Mystery Men RPG

[Yodaman23]

I am going to create a d6 Mystery Men RPG. You create your underdog superhero by rolling a d100 on a random power table. Being familer (if you are) with the film Mystery Men, can you guys help me come up with powers. Be aware of repeats please.

I start

Mundane Overcompetance (Melee)
You are talented with a single mundane in melee combat. This can be anything from a shovel to a waffle iron but it can only be one thing. You add
2d to your melee attacks and damage.

Mundane Overcompetance (Ranged)
You are talented with a single mundane item in ranged combat. Anything from a fork to a battery sock. Your range for this specific item is 30ft when thrown and your damage is given by DM discretion based on the item.

[Nerd-o-rama]

"I have a gift. I shovel. I shovel well."

Well, among the three main characters, there's still

Get Angry
You have the supernatural ability to get really angry. This doesn't have an actual game effect, though.

[rollfrenzy]

We have a game like that that we got at Origins. It was called Stuper powers. It was hilarious.

Some of the most random useless powers ever thought of.


Summon three inches of mashed potatoes.
Breed with electrical devices
Summon a blizzard in a bathroom.
Among others.

<runs to find link>
<comes back out of breath from fake internet running>

Here it is.

[Tellah]

Here's a couple for Flaming Carrot (from the comics, not the movie):

Brilliant Insight
The blatantly obvious doesn't escape your keen eye. You are able to correctly identify any common thing you can see. Example: "That is a cow."

Go All Flooby
Your fingers begin to float away. You are incapable of making melee or ranged attacks, but nearby creatures are confused.

[Funkyodor]

Riding on coat-tails
You have a signigicant other that has (or had) true super powers, and you've learned to accept that other people treat you better when they know this. They don't realize that you have no real powers, and assume that you just haven't figured out what you can do yet.

[Xuincherguixe]

Pretty Creepy
You can really freak people out, which may be useful to distract them. Probably to do something really creepy to them.

[Baxbart]

Dodecahedral Master

(Here's some love for the lesser used d12)

Whenever you close your fist and concentrate, you can summon into existence (or possibly just summon from elsewhere) a plastic, wood, glass or metal dodecahedron. The size of the summoned object can be no larger than an inch across, but the faces may be marked with any colours, numbers or letters that you wish for.

You can only create one object at a time.

[Kizara]

Remember, as per the movie, the powers have to be at least REMOTELY useful.

The point is to have sucky powers, not completely non-functional ones.

Some ideas:

Master of complaining: You are so skilled at whining about everything currently not perfect to your desires that your enemies (and indeed, basically everyone) is distracted, infuriated and will stop at nothing to harm you just to get you to shut up. This would be very useful for a distraction.

Explosive Feces: Not like, dynamite explosion, just kind of explodes showering nearby (like, basically on impact) enemies with your waste. *shrug*

Along the same assinine vein: Acidic urine.

Beastmaster: You can talk to any animal commonly kept as a pet, as long as it is no larger then your forearm. So, small cats, fish, very small dogs, lizards, etc.

Shadowmaster: You have the unerring ability to find shadows, even in well-lit areas. These shadows may be useful for hiding in.

Unquencable Flatuence: Your farts stink really, really badly.

Rainbow girl: You can change color, including details such as hair highlight or different eye color etc. You can also change the color of your clothes. This might be distracting to others or allow you to disguise yourself easily or possibly hide.

[Blayze]

Master of Ceremonies

You throw *really* good parties. A single offer of an invite to one of your parties, and very few people can refuse.

[ALOR]

Turn into a Were-Goldfish:
you have the ability to turn into a half man, half goldfish, during the full moon

[rollfrenzy]

Summon ninjas
unfortunately they aren't GOOD Ninjas and there are a lot of them. Inverse ninja law applies here as well.

Dissolve anything in water
at regular speed.

Allergen Man
You can make peoples eyes kind of watery and sneezy.

