D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

[BerzerkerUnit]

Spoiler: The Qualitherate Wizard

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I really like the flavour of this but I think the later abilities move further from the flavour. It goes from the Arrival-esque idea of 'languages can shape perception' to "You speak Mind Flayer so youre more abberant."
What if for the 10th level, they get to keep one spell slot they can cast open, and spontaneously cast something during the day, because when they will have prepared their spells tomorrow, they knew what they needed today? Just to stay on-brand. And having the highest level ability of a language based class remove the need to actually...speak seems off too. Maybe just the Telekinesis Somatic thing.

[

Thanks so much for your feedback!

While “The Arrival” is a favorite and partial inspiration for this subclass, I was actually looking at the films “Altered States” and “Life Force” as well. The concept of learning something you aren’t supposed to having a metamorphic effect goes back a long way, but you should also see all those abilities as an outgrowth of burgeoning psionic ability which culminates in the capstone.

The Thoughtcasting ability is counterintuitive if you aren’t nerdishly familiar with the default lore for Illithids. In short, there is no spoken version of Qualith so eliminating the need to speak is a satisfactory outgrowth. Also, their psionics require no components, so modeling that (at a significant cost) seemed a fair way to bring the ability up to par.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Spoiler: The Qualitherate Wizard

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Special Spellbook - One possible issue here. A Wizard can scribe a prepared spell into their spellbook. So, the ability to prepare a spell that isn't in the spellbook then let's you scribe it into the spellbook. You may want to remove that as an option.

"Mind over body: you become immune to poison and disease. When you are hit with a critical attack you can use your reaction to turn a critical hit into a normal one." Immune to poison, disease, and removing criticals seems like to much. Pick one or the other please :)


Other than a few small issues here this seems like a cool class. I like it :)

[

Thanks so much for the feedback!

Can I get a page reference on Wizard’s scribing prepared spells into their spell book? I read the spell preparation description in the PHB, maybe my eyes are just skipping it. How does a Wizard prepare a spell that isn’t already in their spell book? It seems like the kind of niche thing that wouldn’t be covered, but I’ve been wrong before.

Mind Overbody might seem great, and it is, about 1/3 adventuring days, and only if poison and disease are a hazard. If you invested this many levels in Wizard you’re probably not in melee most of the time and negating crits is great, but at the cost of possible counterspells or absorbing elements or shield? Maybe not that great. Basically all these little niche immunities are wonderful, but might be useless and are never guaranteed bc you roll for them. I’ll give it another look though.

Thanks again!

[Phhase]

New review

Spoiler: Warlock: The Forbidden Ones

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Pact Spells:
I'm not sure I like Hunter's Mark in here. It may be on for theme, but why in the world would a Warlock use Hunter's Mark (requiring a weapon attack) over Hex. This is just a personal opinion, but I feel like it's wasted.

The keen mind feat is fitting, but makes a dip interesting. It would certainly be new for a PC to be able to get +1 intelligence for dipping a single level into Warlock.

Thank you for removing spell book copying for Amanuensis, that was an immediate thought on that spell. The duration is odd though "Duration: 10 minutes/level." Is that supposed to mean that the spell last longer depending on the level tier of the PC (40 minutes max)?

I see that later you allow that though.

Beyond Ken - All creatures that can hear you. You can hear yourself, does it self-inflict?



There is a lot going on here and a lot I like. I'm trying to process it all and find ways to break things. So far I haven't found anything that looks broken, just a subclass that would create a Warlock the is frightening as hell.

Please, by all means, find ways to break it, that's what it's here for! No, it doesn't self-inflict. You've already suffered the secret, you're just sharing. "Can hear you" is to exempt creatures that cannot hear you/are deaf. The duration is a thing because you can copy 250 words per minute. I should probably make in Concentration too, and require it to remain in range during copying.

Note that no matter how many spells you copy from scrolls and books and the like, you only have 1 flex slot per long rest, and only up to 5th level. Arcanum grenades don't count as slots in that respect. I wanted to capture the knowledge-sponge feel, but not step on Lore Bard too badly, so this is what I went with. There's arguably more value in bartering the spell to others for money, since you can reproduce them easily. Speaking of, should I add an ink component for Amanuensis?

I added Hunter's Mark because I thought it appropriate for the Warlock to have a tool to track down creatures that try to escape - nothing's gonna get out from under your gaze until you've gotten your answers. It's less for combat in that sense.

As for the dip, I think it's acceptable. Keen Mind is widely regarded as the worst feat ever (I'm pretty sure), and +1 Int is a relatively small boon compared to what other Warlock dips offer (*cough* Hexblade *cough*). If you're dipping Forbidden Ones, that's an implicit opt-out of dipping Hexblade, which, while kind of a bad way of judging balance, is nonetheless true.

Hey about Beyond Ken.

Niche case, but can I say it out loud AND use telepathy simultaneously?

Hmm. If you can say it telepathically, I don't know why you would also say it out loud. Anything without a mind you can speak to isn't going to be affected anyway. If you mean are creatures affected twice, then no. I guess I'll allow it.

[Lvl45DM!]

Hmm. If you can say it telepathically, I don't know why you would also say it out loud. Anything without a mind you can speak to isn't going to be affected anyway. If you mean are creatures affected twice, then no. I guess I'll allow it.

1 deaf enemy. Enemies in silence. Getting the man behind the curtain. I dunno. Just had the idle thought.
Definitely not doubling the effect. Hearing it twice at once is just...the same as hearing it. Cos its knowledge, not thunder damage.

[Phhase]

1 deaf enemy. Enemies in silence. Getting the man behind the curtain. I dunno. Just had the idle thought.
Definitely not doubling the effect. Hearing it twice at once is just...the same as hearing it. Cos its knowledge, not thunder damage.

Yeah, I getcha, I'll allow it.

Edit: Forgot to port over part of the Frenzy feature. Frenzy is now both more and less dangerous to caster and enemy alike. There is also a provisio for long-term madness when Frenzy is maxed, so that adding more levels of Frenzy is less of an option if you want to heal it.

[nickl_2000]

Thanks so much for the feedback!

Can I get a page reference on Wizard’s scribing prepared spells into their spell book? I read the spell preparation description in the PHB, maybe my eyes are just skipping it. How does a Wizard prepare a spell that isn’t already in their spell book? It seems like the kind of niche thing that wouldn’t be covered, but I’ve been wrong before.

Mind Overbody might seem great, and it is, about 1/3 adventuring days, and only if poison and disease are a hazard. If you invested this many levels in Wizard you’re probably not in melee most of the time and negating crits is great, but at the cost of possible counterspells or absorbing elements or shield? Maybe not that great. Basically all these little niche immunities are wonderful, but might be useless and are never guaranteed bc you roll for them. I’ll give it another look though.

Thanks again!

It's under the "Your Spellbook" sidebar on page 114, second paragraph under replacing your book.

