Results 481 to 510 of 1025
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2020-09-26, 04:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2020
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Evil Guy: "So, do you wish to serve me?"
Raven: "You have my sword." [laying the sword at the EG's feet]
Evil Guy: "Good."
Raven: "...but I'm a Wizard." [casts Black Tentacles]
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2020-09-26, 11:08 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Lizardfolk Paladin puts his arms around the shoulders of the drunk, joyfully sobbing kenku and the drunk, joyfully sobbing gnome. "I just love weddings... want to steal the ferry?"
To all the posters before me, those are some brilliant quotes. Thanks for the humor :)Last edited by NRSASD; 2020-09-26 at 11:09 AM.
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2020-09-27, 03:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
GM: Ok what do you do?
DARK PALADIN: So I'm staring at two dozen Horune Pirates who are dazed and blinded in a corridor?
GM: Yep
DARK PALADIN: (giggling breathlessly) I raise my flamethrower and shout, "I don't want to do this...BUT I MUST"
GM: Yeah. Just roll to hit already
VAMPIRE: Ugh. If I tell you, will you let me go?
APHELION: You have my word.
DARK PALADIN: Mine too.
GM: The vampire tries to tell you where to find his master, but he chokes. His neck writhes and his head turns around. Clearly he can't tell you.
APHELION: Well that means the deal is off, doesn't it?
DARK PALADIN: Ahahaha
APHELION: Ahahaha
DARK PALADIN AND APHELION: Ahahaha
APHELION: I cast Life Blast on him
GM: You see a burst of light. Its coming from the nuclear warhead.
DARK PALADIN: I jump into a refrigerator.
GM: What do you do?
DARK PALADIN: I turn blue and lose my clothes.
GM: What?
DARK PALADIN: And I go back in time when this didn't happen, and I change the future.
GM: Sounds like a power you don't have.
DARK PALADIN: Are you sure surviving that nuke didn't make me Dr. Manhattan?
APHELION : I speed burst straight up to orbit, and I toss away the nuclear warhead, saying "This weapon is too dangerous for anyone to own"
DARK PALADIN: OK, Kal-El.
DARK PALADIN: Imma holster my weapon and call on them to stop the fighting.
GM: Do you have any ability that would help you do that?
DARK PALADIN: No...
GM: What's your MA score?
DARK PALADIN: 3.
GM: Uhah. Nope.
APHELION: "Stop fighting, jerks! Gawd!"
GM: She fades away and shouts, "Never come near the Federation of Magic! You will be destroyed!"
APHELION: Same to you, bitch!Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail
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2020-09-27, 11:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
E: "My only regret is that I didn't see more of this lovely world."
R: "My only regret is that I couldn't take more of them down first."
X: "My only regret is that I'm tied to a stake with you two."
A: *raises sword* "With this knife, I shall care my way through villainy!" *raises trident* "And with this fork, I shall pierce the heart of evil! Prepare yourselves, IT'S DINNER TIME!"
X: "There goes the village. Up in flames, as impermanent as life itself."
O: "Why do you always have to be so gloomy?"
X: "My emotions are in a jar that I can't open.
R (OOC): DEAR GOD! SCUPPERS WHAT DID YOU EAT?
DM: What happened?
R (OOC): My dog farted, and its bad enough to melt steel!If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.
Spoiler: Old Projects
Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".
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2020-09-30, 04:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Gadrick: "So we're all agreed that burning this village and everyone in it to the ground is the right thing to do?"
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2020-10-02, 10:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Sasani: Lonji, I dropped my lance over there.
Lonji: I can be your lance!
Lonji: They´re spiders.
Boss: Wow, racist much.
Sasani: a racehorse to be more exact.
Horell: Oh, my gods! I hit!
GM: I know, this has never happened before.
Sasani: if you were a sorcerer you would have bloodline: frog.
Alum: Lonji is a reach weapon.
Lonji: I think most of that damage is simply momentum.
Monster: What did the lizard say to the rat?
Scar excitedly from afar: LUNCH!
