Making shirtlessness effective (3.5)

[Glyde]

So, I've got all the mechanics down for an NPC except for one thing. He doesn't wear a shirt.

It's a big burly sailor with a harpoon, whose chest hair sadly cannot be used for AC. Almost all the books are available, but I'm pretty stumped on making him not get hit by a stiff breeze, and I'm trying hard not to house-rule anything.

[Ryuuk]

Have the rope around his trousers be a Monk's Belt

[Ganurath]

Give him heavily armored pants. Xena teaches us that armor can leave parts of the body uncovered and still be functional so long as it looks good.

[Deepblue706]

Dodge. Combat Expertise. Two-Weapon Defense (The Tip and the Butt of the Harpoon obviously make two weapons). Amulet of Natural Armor. Ring of Protection. Fighting Defensively. Monk's Belt.

This class: The Unstoppable Force (grants CON to AC).

[The Demented One]

Glamered armor, use a bit of DM fiat to have him either disguise it, or have it appear as something like tattoos or body hair.

[Xyk]

Swordsage? If he's big and burly, maybe use some tiger claw and stone dragon moves. level 2 gives wisdom bonus to AC.

EDIT: Glamered armor seconded.

[The_Werebear]

A level of Monk would give you wisdom to AC. If you can't do that, give him a monk's belt which will help. Random magic items like amulets of natural armor and rings of protection can give additional boosts.

Edit.
Wow, multininja.

[shadow_archmagi]

Glamered armor, use a bit of DM fiat to have him either disguise it, or have it appear as something like tattoos or body hair.

Glass chain mail!

Or, how about:

When he was very young his mother gave him a protective magical tattoo where it wouldn't show.

[TheCountAlucard]

A high Dex score, bracers of armor, amulet of natural armor, ring of protection... hmm? Maybe Combat Expertise?

Dang, mega-ninja'ed...

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Make the Trident a Defending Parrying weapon. (Can let the weapon's +x apply to AC instead of attack, and +1 insight to AC and saves).

[Collin152]

Dipped in the River Styx as a child?

[Sstoopidtallkid]

I know you said no homebrew, and the fluff and crunch probably wouldn't fit, but didn't Tayla make a Vow of Nudity for her Sorceress? Worth looking into.

[Meat Shield]

Glamered armor, use a bit of DM fiat to have him either disguise it, or have it appear as something like tattoos or body hair.

Or, work with the DM to actually give him magical tattoos that give an armor bonus of some sort. Pay for them like you would normal armor plus a little maybe.

EDIT: darn, missed the 'no homebrew if possible'

Double Edit: shadow_archmagi said pretty much the same thing above. My bad.

[Eighth_Seraph]

When he was very young his mother gave him a protective magical tattoo where it wouldn't show.

Ooh. I like it. It would be a homebrew, of course, which borders on a house rule. It could be either a feat or a magic item. I might stat one up later on, if you're interested.

[Riffington]

Mage armor? (possibly his albatross has a level of Sorcerer)?

[AstralFire]

My half-orc swordsage has gigantic adamantine gauntlets that he blocks attacks with. They are mechanically the same as a chain shirt.

[Glyphic]

Buy armor, get the AC, then forget totally that you're wearing it. Especially if you fall off the boat.

[Talanic]

Use the Naked Defense rules from Portable Hole full of Beer. Codpiece and bikini armor are fully effective then, as long as you are wearing nothing else; doubtless, a shirtless, burly sailor would count.

[Kiara LeSabre]

Use the Naked Defense rules from Portable Hole full of Beer. Codpiece and bikini armor are fully effective then, as long as you are wearing nothing else; doubtless, a shirtless, burly sailor would count.

Best answer yet.

[Crow]

Bracers of Armor!

A pair of short, worn leather bracers would probably look good on this guy.

[Eighth_Seraph]

I kinda just wanted to make this. No pressure to use it, though some brief (though not thread de-railing) critique appreciated.

