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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-14, 09:31 AM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 09:44 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-14 at 09:44 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-14, 09:53 AM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 09:54 AM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 10:00 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-14, 10:16 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Awww! The drawing is jaw-meltingly adorable. :) And very very well-done, too.
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2009-09-14, 10:16 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I rolled up
All of the Demon Roaches at once + The entire Hobgoblin army...
In the afterlife
!!!
i need my bleach just for thinking of that one
also, (this is a real one)
Xykon + Thanh + Haley's Dad + Thog + Monster in the Dark + Soon Kim
Adultery + Drunkenness + Everyone is a furry version of themselves
Also,
Being proudly displayed for the rest of ever is all my work ever wants to be!!!
any ideas for how to make it pg-13 though???Last edited by Funky Goose; 2009-09-14 at 10:43 AM.
Live each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.
~Proverb
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2009-09-14, 10:34 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I feel way too uncomfortable continueing on the RoyxElan story.
Nice pic of V, though. XD
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2009-09-14, 10:46 AM (ISO 8601)
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This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-14, 11:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 11:25 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Put your mind in the gutter and read what you just typed.
As for story length, the longer the better. More for us to read! The only problem is, if you expand on what was initially meant to be a short thing written for laughs, it can end up being tricky to develop the relationship any further.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-09-14 at 11:39 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-14, 11:33 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-14, 11:41 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I think a banner for ElanxRoy could be like this:
Elan is kissing Roy on the mouth, but we only see Elan's back. Roy has a horrified expression and his arms are flailing around as he's trying to escape. XD
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2009-09-14, 12:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 12:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 12:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
@ Belkster11: Bravo on portraying V so well! I'm glad Elan went to her (yes, I think V is a her...) rather than Durkon. Although, for comedy's sake, have Elan ask Durkon for advice next! Maybe have him ask if Durkon's ever done something really... out of character... while drunk, and have Durkon have a weird flashback or something.
No matter what route the story takes, I'll continue to read it. You're doing a good job with it, and I'd hate to see you stop now!
@ Saeyan: You deserve a cookie for being such an awesome artist. A really big cookie...
What if I wrote both?
I'll probably get to work on the IFCC x O-Chul (with pregnancy) story in a little bit. I have a very... odd... idea as to how to make that work. Just trust me on this one...
I've also got an idea on how to make Miko x Redcloak work... But I'm not sure how raising the dead works in 3.5e. From what I can tell, Raise Dead just makes the deceased into a mindless, worthless zombie that lacks most of the skills it had in real life, but they're also under your complete control. Resurrect brings the person back, mind and abilities intact, but they're not under anyone else's control.
Then again, I bet if Xykon, Redcloak, and Tsukiko got together and worked hard enough on it, they could... hmmm...
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-14, 01:46 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 02:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I feel that I'm holding myself back. Maybe I should just go all out, what do you say?
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2009-09-14, 02:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
My very first try with the pairing generator was The Very Dangerous TrapxThe Very Dangerous Trap except they're both furries.
My next try was HaleyxBone Golem Roy with Snowed In. I guess I can see that. Before the party is reunited, it snows a lot and Haley is trapped in a separate building with Bone Golem Roy and I'm just gonna stop there. I wonder what Ghost Roy's reaction would be to popping in on Haley during that scene.
And now I'm getting nothing but Horace GreenhiltxRoy's Sword.Last edited by Meg; 2009-09-14 at 02:50 PM.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-09-14, 03:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 03:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Roy's Archon + The dragon's hoard= 3 Cookies
Roy + Sarah Greenhilt Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)= 7 Cookies
Celia + Belkar Huzzah!(One-Sided Love)= 3 Cookies
Roy's sword + Miko Ooo... Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)= 20 Cookies
LOL! The dice are Evil!
I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!!!!
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2009-09-14, 04:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-14, 04:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Well, I haven't got much anything better to do. So while the topic is still small enough, let's roll up another crack pairing! *Yes, I have actual dice*
-Miko X The Snarl...nah...a bit too meta for my taste.
-Elan X Haley's Dad X Roy's Archon... I'm afraid I'm not talented enough to do this justice.
-Thahn X Yor...Eeehh...pass.
-Monster in the Dark X The Snarl...now we're getting somewhere...
