GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

[LoyalPaladin]

A wisdom score isn;t the sum of all wisdom up o that point. You're still missing the right kind of wisdom. What if I told you by putting your life on the line you are making things worse for your side?

Of course it wouldn't be wise to jump in willy nilly. But if your death can inspire your side to victory, then I'd say that's both noble and wise.

I need to light you on fire don't I.

Save that for the fourth.

[Segev]

Different physiology, different minds, different standards. You can't measure everything by the same standard. That is the most unfair thing in the world. Having different standards for different people and things is fair. The trouble is knowing when those standards should be different and when they shouldn't.

Nope. Sorry. This is practically the definition of insanity: believing things that are contrary to the repeated evidence of your senses. Beholders do this, and act upon their incorrect beliefs. They, in fact, make extremely rational plans based on the premises of their incorrect beliefs. That their plans go entirely awry is unsurprising, since they're basing them on falsehood.

Beholders only function marginally well because they're so extremely powerful that they can force situations which feed their egos without requiring the editing of reality. As far as they're concerned on a rational-planning level, however, they should always plan for success and acting in the most straightforwardly self-gratifying fashion possible always works out, unless factors outside their control interfere. Then it's "their" fault. And of course, the Beholder now must destroy "them" to prevent "them" from thwarting the beholder again.

[Elricaltovilla]

Of course it wouldn't be wise to jump in willy nilly. But if your death can inspire your side to victory, then I'd say that's both noble and wise.

If GitP were a movie, you'd be played by Sean Bean.

If the best possible thing you can do for your side is to die, then you weren't helping them much to begin with.

[LoyalPaladin]

If GitP were a movie, you'd be played by Sean Bean.

I'd prefer to be played by Billy Connolly.

If the best possible thing you can do for your side is to die, then you weren't helping them much to begin with.

I'm not sure that is true. People who have something to fight for, fight harder than people who do not. Plus, it gives them a +2 morale bonus on attack and damage.

[atemu1234]

You know, I feel like True Neutral should be whitetext, because nobody looks at it anyway.

[LoyalPaladin]

You know, I feel like True Neutral should be whitetext, because nobody looks at it anyway.

I made that joke back when we were distributing alignments. I believe it was Jormengand to adopted it... but it's been a while.

[atemu1234]

I made that joke back when we were distributing alignments. I believe it was Jormengand to adopted it... but it's been a while.

So, how's the leader of your order been doing? The old guy who made a funny noise when I turned him into dust with arcane power.

[LoyalPaladin]

So, how's the leader of your order been doing? The old guy who made a funny noise when I turned him into dust with arcane power.

Didn't we already go over this?

Also, if you pay close attention to my signature, I am the head of my order.

[atemu1234]

Didn't we already go over this?

Also, if you pay close attention to my signature, I am the head of my order.

That would explain why he wasn't wearing a uniform...

[LoyalPaladin]

That would explain why he wasn't wearing a uniform...

You killed a random stranger, didn't you?

[Honest Tiefling]

You killed a random stranger, didn't you?

Why are you even asking this question? There's probably a body count when most people here goes to the bathroom!

And if you refer to the Jr. Tormlet thing for your order, it is a very small order.

[Elricaltovilla]

Why are you even asking this question? There's probably a body count when most people here goes to the bathroom!

And if you refer to the Jr. Tormlet thing for your order, it is a very small order.

The Jr. Tormlets are a small order because they're highly selective and only take the most talented and righteous young paladins (and aspirants). It's a very intense selection process. I should know, they contract out the combat portion to my mercenary company... actually, that might be why they're so small.

[illyahr]

What's a Jr. Tormlet again and does it need its praises sung?

[atemu1234]

You killed a random stranger, didn't you?

That depends... is the janitor random?
It's your fault for hiring an old guy who doesn't speak Common! I thought he was being flippant!

[Karl Aegis]

That depends... is the janitor random?
It's your fault for hiring an old guy who doesn't speak Common! I thought he was being flippant!

Was he in suspenders? If he was that was my janitor....

[LoyalPaladin]

And if you refer to the Jr. Tormlet thing for your order, it is a very small order.

Even if my order was just my single Tormlet, I'd still be proud of it. Respect the badge, son.

That depends... is the janitor random?
It's your fault for hiring an old guy who doesn't speak Common! I thought he was being flippant!

You killed Lug?! He was my favorite orc...

[atemu1234]

Was he in suspenders? If he was that was my janitor....

Don't be silly. I did that one on purpose. Suspenders and a belt at the same time? Please.

You killed Lug?! He was my favorite orc...

Sorry. I can get you a new one...

[Zaydos]

What's a Jr. Tormlet again and does it need its praises sung?

I think it's a Socratov. So yes.

