[Acid Class] Draziw (RED-HOT CHILI-PEPPER AND A TWIST OF LIME!!!!!!!)

[DracoDei]

Not quite polished to full imperfection but I feel that I really can't pass up the opportunity to post this today rather than a week from now or whatever... suggestions for further ways to worsen this welcome...

And so, in the second installment of my attempt to titrate the forums to cancel out all the Base classes my fellow slack-jawed drooling idiots of ugly demeanor and even worse breath, it is with great depression that I present to you my lastest and worstest creation, the Draziw... a spellcasting class to make Elminster cry and Mordenkain up-chuck.

Draziw
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|

-1

|

-0

|

+0

|

+2

|Unfamiliar

2nd|

-2

|

-0

|

+0

|

+3

|

3rd|

-3

|

-1

|

+0

|

+3

|

4th|

-4

|

-1

|

+0

|

+4

|S.A.D.

5th|

-5

|

-1

|

+0

|

+4

|

6th|

-6

|

-2

|

+0

|

+5

|S.A.D.

7th|

-7

|

-2

|

+0

|

+5

|

8th|

-8

|

-2

|

+0

|

+6

|S.A.D.

9th|

-9

|

-3

|

+0

|

+6

|

10th|

-10

|

-3

|

+0

|

+7

|S.A.D.

11th|

-11

|

-3

|

+0

|

+7

|

12th|

-12

|

-4

|

+0

|

+8

|S.A.D.

13th|

-13

|

-4

|

+0

|

+8

|Class DIS-Ability[Amputation]

14th|

-14

|

-4

|

+0

|

+9

|S.A.D.

15th|

-15

|

-5

|

+0

|

+9

|Class DIS-Ability[Anti-Mystico-Agoraphobia]

16th|

-16

|

-5

|

+0

|

+10

|S.A.D.

17th|

-17

|

-5

|

+0

|

+10

|

18th|

-18

|

-6

|

+0

|

+11

|S.A.D.

19th|

-19

|

-6

|

+0

|

+11

|

20th|

-20

|

-6

|

+0

|

+12

|Utterly Inconselate Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth[/table]

Hit Die: 1d1 (Draziw's take pride in the fact that they have no defense but their magic, and follow a strict regimin of bodily abuse to make themselves more frail so as to emphasize this to the world.)

Weapons and Armor: Draziw's are non-proficient with all weapons, armor and shields. There magic is their only weapon, and any one of them that was found to have any skill what-so-ever with such crude devices as mere physical instruments of violence would be a laughing stock.)

Skill Points: (0+Intellegence Modifer)x4 at first level, (0+Intellegence Modifer) each level after that. (Draziw are so intellegent that they only pick up skills by osmosis really... they would be absolutely ASHAMED of having to actually STUDY to learn anything.)

Class Skills: Concentration and Spellcraft (Everyone knows an arcane spellcaster doesn't need any others...)


0th through 3rd level Spells
*Apply any bonus spells per day for this level to this spell.

4th through 6th Level Spells
*Apply any bonus spells per day for this level to this spell.
7th through 9th Level Spells
*Apply any bonus spells per day for this level to this spell.

Spells - A Draziw must rest for 8 hours or 1 hour per class level, which-ever is more, before preparing spells for the day (which requires 1 hour per class level). Draziw spell-books are exercises in needless complication so as to show off their vast intellects and weigh 5 pounds per spell level contained in them. A Draziw may only ever have one spell book, and there is no known method of repairing one, or replacing one if it is destroyed.

Unfamiliar(Sn) - you are constantly stalked by a creature… it absolutely terrifies you, you can take no action against it so great is the hold the fear has on your mind, and there is no escaping it.

S.A.D. (Ex) - Everyone knows that the only important ability for arcanists is their casting stat... at 4th level and every even numbered level after that (except 20th) a moroseness overtakes the Draziw, increasing their sadness... they fight back (unsuccessfully of course...) against this by focusing themselves towards their magic at the expense of everything else... reduce strength, dexterity, constitution, wisdom, and charisma by 1 point each to a minimum of 1. Increase intelligence by one point.

Amputation (Ex) - Upon Reaching 13th level and becoming able to cast Overland Flight twice a day a Draziw displays his great pride in his freedom from anything so mundane as walking (or swimming, or whatever) that he uses his attack spells to remove any of his limbs that serve such purposes. Should they be restored by any means, including artificial replacements, the Draziw is reduced in all regards to the casting ability of a 12th level member of this class until and unless the situation is rectified by the re-removal of the limbs in question.

Anti-Mystico-Agoraphobia (Ex) - Upon Reaching 15th level and becoming able to cast Mordenkain's Magnificent Mansion they must retreat to such within one minute if they are ever out of it and have less than half of their spell-levels for the day remaining (including because the duration from the last casting elapsed).

Utterly Inconsolate Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth (Ex) - Upon reaching 20th level a sense of utter hopelessness overcomes a Draziw... this goes way beyond SAD.... reduce all ability scores except Intelligence to 1 (including after continuous function magic items worn and any inherent bonuses) and increase Intelligence by the average of the amount that the others were reduced by, rounded up.

[DracoDei]

Bump! (Because, as I may or may not have said, I am interested in suggestions for making this funnier... and/or feedback on if it is funny in the first place especially compared to it predecessor the Rethgif.

[JackTR69]

Amazing. Just amazing.
Maybe say more about the unfamiliar rules? Like that it attacks him every so many hours?

[DracoDei]

I will see what I can come up with...

[Copacetic]

Intresting. I like it. The Unfamilar is a nce touch.