Results 1,411 to 1,440 of 1489
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2011-12-22, 11:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Folgers
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2072a. All farmiliars are NOT voiced by Gilbert Gottfried
\A/ Why play fair when you can "Technically" play fair. \A/
SpoilerAh say ah canno' jump, ya' jus' 'ave ta' toss meh!
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2011-12-24, 07:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2077: Cannot play "Psychotic Neutral" rogues.
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2011-12-24, 07:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke. Pale green is for snarking
Thread wins: 2
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2011-12-25, 01:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2078: Perform (Swordplay) does not add to my attack.
2078a: But it can be used for Bardic skills.Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar
Ponytar by Dirtytabs
Originally Posted by DudeWhyAreAllTheNamesTaken(Imgur)
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2011-12-25, 02:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- In your head.
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2078: using Prefom (swordplay) wont get a bonus if i have weapon focus.
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2011-12-25, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Starbase Janus
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2079: Can not cut off the head of a monster, and start showing off the head of said monster in a tavern...especially if the tavernkeep has a phobia of the monster.
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2011-12-25, 03:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2079a: Not allowed to pull a Perseus with an Umber Hulk's severed head.
Come, visit the exotic desert beauty of the City of Zangiers!
(Just be sure to bring a sharp sword and sharper wits.)
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2011-12-25, 09:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Folgers
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2080. I am not allowed to put enough ranks in Hide to castrate a dragon without it knowing, and then proceed to dazzle the commoners with "floating dragon nuts"
\A/ Why play fair when you can "Technically" play fair. \A/
SpoilerAh say ah canno' jump, ya' jus' 'ave ta' toss meh!
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2011-12-26, 11:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- 127.0.0.1
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2081: May not manipulate the various kingdoms and countries into a convoluted set of alliances that will lead to a world war if any one attacks anyone else.
2081B: May not then assassinate the archduke of one of the countries in order to spark said war.
2081C: May not lead a revolution in the largest of these kingdoms during the war, setting up a "People's Republic" with me as the head honcho.
2081D: Especially if said kingdom then drops out of the war.
2081E: ESPECIALLY is said kingdom was the first one to counterattack, causing everyone else to go to war.
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2011-12-26, 12:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Location
- Belfast, NI
- Gender
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2011-12-26, 12:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- 127.0.0.1
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
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2011-12-26, 05:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2082. No longer allowed to play a character who's entire tactical acumen is "hit it in the face".
2082a. Especially if that character can, single-handedly, defeat an encounter designed for a full party of higher level than the character currently is (by several levels).
2083. No longer allowed to play a character who can't pay attention to anything for more than ~5 seconds.
2083a. Especially if I'm going to roleplay that and tune out 90% of the DM's descriptions.
2084. No longer allowed to play a character who will destroy an entire town "because it was in my way". (to be fair, I don't remember if that was the exact motivation... it may have been "because it was there")
2085. No longer allowed to play a character who has a memory that might rival a goldfish's.
2085a. Especially if that allows the character to defeat the DM's pet NPC, who charmed the party in an attempt to punish us for destroying the town (see 2084).
2086. No longer allowed to run off in a dungeon and end up running around in circles until another party member has to trip said character to allow the dungeon crawl to continue.
2087. Not allowed to use "something inside it" as an excuse to break statues.
2087a. Especially if I don't know the context in which that phrase was used.
This was all one character, in a campaign that lasted all of ~5 sessions. Oddly enough, my character wasn't the cause of its demise... he was actually the only reason the campaign was even remotely memorable.
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2011-12-26, 07:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- USA
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
I got Munchkin for Christmas.
2088. If I am playing a thief, I may not attempt to steal anything while I am at level one.
2089. I may not play a thief.
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2011-12-28, 12:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Location
- Top of the tower
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2090: I may not make a goliath dungeoncrasher zhentarim fighter that uses spiked armor and roleplays as a luchador, screaming the names of every move he wants to do as he attacks, derailing important DM plot points, screaming "CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?!?!?!?" every time he kills someone or causes someone to cower, and one-shotting the BBEG with an psuedo-ubercharger feat chain comboed with dungeoncrashing them into the dirt.
2090a: Especially if the move screamed is Butt-Buster. That will get the DM Guide, Complete Warrior, Dungeonscape, and Races of Stone thrown at me.
