Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Rockphed]

More along the latter lines, haven't developed a backstory because the character kind of requires a GM who knows what Kender are. I've just never had one.

I believe you mean "knows what Kender are and doesn't ban them preemptively". Lots of people know enough about Kender to want to ban them without knowing enough to know that their memetic representation is not the only way to play them.

[Corey]

Does Prestidigitation have a maximum Scoville rating (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale)? Does the answer depend on whether it's cast with Subtle metamagic?

[KorvinStarmast]

* May no longer say that banishment takes you to a small padded cell where, playing over the crackly loudspeakers, are two songs on infinite repeat while you are forced to listen until the spell ends:
** The Barney theme song (I love you, you love me...)
** and Baby Shark.
*My no longer send emails to the people in Geneva about a DM doing that ... :smallcool: (Was player in that game and we all cringed)
*** May no longer make fun of the purple worm that also got banished to a similar padded room in that same fight (since he's dead)
*** May no longer (since I already did) point out that a purple dinosaur nonsense love song being sung to a purple worm in that padded cell was almost perfect purple irony
**** May never again perform a song called Purple Worm that is a direct ripoff of Purple Rain by Prince.
(I wrote the parody lyrics (no, I don't have weird Al Jankovic's talent for parody, but I do my best) and my bard performed it on stage to thunderous applause (didn't hurt that the paladin held up a purple worm tooth as the first chorus was being sung ...

** neither is anyone else. In fact, kender don't exist and never have. They were just an extended April Fool's joke. True.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Ratlings are not secretly Kender, and I have to give my party members their stuff back.

[Telok]

* Ratlings are not secretly Kender, and I have to give my party members their stuff back.

** Tibbets are not supposed to be secretly kender in fur onesies, and I am probably going to be banned from playing them if I wear my "team grumpy cat" t-shirt when I show my character sheet.

[TrashTrash]

* Not allowed to roll "unintended consequences" for the Wish spell.
** even if it's because I needed a plot hook

* No more raccoons on random encounter tables

* Sticking to the scientific fact that spiderwebs are flammable must take a backseat when the artificer starts casting Firebolt like it's going out of style
** especially when the party walks into the middle of a giant spider den
*** especially not in a forest previously described as "overgrown... the brush and debris is almost impossible to walk through"

[Silly Name]

** Tibbets are not supposed to be secretly kender in fur onesies, and I am probably going to be banned from playing them if I wear my "team grumpy cat" t-shirt when I show my character sheet.

*** I cannot argue that every Small race is actually kenders in disguise

[Anonymouswizard]

**** Cannot point out that this all began because Warhammer 40,000 Ratlings are space halflings with additional kleptomania and hedonism, playing one as a stereotypical Kender is in character (although without the 'are good and innocent' bit).


* I cannot execute other party members for Heresy.
** No, not even if I was a Commissar.
*** Being able to do so to the Space Marine is suspect.

[BisectedBrioche]

** Tibbets are not supposed to be secretly kender in fur onesies, and I am probably going to be banned from playing them if I wear my "team grumpy cat" t-shirt when I show my character sheet.

** Tieflings are not "the new kender"

[Rater202]

I cannot do a Zelda-based Roleplay that consists of Zora, Twili, and Gorons trying to figure out why humans wear clothes.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Yes I am still banned from naturism. No, it doesn't matter if you couldn't see my naught bits anyway.
** Even as a Druid.

[JoeNapalm]

* I am not allowed to ever say "C'mon, what could possibly go wrong?"

** I am not allowed to retort to reasonable objections to the above question with "When did you guys become such sissies?"

*** I am not allowed to prefix any dangerous creature with "it's just a cute little [dragon/demon/tarrasque/kitten/etc]"

**** I am not allowed to bring up the Half-Minotaur/Half-Ogre Warforged Dungeon Crasher I rolled up as a backup character when the DM is contemplating the consequences of any potential TPK I may or may not have instigated.


* I am not allowed to state the probability of rolling consecutive Natural 1s, even if said observation cannot be scientifically proven to alter those odds.

** No rituals -- of any length or duration -- may be performed, before, during or after play, with the intent of altering probabilities.

*** No, it would not have worked, had it been allowed.



-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist

[Corey]

* I may not list "boudoir supplies" in the equipment section of my character sheet.
** On the line for rope, I may not list location as "bedroom".
** The same goes for manacles.
*** Neither the rope nor the manacles may have the descriptor "pink".

[danielxcutter]

* I may not list "boudoir supplies" in the equipment section of my character sheet.
** On the line for rope, I may not list location as "bedroom".
** The same goes for manacles.
*** Neither the rope nor the manacles may have the descriptor "pink".

**** Collars are right out.

[JoeNapalm]

**** Collars are right out.

***** These items do not grant a "Masterwork Tools" bonus to ANY skill checks, no matter how many times the question is asked.

****** Escape Artist does not have Focus or Specialization bonues.

[JoeNapalm]

* I am not allowed to say "Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure" during rescue missions.

** I am not allowed unsupervised access to nuclear weapons.

*** My imaginary childhood friend is not real, and therefore does not count as "supervision" -- he is also not a giant vorpal bunny.

**** In regards to targeting/disarming/accounting for said nuclear weapons, it is not "close enough for government work."

***** I will not shout "Broken Arrow" unless the situation demands it.

****** It is not up to me (or Mr.Snicker-Snack) to determine if the situation demands it.


* "Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money" is not an appropriate message to request aid from the Temple that hired us.

** "Wine, women & song" do not fall under "plus expenses"

*** No, the Reverend Mother does not have a "hall pass for heroes"



-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist

[KorvinStarmast]

** Tieflings are not "the new kender" Tieflings have always been 'the new emo'. :smallyuk:

* I may not list "boudoir supplies" in the equipment section of my character sheet.
** On the line for rope, I may not list location as "bedroom".
** The same goes for manacles.
*** Neither the rope nor the manacles may have the descriptor "pink". Hey, I thought this game was supposed to be fun. Hurtmebeatmemakemewritebadchecks is not a safeword

* "Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money" is not an appropriate message to request aid from the Temple that hired us. Wait, what? :smalleek: That's SOP!
* May no longer groan "Game over, man" when we are out of spells and the second wave of werebadgers begin their attack.

[Telok]

More from the "<blam!> next character" files.

Not allowed to play...

Infernal Warlock of Pelor
GOO Warlock of Ao
Cleric of Cthulhu
Cleric of Atropal
Cleric of Malal
Anything of Hello Kitty
Mr. "My positive charisma mod and proficiency totally entitles me to participate in social encounters" perma-exhausted Beserker Barbarian
Gnoll Bard named Elvis (double banned for the hip wiggling)
Orc Bard named Marylin Monroe (not even if I wear the dress to game)

[Bohandas]

* Sticking to the scientific fact that spiderwebs are flammable must take a backseat when the artificer starts casting Firebolt like it's going out of style

It's not just a fact, it's explicitly acknowledged in the game rules

"The strands of a web spell are flammable. A magic flaming sword can slash them away as easily as a hand brushes away cobwebs. Any fire can set the webs alight and burn away 5 square feet in 1 round. All creatures within flaming webs take 2d4 points of fire damage from the flames."

[Metastachydium]

Cleric of Cthulhu
(…)
Anything of Hello Kitty


Anything of Hello Cthulhu (http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/?date=2003-11-30), on the other hand…

[KorvinStarmast]

It's not just a fact, it's explicitly acknowledged in the game rules

"The strands of a web spell are flammable. A magic flaming sword can slash them away as easily as a hand brushes away cobwebs. Any fire can set the webs alight and burn away 5 square feet in 1 round. All creatures within flaming webs take 2d4 points of fire damage from the flames." One of my favorite combo platters is my warlock, using her wand, drops a web on a group of enemies which is followed by the Wizard's fireball.
1. The restrained ones in the web have dex saves at disadvantage and they each get another 2d4 damage (not saved against) on top of the fireball.
I'll speak for our DM, after about the third time we pulled this off
* I may no longer attack the party with a swarm of enemies
He doesn't; he tends to do waves and has plenty of missile firing/lobbing monsters/NPCs mixed in

[Corey]

*My bards are not allowed to play "The Freshmen Down At Yale"
* Nor "The Bastard King of England"
* Nor any other song from "The Bawdy and the Naughty"
** Even if the proper names are changed to suit the game world.
*** Especially not if the names are changed to suit the game world.

[Pauly]

*My bards are not allowed to play "The Freshman Down At Yale"
* Nor "The Bastard King of England"
* Nor any other song from "The Bawdy and the Naughty"
** Even if the proper names are changed to suit the game world.
*** Especially not if the names are changed to suit the game world.

**** Nor may they even hum the first bars of the “Sodomy” song from Meet the Feebles, no matter what Peter Jackson did later in his career.

[TeChameleon]

*My bards are not allowed to play "The Freshman Down At Yale"
* Nor "The Bastard King of England"
* Nor any other song from "The Bawdy and the Naughty"
** Even if the proper names are changed to suit the game world.
*** Especially not if the names are changed to suit the game world.
"The Hedgehog Song" and "A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End" are, however, allowed.

Once.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Cannot resolve the entire battle with one roll.
** No, not even if that's the official rules.

[Bohandas]

*My bards are not allowed to play "The Freshman Down At Yale"
* Nor "The Bastard King of England"
* Nor any other song from "The Bawdy and the Naughty"
** Even if the proper names are changed to suit the game world.
*** Especially not if the names are changed to suit the game world.
**** Nor even if they already have the same names as things in the game world as in the case of "The Great Wheel"

[KorvinStarmast]

**** Nor even if they already have the same names as things in the game world as in the case of "The Great Wheel"
* May no longer quote the engineer who had died (which cuts into some of my bard's repertoire when she plays at the lower class waterfront taverns)

** May not again treat the party to my rendition of The Good Ship Venus

[Rater202]

* Yes I am still banned from naturism. No, it doesn't matter if you couldn't see my naught bits anyway.
** Even as a Druid.

Cannot wait until the tenth session to tell the players that clothes don't exist in this setting.

[Corey]

Cannot wait until the tenth session to tell the players that clothes don't exist in this setting.

If Korvin's bard had sung them Godiva's Hymn, they might already have guessed.

[Laughing Dog]

*If me and another player are playing characters that are twins, they should probably be the same race.
**Even if they are fraternal twins.
***Especially odd if one is an aasimar, and the other is a tiefling.
****It does make for awkward family reunions, however.

[Bohandas]

*May not play a droid named THC-420
**CBD-420 has the same problem

[Wookieetank]

*May not play a droid named THC-420
**CBD-420 has the same problem

***THX-1138 while amusing, is also out

[Pauly]

*May not play a droid named THC-420
**CBD-420 has the same problem

*** Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A is not allowed for astromech droids that specialize in hacking.