Sasani: yea, what he said.
Monster: very well, lunch.
Horell: I miss.
GM: as usual then.
Horell: Yes. everything is back to normal again.
GM: you should not throw a star knife at someone’s chocolate starfish!
Boss: please. your embarrassing us both.
Horse: MUNCH!
Scar: I attack the hand. I don’t understand tactics, but I do understand that the bad guys gets a lot more talkative when all their henchmen are gone.
GM: ok, you attack the hand that feeds you.
…
GM: you attack the hand with two devastating high fives.
Scar: Oh my god that’s a table.
Scar: Oh my god you really went overboard with that.
GM: You look at the table of content and its full of people.
Alum: it’s not mimics you need to be afraid of, it’s the unalive furniture. Table away!
Table: hulloo, im a table.
Horell: Scar is surrounded.
GM: the same way a blender is surrounded by fruit.
Horell: Why do you assume I did something stupid? maybe I just got ambushed.
Alum: have you even met this group?
Alum: harumpf. what a waste of item destroying powers.
Alum go down the hole.
Lonji: oh, how the tables have turned.
Horell: Now who is rushing into trouble?
Alum: Sasani. I’m just the passenger.
GM: as you lie there in the hole, staring upwards, you see the falling sense of irony.
GM: if you say so, I’m gona trust you, I’m not here to do math.
Lonji: You came out here for a good time, but honestly your feeling attacked right now.
Lonji: this is the first time I’ve ever charged
Horell: technically you have charged, just never on the ground
Lonji: I’ve fallen on people before, this time its intentional.
Horell: I’m apparently part duck
Scar: you were merely adopted by the duck.
GM: Horell swoops down like a majestic albatross and snatches Lonji from the water like a fish.
Scar: I don’t think we had a plan.
Lonji: my plan was getting into the house. I had a plan. I’m a leadership figure.
Horell: you lead us into trouble
Scar: Under completely different circumstances this wouldn’t have been completely stupid
Horell: this plan looked so much better in my head.
Lonji: This plan is looking amazing.
Lonji: I use my personality, I’m to pretty to be diseased.
GM: They are unarmored, not naked.
Scar: this is fantasy, unarmored women are basically considered naked.
Lonji: technically even armored women are considered naked.
Horell: only if their wearing high level armor.
GM: do you know why all monks are female? they are all able to control their shi.
Sasani: Avatar the last genderbender.
Lonji: hehehe...wait... oh no. THIS WAS ALMOST VOLUNTARY!
GM: Lonji go down the hole
Alum: Is lonji cheating on me?
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2020-10-02, 10:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
- Location
- Vacation in Nyalotha
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Then Nico (a living PC) could be her next dead husband!"
Last edited by Xervous; 2020-10-02 at 10:37 PM.
If all rules are suggestions what happens when I pass the save?
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2020-10-05, 08:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- New Jersey
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
DM: "You are disguised as a giant bird person in the capitol city of the Drow. You kinda stick out."
Player: "I didn't pick this disguise! You did!"
DM: "Maybe tip your illusionist better."
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2020-10-08, 11:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
- Location
- Location, Location
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Are you going to run away now? Or do I have to bleed on you some more?"
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2020-10-10, 04:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
R: “Honey does not grant divine powers!”
A: “Anything grants divine powers in enough quantity!”
R: “That’s not how that works!”
O: “Everything feels wrong! Even my liver feels incorrect!”
E: “Un-mouth that fruit!”
X: “My entire life is based on the ideals of Destiny.”If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.
Spoiler: Old Projects
Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".
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2020-10-12, 02:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
First time player, having just created a fire-focused sorcerer: "Do humans count as fuel?"
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2020-10-12, 02:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"What does isiproply mean?"
"...Did... did you think I was serious about the Harem? Wait, is that an option?"I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2020-10-12, 05:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2017
- Location
- CLASSIFIED
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.
Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!
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2020-10-17, 10:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2020
- Location
- Upstate New York
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
GM:"The metal face in the sky lets out a scream that rends reality itself."
