Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game [Archive] - Page 6

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-12, 06:59 AM

From what I know about the setting, I wouldn't be surprised if the only issue would be his pawns getting executed for actually unrelated reasons.

Probably for nothing more than a misspelt name.

A plan going up in smokes because some of your cultists were executed for heresy?

*Exterminatus of Mars is not an option, not even for an Inquisitor.
** Doubly so if they claim to be influenced by some shady humanoid from beyond time and space.
*** The Master cannot be the 5th Chaos God Malice.

The amount of malice the Master has varies from incarnation to incarnation, so it doesn't quite fit. Honestly they doesn't really work that well as Chaos-aligned, the chaos they creates is in service of establishing a new Order with themself.

Weirdly, considering Chibnall bastardised the lore, it's technically possible the Doctor is one (they'd represent the ideas of curiosity and restlessness, they're not trying to take over the galaxy because they got bored, wandered off into a new universe, and accidentally trapped themselves in the form of a child). If you're going with this and the Chibnall retcons I'd argue that the Doctor and TARDIS are two parts of the same entity, which is the reason they always end up running off together.

danielxcutter

2022-10-12, 07:50 AM

A plan going up in smokes because some of your cultists were executed for heresy?

*Exterminatus of Mars is not an option, not even for an Inquisitor.
** Doubly so if they claim to be influenced by some shady humanoid from beyond time and space.
*** The Master cannot be the 5th Chaos God Malice.

I mean a completely irrelevant case of heresy. Or something else even dumber.

I mean, this is the setting where the Mechanicus executes xenos via slow conveyor belt into lava just because they can. Not even because it's efficient or whatever.

Spore

2022-10-12, 09:37 AM

I mean, this is the setting where the Mechanicus executes xenos via slow conveyor belt into lava just because they can. Not even because it's efficient or whatever.

It's almost like there are some powers behind the scenes who actively benefit from grimdark emotional states.

*I shall not try to make sense of any gaming universes beyond their chosen tone because that would land me in an insane asylum pretty quickly.

But just this once...THE IMPERIUM IS STRAPPED FOR RESSOURCES ON ALL SIDES! They let entire planets and sectors fall to overwhelming Tyranid forces, yet the Mechanicum can do **** all they want? There's people dying on all worlds to grease the war machine of the Imperium but hey, the chief engineers have time to Rube-Goldberg aliens to death? WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THIS MAAAA...

The mind of this mortal has been taken over by Tzeentch. Please run along.

danielxcutter

2022-10-12, 10:54 AM

It's almost like there are some powers behind the scenes who actively benefit from grimdark emotional states.

Yeah, they're called Games Workshop. :smalltongue:

Rater202

2022-10-13, 02:34 PM

*I cannot genetically engineer fast-growing trees with a wolverine-style healing factor and absurdly sturdy roots and then plant them on the properties of people who support deforestation efforts.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-13, 04:03 PM

*I cannot genetically engineer fast-growing trees with a wolverine-style healing factor and absurdly sturdy roots and then plant them on the properties of people who support deforestation efforts.

** Mainly because the Megas have already developed sufficiently powerful acid to melt them.

Personification

2022-10-13, 04:43 PM

Unacceptable in-universe euphemisms for necromancer include (but are not limited to):
*Fan of the Cranberries
**Late riser
***Sponsor of infinite jest
****Wannabe Lara Croft
*****AMC executive
******Liliana cosplayer
*******Friend of Bernie
********Rude forumite
*********Edgar's tailor
**********Edgar Allen's tailor
***********Disco pioneer
************Philosophical raiser
*************Phenomenologist
**************Comeback kid
***************Calcium miner

danielxcutter

2022-10-13, 07:53 PM

noob

2022-10-14, 06:58 AM

But just this once...THE IMPERIUM IS STRAPPED FOR RESSOURCES ON ALL SIDES! They let entire planets and sectors fall to overwhelming Tyranid forces, yet the Mechanicum can do **** all they want? There's people dying on all worlds to grease the war machine of the Imperium but hey, the chief engineers have time to Rube-Goldberg aliens to death? WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THIS MAAAA...

Did you consider that spending resources wastefully makes you more likely to be strapped for resources and so that this thing is logical?

Spore

2022-10-14, 03:26 PM

Yeah, they're called Games Workshop. :smalltongue:

*May not introduced writers or developing studios as overdeities in my games.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-14, 04:32 PM

* The backstory of the Tech Priests is not 'the Technocracy went mad when the public didn't get excited for science and began copying the Traditions'.
** The Emperor is not Caine.

TeChameleon

2022-10-15, 09:57 PM

* I will no longer assume any kind of a baseline for player competency exists. PCs will blitz through a dungeon that could kill a dozen Indiana Jones' like it wasn't even there, then reach the exit, trip, and drown in a puddle :smallconfused:

* Swim checks are the devil.

EDIT- No swim check involving a puddle has been called for in any game I have been involved in. Nevertheless, swim checks are the devil.

Metastachydium

2022-10-16, 05:16 AM

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-16, 10:03 AM

* My demonic powers are not incompatible with pants.

Rater202

2022-10-16, 10:09 AM

* My demonic powers are not incompatible with pants.

*I am not allowed to say nothing regarding clothes just to see how long it takes the other players to realize that my monk is walking around naked.

danielxcutter

2022-10-16, 11:14 AM

Metastachydium

2022-10-16, 12:03 PM

danielxcutter

2022-10-16, 12:08 PM

You might remember the Bile Wrapped in Beauty from LA Assignment. The same's, like, half of its shtick and for some reason it's OFFICIALLY playable (if you hate yourself enough).

Anyhow, characters that don't wear clothes are no big deal. I do that a lot, actually (mainly because I like to play birdies and little lizards and the like, but still).

I saw it on TvTropes and that sounds right, yeah. For what it's worth, Princesses are really not going to get access to it anyways unless something goes very wrong sooo...

Benoojian

2022-10-16, 03:50 PM

*'Everyone else was doing it' is not an excuse to create undead and does not stop it from being an Evil act

danielxcutter

2022-10-16, 09:14 PM

**Creating undead is morally neutral in recent editions of D&D

Rockphed

2022-10-16, 09:15 PM

* "Any Evil you have to apologize for wasn't evil enough" is not a valid philosophy for my paladin.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-17, 04:20 AM

I'm pretty sure there actually are abilities and/or drawbacks that involve destroying your clothes. I think there's one ability in Princess: the Hopeful allowed to Dark creatures that makes you secrete acid from your skin... and burns off not only your clothes but also your hair.

I mean, moving away from fan stuff, Werewolf has a good chance to end with destroyed clothing. You need to perform a rite on specific clothes in Apocalypse, another rite in Forsaken 1e*, and have the right Harmony score in Forsaken 2e.

* Which can still cause problems, because as written most characters will transform back both topless and commando.

Which in hindsight is weird because I get it destroying anything you touch, but hair is part of your body.

I dunno, some people just don't like hair.

Anyhow, characters that don't wear clothes are no big deal. I do that a lot, actually (mainly because I like to play birdies and little lizards and the like, but still).

It very much depends on genre, era, species, and which bits are or aren't covered. As the vast majority of my characters are human...

D&D_Fan

2022-10-17, 02:21 PM

danielxcutter

2022-10-17, 07:26 PM

I’m 99% sure you can actually pull that off in Mage: the Ascension. (Not sure how that works in Awakening though.)

As for the last one, I assume you’ve never seen 3.x diplomancers.

Bohandas

2022-10-17, 08:04 PM

*Victor Frankenstein's recurrent sudden losses of interest throughout the novel are not a metaphor for bad sex

Lord Raziere

2022-10-17, 09:36 PM

* You cannot persuade a rolling boulder to not crush you. It's a rock. It can't respond to your persuasion.
** You cannot deceive a rolling boulder into thinking you're actually it's cousin. It's a rock. Rocks don't have cousins.
*** You cannot intimidate a rolling boulder into running away. Even if it wanted to. Because of physics.
**** You cannot perform good enough to move a boulder. It's a rock. And you're not Orpheus.

***** Unless your an Exalted with like ridiculous amounts of Presence or Performance and Charisma, then yes your totally Orpheus and that rock will listen to you.
****** Or a superhero who persuade meteors to not crash into the earth on the regular as if your some speech superman
******* May not invent rock and roll to make boulders dance at my concerts
******** or heavy metal to make suits of armor join in
********* sticks of bubblegum, candy or soda do not show up when I start playing pop music.

DCraw

2022-10-18, 01:28 AM

**** You cannot perform good enough to move a boulder. It's a rock. And you're not Orpheus.

The earthbenders from Shyamalan's abomination "The Last Airbender" would like a word with you.

Lord Raziere

2022-10-18, 02:31 AM

The earthbenders from Shyamalan's abomination "The Last Airbender" would like a word with you.

* May not create a magic curse that punishes anyone who references bad movies
** or a magic curse that punishes anyone every time they utter the words "demographic appeal", "profit", "monetization", "Microtransactions" or "nostalgia"
*** or a magic curse that punishes anyone they utter "Twitter" or "social media" in any context.
**** magic curse punishments may not include: helium voice, getting hit with pies, mean laugh track for the day only the speaker can hear, getting their hair turned pink and styled in pigtails, suddenly being dressed as a clown, being forced to wear a trollface mask until you go to sleep, being forced to dance, being forced to tell the truth for a day, being plagued by a goose, anything you write or type suddenly turning into a pink and cute font, or dreaming that your furniture all grow mouths and start saying "mefork!" at you in silly voices.
***** dance punishments may not include: gangnam style, the charleston, the macarena, spinning on your head, any dance from Peanuts, dabbing repeatedly, prisyadka, or the chicken dance.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-18, 03:27 AM

The earthbenders from Shyamalan's abomination "The Last Airbender" would like a word with you.

* I may never mention that I once legitimately enjoyed that film.
** Look, I hadn't actually seen the series...

* Making an alchemist is not an excuse to get addicted to as many drugs as possible.
** Especially not before the game starts.

KorvinStarmast

2022-10-18, 09:49 AM

* I may no longer interfere with the mayor of a local town who abuses his citizens.
** I may not threaten to take on the entire town guard and militia when they try to run me out of town I have to go along nicely because our paladin says so

Notafish

2022-10-18, 12:10 PM

Telok

2022-10-18, 04:02 PM

Are we in the same campaign?

*My barbarian's alignment is Chaotic-Neutral, not Anarcho-Primitivist

For many years I have not been allowed to define my character's alignment.
* overly exuberant heroic, is not a d&d alignment.
* self-preservation fraudulent, is not a d&d alignment.
* double-agent scumbag, is not a d&d alignment.
* lawful lunatic, is not a d&d alignment.
* hot electric death, is not a d&d alignment.
* too sexy for alignment, is not a d&d alignment.
* i don't know, is not a d&d alignment.
* lazy murder hobo... is a d&d alignment but its still not allowed on my character sheet.

KorvinStarmast

2022-10-18, 04:05 PM

Are we in the same campaign?

*My barbarian's alignment is Chaotic-Neutral, not Anarcho-Primitivist I don't know. Is your barbarian named Ormhildr?

... is not a d&d alignment. Heh, you have evoked a memory.
We had an assassin player in an AD&D 1e game who once said that his alignment was psychotic neutral. (think he was slightly buzzed at the time).
The DM did a "wait, do you mean chaotic neutral" and then stopped.
He broke into a grin.
"Yes, you are psychotic neutral"
(And he wrote down a note somewhere behind the screen)

Notafish

2022-10-19, 12:12 PM

I don't know. Is your barbarian named Ormhildr?
Heh, you have evoked a memory.
We had an assassin player in an AD&D 1e game who once said that his alignment was psychotic neutral. (think he was slightly buzzed at the time).
The DM did a "wait, do you mean chaotic neutral" and then stopped.
He broke into a grin.
"Yes, you are psychotic neutral"
(And he wrote down a note somewhere behind the screen)

Ha, no - my barbarian's called Fla'a. We just have similar issues with corrupt local officials distracting from the main quest. In my case, it's the bard talking me down.

D&D_Fan

2022-10-19, 01:53 PM

* Player characters are no longer allowed to own precious gem mines simply because they took the noble background and "it makes sense", this due to the inherent imbalance
(yes, I had a player pull this stunt to buy a ton of good gear early one, but they ended up getting kicked out for an unrelated reason which was PVP murderhoboing, which is somehow worse than regular murderhoboing since the problem player immediately tries to kill not only every NPC but every other PC as well.)

* Just because the DM used a shopping mall floor plan for a dungeon does not mean you can refer to the merchant NPC as "Mr. Sears." nor are you allowed to ask about the "Blue Light Special"
(Not everyone has enough time to make a detailed map, okay?)

*Dolphin as a player race is allowed but a very, very bad idea. Most locations can't be expected to cater towards those without any arms or legs. And good luck holding a longsword with flippers.

Bohandas

2022-10-20, 02:16 AM

*There is not a Ninja Turtle named Bob Ross

Rockphed

2022-10-20, 06:42 AM

*There is not a Ninja Turtle named Bob Ross

Of course not: Bob Ross had an afro as his one defining trait and turtles do not grow hair. Bob Ross is what Splinter would name a rat protege.

TeChameleon

2022-10-20, 09:42 PM

* No, I may not have a ninja turtle named 'Salvador Dali' that's "Like Michelangelo, but on LSD instead of Weed"

* If a trap whose sole purpose was to allow some location flavour without needing to make up an extra map nearly claims half the party (as in, down to zero HP), it's hard to tell whether something has gone right or wrong.

Bohandas

2022-10-21, 11:18 AM

*There is not a Ninja Turtle named Bob Ross

* No, I may not have a ninja turtle named 'Salvador Dali' that's "Like Michelangelo, but on LSD instead of Weed"

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-21, 11:22 AM

* My Strategist's method of destruction cannot be 'disintegrating pants'.

Eldan

2022-10-21, 05:55 PM

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

****May not have a Ninja Turtle called Jackson Pollock who uses an Uzi.

TeChameleon

2022-10-22, 02:43 AM

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

* There's already a robot Ninja Turtle named Metalhead, creating one called Dall-E is redundant.
** Creating two fan characters called Anish Kapoor and Stuart Semple who have their own vicious rivalry and don't care about what the rest of the Turtles are doing is mildly amusing, but not terribly useful.

noob

2022-10-22, 05:58 AM

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

****His only weakness might not be messed up hands.

Spore

2022-10-22, 07:46 AM

* There's already a robot Ninja Turtle named Metalhead, creating one called Dall-E is redundant.
** Creating two fan characters called Anish Kapoor and Stuart Semple who have their own vicious rivalry and don't care about what the rest of the Turtles are doing is mildly amusing, but not terribly useful.

*** May not introduce an episode where Anish Kapoor is allied with the shredder to line New York city's pools with Vantablack so they heat up enough the chlorine will seep into the sewers to kill the TMNTs in some cruel WW 1 warfare style.
**** Even if the episode twist would be Semple tricking humans to use his version of black that is far less dangerous but still heats up like crazy creating the turtle death trap.
***** The morale may not be: "don't be prideful, or else your friends will die a cruel death." even if appropriate.

Personification

2022-10-23, 10:08 AM

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

****They also can't be a villain with the Amazo (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazo)/Taskmaster (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taskmaster_(character))/Learnerer (https://wordgirl.fandom.com/wiki/The_Learnerer) powerset
*****I may not use this thread to shoehorn in references to WordGirl

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-23, 10:25 AM

****They also can't be a villain with the Amazo (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazo)/Taskmaster (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taskmaster_(character))/Learnerer (https://wordgirl.fandom.com/wiki/The_Learnerer) powerset

***** Taskmaster powers are not the ability to force five comedians to perform strange tasks under an arbitrary time limit.

Rater202

2022-10-23, 10:43 AM

****They also can't be a villain with the Amazo (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazo)/Taskmaster (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taskmaster_(character))/Learnerer (https://wordgirl.fandom.com/wiki/The_Learnerer) powerset
*****I may not use this thread to shoehorn in references to WordGirl

The Taskmaster powerset is kind of a trap. It sounds cool on paper but the side effects are guaranteed death of personality.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-23, 11:02 AM

The Taskmaster powerset is kind of a trap. It sounds cool on paper but the side effects are guaranteed death of personality.

I'm not sure becoming Greg Davies is necessarily a downside...

TeChameleon

2022-10-23, 01:12 PM

The Taskmaster powerset is kind of a trap. It sounds cool on paper but the side effects are guaranteed death of personality.

Not to mention that you don't even need to think as hard about them as most superpowers for them to make no sense- he's claimed he learned to fight 'like Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan' from their movies... so, he knows how to carefully swing near a stuntman so that it looks like he decked them from the right angle?

And perfectly mimicking the moves of somebody who's not the same height or build as him... I mean, I'm no expert on anatomy and physiology, but wouldn't that turn him into a whimpering heap of torn ligaments and pulled muscles in fairly short order..?

EDIT- I'm weirdly amused that my dumb joke about art-world drama landed...

Mandark

2022-10-24, 08:29 AM

*Am not allowed to create a Lich named Anish Kapoor just so the party can destroy him multiple times in ever more creative and petty ways with the Bean.
**Without letting them know where his phylactery is.
***Because we don't need more than one undead Jerkwad artist creator of the Bean in the multiverse. EVER.
****Obligatory fork Anish Kapoor

danielxcutter

2022-10-24, 10:18 AM

Do I want to know the context for this?

D&D_Fan

2022-10-24, 10:54 AM

* It is an AWFUL idea to give an atomic weapon to a random beggar outside of a tent on the side of the road.
**Seriously, why did you do this. You could have sold it for money if you don't want it. He just wanted food.
***If that nuke goes off, it's taking an entire village with it + the entire surrounding region.

Telok

2022-10-24, 11:06 AM

* While my PC is spending time dead for tax reasons, I may no longer so successfully play the characer's imp familiar as to get multiple party members to make infernal pacts with it and deck it out in PC levels of magical equipment.

** I may not tempt the DM with turning in my PC's sorcerer levels and nominally good alignment in exchange for the imp getting upgraded to a more powerful devil.

*** I may not ask to just play the imp instead and leave the PC dead.

KorvinStarmast

2022-10-24, 02:35 PM

* I may no longer try to dispel the simulacrum of the King with his son, and his minister of defense, looking on during the King's (well, the simulacrum's) long, boring, and rambling speech1
** I may no longer tell the minister of defense that he's a freaking moron to his face in front of a room full of others, even though I am right.
*** I may no longer kill the sleeper agent with whom the minister of defense was sleeping2
**** I may not, and did not, shoot the deputy.

1 (I failed the roll)
2 ... because she's dead already, by my hand, and I called him out for a fool.

tyckspoon

2022-10-24, 07:28 PM

Do I want to know the context for this?

So, ok, in the mid 2010s the formula for a pigment called 'Vantablack' was found. You may have run into articles about it, probably with references to 'How much more black can it be?' in the title - it's so efficient at capturing light that objects painted with it look like holes in existence, like 3D silhouettes left behind where somebody deleted something from the universe's canvas. This is Really Cool, and a lot of artists want to play with it.

Enter Anish Kapoor. Anish Kapoor manages to get the inventor/patent holder of Vantablack to give him exclusive license to use the pigment. Which means nobody other than Anish Kapoor can, legally, experiment with it or make use of it in artworks. This is widely regarded as a **** Move.

Enter Stuart Semple (and friends and business associates, but Stuart is the name and face attached to the company.) He took that personally, and eventually found a formula for a very similar level of black that was distinct enough from Vantablack to not break its patent and licensing terms. This is marketed as 'Black 2.0' (and later refined further to Black 3.0.) Black 2.0 and 3.0 are available for general sale to everybody. Unless the everybody you are happens to be Anish Kapoor. The shop page for Black 2.0 and 3.0 specifically forbids Anish Kapoor from purchasing it or anybody else purchasing it on his behalf.

Bohandas

2022-10-24, 08:46 PM

What's the "bean" thing about though?

Rockphed

2022-10-24, 09:04 PM

What's the "bean" thing about though?

I think that is about the mirrored sculpture in Chicago. It looks like a chrome bean. I think Anish Kapoor made it. It isn't actually named "The Bean", but everyone calls it that. He supposedly hates it. He just sounds like a lovely person, no?

* Toddlers do not have super powers. They cannot move especially fast, are not particularly stealthy, and are not strong even for their body weight. Toddlerman is a bad idea for a superhero.