[Anonymouswizard]

****(*) Encoding my droid's name in binary, while thematic, is annoying to other players.

[Telok]

* The pcs are not allowed to charm, deceive, manipulate, befriend, copy, or mind control the npc war priest with a recharge 4-6 bonus action heal.

** The npc necromancer wizard has no records, written or otherwise, of his custom spell that turns a dead body into a skeleton, a walking skin, a muscle ooze, strangling intestines, and a flying brain.

*** The pcs are supposed to be impressed with the npcs efficency and thoughtfulness, not immedately try to learn the spell or capture the npc alive.

**** The pcs are not to try to gain use of, or access to, any of the fun and "game breaking" npc abilities.

***** No longer allowed to use the established setting, dm provided fluff, logic, and dm custom monsters to accidentally make the dm rage quit.

[Socksy]

* Camarilla elders tend not to appreciate Orwell quotes.

[Bohandas]

*May not play a droid named THC-420
**CBD-420 has the same problem


***THX-1138 while amusing, is also out


*** Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A is not allowed for astromech droids that specialize in hacking.


****(*) Encoding my droid's name in binary, while thematic, is annoying to other players.

******My droid DEFINITELY can't be named BDSM-69

*******That is NOT what C-3PO meant by "human-cyborg relations"

[Wookieetank]

******My droid DEFINITELY can't be named BDSM-69

*******That is NOT what C-3PO meant by "human-cyborg relations"

I think we have our winner, well played.:smallbiggrin:

[Anonymouswizard]

******My droid DEFINITELY can't be named BDSM-69

*******That is NOT what C-3PO meant by "human-cyborg relations"

******** '01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001010 01100101 01100100 01101001 00100000 01000011 01101111 01100100 01100101 00100000 01000110 01101111 01110010 01100010 01101001 01100100 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100' is not my safeword.

[Bohandas]

*I don't care if the fellowship of the ring did it, we're not splitting the party
**If one of the fellowship jumped off a bridg...bad example...

*Star Wars is science fantasy, whereas Star Trek is serious science fiction that just happens to have a lot of psychics and gods.
**And in one memorable case a character who put a curse on the Enterprise by burning a model of it.
***Similarly, the sonic screwdriver from Dr.Who is not a magic wand
****Nor is it a cocktail

*Deep Thought did not leave off a zero
**Even if that would make the answer intelligible

*Magic rings are not a controlled substance

*Farmer Maggot's mushrooms were not hallucinogenic

[Anonymouswizard]

***Similarly, the sonic screwdriver from Dr.Who is not a magic wand.

**** I just user it for something other than driving a screw.
***** Even if I'm playing the second Doctor.


* I must stop referring to Sigmar as 'the Emperor-god of Man'.

* If none of the party are literate we can't take notes.

[KorvinStarmast]

*Farmer Maggot's mushrooms were not hallucinogenic
I beg to differ. :smallcool:

[Rockphed]

I beg to differ. :smallcool:

While I am fairly certain that Tolkien mentions hobbits' love of mushrooms, you are not the first person to suggest that farmer Maggot used his mushrooms recreationally (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KmXPcSxz2g)

[Bohandas]

*The lyre of building just has to be played. It doesn't require the user to play We Built This City on Rock & Roll specifically.

*It doesn't matter if I'm a cleric of the god of rogues, "keep your pimp hand strong" is not a commandment
**I may not swear a vow to rock and roll all night and party every day when we're doing a stealth campaign
***I may take a vow to smoke weed every day, but per the rules on page 55 of Drow of the Underdark it costs two feats to gain any sort of mechanical advantage from it

[Rater202]

I can't play a character of godlike power and then just spend eternity backpacking across the planet without ever once using my power.

[danielxcutter]

That unironically sounds like a fun concept.

[noob]

I can't play a character of godlike power and then just spend eternity backpacking across the planet without ever once using my power.

* Even if it would make sense in character if you were a dnd deity.

[Anonymouswizard]

* The Spellplague was not due to Mystara going on here gap year.

[Lord Raziere]

* may not make a book entitled "Dark Arts For Beginners"
** may not use it to teach impressionable people to summon cute harmless demons
*** May not use it as a part of a long term plan to corrupt them into summoning more and more harmful demons over time
**** My evil master plan may not consist of making bad things initially cute and harmless to popularize them and then gradually making people slide into the darker stuff once they get a taste.

[Bohandas]

* may not make a book entitled "Dark Arts For Beginners"

You should cross-post that to What's On The Shelf (https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?483064-What-s-on-the-Shelf-1001-Essays-Treatises-and-Books-on-Magic)

[Wookieetank]

* may not make a book entitled "Dark Arts For Beginners"
** may not use it to teach impressionable people to summon cute harmless demons
*** May not use it as a part of a long term plan to corrupt them into summoning more and more harmful demons over time
**** My evil master plan may not consist of making bad things initially cute and harmless to popularize them and then gradually making people slide into the darker stuff once they get a taste.

*****Doing so in a pokemon campaign is right out.

[Socksy]

* Pentex does not have plans to be carbon-neutral by 2022.

[Bohandas]

*Ghouls in Call of Cthulhu do not talk like Beaker from The Muppets
**Even if Lovecraft did describe them as talking in "meep"s

* **** pics are not named after Richard Pickman

*"Yith" is spelled with a "th"

*The band Phish was not founded in Insmouth

*Yig does not have weekend custody of all the world's snakes
**Yig does not owe my boa constrictor child support

[Telok]

**Yig does not owe my boa constrictor child support

I'd suggest finding a sleazy lawyer and trying to collect anyways. Either you get something or there's one less sleazy lawyer in the world. Win/win.

From the world of "if I promise not to use that random encounter chart will you take the handcuffs off?", random encounters I may no longer use:

* ninja volcano
* titanic dire mosquito swarm
* the Inquisition
* the other Inquisition
* drop bears
* Elvis Presley
* Pelvis Parsley
* Slaneesh vs Lolth oil wrestling
* bouncing kamungas
* half dragon, half troll, half wombat, half plataypus, half tasmanian devil, kangaroo fairys

[Rater202]

*I can't play a transhumanist who used a combination of genetic engineering, cybernetics, nanomachines, biomechanics, and technoorganics to turn themselves into a waifish faelike being of incredible power.
**This goes double in settings where the Fair Folk explicitly doesn't exist.
***Tripple in settings where they explicitly do.

[Bohandas]

* ninja volcano

Is the volcano a ninja or do ninjas come out of the volcano?

[danielxcutter]

*I can't play a transhumanist who used a combination of genetic engineering, cybernetics, nanomachines, biomechanics, and technoorganics to turn themselves into a waifish faelike being of incredible power.
**This goes double in settings where the Fair Folk explicitly doesn't exist.
***Tripple in settings where they explicitly do.

I legitimately do not see a problem with this.

[Rater202]

Is the volcano a ninja or do ninjas come out of the volcano?
The Ninja can generate fire, smoke, lava, and corrosive byproducts of tectonic activity.

I legitimately do not see a problem with this.1: This is assuming a sic-fi setting where a childlike puckish trickster isn't on brand.

This goes double if you're filling a role that doesn't exist in the setting.

And The Fair Folk do not take kindly to mockery, so if they exist explicitly it's just a bad idea.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm not sure the True Fae really care enough to bother. Like, they basically do the same thing when they make Changelings.

* My tailor Wizened may use their powers to spin clothes into sodium. But I may not do it while they're being worn.
** The fact that I can make high quality clothes off of literal rubbish is not a justification for doing so.
*** This is the reason why all of the courts kicked me out.

[Lord Raziere]

The Ninja can generate fire, smoke, lava, and corrosive byproducts of tectonic activity.


* May not claim this is only slightly more pyromania than the average ninja
** ninja may not be accurately described as "spies with a tendency towards pyromania"
*** Nor may spies be accurately described as "ninjas if modern tech"

* May not attempt to establish a consistent model of superhero physics across franchises
** Mostly because this may in fact, make me go mad from the revelation
*** The First Law is not "The only true constant is the Author-God, all else is variable"
**** The Second Law is not "What becomes super, often stays super"
***** The Third Law is not "What dies, tends to return."
****** The Fourth Law is not "As the improbability of the scenario increases, so does the chances of success"

[Rater202]

* May not claim this is only slightly more pyromania than the average ninja
** ninja may not be accurately described as "spies with a tendency towards pyromania"
*** Nor may spies be accurately described as "ninjas if modern tech"

*May not do years of research on all forms of ninja-powers and combine them in order to make myself a transcendental being in order to create the "best fire."
**I cannot obtain the power of the greatest of all fires, intense enough to obliterate all matter in a star system, solely to say that I can.

[KorvinStarmast]

*Ghouls in Call of Cthulhu do not talk like Beaker from The Muppets
**Even if Lovecraft did describe them as talking in "meep"s That got a RL cackle out of me.

*The band Phish was not founded in Insmouth Say it ain't so! :smalleek:

[Rockphed]

Say it ain't so! :smalleek:

Insmouth, you say? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tTHn2tHhcI)

[Anonymouswizard]

* I have enuff dakka.

[DrewID]

*May not base any character solely and entirely off of any song/skit by Tom Lehrer or Monty Python.
**May not play any character who is in a skit/song by Tom Lehrer or Monty Python.
***May not play Tom Lehrer, or any member of Monty Python.

DrewID

[dspeyer]

* Just because a class of objects exists in setting does not mean the PCs have to steal one
** Even in Blades in the Dark
*** Especially if the class of objects is "stars"

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may no longer dive off of a ship into a portal into another dimension without first casting Heroes Feast for the Party. :smalleek:

** I may no longer ask our Bladelock "Uh, wait, didn't I cast freedom of movement on you?" before we engage with a many tentacled monster ... :smalleek:

[noob]

* Just because a class of objects exists in setting does not mean the PCs have to steal one
** Even in Blades in the Dark
*** Especially if the class of objects is "stars"

**** The heist for an actor did not end up with everyone dying within a 50 meters radius from a poorly planned grenade throw.

[Lord Raziere]

* my vampire death knight's response to bandits may not be "slay them all, raise them as undead and command them to guard the innocent village forevermore."
** may not offer vampire immortality to every girl I meet as a pickup line
*** May not play "Magus Confronted" every time I get into combat
**** My form of hunting does not consist of going and draining the life force or blood of the first deer I see as sustenance.
***** may not respond to paladins with "Yeah sure but at least I'm not Heaven's glorified errand boy"
****** My character goal doesn't consist of looking darkly stylish while slaughtering evil people in droves with a zombie army.
******* May not encounter another knight with an army of demons and proclaim "finally a worthy opponent! our battle will be legendary!"

