatanous Ooze Bard - Max ranks in Preform (Jiggle)

[Drider]

28. a family of thri-kreen fighters (variant:thug) who drive around in pimped out cars, and shoot monsters

[Driderman]

29: A complete and fully equipped NPC adventuring party

30: A group of drunken dwarven bards. Their music sounds horrible, but is oddly catchy. They call it 'rock'.

[Saurous]

31. Awakened Badger Rogue. Please tell me something funnier than having your wallet stolen by a sentient badger.

[Deme]

32. the zealous cleric who's convinced the celestial wizard is a sign from above, despite the fact that he was a normal wizard who got reincarnated as a celestial.

33. the young male druid who develops a secret crush on the male ranger, and gets his nose broken by the party barbarian every time his nose heals.

[goat]

31. Awakened Badger Rogue. Please tell me something funnier than having your wallet stolen by a sentient badger.

Badgers should always be Barbarians.

They should be highly charismatic, so that everyone thinks they're cute and fluffy, and then they should suddenly change (when raging) and rip a throat out.

[DSCrankshaw]

Badgers should always be Barbarians.

They should be highly charismatic, so that everyone thinks they're cute and fluffy, and then they should suddenly change (when raging) and rip a throat out.

Badger's don't need levels of barbarian to rage. They get it as a special ability.

[Superglucose]

34) The Paladin's cohort paladin who had a cohort paladin who had a cohort paladin... etc. etc. I don't know why my DM let me do this, but showing up with half a dozen paladins and their mounts sure was fun!

[PlatinumJester]

35) The elf ranger whose parents were (wait for it) KILLED by orcs/drow/chickens and he is off trying to avenge them.

36) The greatsword wielding catfolk duelist.

37) The level 1 monk who thinks he should be the party's main melee combatant.

38) The undead Totemist without a Constitution score.

[Ivius]

31. Awakened Badger Rogue. Please tell me something funnier than having your wallet stolen by a sentient badger.

Having it stolen by two sentient badgers.

[Bagera]

39.The thrall herd with smaller thrall herds as his thralls which he refers to as his batteries.

40.The Living Prestidigitation

41.The Ghost of my last character.

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

40.The Living Prestidigitation

I gave one of these to my party's wizard as a familiar.

42. A wiley, loudmouthed intelligent sword that no one ever believes is a sword, but in fact a clever use of ventrliquism.

[Xuincherguixe]

43 Runs with Traffic, a Dog Shaman.
44 Talks with self, Shaman of as of yet unspecified Totem.
45 Orc Barbarian with a Death Wish, who fights with just a rusty spoon.

[mockingbyrd7]

I've never heard of awakened, but I assume it's a sentient animal with class levels?

If that's the case...

46. Awakened Cat Swashbuckler named Puss In Boots

[Akennedy]

47. A Human Rogue/fighter whom always carries a greatsword and reappears in all campaigns offering free cure light potions; also owner of Joe's Jumbo Jungle of Junk

[Siric]

48. Frogo, the drug addicted mage, who was also an Alchemist.

[Dareon]

49: A Factotum/Master of Masks that imitates all the previous (and following, in case you want to get silly) ideas.

[Eldan]

50. The midget version of the Lawful Evil party wizard.

[Pauwel]

51. The friendly ogre that dreams only of baking a pie the size of a galleon.
He was only really funny because he was the cohort of the party's Bard, who refused to play anything but the piano, and made the ogre carry him and the piano on his back all the time.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

52. The kite eating tree
53. Animated pajamas
54. Stephen Hawkings
55. Meatloaf with 10 ranks in Perform (sing)
56. Tangled christmas lights golem
57. Smoky the Bugbear
58. Were-boar that can only speak in pig-latin
59. Swarm of beanie babies
60. Typhoid