-Kazumi X Durkon while under the effects of Thor's Might...Oh what the heck? I'll do it!
Spoiler
Six years after the resealing of the Snarl gates, Durkon, after being revived by the new High Priest of Thor (Who knew nothing about his prophecy) was sent on a mission once again to the Human Lands. This time, to build relations with the new leader of their Southern allies. Hinjo was more than happy to see Durkon return, seeing the Order of the Stick as an ultimately good force in the universe. Durkon was happy to see the city because it had been a long time since he had returned to any of the lands where Roy had taken him long ago, and seeing the city again brought many memories back. One memory, a happy one, stuck out more than the others; the one time in all his adventures he was able to feel truly comfortable in his role as a priest.
"'Tis Good 'ta see you an' Diago be gettin' along well, lass."
"Thank you, Durkon. Really, it means a lot to me that you'd come to visit us after so long."
The house Kato, a house that Durkon himself had forged years ago. A small house, with but three members; the young heir to the house, Diago, and Kasumi, the beautiful woman who sat before Durkon even now.
Durkon didn't often think of the beauty of other races, but of all the women he had met in his travels, Kasumi was by far the fiercest of warriors, and most elegant of blossoms at the same time.
"I do hope yer' marriage not be sufferin' in any way." He added, drinking some of the tea that Kasumi had prepared.
"Mm...well, there is one thing that's been...lacking as of late..." The frustration in Kasumi's voice was not well-hidden, and the dwarf caught onto it almost immediately.
"Why, lass, what be wrong? Surely I can do somethin' fer' ya?"
"Oh no Durkon it's...well..." Kasumi set her tea down, standing up to gaze out the window. "Diago...he's been trying to solidify this house, and lately, he hasn't had any time for...well..."
"For tha' lad?"
"No, for his wife." She groaned, her frustration even more evident to the dwarf. "I mean, It's not like I'm some old hag, Durkon. I'm twenty-eight. But the way he treats me, you'd think I was forty years old! I mean look!" She turned, opening her robes to show her body to the dwarf. Beneath her robes was a tight black bra and panties, laced, hugging at her hips and considerable assets equally. "Does this look like a fourty-year-old body to you?"
Durkon spit out his tea at the sight of her. "N-Nay lass...it...er..."
"Oh Durkon...I...I just need someone to show me a little comfort..." She sighed, letting her robe fall without tying it, walking closer to the dwarf. "A real, real man..." And then, she shook her head at him. "But...you're just a puny man...you could never satisfy me..."
Very few things could make Durkon angry. A lack of ale, disrespect towards Thor, true, unimaginable evil, but the one thing that enraged him most was being called "puny".
"PUNY?! Oy' lass! I ain't no gnome 'ere! I'm a Dwarf! I AM A MAN!"
"Pah...you're barely any taller than-"
"THOR'S MIGHT!"
Durkon's body swelled to fill the room, stopping just short of the ceiling, a grin on his face, as he removed the ceremonial robes of diplomacy.
"Oh my...Y-you really ARE a big man..." Kasumi blushed and stared at the dwarf, in shock at how wrong she was about him...and how she wanted him so. "Oh Durkon..."
OH GODS LET IT END! D:
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2009-09-14, 04:46 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
My turn with the dice! :D
Old Blind Pete X Cleric of Loki (Before the betrayal and all)
Therkla X Thog
Haley X Therkla
Roy X Durkon
Redcloak X Xykon
Sangwaan X Hinjo
Sangwaan X O-Chul
Hinjo X O-Chul
Redcloak X O-Chul
Elan X V
Hmmm...did I do that correctly?Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-09-14 at 04:46 PM.
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2009-09-14, 04:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Just don't go over-board. I'd like the characters to stay mostly in character...
Well then, a happy camper is you...
Kazumi x Therkla
Spoiler
Moonlight glistened off the dagger clutched in Therkla's hand as she slowly crept in through the window. Her orders from Lord Kabuto had been clear - leave no member of House Kato alive. As luck would have it, the patriarch Daigo had been sent out on a scouting mission on a nearby island, leaving his beloved wife all alone. And defenceless...