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2011-12-28, 06:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- Watching the world go by
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Ah, munchin!
2091: I am not allowed to cheat to get a plutonium dragon as a pet.
2091b: Nor can I cheat so that nobody is allowed to fight monsters(I think it was a polymorph potion)
2091c: If the 3 clerics join forces to win in unison, I may not complain.
2092: The name of the game is not keeping your husband at level 1. No matter how much fun everyone has doing so.
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2011-12-31, 06:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
- Location
- The Middle of Nowhere
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2093: My plan for killing the BBEG may not begin with: "Well let me crack open my physics textbook. If I can apply an X newton force over Y meters..."
2094: If my plan requires me to ask for the impulse time of anything impacting human flesh, the answer is no.
2095: Doubly so if it means I can one shot a man five levels higher than me with a single throwing knife.
2096: Throwing knives are not bullets, and I will do well to remember this.
2097: I may not have a physics text next to me while playing.
2097b: Nor my physics notes.
2098: It is irrelevant how many newtons/pascals/joules I can subject an enemy to, they are still taking the damage that the book says they do.
2099: Screw it, this world has different physics than the real world.
2100: I may not work on the physics of my plan and then show the GM the math to prove that my plan will work. Refer to 2099 for further questions.
2101: My character may not be above average in intelligence.
I seriously have been playing with an idea like this, and I know I'd get told no if I even suggested it.Awesome avatar by Cuthalion
Spoiler: Old Avatars
By Ceika, Ceika, Linklel (Except for one that appears to be lost to time)
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2011-12-31, 09:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Gender
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2011-12-31, 02:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2102:If a plan begins with "Line up the 500 commoners" it better be part of an evil campaign and kill them, not abuse the rules to destroy a castle wall with a rock.
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2012-01-01, 03:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2103: My character's defaul respone to any situation is not sell their soul
2103b: nor is it sell the paladin's soul for him on credit
2013c: My character does not know the soul-to-worth echance rate of everyone he meets, nor is he a major player in the Immortal Soul stock market
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2012-01-02, 06:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- Below sea level
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Warlock Poetry?
Or ways to use me in game?
Better grab a drink...
Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch
First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin
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2012-01-02, 11:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Location
- Five minutes late
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2014: kill the monsters, steal the treasure, stab your buddy is not an appropriate motto for the party paladin.
My wifi is down. It should be back up by the 22nd. Sorry, snowy, morcy, drack, hat, etc.
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2012-01-02, 11:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- In your head.
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2014a: That is, unless you are playing a warhammer-style world.
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2012-01-02, 12:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- 127.0.0.1
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2105: May not invent a swiss-army polearm.
2106: May not roll up a doppelgangster.
2107: A Tequila Mockingbird is not an appropriate familiar for the wizard.
2108: May not create a Spiked Codpiece for the Paladin.
2109: The Chainsaw of Bloody Dismemberment is right out.
2110: As are Boots of Butt Kicking.
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2012-01-02, 02:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Folgers
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2111. I may not create a Rouge/Druid multiclass, name it Batman, then slaugter all of the jesters I see because they might be my "nemisis"
2111a. Nor am I allowed to slaugter Ice-Wizards, Penguin-Druids, Clay-Constructs, Half-Baked people, Scarecrows, or anyone who asks a riddle
2112. I am not allowed to take over the recently-cleared cave and rename it
2112a. Even if one of the hirelings is a butler\A/ Why play fair when you can "Technically" play fair. \A/
SpoilerAh say ah canno' jump, ya' jus' 'ave ta' toss meh!
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2012-01-02, 04:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2113 Even if he's based on Ira Hayes, my Shantor shall not be named: "Firewater Pony."
2114 Said Shantor will not have a tattoo of any kind any where. A hip flask on their butt is right out.
2115 Shantor do not come in pastel colors.
2116 The same rules apply to K'kree
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2012-01-03, 02:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Hey blackestofmages watch your numbering you screwed some people up
2117: No matter how good a debater I am out of character there is no way to logically get out of falling after your paladin kills his patron god.
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2012-01-03, 05:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- Below sea level
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Warlock Poetry?
Or ways to use me in game?
Better grab a drink...
Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch
First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin
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2012-01-03, 01:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- In your head.
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
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2012-01-03, 03:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
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2012-01-05, 05:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Dromund Kaas
- Gender