[danielxcutter]

Huh, guessing this isn't D&D since death knights and vampires are different creatures?

[Lord Raziere]

Huh, guessing this isn't D&D since death knights and vampires are different creatures?

I long ago stopped caring whether it was DnD. its kind of based on the WoW Death knight but I'm not referring to any specific universe. I just wanted to play a death knight today but can't and also want to play some heroic vampire at point, so I did this instead.

* My vampire's superhero name is not "Sangui-Woman"
** Sangui-Knight? No.
*** Sanguis? Maybe
**** Crimson Cape? No.
***** Nightfang? No.
****** "Lesbites" while accurate, is not appropriate
******* Bloody Justice might be a bit TOO violent....
******** Maybe just call her Miss Vampire? is that taken already?

[Telok]

* Not allowed to call the kilometer long starship strafing the battle with magic-nuclear torpedoes "close air support".
** Also not allowed to start play with more than one such starship, no matter how much starting xp I dump into the backgrounds.
*** Using magic to cheat survive direct nuclear hits at first level is just rude. Legit by the rules, but rude.


I long ago stopped caring whether it was DnD. its kind of based on the WoW Death knight but I'm not referring to any specific universe. I just wanted to play a death knight today but can't and also want to play some heroic vampire at point, so I did this instead.

Come to dark side... Dungeons the Dragoning has cookies.

[Lord Raziere]

Come to dark side... Dungeons the Dragoning has cookies.

I already did! I tried to play with two different groups one after another, they both died, the first after few months the other I think faster. and after I worked out the best backgrounds for vampire feeding to....

* May not insist that a DtD Vampire needs Followers 2, Holdings 2 to function
** May not imply that if the foe hasn't fallen apart a week after you sliced with them with a chainsword, that you have not mastered fantasy hyper-iaijutsu
*** May not become a tiefling elfaboo follower of corellon just to get the best katanas. (yes this is an actual thing in DtD)
**** despite it being recommended by my first group, I don't actually need the Mark of Tzeentch to have a functional sorcerer
***** But it would be funny to take it anyways and just cast spells for everything anyways without caring about the consequences.

[Rater202]

I long ago stopped caring whether it was DnD. its kind of based on the WoW Death knight but I'm not referring to any specific universe. I just wanted to play a death knight today but can't and also want to play some heroic vampire at point, so I did this instead.

* My vampire's superhero name is not "Sangui-Woman"
** Sangui-Knight? No.
*** Sanguis? Maybe
**** Crimson Cape? No.
***** Nightfang? No.
****** "Lesbites" while accurate, is not appropriate
******* Bloody Justice might be a bit TOO violent....
******** Maybe just call her Miss Vampire? is that taken already?

*May not play a demon girl banished from the demon world for not being evil enough.
**Her goal cannot be to acquire enough energy to power herself up to the point that she can brute force her way back.
***She cannot deliberately set her up as the Superman to Raz's Vampire's Batman.

[Lord Raziere]

Batman archetype seems good, but also mix in some Spiderman for me. Vampire drinking blood is always a classic reason to have someone after you and to have a bad rep, and the JJJ can be a vampire hunter. its more solid to me than most bad reps.

* Spiderman's M&M complications aren't "J. Jonah Jameson", "My Loved Ones Keep Dying", and "My Writers keep acting as if I'm in high school."
** Batman's M&M complications aren't "My parents are DEEEEEEAAAAAD!!!", "No Killing!", "Women in costume are irresistible to me", "My Robins keep dying", "Joker thinks we're a couple, he's wrong.", "My writers keep portraying me as more violent and thuggish than I should be.", "I claim to work alone to my vast social network of friends" and "I don't know the meaning of being hospitalized. or rest."

* my other superhero concepts cannot consist of "lofi-blasting skater girl" or "jazz blasting motorcyclist"
** may not be a super who uses the power of "Zero" to do things like "Zero Distance" to teleport, "Zero Death" to be immortal, "Zero Solidity" to be incorporeal....
*** May not replicate the Kamui powerset
**** may not combine Kamui with Za Warudo and Unlimited Blade Works

[Rater202]

I can't unironically rip off Kill La Kill for my superhero concept.

[Lord Raziere]

I can't unironically rip off Kill La Kill for my superhero concept.

I mean thats what Referential Cosplay Style is: being empowered by clothing to be super-powerful in anime-tastic way. Just without the parasite thing and made to be more flexible. Jade is basically magic cosplay Batman. the only flaw is that she doesn't have a consistent aesthetic or costume which doesn't lend well to being an iconic superhero which live or die on having a consistent design that stands out in peoples minds.

* My new idea isn't "Superhero Strategy" where supers using superpowers to create and battle with armies for the fate of the world
** The available super armies are not "tyranid/zerg clone with humanoid hive queen.", "mad scientist with robot army", "mafia boss/supervillain with normal goons", "clone army superhero", "chrono superhero who summons armies from across time", "mutant school", "SHIELD clone", "necromancer with zombies", "elemental gangs", "martial artist with ninja army", and "sorcerer with demon army"
*** Even if now that I think it, a Superhero Strategy game would solve a LOT of problems with superheroes.

[Rater202]

I mean thats what Referential Cosplay Style is: being empowered by clothing to be super-powerful in anime-tastic way. Just without the parasite thing and made to be more flexible. Jade is basically magic cosplay Batman. the only flaw is that she doesn't have a consistent aesthetic or costume which doesn't lend well to being an iconic superhero which live or die on having a consistent design that stands out in peoples minds.

I meant more along the lines of "power through lack of shame represented by acting normal and confident while wearing scandalously revealing clothing... Also, you're immortal due to being fused with alien parasites at birth."

[Lord Raziere]

Legends of the Wulin stuff:
* May not rename "Divine Pattern Long-Strokes" to "Spin to Win With Spear Style"
** Flying Red Silk stylists are not all power bottoms
*** Subtle Force is a style about peace and subduing your opponent nonlethally. not humiliating them by tricking the opponent into hurting themselves in various ways.
**** Fire Sutra maybe the Firebender Style, but having a burn scar on the left side of my face is not a requirement.
***** Jade Spirit Sword is not Fantasy Hyper-Iaijutsu and I do not have to do a bunch of impossible things to master it.
****** Removing Concepts is not the "Win By Doing Nothing" Style.
******* nor is Unstained Lotus Mastery just Fist of the North Star Style.

[Bohandas]

*While it is true that the shining trapezohedron is black yet luminous and shows images that can only be seen in the dark, this does not automatically make it a smartphone or a TV

[Lord Raziere]

* May not point out that skateboards and rollerskates are actually conceptually low tech when you think about it
** May not try justify the existence of skateboarders and skaters in medieval fantasy
*** Especially not if its to make a bunch of skateboarding bards.
**** Or worse make a school of monks that teaches a martial arts style based on skating.
***** May not point out that magic could probably easily make up for any modern materials used to make skateboards/skates function

* May not point out Exalted could also plausibly have both skates and skateboards in both mundane and artifact versions
** Dragon-Blooded Dynast teenagers don't go skating around the Imperial city over the peasants they rule while shouting "totally gnarly!"
*** skateboards and skates aren't fallen mundane attempts at replicating Solar Exalted hoverboards and gliding shoes of the first age in some small way.

* Dungeons the Dragoning however definitely probably has skateboarding and skating adventurers and you can totally play a skateboarding adventurer there.

* may not wonder how low tech you have to be to invent bicycles.

[Rater202]

* May not point out that skateboards and rollerskates are actually conceptually low tech when you think about it
** May not try justify the existence of skateboarders and skaters in medieval fantasy
*** Especially not if its to make a bunch of skateboarding bards.
**** Or worse make a school of monks that teaches a martial arts style based on skating.
***** May not point out that magic could probably easily make up for any modern materials used to make skateboards/skates function

* May not point out Exalted could also plausibly have both skates and skateboards in both mundane and artifact versions
** Dragon-Blooded Dynast teenagers don't go skating around the Imperial city over the peasants they rule while shouting "totally gnarly!"
*** skateboards and skates aren't fallen mundane attempts at replicating Solar Exalted hoverboards and gliding shoes of the first age in some small way.

* Dungeons the Dragoning however definitely probably has skateboarding and skating adventurers and you can totally play a skateboarding adventurer there.

* may not wonder how low tech you have to be to invent bicycles.

*My Getimani can't be a from Exalted verses The World od Darkness and invent skateboards, bicycles, and the like as part of my efforts to build an army to forcibly modernize this anachronistic world I've woken up in.
**Cannot create custom charms based on selectively imposing Consensus Reality and/or real-life Physics on Creation whenever it is to my benefit.
***There is no conceivable way that in the aborted destiny that resulted in the specific incarnation of Exalted vs The World of Darkness that was my non-existent past, that I was friends with Caine.

[noob]

* may not wonder how low tech you have to be to invent bicycles.

The first bicycles did not need tech beyond wheels.(but without a light and strong material like iron or bronze or whatever bicycles are not even worth as novelties)
They also were not nearly as good: you had to touch the ground to make it move and it did not move fast.
They are definitively not what you imagine when you ask if there is bicycles.

[Lord Raziere]

The first bicycles did not need tech beyond wheels.(but without a light and strong material like iron or bronze or whatever bicycles are not even worth as novelties)
They also were not nearly as good: you had to touch the ground to make it move and it did not move fast.
They are definitively not what you imagine when you ask if there is bicycles.

* May not repeat pointing out that magic could solve the whole materials problem
** and the speed problem
*** stop trying to introduce modern low-tech into fantasy

* The group's soldier may not turn out to be a Eclipse Caste Solar Exalted because he is actually a logistician and quartermaster adept at navigating military regulations and resolving disputes between soldiers and generals alike
** the group's diplomat/courtier may not turn out to be Dawn Caste Solar Exalted because she is more talented at three unarmed martial arts designed to be used in court politics, assassination and subterfuge rather than actual diplomacy
*** the group's priest may not turn out to be a Twilight Caste because learning about spiritual matters only inspired her to learn more and poke and prod at it to investigate it rather than give her faith and ideals to inspire others with.
**** the group's blacksmith may not out to be a Night Caste who uses their blacksmithing skills to make tools to help with their much more profitable criminal enterprises.
***** the groups Zenith Caste may not be a cynical intellectual who spouts off philosophy while drinking while making sure people don't do stupid things with logic and reason.

[Telok]

* A Saddle of Levitation and a barrel enchanted with Gust of Wind, a speeder bike does not make.
** No commandeering Baba Yaga's hut and calling it an At-At.
*** Suggestion, Jump, slow fall, immunity to being surprised, and a sun blade do not make me a D&D Jedi.
**** Variations of "Thou shalt get thy Star Wars the **** out my D&D." is not cause for me to shout "Bingo!" and claim I won.