[skeeter_dan]

I would definitely recommend reading the comics for more ideas. The movie is fantastic, but the comics are even better.

[Snadgeros]

All-seer: You don't blink. Ever.

Monolith: You can turn into a rock. You can't do anything as a rock, except turn back into a human.

Grabber: You have 6 fingers on each hand.

Tastebuddy: You have a super-enhanced sense of taste, like how Wolverine can super-smell and Daredevil has super-hearing.

[Aquillion]

Sticky:
You have the power to become extremely sticky at will, letting you stick to anything like superglue. However, you can only make your entire body sticky at once; you can't focus it just on one hand or palm. This makes it impossible for you to use this ability to, say, climb smooth surfaces (since you won't be able to move until you turn it off, at which point you fall.)

Self-Immolation:
You have the power to burst into flames at will. You have no special protection against these flames, and take normal damage for someone who is on fire. The flames can be extinguished by normal means (and only by normal means; you can't 'turn them off'.) The flames start on your skin, so wearing a fireproof suit or anything similar only causes you to burn inside the suit.

Diagnosis
You are completely aware of your state of health at all times. You know exactly how badly you are injured, what diseases you are infected with, any poisons or other harmful substances you ingest or inhale. (This is actually an extremely valuable ability, probably more useful than some actual published superheroes -- but it isn't very practical in an adventuring sense. Mostly, you can earn a living testing things for pharmaceutical companies.)

Don't Drown
You do not drown when you pass out underwater; your lungs instead start to process the water as air. However, this ability only functions when unconsious, so you still lose consiousness first like everyone else, and remain unconsious until removed from the water and revived. If not revived, you will eventually die of starvation (or thirst, if in saltwater.)

Ten-year Listener
By concentrating, you can focus your hearing on whatever happened in your current location exactly ten years ago. This ability does not extend to your other senses, and while you are using it, you can only very faintly hear what is happening in your current time. (This ability could be given for sight instead.)

Fly in Nauru
While you are in or above the island nation of Nauru, or within a mile of its coast, you can fly. You could be an actual super-hero... but you would have to live in Nauru.

Red Tape
You are very, very good at handling red tape; you can fill out forms, read official documents, navigate automated phone-menus, and perform similar red-tape related tasks in 1/10th the time it takes a skilled professional. Somehow, you also spend only 1/10th of the time in waiting rooms, on hold on phones, and so forth. The guy with immunity to bullets envies you.

Soviet Spy
Anyone you encounter becomes immediately convinced that you are a Soviet Spy. No rational argument can convince them otherwise; the fact that the Soviet Union no longer exists makes no difference. Even your friends think you are a soviet spy (and joke about it), although they tend to take it with good humor. This ability could actually have been extremely useful while the Soviet Union still existed, since it would work on actual Soviet spies, KGB members, soviet officials, etc. Unfortunately, if you travel to Russia today people will only become confused at best, and some may even become violent. Travelling in the rest of the former Soviet Union is not advised; you are also advised to stay away from zombie J. Edgar Hoover.

Stop Time
You possess the ability to stop time. However, they tell you that you will not be able to act while time is stopped, and therefore will never be able to start it again... ever. You have managed to refrain from using this ability until now, for obvious reasons.

That Guy
Nobody can remember your name. Even nicknames people try to invent for you are rapidly forgotten.

[Eldmor]

Walking Camera
You can take a mental photograph of anything you see with your eyes and recall the tiniest of details in them. Unfortunately, you can only hold 23 photos and your "bank" of photos is deleted whenever you become unconscious.

Coupon Clipper
You always seem to have a coupon for whatever product or service you're about to acquire, or you're within a short distance of a magazine/newspaper with said coupon. Coupons range from small discounts to complimentary small-ticket items.

My Name Is McLovin'
You are excellent at lying about your own personal information, and practically everyone will believe you. Just they'll be convinced completely that you're only what you told them, so telling one person you're Eminem and one you're an African-Jew will likely cause a struggle or confusion. [Props to Superbad for this idea. ]

Troll
You have the uncanny ability to know exactly what to say to start an argument or to pour gasoline on a social fire in progress.