TeChameleon

2022-10-24, 10:53 PM

Do I want to know the context for this?

Tyckspoon has the right of it- here (https://cheezburger.com/8875525/tumblr-thread-on-the-art-worlds-most-hated-elitist-anish-kapoor-and-his-bean) (apologies for the cheezburger link, it was the most convenient one I could find) covers things in a little more detail; Anish Kapoor is a fantastically wealthy elitist douche, and Stuart Semple seems to have made it his life's goal to a) make awesome art supplies and b) piss Anish Kapoor off in amazingly petty ways while doing so.

In short, nobody does drama like artists.

Pauly

2022-10-25, 03:29 PM

* Toddlers do not have super powers. They cannot move especially fast, are not particularly stealthy, and are not strong even for their body weight. Toddlerman is a bad idea for a superhero.

** If the DM is a parent they will recognize these powers as legitimate superpowers and suggest additional powers such as deception by laughing and acting cute, ear drum shattering screams and power vomiting at will.

Pauly

2022-10-25, 03:37 PM

***** Taskmaster powers are not the ability to force five comedians to perform strange tasks under an arbitrary time limit.

***** Nor is it the ability to write tasks in such a way that only the cleverest comedians can find a loophole to exploit.

Wookieetank

2022-10-25, 03:41 PM

** If the DM is a parent they will recognize these powers as legitimate superpowers and suggest additional powers such as deception by laughing and acting cute, ear drum shattering screams and power vomiting at will.

***Not to mention: oblivious to danger, extraordinary (if selective) hearing, ridiculous amounts of endurance for physical activities, and fantastic memory pertaining to things they've been told will happen.
****May not speculate on who would win in a Toddlerman vs Floridaman matchup.

TeChameleon

2022-10-26, 03:37 AM

* If, courtesy of what was essentially a timestop in grenade form, a roomful of enemies is about to be hit by an insane simultaneous barrage of fireballs, eldritch blasts, javelins, crossbow bolts, thrown knives, and an angry parrot to the face, the angry parrot should not be the most dangerous of the batch.

** When the large, complicated boss encounter is erased in two rounds (one of them being a surprise round), jokes about a sudden influx of confused people into the Nine Hells are in slightly poor taste. Still funny, though.

D&D_Fan

2022-10-26, 04:42 PM

* While it sounds like a good idea, actually giving players a fight against enemies that are actually smart will end in a TPK. It's not your fault your players aren't very clever, you just need to accommodate that.

** To be fair, the enemies used were imperial Jedi hunters and they knew how to combat most of what the party Jedi could throw at them.

*** But even the non-Jedi party members weren't helpful. One of them literally electrocuted himself, and another was fell to her death a la Darth Sidious in Episode 6

**** The Jedi party member was the opposite of helpful because he destroyed the floor which resulted in the afformentioned falling death.

***** Last time I run a starwars game. Next time magic space wizards are banned.

Personification

2022-10-26, 05:12 PM

Bohandas

2022-10-27, 01:51 AM

*The Deep Ones may not attempt to entice the investigators to join their side with a rousing rendition of "Under The Sea"

Telwar

2022-10-27, 08:17 AM

*The Deep Ones may not attempt to entice the investigators to join their side with a rousing rendition of "Under The Sea"

And the Shoggoth is certainly not allowed to sing harmony with itself.

Tohron

2022-10-27, 11:46 AM

* The Bard cannot make everyone immune to fear effects by playing Yakety Sax
** Where did they get that saxophone anyway?

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-27, 01:17 PM

* Vuvuzela proficiency DOES allow me to play the kazoo.
** If it ever becomes relevant I am to stop arguing against it.
*** I am to stop trying to find the most impractical combination of proficiencies possible.

Lord Torath

2022-10-27, 01:18 PM

So, ok, in the mid 2010s the formula for a pigment called 'Vantablack' was found. You may have run into articles about it, probably with references to 'How much more black can it be?' in the title - it's so efficient at capturing light that objects painted with it look like holes in existence, like 3D silhouettes left behind where somebody deleted something from the universe's canvas. This is Really Cool, and a lot of artists want to play with it.

Enter Anish Kapoor. Anish Kapoor manages to get the inventor/patent holder of Vantablack to give him exclusive license to use the pigment. Which means nobody other than Anish Kapoor can, legally, experiment with it or make use of it in artworks. This is widely regarded as a **** Move.

Enter Stuart Semple (and friends and business associates, but Stuart is the name and face attached to the company.) He took that personally, and eventually found a formula for a very similar level of black that was distinct enough from Vantablack to not break its patent and licensing terms. This is marketed as 'Black 2.0' (and later refined further to Black 3.0.) Black 2.0 and 3.0 are available for general sale to everybody. Unless the everybody you are happens to be Anish Kapoor. The shop page for Black 2.0 and 3.0 specifically forbids Anish Kapoor from purchasing it or anybody else purchasing it on his behalf.On the other hand, as I understand it, the formula for VantaBlack is fairly toxic, while Black 2.0 and 3.0 are much more environmentally friendly. So I'm pretty okay with VantaBlack being off limits. Kapoor's still a jerk, though.

Rater202

2022-10-27, 07:57 PM

My powers can't be "basically, I'm cancer scaled up to human size."

Lord Raziere

2022-10-28, 12:38 AM

* My powers can't be "I'm a mirror demon that copies peoples everything then does being that person better than them".
** or "know all the things that never happened and pull things from possibilities that never were."
*** or "maw-demon that turns fists and body into all devouring mouths that devours anything both physical and abstract"
**** or "fall in love with people to teach or kill them better while turning into a crimson wind all so I can free people"
***** or "become radioactive demon of brass who commands everyone by shouting in rage"

* May not combine tyranids, xenomorphs and zerg and become the humanoid hive queen of the result
** May not add the Vord to this
*** or any other hive mind or swarm of alien locusts

Metastachydium

2022-10-28, 04:56 AM

My powers can't be "basically, I'm cancer scaled up to human size."

Huh? Cancer is ultimately a pathological condition where the cells of an organism (or, rather, various subsets of these cells) begin to proliferate in an uncontrolled and unchecked fashion. You want to be a human body that grows into an uncomely, misshapen ball of human bodies whether you want that or not? How's that a power?

Lord Raziere

2022-10-28, 05:51 AM

DCraw

2022-10-28, 06:18 AM

danielxcutter

2022-10-28, 06:52 AM

* The Unconquered Sun did not have twintails or was actually called the Unconquered Tsun

Metastachydium

2022-10-28, 07:04 AM

Haven't you seen Akira? It may not be a particularly useful power, but blobbing out is definitely an incredibly destructive one.

I don't doubt that. It's just… The main feature of cancer is that it's not under control.

Y'know Deadpool and how he regenerates like Wolverine? Yeah, thats actually canonically supercancer made from regular cancer because superhero comics science loves making problems worse. Since Rater is a big Marvel fan, that is probably what he is thinking of.

Hrm. That is possible. Anyhow, if you'll need me in the next few hours, I'll be right there, murdering catgirls.

danielxcutter

2022-10-28, 07:31 AM

Not making sense is half the fun, like full-body conversion cyborgs with psychic powers and mullets.

D&D_Fan

2022-10-28, 08:16 AM

My powers can't be "basically, I'm cancer scaled up to human size."

Basically, just a mutant who's really good at getting food and reproducing then?

Cancer can be thought of as cells mutating in such a way that they get an advantage over other cells. And that normally represents an upset in any ecosystem, but it's when that ecosystem is a body, that that body gets pretty messed up.

Rater202

2022-10-28, 10:00 AM

Huh? Cancer is ultimately a pathological condition where the cells of an organism (or, rather, various subsets of these cells) begin to proliferate in an uncontrolled and unchecked fashion. You want to be a human body that grows into an uncomely, misshapen ball of human bodies whether you want that or not? How's that a power?
Cancer cells are hard to kill, very good at getting resources, have no limits on how they grow, and are highly prone to mutations that, at the cellular level, are highly benificial to the cancer(but not anything else.)

It'd defintely be a lovecraftian super power, but it'd be useful.

Y'know Deadpool and how he regenerates like Wolverine? Yeah, thats actually canonically supercancer made from regular cancer because superhero comics science loves making problems worse. Since Rater is a big Marvel fan, that is probably what he is thinking of.

Not quite: What happened was they spliced him with a modified version of Wolverines X-Gene complex in the hopes that the healing factor would kill the cancer... Unfortunately, some of his cancer cells also got the mutant DNA.

So Wade's healing factor is constantly suppressing a cancer that keeps spreading too rapidly to be destroyed and is contantly mutating to resist the effects of the healing factor, which in urn keeps adapting o combat the cancer.

At this point, his system is so adapted to fighting cancer that he needs cancer to live. Cure his cancer and his healing factor doesn't know how to tunr off anymore so he'd just start growing misshapen lumps of tissue that isn't technically cancer but would kill him just the same.

And for the record, I was thinking of the Cancer Cell in Cells at Work.

...Which is a weird show. Like, mother**** I don't want to feel bad for cancer. That son of a bitch killed my dad.

Metastachydium

2022-10-28, 11:21 AM

Cancer cells are hard to kill, very good at getting resources, have no limits on how they grow, and are highly prone to mutations that, at the cellular level, are highly benificial to the cancer(but not anything else.)

It'd defintely be a lovecraftian super power, but it'd be useful.

I remain skeptical. For starters, being unchecked is pretty much the thing of cancer. And if you do it at "human" rather than cellular scale, that's a recipe for body horror. Further, cancer is self-defeating. It sabotages and ultimately destroys the organism it requires to exist and prosper. It's good at diverting resources to fuel its spread, but those resources have to come from somewhere and the tumor tissue is unable to produce them.

At this point, his system is so adapted to fighting cancer that he needs cancer to live. Cure his cancer and his healing factor doesn't know how to tunr off anymore so he'd just start growing misshapen lumps of tissue that isn't technically cancer but would kill him just the same.

It is technically cancer. Cancer's not a specific disease. If, for whatever reason, malignant tumors begin to develop in a body, that's cancer, irrespective of what kicked in the carcinogenesis.

Rater202

2022-10-28, 11:36 AM

It is technically cancer. Cancer's not a specific disease. If, for whatever reason, malignant tumors begin to develop in a body, that's cancer, irrespective of what kicked in the carcinogenesis.It's not "technically" cancer because a cure for cancer wouldn't fix it.

