Awkward... Confess here!

[Prometheus]

We all have those awkward moments, and as a bunch of nerdy saying the first thing that comes to mind, we are bound to have a lot of them. I know I do. This is a thread to tell your tales of unbounded awkardness:

-So there was a player who left my DMing group (going to college). She said not to worry about her character. That same campaign continued quite a while, and I turned her old character into an NPC and advanced that plotline in her absence. Shortly after wrapping up all the loose ends there, I learn that she is back in town and was wondering if she could pick her character up where she left off. Awkward...

-So there is the NPC bard in one of my setting who is a local celebrity and due in part of an absurd Charisma score and a traveling lifestyle, is a bit of a player. I one occasion, I mention that they see him going off that night with two women. The party-clown comments "I bet they're all nasty and smell like fishes anyway." I jokingly retort "Not until after he's down with them." That came out way more sexual explicit than I intended, this being in front of my girlfriend, sister, and sister's husband. Awkward...

-So I made a thread (on these boards actually) about a character who is polymorphed into a rabbit. He was a bit of a chauvinist before he was a rabbit, so I mentioned some crude jokes that he'd make at the expense of human females and rabbit females. Then the thread came to a dead halt. A few days later I thought of why "Oh God! They must have taken me for a furry!" Awkward...

Tell a story! It feels good to be let free!

[Zeful]

-So there was a player who left my DMing group (going to college). She said not to worry about her character. That same campaign continued quite a while, and I turned her old character into an NPC and advanced that plotline in her absence. Shortly after wrapping up all the loose ends there, I learn that she is back in town and was wondering if she could pick her character up where she left off. Awkward...

Time travel and clones are your best bet.

[Lycan 01]

My friend brought her then-boyfriend to play with us. Neither of them knew how to play, but he didn't want to play. He only came along because she made him. I felt so bad for him... But every time I asked him a question about his character, who I was making for him, his usual answer would just be "I don't know" and/or "Whatever..."

I finally just cancelled the game... on account of the weather. O.o I saw that it was getting nasty outside, so I was like "Oh my, I can't make you all drive home in this weather. You'd best get back to your houses before it gets ugly!"

I got rid of everyone in record time compared to my other RPG groups and stuff.


And then there was the time me, my GF, and her best friend all had a coup against our then-DM and they elected me as the DM for life since I knew more about the game than he did - and I'd never even played before.

[starwoof]

Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.

[Lappy9000]

Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.

That is fantastic

[Collin152]

Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.

Ogres? Man, I got an Ogreslaying knife! It's got a +9 against Ogres!

[Shades of Gray]

I told you, you're not there. You're getting drunk remember?

[Lycan 01]

Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.

Did any secret DnD players come up to your afterwards and ask to join your group?

[celtois]

just a question wouldn't this fit better in the friendly banter board

mine is just the rogue in out group got her hands on a whip of gender changing...my character was the bard. No matter what I did my character was female in the morning no matter what I went to sleep as..its been three campaigns since then with the same dm and they still talk about it...
*sigh*

[starwoof]

Did any secret DnD players come up to your afterwards and ask to join your group?

Nah, even the ones which we had got beforehand were backing away.

Because playing dnd at school isn't already enough to make you a loser.

[Zocelot]

Ogres? Man, I got an Ogreslaying knife! It's got a +9 against Ogres!

My weapon of choice is my Sword of Ogre Decapitation.

[Daracaex]

My weapon of choice is my Sword of Ogre Decapitation.

The Shadow!

[Tengu_temp]

Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.

I'm sorry, I know it's horrible, but every time I read this I can't help but think of:
"I nail it for 4 damage!"

[AslanCross]

The Shadow!

The Shadow?

(quick, someone say it a third time.)

The Sword of Ogre Decapitation was indeed the first thing that came to mind when I saw that big OGRESLAYER.

[starwoof]

The Shadow?

The Shadow.