"If you lose your spellbook, you can use the same procedure to transcribe the spells that you have prepared into a new spellbook. Filling out the remainder of your spellbook requires you to find new spells to do so, as normal. For this reason, many wizards keep backup spellbooks in a safe place."


The intent of it is that you prepare spells every day from your book. If your book is destroyed and you have to start fresh, you don't lose everything since you can transcribe those spells you prepared the last time. Your case is super niche, and it's a bit of a deep dive into the rules, but it's there and likely un-intended. It's easily solved with a "you cannot scribe a spell prepared this way into your spellbook or create scrolls with it."

[sengmeng]

College of Arts (and Crafts) withdrawn, taken out back, shot, resurrected, renamed, and resubmitted.

College of Law is up!

[Segev]

College of Arts (and Crafts) withdrawn, taken out back, shot, resurrected, renamed, and resubmitted.

College of Law is up!

Aw, too bad. I understand the desire to be more in line with the theme (and will give the college of law a look later), but I did think it was a neat idea. I hope you keep it for a later contest, or just as a thing to refine on your own. The concept was cool.

[nickl_2000]

College of Arts (and Crafts) withdrawn, taken out back, shot, resurrected, renamed, and resubmitted.

College of Law is up!

Aw, too bad. I understand the desire to be more in line with the theme (and will give the college of law a look later), but I did think it was a neat idea. I hope you keep it for a later contest, or just as a thing to refine on your own. The concept was cool.

Agreed, I really loved the concept

[sengmeng]

Aw, too bad. I understand the desire to be more in line with the theme (and will give the college of law a look later), but I did think it was a neat idea. I hope you keep it for a later contest, or just as a thing to refine on your own. The concept was cool.

Agreed, I really loved the concept

Wow thanks! I do want to find a balance point and appropriate place for it someday, but it didn't seem smart to keep going for now on something that needed a lot of work to still not fit the theme.

[nickl_2000]

Wow thanks! I do want to find a balance point and appropriate place for it someday, but it didn't seem smart to keep going for now on something that needed a lot of work to still not fit the theme.

I totally get that. I'm have 3 or 4 different fey related subclasses that I have started and just can't work out or get comfortable with.

[Phhase]

All cylinders: fire. Feedback is go.

Spoiler: Fighter: The Calligrapher

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Alternate name: Fighter: Monk. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though.

平衡: Wouldn't it be easier to say "You become proficient in Athletics and Acrobatics, or gain Expertise if you are already proficient." ? "When making a contested check" seems like an odd limiter.

韻律: Clarify wording. By "if unsuccessful" you mean "If they fail the save", right? Also clarify what counts an an attack for the purposes of this effect. Do spells count? Spells that don't do damage? Also, when you say "prevent them from gaining their relevant ability modifier to damage", do you mean ANY modifier to ANY damage (such as a Cleric's Wis mod to a cantrip) or just physical attacks? And for purposes of the Armor Class version, does this completely disable Unarmored Defense, or does it only remove one skill's bonus to AC? Don't misunderstand, I really do like this feature. I think it captures the "Disrupted Rhythm" thing quite well, and originally so, to boot. I just think it has a few rough edges.

知識: How long does it take to attune to a weapon, and does it consume an attunement slot? If you use this feature on a magical weapon, does this mean you have two attunement slots occupied, or just one? Clarify your use of the word "attunement" here, since that's an actual game mechanic. Also, at your discretion, add a provisio that you can only ignore a type of damage resistance that corresponds to one to the types the weapon would normally deal. It's a stupid edge case that doesn't really matter, but my knee-jerk inner idiot is trying to attune to create a +1 mace that ignore slashing resistance, so help me. Also, can you attune to a natural weapon? What about fists? What if you have Monk levels, would that make a difference?

Tl;dr: Second verse, same as the first. I like it, but phrasing.

崢: Add some more flavor! Do you write the character on your face? Armor? Weapon? Paper? Is it a training form you practice?
風: I really like this. The only question I have: Does this movement provoke attacks of opportunity? It would be better if it didn't.
火: Another attack, or attack action? Also, are there limits on how the attack is made? Could you use a different weapon? That could be interesting. I do think that it's a good thing that it doesn't consume your reaction, though. I like the idea of raining down deathblows on weak enemies. Especially if there's some kind of AOE collateral involved.
土: (Grammar Nazi warning) Add a comma after "bonus action". I like this, however, consider additionally giving the player some kind of resistance to being moved, stunned, or knocked prone. As it is, it feels like it's missing something.
劍: Consider calling this "Metal", just to help complete the "Eastern Elements" vibe. Other that that, my only question, is if immunity becomes resistance, does that mean that since the weapon already ignores resistance, that it effectively ignores immunity too? Or does its effect only apply once?

Also, in the vein of oriental elements (I think), consider adding:

木 (Mù) - Wood: You learn to bend and sway with the flow of battle, as the tree bends with the wind, always snapping back with twice the energy. When an enemy makes an attack roll or contested check against you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on that enemy's attacks or checks against you until the beginning of your next turn (Including the triggering attack). On your next turn, you have advantage on a number of attacks or checks against it equal to the number that your enemy failed. If your enemy critically fails an attack or check, you gain a critical success instead. This ability can be used once per short rest.

Of course, that's just my interpretation. Use your own judgment.

All in all, I think you've done a good job making something interesting out of a fairly (imo) played-out theme, which is a mark of excellence.

Spoiler: Runebound Thane

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Nemesis of the Clan -A free Legend Lore with every Rage? Iiiiinteresting. Would this work out of explicit combat situations? Against allies? And if you're targeting someone or something that isn't what it seems to be? Do you htink this ability ought to reveal the creature type as well? It might be interesting if you were fighting a human and got instead a strong Fiend
reading...also, can you burn another use of your rage to switch which creature is your Nemesis? What if the Nemesis dies before combat ends?

Lorekeeper -How do you see this entering into play? I get it's for flavor, and that totally fine, but still. Mayhaps throw in proficiency with tattooist's tools? Or maybe with an instrument, or even the Performance skill? It's not just Bards that know how to tell stories and sing, after all. After all, you're not gonna just make your allies read the tattoos right off of your body, right? Right...? Well. Maybe if you also have a level of "Bard"....eheh.

Descendant of Champions -Works for me. Just remember to add the level you gain this feature at.

Tales of Comradeship - "Each as"? Second verse, same as the first. Works for me, just remember to stipulate level.

Master of the Records - Looks good. If you kill an enemy with this feature, does a tattoo of your deed automatically appear on your body?

Spoiler: Volumancer

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Ah yes, a complicated Artificer interpretation (This is a compliment - in case Machinist didn't tip you off, I love that stuff . Also, I'm highly caffeinated.). Frankly, this contest theme wouldn't be complete without a scroll-based subclass.

