Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[Lord Raziere]

****Asking the Salubri if she can navigate through the Warp, even if our Vampire game is set in a time when 40k has already been published, is just rude.

***** Asking the True Brujah if they can use ZA WARUDO is also frowned upon.

[Socksy]

I don’t get it.

In 40k, Navigators have a third eye on their forehead which allows them (amongst other things) to navigate through the Warp. If you're playing Vampire set in any time after the 80s, it's completely possible for your character to have played 40k.

[noob]

In 40k, Navigators have a third eye on their forehead which allows them (amongst other things) to navigate through the Warp. If you're playing Vampire set in any time after the 80s, it's completely possible for your character to have played 40k.

There is conversion rules for converting 40k characters to vampire ones somehow????
Should I go play a techpriest and stab vampires with metal and not admit that wood is superior for that?

[Anonymouswizard]

In 40k, Navigators have a third eye on their forehead which allows them (amongst other things) to navigate through the Warp. If you're playing Vampire set in any time after the 80s, it's completely possible for your character to have played 40k.

To be fair, the Salubri would need to have reached the second level of Valeren to get their third eye, and non-Sabbat Salubri who do that are being really dumb. In Cainite terms the third eye is unique to the Salubri, is uncomfortable to hide, and it doesn't do much to improve your survivability. Which is all bad when you're being hunted down because people think that you're soul-sucking demon kin.

There is conversion rules for converting 40k characters to vampire ones somehow????
Should I go play a techpriest and stab vampires with metal and not admit that wood is superior for that?

No, but 40k can easily be referenced in Vampire. It's equivalent to me asking a priest to cure wounds IRL.

Although I believe one version had rules for going cyberpunk, I have no idea if those were official or fanmade.

[Laughing Dog]

*I am not to refer to vampire hunting as "free range archaeology".
**If we are being ordered to investigate a necropolis that is a few centuries old and are being paid half up front; that doesn't mean we are legitimate archaeologists this time around.
***We weren't archaeologists to begin with.

[TheYell]

*I may not bypass the penalties for an abysmal MA score by killing a prisoner and then using Commune with Spirit psychic power to ask it questions

*I may not assign alignment-shifting 'jobs' to NPCs
** Paraphrasing the Godfather about NPCs being animals who can lose their souls is right out

* In the bowels of the enemy pyramid I may not ask to be shown the OFF switch
**Reciting Mumra's "Ancient Spirits of Evil" mantra asks for a ZOT

*Wrist blades are a privilege that can be lost.
**They do not give a closer shave
*** The lead blade does not lift the enemy's head so the second blade can cut it off smoother

[noob]

*Wrist blades are a privilege that can be lost.

How did you lose your wrist blade privilege?
Was it by mounting a bayonet on your wrist blade as it seems suggested by

*** The lead blade does not lift the enemy's head so the second blade can cut it off smoother

?

[Socksy]

*I am not to refer to vampire hunting as "free range archaeology".

You just made me make a noise out loud.

* Male mummies aren't called Daddies.

* Transgender Awareness Week doesn't give the Nosferatu's retainer a -2 difficulty on his rolls to sense supernatural, even if he was assigned female at birth.
** Nor does it give everyone else a -2 difficulty to know he's a Hedge Mage.
*** Because by that logic, only one of the party would be allowed to use Obfuscate during Bisexual Visibility Month.

[Laughing Dog]

*I am not to refer to vampire hunting as "free range archaeology".

You just made me make a noise out loud.

Unrelated:
*The traditional Satyrian Warcry is not "Party Hard!"
**My goal for a campaign shouldn't be to become a dwarven lord and lead an army of 57 other dwarves to annihilate everything in my path.
***Having a flying fortress is acceptable. Having a Warforged Wizard Awaken it isn't.
****Living happily ever after involves more than throwing a giant party that spans the entire plane.
*****Killing a cat and bringing it back from the dead is not a method to create a giant zombie horde.
******I am to stop attempting to recreate my MtG decks in the campaigns.

[Rater202]

I may not paraphrase Nickelback songs in-character as part of a monolog.

[Taevyr]

* When playing a Naruto d20 one-shot, spending all of my starting capital on shuriken and trying to solve literally every problem with them may be frowned upon.

** When an examinator asks me exactly how many shuriken I am carrying, I cannot just answer "yes".

*** Throwing deadly weapons at rival students during an exam because it's "efficient" isn't "solving a problem"

**** No matter how capable I am with them, throwing shuriken non-lethally doesn't quite work as well

***** Putting all your shuriken in a bag to use as a non-lethal bludgeoning weapon is original, but may make you DM consider what led him to this point in life

****** Calculating the weight of said bag, climbing high up and dropping it on enemies for massive "non-lethal" damage may induce a mild meltdown

******* Answering a party member asking you whether you can do anything non-shuriken related with "Shure-I-can" after all this is equally hilarious and mentally scarring, apparently

[ftafp]

* It is fine for my warforged druid to integrate leather armor
** It is fine for my warforged druid to want to be alive
*** It is not fine for my warforged druid to make leather armor from the skin of his enemies so he can experience what it feels like to have skin

* Winter clothing can be used to disguise three kobolds as a human
** Winter clothing can not be used to disguise a million spiders as a swarm ranger

[Rockphed]

I may not paraphrase Nickelback songs in-character as part of a monolog.

Behold the engraving. Why are our eyes clouded with rage, and what manner of helmetry does Joedr wear?

[BisectedBrioche]

* Punching a gnoll as a last resort is fine, but when you're a rogue it's not a great first resort.

Disclaimer: In the end, I got inspiration.

[danielxcutter]

* Punching a gnoll as a last resort is fine, but when you're a rogue it's not a great first resort.

Disclaimer: In the end, I got inspiration.

I'm pretty sure most classes called "rogues" gain significant bonuses if they punch first.

[noob]

Unrelated:
*The traditional Satyrian Warcry is not "Party Hard!"
**My goal for a campaign shouldn't be to become a dwarven lord and lead an army of 57 other dwarves to annihilate everything in my path.
***Having a flying fortress is acceptable. Having a Warforged Wizard Awaken it isn't.
****Living happily ever after involves more than throwing a giant party that spans the entire plane.
*****Killing a cat and bringing it back from the dead is not a method to create a giant zombie horde.
******I am to stop attempting to recreate my MtG decks in the campaigns.

**** The warforged wizard will not change their name to karn even if you ask them politely.
****** It does work if you use clone but it is frowned upon and ridiculously expensive.
****** No you should not use ignore material components in order to make clones for free to make a "cheap zombie cat horde"

[Anonymouswizard]

* It doesn't matter if it has no listed weight, I cannot carry a castle.

[Personification]

Unrelated:
*The traditional Satyrian Warcry is not "Party Hard!"
**My goal for a campaign shouldn't be to become a dwarven lord and lead an army of 57 other dwarves to annihilate everything in my path.
***Having a flying fortress is acceptable. Having a Warforged Wizard Awaken it isn't.
****Living happily ever after involves more than throwing a giant party that spans the entire plane.
*****Killing a cat and bringing it back from the dead is not a method to create a giant zombie horde.
******I am to stop attempting to recreate my MtG decks in the campaigns.

You have Karn animate Parhelion II?
Why am I not doing that?
Also, who are the other 49 dwarves?

[Laughing Dog]

You have Karn animate Parhelion II?
Why am I not doing that?
Also, who are the other 49 dwarves?

Because that deck is well out of standard?

I count each instance of seven dwarves as seven (as there actually are seven in each picture). Four tokens from dwarven mines and four Rimrock knights round out the fifty seven.

[BisectedBrioche]

I'm pretty sure most classes called "rogues" gain significant bonuses if they punch first.

This a) wasn't first and b) wasn't with a weapon or advantage (so no sneak attack bonus, just my str modifier).

[danielxcutter]

This a) wasn't first and b) wasn't with a weapon or advantage (so no sneak attack bonus, just my str modifier).

Lemme guess, 5e?

[Socksy]

* May not base any Kindred on any Gilbert and Sullivan character.

** Even if The Mikado is about what happens when the Prince's childe wants to run off with a Toreador neonate, even though he's pledged to the Sheriff, a powerful Nosferatu.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not base any Kindred on any Gilbert and Sullivan character.

** Even if The Mikado is about what happens when the Prince's childe wants to run off with a Toreador neonate, even though he's pledged to the Sheriff, a powerful Nosferatu.

*** There is no 'Primogen of everybody else'.

[BisectedBrioche]

Lemme guess, 5e?

Good guess

[Rater202]

*I cannot base my characters on Starbomb songs.

[Hellpyre]

*I cannot base my characters on Starbomb songs.

**Submitting links to songs is in no way a substitute for writing a backstory, even if it perfectly encapsulates the character.

[danielxcutter]

*I cannot base my characters on Starbomb songs.

Well first I’m gonna warp you into a world of hate and war/where you’ll be forced to assault everyone you’ve known and loved before

[BisectedBrioche]

*I cannot base my characters on Starbomb songs.

My character's basically the fanon version of Samus (with a bit of tweaking and additions to make something more original). My DM is powerless to stop me at this point.

[Socksy]

* Doesn't matter what you just rolled on that Conscience check, if you're in the Sabbat, you frequently kill, you murdered a delivery driver to flesh-shape into her identity, and you wear a still-living jacket made out of people, your Humanity should not still be 10.

[danielxcutter]

My character's basically the fanon version of Samus (with a bit of tweaking and additions to make something more original). My DM is powerless to stop me at this point.

...And today I learned that they did a 3D animation for that one. I think the lyrics are a bit different though.

Also can you elaborate on "fanon Samus"?