Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Rater202]

*I cannot steal DNA from the fifty most fit men and women, 100 total, on each inhabited continent with "physical health and fitness," "general psychological stability," and "intellect" all controlled for the environment and socioeconomic status being the criteria for fitness to avoid biassing the collection results, and then use an advanced genetic algorithm to create the top 50 male and top 50 female specifies from all possible combinations of their genes (for both human DNA and the DNA of the mitochondria,) creating embryos based on those 100 genomes, splicing in Spider-Man's mutations and Wolverine's x-Gene complex, and exposing all 100 embryos to supersoldier serum prenatally before placing them in cryostasis in a pocket reality.
**Nor can I archive the entirety of human history, knowledge, and culture and culture in a massive quantum supercomputer and develop the means to implant this knowledge in the mind of a tank-bred human growing in a synthetic womb.
***Even if my goal is to ward off the possibility of human extinction by creating a breeding population of virtually immortal humans that cans survive in thrive in a wide variety of hostile environments so that, if the worst comes to pass, the embryos can insure that something at least descended of humanity survives.

[Telok]

* May not, when the DM ad-libs a "Sherman's Pizzaria", instantly 100% derail the plot by getting the party to set up "Panzer's Pizzaria" across the street and re-purpose the rigger's drones for pizza delivery & armed hijacking.

** May not complain that pizza "price wars" are perfectly normal when Lone Star notices the uptick in delivery drone tank combat.

[dspeyer]

* A Snow Crash based game should involve more than high-stakes pizza delivery
* Likewise a Dr McNinja based game

[vasilidor]

*I cannot steal DNA from the fifty most fit men and women, 100 total, on each inhabited continent with "physical health and fitness," "general psychological stability," and "intellect" all controlled for the environment and socioeconomic status being the criteria for fitness to avoid biassing the collection results, and then use an advanced genetic algorithm to create the top 50 male and top 50 female specifies from all possible combinations of their genes (for both human DNA and the DNA of the mitochondria,) creating embryos based on those 100 genomes, splicing in Spider-Man's mutations and Wolverine's x-Gene complex, and exposing all 100 embryos to supersoldier serum prenatally before placing them in cryostasis in a pocket reality.
**Nor can I archive the entirety of human history, knowledge, and culture and culture in a massive quantum supercomputer and develop the means to implant this knowledge in the mind of a tank-bred human growing in a synthetic womb.
***Even if my goal is to ward off the possibility of human extinction by creating a breeding population of virtually immortal humans that cans survive in thrive in a wide variety of hostile environments so that, if the worst comes to pass, the embryos can insure that something at least descended of humanity survives.

I love this and want to make a story out of it.

[JAL_1138]

*Despite substantial evidence to the contrary, being repeatedly woken up at God-knows-when in the morning by a pack of housecats apparently attempting to recreate the Dave Grohl vs Animal the Muppet drum battle does not cause SAN loss.

*Not allowed to just go to the psychiatrist in Call of Cthulhu.
**It’s the 20s, I’ll just get prescribed alcohol and narcotics instead of something that actually helps.
***Assuming the psychiatrist doesn’t also go mad when confronted with inarguable proof of the existential horrors we’ve seen or pages from the Necronomicon.
****Also assuming the psychiatrist isn’t a cultist.

*My character will get arrested for arson if I try just lobbing a molotov at the creepy abandoned house again.
**”Professional Arsonist” is not a valid character build.
***”The Greater Good” does not excuse setting half of Arkham on fire as the first option.
****Even if it would demonstrably save the whole world thrice over.

*Not allowed to run an alternate-universe Aliens campaign in which Weyland-Yutani’s official, written corporate policy on bioweapons is as follows:
1) DO NOT. WE MEAN IT, JUST DON’T.
2) If a single failure of lab security, whether by human error, mechanical failure, design flaw, or other reason for breach, would mean that everyone dies screaming, don’t mess with it.
3) The galaxy is littered with the corpses of people who have ignored the first two rules, including the company founder and a previous board of directors.

[Bohandas]

*My character will get arrested for arson if I try just lobbing a molotov at the creepy abandoned house again.
**”Professional Arsonist” is not a valid character build.
***”The Greater Good” does not excuse setting half of Arkham on fire as the first option.
****Even if it would demonstrably save the whole world thrice over.