Like, explicitly: There are several universal cures for cancer, that is to say, they cure all cancers not just one specific kind, in the Marvel Universe and giving one to Wade wouldn't fix the problem with his healing factor.

Norman Osborn once created a cancer curring weapon specifically to use against Deadpool.

Metastachydium

2022-10-28, 12:37 PM

It's not "technically" cancer because a cure for cancer wouldn't fix it.

Like, explicitly: There are several universal cures for cancer, that is to say, they cure all cancers not just one specific kind, in the Marvel Universe and giving one to Wade wouldn't fix the problem with his healing factor.

Norman Osborn once created a cancer curring weapon specifically to use against Deadpool.

Hrm. This is gonna be a long day. That, and a hard day to be a catgirl. More pertinently, if it's unchecked abnormal proliferation producing malignant tumors, then yes, it is pretty much per definitionem cancer. That the multiple "universal cures" don't work merely means that those cures are not universal after all. I mean, that's like arguing "no aircraft can fly faster than Mach 1; the Lockheed Blackbird can, and therefore it's not an aircraft".

D&D_Fan

2022-10-28, 12:41 PM

Rater202

2022-10-28, 12:52 PM

Hrm. This is gonna be a long day. That, and a hard day to be a catgirl. More pertinently, if it's unchecked abnormal proliferation producing malignant tumors, then yes, it is pretty much per definitionem cancer. That the multiple "universal cures" don't work merely means that those cures are not universal after all. I mean, that's like arguing "no aircraft can fly faster than Mach 1; the Lockheed Blackbird can, and therefore it's not an aircraft".

...

Does cancer make you explode like someone stuffed a firecracker in balloon full of assorted meats?

Because that's the key difference.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-28, 02:07 PM

...

Does cancer make you explode like someone stuffed a firecracker in balloon full of assorted meats?

Because that's the key difference.

I'm sure it would if you got enough of it fast enough. I'm sure white blood cells would do the same if you got enough of them fast enough. I'd also really like to know where Deadpool is getting the energy for this cansplision from, besides 'comic book physics'.

The way people think of cancer, including writers, isn't really entirely consistent with what cancer is. We have cures for cancer in the real world right now, what we don't have is perfectly safe and reliable cures for cancer.

Plus the Marvel Universe only has 100% reliable cures for cancer when a major hero doesn't have to die from it.

Rater202

2022-10-28, 02:32 PM

I'd also really like to know where Deadpool is getting the energy for this cansplision from, besides 'comic book physics'.An extradimensional connection siphoning the cosmic energy of the celestials and processing it to warp reality in a way that manifests through his biology.

Plus the Marvel Universe only has 100% reliable cures for cancer when a major hero doesn't have to die from it.

It's more that they're costly and not available to the public, or they're being hoarded for some reason.

Or someone's just being an *******: Doctor Strange once managed to get his hands on an elixir that cures all diseases and it got stolen from him and destroyed by a drug company that felt that their bottom line was more important than countless people's lives.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-28, 02:39 PM

An extradimensional connection siphoning the cosmic energy of the celestials and processing it to warp reality in a way that manifests through his biology.

Besides 'comic book physics'. Like, an explanation that makes something vaguely resembling sense.

It's more that they're costly and not available to the public, or they're being hoarded for some reason.

Or someone's just being an *******: Doctor Strange once managed to get his hands on an elixir that cures all diseases and it got stolen from him and destroyed by a drug company that felt that their bottom line was more important than countless people's lives.

'Because the writers won't let the surface setting deviate too much from reality'. Got it.

Also if Captain Britain needs to die from cancer for a writer's storyline you can pmbet your socks that the cures suddenly aren't 100% reliable.

tyckspoon

2022-10-28, 03:01 PM

Besides 'comic book physics'. Like, an explanation that makes something vaguely resembling sense.

.. you have to already know that 'justify mutants to me, but stay within the realm of actual real things' is a fool's errand. It's not going to happen - the actual in world explanation for how 'mutants' work is 'they were genetically modified to give them access to a supernatural power source.' It's turtles all the way down from there.

Lord Raziere

2022-10-28, 03:02 PM

Besides 'comic book physics'. Like, an explanation that makes something vaguely resembling sense.

he's draining magic energy from star gods made of hyper-technology to heal magically. this is kind of explanation you get when too many nerds over decades point out all the other explanations don't scientific sense and the writers just want them to shut up already and enjoy the comic.

* My superhero may not be powered by soda
** Their powers may not depend on which soda they consume
*** Their story may not be about how they to deal with an addiction to soda as a result of their powers
**** Or deal with having to hide their need for soda so that corporations don't find out and try to make deals with the hero, not wanting to sell out to them.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-28, 03:14 PM

.. you have to already know that 'justify mutants to me, but stay within the realm of actual real things' is a fool's errand. It's not going to happen - the actual in world explanation for how 'mutants' work is 'they were genetically modified to give them access to a supernatural power source.' It's turtles all the way down from there.

Ah, you see, that explanation makes a lot more sense. Also Rated has a tendency to jump to explanations involving a lot of in-world terminology, when I'm still not 100% certain on mutants vs mutates.

I'm not looking for hard science, I'm looking for something I can follow, like 'werewolves change mass when shifting because they swap shapes with ones stored in their aura. If you can see auras you'll notice theirs waxes and wanes in intensity inversely to their current mass. Also they're really bright, shifter auras are easy to spot'.

he's draining magic energy from star gods made of hyper-technology to heal magically.

Now that makes perfect sense!

Rater202

2022-10-28, 04:04 PM

Ah, you see, that explanation makes a lot more sense. Also Rated has a tendency to jump to explanations involving a lot of in-world terminology, when I'm still not 100% certain on mutants vs mutates.

Originally it was "naturally has power" versus "gained powers from accident or experimentation."

Charles Xavier was born telepathic, Spider-Man only has powers because of the radioactive spider bite.

Once superhuman biology became better understood, the definitions were revised so that mutants were people who manifested powers or physical changes as a result of the expression of the X-Gene complex while mutates were people who manifested powers as a result of other genetic or biological factors, which could be inborn(the Gamma Gene) or artificially induced(the mutations caused by the Goblin Formula.)

There are a whole bunch of other small details that add up to "you know, mutants being their own species makes whole lot more sense now than it did int he sixties" but if I listed them all we've be here all day.

Spore

2022-10-28, 07:23 PM

* Sickle cell, haemophilia, Alzheimer's, and color blindness, though they can result from genetic deviation and mutation, are not considered mutations for the purpose of attending the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters.

This comes to mind. (https://pics.onsizzle.com/is-it-true-they-can-cure-us-yes-rogue-lt-apnears-42904293.png)

"Finally, a cure for my chainsaw hands!" decreed Chainsaw-Hands Joe.
"Shut up, we're perf." says girl who makes clouds.

Rater202

2022-10-28, 07:36 PM

This comes to mind. (https://pics.onsizzle.com/is-it-true-they-can-cure-us-yes-rogue-lt-apnears-42904293.png)

"Finally, a cure for my chainsaw hands!" decreed Chainsaw-Hands Joe.
"Shut up, we're perf." says girl who makes clouds.

I always hate that response to the idea of mutant cures.

Even ignoring how that movie more or less butchered Rogue's character, it's abundantly clear that the cure isn't a choice, people are getting it whether they want it or not.

So Rogue is happy about something that is bad news for literally every other mutant.

Seriously, Storm is showing a great deal of restraint in not smacking some perspective into Rogue right now.

danielxcutter

2022-10-28, 08:32 PM

I mean, I can live with the "cure" existing, it's mostly the forcing factor that's the issue for me.

Also didn't Rogue kill one of her boyfriends or something by accident with her powers?

Lord Raziere

2022-10-28, 08:41 PM

Also, at the end of that movie, its revealed that the effects of that cure are temporary and also made from a child so the whole hullaballoo over it was for basically nothing while making a minor suffer. Not really an argument in favor of a cure.

Rater202

2022-10-28, 08:55 PM

I mean, I can live with the "cure" existing, it's mostly the forcing factor that's the issue for me.
The very idea of calling it a cure is inherently offensive because it presumes that a large number of people are "sick" because they happened to be born differant.

It's very existence is a threat, because as long as it exists there is the possibility that someone will force it on mutants who don't want it.

...And Mutants like Cyclops and Rogue are a minority among mutants, to the point of being statistically insignificant. Even if you think that their condition is worth "curing..."

...Out of a population of millions, you'd be able to help... Maybe a dozen, extrapolating from numbers.

Mass producing such a drug, a single batch is going to have many times more what you need to actually help the people who might actually benefit from it, which shows you the actual priorities of the people making it.

danielxcutter

2022-10-28, 09:06 PM

Oh, I don't disagree with all that. I just can't really blame people who get majorly screwed over by their powers for... not wanting them.

Of course, for like 99.999% of the mutant population they don't have it that bad, I get that much.

Lord Raziere

2022-10-28, 10:09 PM

Honestly, If I were doing something like X-men, I'd instead make all the mutants have one power called "Zapslinger" they would all shoot lightning from their fingertips but it'd only as powerful as a hand pistol. No more dangerous than an actual firearm. this would make the metaphor clearer as while they'd have a power that normal people don't, they wouldn't actually be more dangerous than a person with an actual gun and the comic would open with a normal student doing a school shooting out of revenge for some bullying from other normal people while some Zapslinger with some control, shoots to stun the person rather than kill him but gets punished for using their power at all. the shooter and the zapslinger would live while various students would die from the shooter's actions and it would go into an examination of how humans don't need superpowers to kill each other and be dangerous and how prejudice can make people overlook the flaws that are already present within ourselves by projecting it onto others. the zapslinger would of course get taught lessons about responsible use of power and safety and such and how they were lucky that that they didn't kill the shooter themselves.

now examining this with someone more powerful than humans like Magneto, Superman, Jean Grey and so on....thats a different issue requiring a different story, and isn't comparable to the Zapslinger metaphor. imagine a mutant type called "Exploder" much rarer and can blow up a city. No ability to restrain this ability or empower it, just when its used, an explosion that can take out a city, happens. to keep the setting modern and normal, not only is this power rare, most people who have it probably don't even KNOW they have it, because the circumstances where they'd discover it would cause a lot of destruction because how would they know they can do this themselves unless it has been used at least once? But government scientists found the one person of an Exploder type mutant they know of from a crater caused in anger, perhaps in the ruins of a small town far away from most metropolises and extrapolated from studying them, that there are a very small number of Exploders on planet Earth- even at the billions we have now, their numbers would maybe be a hundred at the most. the one Exploder person would be distraught and depressed that they caused this and would be afraid of 99 other people having it and the agents involved would have incentive to track down these people and figure out if they have this Exploder gene before even the person themselves knows about it and figure out what to do with them, because if they try to forcefully take them they could make the Exploder angry and take them all out as well as the surrounding area, ending more lives than saving them if they are not careful, yet something must be done or who knows when an Exploder will accidentally cause this again? Worse, what if someone who wants to use this power to destroy their enemies figures it out it exists? it would be a look into how such a power would be more of a curse than a blessing for those that have it, what the ethical thing to do about this would be for those tasked with keeping people safe, and how its completely unfair to normal people who through a quirk of genetics got something that could ruin their whole life and the lives for those around them for no reason. emphasis would be placed on none of the Exploders turning evil or wanting to use their power at all- they'd just be victims of something they can't control and the people around them trying to figure out what to do about their existence.

