Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

[Arkhosia]

*Access to the spell kiloton does not mean I am allowed to transform the setting into medieval Fallout.

**Turning the Party Fighter into a Behemoth is a no.
***So is adopting a Australian cattle dog and naming it Dogmeat
****especially if you demand to restart the campaign if he dies.

[Manly Man]

*The psionic tattoo for the power body equilibrium is not Spider-Man's mask.
**Nor is the tattoo for entangling ectoplasm "HOW DO I SHOT WEB?"

[Emperor Tippy]

*I may not get a specialization in car-bombings.
**Even if it's my character's favored default assault strategy.
***Using car-bombs to topple buildings does not get me XP for every enemy inside them.
****I may not retrieve my mission objectives from the rubble of collapsed buildings.

You must play boring Shadowrun. :smallwink:

[DigoDragon]

No longer allowed to bring my Shadowrun books to the ICU of the local hospital.
Also not allowed to suggest using the patient's lunch as miniatures.

[Zahhak]

Christ Digo, what did you do this time?

[Wookieetank]

Christ Digo, what did you do this time?

If you somehow managed to horrify the staff of an ICU Digo, I'll be greatly impressed. Those people are rather hardcore.

[unseenmage]

* Just because my character can collapse a mountain into the bottommost reaches of the Underdark with enough time doesn't mean he should.
** The party Wizard is not allowed to specialize in giving me enough time.
*** No more Explosive Packs or spells that much with time.
**** Yes Blast Disks are banned too.

[Afool]

**** Yes Blast Disks are banned too.

***** I don't care how much dynamite you have (dear god how did you get so much :smalleek:) the damage cap still applies.

****** Dynamite is now banned.

[unseenmage]

***** I don't care how much dynamite you have (dear god how did you get so much :smalleek:) the damage cap still applies.

****** Dynamite is now banned.

IIRC in d20 Modern dynamite is cheap enough that you can make Wealth checks to "just have it handy, you brought it like a cellphone or a pocket knife just because".

We had an Albino Russian Dwarf once who used that loophole to great effect. That whole campaign played kinda like an episode of Burn Notice. With just as many Gasoline explosions for effect strangely enough.

[Slipperychicken]

You must play boring Shadowrun. :smallwink:

Pure speculation for now since we haven't gotten to the action yet.

We've thusfar played two full sessions of "watch the face-player RP with the target, occasionally taking breaks to deride the Street Sams for being 'useless'". Since the face won't be able to make it to future sessions, hopefully we can expedite the legwork process somewhat..

[Jormengand]

* I may no longer use a Conjunctive Gate to summon a Solar Angel whenever I want to do anything.

[Scow2]

* I may no longer use a Conjunctive Gate to summon a Solar Angel whenever I want to do anything.**Especially not if my companion's build is based around solving problems with cool stunts on a motorcycle

[Jormengand]

**Especially not if my companion's build is based around solving problems with cool stunts on a motorcycle

*** I may not use the Solar Angel's Miracle or Wish spells to wish for a motorcycle in D&D 3.5.

[Slipperychicken]

**Especially not if my companion's build is based around solving problems with cool stunts on a motorcycle

***Secretly using the angels to Aid Another on his stunts is right out.

****The Physad's roleplaying decision to ride a bicycle is not justification to make him feel useless.

[Rockphed]

**Especially not if my companion's build is based around solving problems with cool stunts on a motorcycle

*** Alright, gate now has a 10% chance to summon a gang of biker demons.

* I may not gate in a gang of biker demons to solve all my problems.

[Wookieetank]

*** Alright, gate now has a 10% chance to summon a gang of biker demons.

* I may not gate in a gang of biker demons to solve all my problems.

**Even if I am playing as Ghost Rider.

[Arkhosia]

**Even if I am playing as Ghost Rider.

***Undead now are vulnerable to fire damage for trying that excuse. :smallmad:

[unseenmage]

***Undead now are vulnerable to fire damage for trying that excuse. :smallmad:

**** Getting Fire Shield (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/fireShield.htm)cast on you and wearing a sign around your neck with the words, "Free Hugs" is discouraged.

[A Tad Insane]

*No 3d maneuvering gear
**It's not that they aren't cool, the tech doesn't exsist, or your character wouldn't make/use them efficiently, it's just the dm really doesn't want to work out the roll system.
***Making a set of rules for 3d maneuvering gear and presenting it to the dm is considered bad taste

[Arkhosia]

Playing a chaotic evil undead warlock named Richard is only acceptable if the team includes an elf ranger, half-Orc cleric, and dwarf bard

[Adoendithas]

***Making a set of rules for 3d maneuvering gear and presenting it to the dm is considered bad taste
Why? If I didn't have a good set of rules for something a player wanted to try I'd let them bring in their own

[DigoDragon]

* I may not gate in a gang of biker demons to solve all my problems.


Also forbidden from starting up a children's card game while riding motorcycles.




Christ Digo, what did you do this time?

One of my players has been in ICU for a week, so I had this great idea of bringing the rest of the group and our Shadowrun equipment over to visit him and play a session there. Our friend was all for something interesting to do. The ICU staff... mmm, not so much. :smallredface:

[Joe the Rat]

Playing a chaotic evil undead warlock named Richard is only acceptable if the team includes an elf ranger, half-Orc cleric, and dwarf bard

Well, you got the half- part right.

* My character's parentage cannot break the setting's "Goodness of Fit Test"
** Yes, for all three interpretations of the phrase.

[Manly Man]

* I may not gate in a gang of biker demons to solve all my problems.

**I may especially not gate these four bikers in particular. (http://gorillaartfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/good_omens_riders_small-620x876.jpg)

[Ksheep]

**I may especially not gate these four bikers in particular. (http://gorillaartfare.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/good_omens_riders_small-620x876.jpg)

*** Gating in the other four Bikers of the Apocalypse is acceptable, provided they are Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Really Cool People, and Treading In Dog Crap (formerly All Foreigners Especially The French, formerly Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping, never actually No Alcohol Lager, briefly Embarrassing Personal Problems, and finally People Covered In Fish)

[Sith_Happens]

* I may not play this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1MDyecckpk) during any boss fight.
** Especially not an easy one.
*** I should not be surprised when the party spends the next 30 minutes IRL continuing to roll attacks against the corpse.

[Arkhosia]

This (http://youtu.be/6Su5aEVXqGs) song is not appropriate to play when slaying shadowfell monsters
**The rogue does not have a CD player with this on a cd for every time he sneak attacks someone.
***Especially if the rogue is wearing a bow

[Doorhandle]

*Tetori monks are not luchadors.
* Saying "It's doable in saint's row" is an excuse for precisely nothing.
* Same with professional wrestling
* No such thing as lawful chaotic.
* Stunning pins are not administered by use of wet-willies
* Suplexs are not a move one can use while grappling.
* Even with damage bonuses from dragon style/constrict/grab.
* Grappling does not equal groping, and treating it as such is quite unheroic.
** That succubus will see you in court.
* Cestus or no, no such thing as masterwork boxing gloves.
* Even if I can use any part of my body, not to limit my unarmed strikes entirely to head-butts.

[Mekboy]

* When choosing a character concept, music star is fine. David Bowie, less so.
** Even if David Bowie is a party member, all plans cannot basically be 'Push David Bowie out in front and see what happens'
*** David Bowie is not 90% glitter.
**** No, David Bowie cannot propel himself through the air by farting glitter.
***** Even if you are David Bowie, you're not allowed to defeat recurring villains with spontaneous musical numbers.
****** Even if they're Zombie Mick Jagger.

[Manly Man]

* When choosing a character concept, music star is fine. David Bowie, less so.
** Even if David Bowie is a party member, all plans cannot basically be 'Push David Bowie out in front and see what happens'
*** David Bowie is not 90% glitter.
**** No, David Bowie cannot propel himself through the air by farting glitter.
***** Even if you are David Bowie, you're not allowed to defeat recurring villains with spontaneous musical numbers.
****** Even if they're Zombie Mick Jagger.

*******Or the dreaded lich Keith Richards.
********Not allowed to sing duets with the aasimar Bard Farrokh Bulsara.

[Arkhosia]

*Im not allowed to know the songs "Horse Carriage", "Prince of the Planes", or any other songs by the minstrel group Queen

[Ksheep]

* I may not call the King "The Monarch Formerly Known As Prince".

[Dayaz]

I may not make characters based off tv jokes that you're tired of the dm making.

especially if it's manbearpig

[Arcane_Snowman]

My custom item of Phantom Steed may no longer be two coconut halves with a command trigger of repeatedly tapping them together.

* "Hi ho Silver away!" is not acceptable verbal components when casting Phantom Steed.

** My Phantom Steed may not feature any vivid colors.

*** In fact, the right to customizing my Phantom Steed has now been retracted.

[I.care.0]

I may not have a bard that uses Perform:(Screamo), Peform:(Death growl) or Perform:(Death Metal) anymore.

* Playing death metal music every time my bard uses inspire courage will actually give a a penalty to my allies.
*b It desn't works with enemies, and I should stop trying to optimize my party around the Inspire Death Metal class feature.
*c Stop calling it Inspire Death Metal

** A Screaming Little Sister is not a valid musical instrument.
**b I may not wield it as a weapon either.
**c It doesn't cause sonic damage.
**cb Even if a prove that a screaming little sister can, in fact, cause sonic damage to human ears.
**d If my sister is around, I should not say that a screaming little sister is a blunt weapon.
**e There is no Sans in D&D 3.5, and therefore a screaming little sister does not cause sans damage, no matter the amount of irl proof I provide.

*** If my bard, for any reason, find a Siren, I may not use Diplomancy to convince the Siren to start a band.
***b A siren is not a valid musical instrument either.