In the novels that kind of thing actually how a lot of the characters that end up in the nuthouse end up in the nuthouse, not because they're actually nuts

[Rockphed]

*Despite substantial evidence to the contrary, being repeatedly woken up at God-knows-when in the morning by a pack of housecats apparently attempting to recreate the Dave Grohl vs Animal the Muppet drum battle does not cause SAN loss.

*Not allowed to just go to the psychiatrist in Call of Cthulhu.
**It’s the 20s, I’ll just get prescribed alcohol and narcotics instead of something that actually helps.
***Assuming the psychiatrist doesn’t also go mad when confronted with inarguable proof of the existential horrors we’ve seen or pages from the Necronomicon.
****Also assuming the psychiatrist isn’t a cultist.

*My character will get arrested for arson if I try just lobbing a molotov at the creepy abandoned house again.
**”Professional Arsonist” is not a valid character build.
***”The Greater Good” does not excuse setting half of Arkham on fire as the first option.
****Even if it would demonstrably save the whole world thrice over.

*Not allowed to run an alternate-universe Aliens campaign in which Weyland-Yutani’s official, written corporate policy on bioweapons is as follows:
1) DO NOT. WE MEAN IT, JUST DON’T.
2) If a single failure of lab security, whether by human error, mechanical failure, design flaw, or other reason for breach, would mean that everyone dies screaming, don’t mess with it.
3) The galaxy is littered with the corpses of people who have ignored the first two rules, including the company founder and a previous board of directors.

*Trying to rip the veil from the eyes of the ignorant by summoning shogoths will make things worse.

[TeChameleon]

*Trying to rip the veil from the eyes of the ignorant by summoning shogoths will make things worse.

* If you are ever in a situation where summoning shoggoths will improve matters even slightly, ignorance is the least of your problems.
** If you are in a situation where ignorance is the least of your problems, you're probably somewhere well South of 'screwed'.

[Laughing Dog]

*I may not name my character Genocide.
**That character should not live up to said name.
***... Especially not repeatedly.

And the final count is four.

*Despite substantial evidence to the contrary, being repeatedly woken up at God-knows-when in the morning by a pack of housecats apparently attempting to recreate the Dave Grohl vs Animal the Muppet drum battle does not cause SAN loss.

You too, huh?

[BisectedBrioche]

* While your rogue can have a higher athletics score than both the stone golem and the party member who just quaffed a potion of Giant's Strength, pointing it out's only funny once.

[noob]

* If you are ever in a situation where summoning shoggoths will improve matters even slightly, ignorance is the least of your problems.
** If you are in a situation where ignorance is the least of your problems, you're probably somewhere well South of 'screwed'.

Imagine the following case: a gigantic coalition of cults in daylight is close to ending the universe by awakening space time and none of the governments believes in the occult nor that those cultists are a threat.
Summon a shoggoth as a demonstration of the existence of the occult and it fixes the ignorance of the governments and they will probably help solve the problem with a lot of nukes and everyone is happy in a nuclear winter with radioactive sandstorms or something instead of not existing.
*** May not consider massive use of nukes to be a solution to all cultist related problems that are not already awakened and present elder ancients.

[Eldan]

I have a social contract with my Players. They don't mention Psychiatrists in Call of Cthulhu, and I don't mention Laudanum and Lobotomy.

[Rater202]

I have a social contract with my Players. They don't mention Psychiatrists in Call of Cthulhu, and I don't mention Laudanum and Lobotomy.

I mean, laudanum is basically just opium dissolved in alcohol.

It might actually, administered properly, help you stay sane in the face of eldritch horror in that you're too drunk and high for the horror to set in.

[Wookieetank]

I mean, laudanum is basically just opium dissolved in alcohol.

It might actually, administered properly, help you stay sane in the face of eldritch horror in that you're too drunk and high for the horror to set in.

*May not utter the phrase "Hold my laudanum and watch this"
**May not start a laudanum microbrewery in my basement.

[Telwar]

*May not utter the phrase "Hold my laudanum and watch this"
**May not start a laudanum microbrewery in my basement.

