DnD Head Canons

[Millstone85]

If it were any other way, druids of more radical sects of environmentalists would crush cities with huge rituals and reestablish nature in their place.

I like your idea but I also think that Chauntea would be the nature deity least affected by this policy. Surprisingly for the original Mother Earth Toril, she is now mainly associated with agriculture and even "crib, hearth and home" (5e SCAG p27). Untamed wilderness, and pursuits like the razing of settlements, are the domain of Silvanus.

[Bohandas]

[COLOR="#0000FF"]Honestly, I rarely think of D&D sun gods as being in direct control of the actual sun (even though that's how it works in a lot of myths about sun gods), so I don't think it even occurred to me to question the number of them that exist

What would indirect control look like? (In the context of a god who isn't a god of clouds or darkness that is; I don't think I've seen any official sun gods that control those). Indirect control doesn't make sense.

Nor does regional control, since it's the one sun for the whole world. (edit: and nor is the world lit by just one particular region of the sun, although small gods of each solar granule would be an interesting take)

And it's not something that you teach either. A forest god or a god of magic could teach you the ways of the forest or of magic, but there's not much to learn about the sun in the context of a D&D fantasy setting; I've never seen or heard of a temple with a Hertzsprung–Russell diagram painted on the wall. Nor does any official magic seem to draw energy from the sun per se; you won't find Superman or Starkiller Base in D&D.

At best they could be either a protector of the sun or a god of light with an overly grandiose title. And prottectors of the sun usually are seperate from THE sun god, and presuppose and the existence of a counterpart god who presents a credible danger to the sun. And in any case most of the sun gods aren;t presented as either of these.

[Rockphed]

Elves cannot tell humans apart. They would confuse a young Macaulay Culkin and Idris Elba in Thor. They would confuse Lizzo and Mr Rogers. Humans age too quickly and have too similar of skin tones (seriously, just shades of brown? What are you, dirt elves?) for elves to register the differences. Elves have every hue of skin imaginable (red for fire elves, yellow for sun elves, orange for gem elves, green for tree elves, blue for sea elves, purple for night elves). Elves maintain the same face for centuries.

Along with this, all elves can pull razors, combs, hairbrushes, and other hygiene products out of hammerspace. Despite quite a few having dual use as weapons or escape implements, no elf will ever use them to try to escape since then they might not have them when they need to look fresh. The only way to get a disheveled looking elf is to tie them hand and foot and post a guard. Even then they might manage to freshen up when the guard has their back turned for a moment.

Elves have names like the dogs in Bluey. They are very confused that has mans give their dogs elf names.

[Metastachydium]

Along with this, all elves can pull razors

I tend to agree with all the rest, but… Razors? What do they do with razors? Everyone knows that Elves are completely hairless. Even that long stuff on their heads is really just capillaries in a keratinous shell used for thermoregulation (alongside the ears, naturally), because (as everyone knows) Elves don't sweat.

[Rockphed]

I tend to agree with all the rest, but… Razors? What do they do with razors? Everyone knows that Elves are completely hairless. Even that long stuff on their heads is really just capillaries in a keratinous shell used for thermoregulation (alongside the ears, naturally), because (as everyone knows) Elves don't sweat.

I can't decide if I like this one or not. Part of me wants elves to have the same basic biology as humans. Part of me want to have elves have a reason for their aloof and condescending attitude.

[Metastachydium]

I can't decide if I like this one or not. Part of me wants elves to have the same basic biology as humans. Part of me want to have elves have a reason for their aloof and condescending attitude.

Your Elves have been SWEATING this whole time?? (More seriously, I think that ship might have sailed (he-he) when someone decided these pointy-eared freaks don't need to sleep and can stay young for longer than any vertebrate organism is known to, like, live in real life.)

[Rockphed]

Your Elves have been SWEATING this whole time?? (More seriously, I think that ship might have sailed (he-he) when someone decided these pointy-eared freaks don't need to sleep and can stay young for longer than any vertebrate organism is known to, like, live in real life.)

Elven childhood is about 100 years long, which is significantly less than the ~500 years greenland sharks live.

