Strange curses and blessings

[Fuum Bango]

The strange curses and blessings of the peculiar arch-wizard!
Though I’m not sure which are which…

A little something to annoy your players with if they anger a demon or god or whatever they shouldn't be cheeky towards.

1. You become immortal, but you slowly forget all the things you’ve learned up to this point.
2. Every night you appearance changes to that of a zombie.
3. Rain follows you as you walk, if you run it becomes a lightening storm.
4. You are turned invisible, but you can be seen in mirrors and reflective metal.
5. You are now mute; however you can now understand any language.
6. Your skin becomes pallid, your hair silver and glows in candle light and your eyes sinister and profound. You gain a level in Wizard.
7. Illusionary insects plague you the rest of your life, they appear at inappropriate times, such as during a feast.
8. You can cure any injury by touching the injured person, but you gain the injury in return.
9. Your body becomes elastic-like; you can reach objects and foes 40ft ahead of you. You are also immune to blunt damage.
10. You can transform into a deer at will, however other deer will fear you.
11. You can transform into a swan at will, however other swans will fear you.
12. You can transform into a seal at will, however other seals will fear you.
13. You can transform into a swordfish at will, however other swordfishes will fear you.
14. You can transform into an orangutan at will, however other orangutans will fear you.
15. You can transform into a moth at will, however other moths will fear you.
16. You can transform into an elephant at will, however other elephants will fear you.
17. You can transform into a badger at will, however other badgers will fear you.
18. You gain an incredible intellect, but lose your emotions. You become a neutral aliment.
19. Whenever you show hatred or envy of another person, black hounds attack said person ceaselessly for a night.
20. Every new moon your wounds are healed.
21. Every dawn and dusk, a pixie appears to talk with you, it is of the opposing alignment to you.
22. You can transform into a goblin at will, strangely other goblins find you very attractive. If you are already a goblin, roll again.
23. You can transform into a dwarf at will, strangely other dwarves will think you are a dishonourable member of their family. If you are already a dwarf, roll again.
24. You can transform into an elf at will, strangely other elves think you have just overcome a tragedy and offer you aid. If you are already an elf, roll again.
35. You can transform into an orc at will, strangely other orcs will think you are the chief of an opposing clan, they act accordingly. If you are already an orc, roll again.
36. You can transform into a storm giant at will, strangely other storm giants will laugh at your presence. If you are already a storm giant, roll again you munchkin.
37. Your arms become covered in tiny gleaming scales and you can only breathe while in water.
38. Your skin becomes bright and healthy, your hair and eyes change to a brighter, glimmering colour such as pink or yellow. You gain the Fey sub-type.
39. A person with similier features and skills begins to dirt your good name.
40. You are followed by a small, thin hanged man who appears whenever you do wrong and chides you for it.

Man, I could go on and on. Heh, join in?

Edited for spelling.

[Bryn]

Um, you skipped numbers 25-34...

Anyway...

31. You become absolutely convinced that you are a werewolf, and act like one every full moon. You do not actually transform, however.
32. Massive gusts of wind start if you ever leave the ground, whether jumping, levitating, or flying. As soon as you touch the ground/wall/other surface again they stop.
33. You have the power to control the weather directly above your head.
34. A penguin follows you around, appearing out of nowhere. Nothing you do will rid you of the penguin: it heals any wound, escapes from any container, and can travel through any environment.
35. You become invisible to a randomly determined creature type. The type changes every day.

[Fuum Bango]

What?!
They must of been deleted somehow. Oh never mind, its only for fun.

[F.L.]

36. You can transform into a medium dire animal at will. Transforming back, on the other hand...

[AslanCross]

1. You gain the ability to count raindrops during thunderstorms, and only thunderstorms.
2. Your mind understands the mysteries of the universe, but you forget them forever whenever you try to explain them.
3. Any ground that your feet touch becomes instantly greasy.
4. You can pop off your teeth with ease. They become marbles of ivory afterwards.
5. Any liquid you touch immediately turns into cottage cheese. This includes your sweat.

[Stormcrow]

*shudders* at the though of sweating cottage cheese...

50. Your hair grows to waist length and become prehensile but not under your control. If your hair is allready waistlength it becomes ankle length.