**** If I try to provide the Screamo/Death Growl myself, blunt objects will be thrown in my general direction.
****b A Screaming Little Sister will NOT be one of the blunt objects.

[Rockphed]

* Even if I can use any part of my body, not to limit my unarmed strikes entirely to head-butts.

** Not even if I have some sort of racial bonus for doing unarmed strikes with my head.
*** My minotaur now gets a to hit bonus to kick people.
** I may not try to play a giant Nac Mac Feegle.

[Manly Man]

** I may not try to play a giant Nac Mac Feegle.

***Nor am I allowed to call anyone "Bigjobs!".

[Zahhak]

* I may no longer divert combat with an argument about the morality of killing random semi-hostile NPCs
** Even if my argument is "you broke into his own and stole his gun, so he couldn't kill you for breaking into his house"

[unseenmage]

* No longer allowed to build characters based off any tv show where technically friendship is magic.
** Even if Ponies have nothing to do with it.

[Ksheep]

* Sugar, spice, and everything nice are NOT alchemy ingredients
** Nor are they golemancy ingredients
*** Chemical X does not give constructs super powers

[Arkhosia]

*I cannot have a naked mole rat as a familiar named Rufus.
**Especially if my only partner is a female rogue that saves the world

[Rockphed]

*I cannot have a naked mole rat as a familiar named Rufus.
**Especially if my only partner is a female rogue that saves the world

What class would you list Ron as having?

Also, wouldn't Kim be an unarmed swashbuckler?

[Doorhandle]

What class would you list Ron as having?

Also, wouldn't Kim be an unarmed swashbuckler?

Depends on your love for tome of battle.

[DigoDragon]

McGruff the crime dog has never worked for Doctor No.
Woodsy the Owl is not a closet arsonist.
The 'Adventures of Nick, A Teen', never included grand theft auto.
No longer allowed to create an all villain campaign based around PSA mascots of the 80s.

[Manly Man]

*Intelligent undead are not allowed to use death-themed puns unless the entire campaign has reached Monty Python levels of absurdity.

[unseenmage]

* When attending a party at the castle, I may not Suggest that the band should play the Hokey Pokey
** Nor may I show off my strength by knocking over giant statues to try to catch them
*** My druid may not bring all the woodland creatures she can find into the dance hall.
**** I shouldn't be surprised when the nobility completely ignores all my advances towards them
***** I may not try to set up shop in the courtyard, selling baked goods. The castle already has caterers, they don't need me there as well.

Is this copypasta? I swear I've read this somewhere before. (Not an accusation, just tickles my memory is all.)

[vasharanpaladin]

Is this copypasta? I swear I've read this somewhere before. (Not an accusation, just tickles my memory is all.)

FiM season 1 finale.

[unseenmage]

FiM season 1 finale.

Oh yeah, but I meant the actual text.

[Manly Man]

*I may not base an entire campaign upon The Necromancer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EbJMuSfgxc).
**Especially if any of my relatives are playing.

[Ksheep]

Oh yeah, but I meant the actual text.

No, don't think I copied that from anywhere. Been a while since I posted it though, so I may be misremembering, but I think that wording is original to me.

[DigoDragon]

*Intelligent undead are not allowed to use death-themed puns unless the entire campaign has reached Monty Python levels of absurdity.


As my group always hits Monty Python level absurdity every session, we're banned from death-themed puns period.

[Arkhosia]

•My game may not have permadeath
•Nor can the PCs know about the real world
•Looking like their players is a no.
•they do not have to clear the 100 floor dungeon to survive
•Boss battles featuring Blue ram-horned demons with snake tails are right out.
•Especially if the party only consists of a dual wielding ranger and a swashbuckler.
•The good guy group is not called Knights of The Blood Oath

[Kymme]

•My game may not have permadeath
•Nor can the PCs know about the real world
•Looking like their players is a no.
•they do not have to clear the 100 floor dungeon to survive
•Boss battles featuring Blue ram-horned demons with snake tails are right out.
•Especially if the party only consists of a dual wielding ranger and a swashbuckler.
•The good guy group is not called Knights of The Blood Oath

*Playing a multiclass Warblade/Factotum that has learned how to use multiple Strikes per round with either weapon is right out.

[Arkhosia]

*Playing a multiclass Warblade/Factotum that has learned how to use multiple Strikes per round with either weapon is right out.

•the DM himself isn't the main antagonist.
•Teleport crystals are banned.

[Sith_Happens]

* I may not name my Exalt "Vash the Stampede," even if no one gets the reference.
* "While wearing sunglasses" is not a valid Archery specialty.

[unseenmage]

* I may not name my Exalt "Vash the Stampede," even if no one gets the reference.
* "While wearing sunglasses" is not a valid Archery specialty.

** No, 'While wearing them at night', won't make it more acceptable.

[Arkhosia]

** No, 'While wearing them at night', won't make it more acceptable.

*** Nor will having a "full tank of gas"

[vasharanpaladin]

*** Nor will having a "full tank of gas"

****Or "half a pack of cigarettes."

[Arkhosia]

*****The bard does not keep his harmonica in a case chained to his wrist.

[Slipperychicken]

•the DM himself isn't the main antagonist.


**Even if the BBEG is an obvious self-insert by the DM.

[Doxkid]

*Each of my characters cannot be part of a very long and convoluted story about a halfling man and his beloved Alligator discovering themselves, finding love, unleashing unholy power that rends the world from its place in ther material plane and delicious taffy.

**Snickering as my friends recognize their characters in the story is strongly discouraged.

***I cannot substitute reloading for an Intimidate check

[unseenmage]

*Each of my characters cannot be part of a very long and convoluted story about a halfling man and his beloved Alligator discovering themselves, finding love, unleashing unholy power that rends the world from its place in ther material plane and delicious taffy.

**Snickering as my friends recognize their characters in the story is strongly discouraged.

***I cannot substitute reloading for an Intimidate check

**** Even if you've nicknamed your weapon, 'The negotiator.'
***** Especially if the authorities have nicknamed said weapon, 'The Finisher.'

[Adoendithas]

**** Even if you've nicknamed your weapon, 'The negotiator.'
***** Especially if the authorities have nicknamed said weapon, 'The Finisher.'

Back on my FIRST (as in robotics) team we had a huge mallet labelled the Argument Resolution Device. I don't think we ever really needed it, but we brought it to every build session and to the competitions.

[Lamech]

*I am not allowed to assemble a team of crack wizards to engage in a massive research project.
**Even if it is supposed to eliminate all demons everywhere.
***Designing a spell to explode the planet instead doesn't make it better.

*Stabbing mundane folks to prove they are stabbable is frowned upon.
**Magically propelled arrows to the knee are right out.
***This goes double if they are the person who runs our covenant.

*If a noble steals my keg of beer, burning "You owe me a keg of beer" into his bedroom door is acceptable. Burning down his castle and spelling out the same in the air with the smoke is not.
**Carving it into the country side so cartographers can figure it out when the maps get redrawn is right out.

*When designing enemies they should under no circumstance have "immunity to everything"
**This still applies if I split up everything into several categories.
***Enemies should not use ideas stolen from modern wars under any circumstances.
****A war plan of "nuke everything from orbit" while highly effective, is absolutely no fun for the PCs, and is not permitted.

Woo! Ars Magica! Ruining everything since 1220.

[Jormengand]

* Sugar, spice, and everything nice are NOT alchemy ingredients

Slugs, snails and puppy-dogs' tails are right out.

[Wookieetank]

Slugs, snails and puppy-dogs' tails are right out.

As are greasy grimy gopher guts.

[DigoDragon]

•My game may not have permadeath


So, no playing Shadowrun I take it? :smallbiggrin:



* I may not name my Exalt "Vash the Stampede," even if no one gets the reference.


My cleric's holy symbol may not be a ranged weapon that's 'Full of mercy.'

[Joe the Rat]

As are greasy grimy gopher guts.

*** Monkey feet are, however, usable for crafting homunculi.
**** Wash them first, please.

[unseenmage]

*** Monkey feet are, however, usable for crafting homunculi.
**** Wash them first, please.

***** 'I wish I had a monkey's paw.', is not the verbal component for the Wish spell.

[Ionbound]

*When playing a Persona-themed campaign, I may not attack other party members, no matter my excuse.

[Axinian]

My cleric's holy symbol may not be a ranged weapon that's 'Full of mercy.'


*I May never say the words "Love & Peace" ever again.

[masterjoda99]

*My Infernal Exalt may not have an artifact mah jong table
**He certainly did not use said table to have an over the top mahjong duel with an abyssal necromancer
***No, he does not have a signature hand called "Emerald Sun Rising"
****No mixing Legend of Koizumi/Mudazumo Naki Kaikaku into Exalted anymore.

[Manly Man]

*Toothbrush mustaches were not considered fashionable in medieval Europe.

[Rockphed]

*My Infernal Exalt may not have an artifact mah jong table
**He certainly did not use said table to have an over the top mahjong duel with an abyssal necromancer
***No, he does not have a signature hand called "Emerald Sun Rising"
****No mixing Legend of Koizumi/Mudazumo Naki Kaikaku into Exalted anymore.

** He may not use his artifact mah jong table to acquire local eateries.
*** Nor may he create chancel eateries to lose to random people in mah jong.
**** He most certainly no use sidereal martial arts on people he has lost restaurants to.

* If my character is impervious to most damage I must have some weakness.
** Being drawn to pie is not a weakness.

[Socratov]

*My Infernal Exalt may not have an artifact mah jong table
**He certainly did not use said table to have an over the top mahjong duel with an abyssal necromancer
***No, he does not have a signature hand called "Emerald Sun Rising"
****No mixing Legend of Koizumi/Mudazumo Naki Kaikaku into Exalted anymore.

