Amusing Magical Items

[Iku Rex]

Upon looking through the collection of "invisible" tagged pics at ICHC I got a couple of ideas for goggles.

Goggles of invisibility

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These goggles are opaque and render the wearer effectively blind. However, as long as they are worn the wearer believes that he is invisible and nothing can change this belief until the goggles are removed.

Faint enchantment; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, suggestion; Price 1,000 gp.

Goggles of unsee visible

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A pair of goggles of unsee visible makes all creatures and objects smaller than Colossal invisible to the wearer. This has no effect on anyone not wearing the goggles.

Faint illusion; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, silent image; Price 500 gp.

[Logic]

Backpack of Useful but Innopportune Items
Any mundane tool measuring less than 3 feet in length and capable of fitting through the opening in the bag (roughly 2 foot diameter circle) is contained in this brown sheepskin bag. The best tool for any job is never selected when the user attempt to retrieve one from the bag, instead, one that can accomplish the task through creative use will be pulled out. Occasionally a tool will pop out at the wrong moment (such as when talking to the city watch about lockpicks, and a set of masterworks theives tools falls out of the bag.)

(I am new to creating magic items, so the game statisic stuff will be up to you, the reader.)

[Arameus]

Sweet! This is so worth the 1,000 gp of revivify. It is only upon donning it afterall - I just need to make sure I'm around a really good cleric or favored soul friend.

Finally, a use for Regenerate! First you need to use Regenerate to reattach your head, then Raise Dead to bring you back to life. As long as you keep the helmet on all the time, you get the benefits!

The best part is, it's cursed! You don't even need to worry about it being removed!

Precisely. It could be useful, but really, how many people that happen upon this thing aren't going to at least slip it on first off? You could possibly make use of it, and even lift the curse, but the curse is very powerful and making use of it without removing the curse is... complicated, as you can see. Would you, or even your character, really want to do this? And this assumes that the curse is even known; it's most likely that the helmet is just slipped on with a world of possibilities in mind and cuts off the poor idiot's head.

Truth be told, I don't know much about the minutia of all this; I really just know a few D&D phrases and a little about the system. Which is probably true of most players, from what I hear *zing!*. But even so, imagine if it was just something your party found in a wizard's tower somewhere. Or, more likely, on the severed head of a former adventurer. Yeah, unless you're higher level or really suspicious, you'll be short a tank or cleric at least temporarily.

It's also a blast at parties!

[Inyssius Tor]

Or you could play a Lumi!

EDIT: And more likely, you would find it on a decapitated adventurer atop a big pile of decapitated adventurers.

[Prince_of_Blades]

Gold Piece of Multiplication
Upon pressing on this coin as a standard action, it expends the magic it possesses and creates three mundane gold pieces that look identical to the original piece.

Faint Universal; CL 1; Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation; Price: 10 gp

[DaMullet]

Dagger of Healing

This +1 Merciful Throwing Dagger has the additional effect of casting Cure Minor Wounds on the target.
*I don't know about the beans, and I don't care too much."

Stick
This item is brown and sticky.

[PlasticSoldier]

Shroedinger's Cat

Looks and acts like a normal cat but if the owner ever looks away it turns greater invisible and appears dead to all but the owner (who can't see it) the invisibility and deadness can only be reversed by putting it in a box.

Faint Illusion CL 10 50 gp

[Paragon Badger]

Baby of Wonder

Babies are well known and loved by many people. They are less well known and less well loved by adventurers. In fact, they are well feared comedic devices inflicted upon unsuspecting adventurers by tyrannical DMs. Many consider them cursed items, while others consider them treasures.

Any adventuring party possessing a Baby of Wonder does not sleep well. The baby's inconsolable cries keep everyone up at night. The party begins every day fatigued and arcane casters do not rest well enough to regain spells.

In addition to giving a party sleepless nights, the baby produces random effects each round during combat and social encounters.

On a d10:

1. Nothing
2. Stinking cloud
3. Sound burst
4. Touch of idiocy
5. Glossolalia
6. Confusion
7. Hypnotic pattern
8. Daze monster
9. Enthrall
10. Roll twice (rerolling this result)

All results effect random targets or directions. Area of Effects are always centered on the Baby of Wonder. All effects are considered to have a caster level of six, and the effects have a save DC of Spell Level + 14. These effects are not actually magical.

The party can rest for eight hours by use of the lullaby cantrip, which places the baby into a deep slumber. The baby can be "disabled" for one minute per level by use of the calm emotions spell.

Cost: Priceless

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If only I could claim credit for this:

http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Baby_of...D_Equipment%29

[Inyssius Tor]

Fish
....This exotic special material is mined in bodies of water; fish weapons and armor are covered in scales, filled with meat and small bones, and adorned with eyes, fins, and generally a single mouth.

Any item made fish gains a +2 bonus on any Charisma-based roll made to influence creatures with the (Aquatic) subtype, and also gains a 30 ft. swim speed. Weapons and armor made fish cost a quarter again as much to make as their normal counterparts. Any magical enhancements added to a fish item cost an additional 95 gp.

