Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Lord Raziere]

* May not challenge people to say "hirkubupalupagus" five times fast

* May not attempt to blatantly make characters from other rpg settings in DnD because I can't find groups for them
** My rogue/monk/warlock is not an Infernal Exalted, also this is not gestalt
*** My Wizard is not a Free Council Acanthus mage from WoD
**** my kensei monk is not a jedi and they do not have a sword enhanced with magic to be a lightsaber
***** may not try to make Havel the Rock from Dark souls by blatantly giving them armor and a shield with an AC of "Yes"
****** may not try to sneak in a Death Knight from WoW....no, I don't mean an Oath of whatever paladin, a literal custom death knight wow class for dnd 5e
******* My cleric cannot worship a self-created Nobilis whose Estate is "Secrets Revealed"
******** my genie warlock may not be a dragon-blooded exalted who is confused why his exalted powers are working differently.

* may not attempt to blatantly crossover DnD with any other ttrpg while in game
** especially while I'm not the GM
*** my secret is not that I am not actually a Red/Blue mana planeswalker

* if its from Elden Ring, its not allowed
** my rogue may not have weapons to inflict bleed on people
*** especially if its dual-wielding red katanas
**** may not have a crossbow that shoots three bolts at a time
***** my wizard may not have a sword whose damage bonus come from Int instead of Strength
****** or cast a spell that creates a magic sword of force to attack in melee.....and has reach

[Bohandas]

*Just because the politician offered us his thoughts and prayers does not mean he's secretly a powerful psion/cleric

*The verbal component for water elemental swarm is not "piso mojado"
**nor is it the verbal component for the grease spell

[Rater202]

*The Holy Grail War is not an excuse to get piano lessons from Mozart.

[Eldan]

*The Holy Grail War is not an excuse to get piano lessons from Mozart.

Look, magical duels are fun and all, but if I could summon anyone from history, I'd sure as hell not use that power for that.

[Telok]

* So not allowed character to to be under a curse that makes nobody ever believe me when I tell the truth.

"I am not a minor noble of the house of Foo-bob and you must not let me in."
"That's a good disguise but you're early for the masquerade ball. If you go right and down the hall there's a library you can wait in."

[Bohandas]

*The contagion spell can only cause the diseases listed in the spell descriptions. It cannot be used to give people incontinence, irritable bowel syndrome, ED, or the clap.

[RedMage125]

*The contagion spell can only cause the diseases listed in the spell descriptions. It cannot be used to give people incontinence, irritable bowel syndrome, ED, or the clap.

There's a story here. And I feel like it's a good one.

[Bohandas]

*Baator's generals are the "Dark Eight" not the "Fell Eight"

[danielxcutter]

*Baator's generals are the "Dark Eight" not the "Fell Eight"

Am I missing a reference?

[PhoenixPhyre]

Am I missing a reference?

Spoiler: guess

Show

Probably riffing on "********", aka X on male oral sexual activity

[Pauly]

*Baator's generals are the "Dark Eight" not the "Fell Eight"

** May not play an escaped slave whose previous owner was Señor Bates.
*** May not name said character Harry Palmer.

[Rater202]

My Stand cannot be "Electric Love" or "Naked Mole Rap"

[Anonymouswizard]

* I can not take the Microbiology skill if I've invested points in Spark.

[Rater202]

"What if the Cobra Unit was the Ginyu Force?" is not a question that ever needed answering.

[Bohandas]

*May not describe the Bene Geserrit as "a cult of drugged out crypto-**** prostitutes"
**Even though it all fits if you've read the book

[Telok]

*May not describe the Bene Geserrit as "a cult of drugged out crypto-**** prostitutes"
**Even though it all fits if you've read the book

No, thats pretty much spot on. Might add 'that mostly just screws around with politicians'.

* My next supers character cannot be an up-sized radioactive time-clone of William the Conquerer. Because "Big O'l Hot Willy" has not been an appropriate superhero name since junior high.

[PhoenixPhyre]

* My players aren't allowed to give me reasons to start mucking around with time, time-travel, and alternate timelines, especially not with weird aberrations, fiends, and dragons involved (things get too messy).
** Playing a time wizard, a boy with a dragon, a chaos-spawned aberration/mutant, and a paladin dedicated to eradicating fiends counts as giving me reasons.
*** Not allowed to post :popcorn: emoji in chat while they're panicking about possible butterfly effects. Especially because I know that it's WAY too late for that.

[KorvinStarmast]

* My players aren't allowed to give me reasons to start mucking around with time, time-travel, and alternate timelines, especially not with weird aberrations, fiends, and dragons involved (things get too messy).
** Playing a time wizard, a boy with a dragon, a chaos-spawned aberration/mutant, and a paladin dedicated to eradicating fiends counts as giving me reasons.
*** Not allowed to post :popcorn: emoji in chat while they're panicking about possible butterfly effects. Especially because I know that it's WAY too late for that.

They agonize and worry too much.
* Am so allowed to remind them to engage with the content

** Not allowed to secretly encourage the DM to keep it up with the :popcorn: emoji move, as it amuses me perhaps a little too much.

[Socksy]

* DCs above 15 are not illegal in Breachill
** Nor are they against my religion

[Jervis]

* I am not allowed to life drain every creature in a 621 mile radius to gain arbitrary HP anymore. Unless it’s funny

[Lord Torath]

* I am not allowed to life drain every creature in a 621 mile radius to gain arbitrary HP anymore. Unless it’s funny

** What do you mean? Of course it's always funny!

[KorvinStarmast]

** What do you mean? Of course it's always funny!

Or, if it's Dark Sun, it's Tuesday.

[Rater202]

*The Holy Grail War is not an excuse to get piano lessons from Mozart.

*It's also not an opportunity to stage a production of The Phantom of Th eOpera starring the actual Phantom.
**No, seriously, do you have any idea how terrible an idea that is?

[Rockphed]

* The hypothetical love-child between Smeagol, Danny Ocean, Indiana Jones, and a gold-standard obsessed politician is not Midas.
** Nor does he get any bonuses to sensing gold or other treasure.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not make a setting called "Friendpunk"
** the world is not ruled by jerks who utilize the power of friendship to gang up on people and beat them with superior numbers and call in connections to do things for them like cowards when they can't do it themselves
*** the lower class of this world is not called the "The Lonely" who are all bad at social skills in some way
**** this worlds cybernetics may not give people great power by trapping people in your cyber arm or something and using stockholm syndrome to make them be your friends
***** criminal gangs by not consist of roving "friends" who us their friendship agreements to enforce their rule over their territory.
****** May not try to do a similar setting for the power of love.
******* May not try to figure out what would happen if other such positive forces were turned into ways to abuse power and rule from on high.

[Bohandas]

*Yes, it's true that you can't spell "cocaine" without "AI", but I still don't think a drug addicted robot makes much sense

[danielxcutter]

Wasn't there one in Robocop 2?

[Rater202]

Wasn't there one in Robocop 2?

1: There was a human brain in there, so technically a cyborg even if the machine part of the body only superficially resembled a traditional humanoid at that point.

2: He was technically addicted to a fictional drug called "nuke."

[Anonymouswizard]

* I can't switch sex more than once a scene.

[Telok]

Not allowed to use "pass the taser*" instead of dice rolling.

* ok, so its one of the little shock proddies using a few 9v batts and nowhere near as fun as a Thomas A Swift Electric Rifle. Still not allowed.