Master Scribe - So, you can you use your infusions to create scrolls. Exactly how does that work? Does this mean:
a) You can create spell scrolls using the method below, and each one occupies an infusion slot while it exists.
b) You can designate one of your infusions as one specific spell, spell level, or scroll type that can then be inscribed, once, or more than once.
Basically, I'm wondering what kinds of limits the infusion slot aspect introduces alongside the listed ones.

Are there limits on the types of spells you can add to the Master Scroll? Could you copy a divine spell from a scroll, onto your Master Scroll?

Rotullus Arcanum -I'm getting some Ryze from League of Legends vibes here, which is cool. Otherwise, it just seems like a Heward's Handy Haversack, but only for scrolls.

Lexicanum Universalis -Wow, this is actually really strong. It lets you offload Concentration onto, for example, the Fighter, who's probably not gonna lose it, nor will he likely need to Concentrate on anything else. I like it. One thing only, does the caster use your spellpower, or their (hypotheical) own? Oh, and can the caster apply their own spellcasting features like Metamagic onto it?

Geminae Occulatum - I'll have to meditate on the power this offers. It seems quite interesting. What order do the spell take effect in? Or are they simultaneous?

Arcane Stylus - aka. Silent-Spell-in-a-can. Could you make more than one? Seems quite powerful. Since you're using your hand to write the verbal component, does that mean the somatic component is also implicitly replaced? I swear, there's a Death Note joke in here somewhere.

Spoiler: College of Arts and - never mind. College of Law

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Aww, I kinda liked Arts and Crafts. It was like the Illusion Wizard capstone and the Forge Cleric Channel Divinity as a subclass. Anyway, let's have a look.

Contract - "...You treat this creature as your - PFFFFFFFFFFFT" Off to a good start. That's hilarious. Does "Under mind control" count as "Willing"? I imagine not, but just checking. There are some interesting things here...what if you have Pact of the Chain? Does the other creature gain maximized healing From Gift of the Ever-Living Ones? Can you cast spells from it, or see through its eyes? Possibilities...

Legalese -Simple, yet elegant.

Restraining Order -This is quite interesting. One thing: is either party aware of the approximate location to the other to facilitate proper distancing in the case that line of sight is broken after the effect activates? Also, is the effect permanent until dispelled? That's quite something if so.

Injunction -Missed opportunity to call this "Objection". Though I admit it's low-hanging fruit. Otherwise, I like it. Is the spell slot they were casting with expended?

All in all, good flavor and good use of Inspiration dice. A worthy successor to Arts and Kraftwerk. Also, it's funny to imagine Phoenix Wright as a Bard. In a strange way, it quite fits.

Spoiler: Qualitherate Wizard

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Oooh, I like this. Good to see someone else going for the "Eldritch Knowledge" flavor.

Escherian Spellbook - It's beans in the grand scheme of things, but I'd add clause about the Spellbook's durability, storage methods, and replacement conditions. Otherwise, I like it. In fact, those effects see very powerful. I know it's mostly for flavor, but in a strange way, would future-casting a spell lock you into learning that spell in the future at some point? Food for thought.

Mindspeech - Telepathy is always useful.

Altered State - I like the ideas of these effects, but I'm slightly confused about the circumstances of their invocation. Does this mean that every morning, you roll the dice once for every spell you prepare? Do the effects stack? Do you choose one to keep? And how long do they last?

Thoughtcasting - (Grammar Nazi warning) Incorrect use of "effects", use "affects". Now this. This I like. The Telekinesis thing seems straightforward: if you're concentrating on Telekinesis, you effectively have the Still Spell feature. The only thing: Can you use Telekinesis to create Somatic components for a Concentration spell, allowing of course, for the fact that your Concentration on Telekinesis ends once the casting is complete?

However, I just have a few nits to pick about Mindspeech verbal components. When you use Mindspeech to use verbal components, does that mean that only you hear the incantation in your head, or does everyone in range of Mindspeech hear you casting - but only in their heads? And how does this interact with spells that require targets to hear the caster? Does the caster also to speak these components out loud, or can telepathy be used?

All in all, quite intriguing.

Spoiler: Way of the Shrine Guardian

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You know, I thought I'd have more to say about this, but here we are. Once I understand it, it's fairly straightforward (To me, anyway). It's similar to Way of the Four Elements in some respects, but less disappointing.

Just to be clear: The text of Empowered Omamori does NOT mean that while the charm itself lasts, it is Concentration on the spell for you, right? And Omamori Master DOES let you Concentrate on 2 things at once, right? Additionally, if you are using one active effect of a charm, can you use the other?

Personally, I'd have the Level 11 ability of Void be something like Invisibility or Greater Invisibility, but that's just me.

Also, use this link for the statblock instead. Not everyone uses DND Beyond.

Otherwise solid.

Spoiler: Path of the Bureaucrat

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" N O "

Heh, sorry, that's just the first thing I thought of. Those are the Censors from the game Psychonauts. Interesting choice to make this a Barbarian subclass.

Skill: Bureaucracy - Honestly, should be a thing.

Formulated Rage -Wow that's pretty powerful. I assume your allies are free to whale on them while they desperately try to finish their taxes, yeah?

Contracts are Universal -Does a creature targeted by your Formulated Rage need to be able to understand a language you speak/read? That would make having Tongues more important.

Form an Orderly Queue, aka the Best Lightning Bolt Setup in the Game - Step right up. Get your ass 'whoopins here.

Rejected - Seems good, but it could stand to be a little more flavorful. To be clear, they take extra damage from every weapon attack from any source, right?

This cycle is complete. I await the next with energized adjectives.

[sengmeng]

Aww, I kinda liked Arts and Crafts. It was like the Illusion Wizard capstone and the Forge Cleric Channel Divinity as a subclass. Anyway, let's have a look.

Contract - "...You treat this creature as your - PFFFFFFFFFFFT" Off to a good start. That's hilarious. Does "Under mind control" count as "Willing"? I imagine not, but just checking. There are some interesting things here...what if you have Pact of the Chain? Does the other creature gain maximized healing From Gift of the Ever-Living Ones? Can you cast spells from it, or see through its eyes? Possibilities... I hadn't considered mind control; I think few DMs would allow that, but I leave it up to them if someone does want to use this subclass. You do have the normal benefits of being bonded to a familiar, including having your contracted creature deliver touch spells, sharing their senses, and even dismissing and summoning them, but I worded it that they are not actually your familiar, so invocations that interact with a familiar should not apply.

Legalese -Simple, yet elegant.

Restraining Order -This is quite interesting. One thing: is either party aware of the approximate location to the other to facilitate proper distancing in the case that line of sight is broken after the effect activates? Also, is the effect permanent until dispelled? That's quite something if so. I was envisioning it as permanent until dispelled, yes. I will add wording that they know when they are about to cross that threshold.

