Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Rater202]

* My Superhero Origin can't be that I'm a little kid kidnapped by a mad scientist and infused with nanomachines, not unlike the exabytes from DCUO, containing the DNA, skills, knowledge, mystical or technological information, memories, and metahuman energy of Steppenwolf, Harley Quinn, Atrocitus, Professor Zoom, Alkyone, and The Marshal to create an evil counterpart of Shazam who none the less dwarfs the original in power and skill.
** "I wanted a Batman villain" does not adequately explain why Harley is lumped in with those powerhouses.
***The reason I'm a hero instead of a villain was "the idiot forgot to brainwash me."
****The explanation for how having the knowledge and memories of all of those villains and psychoses didn't drive me insane shouldn't be "uhduhnuh."
*****The powers shouldn't be dormant until I shout "Shazam!" which trigers a horrific, Akira-esque biomechanical metamorphosis.
******Said metamorphosis shouldn't culminate into a standard "ideal of fitness and beauty" adult superhero body.
*******I can't be incredibly cheerful about all of the above.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not turn the billionaire-playboy corporation-owning superhero archetype into a figurative form of landed nobility like a samurai or a knight
** the city they work in may not be the land they defend
*** Batman getting a Robin to train isn't just a knight getting a squire
**** may not make billionaire heroes fight each other over cities out of perceiving each other of doing badly at defending them from crime
***** May not recreate game of thrones or the Sengoku Jidai out of corporate superheroes fighting to bring order to the world.

[Anonymouswizard]

* My superhero concept cannot be 'I get short term powers whenever I'm exposed to toxic waste'.

* 'There are problems you can't solve with a spell' is not an invitation to abuse the ritual magic rules.

[thorr-kan]

When I want to point out a location on the lower peninsula, I point to my right hand. When I want to point to a location on the upper peninsula I point to my left hand. It isn't as good a map but it works decently. Houghton is on my right thumb knuckle. Green bay is on the webbing between my right ring and pinky fingers. (I may have accidentally annexed Green Bay and the peninsula south of it now that I look at a proper map). No, what he cannot do is teleport to Isle Royale.

1. Hold your left hand horizontal, fingertips pointing right.
2. Raise your thumb. That's the Keweenaw Peninsula.
3. Curl your pointer finger. That's the rest of the Superior shore.
4. Leave you middle and ring fingers. Those are St. Ignace and the Soo.
5. Scissor your pinky out as far as is comfortable. That's the point of land ending in Menominee.

I have NOT put too much thought into this over the years.

I'm pleasantly surprised at the number of the times I've made this gesture in response to the Mitten and gotten the response, "Oh, a Yooper!" *I* don't think it's obvious, but other Michiganders sure do recognize it.

*The Mitten can also double as an ID for 'sconsi if you squint.
**Ohioman is a punk. (Both my sisters-in-law married Buckeyes. I am morally obligated to give them grief.)

* may not make a superhero campaign of a team of new villains that try to infiltrate a big superhero organization separately and are all assigned to work together. Each one thinking the other four are heroes.
** they may not try to pass for heroes and end up gradually becoming heroes and comrades for real.
*** may not find themselves facing a problem of what do about their double agent status to the five villain organizations they came from and keeping the secret of their spy status to each other and the superhero organization they're apart of.

Are you kidding? I'd play the Hell outta that campaign. With the right kind of players, it'd be the right kind of PvP at its finest. Granted, you need the right group.

[Wookieetank]

Are you kidding? I'd play the Hell outta that campaign. With the right kind of players, it'd be the right kind of PvP at its finest. Granted, you need the right group.

Sounds like Paranoia, but with superheroes. Really ends up with less PVP and more scheming behind each other's backs. Is delightful chaotic fun.

*Escaping from alpha complex when a mission goes south is poor form.
**Making friends with the city sized cockroach the DM was expecting us to use the experimental weapon we stole on, is rude apparently.
***Riding the cockroach into battle against alpha complex, and using said experimental weapon as our main form of attack is just rubbing salt in the wound.

[thorr-kan]

Sounds like Paranoia, but with superheroes. Really ends up with less PVP and more scheming behind each other's backs. Is delightful chaotic fun.

*Escaping from alpha complex when a mission goes south is poor form.
**Making friends with the city sized cockroach the DM was expecting us to use the experimental weapon we stole on, is rude apparently.
***Riding the cockroach into battle against alpha complex, and using said experimental weapon as our main form of attack is just rubbing salt in the wound.

Who says you can't win RPGs?

*Old Man Henderson is a bad example for "winning RPGs?"
**I think the DM might be a traitor, Friend Computer!

[Wookieetank]

Who says you can't win RPGs?

I think we ended up winning and losing at about the same time. Friend Computer sent out nuke equipped bombers from alpha complex, incinerating the party, and making the cockroach slightly larger (and the only survivor from the whole ordeal).

[Personification]

Who says you can't win RPGs?

*Old Man Henderson is a bad example for "winning RPGs?"
**I think the DM might be a traitor, Friend Computer!

