Break my cliche

[Cookiemobsta]

So we've all seen them. The mysterious cloaked figure with a troubled past. The mystical wizard who knows all but speaks only in cryptic riddles that make sense only after they would have been useful. The wise-cracking halfling rouge, the dim-witted barbarian, the gruff dwarf paladin, etc.
And we've probably, at one point or another, been tempted to play them but they're just too cliche.
So that's where this thread comes in. The challenge is to break the cliches; use the basic cliche idea as the starting point, but put in some significant twist that will change it significantly and break it free from cliche. It'll be interesting because when your character (or NPC) is introduced, the other players will expect it to be like the cliche, so when the twist is revealed the surprise will be much greater. If you like, you can post a cliche that you break, then another cliche that you challenge the next poster to break, or you can just comment as you like. I'll give an example.
Cliche: Quickwitted, wise-cracking halfling rouge. The only thing sharper than his dagger is his wit, he's always ready with a one-liner to make everyone laugh or a quick bluff to get out of trouble. He gets into mischief but you can't help but like him.
Broken cliche: Dull-witted, wise-cracking half-orc rogue. Through some freak of genetics this half-orc has actually managed to learn the arts of stealth but a quick wit was not part of the package. However, he tries very, very hard to fit in with the other rouges. He may come unarmed to every battle of wits but that doesn't stop him from fighting anyhow. Instead of witty banter with the enemy, he is prone to resort to "Yeah, well so's your mom" or "Your face!" and his bluff checks tend towards the "Uhh... no I didn't" and the "Your shoe's untied." The key to the character, though, is that he has to try very hard to be witty and silver-tongued. If he's simply a sneaky orc that fails whenever he opens his mouth, but mostly keeps his mouth shut, that's no good. This has to be a thief who tries to emulate the rogues that talk their way out of problems--the only difference is that he's no good at it.
Now the challenge.
Break my cliche: The cloaked figure with a troubled past. The fellow who sits in the corner in a tavern, tends to have elaborate angsty backstories that never get revealed because they never interact with the party, and always, always has a cloak.
Ok, good luck!

[hamishspence]

its like the Dwarfs & Elves are bestest buddies concept- just reversing the cliche isn't as funny as parodying it, or doing tricks with it, when it's a straight reversal.

[Tacoma]

The cliche: The cloaked figure with a troubled past. The fellow who sits in the corner in a tavern, tends to have elaborate angsty backstories that never get revealed because they never interact with the party, and always, always has a cloak.

Broken: As the party approaches, expecting a treasure map or offer of a mission, the man lurches forward and his cloak falls open. Inside are eight confused and startled ducks holding up the man's arms and hat with sticks. One duck is lying on the ground stunned. He rolled a 1 on his Bluff check.

[BRC]

Simple, for extra cliche, give this character a characteristic scar on his face that the cloak is largely used to hide.


The Backstory, He had a sword in a back-scabbard, when he was drawing it to show it off. He messed up and accidentally cut his face open, (causing the scar), he dosn't talk to people for fear they will ask how he got the scar, he dosn't want people to know about such an embarassing accident, but dosn't feel comfortable lying to them, so he remains withdrawn in the hopes that everybody assumes he got the scar in a suitably badass manner.

[kamikasei]

Break my cliche: The cloaked figure with a troubled past. The fellow who sits in the corner in a tavern, tends to have elaborate angsty backstories that never get revealed because they never interact with the party, and always, always has a cloak.
Ok, good luck!

He doesn't actually have a troubled past. He's a pretty bland and uninteresting guy who was getting nowhere in his adventuring career, so he figured out that if he makes himself seem mysterious people will take him more seriously, he'll get more job offers, and so on. He hints around his reasons for not revealing his appearance (he's a wanted man; he's tragically disfigured; he's inhumanly beautiful) but the truth is he's just too forgettably ordinary-looking.

He has a happy family somewhere with whom he secretly stays in contact but who are unaware of his true activities. He dreads his adventuring colleagues ever meeting them.

Break this cliche: the noble youth who plunged himself into the study of necromancy after the death of his adorable younger sister.

[Tacoma]

I lost my eye when I was taking a drink from a coconut with a little umbrella in it.

[Piedmon_Sama]

Break this cliche: the noble youth who plunged himself into the study of necromancy after the death of his adorable younger sister.

The truth is, he never had a sister. Or any siblings. And as the son of high-ranking nobles, his parents were virtually absentee. So as an isolated boy, he developed an extremely strong delusion of having a sweet little sister, whom he doted on.... even though to everyone else he'd clearly gone off his rocker. Finding him an embarrassment, his parents sent him away, and while in the safety of isolation he resolved that while his sister was clearly real, something would have to be done about her inconvenient incorpreality (he knew she didn't, strictly speaking, have a body. He wasn't dumb.)