[Hectonkhyres]

51. Some god the party barbarian has suitably peeved has decreed that his only form of locomotion is skipping. He may or may not realize this, thinking nothing is amiss. He may well butcher anyone dumb enough to laugh, however.
52. You gain the ability to understand vermin... and they instinctually realize this. They won't leave you alone! Always are they begging for table scraps, telling you that they will go away if only you give them your plate. They show up in your room at night. Even your own lice are talking to you. In the name of all the pantheons, shut up!
53. Every time you get really-really drunk, you end up in a bed you wish you hadn't. This may be magically induced or just the result of terrible judgement. Coyote ugly doesn't have jack on this.
54. The barbarian is forced to do something REALLY strange everytime he hits berserk status. Singing, lymricks(sp?), threatening to rape the brains out of the enemy orcish chieftan (and possiby doing so if he is still berserk at the end of battle), whatever.
55. You attract one kender cohort. That. Will. Never. Leave. *twitch*
56. A one time spell directed at you that causes explosive defacation in the middle of battle.

[PhallicWarrior]

52. You gain a randomly determined cohort with no equipment except a red Starfleet uniform. Regardless of level, the cohort never directly affects a battle, instead dieing to prove how dangerous the situation is.

[Hectonkhyres]

52. You gain a randomly determined cohort with no equipment except a red Starfleet uniform. Regardless of level, the cohort never directly affects a battle, instead dieing to prove how dangerous the situation is.

In the right setting, that could be immensely useful.
Is the redshirt replaced after each death and does each death increase the penalty to getting other cohorts? After all, in the series, no amount of redshirt corpses ever seemed to stop somebody from joining starfleet.

[Belteshazzar]

58. If your eyes have pupils, the pupil expands to fill the whole eye, you gain the ability of psionic suggestion at will as a gaze attack.

59. Your sweat is acidic leading to extra damage during grapples and unarmed attacks but steady damage to armor, clothes, or wielded weapons.

60. You are slowly but completely forgotten by all without daily constant contact from you.

61. You are afflicted with constant true seeing and are unable to see illusions. However, you loose temporary 1d6 Wis a week from seeing what aught not be seen.

[my_evil_twin]

62. You are locked away in a place sacred to the deity, invisible to others, and spend a year in suspended animation, observing what transpires there. (For example, offending Fharlanghn could get you trapped face up beneath a crossroads, watching the people come and go.)

63. Your hands become made of gold and encrusted with gems. You may remove them and sell them. People will constantly recognize the hands as valuable and make increasingly lucrative offers to buy them. Once sold, the hands cannot be replaced by any means except by buying them back for much more than you were paid for them. The new owners will be loath to give them up for anything but a tremendous profit.

64. You cannot sleep unless you are touching the ground.

65. Any wound that you would receive is done to your closest friend instead.

[bugsysservant]

66. You can see clearly one week into the future, but forget anything older than a week in the past.

67. Any weapon you touch immediately turns into the favored weapon of the deity you angered. After you cease contact, it reverts to its original form.

68. Small plants grow in your footsteps and your touch causes preexisting plants to grow to three times there current size within a minute. Plant creatures are unaffected, though they will always act friendly to you unless attacked.

69. You are stipped of your sight, but gain a continuous foresight effect, the ability to cast divination at will and three times per day you can cast vision (without paying the XP cost). However, no one will believe your prophecies.

[Bitzeralisis]

70. Gain +10 natural armor and +4 constitution. However, your skin becomes so tough and hard to move that you can only move by taking a full-round action and moving 5 feet.

71. Become so unreal that nothing affects you, and you affect nothing.

72. Become all-knowing. You must shout out everything you know at all times. No silence effect will affect this effect.

73. Lose all spellcasting levels and gain as many levels as you lost in non-spellcasting classes. Lose all non-spellcasting levels and gain as many levels as you lost in spellcasting classes.

[Gaelbert]

74. Your pupils change into hourglass shapes. You now see all living things age and die as you gaze at them. They do not actually die, it just looks like it to you.

[Krrth]

74b You then fall in love with the next elven maiden you see....

[Belteshazzar]

That one sounds ... familiar.

75. You become strangely magnetic. Ferrous weapons gain +3 to hit you, but electrical attacks may be redirected through your body without damage.

76. You turn to stone in the daylight but are released from it in darkness.

77. Neutral Buoyancy, your body has no effective weight and you are forced to rely on equipment or armor as ballast or be rocketed into the sky with a step.

[Telonius]

One of the most terrifying blessings/curses I've ever heard:
"May you have an interesting life."

[Arbitrarity]

Wasn't it "May you live in interesting times"?

78: Meta-curse: You view everything as existing inside the minds of vast, alien beings.