[DeTess]

** No commandeering Baba Yaga's hut and calling it an At-At.

***May not point out that, as the hut is frequently shown with only two legs, it would be an AT-ST instead

[Anonymouswizard]

* Bards are not Jaegermonsters.

[thorr-kan]

* Bards are not Jaegermonsters.
**But Jaegermonsters think they are bards.
***(And just enough Jaegermonsters *are* bards that it keeps the rest of them deluded into believing they are, too.)
****(I'm looking at you, Oggie. Just because you've got the descendants doesn't mean these other schmoes will.)

[Bohandas]

*The Necronomicon was not the inspiration for Facebook

[Rockphed]

*The Necronomicon was not the inspiration for Facebook

** The Necrotelecomnicon is not a Facebook feed.

[Rater202]

*I can't play an Exalted vs The world of Darkness revised addition Liminel if I'm going to be creepy about it.
**"Creepy about it" in this case means taking the vampire "child" flaw and the Born in Blood merit on a Blood Aspect, justifying it by saying that her creator kidnapped a bubbly child pageant winner, a sweet-tempered academic, and a tomboyish athlete for "ingredients" and throwing them together in a cauldron of vampire blood as part of a hedge magic ritual to create "the perfect little girl."
***As an aside, the Born in Blood merit is explicitly forbidden to Liminals.
****Describing her as a pale skinned girl with long stringy black hair wearing a long white gown and no shoes and playing up her Aspect markins(pale skin and stagnant water) and anima banner(scarlet energy that flowing down the body in trails of fluid only to immediately evaporate into a crimson mist that exudes the smell of metal) for all their worth don't help.
*****My lifeline intricacy being "Find 'daddy' and ask him why I was created" is putting a hat on a hat at this point.
******Haven't I already been banned from playing creepy children?
*******My creator can not be "Professor Utonium as a dark wizard" down to sharing his basic personality and mannerism.

[danielxcutter]

I have no idea how I managed to suspect "Powerpuff Girls" after the second or so part, but I did.

[Rater202]

I have no idea how I managed to suspect "Powerpuff Girls" after the second or so part, but I did.

I mean, the motivation was described as "create the perfect little girl" and two of the ingredients are just flat-out descriptions of two of the girls while the third was described as bubbly.

[Anonymouswizard]

**But Jaegermonsters think they are bards.
***(And just enough Jaegermonsters *are* bards that it keeps the rest of them deluded into believing they are, too.)
****(I'm looking at you, Oggie. Just because you've got the descendants doesn't mean these other schmoes will.)

To be fair we don't know if Jaegers are fertile. Also while Oggie is a Bard Dimo possibly head enough intelligence to multiclass to Wizard even without reaching the General stage.

Actually, I did back the Girl Genius RPG Kickstarter, so I'll be interested in March to find out if Jaegers can be Sparks.

[Bohandas]

*Having been killed by an attack dog does not make Wilbur Whateley "the wussiest demigod ever"

EDIT:

*Onions do not have grenade launchers. You're getting Shrek and Quake mixed up again.

[KorvinStarmast]

*Onions do not have grenade launchers. You're getting Shrek and Quake mixed up again. I love this! :smallsmile:

Things I may not do again:
* Drop Hypnotic Pattern down on top of the NPC and me, and the pack of wolves that just swarmed me and the NPC who I am supposed to protect. (Disadvantage against my own spell save DC of 19 went as expected-fail!)
** Look expectantly at our SorcLock so that he remembers to drop one of his eldritch blasts onto me (his ally) so that I can "snap out of it."
*** Dimension Door away with the NPC while our Hexblade is getting swarmed under by a pack of dire wolves and some demon mounted on a nightmare
(It all worked out in the end, but there were some calls of "Uh, could use a little help here, dedicated support caster!" :smallfurious: from my allies).

[TeChameleon]

To be fair we don't know if Jaegers are fertile. Also while Oggie is a Bard Dimo possibly head enough intelligence to multiclass to Wizard even without reaching the General stage.
Jaegers are fertile- Oggie didn't get into a relationship/married until post-Jaegerdraught, and we know he had a lot of kids. It was shown in the flashback when he was talking to Zeetha about being in a relationship with a Jaeger.

[Anonymouswizard]

Jaegers are fertile- Oggie didn't get into a relationship/married until post-Jaegerdraught, and we know he had a lot of kids. It was shown in the flashback when he was talking to Zeetha about being in a relationship with a Jaeger.

Huh, honestly only recently got back into the comic. I swear I read somewhere* that Oggie conceived at least one kid before marriage. Of course that doesn't rule out post-Jaegerdaught children, just makes them not a strictly necessity.

Honestly though I'm not overly interested in Jaeger fertility, if it's not recommitting spelt out in the Girl Genius RPG then we can probably assume that it doesn't change.

* I'm fairly certain it was TV Tropes, witch tends to be relatively reliable.

[TeChameleon]

Huh, honestly only recently got back into the comic. I swear I read somewhere* that Oggie conceived at least one kid before marriage. Of course that doesn't rule out post-Jaegerdaught children, just makes them not a strictly necessity.

Honestly though I'm not overly interested in Jaeger fertility, if it's not recommitting spelt out in the Girl Genius RPG then we can probably assume that it doesn't change.

* I'm fairly certain it was TV Tropes, witch tends to be relatively reliable.

Oop- turns out my memory was faulty, Oggie's first kid with his wife was pre-Jagerdraught, although they had plenty of kids after (as seen here (https://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20200415)). Not a big deal, just don't like perpetrating misinformation (even about things as trivial as this :smalltongue:)

[SpyOne]

I, too, have certain compulsions about trivial things:
That lady, a normal human, was an adult when she concieved Oggie's first child, and then went away for ten years. She would not have many years left where childbearing was an option.
That last panel seems to be shortly after her passing, so her youngest possible child would be about 50 then. One or two of them might be that age, but really they all look younger than that.
I think that nobody in that picture is one of Oggie's children, they are his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

And we have no idea if Jagers can sire children after becoming Jagers.

[Bohandas]

*Girl Genius jagermonsters are not to be conflated with GWAR jagermonstas

EDIT:

*animal sacrifice is not "like when your dog drops a dead squirrel at your feet"

[Telok]

The other people at the table only get the wrong idea when you mention nuclear powered support undergarments.

[Lord Raziere]

* There is no such thing as "Ragelightenment"
** It is not when you get so angry at the entire world you find a measure of peace in fury and can both be furious and at peace with the world at the same time
*** I do not know what Banner meant in Avengers when he said he was "always angry"
**** Nor do I understand how Banner achieved his hulk fusion in Endgame.

* may not start with "a Hinata that doesn't need no man" and end with "speedster hyuuga teleporter assassin ninja on par with Minato"

* may not start with "cynical lesbian cyborg with energy draining hands" and end with "paragon superheroine who fights using cosplay martial arts whose ultimate form is Asriel Dreamurr from Undertale"

[danielxcutter]

...I only get about half of those references, can you enlighten me?

[Lord Raziere]

...I only get about half of those references, can you enlighten me?

first few is just me making a joke about tranquil fury with some avengers references thrown in

the second is just referencing Hinata Hyuuga (a shy demure, cute and compassionate girl) while a character I like has no real motivation beyond being in love with Naruto. Minato is the Fourth Hokage and is basically both incredibly fast and has a power to teleport around and was so deadly in war his enemies told their soldiers to run from him on sight.

the third is just me referencing a character I play and making a joke about how you'd never someone imagine as cynical and snarky as her to fight using cosplay from something as idealistic as Undertale's pacifist route. Asriel in specific, is a final boss goat-guy who turns into a rainbow angel to fight you in the most anime-tastic fight of the game.

* may not explain the joke.

[Anonymouswizard]

The other people at the table only get the wrong idea when you mention nuclear powered support undergarments.

I mean, presumably this is aabout having a fission reactor in your knickers so that you can recharge your raygun in emergency situations.

* Explosive undergarments are to be removed before use.
** Even if the Fighter is perfectly positioned.

[KorvinStarmast]

* May no longer burn another charge from the wand of paralysis, on an air elemental, after the DM has pointed out that the earth elemental didn't need to roll a save versus the wand when I tried to zapp it with the wand.
(Look, I was subbing in for the evoker's usual player. Am I really supposed to know all of the fiddly bits, like elementals being immune to the paralyzed condition?
** may no longer urinate into the lead coffin, immediately after the cleric opens it.
(Was playing for the Barbarian during the previous session, and it seemed like a good idea at the time)

[Rater202]

There is no degree of transhumanism or supernatural power that excludes me from the need to wear pants.

[danielxcutter]

There is no degree of transhumanism or supernatural power that excludes me from the need to wear pants.

**Dresses may or may not be acceptable.
***Look, just cover up your naughty parts with something, alright?

[Tohron]

***Look, just cover up your naughty parts with something, alright?

****Eunuchs are not excluded from this rule

[KorvinStarmast]

**Dresses may or may not be acceptable.
***Look, just cover up your naughty parts with something, alright?
A kilt isn't a dress, and it may even be stylish. :smallcool: For warmer climes, a toga may suffice.

[Rater202]

*If I find a genie that actually grants wishes to the best of it's ability without actively trying to screw you, I can't use my three wishes on "fast, secure, and reliable internet access on all my devices. For the heating and air conditioning in my house to always work properly. solar panels on my house that will never need to be repaired or replaced."
**'Becuase simple quality of life things like that are less likely to go wrong than something big' is not an excuse.

[danielxcutter]

Has anyone thought that if it’s possible and the genie isn’t an ass, they want to free them?

[Bohandas]

*Bardic magic does not give me control over the elements of earth, wind, and fire

[danielxcutter]

I’m pretty sure it literally can with the right build, actually.

[Anonymouswizard]

*If I find a genie that actually grants wishes to the best of it's ability without actively trying to screw you, I can't use my three wishes on "fast, secure, and reliable internet access on all my devices. For the heating and air conditioning in my house to always work properly. solar panels on my house that will never need to be repaired or replaced."
**'Becuase simple quality of life things like that are less likely to go wrong than something big' is not an excuse.

You have enough wishes left? I thought wish one would be good you not to have to wear pants.

[thorr-kan]

Has anyone thought that if it’s possible and the genie isn’t an ass, they want to free them?
I run an 2E Al-Qadim campaign, heavy on the genies. The consequences-free wishes are often offered after the genie has been freed. So it's not necessary to free them.