And elves don't sweat because they don't engage in strenuous activity when it is hot. Note how they tend to party at night in deep woods by cool streams.

[Metastachydium]

Elven childhood is about 100 years long, which is significantly less than the ~500 years greenland sharks live.

I said young and I totally misremembered the figures (sorry 'bout that), but [checks, this time] 175 years before hitting middle age, 263 years of not-old and up to 750 years spent alive still doesn't scream "human biology" to me.

And elves don't sweat because they don't engage in strenuous activity when it is hot. Note how they tend to party at night in deep woods by cool streams.

Note to self: Elven parties must be lame.

[Rockphed]

Note to self: Elven parties must be lame.

They spend 20 seconds being totally awesome and then 5 minutes watching other people be awesome before repeating. Or they throw parties in magical freezers.

[Metastachydium]

Or they throw parties in magical freezers.

Now, that's a mental image I certainly do like.

[Bohandas]

The baatezu and tanar'ri are umtimately on borrowed time (on a cosmic scale at any rate). The Law of Threes dictates that they eventually be replaced by other fiends that will either reign permanently or eventually cycle back into the obryiths and baatorans

[Millstone85]

The baatezu and tanar'ri are umtimately on borrowed time (on a cosmic scale at any rate). The Law of Threes dictates that they eventually be replaced by other fiends that will either reign permanently or eventually cycle back into the obryiths and baatorans

Zargon the Returner, being aware of this, is looking for the one who will dethrone Asmodeus and create the third race of LE exemplars, so Zargon can then retake the throne from that one and recreate the Baatorians.

[Spore]

They spend 20 seconds being totally awesome and then 5 minutes watching other people be awesome before repeating. Or they throw parties in magical freezers.

Maybe all elves radiate excess heat towards the fey realm powering its lush forests and jungles. Also I could see a Satyr selling "elf sweat" like "gamer girl bath water".

[Rockphed]

Also I could see a Satyr selling "elf sweat" like "gamer girl bath water".

I think you have the direction of that transaction backwards.

[Doctor Witch]

Stinking Cloud is considered an uncouth spell as in order to cast it, one must first eat the material component. Then the verbal component is "Pull my finger" and the somatic component is doing that. The cloud then emanates from the caster backside.

Despite this, or perhaps because of, it remains a hugely popular spell.

[Spriteless]

I think the evil Yuan-ti gods started as gods of the Lizardfolk. But Lizardfold have alien minds, and don't worship with the fervor humans do, so those gods transform humans into their favored forms. Perhaps it started when several different tribes of nomads teamed up against a greater threat. After victory celebration had different peoples sharing stories about gods. But as addictive human idolatry corrupts the snake gods, they pay it back 1000 fold corrupting their worshipers.

But Lizardfolk never stopped low key praying to emulate cool hunting snakes.

[KorvinStarmast]

Every portable hole comes from the Sea of Holes. This means that every so often a blue meanie, one of the Beatles, or Nowhere Man[1] will pop out of it when you lay it flat on the floor.

Spoiler: What is this all about?

Show

The prototype portable hole was folded up and put into Ringo Starr's pocket. He then said

"I've got a hole in me pocket"

Spoiler: {1} aka

Show

Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD

[animorte]

Every portable hole comes from the Sea of Holes. This means that every so often a blue meanie, one of the Beatles, or Nowhere Man[1] will pop out of it when you lay it flat on the floor.

Spoiler: What is this all about?

Show

The prototype portable hole was folded up and put into Ringo Starr's pocket. He then said

Spoiler: {1} aka

Show

Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD

Can't express how much I appreciate this.

[KorvinStarmast]

Can't express how much I appreciate this.

I wish I could prove this, but I doubt I can.
I have a vague memory that some years ago someone from the early gang (Jim Ward, maybe) had mentioned that linkage between portable holes, the hole in Ringo's pocket and the sea of holes.

[Kriegspiel]

Githyanki are not a propogating species.

The reason their dress, weapons & armor are ancient in style and appearance is the same that they themselves look ancient and dessicated.