On, Off, On, Off, On...
By simply concentrating on an electronic object within sight, you can turn it on or off.

[dyslexicfaser]

How about The Deathclock? The ability to simply look at someone and instinctively know how long they have until their death.

The Haberdasher: Your control over all things hat is unmatched and unquestioned. You may animate any hat, which will then obey your spoken commands.

The Dramatic Effect: When you need it, you have just that little sparkle to your smile or lilt to your voice that makes people think well of you. No matter what you are seen doing, you are the very image of a hero.

[UserClone]

The "Big Man": You have the ability to smash through a wall unscathed, but only when you have a pitcher of Kool-Aid (tm) in each hand, and you shout your catchphrase, "OH YEAH!" If you do not immediately offer everyone beyond the wall you broke some of your Kool-Aid (tm) (and proceed to pour a glass for anyone interested) you suffer a concussion and are knocked unconscious for a day or two.

[Toric]

Mother's Protection
You and any articles of clothing you wear become as strong as steel, but only while you are wearing your mother's wedding dress.

The Nanny
You carry a footstool wherever you go. If you set this stool in a corner and tell somebody to sit in it, they will comply for ten seconds. Only one person may sit in the corner at one time. Dunce cap is optional.

Planeswalker
You can walk on any non-vertical surface without difficulty, as long as that surface is an inclined plane. Any attempt to cross between two inclined planes that a normal person could not walk on will cause you to fall.

Meltman
With the power...... to melt, you can move as an amorphous puddle at 1/4 your base land speed. You can sludge your way under doors or through grates and pipes. Be very careful around sewage drains.

Eyes in the back of your head
You were born with eyes in the back of your head.This means it is difficult for people to sneak up on you, but you are forced to shave your head every few days to keep hair out of your eyes and people constantly ask you to chaperon teen dances.

[Snadgeros]

Meltman
With the power...... to melt, you can move as an amorphous puddle at 1/4 your base land speed. You can sludge your way under doors or through grates and pipes. Be very careful around sewage drains.

Action League Now!

Stinky Diver A former navy commando with an attitude as bad as his odor!

The Flesh He's super strong and super naked.

EDIT: Got the name wrong. God, it's been so long.

[Nota Biene]

Thunder Girl!

She flies... like thunder.

In this context, the power would work literally, meaning you diffuse across a wide area. Perhaps it takes a while to re-form at the correct location.

[Eldmor]

OBJECTION!
You can freely cease any social dialog going on by pointing in the general area of the people talking and shouting "OBJECTION!". You must allow for a rebuttal to your objection of what they said.

[WhyBother]

Wit thanks to Marvel Comics' X-Force/X-Statix

Surrender Monkey
You recognize exactly at which point during a fight is the best time to give up. You recognize this moment when it comes, and not before. You have no idea how, why, or when, but any fight lasting longer that the recognized point will turn out poorer than any possible "best" result for your side. You retain the option of continuing to fighting, surrendering, or retreating as you wish. This power gives you no further ability or insight into the intricacies of combat.

Spoiler

Show

The original character was an monkey-like mutant who spoke with an accent resembling a bad impersonation of Maurice Chevalier, and wore a blue vest, black-and-white striped shirt, and red beret made infamous by the French "New Wave" style of cinema.

Spoiler

Show

He also was not really a mutant, just a mid-ranking US intelligence agent in a monkey costume, whose mission was to obliquely discredit nations critical of US foreign policy.

Edit: It may or may not be useful if, at the GM's discression, the same power may be applied to games of strategy, such as chess. Applying this to games of chance would be pretty powerful.