Fish has between 1 and 8 hit points per HD and hardness 2. (Light weapons have 1/4 HD, one-handed weapons and light armor have 1/2 HD, two-handed weapons and medium armor have 1 HD, and heavy armor has 2 HD.)

[Xuincherguixe]

Empty Box of existentialism

This appears to be an ordinary box, but if one attempts to look at it in detail they must make a Will 25 check. If they fail they begin to question their own existence. Every hour for the next four hours they must make a Will 30 check. If any of these fail the character ceases to exist, and cannot be brought back from the dead. A wish or miracle may bring them back, as these spells alter reality.

This item is considered cursed.

(Probably should be an artifact too.)

[dr.cello]

Housebreaking Harness
Used for housebreaking pets. If a pet attempts to defecate or urinate and the wearer is aware of it, instantly teleports the pet to a litter box/outside (wearer's choice).

Xuincherguixe: House of leaves for the win!

[Xuincherguixe]

I actually haven't read it. A friend of mine got a copy of it that some time I'm going to have to give a stab at.

I think I did something similar to this item before and another poster made a comment about a house. So now it's going to be one of my many running jokes. (I have a lot of them. Most make no sense even with context.)

[JadedDM]

Actually I found them useful once. The first fight with Ultros.

The joke was that Dark was actually useless. Due to a glitch in the original game, it didn't actually do anything. It was supposed to lower your accuracy, but it did not. So since the only thing Goggles were good for was protecting you from Dark, they were worthless.

[Wraithy]

"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

a tasty solution to all of your poison gas problems, this should be an armour property too.

[Reinboom]

Planar Prank Jug of Water
A rather refreshing looking glass jug of water that, no matter how much is tipped out, refills instantaneously. When tipping the jug, the circular opening at the top opens a small planar shift for the water that empties it out into a random plane. If the side of the jug is to be penetrated in any way, all magic from the jug is suppressed until the jug is repaired. The opening at the top prevents all entrance via magical means.
Whenever water is emptied from the jug and thus into a plane with intelligent creatures, the water will spill out onto the head (or equivalent) of one of these creatures and a short viewing of the event will be projecter into the holder of the jug's mind. If the creature of which the water spills on has a means of reaching the holder's plane of existence or otherwise meeting the holder, the base reaction will be that of unfriendly. Creatures with the fire subtype are always hostile. Creatures with the water subtype are always friendly and bare a 25% chance of becoming attracted to who used the jug.
The creation of the jug involves careful retracing of a summoning spell and thus a DC 17 spellcraft check. An additional 200 gp of resources must be expended and another day of crafting must be used for each spellcraft failed spellcraft check in this manner.
Faint Conjuration aura, Moderate Divination aura; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Scrying, Create Water, any spell with the summoning subtype; Price: 14,000 gp.

[Nebnezz]

Fax, was your first a simpsons reference? cause thats the first thing i thought of...

"De Goggles...DAY DO NOTHING!!!"

sorry if someone point this out already, i kinda skimmed most of these and didnt see it.

[Kurald Galain]

Ring of Invisibility

When worn, this ring confers invisibility to itself.

[13_CBS]

Pseudo-Spice

This brown, dust-like substance smells like cinammon to you, except a bit more. Not too much more, bit a bit more. But eat it quickly! For the spice must flow.

When consumed, the Pseudo-Spice grants the eater the ability to spout ominous quotes from the novel Dune. He may do this once per round as a free action.

As a side effect, the eater's eyes gain a shiny blue color. They do not grant any abilities or give off extra, useful light.

[its_all_ogre]

ring of striking: this magical ring is renowned for enabling poor warriors to fight extremely effectively.

anyone within 100 ft of the wearer of this ring gets +10 attack bonus as an un-named bonus, the wearer gets a +5 bonus.
cursed item

[Golthur]

Portable Cup
This 3-inch diameter circular piece of cloth, like the portable hole, opens up into an extradimensional space when spread on any surface. However, the space opened into is sufficient to hold approximately one cup of material. When the cloth is picked up or folded up, the entrance to the space vanishes.

[Citizen Joe]

Gold Piece of Multiplication
Upon pressing on this coin as a standard action, it expends the magic it possesses and creates three mundane gold pieces that look identical to the original piece.

Faint Universal; CL 1; Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation; Price: 10 gp

Ironically, this can be abused a bit. The price is 10 gp, but the material cost is only half of that... i.e. 5 gp.

Now you will be soaking alot of time to make these and it will net a 40% loss, however it does allow you to carry three times the normal amount of gold coins.

I'm not quite sure quite how, but I'm sure it could be used in a con game some how.

[Telonius]

Zeno's Turtle

This small green statue of a turtle seems unobtrusive, but is a boon to cowards. A character may activate it by challenging a target creature to a race as an immediate action (Mind-affecting, language-dependent). As part of the immediate action, the character takes a five foot step. The character must take off running in the next round. The target creature is unable to pursue the character, since it believes that in order to overtake the character, it must first get halfway to where the character was when they started. But in order to get there, the target has to get halfway to the halfway point ... This effect is broken when the character stops running.