[Everyman]

79) Any food you try to eat will turn to ash if not first blessed by a proper priest.
80) You can fall from any height without harm. However, if you fall more than 100 feet, you must make a Fortitude save or be stunned from the impact of the fall.
81) Spiders (of all sizes) like you and will bring you "treats" and "presents".
82) It burns when you pee...literally.
83) You can't cross running water except during the day.
84) You are male during the day and female at night.

[Hectonkhyres]

One of the most terrifying blessings/curses I've ever heard:
"May you have an interesting life."

If you don't have that particular one in your belt, there is no point in continuing to draw breath... either in D&d or in real life.

[PhallicWarrior]

80: Any food you eat turns to ash and any fluid you try to drink turns to blood. You no longer need to sleep and gain immunity to sleep effects as per elves.
81: You become a random form of lycanthrope. This isn't limited to the standard choices, you can become a were-anything.

[Lavin]

32. Massive gusts of wind start if you ever leave the ground, whether jumping, levitating, or flying. As soon as you touch the ground/wall/other surface again they stop.

Ooooo... with the proper equipment that could be fun. For example; a really big and billowy cape, with sleeves and legs sewn in. Just put your limbs through their respective locales, and then...jump really high. For added distance, a ring of jumping might be used. You will go flying several yards at a time. If the wind always comes from behind, it would give you an advantage at closing in on enemies at long distance.

By the way, that is an actual sport. People get big and billowy kites, special made for the sport, go to windy beaches (the windier the better), get the kites up, and jump. The wind carries them down the beach at high speeds. It is called wind surfing, I think.

Anyways, I just got off topic, many apologies. Just had to interject my random thoughts...

[BardicDuelist]

84) You are male during the day and female at night.

I really like that one.

[Xuincherguixe]

You are able to relate everything to frogs, and can only understand things in such ways.

[ronnyfire]

every girl you see, looks like your father.


every word you speak offends those around you.


you can sacrafice a limb at any time to become immune to physical damage for an hour. limbs lost in this way cannot be regenerated in any way.


you are not able to eat food, but dont need to eat.. alltho this does not make you not hungry

[Everyman]

I really like that one.

Thank you.

Since people haven't been labelling, I'll try and put us back on track.
92) Your reflection in the mirror always displays a different emotion than you are showing.

93) It is impossible for any weapon that you wield to do lethal harm to a living creature (always does non-lethal damage). However, undead and constructs take 50% more damage than normal.

94) No matter what tavern or bar your enter, someone will have heard of you and buy you a round.

95) No matter what tavern or bar you enter, someone will have heard of you and try and have you arrested.

96) At midnight, every night, you turn to stone for three hours. Upon reverting back to flesh and blood, you are treated as if you had rested for eight hours.

97) Your eyes turn milk white. You can see and speak with the spirits of the recently dead, for up to 1 minute after they are slain.

98) No horse will allow you to ride it.

99) Your body develops rough, grainy texture and you no longer need to eat or sleep as long as you get 8 hours of sunlight per day. However, you are vulnerable to fire (50% more damage)

100) You can not place one foot on hallowed grounds of any sort, be it a church, chapel or graveyard, without bursting into flames.

[Assasinater]

101. You develop an obsession with round numbers.

Plus, anything that you encounter seems to involve round numbers. For example, if you're ambushed by 7 orcs, you can be sure that 3 more are in that bush.

[The Glyphstone]

102. You gain the ability to cast Air Breathing (like Water Breathing, only the other way around) on any creature you touch. However, fresh or salt water (including that on the skin of such a creature) now burns you like molten lava, dealing 2d6 damage per round of touch, or 20d6 per round for full immersion.

[SITB]

102. You gain the ability to cast Air Breathing (like Water Breathing, only the other way around) on any creature you touch. However, fresh or salt water (including that on the skin of such a creature) now burns you like molten lava, dealing 2d6 damage per round of touch, or 20d6 per round for full immersion.

Corollary: And upon contract with water you have to shout: "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeelting!!"

[Everyman]

103) You find it impossible to look directly at a member of the opposite gender without making a Will Save (DC 5 + their HD). If you fail the save, they are treated as having total partial concealment.

104) You can smell precious minerals and gems as readily as one could smell freshly roasted meats. The more rare and valuable the mineral or gem, the more satisfying the aroma.

105) One of your arms turns into living stone. Oddly enough, it has no effect on your manual dexterity, and grants you a +1 shield bonus if you use the arm to block blows. Any unarmed strike with that arm automatically deals lethal damage. Spells that effect stone or earth have no ill effect on your arm, but instead render you slowed.