Injunction -Missed opportunity to call this "Objection". Though I admit it's low-hanging fruit. Otherwise, I like it. Is the spell slot they were casting with expended? Yes they do lose the spell slot; will clarify. And haha, yes, I was writing it under the name objection until I remembered that injunction was basically a document doing the same thing, and I thought I'd keep on the paperwork theme.

All in all, good flavor and good use of Inspiration dice. A worthy successor to Arts and Kraftwerk. Also, it's funny to imagine Phoenix Wright as a Bard. In a strange way, it quite fits. Phoenix Wright was definitely on my mind as I wrote it :)

Must add ten characters outside of the quote

[Damon_Tor]

Master Scribe - So, you can you use your infusions to create scrolls. Exactly how does that work? Does this mean:
a) You can create spell scrolls using the method below, and each one occupies an infusion slot while it exists.
b) You can designate one of your infusions as one specific spell, spell level, or scroll type that can then be inscribed, once, or more than once.
Basically, I'm wondering what kinds of limits the infusion slot aspect introduces alongside the listed ones.

An infused scroll functions like any infused item: at the start of your day you decide how to craft your infusions for that day, and in this case the volumancer might decide he wants a scroll of haste, a scroll of fireball, a scroll of invisibility and a scroll of shadow blade. He then has those specific scrolls for his adventuring day. Like any other scroll, he can use one of these infused scrolls once and it destroys itself. Of course at the start of the next day he can recreate those scrolls.

The major limitation here is that it locks in what spell you'll be using the scroll for when you start your adventuring day. So it would behoove you to pick something you're always likely to use

Also relevant: needing the scroll in hand limits the value of spells that need to be cast as a reaction. You can use a scroll of counterspell if you happen to already be holding one, or if you have some other ability that lets you quickdraw things.

Are there limits on the types of spells you can add to the Master Scroll? Could you copy a divine spell from a scroll, onto your Master Scroll?

Yes, you can.

Rotullus Arcanum -I'm getting some Ryze from League of Legends vibes here, which is cool. Otherwise, it just seems like a Heward's Handy Haversack, but only for scrolls.

It has the added benefit of being extremely durable, and its contents remaining safe if it does manage to get destroyed. And while it's primary purpose is to protect your scrolls and make them more accessable, you can also use it to secret away an unlimited quantity of paper of any form. Found an ancient library deep in an ancient stronghold and no way to carry out all the books you want? Tear out the pages and put them in your rotullum, sort them out later.

The power advancement here is the ability to cast spell scrolls using a bonus action. This is the same level other artificers either get extra attack, int mod to damage on certain spells, or 1d8 damage to certain spells. Here, the volumancer gains the ability to cast a leveled spell and a cantrip on the same turn. That seems like it's more powerful than the alchemist or artillarist abilities on its face, but keep in mind that the volumancer is limited to using this with his scrolls, and he only had 2-6 of those per day.

Lexicanum Universalis -Wow, this is actually really strong. It lets you offload Concentration onto, for example, the Fighter, who's probably not gonna lose it, nor will he likely need to Concentrate on anything else. I like it. One thing only, does the caster use your spellpower, or their (hypotheical) own? Oh, and can the caster apply their own spellcasting features like Metamagic onto it?

It's just like using a regular spell scroll, so yes, metamagic is valid. It is a strong ability, and not only for the reasons you mention: it lets you pass off "self" spells to other PCs. So that fighter can cast Tenser's Transformation on himself.

The baseline Artificer can do this already of course, to a more limited degree, via Spell Storing Item, the volumancer just takes that ability and dials it all the way up. And it may or may not be worth noting the new Chronurgy wizard can also hand off concentration, so the precedent is there.

In general, I tend to give abilities which are "selfless" much more leeway for balance. This ability is only notable from a teamwork perspective, so from my perspective it's alright if it bends the power curve a tad.

Also relevant: any scroll you hand off to someone else is a scroll you don't get to use as a bonus action via your Rotullum.

Geminae Occulatum - I'll have to meditate on the power this offers. It seems quite interesting. What order do the spell take effect in? Or are they simultaneous?

If relevant I expect the player would decide which order they resolve in. I could add a note to that effect to make it explicit. EDIT: I added that text.

The most obvious use is in blasting: you've got a turn where you cast two cantrips and a big leveled spell, that's a pretty nice nova. Other times you might want to mix a concentration spell with blade ward so you (or whoever is using the scroll) have a better shot at maintaining concentration via reducing incoming damage. There are other combos possible: a spell that can light things on fire combined with control flames for example. Or dig a pit with move earth then use a forced movement spell to shove someone into it (as a bonus action due to Rotullum) then use move earth again to push the dirt back on top of them.

Arcane Stylus - aka. Silent-Spell-in-a-can. Could you make more than one? Seems quite powerful. Since you're using your hand to write the verbal component, does that mean the somatic component is also implicitly replaced? I swear, there's a Death Note joke in here somewhere.

Silent, but not subtle: you're writing in glowing letters in the air, few people would be fooled into thinking nothing magical was happening. And of course it would take up one of your infusions for the day, which for a volumancer means not preparing one of your scrolls. That's quite an opportunity cost.

There's a bit of debate over whether you can use the same infusion twice in one day, but personally I think it's pretty clear you can't, so no.

As to replacing the somatic component, I'm not sure why it would matter. As your spell focus you would be using the pen to perform the somatic components regardless (remember that all Artificer spellcasting has a defacto material component due to the quirks of their spellcasting requiring either a tool or an infused item).

[Phhase]

An infused scroll functions like any infused item: at the start of your day you decide how to craft your infusions for that day, and in this case the volumancer might decide he wants a scroll of haste, a scroll of fireball, a scroll of invisibility and a scroll of shadow blade. He then has those specific scrolls for his adventuring day. Like any other scroll, he can use one of these infused scrolls once and it destroys itself. Of course at the start of the next day he can recreate those scrolls.

The major limitation here is that it locks in what spell you'll be using the scroll for when you start your adventuring day. So it would behoove you to pick something you're always likely to use

Also relevant: needing the scroll in hand limits the value of spells that need to be cast as a reaction. You can use a scroll of counterspell if you happen to already be holding one, or if you have some other ability that lets you quickdraw things.

Ok, good, so this only interacts with # of infused items, NOT number of infusions learned. Good. New questions, though: if you have features like Metamagic, can you write those into a spell scroll?

The power advancement here is the ability to cast spell scrolls using a bonus action. This is the same level other artificers either get extra attack, int mod to damage on certain spells, or 1d8 damage to certain spells. Here, the volumancer gains the ability to cast a leveled spell and a cantrip on the same turn. That seems like it's more powerful than the alchemist or artillarist abilities on its face, but keep in mind that the volumancer is limited to using this with his scrolls, and he only had 2-6 of those per day.

Which brings to mind a further question: The Volumancer can use these feature with infused scrolls, but can he use them with "Normal" scrolls? That he potentially bought, or made himself, though the usual method? Speaking of the usual method, it might be nice if you added that ribbon where since you're the "(Insert magic item here) subclass", then you gain the ability to craft "(Insert magic item here)s" more cheaply and quickly.