* May not be inspired by X-men to make focused stories about superpowers that eschew them being unique or cool for the sake of a storytelling metaphor

danielxcutter

2022-10-28, 10:28 PM

When you have individuals roughly equivalent to WMDs, the calculus does shift somewhat, yes.

Preeeeeeetty sure that most mutants in X-Men are closer to your former example than the latter though.

Rater202

2022-10-28, 10:34 PM

When you have individuals roughly equivalent to WMDs, the calculus does shift somewhat, yes.

Preeeeeeetty sure that most mutants in X-Men are closer to your former example than the latter though.

The majority of mutants have powers like "I'm blue" or "I poop ice cream." When they have powers at all.

Mutants with practical or dangerous powers are a large minority.

The "living WMD" mutants are the smallest number and most of them didn't start that way.

danielxcutter

2022-10-28, 10:52 PM

Yeah, checks out. WMD level powers are uncommon enough that they can be dealt with on a personalized basis?

Rater202

2022-10-28, 11:28 PM

Yeah, checks out. WMD level powers are uncommon enough that they can be dealt with on a personalized basis?

The earliest known mutant was born 17 thousand years ago, not counting time travel. At the highest measured population, mutants numbered at about 16 million.

In all that time, with all of those numbers, there has been exactly two mutants whose power posed an immediate risk to a large number of individuals upon activation. One of them immediately gained control of it, the other was only a threat n the first place because she was panicking after being attacked in response to her powers activating.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-29, 03:26 AM

Eh, when there's eventually billions of mutants somebody's going to eventually develop recursive supernova powers. Having a working method to deactivate dangerous powers and then have them reactivate slowly is going to be useful. Plus some kind of power limiter for people as passively dangerous as Rogue to snog without killing their partners.

Plus some day people who's powers cause immortality will want to die. You can argue whether or not it's moral, and there's always the possibility of healing factors and the like burning out before then (as I believe happens to Logan in some futures), but it's another reason to potentially want a stock of 'cure'.

* My superhero cannot spend all their points on five Sidekicks.
** My sidekicks cannot spend all their points on giant aerospace vehicles.

danielxcutter

2022-10-29, 03:57 AM

Yeah, that was more or less what I was thinking. The "cure" was more or less thinly-justified racism in-setting in terms of implementation, not going to argue that.

Rater202

2022-10-29, 10:33 AM

Eh, when there's eventually billions of mutants somebody's going to eventually develop recursive supernova powers. Having a working method to deactivate dangerous powers and then have them reactivate slowly is going to be useful. Plus some kind of power limiter for people as passively dangerous as Rogue to snog without killing their partners.

1: They have that, it's called "a telepath puts in a slowly degrading mental block."

2: Likewise, the solution to someone like Rogue is "psychotherapy to overcome whatever trauma creates the mental block that prevents the regulation of their powers."

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-29, 12:12 PM

1: They have that, it's called "a telepath puts in a slowly degrading mental block."

A) you're assuming there are telepaths available.

B) Yeah, like I'd want someone messing about in my head when there's a reliable injection.

C) Actually, I'm not sure I want a telepath messing about in my head at all.

The way that the various Marvel Universes treat mutants is as bad as how 40k treats Psykers. That doesn't mean that some of the tools they use don't have productive uses. A short term suppressor is much better than a permanent cure, I'm not even against weaponising such a thing.

2: Likewise, the solution to someone like Rogue is "psychotherapy to overcome whatever trauma creates the mental block that prevents the regulation of their powers."

From my admittedly limited experience of Marvel, there's no implication that Rogue's powers aren't working exactly as they're supposed to. So from the point of view of the films the suppression is a legitimately useful thing for Rogue.

Rogue's in a weird situation where her powers can potentially be incredibly useful, but she lacks the ability to live a normal life without medication. We probably want a suppressor with a shorter length than the one in the film, but it's a good way for her to manage her disability.

...hell that's a character I can add to the superhero/urban fantasy story I have on the back burner. Somebody who uses medication to help manage an automatic power (probably some kind of temperature control).

Rockphed

2022-10-29, 12:35 PM

he's draining magic energy from star gods made of hyper-technology to heal magically. this is kind of explanation you get when too many nerds over decades point out all the other explanations don't scientific sense and the writers just want them to shut up already and enjoy the comic.

* My superhero may not be powered by soda
** Their powers may not depend on which soda they consume
*** Their story may not be about how they to deal with an addiction to soda as a result of their powers
**** Or deal with having to hide their need for soda so that corporations don't find out and try to make deals with the hero, not wanting to sell out to them.

I present Michiganman! He flies when he drinks Vernors, gets various powers from Faygo, and can teleport anywhere in Michigan by pointing at his hand.

* My superhero cannot spend all their points on five Sidekicks.
** My sidekicks cannot spend all their points on giant aerospace vehicles.

Are you playing Coran? Or the guy who tells the power ranges what to do?

Rater202

2022-10-29, 12:36 PM

A) you're assuming there are telepaths available.

B) Yeah, like I'd want someone messing about in my head when there's a reliable injection.

C) Actually, I'm not sure I want a telepath messing about in my head at all.

The way that the various Marvel Universes treat mutants is as bad as how 40k treats Psykers. That doesn't mean that some of the tools they use don't have productive uses. A short term suppressor is much better than a permanent cure, I'm not even against weaponising such a thing.

Most of the mutant cures arne't temporary. You take the shot and the best case scenario is yur powers are gone forever.

The hope fomula had a temporary ersion, but overdosing on it made the effects permenant(it was a matter of concentration) and the creator destroyed it when she realized that it was being used as a terror weapon by anti-mutant hate groups.

The worst-case scenario? X-Cise didn't actually make someone not a mutant, it chemically lobotomized them, destroying the part of their brain that regulated their powers.

Beyond that, telepathy is literally the most common mutant power.
From my admittedly limited experience of Marvel, there's no implication that Rogue's powers aren't working exactly as they're supposed to.

That wasn't a made-up example. Canonically the reason Rogue's powers don't turn off is because she first used them by accident while kissing a boy and the one-two punch of suddenly having his memories and him ending up in a coma traumatized her and gave her a psychological block that prevented her from regulating her powers.

She overcame this block and was then able to regulate her powers as normal, barring a few incidents where nostalgic writers try to screw her over for the nostalgia but those incidents never last long.

This is, canonically, the case for every mutant who can't regulate their powers. Likewise, Scott Summers is supposed to be able to turn off his optic blasts, but he has brain damage. And sometimes you get control issues if your powers awaken prematurely, like the little girl with dream manifestation powers that got shaken awake by night terrors.

Unless your mutant power is "I'm an antropmorfic cat" or "I have a healing factor," ot the like, it's supposed to turn off. The Celestials put time and effort into guiding the course of human evolution to create a superpowered species for a reason, they put in safety measures to stop them from accidentally going extinct.

*I'm not allowed to point out that Psykers actually being a potential gateway for Chaos and not having inbuilt safety measures into their powers means that comparing them to Mutants doesn't scan.
**The most about comparison in 40K would be the actual mutants.
***Even then, I think Marvel Mutants have it worse. There's no cult in 40K kidnapping mutant/psyker children in order to harvest their organs and graft them to others to get their powers while telling the mutants/psykers that they're being bigoted against baseline humans for not wanting to be murdered for their organs.

danielxcutter

2022-10-29, 12:37 PM

I mean, using medicine to treat symptoms or take the edge off is very common IRL. That seems like it’d be the next logical step.

Also re: psykers… well, WH40K. Do I actually have to explain that?

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-29, 12:56 PM

Are you playing Coran? Or the guy who tells the power ranges what to do?

If I could find a GM who doesn't ban it at first mention the characters' first complication/disadvantage would be 'cannot walk convincingly'. Also one of the sidekicks never participates in actual operations, they pretty much just relay communications.

On Rogue, I think her having control over her powers is actually less interesting. This isn't just from an 'oh woe is me' point of view, you can spin plots out of her need for accomodations and/or mitigations. Like there's an entire movie possible just in the fact that Storm and Rogue are disagreeing over the 'cure'.

But then again Marvel's probably run out of interesting things to do with the Marvel Universe, you can't throw a stone without hitting 80 years of lore telling you that it wouldn't bounce that way. It's probably time to wrap it up and start a new story with new characters.

I'll also tell the psykers being fed to the ancient corpse to be happy they're not being killed for a different reason.

Rater202

2022-10-29, 01:05 PM

I'll also tell the psykers being fed to the ancient corpse to be happy they're not being killed for a different reason.
Do you have any idea how much human sacrifice happens in the Imperium? Every single sanctified Bolter bolt has a dead human behind it. The Psykers aren't special in that regard.

But they aren't having their organs ripped out while they're alive and conscious by some ******* who wants their powers.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-29, 01:17 PM

Do you have any idea how much human sacrifice happens in the Imperium? Every single sanctified Bolter bolt has a dead human behind it. The Psykers aren't special in that regard.

Am I trying to claim the Imperium are good guys in any way?

But they aren't having their organs ripped out while they're alive and conscious by some ******* who wants their powers.

Given the sheer scale of the Imperium it's more than possible. But psykers also have to face other forms of torment and being used as living tools (and sanctioning is not exactly a pleasant process). Much of the Imperium literally treats them as subhuman.