Note to self, remember the first phrase if/when I ever play a Deadlands game.

[Lord Raziere]

* God alignments are not "Uselessly Weak Good", "Powerful Jerk", "Omnipotent Lazy", "Unseen Useful" or "BBEG"
** If I'm the Chosen One, may not lazily sit around to wait until the universe explains/forces me to do exactly what it needs to me to do on the assumption that if I'm truly fated to succeed, it doesn't matter what I do anyways, rather than following vague clues that lead me on an adventure.
*** May not try to experiment with my chosen one status or question what happens if I go off the rails
**** Whenever a god says they can't interfere, may not make jokes about the Prime Directive.

Edit: * at the end of any adventure involving defeating the Joker, may not in the epilogue have the Joker rise from the dead then turn directly to the audience in an unnatural manner saying "Thank you, thank you! You have been a great audience. Were you not entertained? I sure was! I hope to see you again next show! Thank you and good night!"

[Socksy]

Someone's probably already said something like this, but

* No, casting Heat Metal will not stop the sword from bypassing my DR/Cold Iron.

[noob]

Someone's probably already said something like this, but

* No, casting Heat Metal will not stop the sword from bypassing my DR/Cold Iron.

** Should not argue that cold iron should get to use magic resistance against the heat metal spell.

[Anonymouswizard]

* There is no Adept School that charges up via anime marathons.

[danielxcutter]

Honestly, what the hell is cold iron?

[Lord Raziere]

Honestly, what the hell is cold iron?

Iron that is just pounded into shape without being heated at a forge. you can kinda see why it wouldn't be the most common thing to fight fair folk with from that alone.

* My College of Whispers Bard may not be a jester
** Even though mocking authority from the acceptable position of being a fool is their entire job.
*** "good-aligned heroic Joker" will never be a viable character concept.

[Metastachydium]

Honestly, what the hell is cold iron?

„This iron, mined deep underground, known for its effectiveness against fey creatures, is forged at a lower temperature to preserve its delicate properties.”

[Telwar]

* There is no Adept School that charges up via anime marathons.

** Nor is there a tradition that allows for a Mentor Spirit based on the Looney Tunes.
*** Especially not for Possession Mages.
**** Just because Space Jam exists doesn't mean you can be possessed by Michael Jordan.
***** Or now that Teen Titans Go Watches Space Jam exists, you can't get possessed by any DC superhero.
****** Though if you do somehow get to channel Superman, expect to not want to go on a shadowrun any more.

[Anonymouswizard]

** Nor is there a tradition that allows for a Mentor Spirit based on the Looney Tunes.
*** Especially not for Possession Mages.
**** Just because Space Jam exists doesn't mean you can be possessed by Michael Jordan.
***** Or now that Teen Titans Go Watches Space Jam exists, you can't get possessed by any DC superhero.
****** Though if you do for ant to channel Superman, expect to not want to go on a Shadowrun Amy more.

???

What does any of that have to do with Unknown Armies?

[Telwar]

???

What does any of that have to do with Unknown Armies?

Almost nothing, except the word "Adept," and the anime specifically reminded me of a player.

[dspeyer]

* There is no Adept School that charges up via anime marathons.

** My character cannot be based on Greg from El Goonish Shive
*** Nor can I just play him
**** There is not EGS RPG
***** Nor should I homebrew one

[noob]

** My character cannot be based on Greg from El Goonish Shive
*** Nor can I just play him
**** There is not EGS RPG
***** Nor should I homebrew one

****** You should not just use mutants and masterminds to simulate EGS either?

[Lord Raziere]

****** You should not just use mutants and masterminds to simulate EGS either?

******* May not point out that EGS would probably be best represented as a Fate Accelerated variant with approaches like "Drama, Comedy, Transformation, Awkwardness, Exposition, and Shipping"
******** Or as a Chuubo's game, especially when despite owning Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-granting Engine, barely know how the system works myself

[Eldan]

* There is no Adept School that charges up via anime marathons.

Excuse me, Videomancy?!

[Anonymouswizard]

Excuse me, Videomancy?!

That's still a thing?

Also, while Videomancers can charge up from reruns, it doesn't fit the image I had if a mage surrounded by open DVD cases trying to get charges.