So if what his sweet sister lacked was a body, why, he'd just make her one. Even if he had to stitch it together.

The thing about this character would be that he is truly insane. There is no Sister, but he's convinced if he can find the right ritual, he'll "restore" her to a body. Also, since he has to travel abroad, he made up the story that his sister died in order to deflect suspicion (and he only speaks to her when he thinks no one is listening now).

[Prometheus]

Broken cliche: ...Instead of witty banter with the enemy, he is prone to resort to "Yeah, well so's your mom" or "Your face!" and his bluff checks tend towards the "Uhh... no I didn't" and the "Your shoe's untied." ...

I'll take the cliche thanks.

Break my cliche: The cloaked figure with a troubled past. The fellow who sits in the corner in a tavern, tends to have elaborate angsty backstories that never get revealed because they never interact with the party, and always, always has a cloak.

This person does in fact sit in the corner with a troubled past. If you approach him looking for a story, he will stab you and walk out the tavern muttering and screaming about troglodytes before the town gaurd subdue him and drag him to an insane asylum.

Break this cliche: the noble youth who plunged himself into the study of necromancy after the death of his adorable younger sister.

The noble you who plunged himself into the study of necromancy after the undeath of his adorable younger sister

Spoiler

Show

"HOLD STILL WHILE I GRAFT YOUR FAIRY WINGS!"

Oh an Tacoma. WTF that is so awesome.

[Crow]

Break this cliche: the noble youth who plunged himself into the study of necromancy after the death of his adorable younger sister.

His sister was later animated as a zombie. Forced to destroy the abomination which had once been his sister, the youth delved into the study of necromancy not to create the undead, but to destroy them.

My cliche: The dwarf who's only cares in the world are ale, good food, and brawling.

[Tacoma]

The dwarf is the equivalent of a trailer park dweller. He's an alcoholic, preferring the kinds of cheap alcohol that get you drunk regardless of their effects upon you in the morning.

He's completely corpulent, sweating furiously, his flesh squelching out from between his shoddy armor. He likes food, regardless of quality, and will often eat foods that other people would shun.

He is the kind of man who would throw away a radio without turning it off first.

And finally, he likes to watch brawling, but he has no skill whatsoever. That doesn't stop his constant bravado, how he compares himself so readily to the gladiatorial heroes he slavishly fawns over, how he denigrates other fighting styles while proclaiming that his favored one is "the real thing" and "totally deadly".

The stench of his rotting teeth once made a little girl cry. It's not often he realizes that he soiled himself. His beard is scraggly and moist, festooned with crumbs and smears of grease. When he becomes very excited he sweats even more vigorously, pumps his arms up and down, clenches his pudgy fingers in a weak semblance of a fist, his eyes widen and his tongue works the grease around his mouth in a revolting glee.

His wife is an unhappy woman.

[Keld Denar]

My cliche: The dwarf who's only cares in the world are ale, good food, and brawling.

A short and heavily bearded Richard Simons, complete with bouncy attitude and Spandex +3.

[Aneantir]

My cliche: The dwarf who's only cares in the world are ale, good food, and brawling.

The dwarf used to be a high ranking nobleman(noble-dwarf?) of a rather large city that used to exist in a nearby mountainside. His home, at one point, came under attack by a large, to the point of excessive, size force of goblinoids and orcs. The dwarf is the sole survivor of the attack, and after he had escaped and found his way to the next town he stopped in at the local tavern to drink, and has yet to stop.

[Siegel]

The dwarf who comes from an tribe of gem carvers and grinders. The tribe settles in a dessert region with lots of arabian (1001 nights style) citys nearby. The dwarfs are strongly influenced by this culture. They wear these clothes and turbans and stuff and normaly fight in a swachbuckler-roughe-duellist style using (broad) short swords. His goal is to find the perfect gem (that lies in a brain of a dragon (his belief)) so that he can propose to the woman he loves.

[Laharal]

Cliche:
The independent, chaotic rogue who always act on a impulse. Doesn't have any concern about the law and only seeks easy-money.

Half-Broken cliché: The skillful assasin raised by an order of Templars. He was raised within a strict moral code in which planification and honor are the core(Loyal-Neutral). Though he may have questionable means, his personal goals are far from glitter and shiny gp's.

Cliché to be broken: The religious-zealot paladin that has a mindless (litterary) interpretation of his holy texts. Can't blink an eye if the Archbishop doesn't tell him to do so, same thing for breathing.

