Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Bohandas]

*Girl Genius jagermonsters are not to be conflated with GWAR jagermonstas

EDIT:

*animal sacrifice is not "like when your dog drops a dead squirrel at your feet"

[Telok]

The other people at the table only get the wrong idea when you mention nuclear powered support undergarments.

[Lord Raziere]

* There is no such thing as "Ragelightenment"
** It is not when you get so angry at the entire world you find a measure of peace in fury and can both be furious and at peace with the world at the same time
*** I do not know what Banner meant in Avengers when he said he was "always angry"
**** Nor do I understand how Banner achieved his hulk fusion in Endgame.

* may not start with "a Hinata that doesn't need no man" and end with "speedster hyuuga teleporter assassin ninja on par with Minato"

* may not start with "cynical lesbian cyborg with energy draining hands" and end with "paragon superheroine who fights using cosplay martial arts whose ultimate form is Asriel Dreamurr from Undertale"

[danielxcutter]

...I only get about half of those references, can you enlighten me?

[Lord Raziere]

...I only get about half of those references, can you enlighten me?

first few is just me making a joke about tranquil fury with some avengers references thrown in

the second is just referencing Hinata Hyuuga (a shy demure, cute and compassionate girl) while a character I like has no real motivation beyond being in love with Naruto. Minato is the Fourth Hokage and is basically both incredibly fast and has a power to teleport around and was so deadly in war his enemies told their soldiers to run from him on sight.

the third is just me referencing a character I play and making a joke about how you'd never someone imagine as cynical and snarky as her to fight using cosplay from something as idealistic as Undertale's pacifist route.

Spoiler: spoilers I think, has it been long enough where this is not necessary anymore?

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Asriel in specific, is a final boss goat-guy who turns into a rainbow angel to fight you in the most anime-tastic fight of the game.

* may not explain the joke.

[Anonymouswizard]

The other people at the table only get the wrong idea when you mention nuclear powered support undergarments.

I mean, presumably this is aabout having a fission reactor in your knickers so that you can recharge your raygun in emergency situations.

* Explosive undergarments are to be removed before use.
** Even if the Fighter is perfectly positioned.

[KorvinStarmast]

* May no longer burn another charge from the wand of paralysis, on an air elemental, after the DM has pointed out that the earth elemental didn't need to roll a save versus the wand when I tried to zapp it with the wand.

Spoiler: my lame excuse

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(Look, I was subbing in for the evoker's usual player. Am I really supposed to know all of the fiddly bits, like elementals being immune to the paralyzed condition?

** may no longer urinate into the lead coffin, immediately after the cleric opens it.

Spoiler: My previous lame excuse

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(Was playing for the Barbarian during the previous session, and it seemed like a good idea at the time)

[Rater202]

There is no degree of transhumanism or supernatural power that excludes me from the need to wear pants.

[danielxcutter]

There is no degree of transhumanism or supernatural power that excludes me from the need to wear pants.

**Dresses may or may not be acceptable.
***Look, just cover up your naughty parts with something, alright?

[Tohron]

***Look, just cover up your naughty parts with something, alright?

****Eunuchs are not excluded from this rule

[KorvinStarmast]

**Dresses may or may not be acceptable.
***Look, just cover up your naughty parts with something, alright?

A kilt isn't a dress, and it may even be stylish. For warmer climes, a toga may suffice.

[Rater202]

*If I find a genie that actually grants wishes to the best of it's ability without actively trying to screw you, I can't use my three wishes on "fast, secure, and reliable internet access on all my devices. For the heating and air conditioning in my house to always work properly. solar panels on my house that will never need to be repaired or replaced."
**'Becuase simple quality of life things like that are less likely to go wrong than something big' is not an excuse.

[danielxcutter]

Has anyone thought that if it’s possible and the genie isn’t an ass, they want to free them?

[Bohandas]

*Bardic magic does not give me control over the elements of earth, wind, and fire

[danielxcutter]

I’m pretty sure it literally can with the right build, actually.

[Anonymouswizard]

*If I find a genie that actually grants wishes to the best of it's ability without actively trying to screw you, I can't use my three wishes on "fast, secure, and reliable internet access on all my devices. For the heating and air conditioning in my house to always work properly. solar panels on my house that will never need to be repaired or replaced."
**'Becuase simple quality of life things like that are less likely to go wrong than something big' is not an excuse.

You have enough wishes left? I thought wish one would be good you not to have to wear pants.

[thorr-kan]

Has anyone thought that if it’s possible and the genie isn’t an ass, they want to free them?

I run an 2E Al-Qadim campaign, heavy on the genies. The consequences-free wishes are often offered after the genie has been freed. So it's not necessary to free them.

[Bohandas]

*The rat-thing from Dreams In The Witch House did not go on to become Mickey Mouse

[Telok]

*The rat-thing from Dreams In The Witch House did not go on to become Mickey Mouse

Oh yay, a new headcannon.

* The phrase "possession is 9/10s of the law" is apparently insufficent when discovered in bed with the mayor's significant other.

[danielxcutter]

Oh yay, a new headcannon.

* The phrase "possession is 9/10s of the law" is apparently insufficent when discovered in bed with the mayor's significant other.

**Being a ghost doesn't help with it.

[Rater202]

The solution to a group of hostile werewolves meeting in the field outside my town is not "charge into their circle atop a suped-up ATV, brandishing a giant-ass anime sword, while a jury-rigged boombox/iPod hybrid is stapped to the back and is blaring a constant loop of heavy metal version of the King of The Hill theme at ear-injuring volume."

[Anonymouswizard]

* The villain's password is not 'incorrect' and I should stop typing it in and make a hacking roll.


* It doesn't matter if the rules say that transforming destroys them, my werewolf must still wear trousers.

[Rockphed]

* The villain's password is not 'incorrect' and I should stop typing it in and make a hacking roll.


* It doesn't matter if the rules say that transforming destroys them, my werewolf must still wear trousers.

** Continued mentions of my trouserless state with a creepy smirk will result in my losing spell slots to summon up pants.

[TeChameleon]

* When faced with a difficult battle, made more difficult by everyone needing to control three PCs at once, the correct response is not 'bring in more than a dozen familiars, summons, awakened trees, etc.'
* Speaking of difficult battles, I am no longer allowed to turn a tough boss fight into a single failed Charisma check.
* I am also no longer allowed to forget about having one of the only reliable sources of radiant damage in the party

[Anonymouswizard]

** Continued mentions of my trouserless state with a creepy smirk will result in my losing spell slots to summon up pants.

*** Or Rites slots to learn the Rite of Dedication, as appropriate.

Was actually thinking more Werewolf: the Apocalypse/Forsaken 1e, where a character has to spend build resources for the party to retain access to clothes when transforming back. The main benefit was actually retaining access to your phone and wallet, which required limiting it to just trousers.

I suspect that a lot of lady Uratha have spare t-shirts stuffed in their back pockets. Although 2e made it relates to Harmony instead of a rite and removed the need to limit it to one garment to keep your stuff.

On that note:
* My characters are not allowed to have nudity taboos that differ from the country we're playing in.
** Even if they make practical sender.

[Bohandas]

* When faced with a difficult battle, made more difficult by everyone needing to control three PCs at once, the correct response is not 'bring in more than a dozen ... awakened trees, etc.'

**The fact that they did it in Lord of the Rings is not an excuse

[Rockphed]

**The fact that they did it in Lord of the Rings is not an excuse

LOTR didn't bring in awakened trees to help a battle. They brought in an angry forest to cut off the orcs' retreat.

[Eldan]

That was a unit of treants casting Liveoak, obviously. So they are technically animated trees.

[Anonymouswizard]

**The fact that they did it in Lord of the Rings is not an excuse

*** Not even if the trees are singing.
**** I'm still banned from singing.

[thorr-kan]

*** Not even if the trees are singing.
**** I'm still banned from singing.

*****My singing voice has been declared a "cruel and unusual punishment" as defined by the Geneva Conventions (IRL!). Any attempt to open up that can of bardic whup-@$$ will result in authorized responses up to, and including, player vs. player violence and WMDs.

My Voice Is Not A Toy.

So, my bards are instrumentalists, chanters, or orators. I can fake those.