They don't have to go through the exact same ****, but they do have to go through roughly same magnitude of ****. Unless you're saying that having your soul devoured by an immortal bastard is pleasant

Rater202

2022-10-29, 01:29 PM

They don't have to go through the exact same ****, but they do have to go through roughly same magnitude of ****. Unless you're saying that having your soul devoured by an immortal bastard is pleasant

Given that the forces of Chaos control the Warp and the Warp is the afterlife, I'm pretty sure literally everyone goes through that sooner or later.

The ones Sacrificed to the Emporer are the lucky ones.

Lord Raziere

2022-10-29, 03:50 PM

***Even then, I think Marvel Mutants have it worse. There's no cult in 40K kidnapping mutant/psyker children in order to harvest their organs and graft them to others to get their powers while telling the mutants/psykers that they're being bigoted against baseline humans for not wanting to be murdered for their organs.

**** Y'know, Just an entire galatic Empire genociding them whenever they aren't lazy about it and getting away with it without any heroes or hope of escaping.
***** your foolish if you think there aren't cults in 40k who'd do exactly that, fanaticism and hypocrisy are constants in the humans of 40k.
****** Technically Chaos often recruits mutants to join their cause THEN they get slaughtered by the Imperium which is worse then merely getting killed before they join, because that means their souls get to be tortured by the Chaos gods for all eternity.

danielxcutter

2022-10-29, 06:56 PM

Also it’s WH40K, aka the origin of the term “grimdark”. Well, more like grimderp honestly.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-29, 07:40 PM

Grimtire. 10 chats

TeChameleon

2022-10-29, 08:32 PM

Warhammer 40k: Where everyone and everything in the entire universe is hangry, cranky and needs a nap.

As an aside, there's already a safe, effective way to shut off mutant powers in the Marvel Universe- Genoshan Inhibitor Collars. Slim one of those down to a choker or a bracelet or whatever that can be easily removed by the wearer when they want, and voila, no problems with uncontrollable powers. Honestly, I think writers just ignore those because they want to milk more 'drama' out of some weird mutant 'cure'. Again.

* My superhero must have a goal other than 'force all the canon heroes to swap rogues' galleries', no matter how funny it would be to see Lex Luthor get his head handed to him by Aquaman, or have the Joker slowly go even crazier because every time he tries something, the Flash has him back in Arkham Asylum between blinks. Also, whoever got Wonder Woman's rogues' gallery would be ****ed.

** No, the goal can't be 'eat Amazo's heart to gain his power', either.
- Because "Cannibalman" was never an allowed superhero concept, and Amazo doesn't have a heart anyways.

*** "Getting a happy ending for the X-Men" doesn't work either; you have to choose an achievable goal. Hamfisted racism allegories don't get happy endings.

danielxcutter

2022-10-29, 08:59 PM

I mean, "milking the setting for moar drama" kinda explains... a lot about modern long-running comic books.

Metastachydium

2022-10-30, 01:39 PM

Do you have any idea how much human sacrifice happens in the Imperium? Every single sanctified Bolter bolt has a dead human behind it. The Psykers aren't special in that regard.

But they aren't having their organs ripped out while they're alive and conscious by some ******* who wants their powers.

Also it’s WH40K, aka the origin of the term “grimdark”. Well, more like grimderp honestly.

Grimtire.

Meh. Marvel is trying a bit too hard to grow up to that task.
[Mutant 1: Huh. This week's attempted genocide seems to be late.
Mutant 2: [Checks calendar.] Hm. Yeah, it's thursday and there's nothing yet. Weird.
Mutant 1: Right?
Mutant 2: Yeah. Hrm. You think this means they'll do two next week?]

Rater202

2022-10-30, 03:48 PM

Meh. Marvel is trying a bit too hard to grow up to that task.
[Mutant 1: Huh. This week's attempted genocide seems to be late.
Mutant 2: [Checks calendar.] Hm. Yeah, it's thursday and there's nothing yet. Weird.
Mutant 1: Right?
Mutant 2: Yeah. Hrm. You think this means they'll do two next week?]

I know you're joking, but they actually managed to go three years between genocides this time.

Lord Raziere

2022-10-30, 05:17 PM

* May not derail the joke thread with talks of marvel cyclical storytelling

* May not a make a superhero who was taught a Superhero Code similar to a knights one as basically a list of behaviors Superman would approve of
** Then have in their backstory, break it and be treated like a ronin who has dishonored themselves

* May not make a new kind of superpower based entirely on having the power of a single verb
** Verb Use: Stop is an abstract power that can be applied to many things, but Stop: Saying Memes is probably abusing it
*** so is Stop: Being Serious
**** Start: Hilarity will have inconsistent results
***** Prank: The world is only funny so many times.
****** Punch: Despair is not the way to solve depression
******* Verb Users are overpowered and ridiculous.

Rater202

2022-10-30, 05:22 PM

* May not a make a superhero who was taught a Superhero Code similar to a knights one as basically a list of behaviors Superman would approve of
** Then have in their backstory, break it and be treated like a ronin who has dishonored themselves

***May not make a Chi User who takes "The Way of The Spider" too seriously and seeks to achieve enlightenment through the emulation of Spider-Man.

thorr-kan

2022-10-30, 05:47 PM

I present Michiganman! He flies when he drinks Vernors, gets various powers from Faygo, and can teleport anywhere in Michigan by pointing at his hand.
What about the rest of the state?! Friggin' Troll regionalist...
^THIS is a Joke. If you are Not From Michigan, I am going ruin it by Explaining The Joke.

The Lower Peninsula is shaped like a mitten. And Michiganders do indeed greet each other by holding out a hand and pointing. Those of us from the *other* third of the state (the Upper Peninsula) shake our heads and say, "Above the Bridge!"

Since LP residents live Under the Bridge, they are, by definition, Trolls...

Regional and National media have a tendency to assume the UP is part of Canada, or even worse, delete it from visual representations entirely. At least the majority of LP residents remember the UP exists...

*Banned from playing Michiganman. Because I totally would.
**Banned from playing a Wolverine based on the state's official animal and the mascot of the REAL UoM. Because I would do it...
***We don't TALK ABOUT the *terrible, terrible* superhero parodies I stated up in the MSH RPG back in the 80s, living in Michigan. Any resemblance to persons living or dead was entirely intentional, and some of those people could still find me...
****Not allowed to flog this equine corpse anymore, Halloween or not.

D&D_Fan

2022-10-30, 08:52 PM

* Your alternate geographic history USA setting cannot have East Dakota and West Dakota as divided by the Missouri river.
** While it makes sense initially, the north-south placement creates further buffering between the USA and Canada.
*** North and South Virginia, on the other hand.
**** Almost heaven...
***** North Virginia (N. Virginia would have the Blue Ridge Mountains, and Shenandoah valley in it...)
****** Yeah no, it doesn't have the same ring to it.
******* North Virginia Man cannot fight Michiganman.

Rockphed

2022-10-30, 10:01 PM

What about the rest of the state?! Friggin' Troll regionalist...

When I want to point out a location on the lower peninsula, I point to my right hand. When I want to point to a location on the upper peninsula I point to my left hand. It isn't as good a map but it works decently. Houghton is on my right thumb knuckle. Green bay is on the webbing between my right ring and pinky fingers. (I may have accidentally annexed Green Bay and the peninsula south of it now that I look at a proper map). No, what he cannot do is teleport to Isle Royale.

* Ohioman does not have the power of "Heart".
* New-York-man is not part alligator. Neither is Floridaman.
** Neither of them can summon alligators to do their bidding.
*** Alligators do not have thumbs and cannot open doors.
* Utahman is not just an angry swarm of bees.
* Idahoman must have some non-potato powers.
* Texasman is not Chip Gaines. Just because the two of them have never been seen in the same room does not make one the secret identity of the other.
** Texasman is also not Joanna Gaines. Besides, what sort of superpowers do you get in a freak interior design accident?

Lord Raziere

2022-10-30, 10:13 PM

* Washington State Man does not have the power to make it rain whenever they want
** Nor does he have some technopathic power over all digital devices.
*** finally they do not have the power to summon a ferry to get to anywhere they want.

* may not make a superhero campaign of a team of new villains that try to infiltrate a big superhero organization separately and are all assigned to work together. Each one thinking the other four are heroes.
** they may not try to pass for heroes and end up gradually becoming heroes and comrades for real.
*** may not find themselves facing a problem of what do about their double agent status to the five villain organizations they came from and keeping the secret of their spy status to each other and the superhero organization they're apart of.

Lord Torath

2022-10-31, 03:49 PM

**** May not keep the players in the dark as well, as to the double-agent status of the rest of the team.

Rater202

2022-10-31, 04:34 PM

* My Superhero Origin can't be that I'm a little kid kidnapped by a mad scientist and infused with nanomachines, not unlike the exabytes from DCUO, containing the DNA, skills, knowledge, mystical or technological information, memories, and metahuman energy of Steppenwolf, Harley Quinn, Atrocitus, Professor Zoom, Alkyone, and The Marshal to create an evil counterpart of Shazam who none the less dwarfs the original in power and skill.
** "I wanted a Batman villain" does not adequately explain why Harley is lumped in with those powerhouses.
***The reason I'm a hero instead of a villain was "the idiot forgot to brainwash me."
****The explanation for how having the knowledge and memories of all of those villains and psychoses didn't drive me insane shouldn't be "uhduhnuh."
*****The powers shouldn't be dormant until I shout "Shazam!" which trigers a horrific, Akira-esque biomechanical metamorphosis.
******Said metamorphosis shouldn't culminate into a standard "ideal of fitness and beauty" adult superhero body.
*******I can't be incredibly cheerful about all of the above.

Lord Raziere

2022-10-31, 05:47 PM

* May not turn the billionaire-playboy corporation-owning superhero archetype into a figurative form of landed nobility like a samurai or a knight
** the city they work in may not be the land they defend
*** Batman getting a Robin to train isn't just a knight getting a squire
**** may not make billionaire heroes fight each other over cities out of perceiving each other of doing badly at defending them from crime
***** May not recreate game of thrones or the Sengoku Jidai out of corporate superheroes fighting to bring order to the world.

Anonymouswizard

2022-10-31, 07:53 PM

* My superhero concept cannot be 'I get short term powers whenever I'm exposed to toxic waste'.