[BRC]

The Dwarf in question is, in fact, a noted sociologist, his goal is to study humanoid aggression across cultures so he can aid diplomats. If people understand what makes certain races and cultures aggressive, he can figure out how to prevent and end wars. He dosn't actually drink in those taverns, he merely pretends to so that people don't know he's studying them. He often provokes brawls as an experiment, to see which behavior and insults are most likely to trigger aggresive behavior, in addition to observing others provoking conflict.

[Siegel]

Cliche:
The independent, chaotic rogue who always act on a impulse. Doesn't have any concern about the law and only seeks easy-money.

Half-Broken cliché: The skillful assasin raised by an order of Templars. He was raised within a strict moral code in which planification and honor are the core(Loyal-Neutral). Though he may have questionable means, his personal goals are far from glitter and shiny gp's.

Elven roughe who studys one topic for years. Everything he does is based on plenty of years of experience. He thinks before he kills. He thinks every consequence through before doing something.

Edit : buggar... I just realized we have to include the cliche in some way... stupid me...

[Laharal]

Originally Posted by Crow
My cliche: The dwarf who's only cares in the world are ale, good food, and brawling.

Deepened/explained cliché: The dwarf in question has grown in a poor, violent, ruthless and lawless neighbourhood. He is seen by the majority of the "common" dwarf as a delinquent and brutish person. He solves his problems with his fists or with liquor because these are the only 2 things he learned in life. He joined the party to get a hold of himslef and found some inner-peace to prevent him from auto-destruction.

[Crow]

Cliché to be broken: The religious-zealot paladin that has a mindless (litterary) interpretation of his holy texts. Can't blink an eye if the Archbishop doesn't tell him to do so, same thing for breathing.

The Paladin is actually a huge butt-kisser. He does everything the archbishop tells him so that he may further his career within the church. The Paladin is not really a mindless religious zealot, but his ambitions require him to appear so, at least for a while.

...Paladin may or may not have fallen already...

Cliche to be Broken: The look-but-don't-touch King's daughter. The one who wouldn't last a day in a poor man's shoes, let alone on a sojourn through the wilderness.

(Don't break it by using the rebellious or adventurous King's daughter...that counts as cliched too.)

[Siegel]

The Paladin is actually a huge butt-kisser. He does everything the archbishop tells him so that he may further his career within the church. The Paladin is not really a mindless religious zealot, but his ambitions require him to appear so, at least for a while.

...Paladin may or may not have fallen already...

Cliche to be Broken: The look-but-don't-touch King's daughter. The one who wouldn't last a day in a poor man's shoes, let alone on a sojourn through the wilderness.

(Don't break it by using the rebellious or adventurous King's daughter...that counts as cliched too.)

#1 She is cursed so that she will day when having contact with a male person
#2 She is really really really ugly. Her father pais and illusionist to hide her uglyness but this illusion can be seen through quite fast when you touch her
#3 She is affrad of relationships and getting hurt by her partner.

#1 #2 #3 But she still want's to see if she can be attractive towards a partner to raise her self esteem

[Tacoma]

Cliche: The religious-zealot paladin that has a mindless (literal) interpretation of his holy texts. Can't blink an eye if the Archbishop doesn't tell him to do so, same thing for breathing.

Broken: The paladin is not told to breathe in some time.

Sorry.

Broken: The Archbishop receives an order from the higher temple leadership. A certain passage of the holy texts is reinterpreted and it means a small shift in religious policy.
He fears telling the paladin about this. He sits in his office, a single light illuminating his face. Rain patters on the lead-grid stained glass window. It's dark outside. His left hand is gripping a large crystal tumbler with a tiny pool of amber liquor in the bottom. An empty bottle with a faded label sits at his arm.
His right hand holds an elaborate silver pistol engraved with the symbols of his church.
He raises the pistol to his temple. He lowers it. He raises it again. And in the dim light he sees the paladin's silhouette in the doorway. The paladin is dripping wet. In his hand is a scroll with the feathered seal of the temple headquarters.
The Archbishop gazes into the paladin's clear eyes, and the paladin nods solemnly.
Out in the churchyard a monk hurrying along under a covered stone walkway is startled as a single shot rings out.

[Aneantir]

Cliche to be Broken: The look-but-don't-touch King's daughter. The one who wouldn't last a day in a poor man's shoes, let alone on a sojourn through the wilderness.

(Don't break it by using the rebellious or adventurous King's daughter...that counts as cliched too.)

Her father actually doesn't give her much wealth with which to spend on frivolous things, so she dabbles in prostitution to support her hobbies. In order to keep things anonymous she has trained in the arcane arts, spending all of her spells per day on Alter Self.