Also, as long as I'm editting, there was a similarly useful power used by a character called the Cypher in a short story called The Trigger. His power subtly (and subconsciously) shifted reality around him to provide him with very oblique clues. To what mysteries, he was never really certain, and more than anything else it tended to leave his fellow heroes more uncertain about the next course of action than they would be in the absence of any clues. Good for starting an adventure, good for conveying the notion that your team really has no idea what's going on, but bad for practical planning, investigation, or decision making.

[Toric]

Action League Now!

Stinky Diver A former navy commando with an attitude as bad as his odor!

The Flesh He's super strong and super naked.

Great to see that some other people remember that show.

The Flesh
Your muscles and bones become super-strong, and your skin becomes super-sensitive. You chafe easily; whenever you wear articles of clothing you are treated as nauseated.

Prometheus
Due to your keen intellect, you have invented a number of inventions that even the simplest mind could operate. You can use these inventions with ease, as can small animals, but allowing any other person to use your inventions results in catastrophic collateral damage as they never grasp the basic concepts needed to properly use the invention.

[Snadgeros]

Prometheus
Due to your keen intellect, you have invented a number of inventions that even the simplest mind could operate. You can use these inventions with ease, as can small animals, but allowing any other person to use your inventions results in catastrophic collateral damage as they never grasp the basic concepts needed to properly use the invention.

Bob You are exceptionally strong and extraordinarily curious. However, your curiosity leads you to shiny things, which you then break horribly, usually resulting in the injury of someone nearby. Any time you attempt to operate any technology or machinery this happens.

[Yodaman23]

All of those are amazing, take no people, this is what I want, compleatly riduculas powers that are kind of lame but are somewhat usefull. Very nice, all of these will be used, especially That Guy but upped a bit to nobody can really remember you but only feels like you are slightly familer.

Sticky:
You have the power to become extremely sticky at will, letting you stick to anything like superglue. However, you can only make your entire body sticky at once; you can't focus it just on one hand or palm. This makes it impossible for you to use this ability to, say, climb smooth surfaces (since you won't be able to move until you turn it off, at which point you fall.)

Self-Immolation:
You have the power to burst into flames at will. You have no special protection against these flames, and take normal damage for someone who is on fire. The flames can be extinguished by normal means (and only by normal means; you can't 'turn them off'.) The flames start on your skin, so wearing a fireproof suit or anything similar only causes you to burn inside the suit.

Diagnosis
You are completely aware of your state of health at all times. You know exactly how badly you are injured, what diseases you are infected with, any poisons or other harmful substances you ingest or inhale. (This is actually an extremely valuable ability, probably more useful than some actual published superheroes -- but it isn't very practical in an adventuring sense. Mostly, you can earn a living testing things for pharmaceutical companies.)

Don't Drown
You do not drown when you pass out underwater; your lungs instead start to process the water as air. However, this ability only functions when unconsious, so you still lose consiousness first like everyone else, and remain unconsious until removed from the water and revived. If not revived, you will eventually die of starvation (or thirst, if in saltwater.)

Ten-year Listener
By concentrating, you can focus your hearing on whatever happened in your current location exactly ten years ago. This ability does not extend to your other senses, and while you are using it, you can only very faintly hear what is happening in your current time. (This ability could be given for sight instead.)

Fly in Nauru
While you are in or above the island nation of Nauru, or within a mile of its coast, you can fly. You could be an actual super-hero... but you would have to live in Nauru.

Red Tape
You are very, very good at handling red tape; you can fill out forms, read official documents, navigate automated phone-menus, and perform similar red-tape related tasks in 1/10th the time it takes a skilled professional. Somehow, you also spend only 1/10th of the time in waiting rooms, on hold on phones, and so forth. The guy with immunity to bullets envies you.

Soviet Spy
Anyone you encounter becomes immediately convinced that you are a Soviet Spy. No rational argument can convince them otherwise; the fact that the Soviet Union no longer exists makes no difference. Even your friends think you are a soviet spy (and joke about it), although they tend to take it with good humor. This ability could actually have been extremely useful while the Soviet Union still existed, since it would work on actual Soviet spies, KGB members, soviet officials, etc. Unfortunately, if you travel to Russia today people will only become confused at best, and some may even become violent. Travelling in the rest of the former Soviet Union is not advised; you are also advised to stay away from zombie J. Edgar Hoover.