[Gralamin]

Ironically, this can be abused a bit. The price is 10 gp, but the material cost is only half of that... i.e. 5 gp.

Now you will be soaking alot of time to make these and it will net a 40% loss, however it does allow you to carry three times the normal amount of gold coins.

I'm not quite sure quite how, but I'm sure it could be used in a con game some how.

With the Extraordinary Artificer, You can make it for 3 gold, 7 sp, 5 copper pieces. That makes your net gain 2 sp, 5 copper pieces for each one you make.

At level 3, when you can take this feat, lets assume you had half your wealth in gold (About 1350 gp)
1350/3.75 = 360 coins
360*4 = 1440 gp.
Net gain so far: 90 gp.
Not only did this take you about a day and a third to craft to get 90 gp, but it takes you a standard action to activate each of them. There is 6 seconds in a round, and you may make 1 standard action each round, that means this takes 2160 seconds to split, or 36 minutes.

Further amounts may be extrapolated with the recursive definition:
X_T=(X_T-1/3.75)(4)

[Wolf_Shade]

Tunic of Wonder
The wearer gives off a magical aura as if they were a wonderous item.

[Citizen Joe]

With the Extraordinary Artificer, You can make it for 3 gold, 7 sp, 5 copper pieces. That makes your net gain 2 sp, 5 copper pieces for each one you make.

At level 3, when you can take this feat, lets assume you had half your wealth in gold (About 1350 gp)
1350/3.75 = 360 coins
360*4 = 1440 gp.
Net gain so far: 90 gp.
Not only did this take you about a day and a third to craft to get 90 gp, but it takes you a standard action to activate each of them. There is 6 seconds in a round, and you may make 1 standard action each round, that means this takes 2160 seconds to split, or 36 minutes.

Further amounts may be extrapolated with the recursive definition:
X_T=(X_T-1/3.75)(4)

I had forgotten that you could use the expended coin as a regular coin. Note that you are restricted to 1000 gp value per day to craft items. So that limits you to 100 coins per day so 25 gp profit per day. You're also spending 40 XP per day to do it.

[slexlollar89]

sword of slashing:

this cursed +1 longsword gives the weilder a -1 on all attack and dmg rolls made with the weapon. in addition, it deals slashing damage.

moderate transmutation, keen edge, CL 3

[Damage Control]

"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

Regenerating Donut Armor
This suit of armor is a delicious pastry that repels anything that would affect the taste negatively (DR 15/powdered sugar). Regular clothing can not be worn under this armor, because adventurers do not wash their clothes enough. Seriously, ew.

Such magical deliciousness brought in such close proximity to the wearer is almost too much to bear. Each time the damage reducing effect of this armor is used/every hour since the wearer's last encounter, the wearer must make Fortitude, Reflex, and Will saves (DC 15) to avoid taking bites. Each failed save takes a bite off the donut, reducing the damage reduction by one. When the damage reduction is reduced to 0, the armor is destroyed for 24 hours, leaving the wearer naked for everyone to laugh at, assuming they weren't laughing at him for wearing a donut in the first place. Upon regeneration, the armor reappears on the wearer if they are naked; otherwise, it floats in front of him mysteriously until he takes a bite or puts it on.

[Delaney Gale]

My best friend in high school had innumerable 2nd edition books, including a sort of magic item compendium. I remember this one to this day.

Omelet of the Planes
A rather tasteless omelet that comes in a white styrofoam container. Although filling, anyone who eats it is nauseated.

[Volug]

Regenerating Donut Armor
This suit of armor is a delicious pastry that repels anything that would affect the taste negatively (DR 15/powdered sugar). Regular clothing can not be worn under this armor, because adventurers do not wash their clothes enough. Seriously, ew.

Such magical deliciousness brought in such close proximity to the wearer is almost too much to bear. Each time the damage reducing effect of this armor is used/every hour since the wearer's last encounter, the wearer must make Fortitude, Reflex, and Will saves (DC 15) to avoid taking bites. Each failed save takes a bite off the donut, reducing the damage reduction by one. When the damage reduction is reduced to 0, the armor is destroyed for 24 hours, leaving the wearer naked for everyone to laugh at, assuming they weren't laughing at him for wearing a donut in the first place. Upon regeneration, the armor reappears on the wearer if they are naked; otherwise, it floats in front of him mysteriously until he takes a bite or puts it on.

all this started after "MY" donut idea!??! wow.....

[Leper_Kahn]

I love this one. It's similar to the socks from above, but this one made an actual appearance in a game.

Sword of the Ancestors

The Sword of the Ancestors is always polished and sharp as long as the owner is polishing and sharpening it. If the owner fails to do these things the Ancestors get angry and let the sword get dull and unpolished at the same rate as a non-magical sword would. The Ancestors have placed a layer of protection on the sword so it doesn't detect as magic.