It's just like using a regular spell scroll, so yes, metamagic is valid. It is a strong ability, and not only for the reasons you mention: it lets you pass off "self" spells to other PCs. So that fighter can cast Tenser's Transformation on himself.

...good point. Clever, quite clever. I'll have to ruminate further.

Also relevant: any scroll you hand off to someone else is a scroll you don't get to use as a bonus action via your Rotullum.

True. But I contest that, as long as your team is working well together, handing it off means you can cast it with no action...from a certain point of view.

If relevant I expect the player would decide which order they resolve in. I could add a note to that effect to make it explicit. EDIT: I added that text.

The first thing that occurs to me is Firebolt + Pyrotechnics. Instant Smoke/Flashbang. Which does sound cool.

Or dig a pit with move earth then use a forced movement spell to shove someone into it (as a bonus action due to Rotullum) then use move earth again to push the dirt back on top of them.

Can you do that in one turn? I recall Move Earth being a very slow spell.

Silent, but not subtle: you're writing in glowing letters in the air, few people would be fooled into thinking nothing magical was happening. And of course it would take up one of your infusions for the day, which for a volumancer means not preparing one of your scrolls. That's quite an opportunity cost.

Ah yes, but! It's much easier to conceal glowing scribbles, as opposed to arcane chants. For a verbal component, it's not kosher to just say "I whisper it as quiet as I can." That's a Metamagic thing, you can't just do that. However! Consider exhibit A, the Sneak-Caster's friend: Steel Mirror. There's a great many spells with the initial casting limitation "creature you can see". A mirror allows you to circumvent that, and with this item providing the verbal components while safely out of sight, it makes, I think, for a potent combo.

[Lvl45DM!]

All cylinders: fire. Feedback is go.

Alternate name: Fighter: Monk. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though.

NO SHAME. I like the fluff of the classic monk. Or rather, i love the representation of that character in fiction. The ascetic warrior, removing himself from the pleasures of the world to better preserve it for others. But the mysticism of the 5e monk doesn't interest me in the same way. I play 5e monk more like I would play as a Psychic Warrior. Which is fine, but it lacks that angle of pure perfection of mind and body, rather its tapping into a mystic energy source.

平衡: Wouldn't it be easier to say "You become proficient in Athletics and Acrobatics, or gain Expertise if you are already proficient." ? "When making a contested check" seems like an odd limiter.

*shrugs* You're not stronger or more athletic. You have greater focus than other beings. That helps against others, but not against rocks or trees or against gravity.

韻律: Clarify wording. By "if unsuccessful" you mean "If they fail the save", right? Also clarify what counts an an attack for the purposes of this effect. Do spells count? Spells that don't do damage? Also, when you say "prevent them from gaining their relevant ability modifier to damage", do you mean ANY modifier to ANY damage (such as a Cleric's Wis mod to a cantrip) or just physical attacks? And for purposes of the Armor Class version, does this completely disable Unarmored Defense, or does it only remove one skill's bonus to AC? Don't misunderstand, I really do like this feature. I think it captures the "Disrupted Rhythm" thing quite well, and originally so, to boot. I just think it has a few rough edges.

Ah yes. Fine points. It does seem like its a melee only effect in my head.

知識: How long does it take to attune to a weapon, and does it consume an attunement slot? If you use this feature on a magical weapon, does this mean you have two attunement slots occupied, or just one? Clarify your use of the word "attunement" here, since that's an actual game mechanic. Also, at your discretion, add a provisio that you can only ignore a type of damage resistance that corresponds to one to the types the weapon would normally deal. It's a stupid edge case that doesn't really matter, but my knee-jerk inner idiot is trying to attune to create a +1 mace that ignore slashing resistance, so help me. Also, can you attune to a natural weapon? What about fists? What if you have Monk levels, would that make a difference? Tl;dr: Second verse, same as the first. I like it, but phrasing.

You can make a mace that ignores slashing resistance. I see no reason why not. I just...dont know how that helps you. Do fists count as melee weapons? Im going to leave that vague. Personally, nah, this is a weapon-master class. But I don't want to limit it. Sometimes leaving a little ambiguity is fine, especially in 5e.

崢: Add some more flavor! Do you write the character on your face? Armor? Weapon? Paper? Is it a training form you practice?
風: I really like this. The only question I have: Does this movement provoke attacks of opportunity? It would be better if it didn't.
火: Another attack, or attack action? Also, are there limits on how the attack is made? Could you use a different weapon? That could be interesting. I do think that it's a good thing that it doesn't consume your reaction, though. I like the idea of raining down deathblows on weak enemies. Especially if there's some kind of AOE collateral involved.
土: (Grammar Nazi warning) Add a comma after "bonus action". I like this, however, consider additionally giving the player some kind of resistance to being moved, stunned, or knocked prone. As it is, it feels like it's missing something.
劍: Consider calling this "Metal", just to help complete the "Eastern Elements" vibe. Other that that, my only question, is if immunity becomes resistance, does that mean that since the weapon already ignores resistance, that it effectively ignores immunity too? Or does its effect only apply once?

Also, in the vein of oriental elements (I think), consider adding:

Flavoured to taste!
No AoOs!
Another single attack. I worry about the spiralling impact of giving a hasted 18th level dual wielding fighting another attack action cos they killed the wizards familiar, yknow? But yes in theory you can kill every creature in your reach with this ability. And if you want to fling a javelin at another opponent, go nuts. Interpreting rules creatively is a players prerogative!
I based it off the Champion ability. I made it stronger, more HP, but limited use. The tradeoff is the variety of the other characters. Hmm. Maybe ill grant a 'cant move or be moved ability" though.
Nah, its sword. Its evocative of metal, sure, but again, Im referencing Hero. And no, obviously not. Added a line to clarify

木 (Mù) - Wood: You learn to bend and sway with the flow of battle, as the tree bends with the wind, always snapping back with twice the energy. When an enemy makes an attack roll or contested check against you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on that enemy's attacks or checks against you until the beginning of your next turn (Including the triggering attack). On your next turn, you have advantage on a number of attacks or checks against it equal to the number that your enemy failed. If your enemy critically fails an attack or check, you gain a critical success instead. This ability can be used once per short rest.

Of course, that's just my interpretation. Use your own judgement.

All in all, I think you've done a good job making something interesting out of a fairly (imo) played-out theme, which is a mark of excellence.

Great idea! I really like it and kind of wish I had thought of it for water at least. I will think about it.

[BerzerkerUnit]

All

Spoiler: Qualitherate Wizard

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Oooh, I like this. Good to see someone else going for the "Eldritch Knowledge" flavor.

