Time Cube:The RPG

[First Speaker]

I have just lost approximately 40 SAN.

I imagine, this being a fairly internet savvy-board, that Gene Ray's Time Cube site would be familiar to you lot. If so, could you explain this to me?

Seriously ... whoa.


Check out that ruleset.

[Kurald Galain]

That gives a whole new definition to the term "TLDR".

[kc0bbq]

YEARGHHH! MY EYES!

All it needs are spinning skulls and he'll single-handedly set back website design by a decade.

EDIT: I was going to add something, but I just can't. I keep trying, but I can't.

[SurlySeraph]

Yeah, I read a review of that "Hybrid" system that repeatedly compared it to Timecube. They are stunningly similar, in the whole "constantly referring you back to things they didn't actually tell you about before" aspect.

[RTGoodman]

YEARGHHH! MY EYES!

All it needs are spinning skulls and he'll single-handedly set back website design by a decade.

Not to mention an ever-present animated "Under Construction" GIF and an embedded MIDI...

[First Speaker]

Yeah, I read a review of that "Hybrid" system that repeatedly compared it to Timecube. They are stunningly similar, in the whole "constantly referring you back to things they didn't actually tell you about before" aspect.

Any chance of a link?

I offer you this gem:

And, a value of 10 C in the ’86 MU TSR rpg is 10 C0, both being @ a unitless unit, where 10 is a neutral value, until, a proper unit is assigned, same with Champions / Hero, which have inconsistent units of magnitudes, similar mistake that the ’86 MU TSR rpg make, perhaps it used Maxwell’s time travel equation to steal my ideas from the future, since it, the ’86 MU TSR rpg lacks the proper unit of magnitude, the only way that can happen is if it’s stolen my ideas, unless it is intentionally keeping out the proper units of magnitude from the public, for some unknown reason, maybe for same Reason that Nostradamas was vague, but @ same time was a fraud when it came to chemistry, but was @ same time genius when it came to predicting future events, unless it was based on some other book, that being the bible code, which IF true is based on Maxwell’s equation of time travel, same way these other rpgs are stealing my ideas before I have chance to invent it & claim it as their own even though it’s probably NOT their own, but probably mine, since fragments of many (close to all) of my ideas which I independently discover without any outside resource shows up in different rpgs, as well as in recent scientific discoveries, predicted 1st by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, including the many recent discoveries also predicted by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, predictions such as that of there being microscopic black-holes, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, IF I DO NOT SOUND PRETENTIOUS, then, also, the super computers is, also, based on my recursive equation of X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, as well as teleportation that the pentagon is researching into is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, & creating a viable human from an egg without a sperm, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, my idea(s), where the sperm(s) has/have a parasitic propert(y/ies), because the male human has LESS points than the human female, is how the 2 genders operate

Evidently, Maxwell's works of thermodynamics, Nostradamus, and micro-black holes combined with his own RPG system combine to demonstrate that TSR are travelling forward in time to steal his system.

Also, parasitic sperm.

[kc0bbq]

spoilered for big:

Spoiler

Show

Rule # 395: Cake is 1d6 flour for 1 part sugar & HALF bar of butter for every pound of flour, while bread is 2d6 flour for 1 part sugar. If you keep what I write next as directly proportional rather than inversely proportional, then too much or excess sugar in your diet can make you stupid, unless you are at least a low level mutant with excess points greater than your COM, more difference the better. Ratio for amount of sugar to get that sweetness of or for pastry, including bread, is inversely proportional in effort needed to get that gpa is likewise sometimes similar: example, (1/1d6) or (1/2d6) sugar to flour is inversely proportional to effort needed to get that gpa, where grade = 100*{1-(1/(1d6 or 2d6))}. But, do not forget that amount of baking powder is 1 teaspoon of tiniest teaspoon *for every* 1 large spoon of sugar which is larger than a regular size spoon of sugar that you put in your flour or (gpa)x in # of the tiniest teaspoons to that of 1 packet of yeast in flour. The percentage, %, done when baking = [100*{1 – (1/X)}], where X = [(time in # of minutes) – (time to heat oven @ either 1d6 or 2d6, minutes)]. When the dough is made, make sure to let it sit for half an or 1 hour { but make sure the dough doesn’t dry up, either; and, make sure it is moist before placing it in the oven } before using it, to allow it to rise, to allow the yeast to do its magic, before putting it in the oven for 10 minutes, but make sure to preheat for 2 minutes & let it set for an extra 2 minutes @ end of the cooking process when oven is turned off: total time of 12 to 15 minutes. The recipe for baking a breads and HYPERLINK \l "Cake" µcakes§ is revisited, using the following equation, if you want to alter the original recipe on back of box, using the equation as a guideline, to adjust recipe to your liking: X = # of ounces or oz. of flour; Y = X^(1/2); Z = # of spoons of brown sugar @ {L*Y}; L = 1 for bread and L = 2 for cake; 1 packet of fast yeast for each 1 lb. or 16 oz. of flour; (1/8) bar of butter for each spoon of brown sugar; do not use white sugar unless you intend to use less white sugar than you’d use brown sugar; if you use white sugar, then amount = (1/2) that of brown sugar, since white sugar is more concentrated than brown sugar, similar to or proportional to the race equation written earlier in the rpg HYBRID; ~ 1 cup of hot water or milk for each 1 lb. or 16 oz. of flour, but make sure to add the hot water or milk in small amounts, bit by bit, until it is a ball, but make sure to mix the ingredients before adding either the hot water or milk. Then, place it in buttered pan, in oven @ 350 * Fahrenheit for 2 minutes, before reducing temperature to 300 * F @ for 10 minutes: total baking time of 12 minutes in oven. Take it out, cover it with aluminum foil, and let it cool, before slicing and eating it. Do not use L 3 in recipe, since L 3 is excess sugar @ 1 lb of flour which @ 1 lb of flour, the equilibrium or intersection point is 1 lb of flour, for equation for calculating amount of brown sugar to add for which substituting white sugar is (1/2) that of the brown sugar, to prevent it from being too sweet. But, the size of spoon used, also, determines sweetness. Use small size spoon if heaps of sugar is added, else use medium size spoon IF there is NO heap.

Are we sure this isn't just a parody?

[monty]

Holy crap. I can't look at that long enough to even try to understand that.

I'm going to go clean out my brain now.

[Arbitrarity]

spoilered for big:

Spoiler

Show

Rule # 395: Cake is 1d6 flour for 1 part sugar & HALF bar of butter for every pound of flour, while bread is 2d6 flour for 1 part sugar. If you keep what I write next as directly proportional rather than inversely proportional, then too much or excess sugar in your diet can make you stupid, unless you are at least a low level mutant with excess points greater than your COM, more difference the better. Ratio for amount of sugar to get that sweetness of or for pastry, including bread, is inversely proportional in effort needed to get that gpa is likewise sometimes similar: example, (1/1d6) or (1/2d6) sugar to flour is inversely proportional to effort needed to get that gpa, where grade = 100*{1-(1/(1d6 or 2d6))}. But, do not forget that amount of baking powder is 1 teaspoon of tiniest teaspoon *for every* 1 large spoon of sugar which is larger than a regular size spoon of sugar that you put in your flour or (gpa)x in # of the tiniest teaspoons to that of 1 packet of yeast in flour. The percentage, %, done when baking = [100*{1 – (1/X)}], where X = [(time in # of minutes) – (time to heat oven @ either 1d6 or 2d6, minutes)]. When the dough is made, make sure to let it sit for half an or 1 hour { but make sure the dough doesn’t dry up, either; and, make sure it is moist before placing it in the oven } before using it, to allow it to rise, to allow the yeast to do its magic, before putting it in the oven for 10 minutes, but make sure to preheat for 2 minutes & let it set for an extra 2 minutes @ end of the cooking process when oven is turned off: total time of 12 to 15 minutes. The recipe for baking a breads and HYPERLINK \l "Cake" µcakes§ is revisited, using the following equation, if you want to alter the original recipe on back of box, using the equation as a guideline, to adjust recipe to your liking: X = # of ounces or oz. of flour; Y = X^(1/2); Z = # of spoons of brown sugar @ {L*Y}; L = 1 for bread and L = 2 for cake; 1 packet of fast yeast for each 1 lb. or 16 oz. of flour; (1/8) bar of butter for each spoon of brown sugar; do not use white sugar unless you intend to use less white sugar than you’d use brown sugar; if you use white sugar, then amount = (1/2) that of brown sugar, since white sugar is more concentrated than brown sugar, similar to or proportional to the race equation written earlier in the rpg HYBRID; ~ 1 cup of hot water or milk for each 1 lb. or 16 oz. of flour, but make sure to add the hot water or milk in small amounts, bit by bit, until it is a ball, but make sure to mix the ingredients before adding either the hot water or milk. Then, place it in buttered pan, in oven @ 350 * Fahrenheit for 2 minutes, before reducing temperature to 300 * F @ for 10 minutes: total baking time of 12 minutes in oven. Take it out, cover it with aluminum foil, and let it cool, before slicing and eating it. Do not use L 3 in recipe, since L 3 is excess sugar @ 1 lb of flour which @ 1 lb of flour, the equilibrium or intersection point is 1 lb of flour, for equation for calculating amount of brown sugar to add for which substituting white sugar is (1/2) that of the brown sugar, to prevent it from being too sweet. But, the size of spoon used, also, determines sweetness. Use small size spoon if heaps of sugar is added, else use medium size spoon IF there is NO heap.