[Bohandas]

*The rat-thing from Dreams In The Witch House did not go on to become Mickey Mouse

[Telok]

*The rat-thing from Dreams In The Witch House did not go on to become Mickey Mouse

Oh yay, a new headcannon.

* The phrase "possession is 9/10s of the law" is apparently insufficent when discovered in bed with the mayor's significant other.

[danielxcutter]

Oh yay, a new headcannon.

* The phrase "possession is 9/10s of the law" is apparently insufficent when discovered in bed with the mayor's significant other.

**Being a ghost doesn't help with it.

[Rater202]

The solution to a group of hostile werewolves meeting in the field outside my town is not "charge into their circle atop a suped-up ATV, brandishing a giant-ass anime sword, while a jury-rigged boombox/iPod hybrid is stapped to the back and is blaring a constant loop of heavy metal version of the King of The Hill theme at ear-injuring volume."

[Anonymouswizard]

* The villain's password is not 'incorrect' and I should stop typing it in and make a hacking roll.


* It doesn't matter if the rules say that transforming destroys them, my werewolf must still wear trousers.

[Rockphed]

* The villain's password is not 'incorrect' and I should stop typing it in and make a hacking roll.


* It doesn't matter if the rules say that transforming destroys them, my werewolf must still wear trousers.

** Continued mentions of my trouserless state with a creepy smirk will result in my losing spell slots to summon up pants.

[TeChameleon]

* When faced with a difficult battle, made more difficult by everyone needing to control three PCs at once, the correct response is not 'bring in more than a dozen familiars, summons, awakened trees, etc.'
* Speaking of difficult battles, I am no longer allowed to turn a tough boss fight into a single failed Charisma check.
* I am also no longer allowed to forget about having one of the only reliable sources of radiant damage in the party

[Anonymouswizard]

** Continued mentions of my trouserless state with a creepy smirk will result in my losing spell slots to summon up pants.

*** Or Rites slots to learn the Rite of Dedication, as appropriate.

Was actually thinking more Werewolf: the Apocalypse/Forsaken 1e, where a character has to spend build resources for the party to retain access to clothes when transforming back. The main benefit was actually retaining access to your phone and wallet, which required limiting it to just trousers.

I suspect that a lot of lady Uratha have spare t-shirts stuffed in their back pockets. Although 2e made it relates to Harmony instead of a rite and removed the need to limit it to one garment to keep your stuff.

On that note:
* My characters are not allowed to have nudity taboos that differ from the country we're playing in.
** Even if they make practical sender.

[Bohandas]

* When faced with a difficult battle, made more difficult by everyone needing to control three PCs at once, the correct response is not 'bring in more than a dozen ... awakened trees, etc.'

**The fact that they did it in Lord of the Rings is not an excuse

[Rockphed]

**The fact that they did it in Lord of the Rings is not an excuse

LOTR didn't bring in awakened trees to help a battle. They brought in an angry forest to cut off the orcs' retreat.

[Eldan]

That was a unit of treants casting Liveoak, obviously. So they are technically animated trees.

[Anonymouswizard]

**The fact that they did it in Lord of the Rings is not an excuse

*** Not even if the trees are singing.
**** I'm still banned from singing.

[thorr-kan]

*** Not even if the trees are singing.
**** I'm still banned from singing.
*****My singing voice has been declared a "cruel and unusual punishment" as defined by the Geneva Conventions (IRL!). Any attempt to open up that can of bardic whup-@$$ will result in authorized responses up to, and including, player vs. player violence and WMDs.

My Voice Is Not A Toy.

So, my bards are instrumentalists, chanters, or orators. I can fake those.

[Rater202]

*I can not use my godlike powers over death to summon forth the ghosts of every pig ever slaughtered in Chicago's historic meatpacking district to form a massive army of spirits.

[Bohandas]

*Losing all sanity in Call of Cthulhu does not force your character to become a politician
**Or a Hollywood actor

[KorvinStarmast]

*I can not use my godlike powers over death to summon forth the ghosts of every pig ever slaughtered in Chicago's historic meatpacking district to form a massive army of spirits. **Must play Pink Floyd's Pigs on the Wing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X7vBB8SggA) while this army of porcine spirits invades London. Or maybe play Pigs (https://youtu.be/2Okd3Oyii7E): it has a more dire tone to it.

[Bohandas]

*The Great Old Ones do not live in a rest home in Florida
**Neither do the Elder Gods

[thorr-kan]

*The Great Old Ones do not live in a rest home in Florida
**Neither do the Elder Gods
Of course not.

***Elder Ones and The Great Old Ones live in a rest home in Louisiana.

[Rater202]

Just because I have a charm called Unlimited Murder Works, that doesn't mean I have to recite an aria every. Single. Time.

[Anonymouswizard]

Just because I have a charm called Unlimited Murder Works, that doesn't mean I have to recite an aria every. Single. Time.

Whoever's running this game is a spoilsport.

* Saber is not a pornomancer.
** Even if she gets her magic in the same way.

[danielxcutter]

Whoever's running this game is a spoilsport.

* Saber is not a pornomancer.
** Even if she gets her magic in the same way.

Tbh it wasn't just Saber, also that stuff got phased out a lot once the Fate franchise really kicked off.

[Anonymouswizard]

Tbh it wasn't just Saber, also that stuff got phased out a lot once the Fate franchise really kicked off.

Depends which route, I believe that a different character benefits from a mana transfer ritual in each.

Honestly, I'm a bit torn over the phasing out. I fully agree with removing the scenes, but the fact that this is a Thing That Can Work was a nice world building element. Plus we end up with Rin in her underwear for no reason, just go nudge nudge wink wink and cut to the next scene.

[Socksy]

* Not allowed to start with a Willpower of 10 as a VtM fledgling unless I have very good reason.
** Definitely not allowed to start with a Willpower of 10 as any Rogue Trader character, regardless of reason.

[danielxcutter]

* Not allowed to start with a Willpower of 10 as a VtM fledgling unless I have very good reason.
** Definitely not allowed to start with a Willpower of 10 as any Rogue Trader character, regardless of reason.

...Is that high or low?

[Anonymouswizard]

...Is that high or low?

High in WoD(/CofD), the maximum you can get in WoD if I'm not mistaken. The average human has 2-3 (3-5 in CofD).

In Rogue Trader it's very, very low. Normally characters can't begin with less than 25 or 27 (depending on generation methoc), even in Dark Heresy I don't think you can have less than 22RAW. This is before Homeworld modifiers, but those are +/-5. The average human has about 30.

In both games high Willpower can be very useful. I believe it makes you next to impossible to Dominate in every version of Vampire, for starters.

[Socksy]

...Is that high or low?

10 Willpower is the maximum in the game in VtM, which uses d10s, and is about half of the minimum in the game for Rogue Trader, which uses d100s.

[danielxcutter]

High in WoD(/CofD), the maximum you can get in WoD if I'm not mistaken. The average human has 2-3 (3-5 in CofD).

In Rogue Trader it's very, very low. Normally characters can't begin with less than 25 or 27 (depending on generation methoc), even in Dark Heresy I don't think you can have less than 22RAW. This is before Homeworld modifiers, but those are +/-5. The average human has about 30.

In both games high Willpower can be very useful. I believe it makes you next to impossible to Dominate in every version of Vampire, for starters.

Oh right, I remember that TTS special in Warhammer Fantasy.

...Damnit, now I made myself sad. ;w;

[Laughing Dog]

*The incantation for Baleful Polymorph is not "Ka-Ox!"
**Wild Shape has no incantation, and even if it did, it would not be "Ka-Bear!"
***The incantation for Plant Growth is not "Ka-Bloom!"
****The incantation for Power Word: Kill is not "Ka-Dead!"
*****Fine, the incantation for Fireball is "Kaboom!"

[KorvinStarmast]

* I my no longer attempt to melee with an archduke of hell (CR 24) when I am playing a lore bard. (She got turned into a statue of gold with a single swing of his money bag/gold purse. You could say that he has the Midas touch, and that it's as close to becoming a Solid Gold Dancer as my lore bard will ever get).
** I may no longer let my contingency spell expire (It has a ten day shelf life, which I re-learned to my chagrin during that same battle)
*** I may no longer attune the flame tongue (Lore Bard again) rather than the ring of evasion that allows me to make any dex save I fail (up to to 3 times per day). I fail dex saves a lot; it's a thing with this character.

[Anonymouswizard]

* It is bad form to point out that the default starting equipment includes no clothing.

[danielxcutter]

* I my no longer attempt to melee with an archduke of hell (CR 24) when I am playing a lore bard. (She got turned into a statue of gold with a single swing of his money bag/gold purse. You could say that he has the Midas touch, and that it's as close to becoming a Solid Gold Dancer as my lore bard will ever get).
** I may no longer let my contingency spell expire (It has a ten day shelf life, which I re-learned to my chagrin during that same battle)
*** I may no longer attune the flame tongue (Lore Bard again) rather than the ring of evasion that allows me to make any dex save I fail (up to to 3 times per day). I fail dex saves a lot; it's a thing with this character.

…Mammon? I think PF’s version does something like that.


* It is bad form to point out that the default starting equipment includes no clothing.

I thought a lot did.

[Anonymouswizard]

I thought a lot did.

A lot of designers just forget, but you're right that most do put a note in somewhere. Still amusing when it happens.

[Silly Name]

* It is bad form to point out that the default starting equipment includes no clothing.

For D&D 5e? You're correct, but that's because set of clothes are provided by your Background's Equipment, not your class' starting equipment. Or were you referencing some other system?

[Anonymouswizard]

For D&D 5e? You're correct, but that's because set of clothes are provided by your Background's Equipment, not your class' starting equipment. Or were you referencing some other system?

I was referring to a couple of other games I've seen. Admittedly it's only intentional in The Burning Wheel.

[BisectedBrioche]

* The harpies' eggs were intended as treasure or food, not for your character to adopt!

[Bohandas]

*Cubone is not "the Ed Gein pokemon"

[Anonymouswizard]

* My class is not 'elf'.
** Or 'warrior-elf'.
*** I am to use the same rulebook as everybody else.

[Milodiah]

*If the lizard monsters' venom turns out to be a powerful hallucinogen, not allowed to start selling it on a large scale to enemy cities to weaken them.
**If my argument for being allowed to do something is "well the British Empire did it", I am not allowed to do that thing.
***East India Company is not one of the squares on the alignment chart, and even if it were I'm not allowed to be that. I'm already bad enough as Lawful Evil.

[Bohandas]

*Werewolves are not vulnerable to Coors Light

[danielxcutter]

Do I want to know what that is?

[TeChameleon]

Coors Light is a beer(-ish?) with the advertising slogan 'the silver bullet'.

