Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[DrewID]

* Not allowed to combine twin las cannon, zen archery, and buttock enhancement surgery into one character in other people's games.

I want to know, but I don't want to know.

Tax:
* I am not allowed to play ANOTHER bard. In a Classic Traveller "Mercenary Unit" campaign.

DrewID

[Rater202]

In a game based on Fate/, I cannot play an expertly created homunculus who was painstakingly crafted, trained, conditioned, and educated to be the perfect vessel for one specific servant in order to tap their abilities to a degree far beyond what they'd normally be capable of.

[Rockphed]

* I cannot take profession (slave)
** I cannot add points to profession (slave driver) on a lawful good character.

[danielxcutter]

* I cannot take profession (slave)
** I cannot add points to profession (slave driver) on a lawful good character.

I mean, if you decided to no longer be one in your backstory...

[Telok]

I want to know, but I don't want to know.

Dungeons the Dragoning 40k 7e, an unholy monstrosity of a game animated by bile & parody from the mutilated corpses of half a dozen other games. Of course its perfectly playable & works alright with a decent DM.

* I should not start my character with full ranks of Fame(mass murdering genocidal war criminal). That's something to pick up in play.

[Bohandas]

*The verbal component for the spell is not "Fakeus Latinus"
**Or "Igpay Antilay"
***"Lingua Mortua" is acceptable, but only for Power Word Kill

[RedMage125]

*The verbal component for the spell is not "Fakeus Latinus"
**Or "Igpay Antilay"
***"Lingua Mortua" is acceptable, but only for Power Word Kill

In the same vein...
*the verbal component for the spell Silence is not "STFU".
**the verbal component for Charm Person is not (Joey from Friends imitation) "How YOU doin'?".
***the verbal component for Sleep is not any form of lullaby.
****the verbal component for Raise Dead shall not, under any circumstances, be a Frankenstein impersonation.

[Telok]

It took months...

* Despite over 30 years of tradition, taking a phrase, moving some spaces, and using it as a character name, is now no longer allowed.

** Gorge Oushun Nkameat, Toose Eksyforth Isparty, and Iamadu Fusg Uber are off the table.

[Bohandas]

***the verbal component for Sleep is not any form of lullaby.

****and definitely not Enter Sandman

[Anonymouswizard]

* I am allowed to make Sparky inventions that don't double as kettles.
** Including ones where it's not the primary purpose.

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may no longer sing/perform MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This", and narrate that I dance when I Dodge {action} while a ghast tries to attack me.

** I may no longer shout out "Hammer Time" when the cleric subsequently finishes off the ghast with a blow from his warhammer on his next turn.

Spoiler: why I can't do this

Show

The reason I can't do this anymore is that neither of the other two players were born when that song came out.

[thorr-kan]

* I may no longer sing/perform MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This", and narrate that I dance when I Dodge {action} while a ghast tries to attack me.

** I may no longer shout out "Hammer Time" when the cleric subsequently finishes off the ghast with a blow from his warhammer on his next turn.

Spoiler: why I can't do this

Show

The reason I can't do this anymore is that neither of the other two players were born when that song came out.

That's a Them Problem, not a U Problem, mate. Keep it real, and educate them on what fun music is.

[KorvinStarmast]

That's a Them Problem, not a U Problem, mate. Keep it real, and educate them on what fun music is.

A problem with doing a funny thing that relies on a cultural reference, but the audience has no grounding in the reference, is that I might find it funny, but the joke/attempted jest, won't land.

And yes, I cracked myself up.

[Rockphed]

In the same vein...
***the verbal component for Sleep is not any form of lullaby.

Lullabies are obviously the verbal components of fear causing spells, not sleep spells.

[thorr-kan]

A problem with doing a funny thing that relies on a cultural reference, but the audience has no grounding in the reference, is that I might find it funny, but the joke/attempted jest, won't land.

And yes, I cracked myself up.

Still a Them Problem. :)

*Not allowed to make my half-orc wrasslin' bard the most efficient melee-fighter AND an efficient spellcaster AND politest member of the party.

But dang, he was fun to play.

[Socksy]

* If the Kobold Barbarian is consistently rolling the highest on Recall Knowledge checks, and he has a +0 modifier, the entire party needs to be rebuilt.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Flesh shaping magic can be used for things other than changing sex on a whim.

[Lord Raziere]

* Flesh shaping magic can be used for things other than changing sex on a whim.

** may not be confused as to why you would use it again after turning female.

* when called an edgelord, my response may be "well of course I am, I wield a lot of cool swords!"
** when people say they want to stay away from the edginess may not reply "well of course, you don't want to be near cliffs"
*** May not a dark black-clothed being with dark powers and be completely incapable of understanding or knowing what an edgelord is and misunderstand it every time no matter how many times others explain it to me.
**** may not be confused as to why people keep calling me a cliff-leader.
***** clearly I'm the Queen Of All Precipices, a much more fitting title.

* may not counter someone being chosen by the sun with me being chosen by a supermassive black hole
** May not fight their sun power with gravity and darkness powers

[Anonymouswizard]

** may not be confused as to why you would use it again after turning female.

Because sometimes it's useful to look like a different lady

***** clearly I'm the Queen Of All Precipices, a much more fitting title.

I might steal that title for a deity in a fantasy game.

[thorr-kan]

* If the Kobold Barbarian is consistently rolling the highest on Recall Knowledge checks, and he has a +0 modifier, the entire party needs to be rebuilt.

Maybe.

Or maybe their dice need to be...chastened. Pour encourager les autres, of course.

[noob]

** may not be confused as to why you would use it again after turning female.

* when called an edgelord, my response may be "well of course I am, I wield a lot of cool swords!"
** when people say they want to stay away from the edginess may not reply "well of course, you don't want to be near cliffs"
*** May not a dark black-clothed being with dark powers and be completely incapable of understanding or knowing what an edgelord is and misunderstand it every time no matter how many times others explain it to me.
**** may not be confused as to why people keep calling me a cliff-leader.
***** clearly I'm the Queen Of All Precipices, a much more fitting title.

* may not counter someone being chosen by the sun with me being chosen by a supermassive black hole
** May not fight their sun power with gravity and darkness powers

******may not assume both series of "may no longer do" are related by a word game about being dense.

[Telok]

* Not allowed to panic the DM by asking NPCs what is further down the road that continues on past our current objective.

** Not allowed to combo mass invisibility, lots and lots of paralytic contact poison, temporary poison immunity, plus dirty laundry, just to steamroll a dungeon full of mind flayers.

[Anonymouswizard]

* The power to make anything more like a kettle is banned.
** Especially if I insist on making my standard combat move 'pour water into enemy's mouth, activate power'.

[Rater202]

Pants are not for weaklings.

[Rockphed]

Pants are not for weaklings.

What are you talking about? Real men wear kilts!

** I am forbidden to dress my character below the waist in anything that does not translate to "Pantaloons".
*** My character's motivation cannot be to find the key that will remove their pants.
**** Turning into a mountain of living flame will still not remove my pants.
***** My new motivation cannot be to discover the magic behind my pants.


* I am not allowed to play bagpipe music "for ambiance".
** I am definitely not allowed to play the bagpipes during a session "to get into character".
*** I am not allowed to equip my bard with bagpipes.

[RedMage125]

*** I am not allowed to equip my bard with bagpipes.

Awww...my very first 5e character was a dragonborn Valor Bard. He used a hunting horn for his instrument that he cast spells with in combat (low note for Sleep, sharp blast for Thunderwave), but his out-of-combat musical instrument of choice was bagpipes.

Something about a 6'7" dragon-man playing bagpipes struck my fellow players as hilarious, for some reason.

[KorvinStarmast]

... dragonborn Valor Bard. He used a hunting horn for his instrument that he cast spells with in combat (low note for Sleep, sharp blast for Thunderwave), but his out-of-combat musical instrument of choice was bagpipes.

Something about a 6'7" dragon-man playing bagpipes struck my fellow players as hilarious, for some reason.

I may not respec my current character to be a bard like this. (Because I played a bard in the last campaign, and I promised not to bard this one).

[TeChameleon]

* No longer allowed to forget prisoners in a giant cloud of mutagenic gas
** Especially since we hadn't gotten around to questioning them yet.
*** Not allowed to be surprised when they end up a) looking like something from the Far Realms and b) somewhat unhappy with us (whee, tentacles).

* Trivializing yet another boss encounter with Stunning Strike is allowed, albeit just barely.
** Calling it the 'boss off-switch' is, perhaps, pushing it.

[Telok]

* No longer allowed to forget prisoners in a giant cloud of mutagenic gas
** Especially since we hadn't gotten around to questioning them yet.

Pfft. Its not like you buried them in a shipping container with a week of supplies and then forgot about them for a month...

Having checked:
* Not allowed to give the "is it a my little pony name or an adult film star name" quiz when minors are in the room.

[BisectedBrioche]

**I should not mention a magical girl rogue subclass without some link for others to peruse
***pretty please?

Sorry, I missed this reply. I dug up the link: Here