*****even if above rules are broken, My character will not be able to cheat. This is not a question of certain stones or friction. It's magic. deal with it. No blanking a stone.
******There is no such a thing of a super version of my character's race.
*******Gouging my eyes out will not give me a bonus against distractions. You are in pain, deal with it.

[unseenmage]

*****even if above rules are broken, My character will not be able to cheat. This is not a question of certain stones or friction. It's magic. deal with it. No blanking a stone.
******There is no such a thing of a super version of my character's race.
*******Gouging my eyes out will not give me a bonus against distractions. You are in pain, deal with it.

******** 'Dealing with it' is not a mechanic of the game and therefore cannot be defended against like an attack.

[Grim Portent]

* Perform (Puppet Theater) is an acceptable skill to possess.
** I may not use it to perform The Fall of The Eldar.
***Especially not to human children.
****My Dark Eldar may not perform a musical rendition of The Fall of The Eldar.
*****No performing Dark Eldar.

[Ksheep]

* I may not have the motto of "Nothing is certain except death and taxes"
** I may not append this with "The former of those isn't even certain in 4e"
*** I may not make a tax collector who kills anyone not able to pay
**** Not able to set arbitrary tax rates for each NPC I come across
***** Nor may I set arbitrary tax rates for each PC I come across
****** Taxing the other players out of house and home is frowned upon

[Zahhak]

* Players are no longer allowed to torment and/or threaten NPCs that they hate.
** DMs are no longer allowed to force players to drag along an NPC that does nothing but complain about PCs taking too long to murder everything and run away when that happens

* PCs are no longer allowed to protest a terrible combat system by intentionally making a character that is useless in combat
** DMs are not allowed to "fix" protest-PCs
*** PCs are not allowed to protest combat by completely ignoring combat
**** Especially if it means there is a TPK

* DMs are now required to adjust the number of enemies fought when a four person party becomes two because of someone not being present and someone else protesting.

[Adoendithas]

* I may not sidetrack the Underdark intrigue campaign by insisting that the noble house "Barrison del'Armgo" is actually Italian for "bears in del'Armgo," the ancestral name of Menzoberranzan, and that the bears are controlling everything (including the gods) in an enormous conspiracy.

The closest I've ever come to throwing books. I'm never running another intrigue session with this group.

[Arkhosia]

* I may not sidetrack the Underdark intrigue campaign by insisting that the noble house "Barrison del'Armgo" is actually Italian for "bears in del'Armgo," the ancestral name of Menzoberranzan, and that the bears are controlling everything (including the gods) in an enormous conspiracy.

The closest I've ever come to throwing books. I'm never running another intrigue session with this group.

While were on the topic of drow...
•I am not allowed to be a shapeshifter with a purple dragon
•especially if my dad is a spider
•I cannot have a purple dragon
•Or a slave that is addicted to beer
•Nor can I play a orange haired, 4th-wall breaking drow
•If I do, I may not force someone to play as a gloomy half-demon with a pet spider that is always on her back.
•Playing a insane drow with the mentality of a 5 year old who turns people into golems and thinks they're dolls is right out.

[Kymme]

*I cannot name my Dawn Caste Solar 'Sampson the Strong' no matter how appropriate it will be.
**He cannot gain his power from his beautiful hair (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRlxhS8t_2k).
***Nor can he wield an Orichalcum-coated donkey mandible.
****I am banned from making Biblical references.
*****Forever.
******Not even then. :smallmad:

[Lord Raziere]

* if we are playing Vampire in any version, and I am the ST, I am not to constantly ask "Who is Caine?"
** Leaving notes asking "Who is Caine?" that causes the PC's to get attacked when they read them, is not ok
*** Nor is "Who is Caine?" graffiti on the walls kosher either.
**** Neither will I have random people around them ask "Who is Caine?"
***** Having people do a double take so that they see that the entire room is filled with graffiti of "Who is Caine?" when said graffiti wasn't there a couple seconds ago, is not to be done
****** Said room then exploding due to various explosives placed throughout, is right out
******* No matter how scary constantly asking "Who is Caine?" is for vampires, even if its supposed to be a horror game.

[vasharanpaladin]

While were on the topic of drow...
•I am not allowed to be a shapeshifter with a purple dragon
•especially if my dad is a spider
•I cannot have a purple dragon
•Or a slave that is addicted to beer
•Nor can I play a orange haired, 4th-wall breaking drow
•If I do, I may not force someone to play as a gloomy half-demon with a pet spider that is always on her back.
•Playing a insane drow with the mentality of a 5 year old who turns people into golems and thinks they're dolls is right out.

*No light-skinned, blonde-haired paladins of blood purity, either.
**Drow bards deal in POISON, not magic songs, blue hair be damned.
***Yes, a drow fighter can ride into battle on a dire wolf. No, she can't dye her hair in the blood of her enemies.
****Not allowed to play drow unless I make a Driz'zt clone or stop reading Drowtales.

[Arkhosia]

* if we are playing Vampire in any version, and I am the ST, I am not to constantly ask "Who is Caine?"
** Leaving notes asking "Who is Caine?" that causes the PC's to get attacked when they read them, is not ok
*** Nor is "Who is Caine?" graffiti on the walls kosher either.
**** Neither will I have random people around them ask "Who is Caine?"
***** Having people do a double take so that they see that the entire room is filled with graffiti of "Who is Caine?" when said graffiti wasn't there a couple seconds ago, is not to be done
****** Said room then exploding due to various explosives placed throughout, is right out
******* No matter how scary constantly asking "Who is Caine?" is for vampires, even if its supposed to be a horror game.

********"Are You My Mummy?" Is not creepy either. Especially if you wear a gas mask

[Kazyan]

*Cannot, when going through a dungeon with some sort of sequence of levels, impatiently ask the NPCs how to get the next level/what the catch is/how to avoid that catch.

[Braininthejar2]

* Feeding a cohort to a charmed deepspawn to make disposible copies is wrong and gross.
* Feeding BBEG to a deepspawn will get the deepspawn killed by heroic adventurers.
* Sending thoqquas through load-bearing walls isn't the answer to everything.
** even if they can bore at 1 meter per second through solid rock
* When several people get mysteriously mauled by dire wolverines in the middle of the capital city over the span of a week, some NPCs will connect the dots.

[Sith_Happens]

* Celestial Exalted are not magical girls.
** My Celestial's catchphrase may not be "In the name of the [Sun/Moon/Insert Planet], I shall punish you!"
* Exigent Exalted are not magical girls either.
** There is no god or similar being that singles out young girls for Exaltation.
*** There is definitely not a Fair Folk who offers young girls a wish in exchange for using Grace Magic to fight behemoths.

* The Holonet does not have a "Cathar fandom."
** I may not create one.

[Braininthejar2]

And now for my favourite show...

* Even if I can somehow do it without hurting myself, inflating my limb by two size categories won't give me a size modifier to strength.
* My power to "turn any object into a homing projectile" shall henceforth be limited to objects I can physically lift.
* The power to "push away anything" is poorly worded. I shall not use it to create a locate city bomb.
** Nor for windwalk
*** Restoration is just silly.
* Martial maneuvres cannot be a substitute for heal skill.
** Especially if used for plastic surgery
* I shall never again give Leadership feat to a character with int as a dump stat.
** No more chaotic good for me

[unseenmage]

* I will not Plane Shift to the realms of the dead and build a condo for all of our past character's spirits to inhabit.
** Even if there are really quite a few of them due to that annoying, 'Death is permanent.', houserule.
*** Making sure to Plane Shift and write the memoirs of each character who dies just to make a point about said houserule is also frowned upon.
**** Forcing the BBEG and it's organization to chase the party into the realms of the dead so that the spirits of past characters can help us fight them is definitely not allowed.

[Arkhosia]

*My PC may not have been mentored by Old Man Henderson
**A lawn gnome is not a priceless artifact
***I do not get a +5 to checks that involve dropping Yachts on houses
****Killing 3 other PCs in one session is not part of the Henderson Code

[Ionbound]

*****It is, however, part of the Henderson code to kill someone so many times in a single session that they create "The Perfect Support Character"

[Rockphed]

* There is not a Henson code.
** Even if there were, it would not demand creation of talking animals.
*** Nor of unintelligible chefs.

[Adoendithas]

* If I ever yell "MUCKLE DARNED CULTISTS WHERE E NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN ME WEE MEN!!!" the DM will throw books.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

*The Henderson code is not guide of how to 'beat' Call of Cthulhu. It was a once in a life time miracle, stop trying.

[TuggyNE]

*The Henderson code is not guide of how to 'beat' Call of Cthulhu. It was a once in a life time miracle, stop trying.

** Not once in a character's lifetime, either.

[Socratov]

*No I cannot take EWP: Ship
**If I ever write a 300 page backstory my DM can flat out refuse my character
***there are no lawn gnomes in this universe
****Fuel tankers are under protection os BPShell, the overdeity of fossile fuel and thus indestructable

[Ionbound]

*****If the 300 page backstory has sections in a language that you do not know, and these sections are later found to be perfect, it is perfectly OK for the DM to call an exorcist.

[Ksheep]

* I may not sell the PCs tribbles
** Nor may I sell them flat cats
*** The same goes for parasprites
**** I may not sell any small furry creature that purrs when petted and which reproduces extremely quickly when fed
***** Especially if the campaign is either nautical or space themed
****** Not allowed to suddenly care about tracking rations as soon as this occurs

[Sith_Happens]

* I definitely may not sell or give the PCs a Gremlin.