* 'There are problems you can't solve with a spell' is not an invitation to abuse the ritual magic rules.

thorr-kan

2022-11-01, 02:51 PM

When I want to point out a location on the lower peninsula, I point to my right hand. When I want to point to a location on the upper peninsula I point to my left hand. It isn't as good a map but it works decently. Houghton is on my right thumb knuckle. Green bay is on the webbing between my right ring and pinky fingers. (I may have accidentally annexed Green Bay and the peninsula south of it now that I look at a proper map). No, what he cannot do is teleport to Isle Royale.
1. Hold your left hand horizontal, fingertips pointing right.
2. Raise your thumb. That's the Keweenaw Peninsula.
3. Curl your pointer finger. That's the rest of the Superior shore.
4. Leave you middle and ring fingers. Those are St. Ignace and the Soo.
5. Scissor your pinky out as far as is comfortable. That's the point of land ending in Menominee.

I have NOT put too much thought into this over the years.

I'm pleasantly surprised at the number of the times I've made this gesture in response to the Mitten and gotten the response, "Oh, a Yooper!" *I* don't think it's obvious, but other Michiganders sure do recognize it.

*The Mitten can also double as an ID for 'sconsi if you squint.
**Ohioman is a punk. (Both my sisters-in-law married Buckeyes. I am morally obligated to give them grief.)

* may not make a superhero campaign of a team of new villains that try to infiltrate a big superhero organization separately and are all assigned to work together. Each one thinking the other four are heroes.
** they may not try to pass for heroes and end up gradually becoming heroes and comrades for real.
*** may not find themselves facing a problem of what do about their double agent status to the five villain organizations they came from and keeping the secret of their spy status to each other and the superhero organization they're apart of.
Are you kidding? I'd play the Hell outta that campaign. With the right kind of players, it'd be the right kind of PvP at its finest. Granted, you need the right group.

Wookieetank

2022-11-03, 09:31 AM

Are you kidding? I'd play the Hell outta that campaign. With the right kind of players, it'd be the right kind of PvP at its finest. Granted, you need the right group.

Sounds like Paranoia, but with superheroes. Really ends up with less PVP and more scheming behind each other's backs. Is delightful chaotic fun.

*Escaping from alpha complex when a mission goes south is poor form.
**Making friends with the city sized cockroach the DM was expecting us to use the experimental weapon we stole on, is rude apparently.
***Riding the cockroach into battle against alpha complex, and using said experimental weapon as our main form of attack is just rubbing salt in the wound.

thorr-kan

2022-11-03, 12:42 PM

Sounds like Paranoia, but with superheroes. Really ends up with less PVP and more scheming behind each other's backs. Is delightful chaotic fun.

*Escaping from alpha complex when a mission goes south is poor form.
**Making friends with the city sized cockroach the DM was expecting us to use the experimental weapon we stole on, is rude apparently.
***Riding the cockroach into battle against alpha complex, and using said experimental weapon as our main form of attack is just rubbing salt in the wound.
Who says you can't win RPGs?

*Old Man Henderson is a bad example for "winning RPGs?"
**I think the DM might be a traitor, Friend Computer!

Wookieetank

2022-11-03, 04:06 PM

Who says you can't win RPGs?

I think we ended up winning and losing at about the same time. Friend Computer sent out nuke equipped bombers from alpha complex, incinerating the party, and making the cockroach slightly larger (and the only survivor from the whole ordeal).

Personification

2022-11-03, 04:16 PM

Who says you can't win RPGs?

*Old Man Henderson is a bad example for "winning RPGs?"
**I think the DM might be a traitor, Friend Computer!

***I may not shut down Alpha complex by logic bombing Friend Computer by convincing it that it is a Communist

Telok

2022-11-03, 11:22 PM

I think we ended up winning and losing at about the same time. Friend Computer sent out nuke equipped bombers from alpha complex, incinerating the party, and making the cockroach slightly larger (and the only survivor from the whole ordeal).

Sounds like a win to me.

Unrelated, I may soon-ish get banned from making my own settings. Only just over 20 crystal spheres out of almost 300 on the map and already I've written the phrase "giant toe moon with deranged vampire pirate king".

Bohandas

2022-11-04, 03:34 AM

*"the real treasure is friendship" is not an excuse to bury my pirate crew alive

Quetzalogic

2022-11-06, 02:33 AM

Yes, yes it is the one. I may have gotten a little carried away there. Or, as my players pointed out, a whole lot carried away.

* I am not allowed to increase the size of the Ravager by a factor of 100 just because I found it inconceivable that a puny little beholder "only" a mile across could destroy one whole world, let alone hundreds of worlds across multiple spheres.

PCs vs. Unicron sounds like a great campaign TBH.

Spore

2022-11-06, 03:01 PM

PCs vs. Unicron sounds like a great campaign TBH.

I don't even know if Transformers isn't just a giant D&D campaign that happens to be transforming robots.
* Having a transformer ponder what was first, the vehicle or the robot is NOT locking them in a logical loop.
** Seriously, Quintesson slave lords are basically just mindflayers crossed with Ferengi.
*** Sufficiently developed robot magic is indistinguishable from mortal magic.
**** I am not to try and technobabble my way out of a deus ex machina plot device to explain how it is not magical and totally rooted in this world's lore.
***** The term deus ex machina is especially avoided for deities born from advanced AIs saving the heroes.
****** That is IT. The Xenoblade franchise would like to have a word with you. Back in that alley where the Yakuza bodyguards stand.

danielxcutter

2022-11-06, 07:15 PM

To be entirely honest giant robots feels very Artificer. Or Wizard/Sorcerer, if PCs can make golems in 5e.

KorvinStarmast

2022-11-07, 09:15 AM

* I may no longer allow my Griffon to partake of the moonshine that the druids in my barony brew if I want to fly on him after the meeting.

Lord Raziere

2022-11-08, 10:26 AM

PhoenixPhyre

2022-11-08, 10:52 AM

* the Blade of Irony can't be dull and flat, in order to better remove wrinkles.
** It also can't just be a normal sword made of the metal Fe.

danielxcutter

2022-11-08, 08:12 PM

* May not forge and wield a sword called the Ridicublade
** The sword may not start as a buster-sword sized sword
*** May not get larger, more powerful and more ridiculous every time someone points out how ridiculous it is
**** May not only be wielded by someone who likes it unironically

* May not make a legendary super katana that only functions as indestructible all-cutting super sword if the wielder unironically likes that myth
** Ironic or exploitative mindsets trying to game it may not get punished for pretending to believe

* may not make a Blade of Irony for the ironic or comedic minded
** The blade may not ironically, be unable to cut anything and in fact fuses things together or attaches them as it passes through

* may not make an Antimeme Blade that gets permanently stronger every time you use to kill someone who says a meme within you presence within the minute they say it
** the blade may not kill the wielder if they utter any meme themselves while they wield it.

Re: Blade of Irony, there was this LitRPG where one of the swords was a BFS... with 1 attack, though incredibly durable. Turns out it symbolized the metal used for a sword, and the flaw in the concept(loooooong story).

KorvinStarmast

2022-11-10, 07:50 AM

* I may no longer have the NPC transmuter, whom the party rescued but whom they asked me to control since none of them has ever run a wizard, cast Animate Objects on ten arrows from the party monk's quiver.

** I may no longer refer to that as Psychotic Psinger Psewing Machine on Pspeed.

*** I may no longer auto-forward to voice mail when I get the next phone call form the Frost Giant Anti-Defamation League, and the SPCA, given the horrors inflicted on a few polar bears ... :smalleek:

Pauly

2022-11-10, 09:25 PM

* the Blade of Irony can't be dull and flat, in order to better remove wrinkles.
** It also can't just be a normal sword made of the metal Fe.

** The Blade of Steely may not have completely different and unrelated properties to the blade of Irony.

Spore

2022-11-11, 03:59 AM

* May not forge and wield a sword called the Ridicublade
** The sword may not start as a buster-sword sized sword
*** May not get larger, more powerful and more ridiculous every time someone points out how ridiculous it is
**** May not only be wielded by someone who likes it unironically

* May not make a legendary super katana that only functions as indestructible all-cutting super sword if the wielder unironically likes that myth
** Ironic or exploitative mindsets trying to game it may not get punished for pretending to believe

* may not make a Blade of Irony for the ironic or comedic minded
** The blade may not ironically, be unable to cut anything and in fact fuses things together or attaches them as it passes through

* may not make an Antimeme Blade that gets permanently stronger every time you use to kill someone who says a meme within you presence within the minute they say it
** the blade may not kill the wielder if they utter any meme themselves while they wield it.

*You may never base your magic item's properties on the concept of "liking something unironically".
** This does not include but is adjacent to believing into one of the following:
- yourself
- the power of friendship
- the power of incredible violence
- the heart of the cards
- your training
*** If one of you lot recycle just ONE tired anime or story trope above, I will personally craft a boss monster that counters all your shenanigans thus far.
**** If you truly believe in something, believe in the oversights and imcompetence of your DM.

Rater202

2022-11-11, 10:46 AM

There are better ways to fight vampires than loading holy relics into a blunderbuss.

noob

2022-11-11, 03:35 PM

There are better ways to fight vampires than loading holy relics into a blunderbuss.

Better? Probably.
As satisfying? No.
** throwing the planet in the sun while able to kill vampires also kills non vampires.

D&D_Fan

2022-11-11, 04:41 PM

There are better ways to fight vampires than loading holy relics into a blunderbuss.

*Filling a Super Soaker with milk to fight vampires because "Count Chocula gets soggy in milk, this one should too" is not a valid option.

Tohron

2022-11-11, 06:48 PM

* I may not experimentally test whether vampires are extra-vulnerable to H-bombs.

KorvinStarmast

2022-11-12, 10:21 AM

* I may not experimentally test whether vampires are extra-vulnerable to H-bombs. Given that we used to refer to nuclear depth charges (yeah, those were a thing when I was in the Navy) as "a bucket of sunshine" I'd suspect that nukes nullify a vampire's regeneration feature.:smallbiggrin:

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-12, 11:13 AM

* I may not experimentally test whether vampires are extra-vulnerable to H-bombs.

I suspect that the explosion of an h-bomb is sufficient enough to deal aggravated damage to humans (considering that a grenade is). As vampires downgrade everything except their banes by one level the question is what the primary source of the damage is, if it's light or heat they'll be taking aggravated damage, if it's the shockwave probably just lethal.