They are not the descendents of the slave armies bred by the Mind Flayers millenia ago. They are the remnants of those armies

The Githyanki who withdrew to the Astral plane after their uprising are all that remain. That is the reason for their eternal guerilla war against the Mind Flayers....once the they are gone, their cause is lost.

All they have left is taking is the Mind Flayers with them.

You see me now, a veteran
Of a thousand psychic wars
I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar

[Bohandas]

What would indirect control look like? (In the context of a god who isn't a god of clouds or darkness that is; I don't think I've seen any official sun gods that control those). Indirect control doesn't make sense.

Nor does regional control, since it's the one sun for the whole world. (edit: and nor is the world lit by just one particular region of the sun, although small gods of each solar granule would be an interesting take)

And it's not something that you teach either. A forest god or a god of magic could teach you the ways of the forest or of magic, but there's not much to learn about the sun in the context of a D&D fantasy setting; I've never seen or heard of a temple with a Hertzsprung–Russell diagram painted on the wall. Nor does any official magic seem to draw energy from the sun per se; you won't find Superman or Starkiller Base in D&D.

At best they could be either a protector of the sun or a god of light with an overly grandiose title.

It recently occurred to me that they wouldn't necessarily have to be a god specifically of light. You could have like a god of warmth, and a god or making the plants grow, and a god of keeping vampires away, and a god of subnburn and skin cancer, etc, but AFAIK none of the official settings divide the sun gods up this way

[Metastachydium]

Githyanki are not a propogating species.

The reason their dress, weapons & armor are ancient in style and appearance is the same that they themselves look ancient and dessicated.

They are not the descendents of the slave armies bred by the Mind Flayers millenia ago. They are the remnants of those armies

The Githyanki who withdrew to the Astral plane after their uprising are all that remain. That is the reason for their eternal guerilla war against the Mind Flayers....once the they are gone, their cause is lost.

All they have left is taking is the Mind Flayers with them.

You see me now, a veteran
Of a thousand psychic wars
I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar

They must be really good at not levelling up, then!

[thorr-kan]

They must be really good at not levelling up, then!

Can't level up; queen will eat me.

Quick, craft magic items!

[Luccan]

Can't level up; queen will eat me.

Quick, craft magic items!

No one was happier for the change to 3e than Githyanki

[Spore]

They must be really good at not levelling up, then!

Can't level up; queen will eat me.

Quick, craft magic items!

Maybe there was an unmentioned event ala "Spellplague" that just drained everyone's level. And since the Gith don't age, we can assume the Astral Plane has no flow of time, meaning their entire existence is withing one singular spec of time, all parallel in stasis related to realtime.

No time? No levelup.

[oudeis]

• Wooden stakes affect vampires because they are both composed of dead matter that once was living. The heart is still the locus of power to undead, and the stake disrupts or dissipates the flow of energy that animates them. This explains why metal weapons alone are incapable of inflicting Final Death (it is also worth noting that the presence of metal in the impaling object, such as a steel point on an arrow, nullifies the disruptive effect). Some scholars have speculated that the wood must be of equal or greater age to the vampire to be effective, but these conjectures are based on fragmentary accounts that have passed through numerous sources, languages, and even eras. Given the rarity of vampires and the dire consequences of failure, few have been willing to test such notions as whether green wood would suffice for newly-risen spawn. There have also been reports of vampire hunters using weapons made from antler, horn, bone, teeth, claws, and even seashells and coral. A legendary mariner and undead slayer of the Great Southern Archipelago is said to have finished his foes with a spear made from the bill of an immense swordfish. Note: petrified wood (if in game) may retain its effectiveness depending on the world, or might even be required to defeat Antediluvian-age vampires...

• Adventurers become more powerful by killing because they absorb the life force of the defeated, like the Immortals in 'Highlander'. This ability is incredibly rare, and even in a population of millions only a few hundred indivduals may exist. It is not known whether this is a power bestowed by by supranatural entities, the alignment of cosmic forces, or if Adventurers, like Immortals, are a distinct strain or even sub-species of their race.