[Prince Raven]

* My Tibbit character has to actually be in humanoid form sometimes.
** My Tibbit character may not recreate the musical Cats
*** Even if I can sing "Memory" tolerably well
**** Tibbits do not automatically get Favoured Enemy for rodents, kobolds, pieces of string or ankles.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

* I may not sell the PCs tribbles
** Nor may I sell them flat cats
*** The same goes for parasprites
**** I may not sell any small furry creature that purrs when petted and which reproduces extremely quickly when fed
***** Especially if the campaign is either nautical or space themed
****** Not allowed to suddenly care about tracking rations as soon as this occurs

Why wouldn't they just feed them after midnight, have them multiply then eat the new ones and do it all over again. Endless rations!

[Alabenson]

* There is no need for me to write my character his own theme song.
** Especially if said theme song is based on the Miser Brothers themes.
*** Should I write said song, I am not to have my character and his minions preform said song in its entirety.

[DigoDragon]

* I definitely may not sell or give the PCs a Gremlin.


Nor sell/give them a Pinto or a Vega.

[unseenmage]

* Just because I can create a new race pre-epic doesn't mean I should.
** Calling them the Hiyops and establishing in them a culture and credo of Optimal Efficiency Above All Else will be frowned upon.
*** Suiciding my current character just so I can play my created race just because "it's in their fluff to be crunchy" will cause a rocks-fall genocide.

[Arkhosia]

• No wearing sunglasses while in a horse drawn carriage at night after feeding the horse.
• My bard dies not know Sweet Home Chicago
• Or own a guard's retired horse

[Socratov]

• No wearing sunglasses while in a horse drawn carriage at night after feeding the horse.
• My bard does not know Sweet Home Chicago
• Or own a guard's retired horse

**Nor does he have a Heward's Handy Haversack chained to his wrist
*My bards will never wear black hats

[Sith_Happens]

* My Rogue Trader/Star Wars character may not use the pseudonym "The Space Pirate Roberts."
** It may not be his actual name either.

[Alabenson]

* Under no circumstances may I base any of my campaign's major NPCs on Old Man Henderson.
** Especially not one of the villains.

[Doorhandle]

*When playing Giant Guardian Generation, I need to think more in terms of that game and less in terms of Battletech.
** Also vice-versa, smartass.
*Even if playing Giant Guardian Generation, cannot spend all of my mecha's points on more drills.
** Ditto with rocket fists. Or pile bunkers.
*Cannot spend all my points on defensive upgrades and make my mecha's only recourse slamming into foes.
*Multiple mechas forming one mecha bigger than it's original components is fine. A mecha design based entirely around picking up one of it's components and beating people with it is not.
** Cannot have a mecha for my mecha so I can pilot while I pilot.
*If you have the dogfighter mod, you can use a Reaction bomb in melee range. You probably shouldn't, but you CAN.
**Not to get around the one-use-only component of the Reaction bomb by buying it multiple times
*** No mecha is allowed to carry enough nukes to cause a nuclear winter by itself. It's just wrong, okay?
****I don't care if it has a theme song! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hVqpjZ8qWM)
*Red may make my mecha go faster, but painting it's purple won't make it invisible. It doesn't matter if no-one has ever seen a purple mecha.
* Even if Aphrodite A did it first, breast missiles are a no.
** So are crotch missiles.
*** Pec missiles are okay.
**** butt machineguns are also okay but highly questionable.
* Victory curb-stomping is not a mandatory part of Mech-pilot training.
**No matter how much it would have helped out in pacific rim.
* A saddle nailed into an outsider is not sufficient to turn it into a biomecha.
* Even if it can shoot shurirkens and lighting, it is in poor form for my mecha to have tits and to be on fire.

*Cannot just throw every encounter idea I have at the players at once in lieu of an actual campaign. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtgYY7dhTyE)

[Braininthejar2]

Anima - Beyond Fantasy (last game: wasn't banned, but it should be)

* Making a water-focused elemental mage in a naval campaign is expected.
** Min-maxing his water magic to the point where he makes the rest of the party absolete is frowned upon - this is not 3.5
*** Making the min-max build possible by taking disadvantages: "heavy sleeper", "alcoholic" and "susseptible to mind control" is just asking for trouble.

* When an inexperienced GM tries to give the wizard some background by having the innkeeper insist that he owes him money, the proper response is to explain to the GM that gold coins there are worth 10 times more than he thinks they are, not freeze the water inside the innkeeper's body.
* No pointing out to the party that the overpowerd NPCs the inexperienced GM created could have delivered the mcguffin in seconds with their own power instead of paying the party to cart it across the valley.

[DigoDragon]

The pirate is not allowed to create a variation Team Rocket theme with the rogue.
Also not allowed to teach the Navi fairy to shout "Meowth, that's right!" in Klingon.
I may no longer attempt to weaponize rum, or any alcoholic beverage.
Captain Morgan is not a real captain. Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo are not members of his crew.
Bilge Rat and Bilge Pump are not to be considered 'of the same subtype' for purposes of Polymorph.

[vasharanpaladin]

Captain Morgan is not a real captain. Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo are not members of his crew.


Of course they aren't, Captain Morgan's a racist! :smallamused:

[Lord Raziere]

* As DM, I may not rule making stuffed kenders is an inherently Good act.
** No matter how much the players agree.
*** Especially if its to scare other kenders into becoming Afflicted Kender
**** No matter how much the players agree with that either.
***** No, not even if it technically makes the world a less annoying place, and thus a better place.

[unseenmage]

* Clay pots don't contain free items.
** No neither do barrels.
*** Nor do either contain explosives.
**** Ever. No, really quit checking.
***** Aggravating the GM as to the above will cause 'Explosive Barrels Fall Everyone Dies' minus the everyone.

[illyahr]

*I may not play an Incubus character.
**Incubus character will not be allowed a Cloak of Charisma of any power.
***Said Incubus may not max out ranks in Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive.
****Incubus may not sweet-talk members of the enemy party into turning on their group. Repeated offenses will have the DM put the party against a Black Great Wyrm Avatar of Faluzhure
*****A natural 20 will not resist said dragon's fear aura.
******Incubus will not attempt to seduce said dragon. Not even if they turn into a female drow.
*******Dragon's minimum Sense Motive will always be 1 point higher than the Incubus's maximum Bluff for the purposes of seduction checks, as said dragon has no interest in turning into a drow to do the deed.
********Incubus will not conceive and bear a drow half-dragon half-fiend with a Divine Rank of 0.

*Mentioning the names "Argon" or "Black Queen Onyx," or the phrases "That's what he said" or "Oh, god," no matter the situation, will result in my current character being smote by every Good-aligned dragon deity. :smallbiggrin:

[refaderh]

Of course they aren't, Captain Morgan's a racist! :smallamused:

OMG. Are you kidding me?

[vasharanpaladin]

OMG. Are you kidding me?

Never mix Captain Morgan with Jose Cuervo. It ends badly. :smalleek:

[Socratov]

well, if cpt. Morgan is racist (and I frequently mix him with other drinks), then what does that make tequila and vodka?

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

well, if cpt. Morgan is racist (and I frequently mix him with other drinks), then what does that make tequila and vodka?

A good time.

[refaderh]

Never mix Captain Morgan with Jose Cuervo. It ends badly. :smalleek:

I have never mixed Captain Morgan with Jose Cuervo! What are you talking about?

[vasharanpaladin]

I have never mixed Captain Morgan with Jose Cuervo! What are you talking about?

*May not put the game on hold to discuss the inherent wrongness of mixing certain liquors.

[Joe the Rat]

*May not put the game on hold to discuss the inherent wrongness of mixing certain liquors.
** May not continue to segue into the mixology behind a Long Island Iced Tea
*** Long Island Spiced Tea is pretty funky, though.

[unseenmage]

** May not continue to segue into the mixology behind a Long Island Iced Tea
*** Long Island Spiced Tea is pretty funky, though.

**** Mixed Drink Golems will never be a thing.
***** No matter how popular my homebrewed Dwarven Ale Golem was.
****** Seriously, there's no comparison between mixed drinks and good stocky dwarven ale. Quit trying.

[DigoDragon]

Quit trying.


No longer allowed to let the drunk wizard read these posts and accept challenges therein.
Also not allowed to suggest rabbits as a viable substitute container to hold the wizard's experimental brew.
Open flames are no longer allowed near rabbits.

[Arkhosia]

• Henderson's Plot Derail is not a spell.
• Nor is Henderson's Falling Yacht
• Definitely not Henderson's Gnomic Rage
• There is no such thing as the Clergy of Henderson

[Zahhak]

I may not divert a perfectly good tabletop game session with a 3 hour long discussion on how much the Jaegers from Pacific Rim actually weigh.

[Arkhosia]

I may not divert a perfectly good tabletop game session with a 3 hour long discussion on how much the Jaegers from Pacific Rim actually weigh.

• Swords do not use 10d20 for damage rolls.

[Ksheep]

* I may not make the PCs believe they were polymorphed into the BBEG and co. during a dream sequence
** I may not make it so whenever they try to talk with their friends in this new form, they are attacked and shunned
*** I may not encourage them to embrace their new identities
**** I may not make them find that being the BBEG is really fun
***** Once the dream sequence is over and they awake as they were, I should not be surprised when they decide to side with the BBEG in a power grab

[Deremir]

• i may not send the party thats never played before against a skellatal dragon in the first session.

• nor may i be annoid when they do not set a trap for it and instead attack it head on

• nor when the dont take any damage and the fodder dubbed steave survives.

• if.a party member kills steave because he thinks the gouls touch is turning him into a zombie i may not bring him back as a sentient undead in an attempt to make a reacurring villan.

• i also may not be angry when they succesfully convinse said undead steave to rejoin the party when they still think hes just back from the dead and not undead.

They still dont know hes undead. :smallbiggrin:

[Rockphed]

• i also may not be angry when they succesfully convinse said undead steave to rejoin the party when they still think hes just back from the dead and not undead.

They still dont know hes undead. :smallbiggrin:

Slowly work descriptions of his slowly rotting flesh in and see how long before they realize that he did not get better from being dead.

[Grim Portent]

*I am not to power game Black Crusade in silly ways.
**Making Techmarines is fine, making dreadnoughts isn't even when I can find a legitimate way to do so.
***Making dreadnought sized monsters that move faster than cars is right out.
****No more cross sourcebook requisitions for me.

[Prince Raven]

Grim Portent, your games sound like fun.

[Deremir]

* I may not give the party members aids
** no matter how much he deserved it.
*** no the fact that he got it in the first five minuts of his first session. does not "prove how much he deserved it"
**** no the fact that it started as hiv and not aids does not make it better.


* also not allowed to cure said party members aids by having get raped by a unicorn.
** especially when its just so i can give him aids again later.

[Grim Portent]

Grim Portent, your games sound like fun.

Heh, I almost never use the weirder stuff I come up with in actual games, though I am sorely tempted to ask my GM if I can make a dinosaur character when my heretek kicks the bucket. I suspect he may say yes since he did let me transfer the memories of an alien into my characters head so he's fine with weird stuff, and in our games a dinosaur might wind up being weaker than everyone else (chaos marines are nasty when they try).

[Jormengand]

Think Black Crusade's bad?

*In D20 40K, I may no longer have infinite heavy flamers with infinite ammo at first level.
**Nor may I have a Chimaera at first level.
***If I ever find a way, at any level, to have a star fort, I am henceforth banned from playing.

[Adoendithas]

* Even if I just bought a new recording of Mozart's Requiem mass, that does not mean I can play the Dies Irae during a climactic battle. It freaks the players out too much.
** Same for Lacrimosa to make them feel uneasy.

[Phlebas]

* Even if I just bought a new recording of Mozart's Requiem mass, that does not mean I can play the Dies Irae during a climactic battle. It freaks the players out too much.
** Same for Lacrimosa to make them feel uneasy.

***I may no longer sing along to Mozart.
**** Especially if the piece hasn't actually got vocals, and is for an orchestra.
***** This goes double if the piece ends up sounding like a football chant.

[Ksheep]

* If one of the PCs has a price on their head, I may not make every NPC immediately try to kill/capture them
** Especially if this includes barkeeps, shop keeps, the town drunkard (who turns out to be a Drunken Master), and the random hermit they find halfway up a mountain
*** The barkeep cannot slip poison into the wanted PCs drink
**** Slipping a sleeping potion into everyone else's drink is poor form
***** Especially if "everyone else" includes the entire tavern
****** PCs are to be extra wary whenever they hear "Drinks on the house" or "The next round is on me" any time in the future

[Zahhak]

I'm surprised my last post wasn't more popular

*cries*

[unseenmage]

* No more artificers.
** No more Warforged gishes who wish they were Artificers.
*** No more Goblin murderhobos who know about Artifice and dabble in Alchemy.
**** Fine I can play another Artificer but no Tier 1.
***** No more Spell Storing Infusion.
****** No Tier 2 either.
******* No more making Alchemical items during "down time".
******** Especially with the express purpose of putting the party to sleep to create more "down time" to craft.
******** Okay back to no more Artificers.

[Adoendithas]

***I may no longer sing along to Mozart.
**** Especially if the piece hasn't actually got vocals, and is for an orchestra.
***** This goes double if the piece ends up sounding like a football chant.

****** If Dies irae, dies illa, solvet saeclum in favilla, teste david *** sybilla! Quantus tremor est futurus, quando index est venturus, cuncta stricte discessurus! is my football team's fight song, something has gone horribly wrong.
******* The same goes for anything else in Latin.

EDIT: Honestly, the letters c, u, and m form a perfectly valid Latin word, it just means "with." Stupid autocensor...

[Arkhosia]

*My Barbarian's motto is not Occidamus omnes membrorum partes.

[Kennisiou]

*Your Rogue is not allowed to sneak attack.
**Well, okay, he can sneak attack enemies if they aren't aware of his presence, but enemies that are merely flanked or flatfooted can't be sneak-attacked.
***Because sneak attack is too strong that's why.
****Yes, I do know that the wizard ended our first encounter by himself with just a fireball spell, but it cost him a spell for the day so that's not broken. Your sneak attack costs you nothing.
*****You cannot hide in plain sight even though you have gear that allows you to do so, because hiding in plain sight to sneak attack all the time is broken.

Yes, these are all things that happened when I showed up to a session with a relatively new DM and played a rogue. Yes, it was the only session I ever played with him.

[Prince Raven]

I too have experienced unfair rogue nerfing, what was weird is that my cleric, wizard and sorcerer party members didn't get nerfed at all beyond banning polymorph. My DM's rogue nerfs were:
1. Sneak attack dice only apply to 1 attack per enemy per round
2. No one counts as flat-footed at the start of combat outside of surprise rounds. Yes this does make my Rogue useless for the first round of every combat, no the DM doesn't care.
3. If an enemy NPC is walking through a doorway backwards holding a hostage and distracted by the party while you're hiding behind the doorway, and I attack him as soon as he steps out, he can make a spot check to not count as being flat-footed, despite technically being in a grapple, because noticing a dagger a split-second before it punctures your kidney makes the subsequent kidney-puncturing hurt a lot less apparently.

Fortunately I managed to convince him that 1 was stupid, but 2 and 3 remained a thing until I left the group.

[Alberic Strein]

*I may not ask the party to stall for two hours so I get my awesome spells back.
**Telling the DM all the terrible things I'm going to do to his fiend Big Bad does not count as warning him that I am actually preparing the spells to do just that.
*** Consequently, I am not allowed to use said time to prepare numerous Holy Storms.
****Trouncing the end fight with Divine Metamagicked Holy Storms is not allowed anymore.
*****Playing "The Rains of Castamere" on my phone while doing so is just bad form.
******Singing said song is not allowed anymore either.
*******"Rock you like a Hurricane" is banned too.
********My weapons cannot be named "Gold"
*********Still, yelling "You just struck GOLD!" when landing a blow is still forbidden.
**********Puns are forbidden. Period.
***********No debt was to be paid.

[Jormengand]

********My weapons cannot be named "Gold"
*********Still, yelling "You just struck GOLD!" when landing a blow is still forbidden.

In Russia, gold strikes you!

[Alberic Strein]

In Russia, gold strikes you!

Why in the name of Washington didn't I think of that?! It's awesome!

*Particularly well thought "In Russia..." jokes will warrant you ONE round of applause and then be banned forever.
**This is not meant as an incentive to find better and better jokes every round.
***The round of applause does not apply to enemies.
****Even if it is said in character.
*****Even if it does, it does not provoke an AoO.
******You cannot sneak attack applauding enemies.

[Prince Raven]

* Parley is not French for "Everyone else is unarmed and flat-footed"

Things I May No Longer Do While at My Cousin's Wedding:

*****Playing "The Rains of Castamere" on my phone while doing so is just bad form.
******Singing said song is not allowed anymore either.

[unseenmage]

* The NPCs are not cattle.
** Mooing whenever the NPCs do something expected of them is in poor form.
*** Slaughtering them for food is right out.
**** We just agreed they weren't cattle; why would you try to MILK them?!
***** No more making teasing the DM about his portrayal of NPCs on threat of IRL death and/or dismemberment.

[Slipperychicken]

* Even if I just bought a new recording of Mozart's Requiem mass, that does not mean I can play the Dies Irae during a climactic battle. It freaks the players out too much.


**The same goes for Verdi's Requiem (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDFFHaz9GsY).
***Looping the first minutes of any music for the "loud parts" will be frowned upon, provided the players manage to calm down long enough to notice.

[Alberic Strein]

* Parley is not French for "Everyone else is unarmed and flat-footed"

I am French and I approve of this translation!

[Arkhosia]

*My artificer cannot be raised by golems
**she cannot build stuff overnight and not know.
***No death rays that blast through a castle wall!
****Nor creating a Runciple Machine Gun
*****This is D&D! You can't invent guns!
******Girl Genius is now blocked on my web browsers.

[Adoendithas]

* If the short version of my plan includes the word "octuple-cross," it is vetoed.
** Even if it's perfectly in-character for a drow.
*** Especially if I don't happen to be a drow.

[vasharanpaladin]

* If the short version of my plan includes the word "octuple-cross," it is vetoed.
** Even if it's perfectly in-character for a drow.
*** Especially if I don't happen to be a drow.

****For the purpose of this rule "drow," "dark elf," "dark eldar," "druchii" and "dark eldarin" are interchangeable.
*****...None of these grant a bonus to Heal, Craft (leatherworking) or any other skill checks that may be relevant to skinning someone's face and preserving it as a trophy, stop asking.

[Slipperychicken]

*****...None of these grant a bonus to Heal, Craft (leatherworking) or any other skill checks that may be relevant to skinning someone's face and preserving it as a trophy, stop asking.

******No matter how awesome it is, or how much gold I can make from it, I am forbidden from using Craft (Taxidermy) to sell the stuffed corpses of my enemies.

*******Even if those monsters would look totally awesome in a museum display or private mansion.

********This goes double for humanoid corpses.

[DigoDragon]

********My weapons cannot be named "Gold"
*********Still, yelling "You just struck GOLD!" when landing a blow is still forbidden.

If your weapon gets buffed with a Magic Weapon spell, is it renamed "Boosted Gold"? :smalltongue:


...yeah puns get banned pretty quickly when I'm in the game.

[Ksheep]

* While I am allowed to have several different currencies, I may not make one which can be purchased for real world money
** Making it so this currency only drops very rarely in game is frowned upon
*** Especially if they only get one unit each time they level up, and one or two for a select few missions
**** This goes doubly so if a MacGuffin they need to progress in the story can only be obtained via this currency
***** Especially if the MacGuffin costs several hundred units of this currency
****** No microtransactions allowed in the D&D game!

[Sith_Happens]

* While I am allowed to have several different currencies, I may not make one which can be purchased for real world money
** Making it so this currency only drops very rarely in game is frowned upon
*** Especially if they only get one unit each time they level up, and one or two for a select few missions
**** This goes doubly so if a MacGuffin they need to progress in the story can only be obtained via this currency
***** Especially if the MacGuffin costs several hundred units of this currency
****** No microtransactions allowed in the D&D game!

http://i1.kwejk.pl/site_media/obrazki/2013/02/968385b953de8960a6c845275086a2cd_cropped.gif?13615 70860

[Arkhosia]

*I may not make a monk named Mr. Popo.
**"Popo!" Is not the password
***Nor do I gain entry because "it just knows better".
****I may not instill mortal fear in the other PC
*****Nor may I make him obey without question by uttering "pecking order"

[unseenmage]

*I may not make a monk named Mr. Popo.
**"Popo!" Is not the password
***Nor do I gain entry because "it just knows better".
****I may not instill mortal fear in the other PC
*****Nor may I make him obey without question by uttering "pecking order"

****** Painting your character in blackface is right out. Even if that really is how he's supposed to look.

[Jormengand]

**"Popo!" Is not the password

***"Swordfish," "Password" and "Qwertyuiop" are right out.

[Arkhosia]

****** Painting your character in blackface is right out. Even if that really is how he's supposed to look.

*******The other PCs do not have lower status than dirt.

[masterjoda99]

*I may not make a monk named Mr. Popo.
**"Popo!" Is not the password
***Nor do I gain entry because "it just knows better".
****I may not instill mortal fear in the other PC
*****Nor may I make him obey without question by uttering "pecking order"

Corollary to the above: If you can actually manage any of those things by actually being a monk, then you most certainly may.

[unseenmage]

Corollary to the above: If you can actually manage any of those things by actually being a monk, then you most certainly may.

* No homebrew kamehameha.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

* No homebrew kamehameha.

**However, if you cross class as a Warlock, you may use Eldritch Blast as a kamehameha.
***No more shouting the name of my attacks.

[Turalisj]

* I may not refer to the elf thief as Santa's Helper.
* * Not even when he's been cursed to be 2ft tall.
* * * No, not even when he causes coins to drop from the dungeon ceiling.

[Dimcair]

* I may not make it a thing in any campaign that elves are afro-americans and half-orcs are latinos and both races talk the appropriate slang

[Mekboy]

* I will use Spellcraft to find out what a magic item does. Not Use Magic Device.

We lost a PC to blindly activating a gem containing a decidedly angry fire elemental.

[Rockphed]

* I may not make it a thing in any campaign that elves are afro-americans and half-orcs are latinos and both races talk the appropriate slang

I am now imagining a world where all elves have afros, wear bell-bottoms, and throw rocking disco parties. I am not sure if I like it or not.

[Lord Raziere]

* there is no such thing a "kender paladin". that is a contradiction in terms.
**similarly you are not playing a kender wizard.
*** naming him "Jar Jar the Kender Wizard" is not making him endearing
**** naming him "Wesley Jar Crusher" is not helping his case.
***** nor is "Scrappy Jar Crusher"
****** "Jar Jar Scrappy Crusher-Griffins" the kender wizard is a unholy abomination that will never be allowed in this world or any hypothetical realm of roleplaying existence. put the Necronomicon or any other forbidden texts of darkness and insanity, down please.

[refaderh]

*May not put the game on hold to discuss the inherent wrongness of mixing certain liquors.

I can't understand you. Explain you opinion more correct.

[TuggyNE]

I can't understand you. Explain you opinion more correct.

** May not put thread on hold to discuss the inherent wrongness of much of anything.

:smalltongue:

[sparky9042]

***"Swordfish," "Password" and "Qwertyuiop" are right out.

****"1-2-3-4-5" is, in fact, the password an idiot would have on his luggage. That does not justify your 6 INT, 8 WIS Barbarian using that as a password.

[Jormengand]

****"1-2-3-4-5" is, in fact, the password an idiot would have on his luggage. That does not justify your 6 INT, 8 WIS Barbarian using that as a password.

*****Your barbarian's statline is not a valid password.
******I may not have a magic item which changes the password every time the barbarian's stats change.

[Slipperychicken]

I am now imagining a world where all elves have afros, wear bell-bottoms, and throw rocking disco parties. I am not sure if I like it or not.

It works in Shadowrun, especially since ethnicity (i.e. white/hispanic/black) and "race" (elf/dwarf/human/ork/troll) are distinct there, and you can have any combination. A lot of people there have anachronistic fashion like steampunk anyway, since nobody knows what will be in style by 2075. You can have a number of jokes like dubstep and screamo being considered "classic" music.


*Perform(Dubstep) is not a valid skill.
**No, dubstep is not an instrument.
***My character's cyberdeck is not an instrument either.
****Hacking enemy commlinks to blast Katie Perry songs into their ears is a war crime in 2075.

[refaderh]

** May not put thread on hold to discuss the inherent wrongness of much of anything.

:smalltongue:

Oh,sorry. You are right,of course. Excuse me.

[Ksheep]

* I may not base a Paranoia campaign on The Stanley Parable
** Nor may I base a Paranoia campaign on Portal
*** Basing a Paranoia campaign on THX 1138 may be acceptable, assuming that the majority of the players haven't already seen said movie

[Adoendithas]

****"1-2-3-4-5" is, in fact, the password an idiot would have on his luggage. That does not justify your 6 INT, 8 WIS Barbarian using that as a password.
Amazing! That's the same combination I have on my luggage!

Note to self: change combination on luggage.

[Wookieetank]

* I may not base a Paranoia campaign on The Stanley Parable
** Nor may I base a Paranoia campaign on Portal
*** Basing a Paranoia campaign on THX 1138 may be acceptable, assuming that the majority of the players haven't already seen said movie

****As much as AM from I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream would make a decent Friend Computer, for the sake of my players' sanity, no, just no.
*****Using ranbow road as a racecourse in Paranois may make for an entertaining show of player inventiveness, it is pretty certain the characters will not survive the first lap of the course, all clones included.

[Spore]

* Wildshaping into a bear and having a female bear companion isn't considered social roleplay
** Keeping said social interaction ambigous instead of describing more innocent things is taboo
*** Having your druid be killed in battle and his "companion" mourn over the dead body is the only consequence a DM could think of

[Hyena]

* As a DM, I may no longer use dancing lights traps.

[Arkhosia]

*I may not name my Razorclaw Shifter Wizard Blaire
**She may not live in a pumpkin house
***Nor can she have an odd fondness for bathing
****She may not learn how to shapeshift into a cat
*****She does not have 9 lives

[Sith_Happens]

*I may not name my Razorclaw Shifter Wizard Blaire
**She may not live in a pumpkin house
***Nor can she have an odd fondness for bathing
****She may not learn how to shapeshift into a cat
*****She does not have 9 lives

* My Psychic Warrior may not have a giant screw sticking out of his head.
** He does not Overchannel by turning it.
* Making a Dramatic Entrance complete with boasting will impose a penalty on my Hide and Move Silently checks.

[vasharanpaladin]

* My Psychic Warrior may not have a giant screw sticking out of his head.
** He does not Overchannel by turning it.
* Making a Dramatic Entrance complete with boasting will impose a penalty on my Hide and Move Silently checks.

*My Weapon Familiar may not actually be a humanoid of any gender, no matter how intelligent.
**Nor may I have two, no matter how much I play up my character's alleged obsession with symmetry.
***Yes, you did fold the toilet paper, stay put and support your party!

[Socratov]

*My Weapon Familiar may not actually be a humanoid of any gender, no matter how intelligent.
**Nor may I have two, no matter how much I play up my character's alleged obsession with symmetry.
***Yes, you did fold the toilet paper, stay put and support your party!

*Books are improvised weapons
**No I may not spend a feat to get EWP(Books)
***Powerattacking with an atlas is in poor taste

[Arkhosia]

*My Weapon Familiar may not actually be a humanoid of any gender, no matter how intelligent.
**Nor may I have two, no matter how much I play up my character's alleged obsession with symmetry.
***Yes, you did fold the toilet paper, stay put and support your party!

****I may not kill something because "It's unsymmetrical!".
*****I am not allowed to get angry at my Weapon Familiar when her stance is out of line.

[Ghost Nappa]

*Perform(Dubstep) is not a valid skill.
**No, dubstep is not an instrument.
***My character's cyberdeck is not an instrument either.
****Hacking enemy commlinks to blast Katie Perry songs into their ears is a war crime in 2075.

** No, Mayonnaise is not an instrument.
*** Horse Radish is not an instrument either.
** Instruments of Torture due not count as Musical instruments.
*** Even if I'm torturing someone.
**** Especially if I'm torturing someone.

[JHShadon]

** No, Mayonnaise is not an instrument.
*** Horse Radish is not an instrument either.
** Instruments of Torture due not count as Musical instruments.
*** Even if I'm torturing someone.
**** Especially if I'm torturing someone.

*****The people I am torturing definitely don't count as musical instruments.
******If I am to say that their screams are a symphony I have to go seek psychological help.

[Ghost Nappa]

*****The people I am torturing definitely don't count as musical instruments.
******If I am to say that their screams are a symphony I have to go seek psychological help.

******* I am not allowed to be an Evil Bard.

[Socratov]

*I may not play this guy:

http://img.geocaching.com/cache/4778ca76-f652-4856-9a65-ee3e240463f9.jpg

[Prince Raven]

******* I am not allowed to be an Evil Bard.

******** No, I can't get away with Chaotic Neutral

[N00B14N]

*i can no longer use throwing returning sizing houses as my weapon of choice even if (especially if) he okayed it while drunk :smallbiggrin:
**or ships:smallsmile:
***or siege rams:smallannoyed:
****or carts:smallyuk:

[Sith_Happens]

* The Fist of the Nose Hair style does not exist in any RPG.
** I may not invent the Fist of the Nose Hair style in any RPG.

[Arkhosia]

*I may not have a glove covered in white dragon teeth called Fist of the North Rawr

[VariSami]

* Lines starting with "You are already..." are henceforth banned.
** Especially if they end in bad puns which rhyme with "dead".
*** "Hidebu" is not a natural sound to make when dying.
**** Especially when you are already bread due to a magic hammer's powers.
***** A magic hammer which turns everything it turns to bread? I am not even the original author of the idea.
****** Utilizing it to make a Fist of the North Star pun was still in bad taste, though.

* I may not make a job interview for becoming the cook of the PCs' tavern a competition between American-inspired and Japan-inspired cuisine.
** Especially when the cooks are a Boarman (Farrow) Binder and a Nezumi Cleric.
*** It might also have been better not to write a menu after the Farrow was chosen, causing one of the players to crave for the randomly created and probably horrible dessert "sweetened sour milk with ginger and dates".
**** It will be in bad taste to have a regular customer die of a heart attack due to the fattiness of the food.
***** Especially when rules for cardiac arrest only exist in the form of a vile spell.

[Manly Man]

*I am not allowed to make a BBEG with an officer named Fegelein.

[Erik Vale]

******* I am not allowed to be an Evil Bard.

********I cannot play a Vogun Poetry Reader. Even though with certain PRC's bards can do sonic damage with perform attempts.

[Studoku]

I may not sing about being the very model of a modern cloistered cleric.

[Adoendithas]

I may not sing about being the very model of a modern cloistered cleric.

Nor can all my entrances involve singing "For I am the [class name here]!" ("S/He is! Hurrah for the [class name here]!") "And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a [class name here]!".

[Ksheep]

Nor can all my entrances involve singing "For I am the [class name here]!" ("S/He is! Hurrah for the [class name here]!") "And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a [class name here]!".

The Verbal component of Cat's Grace is not With Cat Like Tread, whether in whole or in part. Even if it IS the Bard casting it. ESPECIALLY if it is the Bard who is casting it.

[BlackestOfMages]

1) Just because my build focuses on breaking animals and riding them, I may not try to ride the villains.
2) Especially not if the villains is a druid
3) more so if he's still in gnome form

[Eulalios]

*** It might also have been better not to write a menu after the Farrow was chosen, causing one of the players to crave for the randomly created and probably horrible dessert "sweetened sour milk with ginger and dates".

Pretty sure I've eaten that, either Turkish or Moroccan. Not half bad, really.

[VariSami]

Pretty sure I've eaten that, either Turkish or Moroccan. Not half bad, really.
Well, I came up with it on the fly and I am also certain that I have not heard of its prior existence. Then again, I did try to make things which sound like they would go well together, and in all likelihood, some of them (like this, maybe) might actually work. The inspiration was a Finnish dessert based around sour milk and mixed berries, but I wanted to make it spicy and exotic.

[Psinoob]

Oh these are so funny. I only have three though.
*I am not allow to speak with any of the following :Quest givers, NPCs, Villains, Gods or Shopkeepers.
**I cannot name my Bard Two-Chainz.
*** my Cleric is not allowed to charge the party by the spell.

[Slipperychicken]

*I am not allowed to make a BBEG with an officer named Fegelein.

**Having the BBEG's minions wear brown shirts is right out.

[Wookieetank]

*Having a BBEG's entire squad of henchmen be from the same family is frowned upon.
**Particularly if they have the last name ********, or any variation thereof
***Using the above to make jokes about Major ********, and being surrounded by ********s is right out.
****If you're going to use media references, at least use the proper genre for the type of campaign being played.

[Arkhosia]

**Having the BBEG's minions wear brown shirts is right out.

*I may not use a stop time spell to put on all of the BBEG's minions red shirts.

[VariSami]

*Having a BBEG's entire squad of henchmen be from the same family is frowned upon.
**Particularly if they have the last name ********, or any variation thereof
***Using the above to make jokes about Major ********, and being surrounded by ********s is right out.
****If you're going to use media references, at least use the proper genre for the type of campaign being played.

* They should also not be chosen on basis of their first name.
** Especially if the name is "Steve"...
*** ...and you are playing a high-fantasy game.
** Also, even if your mind-controlling powers are only effective on people named that.
*** I may not force people to change their first names simply because this allows me to control their minds.

Also:
* I enforce a strict no hugs policy.

[Ksheep]

* The low-INT spell caster is no longer allowed to be the healbot
** Whoever taught the healbot the meaning of "cauterize" should be shot
*** Whoever allowed the healbot to learn Burning Hands should be drawn and quartered
**** No, Burning Hands is not a variant of Lay On Hands made specifically to cauterize wounds

[Grim Portent]

* I must tone down the Heresy
** Heresy is a bad thing, not a motivation
*** Trying to combine as many forms of heresy into one character will result in spontaneous arrival of the Inquisition
****No, you did not expect the Imperial Inquisition

[Prince Raven]

* I must tone down the Heresy
** Heresy is a bad thing, not a motivation
*** Trying to combine as many forms of heresy into one character will result in spontaneous arrival of the Inquisition
****No, you did not expect the Imperial Inquisition

**** Anyone that makes a joke about not expecting the Imperial Inquisition gains 1d4+1 Insanity
***** While it may be difficult to find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than Hive Desoleum, anyone who makes that joke gains d3 Insanity
****** Having high Insanity does not grant you permission to do whatever you want
******* Even if it seems to work for the Inquisitor

[Elricaltovilla]

* The mount spell summons a steed for me to ride. It does not allow me to ride the dwarf.

[Mekboy]

* I may not base Black Crusade characters on Cultist-Chan.
** I may not base Dark Heresy character on Cultist-Chan.
*** I may not base Pathfinder characters on Cultist-Chan.
**** I may not base characters on Cultist-Chan.
***** I may not base characters on ones invented by tg.

[Braininthejar2]

Not me, but a friend of a friend:

* Making 3 separate character sheets for my Malkavian vampire with multiple personality disorder only looks cool on paper.
** Picking one character sheet at random whenever a trigger stimulus happens during a game will ensure that I always have the least useful skillset for the job, annoying both other players and the GM. I should not do this.
*** This goes double if I have a mental disorder of any kind diagnosed in real life.
**** No more Malkavians for me

[Lord Raziere]

* My Free Council Obrimos shadow name, is not Kamina
** "Kamina" does not possess an enhanced katana
*** nor does he possess a drill as a focus for his spells
**** or orange pointed sunglasses as a focus for his sight based ones
***** his symbology does not revolve around Lord Genome and the Beastmen representing the Seers of the Throne, and the Anti-Spirals as Exarchs.
****** Spiral Power is not a metaphor for Supernal magic, and wielding it the first time does not represent Awakening
******* Even if the entire Consilium approves of TTGL.
******** screw it, no TTGL in Mage the Awakening, no matter how much it fits!

[JHShadon]

*Blows dust off thread*

*I am not allowed to become a Thrallherd just so I can say "Zombie guards, seize him!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7gEZcK_9VY)
**I am also not allowed to say "Tell me that's not fun to say" to the person that had just been seized.

[Rockphed]

*Blows dust off thread*

*I am not allowed to become a Thrallherd just so I can say "Zombie guards, seize him!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7gEZcK_9VY)
**I am also not allowed to say "Tell me that's not fun to say" to the person that had just been seized.

***I am not allowed to be surprised if my guards seize me when he repeats said phrase.

[Jurai]

* I may not cast Awaken Construct on a computer just to make it angry.
** George Washington crossed a river, not an angry computer.

[Wookieetank]

* I may not cast Awaken Construct on a computer just to make it angry.
** George Washington crossed a river, not an angry computer.

***When the awakened computer goes on to create skynet, I'm not to be surprised.
****Or allowed to complain, its my own fault really.

[Manly Man]

*I am not allowed to try and justify a half-black dragon black pudding.
**Nor am I allowed to name a half-silver dragon black pudding the Silver Slimer.

[Spore]

*Trap FINDING is a class feature, trap ACTIVATION however is not.
** My rogue is no longer allowed to touch ANYTHING suspicious.
*** I may not make fire based puns after the paladin has activated a flame strike trap
**** I may not point out that disabling the trap would've been easier with the all fingers still attached which were cut off for trying to steal treasure from the good dwarven city (while accidentally hospitalizing a minor).
***** "Oops." is not a smart defense in court.
****** Not getting offed for that deed grants an immensely thick plot armor.

[Ksheep]

* My non-rogue character is not allowed to ignore when traps go off an injure him
** Stating that he can't actually see the traps because he doesn't have the Trapfinding ability isn't a good defense
*** Especially after falling down a pitfall trap, getting sliced by a pendulum blade, being set ablaze by a fireball trap, or being crushed by a giant boulder.
**** While ignoring the trap is bad enough, ignoring the damage done is outright forbidden.

[Socratov]

*I may not argue with the DM that lacking trapfinding I cannot preceive traps, and thus disbelieve their existence.
**Disbelieving traps' existence does not make a difference in being affected by them.
***Even if you don't believe in traps, they beleive in you :smallamused::smallbiggrin::smallcool:

[Smorgonoffz]

* No matter how fun, i'm not allowed to trow Flaming gnomes inside an Hydra's mouth.

*i'm not allowed to use the mutilated but still living body of a PC to find traps.

*I'm not allowed as a DM to use a dire badger as an enemy.

*I'm not allowed to trow Gnome out of windows .

*I'm not allowed to be a torch bearer.

[Wookieetank]

*Honey Bagers are highly frowned upon
*Dire Honey Badgers are right out

[unseenmage]

* Contingent Animate Dead on the other characters will be frowned upon.
** Especially if applied without their knowledge.
*** Especially applied en masse and the townspeople got it too.

**** Contingent Animate Objects set to go off when the Undead created by the Contingent Animate Dead are slain again and their corpses become objects is wrong.

***** Adding Contingent Permanency for the Animate Objects is right out.

****** Contingent Template stacking will get books thrown.

******* No more Craft Contingent Spell for me.

[Adoendithas]

* Contingent Explosive Runes tattooed on my body set to become visible when I die is not Plan B.

[Jurai]

Casting Contingent Prestidigitation on the dwarf when he bends over to make it smell like farted himself is rude.

[Turalisj]

Not allowed to suggest orphans as a reusable fuel supply for the blood engine.

Or the homeless.

Not allowed to suggest keeping the homeless in a drug induced coma while slowly siphoning blood from them to fuel the blood engine.

[Wookieetank]

Not allowed to suggest orphans as a reusable fuel supply for the blood engine.

Or the homeless.

Not allowed to suggest keeping the homeless in a drug induced coma while slowly siphoning blood from them to fuel the blood engine.

Hosting blood drives for replenising fuel supplies is right out.

[Adoendithas]

***** Nobody is going to believe that the blood drive is for a good cause, as blood types haven't even been discovered in Greyhawk and as such transfusions are unheard of.

[Slipperychicken]

Not allowed to suggest orphans as a reusable fuel supply for the blood engine.

Or the homeless.

Not allowed to suggest keeping the homeless in a drug induced coma while slowly siphoning blood from them to fuel the blood engine.

**Prison inmate populations are iffy.

***Even if I pay the prisoners for it.

****Especially if I pay the warden for it.

[Graustein]

* The sorceress is not allowed to sing Defying Gravity every single time she casts Fly

** Not even if she has max ranks in Perform (Sing)

*** If she does it in the middle of combat she deserves whatever she gets

**** Roleplaying it is right out

[Baeraad]

* My players are adults, with all the demands on their time and scheduling difficulties that that entails. I shall be understanding of that fact when trying to arrange a play session. I shall not employ metaphores for the process referring to bounty hunting, dentistry or the herding of cattle.
** In relation to the last part, I shall remember that no matter how frustrated I get, a lasso is not an appropriate tool for getting a player to attend a session.
*** Nor is an electric cattle prod.
**** I shall not title an email requesting information of when everyone is available this month, "Filthy players, to me!"
***** Nor shall I, if the players are unable to squeze playing time into their schedules this month, exclaim, "Filthy players are weak!"

* I may not run any game that is described as being "gritty," "low-powered" or having "high lethality." My gleeful cries of "SQUIRM, LOWLY PLAYERS! SQUIRM FOR YOUR SURVIVAL!" are perceived as unnerving.

* If I feel that my players are spending overly long debating a decision in game without seeming to get any closer to a decision, I shall tell them so in a mature and reasonable manner. Threatening to send a horde of ninja zombies at them if they don't move their lazy asses is none of those things.

* If the players try to do something I consider very unlikely to work, it is my right and indeed my duty to assign them negative modifiers out the wazoo. However, having their efforts automatically fail on the grounds that, "I refuse to be in charge of a universe where something that bloody stupid could happen!" is not conducive to player enjoyment.

* No matter how annoyed I am with complaints about how "in real life" they would be able to do something and that my not letting them do it is "railroading," I will not start raining down random car crashes, earthquakes and cases of colon cancer on the players to demonstrate the merits of non-realism.
** Nor will I disallow all skill tests and just give everything a flat 5% chance of randomly working, another 5% chance of making everything worse, and 90% of having no noticeable effect at all.
*** Even if in my experience that's exactly how real life works.

[DigoDragon]

No longer allowed to add "Players who will show up on time for once to a game session" to my Amazon wishlist.

[Hyena]

* Gully dwarves and kenders do not exist outside of Dragonlance setting.
** We are not playing Dragonlance, ever.

[Wookieetank]

* Gully dwarves and kenders do not exist outside of Dragonlance setting.
** We are not playing Dragonlance, ever.

***A Planescape Campaign that ends up in a Dragonlance setting is right out.

[Deremir]

* Gully dwarves and kenders do not exist outside of Dragonlance setting.
** We are not playing Dragonlance, ever.

****Dont even think about homebrewing a kender

[unseenmage]

No longer allowed to add "Players who will show up on time for once to a game session" to my Amazon wishlist.


This. This made me genuinely laugh.
Thank you.

[Ksheep]

* If you really want to, you could play as a Ninja.
** Yeah, age doesn't really do much, so you could be 16 years old, why not?
*** Template stacking? OK, yeah, sure, you can do that
**** Wait, what's your base race again? Tortle? What's that?
***** You've made a teenage mutant ninja tortle, didn't you? Why?
****** HOW DID YOU CONVINCE THE REST OF THE PARTY TO DO LIKEWISE?!?!?
******* Alright, so you guys meet up with your were-rat mentor…

[Arkhosia]

*I may not play as a Ninja who multiclassed as a Cleric.
**Or a teenage sorcerer who dual-wields and rides a velociraptor.
***Benjamin Franklin is not the name of my undead commoner
****A time-traveling ex-duke is a no.
*****I may certainly not play a Evil Awakened horse warlord.
******GODAMNIT, YOU MAY NOT PLAY AN IRISH NINJA!

[unseenmage]

*I may not play as a Ninja who multiclassed as a Cleric.
**Or a teenage sorcerer who dual-wields and rides a velociraptor.
***Benjamin Franklin is not the name of my undead commoner
****A time-traveling ex-duke is a no.
*****I may certainly not play a Evil Awakened horse warlord.
******GODAMNIT, YOU MAY NOT PLAY AN IRISH NINJA!

******* Castle Ravenloft is not on the moon.

[ideasmith]

* While basing your backstory on a fairy tale is fine and dandy, the evil spellcaster's house was not made from gingerbread.

[Arkhosia]

******* Castle Ravenloft is not on the moon.

******** The Inverse Ninja Law does not give bonuses to attacks.

[Spore]

* Adjectives/nouns for describing the Warforged fighter as "heavy", "metal" or any variations of those adjectives are right out
** You do not continuously ask the warforged how much he weighs
*** No Appraise rolls on the money the mithril plating of your warforged could make you
**** Taunting a huge metal golem that crushed several trolls without taking a dent is right out. Doubly so if you are a poorly optimized skill monkey.
***** Being distrustful of your sentient war machine proves to be ironic when the last you did was steal something from its makers
****** Loudly demanding to face a rust monster at the table gives you the death stares from said warforged player


* Even if I just bought a new recording of Mozart's Requiem mass, that does not mean I can play the Dies Irae during a climactic battle. It freaks the players out too much.
** Same for Lacrimosa to make them feel uneasy.

That's weak, :smallwink:

[Grim Portent]

*I may not play a knight in a Black Crusade game when everyone else plays marines.
**The aforesaid knight may not ride a horse.
***Having horseriding minions is out.
****I am not Genghis Khan.
*****Nor am I an evil Sir Lancelot.

[Baeraad]

* If two of my players are a married couple, I may not have one of my NPCs flirt outrageously with the character of one of them.
** Even if she seems to be into it.
*** Especially if she seems to be into it.

* While having NPCs shouting out their attacks is somewhat acceptable in Exalted, the name of the high-level Dragon-Blooded Dodge Charm is Invincible Body of Fire Defence, not "PERFECT DEFENCE, SUCKERS! Yeah, that's right, you're not the only ones who have them!"

* If my BBEG is an Unseelie Sidhe named Roderick ap Balor, I am certainly free to have him cast Dictum to command the PCs to grovel at his feet. However, the Bunk may not consist of him bellowing, "KNEEL BEFORE ROD!"

* If a player does not want to use his cool superpowers, he is perfectly free not to do so. I shall not do things like arrange to have his character fall off a skyscraper to see if he remembers that he has flight powers before he hits the ground.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

* If two of my players are a married couple, I may not have one of my NPCs flirt outrageously with the character of one of them.
** Even if she seems to be into it.
*** Especially if she seems to be into it.

http://i.imgur.com/qWxMhYM.gif?1

*Flavoring attacks is a privilege, not a right.
**This privilege can be revoked if all your unarmed attacks, even the lethal ones, are limp-wristed slaps.
***This privilege WILL be revoked if all your unarmed attacks are pimp slaps.
****Under no circumstance when using an unarmed strike are you allowed to say something to the effect of: "Where's my money ho?"
*****I've told you before, I will tell you again. The concept of the pimp does not exist in this campaign, and that is not an invitation for you to invent it.

[Prince Raven]

http://i.imgur.com/qWxMhYM.gif?1

*Flavoring attacks is a privilege, not a right.
**This privilege can be revoked if all your unarmed attacks, even the lethal ones, are limp-wristed slaps.
***This privilege WILL be revoked if all your unarmed attacks are pimp slaps.
****Under no circumstance when using an unarmed strike are you allowed to say something to the effect of: "Where's my money ho?"
*****I've told you before, I will tell you again. The concept of the pimp does not exist in this campaign, and that is not an invitation for you to invent it.


******While unarmed strikes can technically be made with any part of your body, you may not beat your enemies to death with your prodigious bosom