Who does Durkon want to marry less than Belkar?

[Kantaki]

It gets weirder if we consider that the OOTS has three or, possibly, if you count Banjo, four non-humanoid members (Blackwing, Mr. Scruffy and Bloodfeast). In that case, Belkar being fourth out of eight or nine isn't that big of a deal, but shame on you, Durkon! Shame on you!!!

Let's assume for my sanity's sake that the pets and the puppet aren't on Durkon's list.
I mean the raven can at least talk, but... No. Just No.

[The_Weirdo]

Let's assume for my sanity's sake that the pets and the puppet aren't on Durkon's list.
I mean the raven can at least talk, but... No. Just No.

The insanity of the many outweigh the sanity of the few or the one.

[Jannoire]

I should have seen this coming. But I didn't and so I let my guard down.

Which is exactly where you'd want your guard to be when you're dealt a kick...

[137beth]

1. Me
2. You
3. Roland St. Jude
4. Belkar
5. Me

You have Roland St. Jude in there but not Rawhide or The Giant?

[skim172]

It gets weirder if we consider that the OOTS has three or, possibly, if you count Banjo, four non-humanoid members (Blackwing, Mr. Scruffy and Bloodfeast). In that case, Belkar being fourth out of eight or nine isn't that big of a deal, but shame on you, Durkon! Shame on you!!!

Well, even though the Order members are humanoid, they're still biologically entirely separate species from Durkon. Stepping back from the standard fantasy romantic tropes, it's bizarre for Durkon to be attracted to any of them at all. They are completely different species. Why would Durkon be attracted to any of them? Just because they're roughly the same shape? Chimps superficially resemble humans, but somehow chimp-human romance hasn't quite blossomed the same way elf-human romance has in fantasy novels (which is for the best, as chimps are not caring lovers). My dog has the same general shape as a hyena, but I wouldn't recommend he pursue his chances. Yet it's practically the norm now - it's unusual if your fantasy setting doesn't feature interspecies hanky-panky.

We've seen odder matchups in the Stickverse. We know that half-orcs are a thing, as well as half-ogres, and reptile-human relationships have been hinted at, despite the biological hurdles that would need to be overcome there.

Heck, Roy has a long-term relationship with a creature from outside his dimension. A creature who superficially resembles a human, sure, but has a completely different makeup.

So my case here is that it's already unusual that Durkon would be considering any of the other members of the Order for romantic pairings. Adding Blackwing into the mix isn't what makes it weird - it's quite weird already.


Now, you could make the case that since humans and elves and dwarves and halflings and gnomes (and orcs and ogres) can interbreed and give birth to viable hybrid young, it's not that weird. They must be fairly closely related species. Like how Homo sapiens and Neanderthals first met up and decided to get it on. They're just closely related species having sexy hybrid relations.

To which I would reply - that's insane. Elves live for hundreds of years. Dwarves can see in the dark. Orcs have giant tusks sticking out of their jaws. This suggests they have incredibly different biologies from humans. There is no way these are all closely-related species, much less descendants from a recent common ancestor.

And furthermore, if all these species could interbreed and hybridize so easily - then surely the definitions between species would begin to break down quickly. Humans and elves breed so easily and readily - surely after a few geological ages, the two species would be rather well-blended, possibly to the point that they are indistinguishable. Similar to how Neanderthals eventually boinked themselves out of existence leading to modern man. Yet, in most fantasy, species are extremely, strongly differentiated - which just seems unlikely.


It's like fantasy authors never even considered the broad biological implausibilities of the bio-systems they were creating when writing their hawt elf-on-human love romances. I'm looking at you, Tolkien.

(And don't even get me started with vampire fiction. The undead have sexual desires? Do their glands even function?)

So, anyway, I guess I'm saying, "Durkon+Bloodfeast = aw yeah".

[CriticalFailure]

It's not really weird for occasional partnerships between humanoids to be a thing. I mean, ancient humans boned neanderthals and denisovans for real, so its not exactly dragons and magic level of suspension of disbelief.

Also, Haley is literally the only member of the Order Durkon as been shown to be attracted to.

[Jannoire]

Re Tolkien: If I'm not mistaken, there are not more than two hands full of children from elven and human parents, who could even choose to be mortal or elvish...

Just because elves and humans and dwarves and orks can produce offsprings, doesn't mean that every offspring is a mix. The vast majority will still bone another being of their race.

[hroþila]

I'm going to need a source for "humanoids are only superficially alike and they have completely different makeups". Also, evolution is not a thing in the OotS universe.

[Fyraltari]

I would say that what’s repulsive with zoophilia isn’t The interspeciesm per se, no matter the distance, but that the cognitive difference between the ‘partners’ make any form of romance (or consensual sex) impossible.

Meanwhile elves and dwarves, just like neaderthals, are close enough mentally to modern humans that it isn’t an issue.

[Dion]

Ok, but what about Banjo? I mean, Banjo is literally a god. Is it kind of weird that Durkon ranks Banjo above Belkar? Or is that just a thing, like Minrah and Thor?

[Fyraltari]

Re Tolkien: If I'm not mistaken, there are not more than two hands full of children from elven and human parents, who could even choose to be mortal or elvish...

Just because elves and humans and dwarves and orks can produce offsprings, doesn't mean that every offspring is a mix. The vast majority will still bone another being of their race.

There are for Men-Elves couple that produced children that I know of:

1) Beren (Man) and Lùthien (half Elf, half angel). After they both died they were resurrected by the Valar and Lùthien chose to come back as a (wo)Man. It’s only after that that they had a child, named Dior. Wether Dior was Man or Elf wasn’t made clear and he died too young for the reader to guess based on lifespan. His wife was Elven though, and their daughter was Elwing.

2) Tuor (Man) and Idril (Elf). Tuor was apparently turned into an Elf before he died. Anyway their child, Eärendil married Elwing and they had two kids Elrond and Elros. After Eärendil and Elwing broke the interdiction to go to the Undying Lands they, and their children were offered a choice between Man- and Elvenkind. They all chose Elven except Elros. He and his descendants (up to Aragorn) were Men no questions asked.
Elrond was an Elf and so were his wife (Celebrian) and children Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen.

3) Aragorn and Arwen. Arwen was offered the same choice as her father and grandparents and chose Men. Their children were Men.

4) Imrazôr (Man) and Mithrellas (Elf), their son Galador was the first Prince of Dol Amroth and Legolas can tell with a glance that his far away descendant Prince Imrahil has Elven blood.

So it seems to me that on Arda, when Men and Elves have children together, Mannish blood overrides Elvish one unless a deity intervenes.