Stop Time
You possess the ability to stop time. However, they tell you that you will not be able to act while time is stopped, and therefore will never be able to start it again... ever. You have managed to refrain from using this ability until now, for obvious reasons.

That Guy
Nobody can remember your name. Even nicknames people try to invent for you are rapidly forgotten.

[Yodaman23]

I don't want this to go down, I still have 40 somthing powers to make up, please help.

[Dervag]

Human Battery
You have a preternatural ability to build up small electric charges from your surroundings. The charges in question are not large, no more than those experienced by any normal person who, say, shuffles their feet on a carpet for several minutes and then touches the doorknob.

In dry conditions, especially wintertime, there is a better than even chance you will get zapped by any metal object you touch, such as a doorknob, car door, or in fact anything but plumbing. Even nonmetallic objects that by all rights and sanity shouldn't even be electrical conductors can zap you.

Your hair routinely stands slightly on end, especially in zap-friendly conditions, and you may have to electrically ground yourself several times a day to suppress this condition.

In wintertime, you become somewhat dangerous to touch and others will often get an annoying electric spark when they shake your hand or touch your clothing. You can disrupt or disable electronic devices on contact. Combining this power with a power that causes devices to automatically resume functioning 5 seconds after someone comes to help you with them is a favorite.

You first discovered your power when your mother/beloved guardian/significant other got zapped when handing you a carrot. Yes, a carrot. Yes, I know carrots aren't very good conductors. That didn't stop you.


I actually possess this ability, though I exaggerated it for effect.

[Azerian Kelimon]

Ordinary Normal

You possess no superpower. You are not affected by effects that affect superheroes/villains. You are still capable of heroic feats, such as great courage, cunning planning, etc. You aren't in peak human condition, however (See Badass Normal). Add a +20 unnamed modifier to your Common Sense checks, and add +10 to your Cynism checks when faced with a superhero with fully functional, truly useful powers.


A REALLY nice superpower. With the bajillion supers only effects out there, this one is a blessing.

[Smight]

The Post Man

Instantly knows contents of any envelope or package that he touches, but only if they are properly labeled and stamped.

[Aquillion]

Steroid Freak
Your body looks absurdly, superhumanly buff; anyone who looks at you is easily convinced that you have superhuman strength, durability, and so forth.

However, you do not. Your strength is no more than about average for someone of your gender and age, and you can be hurt like anyone else. You are extremely intimidating in costume as long as you don't actually have to do anything.

Metaljaw
Your teeth have been replaced by a spring-loaded titanium jaw with retractable sharpened points (they make a familiar *shtck* sound when you bring them out, which you can do with your jaw muscles.) You can do heavy damage with a bite, and your teeth and jaw cannot be harmed.

Hippyhair
You have the power to make your hair grow at will, at the rate of about an inch a second. The energy to make this new hair has to come from somewhere, though; if you create too much at once, you get hungry and tired. You can speed up its growth by concentrating hard, but this tires you even faster; filling an entire room with hair, for instance, leaves you exhausted.

Wikipedia
You can consult Wikipedia wirelessly through your brain from anywhere on earth. You can't access anything else on the internet like this, not even through links out of Wikipedia. You cannot make edits this way (and therefore cannot use it to communicate or ask for help.) Additionally, you cannot read talk pages or consult the page history -- you are stuck with whatever the actual articles say at the moment, and have to hope that they are correct.

The Granny
You look like a withered, helpless 98-year-old woman. However, you have the full strength and other physical abilities normal for a 21-year-old who is in good shape. Additionally, you get a bonus to use knitting needles, umbrellas, handbags, and any other improvised old-lady-themed weapons; as well as a bonus to any knowledge checks related to Matlock, the Golden Girls, etc.