Mark of the Sea

Spoiler

Show

A powerful gift assigned to the lineages of people that have a strong bond to the ocean, the Mark of the Sea is a coveted boon to many sailors. The Mark manifests as a prominent tattoo of an ocean that covers the majority of the bearer's torso. The ocean features one marine creature of particular importance to the bearer, be it a sea serpent, a swordfish, an albatross, or any other creature appropriate to the bearer. The Mark offers several benefits to its bearer, all centered around survival at sea.

While immersed in any large body of water or traveling through it in a boat, ship, or submersible, the bearer of the Mark gains a +4 luck bonus to Armor Class and a +2 luck bonus to all saves while the tattoo is uncovered (any armor or vestment covering the torso negates these effects). In addition, the bearer is granted a +2 insight bonus to all Swim, Profession (Sailor), Profession (Fisherman) checks and Survival checks at sea. Finally, a bearer of the Mark of the Sea does not drown in any large body of water. If the bearer would die of drowning in such waters, he is instead rendered unconscious and is carried by the ocean to the most convenient location for assistance, possibly over the course of several days. This may be the nearest shore, a passing merchant ship, or an deserted island well-stocked with wild vegetation (all at DM discretion).

Strong Abjuration. Mage Armor Caster Level 5, 50,000 gp.

[Irreverent Fool]

Bracers of Armor!

A pair of short, worn leather bracers would probably look good on this guy.

Surprised nobody mentioned that sooner. I second this. My warblade is currently wearing bracers of armor +8 (after a nasty incident with an ooze destroyed his platemail). The best part was, I'd been putting ranks into tumble, so as soon as the armor was off, the party sees the formerly slow and stompy bastard-sword wielding warblade start making with the tricky rogue-like combat moves.

Fun times.

There is also a build floating around here for the frostrager that allows CON bonus to AC twice.

[The Demented One]

Bracers of Armor!

A pair of short, worn leather bracers would probably look good on this guy.

Or just use them, and fluff them as pants of armor.

[Job]

If I recall correctly, there is official rule on one of the online recourses for ‘armor-less’ settings (nautical, renaissance, etc.) that give and intrinsic AC bonus dependent on a classes BAB progression. I’ll see if I can find it.

Edit:Bingo!

[Lemur]

Without magic, there isn't much practical reason not to wear armor- in most environments. A sailor, for example, has good reasons not to wear armor, so I recommend having your NPC take advantage of this. If it were me, I'd have the character attack with his harpoon in most cases, or grapple if he's caught in close range and can't tumble away (an unarmored character definitely needs tumble and anything else that makes him more mobile, especially if he has a special ranged weapon).

Then, the water should become his ally. In a grapple, he should try to toss his opponent, or drag his opponent along with him, into the water, where he'll have the advantage as an unarmored character with ranks in swim. With the harpoon, he can use the rope to control the opponents movements in a similar manner, attempting to drag the opponent into the water, then climbing back into the ship/onto the docks.

He should also try to stay out of reach to use his ranged weapon, perhaps climbing the ship's rigging (the Thief-Acrobat prestige class might help with this) and attacking from generally hard to reach locations.

All this will take a backseat to magic of course, I'm just giving some suggestions in the case that your campaign setting isn't saturated with magic items.

[sikyon]

So, I've got all the mechanics down for an NPC except for one thing. He doesn't wear a shirt.

It's a big burly sailor with a harpoon, whose chest hair sadly cannot be used for AC. Almost all the books are available, but I'm pretty stumped on making him not get hit by a stiff breeze, and I'm trying hard not to house-rule anything.

Obviously he's not meant for combat. You don't go into combat without armor unless you are extremly deterous/wisdom to AC/magic etc.

So fight in situations where no armor is a good thing. If he's a sailor, then have the fight take place in a storm on the deck of the ship. Dex check every round or be knocked prone, armor obviously kills the dex bonus.

[mabriss lethe]

Fey Heritage/fey skin will net you some DR/cold iron. DR stacks if you combine it with a dip into warlock.

[Thurbane]

Permanently invisible breastplate?

[only1doug]

As others have already said:

Bracers of Armour or an item granting Mage Armour (1/day should be enough for a sailor)

[CarpeGuitarrem]

Easy solution. Have him go ninja. He doesn't wear a shirt? Woooo! He's invisible!