Amusing Magical Items

[Roderick_BR]

Ring of Invisibility

When worn, this ring confers invisibility to itself.

Helmet of invisibility.
When worn, it grants invisibility to the wearer. Except itself.

"Dude, a flying helmet."
"Hit it with the hammer to see what happens."

Good to play ghost pranks, if you use a blanket on top of it

"A ghost!"
"Nah, it's not, it's just a guy with a blanket on. Check this."
*Checks*
"Crap! There's only a helmet floating down there! Run!"

[TK-Squared]

Black Goggles
Everything else is invisible to you.

[Irreverent Fool]

My best friend in high school had innumerable 2nd edition books, including a sort of magic item compendium. I remember this one to this day.

Omelet of the Planes
A rather tasteless omelet that comes in a white styrofoam container. Although filling, anyone who eats it is nauseated.

A sort of magic item compendium? I wonder if you are in fact referring to the illustrious Encyclopedia Magica the four-volume set of items compiled from published adventure supplements, campaign settings, Dragon Magazine, and god-knows-where else. If not, it's too bad.

[Telonius]

"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

Forbidden Donut of Tastiness

Same properties as the "Regenerating Donut of Tastiness," with one exception. The donut is cursed. The curse is undetectable except by the use of an "Analyze Dweomer" spell. Upon taking the first bite out of the donut, a Lord of the Nine Hells is summoned. (EDIT: There were rumored to be nine of these donuts created, one for each Lord of the Nine Hells. Roll d10 to determine randomly which one, reroll on a 10.) He offers to allow the character to continue consuming the donut in exchange for - his soul! The character must make a DC 40 Will save in order to resist the donut's delicious lure. A successful check banishes the Devil, who takes his donut with him back to Baator.

Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 6,666,666 GP; CL 20th; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation, Bestow Curse, Suggestion, Trap the Soul, Plane Shift. Weight: 20 lbs

[Wamba the Fool]

Ring of Magic Weapon

The wearer of this ring causes +1 damage when he is used as a weapon.

(Hulking Hurler + Halflings wearing two Rings of Magic Weapon, anyone?)

[Beren One-Hand]

Ironically, this can be abused a bit. The price is 10 gp, but the material cost is only half of that... i.e. 5 gp.

Now you will be soaking alot of time to make these and it will net a 40% loss, however it does allow you to carry three times the normal amount of gold coins.

I'm not quite sure quite how, but I'm sure it could be used in a con game some how.

How about this, after making about 20 coins you enter a small town and start flashing your 'growing' money. Once everybody is interested you let them 'talk you into' telling them how it works. Tell them there's a magic stump a little ways into the forest that makes any coins placed into the hollow with one of these coins as a 'seed' and left overnight able to duplicate themselves, providied the process is not watched - the faries are very particular about it. Once the townspeople have emptied their life savings you sneak out, take the coins, and hightail it out of there.

[Insert Name Here]

Staff of Disintegration
"Well, what do you know, it disintegrated!"
Strong Transmutation, Disintegrate, Spell Turning, Craft Staff, Price the inconvenience of battle

Robe of The Wrong item
This robe appears to be a regular robe with many pockets. However, whenever a certain item is mentioned to be taboo, forbidden, or otherwise troublesome, said item slips out of one of the pockets. If the item is too large, the robe instead sends out a miniature replica of it. This is a cursed item.
Strong Conjuration, Major Creation, Bestow Curse, Craft Wondrous item. Caster must not have any ranks in diplomacy, cost depends on who's selling it (From negatives to knowledgeable people to positives for ignorant ones)

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

Armor of True Striking
This +1 full plate armor has been enchanted with a constant true strike spell. All attacks against it's wearer gain a +20 insight bonus to their attack rolls, just as the true strike spell.
CL: 5th, Faint Divination; Craft Magical Arms and Armor, true strike;Cost: 8,135gp

[TK-Squared]

Monk's Full Plate of Speed

This Full Plate is only useful while donned by a Monk. The armour empowers the Monk with a burst of insightful power; increasing their Flurry of Blows, AC Bonus and Speed Bonus as though they were 5 levels higher. Also, the Monk is so enlightened, they can add their Wisdom modifier to their armour twice.

CL: 10th; Craft Wonderous Item, Righteous Might or Transformation; Price: 45,000 GP

[EntilZha]

Black Goggles
Everything else is invisible to you.