Illyahr's Lute of Praising
Price: 15,000 GP
Body Slot: - (held)
Caster Level: 5th
Aura: Weak; DC 18 Enchantment
Weight: 1.5 lbs.
Activation: Special (see below)

This masterwork lute appears like a completely ordinary lute until used to perform bardic music. When played as part of a bardic performance this lute offers special options based upon which bardic performance is played.
Inspire Courage: You may sing a paean of praise, focusing your bardic music upon just one target other than yourself. The morale bonus granted to that creature is increased by 2, but other allies gain no benefit from your song.
Inspire Competence: The competence bonus granted to the target is increased by +2 but only so long as they are not receiving any benefits from Aid Another.
Inspire Greatness: You may focus your bardic music upon just one target. For every target beyond the first you would normally have the bonus hit dice, and competence bonuses granted increase by +1.
Inspire Heroics: You may focus your bardic music upon just one target. For every target beyond the first you would normally have the bonuses increase by +2.

Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, ability to Inspire Greatness, Perform 15 ranks, Heroism
Cost to Create: 7,500 GP and 600 XP Apparently having no frelling clue how to price something makes me True Neutral, who knew?

[IZ42]

You killed Lug?! He was my favorite orc...

Lug is dead? Atemu, you have some explaining to do. Lug was my friend!

[illyahr]

I think it's a Socratov. So yes.

What's a Socratov?

Illyahr's Lute of Praising
Price: 15,000 GP
Body Slot: - (held)
Caster Level: 5th
Aura: Weak; DC 18 Enchantment
Weight: 1.5 lbs.
Activation: Special (see below)

This masterwork lute appears like a completely ordinary lute until used to perform bardic music. When played as part of a bardic performance this lute offers special options based upon which bardic performance is played.
Inspire Courage: You may sing a paean of praise, focusing your bardic music upon just one target other than yourself. The morale bonus granted to that creature is increased by 2, but other allies gain no benefit from your song.
Inspire Competence: The competence bonus granted to the target is increased by +2 but only so long as they are not receiving any benefits from Aid Another.
Inspire Greatness: You may focus your bardic music upon just one target. For every target beyond the first you would normally have the bonus hit dice, and competence bonuses granted increase by +1.
Inspire Heroics: You may focus your bardic music upon just one target. For every target beyond the first you would normally have the bonuses increase by +2.

Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, ability to Inspire Greatness, Perform 15 ranks, Heroism
Cost to Create: 7,500 GP and 600 XP Apparently having no frelling clue how to price something makes me True Neutral, who knew?

I love it! My groups don't have much overlap in character niches so I can focus on whoever needs the boost the most!

Quick question for those who know: in 3.5 is the Practiced Spellcaster feat. It boosts your Caster Level by 4 or up to your HD, whichever is lower. If I Inspire Greatness on someone with this feat, granting temporary HD, would their Caster Level increase if their HD weren't high enough to get the full benefit?

[Honest Tiefling]

Even if my order was just my single Tormlet, I'd still be proud of it. Respect the badge, son.

You're not my REAL Dad!

[atemu1234]

Lug is dead? Atemu, you have some explaining to do. Lug was my friend!

Where did you learn to speak Orc?

[LoyalPaladin]

What's a Jr. Tormlet again and does it need its praises sung?

Jr. Tormlets are people I award badges to for their deeds in the playground. Socratov is the only recipient so far. But I've been eyeing another. Getting the badge also opens up the opportunity for you take the prestige class.

Lug is dead? Atemu, you have some explaining to do. Lug was my friend!

I know! Who does that?!

You're not my REAL Dad!

*puts on cop shades*

Where did you learn to speak Orc?

Iz's best friend in High School's mother's best friend was an orc. They were close.

[IZ42]

Where did you learn to speak Orc?

Monks do get around, you know. I was learning some techniques from the Glakh'Ogra clan and picked some up, as well as what LP said.

[Snowbluff]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to the judge!

For what? You haven't accused me of any crime!

You're not my REAL Dad!

True, but I am, and I'm taking your side on this one.

[LoyalPaladin]

For what? You haven't accused me of any crime!

I thought the general consensus was killing many unfortunate Izforts, turning paladins into vampires, and assisting Red Fel in his dastardly schemes.

True, but I am, and I'm taking your side on this one.

You better not act like this when our child is born.

[Snowbluff]

I thought the general consensus was killing many unfortunate Izforts, turning paladins into vampires, and assisting Red Fel in his dastardly schemes.

What? None of these are illegal. Heck, even the Izforts come right back, the second is a gift at worst, and Red Fel's last scheme was to put sweaters on all of the cats in Sigil.

Don't ever do that last one, by the way. I was mazed for weeks.

You better not act like this when our child is born.

Pfft, it's already out there among the stars, nomming on the vital leylines of the universe. It was a huge mistake, by the way.

[Extra Anchovies]

the second is a gift at worst

Not with that level adjustment it isn't.

[Segev]

One of my new ghouls seems to answer to "Lug." To whom should I present him for examination to see if he's yours?

[atemu1234]

I thought the general consensus was killing many unfortunate Izforts, turning paladins into vampires, and assisting Red Fel in his dastardly schemes.


You better not act like this when our child is born.

I feel like you and Snowbluff are going to particularly enjoy something I'm still cooking for the Elder Evils thread... if I ever finish it.