[Tacoma]

Cliche: The look-but-don't-touch King's daughter. The one who wouldn't last a day in a poor man's shoes, let alone on a sojourn through the wilderness.

Broken: "She" is actually triplets. One of them is male. He is seduced when it's his "turn" to be princess by a handsome foreign prince. But the king (who was deceived and believes he has just one daughter) announces that the princess's hand in marriage will go to only one suitor. There must be a contest!

Only one suitor arrives. No others were interested.

And so the foreign prince is married to the young do-not-touch prince, and they live happily ever after.

The other two princesses are also happy because they do not have to be married. One becomes a wild nature druid and the other a studious book wizard who values her quiet time. They must live together in one castle! Hilarity ensues!

[Beholder1995]

Kay, I've got a semi-cliche to break.

Apparently gentlemanly Beholders with monacles are cliched. At least, according to another playgrounder... >_>...

[Siegel]

Cliché to be broken: The religious-zealot paladin that has a mindless (litterary) interpretation of his holy texts. Can't blink an eye if the Archbishop doesn't tell him to do so, same thing for breathing.

He is the last mohikan, last of his kind and only bringer of the gods words. His religion is nearly dead and long forgoten. He has a last order to kill X but X is so wealthy and strong and influencial that is it nearly impossible, but still he has to do it to at least close this chapter of church history in a good way.

really tragical...

[Tacoma]

The beholder is a gentleman with a top hat and monocle, and goatee. War breaks out! He is called to the front lines with other young men. But his family has connections, and so he enters officer school.

He becomes a naval officer. One day his ship is attacked by a kraken on one side and a rowboat full of goblins on the other. He blasts the rowboat with his Disintegration Ray (which can target objects) and the crew valiantly fights off the kraken until the beholder can focus his Cause Serious Wounds ray through his Monocle of Reversal.

You see, his excellent training taught him to recognize a dreaded Zombie Kraken when he saw one. So the positive energy spell blasted the kraken, and the ship carried out its other duties.

The young officer was decorated for his valiant efforts, and retired in a Home for Retired Beholders. Most of the staff were worried on a day to day basis about constipation and death rays.

EDIT: I imagined that your hat would have little steampunky eyeports with glass porthole covers so your little eyes could see out of your tophat like it was a turret.

[BRC]

Cliche: The son of a kind and wealthy merchant house whose family was driven into destitute poverty when an assasin killed his father and stole all their valuables. The young man now swears vengence against this assasin.

Broken: The Character had, in fact, HIRED the assasin, who was just supposed to kill his father so he could inheriet the family's wealth and fortune.The Assasin took his pay, then stole the valuables, leaving the kid nothing.

[Tacoma]

Cliche: The son of a kind and wealthy merchant house whose family was driven into destitute poverty when an assasin killed his father and stole all their valuables. The young man now swears vengence against this assasin.

Broken: The wealthy merchant was in fact the assassin! But he had sworn an oath to see any job through, and so he had to kill himself.

But the job required that the old man "not see it coming" and so the assassin had to devise a method where he would die without knowing when or how or where.

And so the elderly assassin raided his bank account and spent the money on an assassin who could kill him while he disguised himself as a tailor in the dock district. A bum would be hired to transport and redress his corpse to his home on the other side of town.

He unknowingly hired his son.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I'm sure I've heard something alot like that somewhere before but for the life of me I can't remember where. I remember it being really funny though.

[Tacoma]

It was probably about Kramer and those pants he was supposed to deliver. But he fell in the mud on the way there. And it turns out he was wearing the pants at the time so now they're muddy.

And then the man who owned the pants became very angry.

[Agrippa]

Cliche to be Broken: The look-but-don't-touch King's daughter. The one who wouldn't last a day in a poor man's shoes, let alone on a sojourn through the wilderness.

(Don't break it by using the rebellious or adventurous King's daughter...that counts as cliched too.)

Broken: The princess was trained from the age of six as master soldier by her own father so she could be fit to inherit his throne if needed. The princess is a kind, cheerful, beautiful and outgoing young woman who can kill a 7' tall fully armored knight with pinky finger. She's learning military tactics, strategy and logistics from her father's generals, engineering from the artificers guild and chemistry from the alchemists guild.

Her father, the king taught her wilderness survival and how to take care of her self on the streets just in case. She also constructed 17 repeating balistas on rising platforms covered by false masonry trapdoors in case of dragon attack (hasn't happened to her country 300 years) and arial attack by rival kingdoms (never happened to anyone, yet). When a man tried to rape her sister, our princess killed him with a tea cup. She also keeps at least six knives on her person at all times. Her father is very proud of her.