If the DM was as paranoid as the batman...

[Belial_the_Leveler]

...he would have protection from evil or silence on any gateable creature so they either can't hear the commands or ignore ongoing control
...he would have protection from evil on any dominatable creature
...he would have all credible threats be incorporeal undead swarms
...he would have all creatures expend their per day wish/gate SLAs as soon as they rested so they'd never be forced to grant them to others
...he would have all dragons take awaken spell resistance several times
...he would have a contingency on all high-hd creatures with the trigger "if I was ever Called" with the linked effect being "dismissal"
...he would give all his creatures loot they can use with emphasis on saving throw items and rings of evasion
...he would give all serious opponents a way to deflect ranged touch attacks
...he would give any serious threats either trap the soul or a githyaki sword to deal with astral travelers


please expand the list

[Yukitsu]

...The party would be irrelevant, as all other evil threats have already been accounted for, and if the party goes after the NPC, you'd have already lost.

[RTGoodman]

-The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

[Signmaker]

-The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

One can still attempt X-TREME diplomacy with those handicaps.

[FoE]

-The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

FOX ONLY! NO ITEMS! 3 STOCK! FINAL DESTINATION!

[Lemur]

...then the players would respond by becoming the Joker. Say hello to an entire party of Chaotic Stupid.

[Vinotaur]

FOX ONLY! NO ITEMS! 3 STOCK! FINAL DESTINATION!

4 STOCK! BATTLEFIELD!

[Inhuman Bot]

...then the players would respond by becoming the Joker. Say hello to an entire party of Chaotic Stupid.

awesome.

thats the best response you can have.

[Thane of Fife]

The DM bans ALL non-Core material. And Adepts, Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Expert, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Warrior, Wizard classes. And Commoners are nerfed (who says they should get proficiency with one simple weapon?). No monstrous PCs either. And half-orcs and half-elves only.

Aristocrat party! Yeah! Greatswords for everybody!

[monty]

...then the players would respond by becoming the Joker.

But monks are banned...

[RTGoodman]

One can still attempt X-TREME diplomacy with those handicaps.

Aristocrat party! Yeah! Greatswords for everybody!

Dang it, look what you had to go and do! Aristocrats are overpowered, and therefore right out! And we're using The Giant's Diplomacy fix! Also, Pazuzu doesn't exist, it's a low-magic world, and as you begin the game you find yourself in a room full of housecats, with shadowy darkness for concealment!

Anyone else wanna try something?

But monks are banned...

I don't know... maybe we can make a concession for them this time...

[valadil]

Seriously, if the GM was as paranoid as a batman wizard he'd be using Tucker's kobolds.

[chiasaur11]

Seriously, if the GM was as paranoid as a batman wizard he'd be using Tucker's kobolds.

But they might turn on him!

Kobolds are way too overpowered to let anywhere near diplomatic players.

[Bryn]

Spoiler

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[Heliomance]

Thread over. You win.

[newbDM]

Dang it, look what you had to go and do! Aristocrats are overpowered, and therefore right out! And we're using The Giant's Diplomacy fix! Also, Pazuzu doesn't exist, it's a low-magic world, and as you begin the game you find yourself in a room full of housecats, with shadowy darkness for concealment!

Anyone else wanna try something?

Damn.

But how would you all reward the PCs/players if they actually managed to survive that?

[newbDM]

Spoiler

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I don't get it?


edit:
Oops, forgot to copy and paste it into the previous post as an edit. Sorry.

[TengYt]

Damn.

But how would you all reward the PCs/players if they actually managed to survive that?

With poison gas

[newbDM]

With poison gas

In-character, or out-of-character to hide your shame as a DM?

[TengYt]

Why not both?

[Eldariel]

...D&D would be like Call of Cthulhu.

[RPGuru1331]

There wouldn't be a game. If yo'ure opposing the batman wizard he would kill you all at level 1, and if you were on his side he'd fix all the problems immediately.

I don't get it?

Every session would be as hellish as the Tomb of Horrors.

[newbDM]

Every session would be as hellish as the Tomb of Horrors.

Well, I got that much. But what is it about the Tomb of Horrors that won him the thread so quickly?

I have heard it mentioned here-and-there, but don't know what it really is/means.

[Kris Strife]

Tomb of horrors is a premade dungeon with 58745 traps, most of which are instantly lethal and give no saving throw.

[newbDM]

Tomb of horrors is a premade dungeon with 58745 traps, most of which are instantly lethal and give no saving throw.

58745?!

Please tell me you are exaggerating. Just a wee bit.

[Flickerdart]

Dang it, look what you had to go and do! Aristocrats are overpowered, and therefore right out! And we're using The Giant's Diplomacy fix! Also, Pazuzu doesn't exist, it's a low-magic world, and as you begin the game you find yourself in a room full of housecats, with shadowy darkness for concealment!

Anyone else wanna try something?

Are they Tucker's Housecats?

[Sstoopidtallkid]

58745?!

Please tell me you are exaggerating. Just a wee bit.

He's not. For example:

Spoiler

Show

There are 3 entrances. 2 of them are lethal instantly, the other leads to the Tomb.

Edit:My DM may run it today. If it's really humorous, I'll post the story to the board.

[newbDM]

Are they Tucker's Housecats?

This gets me thinking. For a very long time now I have wanted to run an entire encounter with PCs facing housecats. The look on a player's face when his beloved PC falls at the hands of a little kitty must me unique.

I have done it with goats once. One PC came back as a Lupin...

[newbDM]

He's not. For example:

Spoiler

Show

There are 3 entrances. 2 of them are lethal instantly, the other leads to the Tomb.

Edit:My DM may run it today. If it's really humorous, I'll post the story to the board.

But come on. In the 10s of ks?

I will admit, Gygax (may he rest in peace!) was a genius, but how can you even fit that many traps in a single module? It would need to be as thick as that 3rd party "Biggest adventure every!" book, which is as big as an encyclopedia, costs $100, and takes two years to complete. And for only $1?

Plus, who would have counted each and every one?

[Sstoopidtallkid]

This gets me thinking. For a very long time now I have wanted to run an entire encounter with PCs facing housecats. The look on a player's face when his beloved PC falls at the hands of a little kitty must me unique.

I have done it with goats once. One PC came back as a Lupin...

Perfectly doable, and easy to slaughter them with.

Spoiler

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CR 10 Rogue Housecat.
Size/Type: Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 10d6+20(55)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 30 ft
Armor Class: 14 (+2 size, +5 Dex), touch 19, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/-3
Attack: Claw +14 melee (1d2-2)
Full Attack: 2 claws +14 melee (1d2-4) and bite +12 melee (1d3-2)
Space/Reach: 2½ ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: —
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent, Evasion, Improved Uncanny Dodge,
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +12, Will +5
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 20, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills: Balance +13, Climb +9, Hide +30*, Jump +13, Move Silently +22, Tumble 18, Listen 15
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse, Underfoot Combat, Confound the Bigfolk, Craven

Gets SA of 5d6+10, can enter an opponents square without provoking AoOs making them flatfooted, can make the opponent the target of attacks, and generally will ruin your player's self-respect.