• Sigil isn't a torus, it's a Mobius strip. It both rotates around The Spire and traverses its length randomly, both in direction and distance, but no one has been able to measure or even prove these motions occur. The twist or orientation of the plane of the city also changes in a kind of precessional wave: areas that once faced inward to the rest of the city will turn to face orthogonally or to the Outer Planes. The direction, speed, frequency and magnitude of these waves may or may not be random. While the frequent change in local perspective makes city living entertaining, many feel that the increased occurrence of Planar incursions that come with the view of the Outer Planes make it of questionable property value.

• Dark Sun, like Gamma World, is set in the aftermath of a catastrophic conflict between superpowers, with magical forces of Global magnitude taking the place of Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical weapons. It is not- repeat NOT- the result of a single human-supremacist ruler and his goon squad. The global devastation and concomitant mutations and mutant powers are due to the commingled effects of the unimaginable forces that were unleashed, not because of Buford the Bugbear Buster, Tristan the Troll Triturator, and Dwayne the Dwarf Dwowner (he had a speech impediment- don't make fun).

• Bulettes are the larval stage of the Tarrasque

• Archdevils such as Asmodeus are unique individuals with proper names. What we think of as the names of Demon Lords are actually titles claimed by whichever demon is strong enough to take it, as Roman emperors assumed the name Caesar upon taking the throne. Demogorgon is dead, long live Demogorgon.

• Wish is not a spell that gives its caster the personal ability to warp reality, nor is it a service that comparatively minor beings such as Monster Manual Djinni can provide. Whether invoked directly by a wizard or indirectly through an intermediary, wishes are appeals to entities or forces on the order of deities with world-shaping and even cosmic levels of power. Sorry, but reading spellbooks, lost scrolls, the tomes of ancient sages past, or the Wizard's manual- even the Appendices- isn't going to make you capable of magic of that magnitude.

[Witty Username]

I like your idea but I also think that Chauntea would be the nature deity least affected by this policy. Surprisingly for the original Mother Earth Toril, she is now mainly associated with agriculture and even "crib, hearth and home" (5e SCAG p27). Untamed wilderness, and pursuits like the razing of settlements, are the domain of Silvanus.

Not to mention shadow druids are already a thing, the Forgotten Realms (or at least the Sword Coast) is a pretty conflict filled place, even on the best of days. Baldur's Gate is on top of a hell gate, Amm is on and off at war with all its neighbors, druid war with civilization and eachother on disputes of doctrine.
And whatever Thay is doing these days, their leadership seems to have swum off the deep end going off the movie.
--
I realize I may have needed to question this one more, but I awhile ago accepted as fact that Amanatour and Lathandar are the same god but altered by the passage of time. (Different personalities same deity)
And a 4e bit of lore I rather like was Amanatour being subsumed by Lathandar as Lathandar accepted he is not perfect and must take the time to improve where Amanatour has too great an ego to acknowledge this.

[Spore]

• Wish is not a spell that gives its caster the personal ability to warp reality, nor is it a service that comparatively minor beings such as Monster Manual Djinni can provide. Whether invoked directly by a wizard or indirectly through an intermediary, wishes are appeals to entities or forces on the order of deities with world-shaping and even cosmic levels of power. Sorry, but reading spellbooks, lost scrolls, the tomes of ancient sages past, or the Wizard's manual- even the Appendices- isn't going to make you capable of magic of that magnitude.

Fully agree here. For one D&D severely mishandles the mysticism of geniekind by making them so well known instead of creatures without statblocks that grant their arcane magical powers to those they wish to torture, trick or bless.

And yes, wish as a 9th level spell when you can contact other planes (that may drive you mad) far earlier than 9th level, when you can flick at a djinn on 13th level onwards and it dies a horrible death? Yea, 9th level spells are grasping the infinite. Eldritch horrors and unfathomable creatures beyond time and space (dungeon masters?).

[KorvinStarmast]

• Adventurers become more powerful by killing because they absorb the life force of the defeated, like the Immortals in 'Highlander'. This ability is incredibly rare, and even in a population of millions only a few hundred indivduals may exist. It is not known whether this is a power bestowed by by supranatural entities, the alignment of cosmic forces, or if Adventurers, like Immortals, are a distinct strain or even sub-species of their race.