[Eldan]

* My class is not 'elf'.
** Or 'warrior-elf'.
*** I am to use the same rulebook as everybody else.

****You are a diviner, not a cliomancer.
*****Please, can we just play normal D&D.

[Anonymouswizard]

****You are a diviner, not a cliomancer.
*****Please, can we just play normal D&D.

****** No.

[Lord Torath]

*****Please, can we just play normal D&D.

****** No.
I love the effect the asterisks add.

Not just "No," but "****** no!"

* My mage may not tank better than the half-giant.

[LecternOfJasper]

*May no longer remake an attack roll.
** Even if I'm feeling really lucky this time. It is not bound to work at least once.
*** May not longer roll hit dice, either.
**** When I want to do something, I must ask someone else to roll for me.

[Lord Raziere]

* No matter how cool a Tobi mask is, depth perception is better

* The servant of the BBEG may not be a kind traveler who likes to make people happy by performing for and healing people
** Mostly because it makes players paranoid

* May not somehow successfully turn an Ocarina of Time reference into a prayer to a sea god into tricking said god into thinking that I've sacrificed a member of the crew
** Even if they demanded I get rid of the "heretic" because she was doing nothing but badmouthing him.
*** Next time I play Song of Storms it shouldn't be to get rid of the storm.

[Anonymouswizard]

* No matter how cool a Tobi mask is, depth perception is better.

Bah! My real life experience suggests that depth perception is overrated!

* There is such a thing as too many daggers.
** I probably hit it when I was carrying more knives than rations.
*** If I have more weapons in my underwear than the rest of the party put together I've definitely passed it.

[Telok]

Bah! My real life experience suggests that depth perception is overrated!

* There is such a thing as too many daggers.
** I probably hit it when I was carrying more knives than rations.
*** If I have more weapons in my underwear than the rest of the party put together I've definitely passed it.

I don't even have to ask, I know that optimizing a character's undies to defeat enemies by sanity loss is unacceptable in almost all gaming groups...

...still kinda want to try it now tho.

[Milodiah]

*Even if the rulebook says cats only cost three copper pieces, and the standard wealth by level for a 4th level character is 4,000gp, my character is not starting with 133,333 cats.

[Rockphed]

*Even if the rulebook says cats only cost three copper pieces, and the standard wealth by level for a 4th level character is 4,000gp, my character is not starting with 133,333 cats.

** Nor 133 cats.
*** Even 13 cats is a bit much.

* I do not keep a small village in line by threatening to sick my cats on them.

* I may not "huggle the widdle kitty" when it is a 900 pound tiger no matter my handle animal skill.
** "Handle animal" does not help me juggle the middle kitty either.

[MornShine]

**Urist McFistbeard, does not have a prehensile beard that can make a fist shape
***Nor does he have an extra fist attached to his chin hidden behind his beard.
* May not point out that there are actually rules for this in Pathfinder
** May not start reading a thread from the middle

[danielxcutter]

Well, bearded devils are a thing I think…

[Rater202]

*The entire game can't just be the players being manipulated into gathering the resources needed to create their benefactor's perfect ideal body and transfer their memories, consciousness, thought patterns, emotions, miscellaneous psionic power/essence, soul, life force, mystical energy, ki, and anything else that could even remotely be considered "them" from their orignal body to the perfect body before the benefactors dies of a terminal illness.
**"getting old" is not a terminal illness.
***Death is not a disease.
****Especially not when you're middle age at the oldest and have no pressing health concerns.
*****The perfect ideal body can't be a creepy little girl with unfathomable power.

[Mandark]

*The entire game can't just be the players being manipulated into gathering the resources needed to create their benefactor's perfect ideal body and transfer their memories, consciousness, thought patterns, emotions, miscellaneous psionic power/essence, soul, life force, mystical energy, ki, and anything else that could even remotely be considered "them" from their original body to the perfect body before the benefactors dies of a terminal illness.
**"getting old" is not a terminal illness.
***Death is not a disease.
****Especially not when you're middle age at the oldest and have no pressing health concerns.
*****The perfect ideal body can't be a creepy little girl with unfathomable power.

******The Church of the Silver Flame would like to have a word with you...😥

[Rater202]

******The Church of the Silver Flame would like to have a word with you...😥Could you explain why in detail?

[danielxcutter]

The current Keeper of the Flame in present-day Eberron is Jaela Daran, an 11-year old girl who is normally a Cleric 3 but becomes a Cleric 18 inside Flamekeep.(Unsurprisingly, she doesn't exactly go on trips that often.)

No, not "actually centuries old but looks like a kid"(that's Vol IIRC), literally an 11-year old girl.

Honestly, even without the Flamekeep uberboost having any PC class levels at that age is pretty impressive if you ask me. And Eberron is an extremely low-level setting on top of that.

[Rater202]

The current Keeper of the Flame in present-day Eberron is Jaela Daran, an 11-year old girl who is normally a Cleric 3 but becomes a Cleric 18 inside Flamekeep.(Unsurprisingly, she doesn't exactly go on trips that often.)

No, not "actually centuries old but looks like a kid"(that's Vol IIRC), literally an 11-year old girl.

Honestly, even without the Flamekeep uberboost having any PC class levels at that age is pretty impressive if you ask me. And Eberron is an extremely low-level setting on top of that.
I'm aware of all of that.

I just don't understand why they'd have a problem with creating a perfect body from scratch to cheat death.

Unless it's a "no, bad, my schtick" thing regarding a young girl with unfathomable power.

[Lord Raziere]

I'm aware of all of that.

I just don't understand why they'd have a problem with creating a perfect body from scratch to cheat death.

Unless it's a "no, bad, my schtick" thing regarding a young girl with unfathomable power.

I mean transcending death to have immortal life is more of the Blood of Vol's thing, and while the Blood of Vol views undeath as a failure state (but still one they use ethically to help their community), the Silver Flame tends to take the classic "burn all undead, they're all bad" approach. and I don't recall Blood of Vol and the Silver Flame having a good relationship anyways.

extending life in such a manner might be considered something close to or be mistaken to be some kind of undead by the Silver Flame, and specifying little girl would probably make them think your targeting their high priest to take over her body to somehow wield the power of the Silver Flame for some nefarious purpose.

* The Eberron nations are not all secretly making Metal Gears
** the Mourning was not caused by a Metal gear being used.
*** an Eberron game does not consist of byzantine shenanigans straight out of the Last Days of Foxhound.
**** My Changeling may not be a quintuple agent for all four great nations and what remains of Cyre and they do not have a labyrinthine mind on par with Revolver Ocelot enough to give a psion a headache trying to comprehend how I keep all my manipulations straight.

[danielxcutter]

I mean the 'Forged are as close to Metal Gear cyborgs in a D&D setting as you'll get I'd say.

[Eldan]

* May not point out that there are actually rules for this in Pathfinder
** May not start reading a thread from the middle

***While hair blades exist in D&D 3.5, they are stupid and don't count as fists when attached to your beard.

[Mandark]

Could you explain why in detail?

They are having a bake sale and were wondering if you wanted to buy some tasty cookies.

[Anonymouswizard]

They are having a bake sale and were wondering if you wanted to buy some tasty cookies.

I thought they were getting rid of Baker's Night?

* Profession (Pastry Chef) does not give me a synergy bonus to Diplomacy checks
** Neither does Craft (Dessert), which is not a separate skill anyway.


* I may wear a kilt. This does not allow me to avoid wearing underpants.
** The same rule applies to my characters.

[Telok]

* Game night is not show-and-tell for any bits or interior pics you got to take home after your last surgery.
** It is not in keeping with Ms. Manner's best advice to troll the "I'm such a tough guy" player more than once using this method.

[Duff]

"The Dwarvish blacksmith's beard is short enough, and the apron is cut low enough, that you can see from her throat to her navel" is sufficient description.

[Rater202]

Even if it would be accurate to a corrupted version of my hearts desires, being a parasite that tricks other organisms into eating it, then subjugating its body and soul before devouring it from the inside out and absorbing 100% of its power in order to cheat all of the restrictions on power growth is not allowed.

[Bohandas]

*The protagonist of H.P.Lovecraft's The Outsider was not Jack Skellington

[Milodiah]

*The protagonist of H.P.Lovecraft's The Outsider was not Jack Skellington

**and it CERTAINLY wasn't Jack Skelling-Tron. So you can just go ahead and soak that character sheet in lighter fluid and throw it in the fireplace.

[Bohandas]

*While I may create a permanent planar rift to Mount Celestia, I may not name the rift "The Glory Hole"

*The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is not a Decepticon

*My gnome does not know what Phase Two is

*Spice Melange is not meant to be inhaled off the blade of a knife

[danielxcutter]

*Referencing Hellsing Abridged in a VtM game is out.

[Lord Raziere]

*Referencing Hellsing Abridged in a VtM game is out.

** Referencing Harry Potter or Harry Dresden in a Mage game is also out
*** Saying "Believe It!" in a Ninja Crusade game gets you assassinated
**** Aw who am I kidding, no one has heard of Ninja Crusade, say it all you want if you can get a group

* Saying "People die when they are killed" in a Mage game is also out

* May not try to use Notorious BIG to take out supervillain speedsters on the logic that the stand automatically detects and relentlessly chases after their incredibly fast motions and cannot truly be killed.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may reference anything I want when playing Unknown Armies, but it cannot fuel my magick
** I do not get charges from other player's references either. Even as a Cinemancer.

[Rater202]

*In a Marvel Superheroes game, I am not to spend my downtime ****posting with memes comparing Doctor Doom to Invader Zim.
**Seriously, that's the kind of thing that makes him invade.

[Lord Raziere]

* My Exalted campaign may not be named Heartwarming Getimian Propaganda Style
** It may not portray the Maiden of Endings and by extension the rest of the Maidens as an unrepentant villain standing in the way of giving everyone immortality and freedom from destiny
*** the Sidereals may not be portrayed as evil secret agents talking in bored monotones like the robots from the matrix
**** the Getimians may not team up with the Infernals to be portrayed as a noble Star Wars-esque rebellion trying to bring peace and freedom to Creation by overthrowing tyrannical authorities
***** May not portray Solars as misguided Neji and other genius like people who simply need a good beating and friendship speech to join the Getimians side.
****** or the Lunars as misguided well-intentioned extremists who after their plans are foiled become wacky wild allies
******* may not defeat the Abyssals using the power of friendship and determination.
******** May not portray the Dragon-Blooded as the Sidereals power-hungry lackeys.

[danielxcutter]

*in a marvel superheroes game, i am not to spend my downtime ****posting with memes comparing doctor doom to invader zim.
**seriously, that's the kind of thing that makes him invade.