Escherian Spellbook - It's beans in the grand scheme of things, but I'd add clause about the Spellbook's durability, storage methods, and replacement conditions. Otherwise, I like it. In fact, those effects see very powerful. I know it's mostly for flavor, but in a strange way, would future-casting a spell lock you into learning that spell in the future at some point? Food for thought.

Mindspeech - Telepathy is always useful.

Altered State - I like the ideas of these effects, but I'm slightly confused about the circumstances of their invocation. Does this mean that every morning, you roll the dice once for every spell you prepare? Do the effects stack? Do you choose one to keep? And how long do they last?

Thoughtcasting - (Grammar Nazi warning) Incorrect use of "effects", use "affects". Now this. This I like. The Telekinesis thing seems straightforward: if you're concentrating on Telekinesis, you effectively have the Still Spell feature. The only thing: Can you use Telekinesis to create Somatic components for a Concentration spell, allowing of course, for the fact that your Concentration on Telekinesis ends once the casting is complete?

However, I just have a few nits to pick about Mindspeech verbal components. When you use Mindspeech to use verbal components, does that mean that only you hear the incantation in your head, or does everyone in range of Mindspeech hear you casting - but only in their heads? And how does this interact with spells that require targets to hear the caster? Does the caster also to speak these components out loud, or can telepathy be used?

All in all, quite intriguing.

[

Thanks so much for your feedback!

I’m working on the exact altered states mechanics I want. The idea of having your crazy 4d spellbook and a mundane one might allow you to “keep” an altered state around longer (by using the mundane one to prep spells preventing you from rolling for a new one at the cost of prepping your future spell) but it shouldn’t be more than once a day. When I can late down the word count for all that I’ll give it a rewrite.

As a former teacher, I respect an adherence to rules for grammar too! In this case “effect” is what was intended. But thanks!

[Damon_Tor]

Ok, good, so this only interacts with # of infused items, NOT number of infusions learned. Good. New questions, though: if you have features like Metamagic, can you write those into a spell scroll?

Metamagic is used when you cast a spell. Nothing about creating a scroll actually has you cast the spell to do so, the only one casting the spell is the end user.

Which brings to mind a further question: The Volumancer can use these feature with infused scrolls, but can he use them with "Normal" scrolls? That he potentially bought, or made himself, though the usual method?

Yes, most of the subclass's special features should work just fine with scrolls they craft traditionally. Scrolls you find or buy will benefit from any benefits you get for using spell scrolls, like rotullum's bonus action casting, but not effects specific to scrolls you make. So yes, in general you'll want to craft your own, the only reason to buy a scroll would be so you can copy the spell to your master scroll for later use.

Speaking of the usual method, it might be nice if you added that ribbon where since you're the "(Insert magic item here) subclass", then you gain the ability to craft "(Insert magic item here)s" more cheaply and quickly.

All artificers craft all magic items faster and cheaper, albiet at a later level than the UA version.

True. But I contest that, as long as your team is working well together, handing it off means you can cast it with no action...from a certain point of view.

Your teammate presumably has his own things he can be using his actions for. There are some great uses for handing off a scroll you made, but I don't think action economy is one of them.

Can you do that in one turn? I recall Move Earth being a very slow spell.

I meant Mold Earth, the cantrip version.

Ah yes, but! It's much easier to conceal glowing scribbles, as opposed to arcane chants. For a verbal component, it's not kosher to just say "I whisper it as quiet as I can." That's a Metamagic thing, you can't just do that. However! Consider exhibit A, the Sneak-Caster's friend: Steel Mirror. There's a great many spells with the initial casting limitation "creature you can see". A mirror allows you to circumvent that, and with this item providing the verbal components while safely out of sight, it makes, I think, for a potent combo.

I agree with most of that, though I think the glow gives the DM enough wiggle room to spot something he wants spotted. Ironically, it means that your tactics work better in broad daylight, when the glow is drowned out by the sun, than in the dark where it would stand out.

[sleepyhead]

Is making living art to far off theme?
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[Segev]

Is making living art to far off theme?
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It'll be a matter of subjective judgment, I fear. Personally, as long as it's inked, so you're putting pen to paper, it's probably "close enough," but I am not the ultimate judge (merely one person who might vote, if I actually come up with something of my own to submit).

[Phhase]

Is making living art to far off theme?
filler text filler text

If you're thinking something along the rough lines of Nolzur's Marvelous Pigments, sounds good to me.

[nickl_2000]

Is making living art to far off theme?
filler text filler text

If that is what interests you and captures you imagination for this contest, I say yes. It's closer than some of the other entries I seen in past contests.

Wow thanks! I do want to find a balance point and appropriate place for it someday, but it didn't seem smart to keep going for now on something that needed a lot of work to still not fit the theme.

College of Law review
Contract - I feel like this needs a CR restriction. As it is right now, if you could convince a dragon to be your familiar at level 1, then you have one. Sure, that is up to the DM, but I feel like it would avoid issue if you had a restriction of some sort spelled out

Legalese a legal document as a focus is pretty funny. I do have some concerns about the DC increase on a spell. What happens with a longer lasting spells with multiple saves (Tasha's). Also, does this break bounded accuracy? Dropping an upcast hold X and then adding a d10 to the DC can make it just about impossible to save against (and this is even worse if the DC remains high).

Restraining Order -A few worries here
1) The restraining order doesn't expire automatically, although this is minor
2) A lost save requires the creature to spend it's entire turn moving away from you. Considering this is based on a short rest resource at this point. That's 5 creature per short rest that can't attack you while your friends with ranged weapons pick it off from a distance. Maybe you could allow the creature to attack still and it must use it's movement to move away from you to down the power of this a little bit?

[nickl_2000]

You know, I thought I'd have more to say about this, but here we are. Once I understand it, it's fairly straightforward (To me, anyway). It's similar to Way of the Four Elements in some respects, but less disappointing.

I will take that as a compliment As the idea went through my mine, I really was working on something inspired by 4 elements with the intent that it didn't suck.

Just to be clear: The text of Empowered Omamori does NOT mean that while the charm itself lasts, it is Concentration on the spell for you, right? And Omamori Master DOES let you Concentrate on 2 things at once, right? Additionally, if you are using one active effect of a charm, can you use the other?

The intent is that the charm runs out and you lose the passive ability. However, if you are concentrating on a spell that you burned Ki to cast I didn't want you to lose this. I tried to make it more clear in the text.

"If you are concentrating on a spell when the Omamori charm burns up, the spell remains active as long as you retain concentration on it. However, the passive ability is gone and you are unable to cast new spells through it. All spells cast through this ability use wisdom as your spell casting modifier."



Tossed out the 2 charms at once to do something different. I was between two different options and it sounds like this one is more complicated than I intended.

"At level 11, when you channel your ki to activate an Omamori you can push extra power into it to make it last longer. If you spend an additional 3 ki (5 total), you may make the duration of the Omamori charm 10 minutes."

I think this provides similar power overall, but is a much less confusion ability.