Or how About:

Goggles of Fear Prevention

These appear to be normal goggles to their wearer. However, at the first sign of trouble they become totally opaque, and thus prevent the wearer from seeing anything that might frighten him.

Faint necromancy; CL: 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, blindness/deafness; Price 12,000 gp

(for all us Hitch Hiker's fans)

[EntilZha]

Many years ago I was in a campaign with some of my friends and we found this magical glove, which our DM told us was a cursed glove of masturbation (wearer is continuously compelled to....well, you know). For whatever reason, I held on to the prurient item, until we had a confrontation with the evil wizard who was our primary foil. While parlaying with him my character presented it to him and said it was a glove of Ultimate Power, and I would give it to him if he'd spare us. And of course, the other players played it up, "No, don't do it!!", etc, etc. The wizard took it, put it on and....well, let's just say he succeeded brilliantly on every grapple check he made involving his own crotch.

[Damage Control]

Forbidden Donut of Tastiness

Same properties as the "Regenerating Donut of Tastiness," with one exception. The donut is cursed. The curse is undetectable except by the use of an "Analyze Dweomer" spell. Upon taking the first bite out of the donut, a Lord of the Nine Hells is summoned. (EDIT: There were rumored to be nine of these donuts created, one for each Lord of the Nine Hells. Roll d10 to determine randomly which one, reroll on a 10.) He offers to allow the character to continue consuming the donut in exchange for - his soul! The character must make a DC 40 Will save in order to resist the donut's delicious lure. A successful check banishes the Devil, who takes his donut with him back to Baator.

Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 6,666,666 GP; CL 20th; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation, Bestow Curse, Suggestion, Trap the Soul, Plane Shift. Weight: 20 lbs

If you say "d'oh!" at any time during this process, rocks fall and everyone dies.

[knightsaline]

Toadstool of Badgers

This item summons 11 or 12 badgers. All they do is dance. when you use this item, roll a d2 (a coin!) on a roll of a 2, the toadstool summons snakes instead of badgers. The snakes just slither away, doing nothing.

Katana of Seppaku

This ornately detailed bastard sword works normally for anyone except those with levels of samurai. In the case of those with levels of samurai, if they ever become ex samurai by dishonoring their lord, they must make a DC 30 will save or commit seppaku

Obviously cursed

Armor if invisibility
Its invisible!

[Yami]

You know, samurai wouldn't really use thier katana for seppuku. Too long.

But nice job on helping thin out the ever prevalent Samurai overpopulation problem

[Jack Zander]

Good job with the threadomancy too. Especially since we have a similar new thread to post in.

[dr awesome phd]

Bag of Cute Mechanotherapy

The Bag of Cute Mechanotherapy appears to both the trained eye, and the untrained eye as a bag with elaborate kittens embroidery. As a full round action you may look inside the bag. Inside is a small Kitten Construct. Upon viewing the kitten, a player must rolled 1d100 to determine the outcome of the action.

1-10: Kitten Purrs, gain +1 Fuzzy Bonus to Snuggle checks
11-100: DM's Discretion.

CL: 10th; Craft Useless Item, Price: 500 GP

[GolemsVoice]

Schrödinger's Box
This simple wooden box is rigged with magical research devices, yet, somehow, none of them seem to measure anything going on inside the box. This magic item is activated by putting a cat in it. Afterwrds, the user must say the following mystical words: "I wonder what has happened to the cat?". Then, roll a d20. 1-9 the cat is dead on reopening, 10-18 the cat is dead, 19, the cat is alive and bloody furious, 20, the cat has turned into a quantuum abomination, which exists both on this plane AND on all other planes.
CL: 20, or 1, maybe Craft Quantuum Device

[dr awesome phd]

Does that work with Cat Constructs? If so, I think a new item combo has just been born!

/scaredofquantuumkitties

[Jack_Simth]

Not only did this take you about a day and a third to craft to get 90 gp

Slight problem....

Creating an item requires one day per 1,000 gp in the item’s base price, with a minimum of at least one day.

You make one per day, and it takes you all day.

Robe of The Wrong item
This robe appears to be a regular robe with many pockets. However, whenever a certain item is mentioned to be taboo, forbidden, or otherwise troublesome, said item slips out of one of the pockets. If the item is too large, the robe instead sends out a miniature replica of it. This is a cursed item.
Strong Conjuration, Major Creation, Bestow Curse, Craft Wondrous item. Caster must not have any ranks in diplomacy, cost depends on who's selling it (From negatives to knowledgeable people to positives for ignorant ones)

If you know what it is, it's a great item. Keep talking amongst your friends about various trade-good items that are forbidden elsewhere.