*******Foot dive!

[Rater202]

* My Exalted campaign may not be named Heartwarming Getimian Propaganda Style
** It may not portray the Maiden of Endings and by extension the rest of the Maidens as an unrepentant villain standing in the way of giving everyone immortality and freedom from destiny
*** the Sidereals may not be portrayed as evil secret agents talking in bored monotones like the robots from the matrix
**** the Getimians may not team up with the Infernals to be portrayed as a noble Star Wars-esque rebellion trying to bring peace and freedom to Creation by overthrowing tyrannical authorities
***** May not portray Solars as misguided Neji and other genius like people who simply need a good beating and friendship speech to join the Getimians side.
****** or the Lunars as misguided well-intentioned extremists who after their plans are foiled become wacky wild allies
******* may not defeat the Abyssals using the power of friendship and determination.
******** May not portray the Dragon-Blooded as the Sidereals power-hungry lackeys.

I am reasonably certain that that's more or less canon.

[vasilidor]

*In a Marvel Superheroes game, I am not to spend my downtime ****posting with memes comparing Doctor Doom to Invader Zim.
**Seriously, that's the kind of thing that makes him invade.

Doom or Zim?

[danielxcutter]

Doom or Zim?

***The answer is Yes.

[Bohandas]

*May not refer to Asmodeus as the "Master of Baator"

[danielxcutter]

*May not refer to Asmodeus as the "Master of Baator"

...It took me a second to get that but I think the DM is morally obligated to smack you over the head with all three core books if you say that out loud.

[Milodiah]

*The fact that my character is from South Armagh does not grant a racial bonus to attacking Englishmen.
**Although admittedly quite long, the Wikipedia article 'list of Irish uprisings' is not sufficient evidence to change the GM's mind.
***I must accept that when I chose to play an Irish dwarf, I very much set myself up for drinking jokes and leprechaun jokes, and there is nothing I can do about it.
****Even if it's entirely justified by my backstory, yelling battle cries in both Gaelic and French is bound to confuse people.
*****Playing a spellcaster in Shadowrun is entirely reasonable, but not if the only reason is so your Irish dwarf can refer to his various foci as "me Lucky Charms".

[KorvinStarmast]

*
****Even if it's entirely justified by my backstory, yelling battle cries in both Gaelic and French is bound to confuse people. Same problem will arise if your dwarf has Scots lineage (https://youtu.be/8NrHkf7rB34). :smallwink: Something about Gaels and Francs seems to be opposed to the English ...

[MornShine]

* "xenophobia" is not an acceptable character motivation
** neither is "teenage angst"

[danielxcutter]

* "xenophobia" is not an acceptable character motivation
** neither is "teenage angst"

***May not point out that the first is arguably half the premise of WH40K.

[Lord Raziere]

* "xenophobia" is not an acceptable character motivation
** neither is "teenage angst"

**** May not point out the second is arguably the premise of Monsterhearts, Masks: A New Generation, most of Homestuck, both TWEWY games, Deltarune, and New She-Ra

* My ninja may not summon dinosaurs
** Nor may they teleport everywhere
*** Summoning alternate versions of oneself from parallel universes is frowned upon
**** don't be surprised when the alternate versions don't agree with each other
***** or when one of them decides to kill all the others to absorb their knowledge so they get all the jutsu from them.

* May not try to imitate anything Dante does, no matter how cool it is.

[danielxcutter]

* My ninja may not summon dinosaurs
** Nor may they teleport everywhere
*** Summoning alternate versions of oneself from parallel universes is frowned upon
**** don't be surprised when the alternate versions don't agree with each other
***** or when one of them decides to kill all the others to absorb their knowledge so they get all the jutsu from them.

******May not point out that the Echo Knight subclass does something similar.

[Eldan]

* "xenophobia" is not an acceptable character motivation


**Unless we are playing Dark Heresy.

[Rockphed]

**Unless we are playing Dark Heresy.

Even there it isn't a motivation; it's a moral imperative.

[danielxcutter]

Even there it isn't a motivation; it's a moral imperative.

...Which can be a motivation. :smalltongue:

[Anonymouswizard]

* "xenophobia" is not an acceptable character motivation
** neither is "teenage angst"

I mean the first is 40k, the second is its target audience.

[danielxcutter]

I mean the first is 40k, the second is its target audience.

I think you got ninja'd twice in a row with the former. :p

[Anonymouswizard]

I think you got ninja'd twice in a row with the former. :p

I was fully aware the former had been brought up twice, but the joke kind of doesn't work without it

[LecternOfJasper]

* May no longer "reward" the monk's antics by giving them the powers and appearance of a warped yuan-ti.
** No, the social issues have not been considered. Since when do townsfolk matter?
*** Why would becoming a low ranking member of a highly manipulative secret society/ancient reviled royal line be an issue? It's unfair to reward someone so well for being stupid. :smalltongue:

* May no longer expect players to not look up what a monster looks like immediately after it's mentioned.
** Not even when there's quite a variety of possibilities online, they'll likely not have seen it before, and I was aiming for showing it to them when they actually, y'know, encounter it, but whatever.

* May no longer describe the boss's minions too much. More description must always equal more dangerous.
** May no longer expect "there's definitely something horrible in that sarcophagus" to not be followed by "I pull it open." This is a rule that will always be followed.
*** May no longer expect the party to take any damage over the course of multiple encounters that are in the Hard/Deadly range.

* Must find magic items for the blind artificer that does not want anything to do with being blind or being an artificer :smallsigh:
** Must ensure that said magic items both have nothing to do with the character's strengths or weaknesses while also making sure they're not especially useful for anyone else.

[noob]

I mean the first is 40k, the second is its target audience.
Its true target audience is people who have way too much money to spend and finds the figurines cool looking.
There is low amounts teenage angst among people of that kind.


* Must find magic items for the blind artificer that does not want anything to do with being blind or being an artificer :smallsigh:
** Must ensure that said magic items both have nothing to do with the character's strengths or weaknesses while also making sure they're not especially useful for anyone else.

*** May not suggest to give them a non magical sonic screwdriver no matter how silly it would be for the artificer to have a piece of tech they do not understand and for which being an artificer does not actually helps.
**** And not just because the party bard might grab it and call themselves the doctor.

[Anonymouswizard]

Its true target audience is people who have way too much money to spend and finds the figurines cool looking.
There is low amounts teenage angst among people of that kind.

Maybe it's different elsewhere, but in the UK it's very much targeted at 14 year old boys who can leech their parents of money.

Or it was back in my day. But that was when Warhammer Fantasy Battles was the adult targeted game. Before they killed it and brought out the Lord of the Rings game but with Law Warriors.

[PhoenixPhyre]

Hypothetical question: is designing an adventure site revolving around oozes, with a party that deals almost entirely slashing damage[1] ok?

[1]
* One character uses claws (it's a mutation-based class)
* Two use scimitars
* One pet with claws.
* The wizard is the only one not doing slashing damage.

[Telok]

Hypothetical question: is designing an adventure site revolving around oozes, with a party that deals almost entirely slashing damage[1] ok?

[1]
* One character uses claws (it's a mutation-based class)
* Two use scimitars
* One pet with claws.
* The wizard is the only one not doing slashing damage.

Yes.. if... you curate the oozes very carefully. I suggest going back through assorted April Fools episode of Dragon Mag.

[Bohandas]

*"Ni" "Peng" and "Neewom" are not words of the Thu'um

[MornShine]

* When it's 7:50pm and the restaurant closes at 8pm; you haven't eaten since yesterday; and you hear from down the hall someone mention 'D&D', the correct answer is to go to dinner, not to spend two and a half hours hanging out at some strangers' session zero.

** BLASPHEMY! D&D Trumps Everything.

[danielxcutter]

That depends on how much food they have, I’d imagine.

[KorvinStarmast]

* When it's 7:50pm and the restaurant closes at 8pm; you haven't eaten since yesterday; and you hear from down the hall someone mention 'D&D', the correct answer is to go to dinner, not to spend two and a half hours hanging out at some strangers' session zero.
This is what the emergency Snickers bar, or package of beef jerkey, that you keep in the back of the drawer is for. Go to session 0. (also, a lot more folks deliver these days).

** BLASPHEMY! D&D Trumps Everything. That goes without saying. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Raziere]

* May not hang up a motivational poster saying "Love and Peace! Or else."

* The Greatest threat to Heartwarming Getimian Propaganda Style may not be Selfless Alchemical Deeds For A Better World Method

* May not be afraid of a bird who speaks my name and only my name
** Or of an undead parasite tree
*** If we're this afraid to go into a tree that we have to shoot it first before entering, we may be in the wrong profession.

[Milodiah]

*I am to check whether or not I am playing the face before I attempt to impersonate a member of the CEO's personal protection detail. Preferably before I am in the elevator going up to meet them.
**If when that plan fails, I had better have a more solid backup plan than "the window".
***When that plan somehow succeeds against all odds, I definitely should not press my luck by showing random members of the protection detail pictures of an international fugitive and warning them to be on the lookout. At least, don't do that without verifying whether the person the CEO is going to meet with is or is not said fugitive. Because if there were a Late Show list of "Top Ten Ways To Blow Your Cover", that's gotta be at least in the upper half.
****You'd better believe you're invoking the Evil Dice Gods, not the Benevolent ones, when you say something like "I can't bear to look at this roll, so I'm just gonna close my eyes and judge how I did by the noises everyone at the table makes."
*****If I narrowly avoided death five times in a row within one hour of play time with this character on the first session, during the initial legwork phase, it may be wise to prepare a backup character ahead of time.

[Rater202]

*Klyntar symbiotes are not eligible to be registered as emotional support animals.
**Or disability support animals.
***Even if you need one to walk and manage your crippling anxiety.

[MornShine]

* when D&D Night turns into Board Game Night three weeks in a row, you don't have a D&D group
** what you do have is a board game group

[Telok]

* No longer allowed to be so damn cheerful about a character with 5 charisma when the point buy doesn't go below 8.

** Not allowed to draw character portraits while playing a character named "Snozar the Defiler of Eyeballs".

*** Not allowed to use logic about charisma being only partially appearance based to scare the new guy.

**** Absolutely not allowed image editing software while playing a character named "Snozar the Defiler of Eyeballs".

***** No longer allowed to buy the DM expensive fancy vodka to get more house rules.

****** Having a negative charisma will not cause an overflow error that wraps it around to 63, 127, 255, or any other number that is one less than a power of 2.

******* Not allowed internet links in the character description of a character named "Snozar the Defiler of Eyeballs".

Coming soon to the folder of "<blam!> Next character please.": any character named "<something> the Defiler of Eyeballs".