Therkla strode through the shadows, following the sounds of a woman snoring as she snuck around the Kato's vessel. She managed to avoid the few guards stationed on the ship, and it didn't take her long to creep into Kazumi's bedchamber. Therkla looked around the room. It was mostly empty, except for the bed, which was covered in thick blankets and poofy pillows. At least the matriarch of House Kato would die comfortably, and with a matching bed set...
As Therkla snuck over to the bed, she couldn't help but feel a slight twing of guilt. Here she was, a believer in true love, about to destroy a young couple's hopes and dreams. But orders were orders... Therkla soon found herself standing over the sleeping form of Kazumi Kato, dagger in hand. The young noblewoman's face poked out from under a thick blanket, obscuring the location of her body. Therkla didn't want to stab her in the face, but she also didn't want to just start jabbing randomly into the blanket and hope she hit something vital. So, slowly and methodically, Therkla grasped the blanket and slowly pulled it back so she could get a clear shot at Kazumi's heart.
Shortly there-after, she yanked the blanket back up to Kazumi's neck and struggled to suppress a gasp. Two things had struck her as she'd pulled back the blanket. The first thing was the horrifying discovery that Kazumi believed that sleeping was a "clothing optional" activity. The second thing that struck her was the even more horrifying discovery that Kazumi was pregnant! Nobody had mentioned that little tid-bit of info! She began to panick as she realized that she couldn't afford to disobey her orders, but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Unable to think clearly with a constricting and heat-absorbing mask on her face, Therkla ripped his ninja hood off and sighed silently. "I can't do this..." Therkla whispered to herself, wiping sweat from her brow. "I may be evil, but I'm not Chaotic evil... I'll just have to tell Lord Kabuto that she wasn't here, or that she defeated me somehow. But he'll never believe that. After all, how could she catch a ninja off guard?" Therkla smirked.
As if on cue, Kazumi's hands shot up from under the blanket and grabbed the horrified Half-Orc by the shoulders. "Daigo, baby..." Kazumi smiled dumbly with barely-open eyes, apparently still half asleep. "I missed you so much. C'mere and lemme give my sweetie a kiss..."
Therkla was in shock. She'd been caught off guard. The next thing she knew, she was being dragged down towards the sleeping woman, her lithe ninja frame no match against the power of "love" Kazumi possessed. As their faces drew closer, Therkla realized that there was no escape. She opened her mouth to scream... but her voice was swiftly silenced.
---
The next morning, Lord Kabuto went downstairs to find Therkla. She hadn't yet come by to tell him about how the mission had gone - obviously a bad sign. He found Quarr standing outside her quarters, the little Imp hovering about looking worried. "Quarr..." Lord Kabuto frowned. "Where is Therkla?"
"HUUUUURRRRRKKK!!!" somebody gagged from the other side of the door.
"She's... uh... sick, sir..." Quarr shrugged.
"Sick?" Kabuto arched an eyebrow. "How? Since when?"
"I'm guessing a poison or something..." Quarr replied. "She's been sick all morning. I don't think her mission went well last night."
"What makes you say that?"
"BLLLAAAAAARRRGGRRGGR..."
"Well... When she got back, she had this really horrified expression on her face. She was also a lot... greener, than usual. Oh, and she had bruises all over the sides of her neck..."
"Really now?"
"She kept saying that she didn't stand a chance, and that she was no match... I think she must have lost a battle with another ninja, and they poisoned her. She must have managed to escape when they tried to strangle her..." Quarr surmised.
"HUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGHHHHKKK......"
"Blast!" Kabuto snarled. "Shinjo must have ninjas of his own assigned to protect the Katos... I'll have to hold off on attacking them again for awhile. Hm... Well, inform Therkla that I hope she feels better, and I'm glad she made it back alright. Of course, its no suprise she managed to escape. She's my best agent. There's no way she would be caught completely off guard..." Kabuto smirked.
"BLEEEEEEKKKKKKKGGRGGRRRGGRK!!!!!!"
Poor Therkla...Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-14, 06:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Qarr x (1.67E15)Q, with Qarr as the submissive partner allowing itself to be strapped to an ever-rotating Gear of Perfect Law.
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2009-09-14, 08:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Hey folks, the new thread is UP!
Here's to the first 49 pages, and to 50 more! *Raises a glass of non-alcoholic, non-descript drink*It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-14, 08:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-09-14, 08:31 PM (ISO 8601)
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