***I may not shut down Alpha complex by logic bombing Friend Computer by convincing it that it is a Communist

[Telok]

I think we ended up winning and losing at about the same time. Friend Computer sent out nuke equipped bombers from alpha complex, incinerating the party, and making the cockroach slightly larger (and the only survivor from the whole ordeal).

Sounds like a win to me.

Unrelated, I may soon-ish get banned from making my own settings. Only just over 20 crystal spheres out of almost 300 on the map and already I've written the phrase "giant toe moon with deranged vampire pirate king".

[Bohandas]

*"the real treasure is friendship" is not an excuse to bury my pirate crew alive

[Quetzalogic]

Yes, yes it is the one. I may have gotten a little carried away there. Or, as my players pointed out, a whole lot carried away.

* I am not allowed to increase the size of the Ravager by a factor of 100 just because I found it inconceivable that a puny little beholder "only" a mile across could destroy one whole world, let alone hundreds of worlds across multiple spheres.

PCs vs. Unicron sounds like a great campaign TBH.

[Spore]

PCs vs. Unicron sounds like a great campaign TBH.

I don't even know if Transformers isn't just a giant D&D campaign that happens to be transforming robots.
* Having a transformer ponder what was first, the vehicle or the robot is NOT locking them in a logical loop.
** Seriously, Quintesson slave lords are basically just mindflayers crossed with Ferengi.
*** Sufficiently developed robot magic is indistinguishable from mortal magic.
**** I am not to try and technobabble my way out of a deus ex machina plot device to explain how it is not magical and totally rooted in this world's lore.
***** The term deus ex machina is especially avoided for deities born from advanced AIs saving the heroes.
****** That is IT. The Xenoblade franchise would like to have a word with you. Back in that alley where the Yakuza bodyguards stand.

[danielxcutter]

To be entirely honest giant robots feels very Artificer. Or Wizard/Sorcerer, if PCs can make golems in 5e.

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may no longer allow my Griffon to partake of the moonshine that the druids in my barony brew if I want to fly on him after the meeting.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not forge and wield a sword called the Ridicublade
** The sword may not start as a buster-sword sized sword
*** May not get larger, more powerful and more ridiculous every time someone points out how ridiculous it is
**** May not only be wielded by someone who likes it unironically

* May not make a legendary super katana that only functions as indestructible all-cutting super sword if the wielder unironically likes that myth
** Ironic or exploitative mindsets trying to game it may not get punished for pretending to believe

* may not make a Blade of Irony for the ironic or comedic minded
** The blade may not ironically, be unable to cut anything and in fact fuses things together or attaches them as it passes through

* may not make an Antimeme Blade that gets permanently stronger every time you use to kill someone who says a meme within you presence within the minute they say it
** the blade may not kill the wielder if they utter any meme themselves while they wield it.

[PhoenixPhyre]

* the Blade of Irony can't be dull and flat, in order to better remove wrinkles.
** It also can't just be a normal sword made of the metal Fe.

[danielxcutter]

* May not forge and wield a sword called the Ridicublade
** The sword may not start as a buster-sword sized sword
*** May not get larger, more powerful and more ridiculous every time someone points out how ridiculous it is
**** May not only be wielded by someone who likes it unironically

* May not make a legendary super katana that only functions as indestructible all-cutting super sword if the wielder unironically likes that myth
** Ironic or exploitative mindsets trying to game it may not get punished for pretending to believe

* may not make a Blade of Irony for the ironic or comedic minded
** The blade may not ironically, be unable to cut anything and in fact fuses things together or attaches them as it passes through

* may not make an Antimeme Blade that gets permanently stronger every time you use to kill someone who says a meme within you presence within the minute they say it
** the blade may not kill the wielder if they utter any meme themselves while they wield it.

Re: Blade of Irony, there was this LitRPG where one of the swords was a BFS... with 1 attack, though incredibly durable. Turns out it symbolized the metal used for a sword, and the flaw in the concept(loooooong story).

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may no longer have the NPC transmuter, whom the party rescued but whom they asked me to control since none of them has ever run a wizard, cast Animate Objects on ten arrows from the party monk's quiver.

** I may no longer refer to that as Psychotic Psinger Psewing Machine on Pspeed.

*** I may no longer auto-forward to voice mail when I get the next phone call form the Frost Giant Anti-Defamation League, and the SPCA, given the horrors inflicted on a few polar bears ...

[Pauly]

* the Blade of Irony can't be dull and flat, in order to better remove wrinkles.
** It also can't just be a normal sword made of the metal Fe.