[Bohandas]

*A camel's toe is not an appropriate ingredient for a witches' brew

[KorvinStarmast]

***** No longer allowed to buy the DM expensive fancy vodka to get more house rules. There's always pizza. :smallcool:

[Anonymouswizard]

* Even if the rulebook doesn't expressly forbid Jaeger Sparks the GM does.
* Jaegers might not believe in buying hats, but that doesn't believe that I get to refund the cost of one at character creation.

[Rockphed]

* Even if the rulebook doesn't expressly forbid Jaeger Sparks the GM does.
* Jaegers might not believe in buying hats, but that doesn't believe that I get to refund the cost of one at character creation.

They may not "buy" hats, but they spend resources acquiring them nonetheless.

[Telok]

They may not "buy" hats, but they spend resources acquiring them nonetheless.

* Other people's blood and suffering is technically a resource being expended if they have a hat I want.

[Anonymouswizard]

They may not "buy" hats, but they spend resources acquiring them nonetheless.

I mean, with DR3 and the Fast Healing advantage, not many hard to obtain resources :smallwink:

[Rater202]

I cannot base the Big Bad on Lois from Malcolm in the Middle

[Bohandas]

The term is "player character" not "playa character"

[Lord Raziere]

* I cannot have a shotel that damages through shields and ACs
** my knife cannot inflict bleed to take out a chunk of the enemies health when I score enough hits
*** May not try to parry/crit stab the enemy when this isn't Dark Souls
**** my weapons may inflict lightning damage, but they do not stun enemies
***** I may not dodge roll to avoid all damage unless I'm a rogue.
****** I may however, Praise the Sun

* Characters Goals may not be: ...learn all jutsu and become immortal with no idea what to do after
**...kidnap a distant relative and hold them for ransom to help fund the military I work in
***...make friends with the heiress of ancient enemy rival clan to start my megalomaniacal quest for power and also tick off my dad.
****...do jobs for the mafia to get MTF trans surgery
*****...make the puppet I do a ventriloquist act with and pretend is real, become a sapient robot so she can be my friend.
******...learn medical jutsu so I can find a way to resurrect the village I come from because they died in a flood
*******...go to space when the world hasn't even invented rockets yet
********...find a friend who accepts me for who I am: a naturally born energy and memory draining vampire who wishes to drown in other identities to escape her own.
*********...collect a bunch of cool weapons and wield them to prove I'm more than just a water dispenser.
**********...kill and absorb ninjas into my blood so I can create clones of them to wield all jutsu and become the ultimate ninja for my village
***********...use mushrooms to get revenge for a long dead clan of people I don't know, upon a clan I know just as little of, so I can be famous for doing so.

[TeChameleon]

The term is "player character" not "playa character"
** Unless it's a bard.

* My Aarakocra Monk is not allowed to 'forget' to get dressed just because he has no use for armour
** An open robe doesn't count as 'getting dressed'
*** Even if he doesn't have anything the other PCs would recognize as genitalia
**** Not even if even that is completely concealed by feathers
***** "Eschew Clothing" still isn't a valid feat

* Not allowed to convince the DM that the 5e monk is ridiculously OP due to a combination of lucky rolls, reckless playing that paid off remarkably well, and a first dungeon that happened to be basically tailor-made for monk abilities.

* Doesn't matter if the fluff says that the Aarakocra often spend months airborne on their home plane; you still have to come down occasionally

* Not allowed to shrug and pass over more than 10,000 Gp in coinage just because Aarakocra have very limited understanding of personal property, and one who was brought up cloistered has even less knowledge of/use for gold, and also because while shiny, they were all the same and thus not very interesting (the other players were very glad that one of the other PCs was close enough to hear the 'clink'! :smalltongue:)
** My Aarakocra monk may not take the Vow of Poverty when he barely understands material possessions as a concept

* Not allowed to respond to other PCs being horrified at zombified children with "They were only six? So... a year older than me, then?"
** Not allowed to go around crushing the skulls of the downed zombie children in complete calm after being upset that the other PCs were going to steal dragon eggs
*** Not allowed to be absolutely traumatized once the whole age differential thing is explained and vow vengeance on the necromancer responsible

* Not allowed to forget that the other PCs can't fly

Playing a non-human that differs significantly in biology, mobility, age of maturity, and culture is fun :smallbiggrin:
... and while he may not understand personal possessions very well, he understands personal space just fine, so the whole 'Kender problem' doesn't come up.

* If told to prep a character for an 'anime style game', it is expected that I'll turn up with the usual superhuman martial artist, magic user, giant-robot-pilot, magical girl, or something along those lines, not an expy of Yotsuba (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yotsuba%26!).
** If for whatever reason the previous rule is ignored, it shouldn't derail the plot so violently that the BBEG somehow ends up as a primary school principal and the game winds up focussing around the everyday, slice-of-life adventures of a cheerful, slightly odd small child learning about the world.

* If told to prep specifically for a 'traditional' magical girls game, the first hint of a Nanoha (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_Girl_Lyrical_Nanoha) expy, rocks fall, everyone dies.
** Not allowed to get around the previous rule by making a character that's just straight-up Nanoha.
*** I am to forget that I've ever heard the phrase 'Starlight Breaker' for the duration of the game

[Bohandas]

*Innsmouth and Y'ha-Nthlei are not suburbs of Bikini Bottom
**Or vice-versa

[Telok]

* Even if the DM thinks its funny & true I am not allowed to troll the people playing fighters & barbarians by using thier combat damage done & taken to calculate the "horse power" of how many horses it would take to replace them.

** That the horses would have better social & wilderness skills does not allow me to assign a negative value to the fighters' & barbarians' contributions to exploration & social encounters.

*** Even though the DM agrees that we wouldn't be hunted outlaws if they'd just kept thier mouths shut and thier hands off the princess.

**** Not allowed to trade them for a pair of trained hippos. Even though it would boost the party dpr.

***** No longer allowed to agitate for using the AD&D reincarnation spell by pointing out that having them come back as bears would boost both thier combat & noncombat abilities.

[Lord Raziere]

* While probably a fun vs thread concept, "Dark souls protagonist vs. all of DnD" as a campaign would probably get real repetitive and old quick.

* May not evade being seen by the authorities though just standing in the middle of a crowd of people and acting casual.
** or standing just to the side of them watching as they run past too focused on whats in front of them to look to the sides.
*** May not evade detection by standing on top of a billboard or sign watching as people walk below me
**** May not repeatedly demonstrate the folly of human perception by choosing seemingly bad hiding spots yet successfully evade being detected because of them.

[KorvinStarmast]

* No longer allowed to cast wall of light (which is opaque) between me and the enemy. (The other players got upset that they could not see the enemy and had to go around it)

** No longer allowed to cast speak with dead directly after we have a tavern brawl that turned deadly - no, I didn't start it, that {censored} gnome rogue (our party) did) - since it freaks out the normal customers. (I guess they handle the occasional knifing with aplomb: and we thought it was a high class tavern!)

*** No longer allowed to use my (warlock, celestial) invisibility cloak to impersonate a guardian angel (I healed a local guard who had been dropped by our barbarian), got him up, and then walked him home (invisibly) all the while whispering into his ear that he needs to become a disciple of {my deity} as a result of me, the angel, saving him from death). When we got him to his home I briefly reappeared - to give him 'the angel's kiss' - his wife, who heard him open the door and saw me doing that - was NOT amused.

[Bohandas]

*May not refer to the Book of Exalted Deeds and Book of Vile Darkness as the "Book of E.D." and the "Book of V.D."

[danielxcutter]

...Okay, what's the joke here?

[Bohandas]

they're both also types of embarrassing medical conditions

[danielxcutter]

...Ah. I get it.

[Telok]

...Okay, what's the joke here?

Translates roughly to "Book of needs Viagra" and "Book of needs antibiotics for embarassing reasons".

It gets pretty funny in threads where people start dropping the "book of" part and just use the initials.

[Socksy]

* Chickens and Velociraptors generally don't share the same statblock.

[Anonymouswizard]

*May not refer to the Book of Exalted Deeds and Book of Vile Darkness as the "Book of E.D." and the "Book of V.D."

I thought the latter was the BoEF.

[Rater202]

The following are not an appropriate use of a Wish

A lifetime supply of hetap.
A lifetime supply of twinkies.
An episode of Family Guy where Meg tarts getting treated better that isn't ignored in all later episodes.
For the writers of The Simpsons to start doing more episodes like the more poignant ones from the first two seasons, such as Old Money
For a Shenmue/Yakuza style open-world game based on King of The Hill
For an infinitely replenishing bottle of Szechuan sauce.

[Rockphed]

For an infinitely replenishing bottle of Szechuan sauce.

Ben Fleuter is way ahead of you on that one (https://www.webtoons.com/en/supernatural/sword-interval/ep-125-flowers-and-shadows/viewer?title_no=486&episode_no=134).

* The undead abomination being right is not a good reason to turn evil.
* Just because there is a statue on top of a building does not mean it is an avatar of a god.
** Nor an aspect of a demon.
*** Nor a stone being that has been watching the city for a thousand years waiting to take its revenge.

* Taking a castle apart and rebuilding it atop a skyscraper will not bring all the gargoyles on it to life.

* If I have an unidentified magical item I am not to give it to my girlfriend in the hopes of turning her into a werewolf.

[Telok]

Things not to try becuse I already knoe they won't fly:

* clay golem minis sculpted from limburger.

** dragon diapers

*** divination spells higher then first level on d&d warlocks.

**** same thing goes for permanent illusion, creation, summoning... just make it a general "nope" anything permanent for d&d warlocks.

Edit: update.

***** So... "because the online tool lets you buy them as gear and put them in a spell component pouch" is apparently insufficient reason for a mid level d&d character with a pile of money to cast 'wall of meat' by using a free item interaction to whip out elephants.

[KorvinStarmast]

***** "because the online tool lets you buy them as gear and put them in a spell component pouch" is apparently insufficient reason for a mid level d&d character with a pile of money to cast 'wall of meat' by using a free item interaction to whip out elephants. This is one of the reasons to play D&D, right?

[Telok]

This is one of the reasons to play D&D, right?

Well I do a lot of work with web apps in my job, so sometthng like dndbeyond or roll20 makes me start thinking. Especially if I'm looking for some function and trying to guess where it got put or if it exists. And that leads to thinking about checking the html to see if they properly hide backend data, or wanting to fire up wireshark and look at some packets.

I've mostly resisted so far.

[Rockphed]

Wait, is "wall of meat" a real spell, or are you casting it by plopping an elephant or five down between you and your enemy? I'm pretty sure it is the latter, but having a spell that makes a wall of size proportional to the corpse you use as material component would be a very necromancer thing.

[danielxcutter]

Well, there was a spell in 3.5e that did something similar with the target's blood vessels...