Keep it sealed away at other times.

[Nijik]

The mighty stone of indestructible-ness!

The seemingly normal stone is completely indestructable, bouces off any magic effect and is immune to everything, ever. Otherwise, it's just a normal stone.


I actually used that in my campain once, the player kept the stone for the whole campain, it was just a random rock in a field that emanated of artifact-level magic. Good times.

[dr awesome phd]

Now then, if only there was some way to use this rock... perhaps if I was to fashion a rudimentary lathe...

[Zenos]

Realy cute puppy/kitten

This Tiny canine/feline is not actualy a magic item, but an enchanted animal. It may once per day cast mass charm monster and at will it may cast charm person. Both of these abilities are at DC 37. However, it will not use this ability for anything else than to get cookies/bones/beef and it cannot be directed by the wielder.

[Rolaran]

=5 Sword

The result of a celestial typo, this sword appears to be a +5 sword. However, rather than adding +5 to attack and damage rolls, it causes them to equal 5. Exactly. The sword automatically misses anything with an AC higher than 5; should it actually hit something, it deals exactly 5 points of damage.

Ring of Free Movement

As soon as the wearer stops paying attention to it, it "freely moves" off his finger and onto the ground.

Blaming Burst Longsword

Whenever this sword critically misses, it explodes into a flurry of critiques of its wielder's stance and fighting style, as well as questioning his salary, his manhood and his vision. The wielder must make a Will Save (DC 20) or start crying.

Tome of "Complete Warrior"

This appears to be an ordinary book, detailing methods of creating a warrior-type character in a fictional game. However, it is trapped; pages 8-11 detail a class that sounds reasonably interesting and flavorful. Anyone attempting to create a character with this class is rendered totally ineffective (no save) and suffers the ridicule of the denizens of the internet.

[dr awesome phd]

I laughed so hard at that I almost fell out a window...

/that was awesome

[Kami2awa]

ring of striking: this magical ring is renowned for enabling poor warriors to fight extremely effectively.

anyone within 100 ft of the wearer of this ring gets +10 attack bonus as an un-named bonus, the wearer gets a +5 bonus.
cursed item

Or,

Ring of Striking

Anyone who dons this ring refuses to do whatever their normal job is. For instance, a fighter donning it refuses to fight anything, a wizard will not cast spells, etc. The curse can only be broken by offering them a greater reward than they normally get for their "job"; e.g. a bigger share of the party's treasure. Even then, the person offering the reward must succeed on a DC 25 Diplomacy check to lift the strike.

[martyboy74]

What if you have a gish? What happens then?

[Kami2awa]

What if you have a gish? What happens then?

Whats a gish?

[Spiryt]

=5 Sword
The result of a celestial typo, this sword appears to be a +5 sword. However, rather than adding +5 to attack and damage rolls, it causes them to equal 5. Exactly. The sword automatically misses anything with an AC higher than 5; should it actually hit something, it deals exactly 5 points of damage.

Blaming Burst Longsword

Whenever this sword critically misses, it explodes into a flurry of critiques of its wielder's stance and fighting style, as well as questioning his salary, his manhood and his vision. The wielder must make a Will Save (DC 20) or start crying.

Tome of "Complete Warrior"

This appears to be an ordinary book, detailing methods of creating a warrior-type character in a fictional game. However, it is trapped; pages 8-11 detail a class that sounds reasonably interesting and flavorful. Anyone attempting to create a character with this class is rendered totally ineffective (no save) and suffers the ridicule of the denizens of the internet.

You had won, sir.

[Lord Tataraus]

Whats a gish?

My I suggest this thread?

- Gish: A fighter/wizard multiclass character, specifically one capable of casting higher level spells and surviving melee combat. May also be broadened to refer to any combination of warrior/arcane (or psionic caster) classes. Hybrid classes such as bards, duskblades, hexblades, and psychic warriors are generally not considered examples (multiclass characters only). Originates from the term for a Githyanki war wizard (in 2e, a fighter/wizard or rogue/wizard).

[Kami2awa]

My I suggest this thread?

Then he stops doing both I suppose. He's on strike.