Personally, I'd have the Level 11 ability of Void be something like Invisibility or Greater Invisibility, but that's just me.

Good call. Greater invisibility on a monk is terrifying, but there is a cost to it.

Also, use this link for the statblock instead. Not everyone uses DND Beyond.

Done

Otherwise solid.

Thanks for the thoughts and the review.

[RickAsWritten]

Yeah, look you do you, but if I was DMing it I for sure wouldn't let that fly.

I suppose if you can't attack the creature filling out the form that sorta solves my issue. I still worry that a DM would throw one big monster at you like an Ankheg or Remoraz, and you hold it hostage while your party chops it up. Perhaps taking damage violates the terms of the contract? Ah well.

Formulated Rage -Wow that's pretty powerful. I assume your allies are free to whale on them while they desperately try to finish their taxes, yeah?

So there seems to be some consensus that this ability is pretty strong. In light of that I modified the language requirements a bit. A creature now must be able to understand a language before it can fill out a form. This prevents the ability from working on the dumbest, languageless monsters. It also makes Tongues at 6th level more useful. Tongues is now an offensive spell that allows you to give a creature the ability to understand a language and thus you can make them fill out the form.

Thanks for the feedback and the suggestions.

Also I'm considering moving Contracts are Universal to 10th and Form an Orderly Queue to 6th. That would delay the improvement to Formulated Rage, to keep it from being over-powered. Input would be appreciated.

Barbarian: Path of the Bureaucrat

[RickAsWritten]

So there seems to be some consensus that this ability is pretty strong. In light of that I modified the language requirements a bit. A creature now must be able to understand a language before it can fill out a form. This prevents the ability from working on the dumbest, languageless monsters. It also makes Tongues at 6th level more useful. Tongues is now an offensive spell that allows you to give a creature the ability to understand a language and thus you can make them fill out the form.

Thanks for the feedback and the suggestions.

Also I'm considering moving Contracts are Universal to 10th and Form an Orderly Queue to 6th. That would delay the improvement to Formulated Rage, to keep it from being over-powered. Input would be appreciated.

Barbarian: Path of the Bureaucrat

Quoting myself here, but after I swapped the abilities and re-read through the whole subclass, I made the change. The whole thing flows and progresses much better now.

Feedback:

Spoiler: Calligrapher

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I love the flavor text, it's well written and thematic. As others have stated, you get too much at several of the levels; stuffing all of the Monk class into a Fighter-shaped subclass. What is the incentive to be unarmored? Besides for the aesthetic. All of the abilities work while armored. If I were to play this, I'd be heavy-armored-up and then would artfully cut down my foes with Wisdom. Rhythm is clunky. Knowledge is cool, but is very similar to Kensei. Overall, there is some nice stuff here, but it needs revisions.

Spoiler: Runebound Thane

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Tattoo witch was my first thought for this, so I like the direction. Nemesis of the Clan is cool, but I feel like it should be extra crits or extra damage, but not both. Same with Tales of Comradeship, temp HP or resistance, not both. Master of the Records is a cool ability, but I fail to see how the title fits with the ability. Overall, pretty good and I like the flavor.

Spoiler: Volumancer

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Good addition to the item-creation focused Artificer. Look pretty good, and you put a lot of thought/research behind the casting potential.

Spoiler: College of Law

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Hah! We've got a fellow bureaucrat. If a fellow PC signs up, can you make them disappear into a pocket dimension? Also, if a human or PC signed up do they become celestial, fey or fiend? That could have some weird impacts with a few spells and abilities. I'm not sure I understand Legalese. Restraining Order is cool, but 300ft is too far and they need to have a save before it starts. Injunction is awesome. I really like Counterspell-like abilities. Overall, it needs some clarification and tweaking, but it has a cool theme and some fun abilities.

Spoiler: Qualitherate Wizard

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Overall pretty good. Focused and interesting. The ability to prepare any spell would allow this wizard to eventually get every single wizard spell. That needs revised.

Spoiler: Way of the Shrine Guardian

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Other than having to look up what an Omamori actually is, I don't have much to add. It's really good; flavorful and interesting.

Spoiler: The Forbidden Ones

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Frenzy needs to be renamed. The effects are super cool though. I'm not crazy about giving a feat outright, even if it isn't the strongest feat. Reading further, the new cantrip makes the feat completely redundant. I'd suggest removing Keen Mind. Some trippy stuff here. All of your subclasses have super cool themes and flavor, but they always have mechanics that are so far outside-the-box that they can't even see it anymore. It's interesting. Some of the stuff borders on genius, and some of it doesn't seem like it was written for the game of D&D. Anyway, the pact boon is neat, like that memory bowl thing from Harry Potter. Need-to-Know, and Beyond Ken are good. All of the reading-triggered abilities are cool, but I feel like they are going to be pretty difficult to set up in a regular bog-standard fantasy campaign. It would have to be a very spy-heavy, social campaign to see regular use.

Spoiler: College of the Brush

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Pretty cool theme. It gives me an absurd mental image. A bard that can't draw telling his Picasso-face looking monstrosity to go punch the bad guy. It groans, painfully and with existential dread, and trods over to complete its violent work. Protection of Expression is good. My only question is whether I can have more than one Living Art at a time, and whether there is a limit to how many Artistic Details can be applied at once? Some of the wording could be cleaned up and clarified, but all in all I like it.

[nickl_2000]

Spoiler: Way of the Shrine Guardian

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Other than having to look up what an Omamori actually is, I don't have much to add. It's really good; flavorful and interesting.

Cool :)

Spoiler: College of the Brush

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Bardic College, you need to mention that for the sake of clarity.

Living Art: How does the bard command them? What do they do if there is no command? How long does it take to make them? Can you have more than one at a time?

I can't believe I am saying this, but level 3 seems weak you need more. May I suggest an extra use for bardic inspiration? That is standard for a bard from official sources.


Protection of Expression: So, it lasts half your level in rounds. And it gets HP = bard level + charisma. Does each person get that much damage reduction, or is it overall? If it's each person, then it seem cool. If it's overall it's underpowered.


Artistic Details:
Reach: Can this be applied more than once?
There is nothing to increase the to hit chance that I see. a +2 is not going to cut it for long.

[Lvl45DM!]

Quoting myself here, but after I swapped the abilities and re-read through the whole subclass, I made the change. The whole thing flows and progresses much better now.

Feedback:

Spoiler: Calligrapher

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I love the flavor text, it's well written and thematic. As others have stated, you get too much at several of the levels; stuffing all of the Monk class into a Fighter-shaped subclass. What is the incentive to be unarmored? Besides for the aesthetic. All of the abilities work while armored. If I were to play this, I'd be heavy-armored-up and then would artfully cut down my foes with Wisdom. Rhythm is clunky. Knowledge is cool, but is very similar to Kensei. Overall, there is some nice stuff here, but it needs revisions.