[Lycan 01]

Oh, it was also awkward when my little brother started asking me how hot a random NPC was. It got even more awkward when he started attempting - and failing - Diplomacy checks to... um... you know... with the NPC.

Spoiler

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It went from awkward to hilarious though when he said "I whip it out," and I handed him a D12 to see what his "Diplomacy Modifier" was without skipping a beat.

He rolled an 11.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

My first role-playing experiences were over Skype calls during HS. Which was very fun, and I continued playing after I went off to college. The problem is that my room's connection can't handle the call on top of the rest of my internet usage, so I have to play in the comp lab. I spend friday nights surrounded by people writing essays saying stuff like "Kill it! Cut it's damn head off! Don't worry about him, he's not worth saving, just make sure THAT THING is DEAD!"

It's been a fun couple of years.

[Vagnarok]

My first role-playing experiences were over Skype calls during HS. Which was very fun, and I continued playing after I went off to college. The problem is that my room's connection can't handle the call on top of the rest of my internet usage, so I have to play in the comp lab. I spend friday nights surrounded by people writing essays saying stuff like "Kill it! Cut it's damn head off! Don't worry about him, he's not worth saving, just make sure THAT THING is DEAD!"

It's been a fun couple of years.

Oh, it was also awkward when my little brother started asking me how hot a random NPC was. It got even more awkward when he started attempting - and failing - Diplomacy checks to... um... you know... with the NPC.

Spoiler

Show

It went from awkward to hilarious though when he said "I whip it out," and I handed him a D12 to see what his "Diplomacy Modifier" was without skipping a beat.

He rolled an 11.

Gold. Both pure gold.

[Lycan 01]

It got worse when his friend used the same tactic on an Intimidate check when he threatened to rape a squad of Kobolds.

Spoiler

Show

And he was a Dragonborn, to boot.

[Matticus]

I threw myself over a chasm knowing full well that there were some monstrous spiders hiding *above* us, with just a knife in my hand. Real action-star. Fell about fifty feet, failed some grapple checks, got the crap ripped out of me by a giant arachnid before a party member levitated me back to the top of the chasm.

Some players were absent in a World of Darkness game, so I played their Werewolf characters for the day, planning on just using them for some basic melee and not taking too many risks.
ONE little gaming session and they're dead at my hands.

[OracleofWuffing]

Well, the DM asks the group to come up with a level 10 character for the sake of experimenting with new things (We've mostly been playing 5-7, with a very low amount of magic items). I decide to start investigating the flying movement rules, so I rolled up a Raptoran Warlock. Skipping the stuff that's not important, the other guy's Dwarven Geomancer starts making breakfast one morning.

"What's for breakfast?"
"Eggs. And whatever you can scavange for yourself."
" What... kind of eggs?"
"I don't know, these things were just- Wait, you guys- your people, they don't..."
"...We... Hatch."
"That... That's... interesting."

I'm no longer allowed to show page 75 of Races of the Wild to anyone in my group.

[Count D20]

I'm no longer allowed to show page 75 of Races of the Wild to anyone in my group.

Oh noes teh babies!!!

There was the time my character tried to use feminine wiles on the djinni trying to get info, forgetting that he was about 20 feet tall and my dm was my straight male best friend.

[ghost_warlock]

A few years back a friend of mine was playtesting a new RPG system with his gaming group and I took part in the experiment. We were playing in a little study-nook in the college center (contained the cafeteria, a little fast-food grill are, computer lab, etc.) where there was a lot of people passing by on their way to/from class or other stuff.

The game was set in a 20-minutes-in-the-future Los Angelos where the mafia and yakuza were at war.

My character was a ronin-type swordsman and former assassin with a particularly cynical viewpoint on the whole scenario and was a bit brutal in his attempts to simply survive. As a joke of sorts, I took a low-point-value intolerance flaw, specifying ninjas as the subject of my intolerance. I wrote a couple anti-ninja slogans in the 'quotes' section of the character sheet, some pretty vulgar. Since the game was only meant to be a one-or-two session 'campaign,' I just didn't expect it to come up.

Unfortunately, my friend the gamemaster decided to attempt using it for comedy gold - immediately dropping the campaign into an hour-long (real time) car chase where the party, hostage in hand, was being chased around by ninjas in minivans. My character, no initially involved, became involved when he saw the pajamas-ninjas chasing after the party, everyone but my character riding around in minivans (my character rode a motorcycle, of course).

When the car chase ground to a halt and the resulting firefight was also finishing up, my character found himself surrounded by a horde of katana-wielding ninjas. I dropped the first couple fairly easily but decided to go for an intimidate-type check to even the odds a bit.

Everyone was getting a bit worked-up at this point and getting into character, miming actions and getting a little loud. After my character dropped another ninja, I stood up suddenly, pointed at my friend/the gamemaster as if my character was pointing at a ninja, and shouted loudly:

"I am going to kill you and [defecate] in your corpse's mouth!"

Traffic passing by the nook ground to a halt and everyone in the area just stood there and stared at me. After a couple seconds my friend, and the other guys at the table, burst into laughter. All the spectators seemed to decide it was some kind of messed up joke and went on with their business.

The whole time I was gaming with that group, though, I never lived down the idea of coprophagous ninjas.

[Serpentine]

Yay coprophagy!
<.<
>.>
v.v

Mine are more of "oh hey... I (DM) have really cocked up" sorts of situations. For example, one of my players was away one week, so I had his character (a female gnome cleric/sorcerer/arcane thingamabob) kidnapped by kobolds. When he came back, I ran a one-on-one game. So, she was stripped - of everything, if I recall correctly, everything - and chucked in a cell. Her stuff was left in a pile, with a bunch of kobolds going through it. She used Mage Hand to escape once or twice but was caught again. The third time, the player was sort of sitting there, looking at his sheets, not saying anything. He didn't ask me anything, for any details or whatever. Just sat there. Finally, it dawned on me: "You don't have any other spells without material components, do you?" "Nope."
*headdesk*
Wish he'd mentioned that earlier...

[SoD]

"What's for breakfast?"
"Eggs. And whatever you can scavange for yourself."
" What... kind of eggs?"
"I don't know, these things were just- Wait, you guys- your people, they don't..."
"...We... Hatch."
"That... That's... interesting."

Oh good lord, I'm sorry, but that is hilarious!

Yeah, that's my entire contribution.

[elliott20]

I told you, you're not there. You're getting drunk remember?

are there any girls there?

[ghost_warlock]

Yay coprophagy!

Mind if I sig that?

(Just kidding )

[Hallavast]

You were role playing so what does OOC gender's have to do with anything?

It can present an unwanted degree of difficulty to roleplay. Remember, most of us are not actors here. There is no rehearsing. There is no makeup. There are no costumes or props or special effects. Pretending to hit on an attractive female while looking Dave the Sweaty Dungeonmaster in the bearded face is easier said than done.

[Brauron]

One time, while I was playing in a particularly LOUSY game, between sessions I was discussing the game with a fellow player, specifically discussing strategies to help the DM become better at DMing, since he had just killed three characters accidentally, not realizing that 5 Purple Worms are more than a party of five 6th-level characters without any form of magic can handle.

My fellow player suggested "Maybe we could just smack him with the rulebooks until he learns to read them, and not just look at the pictures?"

At which point, the DM appeared behind him.

Awkward.

[Telonius]

Two years ago my gaming group met in my school's cafeteria to play a session before school started (it was a 2 hour late start day). The game was going well until my 1st level fighter killed an ogre in one swing of his bastard sword.

I stood up and shouted
"I AM THE OGRESLAYER!"

And then everyone started to back away from me lest they become social pariahs.

Sounds like one of my group's stories.

Except it was in college, a troop of prospective students were walking into the lounge, and we were running Sunless Citadel. The DM, getting totally in character, stood up and shouted,
"I am the Queen of the Kobolds!"