Only fits if everyone who is an adventurer is a human (kind of like CoC).
But a neat idea.

• Dark Sun, like Gamma World, is set in the aftermath of a catastrophic conflict between superpowers, with magical forces of Global magnitude taking the place of Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical weapons. It is not- repeat NOT- the result of a single human-supremacist ruler and his goon squad. The global devastation and concomitant mutations and mutant powers are due to the commingled effects of the unimaginable forces that were unleashed, not because of Buford the Bugbear Buster, Tristan the Troll Triturator, and Dwayne the Dwarf Dwowner (he had a speech impediment- don't make fun).

I use a similar explanation for the Rain of Colorless Fire that made the western part of Greyhawk's world into a desert/sea of dust.

• Bulettes are the larval stage of the Tarrasque

That doesn't scan. A bulette is a mutant giant armadillo hopped up on crystal meth.

• Archdevils such as Asmodeus are unique individuals with proper names. What we think of as the names of Demon Lords are actually titles claimed by whichever demon is strong enough to take it, as Roman emperors assumed the name Caesar upon taking the throne. Demogorgon is dead, long live Demogorgon.

Interesting take, but I go back to Demagorgon's origin (in D&D) in eldritch wizardry; he and Orcus have proper names, like your Asmodeus example; the various other demons were Types I through VI. So I can't buy this one.

• Wish is not a spell that gives its caster the personal ability to warp reality, nor is it a service that comparatively minor beings such as Monster Manual Djinni can provide. Whether invoked directly by a wizard or indirectly through an intermediary, wishes are appeals to entities or forces on the order of deities with world-shaping and even cosmic levels of power. Sorry, but reading spellbooks, lost scrolls, the tomes of ancient sages past, or the Wizard's manual- even the Appendices- isn't going to make you capable of magic of that magnitude.

Yes.

Fully agree here. For one D&D severely mishandles the mysticism of geniekind by making them so well known instead of creatures without statblocks that grant their arcane magical powers to those they wish to torture, trick or bless.

That's a fair point. But they used to be able to grant a wish. (If we go back to the original game).

And yes, wish as a 9th level spell when you can contact other planes (that may drive you mad) far earlier than 9th level, when you can flick at a djinn on 13th level onwards and it dies a horrible death? Yea, 9th level spells are grasping the infinite. Eldritch horrors and unfathomable creatures beyond time and space (dungeon masters?).

Limited Wish (from AD&D 1e was I think an attempt to scale wish back a bit ... the implementation as a warlock feature at Tier 3 is ... OK, I guess.

[D&D_Fan]

Kuo-Toa minds give rise to gods with their collective belief, much faster than any other race. What might take hundreds of thousands of mortal worshippers, kuo-toa could do with a few dozen devout worshippers. Kuo-Toa clerics are basically using the collective directed psionic potential of their race as the source of their divine magic.

But very few kuo-toa ever awaken that potential in their own minds. And I think it's because of the Mind Flayers. What if the kuo-toa were a powerful ancient race of truly potent psions, but the mind flayers managed to lock away that potential into their minds, driving them mad? The Mind Flayers clearly never anticipated that the kuo-toa would be able to access a spark of that power through devout belief, they abandoned the kuo-toa because they were not useful as slaves, too unstable.

It might sound far-fetched, until you consider one thing. Their name. "Kuo-Toa," what does it mean? Original. Masters.

So yeah, the kuo-toa didn't used to be like this. They used to be a truly powerful empire (not one without enemies, mind you, even before the mind flayers, they still hated sea elves and humans in ancient times) But it's because of the Mind Flayers that they have degenerated into primitive cultists. The pre-mind-flayer kuo-toa were probably also less gross-looking, since they've also just generally devolved and inbred a lot since.

But I think a psionically awakened kuo-toa, such as one trapped in stasis from before the mind-flayers, would be a truly freaky entity for a party to encounter.