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2009-11-07, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Depends how it's going to work. We could announce the categories here, then giving people until the start of the next thread to post things if they're going for a specific category. Then we start voting when the new thread starts.
Or we could just make it a free-for-all and let people vote whenever something new comes up, but that could get hard to keep track of...
Are we going to have fanart categories as well as fanfiction?
Best Face, for instance.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-08 at 08:38 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-07, 04:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-07, 04:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-07, 04:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-07, 04:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Well, I once again proved I have no drive. Instead of finishing the story I started, I wrote a (very brief) oneshot. I think this one will be more fun (read: emotionally scarring) if you go in not knowing the pairing. As per usual, comments/criticisms are more than welcome.
Spoiler
The Dark One would do anything to gain knowledge of The Snarl. It wasn’t exactly a secret. All of the other gods knew it, but what they didn’t know was how far he would go to gain that knowledge, and what he would do with it once he had it.
Redcloak was about to find out the answer in the worst way possible.
----
It hadn’t been an easy few weeks for Redcloak. He’d been having the strangest dreams about groups of strangers with nothing better to do than torture him for their amusement. So he was surprised when, for the first time in a long time, he drifted into sleep, and was spared from bizarrely erotic dreams. Instead, he dreamed of his God.
“How much would you be willing to sacrifice for your people?” Asked the Dark One.
Redcloak didn’t remember his words, but had a feeling they involved falling over himself to say he would give up anything he had, anything in the whole world if it pleased the Dark One, who just smiled, and said, “That’s what I wanted to hear. Terribly sorry, but I just couldn’t wait to ask your permission. I was just confirming that you’d be okay with what’s happening to your body right now.”
That was when Redcloak realised that he lacked a physical body, and that if he directed his attention downwards, he could see what was happening to his body. If he’d had a stomach, he’d have thrown up.
“Way to take one for the team!” Grinned the Dark One. “I’ll return your soul to your body when the Snarl’s done with it. Think about how much we’re learning as we speak!”
Redcloak didn’t agree or disagree, he just watched numbly as the cosmic abomination finished doing whatever it was doing with his body, and spat it back out on the hard floor of his study.
----
He jerked awake, naked, cold, hurting in places he didn’t know had nerve endings, and filled with the terrible knowledge of what had happened to him the previous night. Of course, he was filled with more terrible knowledge a few weeks later when the urine sample came back positive: He was pregnant.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-11-07, 05:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Okay! I'm back from the dentist! The good news is that my Cavity Count is still at 0!
The bad news that that I have crowns on my molars (The enamel came in way, WAY too thin; had them since 3rd grade) and well, one of them cracked. So I have to go back on Wednesday to get them fixed.
In any case, the roller rolled up Vaarsuvius/IFCC. Which is probably gonna end up canon anyway, but I decided to have some fun with it. (And frankly I kinda see Rich doing something like this as well.)
Spoiler
Vaarsuvius woke up in the Abyss. Or rather, the elf's soul woke up in the Abyss.
"I guess I died in that explosion...And the demons have come to collect their debt. I will be able to endure this for the half-hour or so that I am indebted to them. And I am sure Sir Greenhilt has purchased other diamonds as well."
The IFCC appeared in front of Vaarsuvius.
"You've got it?"
"Right here. Play it." The third took out some sort of machine and pressed a button on it. Vaarsuvius closed hir eyes, expecting the worst pain imaginable and then some.
Instead...
Please allow us to introduce ourselves
We are men of wealth and taste
We've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
And we were 'round when Lord Shojo
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Miyazaki
Drew her sword and sealed his fate
"You what?!"
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess our names
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game
"Well, yes, it is quite a conundrum, but--"
We stuck around Azure City
When we saw it was a time for a change
Killed Shojo and the noblemen
Prince Hinjo screamed in vain
"But you just said that--"
We rode a dragon
in the general's rank
When the battle raged
And the bodies stank
Vaarsuvius clutched hir head in pain from the memories. "You--"
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess our names, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game, oh yeah
"I believe I already stated that--"
We watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten centuries
For the gods they made
We shouted out,
"Who killed the Black Dragons?"