Player:"Oh great, this guy's into Swedish Metal. I'm never sharing my playlist with him."Many thanks to Meto30 for sketching this amazing piece of art, and for allowing me to use it as my avatar!
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2020-10-18, 02:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"You know, its one thing to loot a dead party member's body, its another to thing to try and loot their body."
"Undead don't liiiiike it, bop the zombie, bop the zombie!" (As sung to the tune of Rock the Casbah)
"Four hundred years of undead and great, we found a theater critic."Basilisk 6Pilot of the Thing
I'm not evil. My morals just aren't the same as society's.
On a one man quest to beat the Star Wars Universe, using nothing but simple, plain, ordinary logic. Score so far: Me 593 SWU 450
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2020-10-18, 10:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
R: “Yes, I like to dress up as a woman and hit things with a big sword, don’t kink-shame me!”
E: “I don’t have to listen to me, but you do!”
O: “My bones lied to me!”
A: “Stop standing there like a lemon about to be juiced!”
X: “What’s the most interesting thing you’ve pressed your face into?”
E: “As long as I’m a mushroom, my heart is hidden, and I’m safe.”
R: “He can regrow from a single yeast!”
A: “You ain’t a lord! You’re a s’more! I’m gonna set you on fire, melt you down, and eat you like a snack!”Last edited by ZeroGear; 2020-10-18 at 10:32 PM.
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2020-10-21, 11:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
“I think you’re misunderstanding my relationships by looking at it through your own lens. It’s less that I own many, and more than I am owned by many. This [censored] is communal property, essentially.”
Avatar by TinyMushroom.
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2020-10-29, 08:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"It is a tradition amongst my people that if a leader sends a man to his death, the leader should drink until he can no longer remember the man he sent."
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2020-10-30, 06:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- New Jersey
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"Well, if it isn't the shake-weight sausage man!"
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"I know what the smart move is. However, my character is gonna do the dumb thing, because that's the kind of person he is."
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"We're going to drop initiative here because this will take all night. Basically, you spend the next two hours in an epic slap fight with the other barbarian, flattening an entire section of the bazaar and drawing a huge crowd of basically every secret drow police force in the city."
"Then my distraction worked! Huzzah!"
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2020-11-02, 04:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2019
- Location
- Somewhere over th rainbow
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2020-11-02, 12:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Alum: I run to solid ground because flying bulls are a thing.
Alum: WHOS THROWING BULLS!
Horell: The question of the day is: are the bulls actually flying or is the oni just throwing them at us.
Horell: I mean... the room is very hole sized.
Lonji: I’m locked in with you, your locked in with me, were locked in here together, it’s gona be great.
Sasani: if you truly are a oni, may you learn what it is to fight a dragon.
GM: oh, that is corny, I like it.
Sasani: and the dragon stands alone.
Lonji: hey I’m right here.
Sasani: and the dragon stands alone with a kobold.
Scar: ill just leave you guys here then.
Lonji: My plan was to get swallowed
Sasani: you can still do that
Lonji: but you look so much tastier than me
Scar: never scare an alchemist. they pop.
Scar: could you just wrap your stone cloak around you and just wait a couple of days to be passed like a kidney stone
Alum: Not the escape route I was thinking out
Scar: so, the enemy sees Horell fly away scared into a wall, land on a rock and vomit
Lonji: and then high fives the vomit
Boss: ????
Alum: of course, a cow would have an alternate moovement
Horell: I create a Goorell.
Horell: Goorell jumps over to the next rock. he seems to have a goal in mind.
Lonji: you mean he seems to have a gooal.
GM: Scar tears up alum like captain America did to that log in that avengers movie.
Horell: I was not prepared for this today.
GM: you put the potted plant in your bag of holding
Lonji: but there is no oxygen in the bag
Horell: it’s a plant! it produces oxygen.
Lonji: !!!
Lonji: No I don’t. I have learned from my mistakes... learned a little from my mistakes.
Scar: learned to make new mistakes.
GM: you need a rage power to use Horell as an improvised weapon. you are not proficient with Horell.
Lonji: I’m getting the hang of this. IM A MAJESTIC ALBATROS!
Lonji: Also death from above in aquan: seagull attack
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2020-11-02, 11:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
- Location
- Western PA
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
A recent session had this gem. “Oh no it’s rhyming. It’s always bad when they rhyme.”
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2020-11-03, 07:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2019
- Location
- Somewhere over th rainbow
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2020-11-04, 08:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Bruta: You seem awfully calm about having your body stolen.
Gene: Dude, I need like, a dozen different medications to come close to balancing my fragile neurochemistry. Frankly, if they want it, they can freaking have it.Avatar by TinyMushroom.
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2020-11-09, 11:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
"I can substitute compassion with a mixture of water and coconut oil."
Previous avatar by Sgt. Pepper.
Previous avatar by Akrim.elf.
Current avatar by Cdr.Fallout
Old Desert Sayings, my RPG blog (mostly Pathfinder homebrew).
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2020-11-10, 12:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
Scar: you do realize that that doesn’t even damage me?
GM: *dejected* yes
Lonji: but it does make you feel slightly uncomfortable.
Alum: I’m sorry I just lobotomized your regent candidate.
Lonji: how do you know who is a peasant and who is a ninja dressed as a peasant.
Scar: you try to kill them. if it’s easy it’s a peasant.
Lonji: Can’t I just go BOO! and see if they try to kill me?
Scar: Don’t worry it’s just the village angry rock.
Lonji: I mean they attacked us, how smart could they be?
Horell: I can’t hit the broad side of a giant shark.
Horell: the kids are like "oh look. strangers. let’s shoot them".
Lonji: That’s our people.
GM: There were seven answers to that riddle and written reactions to each answer...
Scar: And we found an 8:th answer.
Lonji: We really need to start killing things soon. We are much more impressive at that.
We started strong but keep losing points the more we talk.
Alum: Ok. When I feel you get hurt I’ll come running.
Lonji: NO! that’s not the message. when I get hurt that means I’m at the castle.
Loni: I´ve lost the argument with myself.
Scar: You are wrong. I don’t know what you said but it is wrong.
Lonji: No. That’s a Lonji idea. Don’t do it.
Lonji: How dare he be human. that was his first mistake.
GM: The corpse of the boss twitches and a large creature rips its way out of the corpse like a suite that’s too small.
Horell: Hey! that’s my schtick.
GM: the druid looks at you with a look that says that you just killed his wife, his pet, and his assistant all at the same time.
Scar: That’s a very specific look.
Demon: Are any off you children?
Sasani: You can see all of us so that would make us aparent.
Demon: I’m literally from hell and that joke is the worst I’ve heard in 30 years.
Horell: Don’t take alum to hell. he will melt in the lava.
Demon: That’s a common misconception. hell is more of a humid heat. your thinking of Igneus, the elemental plane of fire.
Demon: Hell is more meat hooks and torture.
Horell: ok. thanks?
Horell: This is weird. I kind of feel sorry about fighting this demon. he’s being really polite and reasonable.
Alum: He was literally summoned here against his will.
Demon: It is nothing personal. I could just leave and find someone else to torture.
Lonji: We are so starved for interaction!
Sasani: This is the first time we’ve had a polite conversation in the middle of combat.
Lonji: IM FUELED BY ACID, BLOOD AND RAGE!
Demon: Why was I even summoned?
Horell: aww. I’m sorry mister demon.
Demon: Dude? really?
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2020-11-10, 01:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)
DARK PALADIN: I charge in amongst them.
GM: Roll to see if you do that without killing them.
DARK PALADIN: 2.
GM: Uh, no.
DARK PALADIN: Oh well! I shout EVERYONE LOVES A SLINKY as they hurtle down the sides of the pyramidEmpyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail
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2020-11-10, 05:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2019
- Location
- Somewhere over th rainbow
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2020-11-10, 05:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
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2020-11-10, 09:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2019
- Location
- Somewhere over th rainbow
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)