Ok I've added incentives to be unarmoured. The only ability that is usable unarmoured is Knowledge. That said...is the aesthetic not enough? Wouldn't you feel just...weird playing a character that's about precision of mind and body while wearing plate armour? Whatever.
I know Knowledge is similar to kensei the basic idea of this class is building a monk that doesn't rely on a mystic energy source, and referencing a Jet Li movie, which also hearkens to an old samurai superstition. But mostly the non-mystic monk. I even toyed with the idea of making the Knowledge ability not overcome resistance to non-magic weapons, but that gimps the class too much.

I've rehauled Rhythm. Again. Stupid awesome idea for an ability that is hard to get done in the rules.
Now its Ray of Enfeeblement but for any ability, but only at melee range. It also relies on you guessing the right ability. Sure 90% of the time you're right, but then one day you fight a Hexblade or another Calligrapher. I think thats fun.

Spoiler: Rhythm

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At 10th level your mastery of rhythm allows you to alter the flow of the fight. The characters must flow smoothly from brush to page. You cannot rush this process, nor can you take too long. If a creature makes an melee attack, whether armed, unarmed or spell, against you, as a reaction you may attempt to alter their rhythm. They make a Con save at 8+your Wisdom mod+your proficiency mod. If they fail the save you may choose one of their ability scores. They deal half damage with melee attacks that use that ability modifier. At the end of each of the target’s turns, it can make a another save against the effect. On a success, the effect ends. Once a creature saves against this effect, they cannot be affected by it for 24 hours. You may use this ability 1+Wis mod times per short rest. You may only use this ability while you are wearing no armour and not wielding a shield.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Spoiler: Qualitherate Wizard

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Overall pretty good. Focused and interesting. The ability to prepare any spell would allow this wizard to eventually get every single wizard spell. That needs revised.

Of course, this rule is under "replacing a lost spellbook," and not "transcribing spells."

I'll take another look at it, but could someone explain why this matters? I've played a handful of wizards, 2 into T4, 1 into T3 and some 4 or 5 trapped in T2, they always have more spells known than they need, except when they don't have enough preparation space to have all the ones they want for a given day, and there's never enough time to stop, long rest, and prep new spells. Keep in mind, RAW, changing your prepared spells is a nightmare at higher levels (1 minute per level of spell slot).

RAW, this might even eat into your workday meaning it would take 3 days for your level 7 and 8 transcriptions too.

Meh, I interested in hearing the rationale for it needing more than social contract.

[Phhase]

Frenzy needs to be renamed. The effects are super cool though.

Frenzy is a direct reference to Bloodborne, where it does pretty much does the same thing: Looking at the horror too long makes your head go boom. Glad you like it! I was a little worried about adding ANOTHER entire new game mechanic, but it fit so well I couldn't resist. If you've got a suggestion for a better name, I'll consider it though.

I'm not crazy about giving a feat outright, even if it isn't the strongest feat. Reading further, the new cantrip makes the feat completely redundant. I'd suggest removing Keen Mind.

Keen Mind is (at least, from what I've heard) regarded as the worst feat in all of 5e. All said, it is mostly in there for flavor. The INT bonus is ok in my mind (), since Warlock doesn't scale off of INT (Number of Memory Object aside), and I like having the photographic memory thing in there to really encourage the use of the pact boon. You make a salient point about Amanuensis, but I contest that you can't cast spells from a memory of a scroll, nor can you copy while viewing one. It was probably a mistake to allow Amanuensis to work from memory, I'll change that. I should probably put some kind of time or quantity limiter on the creation of Memory Objects, perhaps a 10 minute creation time instead.

Some trippy stuff here. All of your subclasses have super cool themes and flavor, but they always have mechanics that are so far outside-the-box that they can't even see it anymore. It's interesting. Some of the stuff borders on genius, and some of it doesn't seem like it was written for the game of D&D.

So what you're saying, is that I'm the Hideo Kojima of homebrew ? Jokes aside, thank you! Forget subclasses, not even a full class could capture the breadth of my appreciation . There are a couple of camps of thought around 5e's design I've seen. The first think it's an easy game for babies (gross paraphrasal for comedic effect ONLY), and prefer 3.5. The second find 5e's simplicity to be elegant, and a beacon toward which to sail future designs. Me, I like some of what we have, ad very much appreciate the approachability (I grew up reading 3.5 sourcebooks. Even though I loved it, even now I still do not understand how to play 3.5), but at once think 5e's been far too reductive in some ways. That averages out to something I like to call "Good Iron". I see 5e like a box of Tinkertoys. Tools to build something greater, and more - which means more complex at times, certainly. Most times where I'm concerned, admittedly...
Which bits are you having a hard time grasping here (Which is a little ironic considering the theming of the subclass...)?

Anyway, the pact boon is neat, like that memory bowl thing from Harry Potter. Need-to-Know, and Beyond Ken are good. All of the reading-triggered abilities are cool, but I feel like they are going to be pretty difficult to set up in a regular bog-standard fantasy campaign. It would have to be a very spy-heavy, social campaign to see regular use. [/SPOILER]

Glad you like it! I have to admit, the Pensive was not my first thought, but I do see it. Read the Invocations a bit more closely. I was actually concerned that some of them were a bit TOO good, albeit dependent on being enabled by the Frenzy Mechanic in some ways.

Let's harken back to that example I gave in the Pact of Memories section. What you're doing, in essence, is "Storing" those 2 points of Frenzy in a Memory Object. The way I'd handle it if you were to get those points cured while you still possessed the memory in your mind is that your mind has accepted that particular memory, and that it no longer troubles you. Now, let's say you turned that same memory into a dagger and stabbed someone with it. In living your memory out (Which is NOT the same as viewing it with the Pact of Memories video-play feature), they'd have to save or whatever, or risk gaining the same Frenzy you did. And if you were, for example, using Remember Me to cast and AOE spell instead, every creature would have to save...

Furthermore, consider Not Quite The Same. Not Quite the same effectively combines with Remember Me/Edge of My Sword and
the writing-based trap spells to allow you to piggyback Glyphs or other traps onto other attacks and spells. Let's say you cast Dissonant Whispers on an enemy, and use a memory with a Frenzy Value of 2, that is trapped with a Glyph of Warding that casts Mind Spike. You can optionally use Whole Truth to enhance the glyph, the object, AND the spell in the glyph with one of the three bonus effects (Albeit at a steep cost). That spell is friggen loaded. Honestly, listening to it, I probably need to tune it down.

You're certainly right it would be great in an intrigue campaign, though. And consider that this subclass is all about weaponizing the side effects of your research. What the knowledge you are seeking actually does could be something else entirely (campaign dependent of course).

[Segev]

*cough* Keen Mind is great in the right situations. I love it on an illusionist. Really, anybody with minor illusion can turn it into permanent long-term memory just by reviewing stuff they know with illusions to keep it freshly seen or heard. And that's only half the feat. Though I admit knowing the time and north is more situational.