** The Blade of Steely may not have completely different and unrelated properties to the blade of Irony.

[Spore]

* May not forge and wield a sword called the Ridicublade
** The sword may not start as a buster-sword sized sword
*** May not get larger, more powerful and more ridiculous every time someone points out how ridiculous it is
**** May not only be wielded by someone who likes it unironically

* May not make a legendary super katana that only functions as indestructible all-cutting super sword if the wielder unironically likes that myth
** Ironic or exploitative mindsets trying to game it may not get punished for pretending to believe

* may not make a Blade of Irony for the ironic or comedic minded
** The blade may not ironically, be unable to cut anything and in fact fuses things together or attaches them as it passes through

* may not make an Antimeme Blade that gets permanently stronger every time you use to kill someone who says a meme within you presence within the minute they say it
** the blade may not kill the wielder if they utter any meme themselves while they wield it.

*You may never base your magic item's properties on the concept of "liking something unironically".
** This does not include but is adjacent to believing into one of the following:
- yourself
- the power of friendship
- the power of incredible violence
- the heart of the cards
- your training
*** If one of you lot recycle just ONE tired anime or story trope above, I will personally craft a boss monster that counters all your shenanigans thus far.
**** If you truly believe in something, believe in the oversights and imcompetence of your DM.

[Rater202]

There are better ways to fight vampires than loading holy relics into a blunderbuss.

[noob]

There are better ways to fight vampires than loading holy relics into a blunderbuss.

Better? Probably.
As satisfying? No.
** throwing the planet in the sun while able to kill vampires also kills non vampires.

[D&D_Fan]

There are better ways to fight vampires than loading holy relics into a blunderbuss.

*Filling a Super Soaker with milk to fight vampires because "Count Chocula gets soggy in milk, this one should too" is not a valid option.

[Tohron]

* I may not experimentally test whether vampires are extra-vulnerable to H-bombs.

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may not experimentally test whether vampires are extra-vulnerable to H-bombs.

Given that we used to refer to nuclear depth charges (yeah, those were a thing when I was in the Navy) as "a bucket of sunshine" I'd suspect that nukes nullify a vampire's regeneration feature.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may not experimentally test whether vampires are extra-vulnerable to H-bombs.

I suspect that the explosion of an h-bomb is sufficient enough to deal aggravated damage to humans (considering that a grenade is). As vampires downgrade everything except their banes by one level the question is what the primary source of the damage is, if it's light or heat they'll be taking aggravated damage, if it's the shockwave probably just lethal.

Now your average vampire, after taking Disciplines into account, probably has about 11 health levels. If the bomb is able to do at least 22 damage (which I believe would be pretty small by fusion bomb standards) it's going to be difficult to get enough subjects to properly test this hypothesis.

* My vampire cannot take 'fissile material: as a bane

[danielxcutter]

I haven't been reading the rulebooks enough to remember, but I assume once all health levels are filled with bashing it turns into lethal, and then agg? And actual lethal and agg just skip the bashing part?

Also I'm pretty sure thermonuclear weapons are more or less an instakill against anything that isn't a... which WoD is this? Either way, I think you have to be at least a Mage with 5 dots in Forces to shrug it off and almost anything else pretty much turns into ashes?

[Anonymouswizard]

I haven't been reading the rulebooks enough to remember, but I assume once all health levels are filled with bashing it turns into lethal, and then agg? And actual lethal and agg just skip the bashing part?

Pretty much. Lethal and agg also push lesser damage to the next box, which IIRC can also 'roll over'.

Also I'm pretty sure thermonuclear weapons are more or less an instakill against anything that isn't a... which WoD is this? Either way, I think you have to be at least a Mage with 5 dots in Forces to shrug it off and almost anything else pretty much turns into ashes?

CofD, so anything which gets to ~50 is an instakill for anybody who isn't built for the absolute limits of toughness (and 60 should deal with them). I'm sure we can get a big further with abusing blood magic, but if it kills a BP10 vampire with maxed Stamina and Resilience it'll probably kill anything short of a mage, mummy, or promethean. If we were going to stat nukes they'd likely be an order of magnitude higher at minimum.

Yeah, let's go with a damage of '+Caine'.

[danielxcutter]

I know some Prometheans are literally spawned from radiation(I think they’re the Zeka?) so if you mean those it makes sense. I hear mummies are incredibly powerful when they first wake up, but that powerful?

That being said yeah, even something like a True Fae is probably getting booted back into the Hedge if it gets a nuke to the face. Unless it has a contract for that, but I think those have limits?

[Anonymouswizard]

I know some Prometheans are literally spawned from radiation(I think they’re the Zeka?) so if you mean those it makes sense. I hear mummies are incredibly powerful when they first wake up, but that powerful?

Prometheans have a limited ability to come back from the dead, as long as they have a use left they can probably manage it. I'm not exactly sure how it works in 2e, but in 1e everybody could do it once and being an Orisian or buying their power let you do it as long as you had 2+ Azoth.

Mummies can regenerate from organs they've hidden in jars, or as a last ditch get their cult to put them in a new body (which isn't certain). They're also IIRC unkillable as long as they've Sealed Their Flesh, but I left my book at home and think that only lasts a few rounds per Pillar point you spend.

Yeah, fully powered mummies have mage levels of power, although they're not as flexible. They lose a lot of it as their Sekhem drops, but some tricks like Sealing The Flesh still work at Sekhem 1.