Are we sure this isn't just a parody?

Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish shaped crackers.
Fish shaped candies.
Fish shaped solid waste.
Fish shaped dirt.
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Pull and peel licorice.
Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
Candy coated peanut butter pieces... shaped like fish.

[Kurald Galain]

Are we sure this isn't just a parody?

Well duh

It also seems to be randomly generated automatically.

[Prometheus]

This guy has to be mocking the world's worst rpg's (who are so incomprehensible as to be compared to Time Cube) but making it really as bad as Time Cube. The thing that really astonished me is that there is no random "sentence-like" generator used. Someone painstakingly typed this out to sound absolutely mad - but isn't. That's got to be meta something, I'm just not sure what that meta is.

[First Speaker]

This guy has to be mocking the world's worst rpg's (who are so incomprehensible as to be compared to Time Cube) but making it really as bad as Time Cube. The thing that really astonished me is that there is no random "sentence-like" generator used. Someone painstakingly typed this out to sound absolutely mad - but isn't.

You see, this is the issue. He's got Hamlet syndrome. He may not be mad, and in fact be trolling, but TWO YEARS of maintaining the pretence makes him so.

[Ascension]

Someday we need to work on quantifying precisely when a troll-playing-mad becomes a troll-gone-mad.

[SurlySeraph]

Any chance of a link?

Here.minimumlength

[chiasaur11]

spoilered for big:

Spoiler

Show

Rule # 395: Cake is 1d6 flour for 1 part sugar & HALF bar of butter for every pound of flour, while bread is 2d6 flour for 1 part sugar. If you keep what I write next as directly proportional rather than inversely proportional, then too much or excess sugar in your diet can make you stupid, unless you are at least a low level mutant with excess points greater than your COM, more difference the better. Ratio for amount of sugar to get that sweetness of or for pastry, including bread, is inversely proportional in effort needed to get that gpa is likewise sometimes similar: example, (1/1d6) or (1/2d6) sugar to flour is inversely proportional to effort needed to get that gpa, where grade = 100*{1-(1/(1d6 or 2d6))}. But, do not forget that amount of baking powder is 1 teaspoon of tiniest teaspoon *for every* 1 large spoon of sugar which is larger than a regular size spoon of sugar that you put in your flour or (gpa)x in # of the tiniest teaspoons to that of 1 packet of yeast in flour. The percentage, %, done when baking = [100*{1 – (1/X)}], where X = [(time in # of minutes) – (time to heat oven @ either 1d6 or 2d6, minutes)]. When the dough is made, make sure to let it sit for half an or 1 hour { but make sure the dough doesn’t dry up, either; and, make sure it is moist before placing it in the oven } before using it, to allow it to rise, to allow the yeast to do its magic, before putting it in the oven for 10 minutes, but make sure to preheat for 2 minutes & let it set for an extra 2 minutes @ end of the cooking process when oven is turned off: total time of 12 to 15 minutes. The recipe for baking a breads and HYPERLINK \l "Cake" µcakes§ is revisited, using the following equation, if you want to alter the original recipe on back of box, using the equation as a guideline, to adjust recipe to your liking: X = # of ounces or oz. of flour; Y = X^(1/2); Z = # of spoons of brown sugar @ {L*Y}; L = 1 for bread and L = 2 for cake; 1 packet of fast yeast for each 1 lb. or 16 oz. of flour; (1/8) bar of butter for each spoon of brown sugar; do not use white sugar unless you intend to use less white sugar than you’d use brown sugar; if you use white sugar, then amount = (1/2) that of brown sugar, since white sugar is more concentrated than brown sugar, similar to or proportional to the race equation written earlier in the rpg HYBRID; ~ 1 cup of hot water or milk for each 1 lb. or 16 oz. of flour, but make sure to add the hot water or milk in small amounts, bit by bit, until it is a ball, but make sure to mix the ingredients before adding either the hot water or milk. Then, place it in buttered pan, in oven @ 350 * Fahrenheit for 2 minutes, before reducing temperature to 300 * F @ for 10 minutes: total baking time of 12 minutes in oven. Take it out, cover it with aluminum foil, and let it cool, before slicing and eating it. Do not use L 3 in recipe, since L 3 is excess sugar @ 1 lb of flour which @ 1 lb of flour, the equilibrium or intersection point is 1 lb of flour, for equation for calculating amount of brown sugar to add for which substituting white sugar is (1/2) that of the brown sugar, to prevent it from being too sweet. But, the size of spoon used, also, determines sweetness. Use small size spoon if heaps of sugar is added, else use medium size spoon IF there is NO heap.

Are we sure this isn't just a parody?

So THAT's the cake the one crazy guy kept writing about in his own blood!

[First Speaker]

So THAT's the cake the one crazy guy kept writing about in his own blood!

I think we found GLaDOS' blog.

[horseboy]

Oh, I thought this was about the real Time cube RPG.


THE CAKE IS A LIE!!

[chiasaur11]

I think we found GLaDOS' blog.

You know, if Aperture Science had just looked over the blog, a whole lot of trouble could be avoided.

[Matthew]

And here I was thinking that nothing could be more stupid than FATAL is; you learn something new (and sometimes more horrible) every day. I totally challenge SwordGuy to play this.

[vicente408]

Just glancing at the first few paragraphs, this gem popped out at me:

{(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math

lolz

[Starbuck_II]

Reading the front page. The *Designer?) guy hates god and sounds similar to a homophobe.

But anyway, I love this line, "Queers killed my lil Brother"

I am not sure if this is satire or a deranged man.


Hybrid:
I like this line:

RULE # 242: Colleges employ the following naming system consisting of 4 equations for college course # are as follows: # = [(age, years)*C2] or [(age, years)*C3] or [C3] or [C4], where C# @ either PL or DP, for courses, where C(# +1) = C#^LOG10(C#). So, you can, eventually, use this easy equation to create a nuclear device @ the price of a beer can, and @ same time get rid of the college institutions, which rob students of their of $.

I'm not sure what this jas to do with anything:
RULE # 229: Rate of $ inflation seems to double every 10 years; cause is due to politically incorrect reasons.

[Eldritch_Ent]

Nono, you guys have it all wrong-

http://www.folded.com/jeff/fridge/timecube.shtml

THIS is the best Timecube RPG.

[Starbuck_II]

Nono, you guys have it all wrong-

http://www.folded.com/jeff/fridge/timecube.shtml

THIS is the best Timecube RPG.

Wait, how many Timecube RPGs are there?

[bosssmiley]

Wait, how many Timecube RPGs are there?

16, but only 4 are apparent to educated stupid minds.

[First Speaker]

Nono, you guys have it all wrong-

http://www.folded.com/jeff/fridge/timecube.shtml

THIS is the best Timecube RPG.

That's a dumbed down RPG, that Gene Ray made to appeal to the WoW demographic.