When after all
It was you and us
"Please do not remind me of--
Let us please introduce ourselves
We are men of wealth and taste
And we laid traps for hobgoblins
Who get killed before they reach old age
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game, oh yeah, get down, baby
"I refuse to--Wuh! Unhand me, you infernal--"
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of our game
"Must you constantly repeat that?!"
Just as every paladin is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call us Lucifer
'Cause we're in need of some restraint
So if you meet us
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, have some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or we'll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah
"..."
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed our names, mmm yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game, mmm mean it, get down
Tell us baby, what's our names
Tell us honey, can ya guess our names
Tell us baby, what's our names
We tell you one time, you're to blame
".............."
===
"Resurrection!"
Vaarsuvius awoke in hir proper body this time, surrounded by the rest of the order. The elf coughed a couple of times then drew hir legs around hir knees in a fetal position.
"Vaarsuvius! Are you okay?"
"...I do not wish to talk about it."
So what do you guys think?Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-08 at 01:35 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-07, 06:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Gender
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2009-11-07, 06:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-07, 06:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
And now I find myself wondering what the child of such a union would look like. I have a feeling someone should come take away my colored pencils.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-11-07, 07:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-07, 07:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-07, 08:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-08, 03:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- One Step Beyond
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This thread is HUGE! That means it has HUGE SQUICK! READ AND SQUIRM, READ AND SQUIRM!
Yet more precious study time lost, I hope you guys are happy. :PLast edited by Rettu Skcollob; 2009-11-08 at 03:56 AM.
Feel free to catch me on MSN if you ever feel like a chat! You can find me under "ChocolateHeathen (At) Hotmail (Dot) com", most days.
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2009-11-08, 07:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-08, 07:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- U.K
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Hey, I'm just happy someone else is wasting all their study time too!
Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
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2009-11-08, 07:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-08, 07:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Are you kidding me? This literary improv stuff is great! It's amazing for brushing up on my creative writing skills; my English teacher thinks that I'm freaking fantastic (It also helps that I completely blew him away with the first essay test of the year.)
(Uhm, what did you guys think of the last crack fic-let I just did? The V/IFCC with Sympathy For The Devil one?)Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-08 at 07:49 AM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-08, 07:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's a pity I didn't take English this year, but there's just not enough storywriting compared to squeezing sense out of literature.
(Uhm, what did you guys think of the last crack fic-let I just did? The V/IFCC with Sympathy For The Devil one?)This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-08, 08:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Lurkers Anonymous
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I drew V and RC's child. It's not pretty. Should I post it?
P.S.:
SpoilerOther than the top of the head and that line thing near the sleeve, I almost kinda like it.Last edited by Saeyan; 2009-11-08 at 08:06 AM.
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2009-11-08, 08:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-08 at 08:34 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-08, 08:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-11-08, 09:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Lurkers Anonymous
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I figured someone has to give poor V a time-out for a baby bonding session. Wait, actually...
Too serene... she's planning something... *insert non-existent paranoia smiley*
This picture is based on the assumption that she lives to grow up. It's based on CheeseMuncher's picture from a lot of pages back. Except my version doesn't have colors, so she just looks like an elf with tiny fang...tusk things.
Spoiler
Only after I took the photo did I realize that her head was freaking huge. So I attempted to shrink it, but I think I might have overdone it? I can't decide whether I did or not.
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2009-11-08, 09:15 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-11-08, 09:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
She's cute. :D
I wonder if she'll be as genocidal as her parents.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-08, 09:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Awesome pic!
...One would hope not...My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2009-11-08, 09:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
-
2009-11-08, 09:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-11-08, 10:06 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
God: Water-Smurf. Domains: Crack and Squick.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-08, 10:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Ooh! Ooh! Can I be a cleric?
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2009-11-08, 10:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-08 at 10:11 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt