Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

[DigoDragon]

This. This made me genuinely laugh.
Thank you.

Welcome!
My local friends were not quite as amused, but they're used to my sense of humor. :smallbiggrin:



http://i.imgur.com/qWxMhYM.gif?1

Steve is the greatest thing to happen to that gameshow.



******While unarmed strikes can technically be made with any part of your body, you may not beat your enemies to death with your prodigious bosom

My wife once called out such an attack just to get me to spittake. I did... through my nose. :smalltongue:



No longer allowed to crack a lewd joke at the GM while he's drinking malta.
You cannot gain so many negative levels that you screen wrap to a positive number.
No matter how hard you try, you can't intimidate anything with a sonic screwdriver... except maybe a cabinet.

[Deremir]

No matter how hard you try, you can't intimidate anything with a sonic screwdriver... except maybe a cabinet.
[/LIST]

it dosent do wood!

[Wookieetank]

*Backhanding as your primary form of unarmed attacks is also highly frowned upon.

[A Tad Insane]

******While unarmed strikes can technically be made with any part of your body, you may not beat your enemies to death with your prodigious bosom

'booty clapping' will get a tarrasque thrown at you

[Erik Vale]

?* Turkey slaps are similarly banned. Even if BoEF was allowed and it was allowed to happy the first time because it's funny.
?**Sure, you can have the X from BoEF.
?***Nope, BOEF is completely banned again. As are bards and paladins.

[DigoDragon]

it dosent do wood!

Shhh! The cabinet might not know that! :smallbiggrin:

[Hyena]

Guy, what's up with you and rape jokes? This is not the first time you are doing them. They are not funny.

[Rockphed]

* Dropping the players into Fawg, a world of intricate puzzles, will not make them less likely to try violence to solve their problems.
** If the only indication of life in Fawg is a mostly destroyed library with some books that talk back, my players will get suspicious.
*** If I then drop them into Cleft, a world that is falling apart and ruled by a crazed madman who is trying to resurrect a dead civilization, I should be prepared for them to join forces with said madman.

[Razgriez]

Some things I've seen with my (possibly former) gaming group:

* Polymorph Spells: No, just, no.
A player with a tendency to play Chaotic "Neutral" character had a bad habit of abusing, or getting into trouble with Polymorph type spells. Some highlights:

-Used Polymorph on a wizard to turn him into a catapillar, then stomp on him repeatedly, without fully IDing if he was a friend or foe.

-Altered self one time to turn self into a black dragon, and carried the party's albatross... errr, I mean DMPC/Walking Mcguffin Escortee to an Aquatic kingdom. The kingdom thought a dragon was attacking them. When the rest of the party arrived, she was being arrested. My self (a LG fighter) and a good aligned cleric tried to get her, and the DMPC out of trouble, and managed to get her off with mere community service, and the DMPC free. She didn't like that she wasn't outright declared not guilty of causing a public panic, and failing to declare intentions before entering the city's gates, took the DMPC, and teleported herself, and the kid (DMPC) out of there, while the rest of us stood there with our jaws dropped/facepalming. The court was not very happy about it, and outright banned her and the kid from returning. And we had to pass a lot of diplomacy checks to let that court know we did not approve of the actions either.

-Used Polymorph AGAIN, to sneak her self and the DMPC' back into the same kingdom. In Painfully obvious disguises. Nearly getting the rest of the party in trouble once more

-Used Baleful Polymorph on a demon that was attacking us along with it's buddies into innocent looking defenseless creatures. Why? Because as she said, the first goal was to make my LG character go absolutely apocalyptic with anger at being unable to kill the demon, due to obvious distaste with the idea of killing a defenseless creatures. Her second goal was the paper thin excuse of "giving the demon a second chance" (The DM actually bailed her out on this one, by latter revealing that many of the demons were actually elves that were changed the plane they had traveled to, suffered uncontrolled transformations into demonic like creatures by the entire plane being filled with Chaos.

**Not allowed to have secret sub-plots
***Definitely not allowed if these sub-plots happen to have vital information on the main quest, and the player refuses to divulge this vital info to the rest of the party
Another player had a bad habit of running secret sub plots, acting as a double agent between us, and occasionally enemy factions. Not only did this cause the usual problems, of taking up whole game sessions, where they went off on a solo mission, and the rest of the party wasn't allowed to hear it the details. The player would NEVER let us know what they were up to, let alone any vital information they found. Needless to say, after nearly selling out the party and getting it caught in an ambush. We fend it off, and the leader of this opposing faction, let us know that the party member in question was giving him information about us and our actions. Finally forced to spill the beans on what they were doing, the player said they did it to, because we'd disapprove and get upset with them. When we pointed out that NOT telling us what they were up to has landed them in the fire, instead of the frying pan, they claimed that we had just proved their point that we'd get upset. Don't you just love self-fulfilling prophecies?

[Sgt. Cookie]

*I cannot claim that my character gained his advanced tactical skills by hanging out with those kids from the Bangarang video.

[Adoendithas]

* My lazylord may not introduce himself with "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General."
** Nor my rogue with "Oh, Better Far to Live and Die."
*** Nor my fighter with "When the Foe-Man Bares his Steel."
**** Nor a villain with "A More Humane Mikado" or "I've Got a Little List."
***** You know what, no introductory songs.

[Ksheep]

* My lazylord may not introduce himself with "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General."
** Nor my rogue with "Oh, Better Far to Live and Die."
*** Nor my fighter with "When the Foe-Man Bares his Steel."
**** Nor a villain with "A More Humane Mikado" or "I've Got a Little List."
***** You know what, no introductory songs.

Shouldn't the rogue have "With Cat-Like Tread"?

[Sith_Happens]

Shouldn't the rogue have "With Cat-Like Tread"?

No, that's reserved for the Assassin (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=14525077&postcount=1442).

[Ionbound]

No, that's reserved for the Assassin (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=14525077&postcount=1442).

*Never speaking a word also applies to singing.

[Arkhosia]

*I may not play a female scythe-wielding avenger convince the other 3 players to play a female rapier-wielding ice sorcerer, a razorclaw shifter rogue with a crossbow/sword/whip, and a female barbarian multiclassed to wizard to gain Burning Hands.
**Nor a team of a cronomancer with a screwdriver, a rogue/cronomancer, a swashbuckler/cronomancer, and a female human.
***Definitely not a mute fighter with a crossbow, a rogue with a hand crossbow skilled at lockpicking, a warlord with a crossbow, and a fighter with the alchemist feat and a love for kukri knives.
****Nor a warforged fire sorcerer, a warforged water sorcerer, a warforged air sorcerer, a warforged stone sorcerer, a warforged earth sorcerer, and a warforged ice sorcerer.

[Hyena]

Is it a reference to some obscure anime?

[Arkhosia]

Is it a reference to some obscure anime?

Which one?

[Bakeru]

*I may not play a female scythe-wielding avenger convince the other 3 players to play a female rapier-wielding ice sorcerer, a razorclaw shifter rogue with a crossbow/sword/whip, and a female barbarian multiclassed to wizard to gain Burning Hands.
**Nor a team of a cronomancer with a screwdriver, a rogue/cronomancer, a swashbuckler/cronomancer, and a female human.
***Definitely not a mute fighter with a crossbow, a rogue with a hand crossbow skilled at lockpicking, a warlord with a crossbow, and a fighter with the alchemist feat and a love for kukri knives.
****Nor a warforged fire sorcerer, a warforged water sorcerer, a warforged air sorcerer, a warforged stone sorcerer, a warforged earth sorcerer, and a warforged ice sorcerer.I recognise the first one as RWBY (Or think that's what it is), I'm very positive the second one is Dr. Who (But who's the rogue/cronomancer and the swashbuckler/cronomancer?), and I have no idea what the others are.

[Arkhosia]

I recognise the first one as RWBY (Or think that's what it is), I'm very positive the second one is Dr. Who (But who's the rogue/cronomancer and the swashbuckler/cronomancer?), and I have no idea what the others are.

River song and Jack harkness.
Noble team (halo)
Bionicles

[Bakeru]

Oh, right. Thought Jack might be one of them, but forgot about River. (And I never played Halo, and only zapped through Bionicles)

[Spore]

* I am no longer allowed to declare the possessions of an Merchant as 'evidence'.
** Telling him: 'You are the number 1 murder suspect.' will not calm his mood.
*** Trying to keep 10% of his gold anyway just to have something out of that situation just lets your chances drop even more.

[Ksheep]

* Bards do not get Knowledge (Metagame)
* Bardic Knowledge does not allow the character to find a relevant trope and determine what is going off based on that
* No, there is no Bard spell called "Summon Deus Ex Machina"
* The Bard cannot start singing "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" as soon as a TPK seems imminent…

[Slipperychicken]

* The sorceress is not allowed to sing Defying Gravity every single time she casts Fly

** Not even if she has max ranks in Perform (Sing)

*** If she does it in the middle of combat she deserves whatever she gets

**** Roleplaying it is right out

*The lyrics to Thunderhorse (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuphOxBX8YI) are not the verbal component for Phantom Steed.

**Even if the casting time is 10 minutes.

***My Sublime Chord bard may not use Awaken (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BubiZAIWHgU) as the performance component for Planar Binding.

[Baroncognito]

a rogue with a hand crossbow skilled at lockpicking.

Where would you even get a hand crossbow skilled at lock-picking?

[Arkhosia]

Where would you even get a hand crossbow skilled at lock-picking?

Easy: you strap two awakened mice together head-first, put them on the butt of an awakened cat trained in lockpicking, and use the mice's tails as the string.
We call them Awakened Crossbows. :smalltongue:

[Adoendithas]

* Bards do not get Knowledge (Metagame)
* Bardic Knowledge does not allow the character to find a relevant trope and determine what is going off based on that
* No, there is no Bard spell called "Summon Deus Ex Machina"
* The Bard cannot start singing "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" as soon as a TPK seems imminent…

* Leading a quest to discover the fabled artifact called the Fourth Wall will result in personal injury.

[Wookieetank]

*Even in modern/cyberpunk settings where guitars are available, I'm not allowed to use "Through the Fire and Flames" as the verbal component for any fire based spells.

[Sith_Happens]

*Even in modern/cyberpunk settings where guitars are available, I'm not allowed to use "Through the Fire and Flames" as the verbal component for any fire based spells.

** "City" by Hollywood Undead is right out.

[Joe the Rat]

My wife once called out such an attack just to get me to spittake. I did... through my nose. :smalltongue:


No longer allowed to crack a lewd joke at the GM while he's drinking malta.


** Cracking jokes to get other players to spit take is discouraged
*** I don't care if you are working on your comic timing, you may not say anything while someone else is drinking.
**** No bonus points for "Oooo... a noser"

And from the current table...
* Don't challenge the wizard's player to sing the infodump notes. He'll do it. In the style of your choosing.
** Suggesting multiple personalities based on accent is just getting silly.
*** ...And there's the the Lizardman with death breath and a penchant for Enlargement magic.
**** Stop giving the DM ideas, or he'll derail his own plot.
***** Stop giving the DM sugar, or he'll derail his own plot.

[Ksheep]

* My artificer may not make a helmet with slots for a pair of potions on the side and swirly straws in order to easily consume potions mid-fight
** Nor may be make a potion IV drip
*** Potions in slow-release capsule form are also disallowed

[Slipperychicken]

* My artificer may not make a helmet with slots for a pair of potions on the side and swirly straws in order to easily consume potions mid-fight


**We do not talk about the beer potion hat from Dragon Magazine.

[Doorhandle]

*You cannot snort a potion.
*Snorting the residuum dust form a disenchanted magic item won'tgive you it's powers.
*Snorting the dust of a lich will only lead to terrible things.

[TuggyNE]

*Snorting the dust of a lich will only lead to terrible things.

** That's why it's listed as a poison.
*** I don't care if you're immune to poison, you don't get anything fun out of it.
**** OK fine, your character is now addicted to lich dust … from druids who were also fallen paladins.

[Turalisj]

Neither druids nor paladins have the ability to become a lich without multiclassing.

[Rockphed]

Neither druids nor paladins have the ability to become a lich without multiclassing.

I'm pretty sure in 3.5 druids had the requisite caster levels and could take the item creation feat. There might be a problem with a druid turning into a mockery of life to prolong their existence, but the SRD doesn't list any rules for turning into a lich besides being able to create the phylactery.

A paladin, on the other hand, cannot get the caster level to create the phylactery until level 22 without some form of caster level booster. I am fairly certain that making the phylactery would cause a paladin to fall. Too bad blackguard does not give caster level bonuses to ex-paladins.

[TuggyNE]

Neither druids nor paladins have the ability to become a lich without multiclassing.

The point was how ridiculously rare it would have to be. A former LG turned LN turned LE Paladin/Druid Lich? Absurd, not least because both paladins and druids are firmly opposed to undeath in nearly all cases. But technically possible.

And, of course, dust from such liches would be quite hard to come by.

[unseenmage]

* No longer allowed to wonder where specialized versions of certain poisons come from.

[Elkreeal]

* The party is no longer allowed to mess with the city guard and insult them for running away from golems invading a city, leaving us to save it.
** We are not to attack the city guards and guard captain once they come back lying about actually being them who saved the city.
*** I am not to dominate the guard captain into charging the leader of the city when said leader comes to break up the fight after being hidden for the duration of this endeavor.
**** I am no to offer to take his place and become city guard captain.
***** I am not to disband said city guard and leave during the night time.
****** Good times

[Wookieetank]

* I may not use my new found lichdom to create a cartel for distributing lich dust.
** Particularly if one of the party members is already addicted to it.

[unseenmage]

* No more disregarding my finals to play D&D PbP.
** Dungeons will no longer be multiple choice.
*** Treasure vaults sealed by magic and only openable by 3-4 page essays are right out.
**** Knowledge checks will not be subject to peer review.

***** Seriously though, not allowed to DM again until I get all this real world book learnin' out of my system and finish my finals.

[McDouggal]

*I may not wield a ballista in one hand, even though my Rogues strength is high enough to do so.
**I may not make sneak attacks with a handheld ballista.
***You do not even have a bag of holding, how is your halfling Rogue carrying 50 pieces of ballista ammunition.
****I don't care that you rolled a natural 20, you're walking right in front of the guards while you're carrying a ballista in broad daylight without any concealing magic.
*****NO YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE SNEAK ATTACKS WITH THE BALLISTA.
******I am no longer allowed to play in any setting where siege weapons have been developed.

*I am no longer allowed to make fighters.
**I am no longer allowed to play wizards.
***I am no longer allowed to write my own character sheets.
****if you didn't want me to be at all effective, you could've told me.
*****No helping other people make their characters.
****** I am not allowed to have the ritual caster feat. (DM got annoyed because we could often avoid his plot mcguffins due to smart use of rituals.)

As a DM:
*Not allowed to be annoyed when the Rogue and Ranger kill the BBEG before he can attack.
**I have been informed that the Tomb of Horrors is, in fact, NOT right below the BBEG's lair.
***The floor is not a magic pittrap.

[Ksheep]

* When the Paladin finds a mysterious liquid in a vial, the proper response is to find an alchemist to determine what it is
** When the alchemist informs the Paladin that it is a poison, the proper response is NOT to sell it to the alchemist
*** When tithing 10% of the proceeds of the sale to the temple, I should not be surprised when the High Priest asks where I got the money from
**** I likewise shouldn't be surprised when he orders me to fetch the poison and destroy it
***** I should not be surprised when I have to buy the poison back at a loss
****** When asked how I go about destroying it, my response should not be "I dunno, throw it down the town well."

[Scow2]

What's wrong with selling it to the alchemist? He's probably skilled enough to turn it into multiple antitoxins, or selling it to someone who can use it responsibly.

[Ksheep]

What's wrong with selling it to the alchemist? He's probably skilled enough to turn it into multiple antitoxins, or selling it to someone who can use it responsibly.

How would you ensure that the alchemist would do that, though? Sure, you can use Detect Evil, but that would only ensure he's less likely to use it himself. If he's Neutral, he probably wouldn't care who he sold it to (especially if he's Chaotic Neutral), and even being Chaotic Good would mean he'd not necessarily follow any conditions the paladin places on the sale. The paladin cannot fully vouch for the alchemist, and the alchemist likewise cannot fully vouch for anyone who he sells it to. The only safe way would be to destroy it, and the alchemist wouldn't have paid large sums of money if he simply planned to destroy it (he obviously saw a profit in it, and that profit was likely via selling it to the highest bidder).

[Adoendithas]

* I don't care if it would be awesome, the campaign plot cannot be blatant plagiarism of Tolkien.

The players were not fans of the "Battle of Six Armies".

[Arkhosia]

* I don't care if it would be awesome, the campaign plot cannot be blatant plagiarism of Tolkien.

The players were not fans of the "Battle of Six Armies".

*The Battle of Eight Armies may not be a skirmish between 8 drow factions.

**The Battle of Nine Armies may not involve disagreeing pseudo-Germans.

***The Battle of 12 Armies is not warfare between chronomancers over a blue box.

****I will be banned if The Battle of 1,006,765,245 Armies is ever in my plot.

[Ionbound]

*Not allowed to solve an evil twin puzzle by killing them both

**Knocking both unconscious also is disallowed

***Capturing both and torturing them until you determine which one is evil will cause instant alignment shift

[TuggyNE]

*The Battle of Eight Armies may not be a skirmish between 8 drow factions.

**The Battle of Nine Armies may not involve disagreeing pseudo-Germans.

***The Battle of 12 Armies is not warfare between chronomancers over a blue box.

I see what you did with these. :smallbiggrin: Eight-limbed arachnids, the German word for negation, and Doctor Who respectively, no?


****I will be banned if The Battle of 1,006,765,245 Armies is ever in my plot.

Now this, I don't get.


***Capturing both and torturing them until you determine which one is evil will cause instant alignment shift

No, firedaemon33, you are the evil twin. :smalltongue:

[Arkhosia]

I see what you did with these. :smallbiggrin: Eight-limbed arachnids, the German word for negation, and Doctor Who respectively, no?



Now this, I don't get.



No, firedaemon33, you are the evil twin. :smalltongue:

Because imagine how many people would be in that battle. A whole round would take hours.

[TechnoWarforged]

*When encountering a Monkey Swarm, the first reaction should be self preservation, and not trying to stuff said monkeys inside a sack.

** doing animal experiments with the monkeys you captured in your sack is generally frown upon.

*** While sedating the rest of the monkey swarm with drug-laced bananas does count in overcoming the encounter, that option should be only be used as a last resort.

**** Continiously feeding drugs to those monkeys so they develope dependencies should slide you towards the slippery slope of Chaotic Evil.

***** Also, do not expect the rest of your party member to ever eat anything you cook ever again.

[unseenmage]

*When encountering a Monkey Swarm, the first reaction should be self preservation, and not trying to stuff said monkeys inside a sack.

** doing animal experiments with the monkeys you captured in your sack is generally frown upon.

*** While sedating the rest of the monkey swarm with drug-laced bananas does count in overcoming the encounter, that option should be only be used as a last resort.

**** Continiously feeding drugs to those monkeys so they develope dependencies should slide you towards the slippery slope of Chaotic Evil.

***** Also, do not expect the rest of your party member to ever eat anything you cook ever again.

****** This all goes double for Flying Monkey Swarms.

[illyahr]

*When encountering a Monkey Swarm, the first reaction should be self preservation, and not trying to stuff said monkeys inside a sack.

**Nor should it be to stuff it into a barrel.

[GPuzzle]

*No longer allowed to create Dubstep using magic to start a rebellion.
**No longer allowed to charm the group's warlock to create Dubstep from his Infernal Pact so I can start a rebellion.
***No longer allowed to multiclass to warlock as a bard so I can sell a part of my soul to create Dubstep so I can start a rebellion.

[Socratov]

*No longer allowed to create Dubstep using magic to start a rebellion.
**No longer allowed to charm the group's warlock to create Dubstep from his Infernal Pact so I can start a rebellion.
***No longer allowed to multiclass to warlock as a bard so I can sell a part of my soul to create Dubstep so I can start a rebellion.

of course not, there are much easier ways to start rebellions...

[MonochromeTiger]

of course not, there are much easier ways to start rebellions...

better sounding ways too..

*no longer allowed to turn important characters into squirrels and throw them into a wolf's den.
**nor am I to have the bard play chase music while said character flees from their toothy doom.
***also not allowed to undo a similar spell after a medium sized animal has swallowed the character to see if they explode.

[Spore]

*When encountering a Monkey Swarm, the first reaction should be self preservation, and not trying to stuff said monkeys inside a sack.

** doing animal experiments with the monkeys you captured in your sack is generally frown upon.

*** While sedating the rest of the monkey swarm with drug-laced bananas does count in overcoming the encounter, that option should be only be used as a last resort.

**** Continiously feeding drugs to those monkeys so they develope dependencies should slide you towards the slippery slope of Chaotic Evil.

***** Also, do not expect the rest of your party member to ever eat anything you cook ever again.

Instant character idea for evil alchemist spawned: I will give him a horribly warped, poisonous and rabid "test subject" as animal companion. I am starting to ponder if you can recreate the effects of super hero movie radioactivity in D&D....

[MonochromeTiger]

Instant character idea for evil alchemist spawned: I will give him a horribly warped, poisonous and rabid "test subject" as animal companion. I am starting to ponder if you can recreate the effects of super hero movie radioactivity in D&D....

of course you can. if you're bitten by a radioactive werewolf you might become a werewolf...and get radiation poisoning.

[Drachasor]

Because imagine how many people would be in that battle. A whole round would take hours.

Centuries quite easily. If each side's turn was just 6 seconds, one round would still take over 68 years.

[Slipperychicken]

Centuries quite easily. If each side's turn was just 6 seconds, one round would still take over 68 years.

Wouldn't you just use Heroes of Battle rules for resolving mass combats? That should cut the total time down somewhat.

[Drachasor]

Wouldn't you just use Heroes of Battle rules for resolving mass combats? That should cut the total time down somewhat.

This was a war with over a billion sides. I was calculating based on 6 seconds per SIDE (a ridiculously small number).

[Slipperychicken]

This was a war with over a billion sides. I was calculating based on 6 seconds per SIDE (a ridiculously small number).

I meant cutting the total time down from what you said, which was along the lines of "68 years per combat round, for an entire billion-army battle", which I guess would total to be many thousands, if not millions of years (14 rounds of such combat would be 1020 years). Real-life nations would rise and fall in the time it took that battle to resolve. (EDIT: Taking any significant level of abstraction for such a combat would surely shave many years off the time it takes to resolve it).


Of course, no-one specified the size of each army, or its composition, so it might have been a billion 1-man armies of bomb-laden commoners beginning the battle crowded up next to one another. In that case, it would go (comparatively) quickly.

[Sith_Happens]

* I may not create a demiplane made entirely of high explosives, poison, flammable liquids, or any other remotely hazardous material.
** My solution to every problem cannot be "Open a Gate to the Demiplane of C4."

[Arkhosia]

* I may not create a demiplane made entirely of high explosives, poison, flammable liquids, or any other remotely hazardous material.
** My solution to every problem cannot be "Open a Gate to the Demiplane of C4."

*** The Demiplane of C4 is not ruled by Lord Adam and Lord Jamie.

**** Nor do their subjects shave their eyebrows.

*We do not choose the team leader via Brick Tag (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S7C4ZcqeQkI/AAAAAAAACcQ/b6GxRvsMRjc/s400/bricktagb.png)

[Ghost Nappa]

*When I get banned from playing period, this doesn't mean come over to other people's houses uninvited and whisper ideas into the ears of the players who are attending
** Unless I bring Pizza.
*** Anchovy pizza isn't good enough.
**** Half-Anchovy, Half-Pepperoni is debatable.
***** Not allowed to try to bribe myself in with frozen pizza with dead fish on it.
****** Not allowed to complain about having to be thrown out of the building after destroying the table on purpose

[unseenmage]

* Being a Gestalt Cleric doesn't license my Artificer to cheese Diplomacy to make my Constructs follow my god.
** Especially when there are several billion of them.
*** Doubly so when my god sends me a dream vision to stop giving him billions of soulless worshipers.

**** Even if I could technically conquer his plane of existence and change his mind manually using said billions of Constructs.

***** The deity is allowed to perma-ban me from existence for turning billions of soulless constructs into real boys with real souls that worship him thereby unbalancing the entire cosmology and pantheon.

****** No I'm not allowed to have a Contingency for just that situation.
******* Even if I do have one.
******** Especially if I have several and lied about only having the one.
********* Producing a notarized list of Contingencies dated before actual gameplay is way way too weird.

[Slipperychicken]

* I may not create a demiplane made entirely of high explosives, poison, flammable liquids, or any other remotely hazardous material.
** My solution to every problem cannot be "Open a Gate to the Demiplane of C4."

***Demiplanes of antimatter are right out.

[Adoendithas]

***Demiplanes of antimatter are right out.
**** Even if there are Planes of Energy in the SRD, you cannot set up a generator to send electricity back to the Material Plane.

[unseenmage]

**** Even if there are Planes of Energy in the SRD, you cannot set up a generator to send electricity back to the Material Plane.

***** Even if Planar Ring Gates would do the trick quite nicely, and if by RAW electricity is weightless.

[Arkhosia]

***** Even if Planar Ring Gates would do the trick quite nicely, and if by RAW electricity is weightless.

****** The BBEG's plan is not to activate aligned planar ring gates that will destroy all life in existence.

[unseenmage]

****** The BBEG's plan is not to activate aligned planar ring gates that will destroy all life in existence.

******* Said BBEG's plan will most certainly have absolutely nothing to do with using Planar Ring Gates to disintegrate all matter in existence via infinite energy damage.

[Arkhosia]

******* Said BBEG's plan will most certainly have absolutely nothing to do with using Planar Ring Gates to disintegrate all matter in existence via infinite energy damage.

******** The BBEG does believe the rings should be activated to complete the "Great Journey"
********* Said rings don't have zombies on them

[Erik Vale]

********** Said BBEG Can't be opening to a plane of positive energy and claim he's performing a good act.

[GPuzzle]

*No longer allowed to reference Doctor Who, Neon Genesis Evangelion or The Order of the Stick.
**No longer allowed to reference Sherlock, FLCL or Crit Juice.
***No longer allowed to reference BBC series, anime or anything D&D-related.
****No longer allowed to reference ANYTHING unless the DM allows me to.

*I do not have an evil twin brother whose name is my name backwards.
**Puns do not give me combat advantage.
***I may not date the rogue, even if the player is my girlfriend IRL.
****No longer allowed to play Bard.

*I am not "Old Man Something" in any setting.

*I will not bring up the time we were TPK'd by a Gelatinous Cube.

*Noodle Incidents do not involve Chinese food.

*Milk does not count as beer - you can't get drunk on it.

[Adoendithas]

* Even if I only have one song for solo brass instrument on my iPod, the Horn of Gondor ersatz does NOT play Purcell.

[FlyingScanian]

* Even if I only have one song for solo brass instrument on my iPod, the Horn of Gondor ersatz does NOT play Purcell.

** Nor Eye of the Tiger (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFB95v-XbwI)

[Slipperychicken]

*Harry Potter-style wizards do not exist in Shadowrun
**Our next run is not to infiltrate Hogwarts.
***Even if it is a school for magicians.
****In a castle.

*Making the GM rip his own hair out is not cause for an "achievement unlocked".

[Wookieetank]

*Making the GM rip his own hair out is not cause for an "achievement unlocked".

**Causing the DM to experience a BSOD, while hilarious, is sternly frowned upon.

[GPuzzle]

** Nor Eye of the Tiger (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFB95v-XbwI)
***We Are The Champions is out of question too.
****And so is Born To Be Wild.
*****And I Can't Get No (Satisfaction).

[Spore]

* "Challenge accepted (http://fatguywithglasses.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/challenge_accepted.png)" is no longer a valid response to accept a quest.
** Even if "By fire be purged." is a cheesy one-liner from NPCs, you may not dish out every one-liner in movie history ever as free action during your turn.
*** Quadruply so if the whole party does this.
**** Your vigilante adventurer guild may not be called: "Orden des Stocks"

Grüße an die deutschen Riesen!

[unseenmage]

***We Are The Champions is out of question too.
****And so is Born To Be Wild.
*****And I Can't Get No (Satisfaction).

****** Great Balls of Fire is only acceptable during the short time before Twinned Repeat Spell Maximized Fireballs become tiresome.

[Adoendithas]

* I can no longer trust in Probability to defeat the PC's schemes.

A quickling threw a dagger, then moved. One of the players noted that the arc would, if he missed, land the dagger near his new location. I said it would only come close if he crit missed. He crit missed. Then I said I would need to roll the same number on a few d20s for it to actually hit him. They all came up 12. What are the odds?!

[Afool]

How many dice did you roll?

[GPuzzle]

*No gods from the Cthulhu Mythos is stealing your socks.

*Keith Moon is completely out of question on anything.

[ElenionAncalima]

*No matter how high her spellcraft is, nor how much time and money we are willing invest, our party crafter may not create a wonderous item with infinite uses of Wish.

[Ionbound]

*I may not use Prestidigation to burn out a prisoner's eyeballs.

[Slipperychicken]

*I may not use Prestidigation to burn out a prisoner's eyeballs.

**Especially if Prestidigitation (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/prestidigitation.htm) can't actually do that.


Prestidigitations are minor tricks that novice spellcasters use for practice. Once cast, a prestidigitation spell enables you to perform simple magical effects for 1 hour. The effects are minor and have severe limitations. A prestidigitation can slowly lift 1 pound of material. It can color, clean, or soil items in a 1-foot cube each round. It can chill, warm, or flavor 1 pound of nonliving material. It cannot deal damage or affect the concentration of spellcasters. Prestidigitation can create small objects, but they look crude and artificial. The materials created by a prestidigitation spell are extremely fragile, and they cannot be used as tools, weapons, or spell components. Finally, a prestidigitation lacks the power to duplicate any other spell effects. Any actual change to an object (beyond just moving, cleaning, or soiling it) persists only 1 hour.

[Ksheep]

**Especially if Prestidigitation (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/prestidigitation.htm) can't actually do that.


*** Not allowed to point out that one could simply soil the inside of the prisoners eyes
**** Especially if I point out that I technically have Line of Sight with the inside of the eyeball.

[Jay R]

*I may no longer quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail at the table.
** No really, stop it right now.
*** Not the TV show either.
**** I did not come here for an argument.
***** The DM does not care if it's playing my character.
****** My character cannot be based on any Monty Python sketch.
******* I'm not a lumberjack, and I'm not OK.

[Slipperychicken]

******* I'm not a lumberjack, and I'm not OK.

********Damn it, Jim GM, I'm a doctor Cleric, not a lumberjack!

[eulmanis12]

*under no circumstances am I to invent firearms in a medeval setting
**No not even if I play a dwarf
***No Not even if I play an engineer
****No Especialy not if my name is Deonardo La'Vinci
*****Yes everyone with half a brain can figure out what I'm trying to pull
******I am not aloud to make characters that are thinly veiled references to historical figures, unless I am the DM
*******Even then I must do more to disguise it than switiching the first letters of their first and last names
********Especialy if I'm ripping off a historical (or fictional) character who's first and last names start with the same letter
*********I am no longer permitted tor run games with these NPC's
Peorge Gatton
Sillium Wakespear
Dad Vracule
Bederick Farbarossa
Priberty Lime
Ready Toosevelt
Varth Dader
Chinston Wurchill
Parco Molo
***********And never again is a game I run to include Cabbot and Aostello

[Arkhosia]

*I am not allowed to name my warforged wizard "Liberty Prime".
**His life goal is not to "destroy the commies!"

[Sith_Happens]

*I am not allowed to name my warforged wizard "Liberty Prime".
**His life goal is not to "destroy the commies!"

** Friendship with him is not mandatory.

[GPuzzle]

*If I'm playing a Warforged, my archnemesis cannot be "Dr. Wily".

*Shamans do not hear too much Bob Marley.
**Nor do Druids.

*I cannot climb up a rope with my insane ranks in Acrobatics and Athletics to the top of the tower, bring the princess back to ground level with all of her belongings and use Wisdom to know where should I hit so that the entire tower will collapse.

[unseenmage]

* Under the 'Character goals' section of my sheet I cannot simply write, "I see dead people."

** Even if I am supposed to be playing an assassin.

*** Especially if I'm the DM.

[DigoDragon]

*If I'm playing a Warforged, my archnemesis cannot be "Dr. Wily".


Warforged Bards may no longer have a chest compartment to store miniature warforged pets.
You may not speak warforged dialog through a cardboard tube.
"Wubs" is not a recognized damage type in D&D.

[Sith_Happens]

* The command word to de-Glamer my armor is not "Life fiber synchronize."
** Glamered and Gloryborn no longer mix.

[unseenmage]

* Cheesey rules interactions are not "life hacks" for my character. They're just hacks.

[Slipperychicken]

* Cheesey rules interactions are not "life hacks" for my character. They're just hacks.

**I may not create a website detailing these "life hacks" in an effort to improve people's lives.

***Selling these secrets to military organizations is not much better.

[GPuzzle]

*The theme song of the party can never, ever, EVER be "Band on the Run".

*If my character's goals involve any references to Doctor Who, the song "Rael" from The Who or the words "Kill Phil, sorry Phil", rocks fall, he dies.

*Wizards don't know how to play pinball automatically.
**If I multiclass to Wizard and become blind, deaf and mute, my character still can't play pinball.
***Especially if I call him Thomas Walker.

[Scow2]

*under no circumstances am I to invent firearms in a medeval setting
**Pointing out that firearms were invented long before plate armors will not help my case, either. This is a Swords+Sorcery setting, not Medieval one.

[Slipperychicken]

**Pointing out that firearms were invented long before plate armors will not help my case, either. This is a Swords+Sorcery setting, not Medieval one.

***Making the PCs' invention a Fire Lance (from Pathfinder (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/weapons/weapon-descriptions/fire-lance)) in response to this argument, while historically accurate, is not very sporting.

[Adoendithas]

**Pointing out that firearms were invented long before plate armors will not help my case, either. This is a Swords+Sorcery setting, not Medieval one.
*** If I find sources of sulfur, carbon, and saltpeter in the DM's world, my character can NOT "just happen" to combine them in exactly the right ratio to make gunpowder.

[Esprit15]

DnD
* No Thri-Kreens. Highly intelligent ones doubly so.

* Second standard actions are a privilege, not a right. And I just lost that privilege.

General
* May not use Yuyuko Saigyouji as inspiration for a character's personality. Not even if the game is a comedy.

* May not use Reiuji Utsuho as inspiration for a character in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.

** No Touhou inspired characters at all.

*** Fine, maybe in M&M.

**** Nevermind.

PTA
* My DR may not ever exceed my level.

** Should I do so, being the team damage dealer is strictly prohibited.

*** I may only play a Psychic or an Ace every other game, and I may never multiclass as a Psychic/Ace.

**** Don't even touch Professor.

* Don't kill kids.

** If you do, don't expect mercy from your employer unless it was part of the job.

* Faking unconsciousness during a riot that is being broken up by almost non-lethal gas is a bad idea.

* Warn the team's engineer that Registeel will rip his arm off if it means getting metal.

[Thomas Hunter]

*When making a 10th level Jedi for a canned adventure, I may not be a species that has six arms (even though only three are usable in combat).
**He may not dual-wield double lightsabers.
***The double lightsabers in question may not have a crit range of 15-20.
****I may not then take a prestige class that, among other things, allows me to use a full-round action to double my crit range.

[Socratov]

*I may not suggest a bard being the answer to all optimisation questions.
**Even if, when built right, they can do anything you wish for in a party
***Yes, Bards are awesome, now pick something else for Odin's sake!
*neither may I suggest Samurai
*"A Wizard did it" is not a valid excuse for bringing a TO monstrosity to the table
*I may not let this thread fall beyond the 1st page. It's way to awesome for that

[Slipperychicken]

* Don't kill kids.

**Especially not if he's a 10 year old rookie who can't even get his Pikachu into a pokeball.

[unseenmage]

* No I may not have hundreds of thousands of Construct minions.
** I'm not allowed to have anything ever that is calculated in millions.
*** I'm not allowed to have anything ever that is calculated in billions.
**** Numbers so large they cannot be a conceivable volume for our or several universes are right out.

[Arkhosia]

*The main villains of my game are not man-eating giants
**The campaign does not revolve around fighting said giants and stopping them from breaching a massively walled city.
***The classes allowed may be only ranger and druid, but only if a druid cannot transform into a giant.

[Ionbound]

*They definitely AREN'T Giants

**People who's giant-hood is undefined are certainly not allowed to play Bard

***You cannot have a Cohort who's name is John if your name is also John

[Spore]

* Taking levels in Paladin on my Halfling may not relate me to the BG 2 character Mazzy Fentan
** If choosing a Philosophy for my Halfling Paladin I may not choose FOOD
*** You cannot change your mount to a Wolverine even though his name in German literally means "Manyeater" (Vielfraß).
**** Phallic innuendos with my magical lance are not appropriate when women are at the table
***** Phallic innuendos with my magical lance are even weirder when said wife is missing.
****** The in character gay cleric may not be frowned upon when he picks up on tries "to hit on him"

[Adoendithas]

*The main villains of my game are not man-eating giants
**The campaign does not revolve around fighting said giants and stopping them from breaching a massively walled city.
***The classes allowed may be only ranger and druid, but only if a druid cannot transform into a giant.
What is this a reference to?

[Arkhosia]

What is this a reference to?

Attack on Titan.

[unseenmage]

Attack on Titan.

And here I thought it might be Jack the Giant Slayer. (Which I havn't seen yet being a Netflix user cheapskate.)

[Arkhosia]

And here I thought it might be Jack the Giant Slayer. (Which I havn't seen yet being a Netflix user cheapskate.)

Jack turns into a giant? :smalltongue:

[GPuzzle]

* No canyon shall be named Blood Gulch.
** I can't ask the Bard if he has ever wondered why we're here.

* If we play sci-fi campaign again, I shall not have, in any circunstances:
- A time machine
- A tool that works on anything but wood
- Anything related to companions
- Be able to regenerate myself
- And I cannot look like: William Hartnel, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davidson, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, John Hurt, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith or Peter Capaldi.
** If I ever manage to make the group think that playing anything Doctor Who related is a good thing, rocks fall, everyone dies.

* Sand worms do not exist.
** Melange doesn't exist too.

* If the group decideds that I'll be the GM in a Cthulhu campaign, I cannot say anything that will make the characters and the players lose sanity.
** If I recreate the Elmer Fudd and Daffy scene from Old Man Henderson's story, I am never going to play RPG with the group again.

* If anyone else claims that the GM is being more restrictive than the Spanish Inquisition, I will not recreate that Monty Phyton sketch.
** My character can't have self-defense against fresh fruit, be addicted to spam, have a dead parrot or go to a place to pay for a discussion for 15 minutes.
*** Scratch that, if I ever mention Monty Phyton again, rocks fall, I die.

[Arkhosia]

* No canyon shall be named Blood Gulch.
** I can't ask the Bard if he has ever wondered why we're here .


*** The Pink Fighter's armor is not Lightish Red
**** The Warlord does not have 9000+ strength.

[vasharanpaladin]

* Sand worms do not exist.
** Melange doesn't exist too.


***No, wait, melange does exist, just not that definition.

[Jurai]

*I may not make an all-terrain vehicle.
*I may not name it after swine animals.
*Or feline ones.
*I am not allowed to name it.

[eulmanis12]

*Just because the players in my game don't get out much (and as such probably won't get the references), this does not mean that I can blatantly rip off characters from popular movies/tv shows
** If the situation ever again arises where Captain Jack Harkness, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Jack Daniels all are located in the same room I will immediatly lose my DMing privileges.


* I may no longer rip off the most interesting man in the world
**This particular use is no longer permitted
I don't always teach engineers, but when I do, I prefer dos Mech E's

*There is not a captain in every crew

*I have not gone a bridge too far

*These PC's are not a clear and present danger

[Slipperychicken]

*These PC's are not a clear and present danger

**The PCs are always a clear and present danger.



** If the situation ever again arises where Captain Jack Harkness, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Jack Daniels all are located in the same room I will immediatly lose my DMing privileges.


***If the GM can actually roleplay Jack Sparrow to my satisfaction, he wins.

****No, the local retail outlet does not sell "Best GM ever" mugs.

[Sith_Happens]

** If the situation ever again arises where Captain Jack Harkness, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Jack Daniels all are located in the same room I will immediatly lose my DMing privileges.

*** Upon witnessing this situation, my character may not immediately begin writing a vulgar in-universe slash fic of it.

[DigoDragon]

Warforged are not to be fluffed as the D&D equivalent of the Robocop Initiative.

[Reltzik]

* No longer allowed to cast invisibility on doors and then close them in the BBEG's face.
** Especially not if he likes casting burst or spread spells.
* (PF) No longer allowed to use Floating Disk as the most effective battlefield control spell imaginable at 8th level.
* No longer allowed to apply "difficult terrain" modifiers 3 times over to the same bottleneck.
* The BBEG is a venerable, powerful being worthy of respect. I should not use Mad Monkeys to steal his holy symbol.
** No longer allowed to reserve Mad Monkeys SPECIFICALLY for dignified opponents.

[GPuzzle]

* I cannot make everyone watch Red vs Blue all over again and then reference it in the campaign
** RWBY is out of question too.
*** I cannot make everyone play a RWBY RPG unless I create a whole new system for that.
**** I cannot make everyone play a RWBY RPG even if I create a whole new system for that.
***** Especially if I create an entire new system for that.

[Arkhosia]

* I cannot make everyone watch Red vs Blue all over again and then reference it in the campaign
** RWBY is out of question too.
*** I cannot make everyone play a RWBY RPG unless I create a whole new system for that.
**** I cannot make everyone play a RWBY RPG even if I create a whole new system for that.
***** Especially if I create an entire new system for that.

****** Previous rules are invalid if playing with Arkhosia. :smallbiggrin:

[GPuzzle]

****** Previous rules are invalid if playing with Arkhosia. :smallbiggrin:
Yeah, you're partially one of the reasons I've started watching RWBY and then ended up making the entire group watch it. But considering where I live, no, we probably aren't playing togheter unless it's via Internet.

[Arkhosia]

Yeah, you're partially one of the reasons I've started watching RWBY and then ended up making the entire group watch it. But considering where I live, no, we probably aren't playing togheter unless it's via Internet.

Yay!
And yeah, probably not.
There is an FFRP here though.

[GPuzzle]

* Cannot play :
- A Dragon Sorcerer focused around fire that took Channel Sorcerer Dagger and uses her own fists as a Dagger.
- A Rapier or Scythe-wielding Swordmage.
- A Razorclaw Shifter Rogue with a gun that fires hooks and use a Shortsword.
** If the GM agrees that we will play my RWBY adventure, I have to be the GM, no choices.
*** If I give 20 bucks to the GM, I may play.

[Arkhosia]

*My PC doesn't know that this is a game.
**He doesn't think that if he dies in the game, he'll die in real life
***He is not a dual-wielding swordmage.
****He doesn't wear a black trench coat either.

[Slipperychicken]

*My PC doesn't know that this is a game.

**This doesn't give him authorization to say "DO YOU THINK THIS IS A ****ING GAME?!"

[GPuzzle]

* My character cannot be drunk, even if he's a Dwarf.
** Especially if we're playing d20 modern.

Also, Arkhosia, was that a Sword Art Online reference?

[Arkhosia]

* My character cannot be drunk, even if he's a Dwarf.
** Especially if we're playing d20 modern.

Also, Arkhosia, was that a Sword Art Online reference?

Yep!:smallbiggrin:

[Sith_Happens]

* There is no such feat as Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Frying Pan.

[Ionbound]

*Despite the theoritcal connections between the universes, I am not allowed to play the Demifiend in a Persona campaign.

**Nor am I allowed to play the Demifiend in any SMT inspired campaign.

***I don't want to know how you're going to play the Demifiend in Greyhawk, the answer is no.

[Mekboy]

* If I'm playing cleric, can't yell 'Pills here!' every time I heal someone.
** The correct response to a witch is not to turn off all the lights and avoid looking at them.

[Turalisj]

* I cannot make everyone watch Red vs Blue all over again and then reference it in the campaign
** RWBY is out of question too.
*** I cannot make everyone play a RWBY RPG unless I create a whole new system for that.
**** I cannot make everyone play a RWBY RPG even if I create a whole new system for that.
***** Especially if I create an entire new system for that.

Legend RPG can easily do RWBY.

[Necroticplague]

*I may not avoid every single puzzle by smashing the door down instead of figuring out its puzzle lock.
**nor will I break down the walls around the door to avoid the sudden existence of obdurium doors.
***and I will not make use of hardness-ignoring attacks to overcome the existence of entire dungeons of Obdurium.
****Having whole dungeons made of obdurium does not mean I should start selling broken-down walls for obscene profits.

[Slipperychicken]

* If I'm playing cleric, can't yell 'Pills here!' every time I heal someone.
** The correct response to a witch is not to turn off all the lights and avoid looking at them.

***My Divine Focus is not a box of tylenol.

****I do not worship Big Pharma.

[JetpackJimmy]

* My barbarian is not named Daneal Breayant
**Nor is my deurgar oracle named Braye Wayatt
***The elf does not "Think therefore he is greater than you"
****Yes, a league of LE paladins would be cool. They do not all wield tower shields as weapons and have Angelic Hounds as mounts.
*****Suplexes are not an Attack of Opportunity.
******Superplexing is hereby banned. Forever.
******* Powerbombing from 200 feet up using Overland Flight? No. Just. No.
******** If you play as John Cena, you. Are. A. Munchkin.
********* John Cena is not a CE 20th level unarmed paladin. He does not save "little old ladies"
**********Stone Cold is a legitimate inspiration for the orc, however.
*********** Fine. Bray Wyatt is a Daemon. Stop asking.
************ If you DO play as John Cena, you cannot have your hair erupt in a golden light, double all of your stats, and go "Super-Cena"

[Man on Fire]

* Players right to throw fireballs at the DM must be uphold at all cost.

* No longer allowed to get wizard high
** same narcotic cannot make Elven wizard throw fireballs right and left and hal-elf druid see shirtless blue men everywhere
* When buying a horse, no longer allowed to see how easy you can throw it.
* Youg backpack cannot contain 20 watermelons and a drunk wizard
** Wizard is not allowed to wake up and eat all the watermelons to cure the hangover.
* Anything that involves Benny Hill theme is right out
* when players expect to be attacked by a troll, do not replace troll with angry crowd for kicks
** Angry crowd cannot confuse drunk elven wizard with evil dwarf wizard
* Cannot convince a boat you're it's uncle
* No longer allowed to base enemy wizard on Doctor Strange
* No longer allowed to save killed npc after GM says he's based on Samuel L. Jackson
* No longer allowed to trick lovestruck NPC into getting his butt kicked by his love's father
* When you find out your favorite NPC died, first answer is not "I nned to become a necromancer".
* You cannot take a ton of rocks on a ship just so you can build a golem

[Wookieetank]

* You cannot take a ton of rocks on a ship just so you can build a golem

**Arming the ship with catapults as an excuse for taking the rocks with you is frowned upon
***Using the catapults to launch golems at enemy ships while amusing, is right out. :smallamused:

[GPuzzle]

* If I'm playing an Artificer, my name can't Dell Conagher.
** No, he can't create sentries. Or dispensers. Or teleporters.

[Somensjev]

*while DMing i may not give one of my players a piece of paper with elder futhark (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_Futhark) on it, which says "guess which spell i prepared?"

[Ksheep]

*while DMing i may not give one of my players a piece of paper with elder futhark (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_Futhark) on it, which says "guess which spell i prepared?"

** Same goes for Younger Futhark (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Younger_Futhark)
*** Nor can I use Ogham (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogham)

[Somensjev]

* my epic wizard may not attempt to create a spell which makes a small parchment, that when read taunts people with a rude message, written in explosive runes

[Slipperychicken]

* my epic wizard may not attempt to create a spell which makes a small parchment, that when read taunts people with a rude message, written in explosive runes

**Combining the spells Magic Mouth and Explosive Runes in this manner is permissible, albeit hilarious.

[Somensjev]

**Combining the spells Magic Mouth and Explosive Runes in this manner is permissible, albeit hilarious.

*i may not try to find out how many explosive runes fit on an arrow
*if i do i may not tell the ranger to fire it at people
*i may not modify every arrow the party owns in this way
*modifying arrows in any way is now punishable by rocks

[DigoDragon]

"Supository Flavored X-Box" will never be an answer to any question ever asked or will be asked. Ever.

[Thomas Hunter]

"Supository Flavored X-Box" will never be an answer to any question ever asked or will be asked. Ever.

Unless, of course, someone doesn't catch it and asks you to repeat it.

I may not establish a link to another party member with the express purpose of later becoming the BBEG and basically forcing them to kill him in order to defeat me.

[Asahel24601]

I may not establish a link to another party member with the express purpose of later becoming the BBEG and basically forcing them to kill him in order to defeat me.

*As that game's GM, I cannot rule that said link, when broken, also cuts him off from his power, or make it worse in some other way.
**All the buffs either use do transfer, as well as their general location.
***Morale bonuses don't count for the above.
****Nor does damage.
*****Even if that would be fun

[Sith_Happens]

* All inquiries as to whether the party artificer wishes to craft an ice golem are to cease immediately.

[unseenmage]

* All inquiries as to whether the party artificer wishes to craft an ice golem are to cease immediately.

** Said Artificer is definitely not allowed to craft a Craft Golem.
*** Doubly so if it's a Kraft Golem.
**** And yes that would be too cheesey.

[Ionbound]

*****Craft (Cheese) doesn't allow you to make broken characters.

******Not Even on a Natural 20.

[Vknight]

*I may no longer use my skill Craft[Love]
**No not even then

*Just because we are on a magical train I can't ask how long the rails go
**Especially once we get off the train

[Slipperychicken]

*I may no longer use my skill Craft[Love]
**No not even then


*When an underling complains about not having enough time to execute an order, the proper response is not to bark "THEN PUT SOME RANKS IN CRAFT(TIME)".

**Craft (Time) is not a real skill.

[Arkhosia]

*The cap for skills and ability scores is not 42

[GPuzzle]

* Cannot make the party play Hybrid Combinations.
** Especially if it actually works.

* CharOp forums are banned.
** Next time I use CharOp to build an incredibly effective character and then proceed to roleplay it, I am going to be the GM forever.

* All previous rules are invalid (yes, the dubstep ones included) until further notice after I told the GM to grow the **** up and learn to listen to others, because this is a game after all, and if I am a weird mix of a Loonie, a Real Man and a Roleplayer, then he better ****ing deal with it.
** Yes, he will allow others to be GMs.
*** Okay, I managed to screw up with the GM's plans to the point that all rules are now valid again, but he will still allow others to be GMs.

[Wookieetank]

**Craft (Time) is not a real skill.

***Profession(Time Lord) is also right out.

[Roderick_BR]

***Profession(Time Lord) is also right out.
****So is the feat Exotic Weapon Proficience (Sonic Screwdriver).

[Ksheep]

****So is the feat Exotic Weapon Proficience (Sonic Screwdriver).

Of course not. Sonic Screwdriver isn't a weapon, it's a masterwork tool that gives +4 to Open Lock, Survival, and Use Magic Device.

[TuggyNE]

Of course not. Sonic Screwdriver isn't a weapon, it's a masterwork tool that gives +4 to Open Lock, Survival, and Use Magic Device.

****** I cannot have one.

[Spore]

Of course not. Sonic Screwdriver isn't a weapon, it's a masterwork tool that gives +4 to Open Lock, Survival, and Use Magic Device.

Isn't it a wondrous item that grants "plot convenience" 1/day?

[Slipperychicken]

Isn't it a wondrous item that grants "plot convenience" 1/day?

It allows the wielder to cast Deus (Ex) Machina at-will.

[Arkhosia]

*My PC is not a paladin in plate armor with a crossbow.
**He is not devoted to collecting technology
***He does not call zombies "Super Mutants"

[Ksheep]

*My PC is not a paladin in plate armor with a crossbow.
**He is not devoted to collecting technology
***He does not call zombies "Super Mutants"

*b: Especially not a repeating crossbow.

[Slipperychicken]

*My PC is not a paladin in plate armor with a crossbow.
**He is not devoted to collecting technology
***He does not call zombies "Super Mutants"

*Killing peasants for heresy is not a Good act.

**Especially when "heresy" is defined as doing anything other than venerating the Emperor.

***For the last time, Orcs are not "damned xenos", and they don't reproduce by spores.

****My paladin's armor is not decorated with a yellow-and-red symbol of an angry face.

*Playing WH40K instead of dnd is all right.

**Doing so without notifying the GM is frowned upon.

[Sith_Happens]

Not sure if forum missed Frozen reference or simply ignored it.:smallconfused: "Do you want to build a snowman?"

* Silver Dragon Heritage Dragonfire Inspiration or not, my bard may only sing "Let it Go" once.

[Erik Vale]

*b: Especially not a repeating crossbow.

** Or a repeating Brilliant Crossbow.

[Prince Raven]

*Killing peasants for heresy is not a Good act.

**Especially when "heresy" is defined as doing anything other than venerating the Emperor.

***For the last time, Orcs are not "damned xenos", and they don't reproduce by spores.

****My paladin's armor is not decorated with a yellow-and-red symbol of an angry face.

*Playing WH40K instead of dnd is all right.

**Doing so without notifying the GM is frowned upon.

***Playing D&D instead of Dark Heresy without notifying the GM is also frowned upon

**** There is no such psychic power as "Detect Heresy"

***** Because it would defeat the whole point of investigating, is why

****** "Because he somehow resisted my Detect Heresy power" is not a justification for summarily executing the planetary governor your Inquisitor will accept.

******* I should not play "Let it Go" around the psyker, it gives them dangerous ideas.

[Zelphas]

Not sure if forum missed Frozen reference or simply ignored it.:smallconfused: "Do you want to build a snowman?"

* Silver Dragon Heritage Dragonfire Inspiration or not, my bard may only sing "Let it Go" once.

** Profession (Ice Salesman) does not exist.
*** Trolls do not get a +20 to disguise themselves as rocks.
**** Said trolls are not Small size, and do not try to marry any couple that they meet.
***** Your Ranger can have a reindeer for an animal companion.
******Your ranger cannot, however, use ventriloquism to pretend said reindeer was talking to him.

[Ksheep]

* As a DM, I should try to avoid placing Sex Change traps for the players to walk into.
** I am not allowed to have any Gender Change traps either.
*** Traps that magically change species, while fun for a short while, are frowned upon.
**** Definitely not allowed to have traps that change the species that the victim believes they are.
***** All of these are enforced doubly so when dealing with Warforged
****** Especially if I insist that the players RP everything
******* No, I can not make the human male into a Warforged who believes he is a goblin female, just to see how the player handles it.

[DigoDragon]

Of course not. Sonic Screwdriver isn't a weapon, it's a masterwork tool that gives +4 to Open Lock, Survival, and Use Magic Device.

"Put those things away! What do you intend to do, build a cabinet at them?"



Not allowed to take a selfie during combat with the Incredible Hulk.
The Hulk-Buster armor does not shoot 'Bannerangs'.

[unseenmage]

* No longer allowed to demand the chance to fight the pathogens currently invading/infecting my character.
** Even if I am fairly confident that my build can overcome the size penalties for melee attacking such small creatures.

*** No, the Cleave/Great Cleave feat chain shouldn't be used that way.
**** Even if it would allow me to conceivably cure all disease everywhere via melee attacks.

[Sith_Happens]

* No longer allowed to demand the chance to fight the pathogens currently invading/infecting my character.
** Even if I am fairly confident that my build can overcome the size penalties for melee attacking such small creatures.
*** No, the Cleave/Great Cleave feat chain shouldn't be used that way.
**** Even if it would allow me to conceivably cure all disease everywhere via melee attacks.

** When the DM rules that infections are swarms in an attempt to keep me from doing this, the correct response is to drop the subject, not buy a Swarmstrike weapon.

* My paladin may not have a goatee, as it confuses the other players too much.

[Arkhosia]

*I can play a dark pact sorcerer.
**sure, she can be a half-fiend
***... And he's playing a changeling druid? Okay.
**** He's playing a warforged version of a cyborg?
***** and he's a ranger with a staff - wait a minute!

[Ionbound]

*I can play a dark pact sorcerer.
**sure, she can be a half-fiend
***... And he's playing a changeling druid? Okay.
**** He's playing a warforged version of a cyborg?
***** and he's a ranger with a staff - wait a minute!

Gotta explain this one, Arkh.

[Arkhosia]

Gotta explain this one, Arkh.

http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/11100000/Teen-Titans-teen-titans-11136409-1024-768.jpg

[Ionbound]

http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/11100000/Teen-Titans-teen-titans-11136409-1024-768.jpg

I was going to complain about the picture not working, but when I saw the URL in the quote, I immediately understood.

[Jurai]

*I am not allowed to invent ice cream. The unwashed masses do not deserve happiness.
**FroYo is right out.
***Sherbet, maybe.

[unseenmage]

*I am not allowed to invent ice cream. The unwashed masses do not deserve happiness.
**FroYo is right out.
***Sherbet, maybe.

**** Under no circumstances am I to invent Dippin' Dots.
***** Especially if my intention is to accompany them with a fledgeling space program.

[GPuzzle]

*If the party is composed of a Human Mage, a Human Ranger with a Wolf, a Dragonborn Slayer, a Dwarf Swordmage, a Longtooth Shifter Cleric of Dol Dorn and a Hengeyokai Sorcerer, the DM is going to give up.

[Afool]

*If the party is composed of a Human Mage, a Human Ranger with a Wolf, a Dragonborn Slayer, a Dwarf Swordmage, a Longtooth Shifter Cleric of Dol Dorn and a Hengeyokai Sorcerer, the DM is going to give up.

I think I'm going to give up too. I have no idea of the reference :smalltongue:

[GPuzzle]

I think I'm going to give up too. I have no idea of the reference :smalltongue:

http://www.critjuice.com/

Human Wizard: Arience Everstorm, played by Daniel Acker

Human Ranger: Franklin "Wolf" Lewis, played by Brian McGrath

Human Ranger's Wolf: Chase

Dragonborn Slayer: Gub T. Montgomery, played by Tom Fonss

Dwarf Swordmage: Gralford Stoneshield, played by Gary Soldati

Longtooth Shifter: Doc Keratin, played by Matt Buchholtz

Hengeyokai Sorcerer: Dar'Jjeeki, played by Matt Cook.

It's really crazy and immature and nonsensical but it's also really funny to listen to.
"Dirt ****ters stealing my job!"

[Kane0]

*Purple rabbits are now kill-on-sight
**Mushrooms of a color other than white or brown cannot be allowed to fall into the cleric's hands
***Do not ask where the cleric has gone at midnight
****Anybody deciding to tail the cleric on one of his midnight trips deserves anything that happens to them.

*The Acolyte of Bigby NPC is not interested in adventuring with you
**Any further attempts to persuade the Acolyte of Bigby will result in any combination of gentle nudges, facepalms and uppercuts.
***No, he will definitely not teach you any of his cool tricks

*The lack of demi-humans in this city is not a valid reason to burn down the docks
**The lack of alcohol in this city is not a valid reason to retire and run an old fashioned dwarf tavern.
***Ribena is not the cause of the city's problems
****No, you cannot curse/poison/disrupt the local ribena supply
*****No, the ribena did not turn the city population into zombies

*King Revan Krudd and the Mad Monk Abbot are major NPCs for a reason
**No, the party cannot vote on which one to should side with/kill

*Inhaling or ingesting residuum will not result in gaining magic powers.
**Nor will it give you a bonus to/against magic
***Especially illusion and enchantment magic

*The Death Knight is not a worshipper of Pelor.
**The Death Knight is not a worshipper of Kord.
***The Death Knight is not a worshipper of Vecna.
****Stop guessing, start running.

Edit:
*Should the party size exceed 8 members, we are to form a company called 'Thugs 4 Less' and split into smaller parties to maintain the business.

[Warior4356]

*I am no longer allowed to use major creation to make sodium to drop in the swamp
*When sodium doesn't work trying francium is even worse
*Im not allowed to make alkali metals at all.
*I'm not allowed to pump 200 cubic feet of dioxygen difluoride (O2F2).in to the baddies lair. (dioxygen difluride also know as Lucifer gas is so volatile that it makes almost any organic substance ignite and explode at any temperature hotter than 300°F below zero. It can literally make ice catch fire.)
*I'M specifically not allowed to add natural gas to this room causing a massive explosion, nor will this also produce a cloud of hydrogen fluoride gas. Hydrogen fluoride can dissolve human tissue on contact, starting with your lungs and corneas.
*If im ever caught doing chemistry in dnd again i will spontaneously combust because the dm said so.

[Arkhosia]

*I am no longer allowed to use major creation to make sodium to drop in the swamp
*When sodium doesn't work trying francium is even worse
*Im not allowed to make alkali metals at all.
*I'm not allowed to pump 200 cubic feet of dioxygen difluoride (O2F2).in to the baddies lair. (dioxygen difluride also know as Lucifer gas is so volatile that it makes almost any organic substance ignite and explode at any temperature hotter than 300°F below zero. It can literally make ice catch fire.)
*If im ever caught doing chemistry in dnd again i will spontaneously combust because the dm said so.

Has someone else been reading a certain web article on pressure cookers? :smallbiggrin::smalltongue:

[Warior4356]

maybe....... http://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/13/laser_pointer_more_power.pnghttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1v_1_hhWp84/S7bj7IsV31I/AAAAAAAAC3M/g4_Ka8futj8/s400/black-mage-hadoken.jpg

[unseenmage]

* From this moment forth no plan may begin with the phrase, "What if we tried more power?"
** Nor may any plan end with, "Hadoken!"

[Prince Raven]

*The DM may no longer hand out character sheets consisting of a tall red-haired swordsage, a quarterstaff wielding rogue/luckstealer and a golden-eyed Ranger/Barbarian with a strange connection to wolves.

[Lord Raziere]

*The DM may no longer hand out character sheets consisting of a tall red-haired swordsage, a quarterstaff wielding rogue/luckstealer and a golden-eyed Ranger/Barbarian with a strange connection to wolves.

*nor may the wizards all be female in the setting
*the DM is to stop making everyone jerks
*the DM is to stop focusing his descriptions on dresses excessively
*the new DM, while wrapping up the story more quickly, is not to introduce a new character out of nowhere that seems to be able to do everything

[Prince Raven]

*nor may the wizards all be female in the setting

** No, it isn't ok that male wizards do technically exist, but are driven mad by their powers and are hunted down and stripped of their powers by female wizards, which ultimately ends up killing them 99% of the time.

[Slipperychicken]

** No, it isn't ok that male wizards do technically exist, but are driven mad by their powers and are hunted down and stripped of their powers by female wizards, which ultimately ends up killing them 99% of the time.

***Even if the setting's humanoids are all Drow.

****This is not a valid excuse to play a transsexual Drow Wizard.

[TuggyNE]

*the new DM, while wrapping up the story more quickly, is not to introduce a new character out of nowhere that seems to be able to do everything

I got the rest of this, but who does this refer to?

[Lord Raziere]

I got the rest of this, but who does this refer to?

oh I don't have this complaint myself, but apparently some people thought this guy some Aes Sedai fell in love with in some tower in the final book who was introduced by Brandon Sanderson, I can't exactly remember his name, but he apparently was regarded as some sort of mary sue or something. my memory is foggy about that particular rant.

[TuggyNE]

oh I don't have this complaint myself, but apparently some people thought this guy some Aes Sedai fell in love with in some tower in the final book who was introduced by Brandon Sanderson, I can't exactly remember his name, but he apparently was regarded as some sort of mary sue or something. my memory is foggy about that particular rant.

Wow, that's really not ringing any bells at all. :smallconfused:

[Lord Raziere]

Wow, that's really not ringing any bells at all. :smallconfused:

I know right? I mostly included it just to have some sort of Brandon Sanderson joke...not a very good one I guess...

[DigoDragon]

*I'm not allowed to pump 200 cubic feet of dioxygen difluoride (O2F2).in to the baddies lair.

Tenderly called "FOOF"!
Here's a fun article (http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2010/02/23/things_i_wont_work_with_dioxygen_difluoride.php) about it's hazards (as told by a chemist). :smallbiggrin:



As GM, I'm banned from creating dungeon puzzles based on organic chemistry.
Also banned as a PC.

[Prince Raven]

I know right? I mostly included it just to have some sort of Brandon Sanderson joke...not a very good one I guess...

I'm lost too... The only Mary Sue that comes to mind for me is Egwene, and she's not exactly a last minute addition...

[Sith_Happens]

***Do not ask where the cleric has gone at midnight
****Anybody deciding to tail the cleric on one of his midnight trips deserves anything that happens to them.

**** Anyone who feeds the cleric after midnight is responsible for cleaning up the mess.


* From this moment forth no every plan may must begin with the phrase, "What if we tried more power?"

FTFY.

** If trying more power doesn't work, it's because we didn't try enough power.

[Wookieetank]

**** Anyone who feeds the cleric after midnight is responsible for cleaning up the mess.



FTFY.

** If trying more power doesn't work, it's because we didn't try enough power.

***Using more fire can be a suitable substitute for more power in most situations.

[Spore]

Tenderly called "FOOF"!
Here's a fun article (http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2010/02/23/things_i_wont_work_with_dioxygen_difluoride.php) about it's hazards (as told by a chemist). :smallbiggrin:



As GM, I'm banned from creating dungeon puzzles based on organic chemistry.
Also banned as a PC.

I may or may not have found my new favorite molecule. :D How you would synthethize that with medieval laboratories is beyond me. I guess someone lucked out on their craft check?

[Ksheep]

I may or may not have found my new favorite molecule. :D How you would synthethize that with medieval laboratories is beyond me. I guess someone lucked out on their craft check?

Nothing that a simple Creation, Wish, or Miracle can't fix…

[vasharanpaladin]

***Using more fire can be a suitable substitute for more power in most situations.

****At least until we're up to fire damage dealing more damage to creatures that are supposed to be immune or resistant to it than to creatures that are vulnerable to it. Then we have a problem.

[Erik Vale]

*****Searing Spell is mandatory on all wizards.
******Brown Mold is the one exception to use more fire.

[GPuzzle]

I actually asked some of my RPG table of things they are not allowed to no longer do while playing, and only two have given the list yet, more will come:

Girlfriend:

* The Sorcerer hasn't been affected by the Paladin's maxed out Charisma (that was me).

* I do not have pink hair, a bass, goggles in my forehead and a Vespa.

* Nope, I'm not allowed to mix Frozen and Attack on Titan.
** Okay, I can't mix FLCL and RWBY.
*** And under no circunstances, I can't mix all of the above.

DM:

* "Keith Moon would do it." is never a good awnser.

* If anyone makes an expy of any superhero, I cannot ask questions such as "Would a Lightsaber cut through Superman?"
** Okay, maybe yes.

* I cannot make a character with maxed out Wisdom, Strength and Dexteritry say I'm as wise as Solomon, strong as Athlas, fast as Hermes and all that and act like a kid.
** I cannot say "I am not Shazam." or any variant of the phrase.

[unseenmage]

* I will desist dropping allied diplomats into the river by making the bridge disappear.
** I will most certainly stop dropping them in lava.
*** If I ever do allow them into my fortress I will not be sure that their only exit is the Underdark.

**** Just because the only specialists who wish to migrate to my landlocked fortress are fishermen that's no excuse for dropping all migrants into the river.
***** Doubly so for the lava pool.

****** Pumping the lava over them is also prohibited.

******* When I am attacked by every civilization on the map for my acts of "diplomacy" I am not to complain of railroading.

[TuggyNE]

*I may not use Intimidate to provoke opportunity attacks on a character with the Panther Style feat tree in Pathfinder.

I don't think you can do that to begin with. :smallconfused:

[Slipperychicken]

******Brown Mold is the one exception to use more fire.

*******That is to say, you apply fire to it after deploying it near your enemies.

[Warior4356]

*I may not convince the DM that using implosion on metal will compresses it to a third of its size
*telling the DM exactly how a nuclear bomb works is just crass.
*I may not using create matter and implosion make a nuclear bomb to teleport into the enemy fortress
*I may not using said bomb level the evil army and fortress
*especially if the bbeg was spossed to be a recusing villain through epic

[Slipperychicken]

******* When I am attacked by every civilization on the map for my acts of "diplomacy" I am not to complain of railroading.

********Instead, I shall be thankful for his gifts of target practice, arena combatants, goblinite, and !!Fun!!

[Necroticplague]

*Remember, herpemancy is magic based on snakes, not magic based on having herpes.
**I cannot abuse the selling of snakes to gain major charges since I only ever own one snake.

*I may not be an Masterless Man epidermomancer just so that i can have more wounds than any three other party members.
**Similarly, I cannot have The Merchant "sell" my wounds so I can produce major charges faster.
***Additionally, as an Executioner or a Merchant, I may not use hyper-literal interpretation of vague expressed desires as the basis of any order or contracts (I.e. "I wish you would put up more of a fight" is not enough to activate Executioner abilities to slaughter him.)

[Prince Raven]

* I may not assist the players during character creation individually to ensure the party consists of a lawful good elf paladin, a chaotic evil halfling rogue, a dwarf cleric that hates elves and a human wizard whose brother has killed by a whisperknife.
** Nor may I "help" create a party that consists of a highborn psyker, a redemptionist priest, an outcast untochable and a Necromundan desperado.
*** I may also not "help" create a party that consists of a Illianer channeler, an Aiel algai'd'siswai, a Tairen noble and a Cairhienin Child of the Light.
**** All character creation will be done in a group from now on.

[Afool]

* I may not assist the players during character creation individually to ensure the party consists of a lawful good elf paladin, a chaotic evil halfling rogue, a dwarf cleric that hates elves and a human wizard whose brother has killed by a whisperknife.
** Nor may I "help" create a party that consists of a highborn psyker, a redemptionist priest, an outcast untochable and a Necromundan desperado.
*** I may also not "help" create a party that consists of a Illianer channeler, an Aiel algai'd'siswai, a Tairen noble and a Cairhienin Child of the Light.
**** All character creation will be done in a group from now on.

Please I beg of you. WHAT SYSTEM IS THIS?
I recognize maybe two of the references, but I would love to play this one day.

[GPuzzle]

Please I beg of you. WHAT SYSTEM IS THIS?
I recognize maybe two of the references, but I would love to play this one day.
Meh, I didn't really get them.
But it does sound interesting.

[Necroticplague]

Please I beg of you. WHAT SYSTEM IS THIS?
I recognize maybe two of the references, but I would love to play this one day.


Meh, I didn't really get them.
But it does sound interesting.

The terminology looks like a couple different systems. first is dnd, second is dark heresey, and the third is Wheel of Time.

[GPuzzle]

And I'm still trying to figure out the references.

[Azreal]

* I may not assist the players during character creation individually to ensure the party consists of a lawful good elf paladin, a chaotic evil halfling rogue, a dwarf cleric that hates elves and a human wizard whose brother has killed by a whisperknife.
** Nor may I "help" create a party that consists of a highborn psyker, a redemptionist priest, an outcast untochable and a Necromundan desperado.
*** I may also not "help" create a party that consists of a Illianer channeler, an Aiel algai'd'siswai, a Tairen noble and a Cairhienin Child of the Light.
**** All character creation will be done in a group from now on.

Someone tell me these references so I don't go mad from curiosity.

[spineyrequiem]

* If my team-mate has just been shot in the leg and is bleeding out, I should be moving faster than 'Oh, you know, just ambling...'

* The guy I'm negotiating with is three feet away and can hear what I'm saying to my team-mates over the radio. So try to keep the open discussions about how we're going to betray him to a minimum.

* If a mortally wounded opponent starts swearing at you, fiddles with a small, metallic device then claims he's going to 'blow us all to hell', probably not the best time to try and loot the bodies.

* When attempting to covertly gather information and maybe support in order to quietly assassinate an enemy gang boss, probably best to send someone other than the psychotic former gang enforcer whose basic response to every social setback is to punch someone with her spiked, weighted-knuckle glove. (NOTE: I was the psychotic girl. Also, this wasn't my plan)

* When negotiations go poorly, calling the skilled negotiator was a good idea. Calling the violence-loving ogryn was less so.

* Sometimes, regardless of what you do, negotiations go south and you end up in a fight with your enemy's entire gang. However, if the gang you're fighting is an entirely different one with no connection to your target whatsoever, there may be a slight problem with your strategy.

* If the violence-loving ogryn is somehow the best hacker in your team, something has gone very wrong with the balance (even the GM doesn't know how he guessed the password...)

[Baroncognito]

Someone tell me these references so I don't go mad from curiosity.

I don't think they're references, I think it's just "really bad group dynamics"

Wheel of time example:
Illianer channeler, an Aiel algai'd'siswai, a Tairen noble and a Cairhienin Child of the Light.

Illainers and Tariens do not get along. Aiel don't get along with anyone, but hate Cairhienin in particular. Children of the Light don't get along with anyone, but hate channelers and will attempt to murder if they get the chance.

D&D example:
lawful good elf paladin, a chaotic evil halfling rogue, a dwarf cleric that hates elves and a human wizard whose brother has killed by a whisperknife

Clearly the paladin and the chaotic evil halfling will not get along, nor dwarf and the elf. Whisperknife is apparently a prestige class for halfling rogues, so the wizard probably wants the halfling dead too.

Just set-ups for a lot of in-fighting.

[Prince Raven]

Necroticplague and Baroncognito are both completely correct. 3 different systems with parties more dangerous to each other than they are to the actual enemies.

spineyrequiem: Your group sounds very entertaining.

[KOedBarbarian]

*My barbarian may not use the paladin as a bludgeoning weapon against the BBEG.
**And even if I could, the paladin would not count as a Holy Avenger for purposes of damage, bonuses, negating DR, etc.
***My +1 Furious Throwing Called Thundering Adamantine warhammer is *NOT* Mjolnir [the real Mjolnir would be much more powerful]

[Slipperychicken]

***My +1 Furious Throwing Called Thundering Adamantine warhammer is *NOT* Mjolnir [the real Mjolnir would be much more powerful]

***Having Thor come down to personally sunder such a pretentiously-named weapon is not very sporting.

****When the PCs mug a lone traveling old man with one eye and a grey tattered robe, he will not reveal himself to be Odin in disguise.

[Sith_Happens]

* Nope, I'm not allowed to mix Frozen and Attack on Titan.

http://funnyismuploads.s3.amazonaws.com/5a438409-7a43-42f1-a9b7-de824688d447.jpg


*Remember, herpemancy is magic based on snakes, not magic based on having herpes.
**I cannot abuse the selling of snakes to gain major charges since I only ever own one snake.

*I may not be an Masterless Man epidermomancer just so that i can have more wounds than any three other party members.
**Similarly, I cannot have The Merchant "sell" my wounds so I can produce major charges faster.
***Additionally, as an Executioner or a Merchant, I may not use hyper-literal interpretation of vague expressed desires as the basis of any order or contracts (I.e. "I wish you would put up more of a fight" is not enough to activate Executioner abilities to slaughter him.)

This sounds like Nobilis.

[Prince Raven]

^ So much win that I wish this forum had a like system.

[ORione]

* My character may not be named William Save.
** Especially if he goes by Will.
*** My character does not have relatives named Reflex or Fortitude.

[Prince Raven]

* My Fighter character may not be name Fi Tor

(stolen from Darths & Droids)

[TuggyNE]

* My character may not be named William Save.
** Especially if he goes by Will.
*** My character does not have relatives named Reflex or Fortitude.

**** Nor Fortinbras nor Wilcome.

[Necroticplague]

This sounds like Nobilis.

Actually, Unknown Armies, though there are some similarities, especially with Avatars.

*Plutomancers may not pass around the same money between them repeatedly for infinite minor charges.
**Similarly, plutophages cannot cough up and eat the same money repeatedly for infinite significant charges
***and an Anagram Gematriast cannot tattoo an anagram of her own name on herself to she always has a spell handy.

(actually tried that last one, it was Mavelatihani=I am Leviathan).

[Sith_Happens]

Anagram Gematriast

This is the just plain oddest thing I've ever heard in reference to an RPG.

How would that even work? "But when I rearrange the letters this way, they... still add to 35. Maybe I should consider a different profession."

[DigoDragon]

* My Fighter character may not be name Fi Tor

My wife named her character that in a one-shot Toon adventure.
This was before Darth & Droids existed though.


A few during a discussion on Shadowrun:

No longer allowed to load a heavy machinegun with belt-fed Stick-N-Shock rounds.
Rocket Assisted Take Off gear may not be used with mopeds, bicycles, segways, & wheelchairs.
The Technomancer may no longer wear hats made out of satellite uplink devices. You are also banned from taking the code-name "Lawnmower Man".

[Necroticplague]

This is the just plain oddest thing I've ever heard in reference to an RPG.

How would that even work? "But when I rearrange the letters this way, they... still add to 35. Maybe I should consider a different profession."

It works because all magic in the setting is fueled by the unhealthy obsession (at best, at worst it's downright insanity) of the "adept". The general idea for that school is that by saying "this two things are spelled with the same letters, so there is some link between them, or they are somehow similar", the obsession can actually make it so. However, every time they cast, they, for a period, lose all ability to use language, output or input.

[Warior4356]

Actually, Unknown Armies, though there are some similarities, especially with Avatars.

*Plutomancers may not pass around the same money between them repeatedly for infinite minor charges.
**Similarly, plutophages cannot cough up and eat the same money repeatedly for infinite significant charges
***and an Anagram Gematriast cannot tattoo an anagram of her own name on herself to she always has a spell handy.

(actually tried that last one, it was Mavelatihani=I am Leviathan).

*Despite the name plutomancers do not have power over plutonium

[ORione]

*Despite the name plutomancers do not have power over plutonium

** Nor over cartoon dogs or dwarf planets.

[GPuzzle]

Okay, a friend of mine gave his list to me now (I asked the group to write down what they weren't allowed to do):

*Colony Dropping does not involve Dubstep.

*Okay, if we're playing people who escaped from prison, we can't make a band.
**Stop humming Band on the Run.

*Nope, we aren't going to let you GM a campaign of Giant Mecha based on nearly every single thing Gainax made, Gao Gai Gar and Pacific Rim.
**Alright, you are going to be the GM. It's just too awesome.

[Bucky]

*I must be discreet about my GM bribery in the future.
*As GM, I shall not solicit payments for an 'increased chance of rare loot drops'.
*My villain's decision to unleash dire rust monsters on the party shall not depend on any out-of-game issues.
**Even if I 'really need the money'.

(I have no idea why phone-gamers put up with this sort of thing)

[Adoendithas]

*Colony Dropping does not involve Dubstep.
** The words "D-d-d-drop the [anything]" are no longer allowed.

[Sith_Happens]

It works because all magic in the setting is fueled by the unhealthy obsession (at best, at worst it's downright insanity) of the "adept". The general idea for that school is that by saying "this two things are spelled with the same letters, so there is some link between them, or they are somehow similar", the obsession can actually make it so. However, every time they cast, they, for a period, lose all ability to use language, output or input.

Oh, okay, so only the "anagram" part actually has anything to do with it, the writers just cribbed the word "Gematriah" at random for being mysticy-sounding.

[Necroticplague]

Oh, okay, so only the "anagram" part actually has anything to do with it, the writers just cribbed the word "Gematriah" at random for being mysticy-sounding.

Not entirely true, but not entirely false. According to the write-up, the field started with actual gematriah. Then some people started using it for non-numeric systems, focusing solely on the letters involved, producing the anagram gematriasts. They still hold to the tenet that language equivalence indicates some form of similarity, they just changed the definition of language equivalence, and start applying it to way more things.

[squiggit]

*I am not allowed to use "Things I May No Longer Do" threads as a source of ideas for my next campaign anymore.

[unseenmage]

*I am not allowed to use "Things I May No Longer Do" threads as a source of ideas for my next campaign anymore.

Ditto. True story. :smallfrown::smalltongue:

** Not allowed to get ideas from Exploits threads anymore.
*** No more GitP at all!
**** Okay fine, no GitP for a month.
***** Nevermind! No more internet when building characters at all!

[Jormengand]

* I don't care that weight and mass are not the same thing, you cannot use telekinesis on an asteroid.
** Yes, your MtF character does take a -2 penalty on disguise checks to present female. No, the rules don't technically say that.

[KOedBarbarian]

(Filling in for my brother)

*I am no longer allowed to play changeling warlocks
**Especially if said warlock is psychotic and crazy, and basically the Joker
***It is wrong for me to bluff the party into letting me scout the dungeon, and then warn every mob in the dungeon about the party of adventurers lurking just outside.
****It is frowned upon to murder quest-critical NPC innkeepers
*****It is doubly-frowned upon to shapeshift into the innkeeper and start running the inn
******Convincing the innkeeper's family and friends into joining a cult is right out

[BootStrapTommy]

*I am no longer allowed to play an archivist.
**EVER.
*I am no longer allowed to play a characters whose align is just "chaotic".
*I am no longer allowed to play paladins as if they're cannon fodder martyrs.
**Especially if that involves going through 6 palis in one campaign.

[Ksheep]

* When being chased by bounty hunters, I may not disguise our camp fire by burning down the entire forest
** Especially if the only reason you wanted a campfire in the first place is because you were tired of eating stale bread and cold sausage for dinner

* I may not base my dungeons on Pac-Man
** Having four ghosts chase the party through the dungeon is frowned upon
*** No, I cannot substitute "ghost" with "gaseous form Vampire"
**** Especially if the party is at low levels

[Alberic Strein]

* No matter what the rules say, how much fate/edge points I use and how high I roll, I am not allowed to start and drive a car while a troll sits in the driver's seat, and an unconcious elf is in the passenger's seat.
** Even if I can explain how I start a car with barely one feet on the pedals.
*** The gearbox issue shall not be brought up.
**** I am not allowed to make a driver without the ability to hack/magically control vehicules anymore.
***** I am not authorized, even if it is unrelated with the previous statement, to bring autobots in the setting.
****** The issue of their gearbox shall not be brought up either.

[Arkhosia]

*No playing a vampire assassin who dual-wields heavily enchanted hand crossbows.
**He does not have a female town guard thrall
***He did not have a relationship with the Queen
****A vampire aristocrat who fights with wires is right out!

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

*No playing a vampire assassin who dual-wields heavily enchanted hand crossbows.
**He does not have a female town guard thrall
***He did not have a relationship with the Queen
****A vampire aristocrat who fights with wires is right out!

*****If the words "Nazi", "Vampire", and "Army" are used in the same sentence, when describing your character's motivations, rocks will fall.

[Deremir]

maybe....... http://what-if.xkcd.com/imgs/a/13/laser_pointer_more_power.pnghttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1v_1_hhWp84/S7bj7IsV31I/AAAAAAAAC3M/g4_Ka8futj8/s400/black-mage-hadoken.jpg

wait what? i always thought that that little blue guy was just a made up character for the oots guest strips, where is he from?

[Ksheep]

wait what? i always thought that that little blue guy was just a made up character for the oots guest strips, where is he from?

That is Black Mage, from the (now ended) 8-Bit Theater (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/03/02/episode-001-were-going-where/), which used characters and some plot from the original Final Fantasy.

[Deremir]

That is Black Mage, from the (now ended) 8-Bit Theater (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/03/02/episode-001-were-going-where/), which used characters and some plot from the original Final Fantasy.

thank you!