Now your average vampire, after taking Disciplines into account, probably has about 11 health levels. If the bomb is able to do at least 22 damage (which I believe would be pretty small by fusion bomb standards) it's going to be difficult to get enough subjects to properly test this hypothesis.

* My vampire cannot take 'fissile material: as a bane

danielxcutter

2022-11-12, 11:22 AM

I haven't been reading the rulebooks enough to remember, but I assume once all health levels are filled with bashing it turns into lethal, and then agg? And actual lethal and agg just skip the bashing part?

Also I'm pretty sure thermonuclear weapons are more or less an instakill against anything that isn't a... which WoD is this? Either way, I think you have to be at least a Mage with 5 dots in Forces to shrug it off and almost anything else pretty much turns into ashes?

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-12, 12:49 PM

I haven't been reading the rulebooks enough to remember, but I assume once all health levels are filled with bashing it turns into lethal, and then agg? And actual lethal and agg just skip the bashing part?

Pretty much. Lethal and agg also push lesser damage to the next box, which IIRC can also 'roll over'.

Also I'm pretty sure thermonuclear weapons are more or less an instakill against anything that isn't a... which WoD is this? Either way, I think you have to be at least a Mage with 5 dots in Forces to shrug it off and almost anything else pretty much turns into ashes?

CofD, so anything which gets to ~50 is an instakill for anybody who isn't built for the absolute limits of toughness (and 60 should deal with them). I'm sure we can get a big further with abusing blood magic, but if it kills a BP10 vampire with maxed Stamina and Resilience it'll probably kill anything short of a mage, mummy, or promethean. If we were going to stat nukes they'd likely be an order of magnitude higher at minimum.

Yeah, let's go with a damage of '+Caine'.

danielxcutter

2022-11-12, 12:56 PM

I know some Prometheans are literally spawned from radiation(I think they’re the Zeka?) so if you mean those it makes sense. I hear mummies are incredibly powerful when they first wake up, but that powerful?

That being said yeah, even something like a True Fae is probably getting booted back into the Hedge if it gets a nuke to the face. Unless it has a contract for that, but I think those have limits?

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-12, 01:19 PM

I know some Prometheans are literally spawned from radiation(I think they’re the Zeka?) so if you mean those it makes sense. I hear mummies are incredibly powerful when they first wake up, but that powerful?

Prometheans have a limited ability to come back from the dead, as long as they have a use left they can probably manage it. I'm not exactly sure how it works in 2e, but in 1e everybody could do it once and being an Orisian or buying their power let you do it as long as you had 2+ Azoth.

Mummies can regenerate from organs they've hidden in jars, or as a last ditch get their cult to put them in a new body (which isn't certain). They're also IIRC unkillable as long as they've Sealed Their Flesh, but I left my book at home and think that only lasts a few rounds per Pillar point you spend.

Yeah, fully powered mummies have mage levels of power, although they're not as flexible. They lose a lot of it as their Sekhem drops, but some tricks like Sealing The Flesh still work at Sekhem 1.

danielxcutter

2022-11-12, 11:45 PM

Plus, at the end of the day mages are still baseline humans(albeit possibly well-trained and resourceful ones with magical items) while mummies… aren’t.

Rater202

2022-11-13, 12:17 PM

The big bad can't be a megalomaniacal bard who plans to ascend to godhood via a ritual of mass human sacrifice carried out by spamming Mass Suggestion to compel entire villages to dance themselves to death.

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-13, 02:24 PM

Plus, at the end of the day mages are still baseline humans(albeit possibly well-trained and resourceful ones with magical items) while mummies… aren’t.

Yeah, mummies are weird. They're pretty much the point where CofD really went off the rails (after Changeling shifted it away from being a WoD reboot).

Not to go too far into WoD geekery, but Arisen are some kind of weird proto-Promethean proto-Mage deal. Like Sekhem is officially pre-supernal, which means that Irem might have actually existed and fallen before the Sundered World dark era, or it might have come from a history an Archmaster removed for some reason. The end result is a massive amount of raw power, but they can't just pull a new spell out of their arse.

KorvinStarmast

2022-11-13, 03:30 PM

* I may no longer sing "He came in through the stained glass window1" as I crash through it, behind the altar where cultists are doing a ceremony, fractions of a second before the wizard turns me into a T-Rex. (I should have been singing a song by T-Rex, such as "Bang a Gong" but it didn't seem to fit the situation, or maybe "the Wizard" but it didn't have a nice little song hook ...)

1(The song reference is "She came in through the bathroom window" by the Beatles)

dspeyer

2022-11-13, 04:58 PM

* Nor may I have a T-Rex sing "Happy Birthday to You"
** At a hundred and sixty decibels
*** In an echoey parking garage
**** While fighting a pack of cornerhounds that navigate exclusively by sonar

KorvinStarmast

2022-11-13, 10:01 PM

* Nor may I have a T-Rex sing "Happy Birthday to You"
** At a hundred and sixty decibels
*** In an echoey parking garage
**** While fighting a pack of cornerhounds that navigate exclusively by sonar

Are your sure you weren't just playing a record by the Sex Pistols? :smallconfused:

danielxcutter

2022-11-13, 11:04 PM

Yeah, mummies are weird. They're pretty much the point where CofD really went off the rails (after Changeling shifted it away from being a WoD reboot).

Not to go too far into WoD geekery, but Arisen are some kind of weird proto-Promethean proto-Mage deal. Like Sekhem is officially pre-supernal, which means that Irem might have actually existed and fallen before the Sundered World dark era, or it might have come from a history an Archmaster removed for some reason. The end result is a massive amount of raw power, but they can't just pull a new spell out of their arse.

The God-Machine's also... weird. The eldritch monstrosity being mechanical instead of even more Oh No Hentai Tentacles, for starters. I thought it was omnipotent and omniscient in practical(if not literal) terms, but apparently it's mostly a material world thing with a decent footprint in Twilight, while the Hedge, Supernal, Primal Dream and others are completely separate "spiritual" realms?

*May not change the name of the God-Machine so that it abbreviates to ST instead of GM.

Rater202

2022-11-13, 11:56 PM

*If the rest of the party's Stands are named "Ninja Sex Party," "Poison," "Sympathy For the Devil," and "Black Magic Woman," mine can't be "Khepri."

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-14, 12:24 PM

The God-Machine's also... weird. The eldritch monstrosity being mechanical instead of even more Oh No Hentai Tentacles, for starters. I thought it was omnipotent and omniscient in practical(if not literal) terms, but apparently it's mostly a material world thing with a decent footprint in Twilight, while the Hedge, Supernal, Primal Dream and others are completely separate "spiritual" realms?

CofD lore is very weird because pretty much every line is supposed to exist in a vacuum, even if that's been somewhat dropped. The God-Machine only interacts with the material world because it's only designed for gamelines that don't use Otherworlds

Honestly I like that CofD has, for the most part, stayed away from the anime tentacles. I believe they even outright tell you that the Abyss is for conceptual antagonists and not prehensile genitalia, although I don't actually own Mage 1e (only 2e).

*May not change the name of the God-Machine so that it abbreviates to ST instead of GM.

Heh. To be fair I get the feeling that the only reason 2e uses the Storyteller moniker is to avoid fan rage.

* The Abyss is not the origin of any pop stars.

danielxcutter

2022-11-14, 12:46 PM

CofD lore is very weird because pretty much every line is supposed to exist in a vacuum, even if that's been somewhat dropped. The God-Machine only interacts with the material world because it's only designed for gamelines that don't use Otherworlds

Honestly I like that CofD has, for the most part, stayed away from the anime tentacles. I believe they even outright tell you that the Abyss is for conceptual antagonists and not prehensile genitalia, although I don't actually own Mage 1e (only 2e).

The Contagion Chronicles would beg to differ! :smalltongue:

Heh. To be fair I get the feeling that the only reason 2e uses the Storyteller moniker is to avoid fan rage.

* The Abyss is not the origin of any pop stars.

**It is not the origin of student loans either.(That one's probably on the Chancellor.)

PhoenixPhyre

2022-11-14, 02:34 PM

*May not change the name of the God-Machine so that it abbreviates to ST instead of GM.

Completely independently, I developed the concept of the Great Mechanism for my (D&D) setting. It doesn't really have much of a will (instead it has directives it must follow), but it's the beating heart and nervous system of the (small) universe, pumping anima (aether) around the planes. It also sets the basic rules for things like magic--spells are effectively API calls against it. Or "allowed" external access. Conveniently (and I only realized this after the fact), the initials also spell GM (ie me).

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-14, 03:19 PM

The Contagion Chronicles would beg to differ! :smalltongue:

As I've said, it's kind of been dropped. Beast and The Contagion Chronicle are both intentionally crossover focused (I'd argue to Beast's detriment), and 2e has a few more casual crossover elements in general (Strix come from a bit of Mage cosmology). But the idea from back when nWoD was being put together was that you didn't have to use Mage mages outside of that line if you didn't want to.

Even in late 1e it wasn't being as strictly applied, I believe there was a Gangrel bloodline that only accepted Wolf Blooded. I'm sure if Paradox weren't trying to replace CofD with their WoD reboots we'd be seeing even more crossover stuff.

* May not detail a thread into a WoD discussion.

danielxcutter

2022-11-14, 06:32 PM

Beast has some… very unfortunate implications apparently. The kind that in-universe make the other splats(who aren’t necessarily saints themselves) go “okay what the heck dude”.

Rater202

2022-11-14, 07:10 PM

Beast has some… very unfortunate implications apparently. The kind that in-universe make the other splats(who aren’t necessarily saints themselves) go “okay what the heck dude”.

The playtest draft was fine, but some people took some bits out of context to make it seem like a game about glorifying abuse and blaming victims. Other people complained that Beasts didn't really have their own thing because "explore the mysteries of the setting" apparently isn't enough motivation or some people.

So in the second draft they made some changes to how Heroes work... And gAve Beasts a cultural mandate to terrorize humans "for their own good" in order to "teach them lessons." When before you were encouraged to avoid needless harm in your feedings.

In short, the response to people complaining about it being a game about abusers was to make it explicitly a game about abusers. And I don't recall a single person who was complaining about abuse the first time complaining about it the second.

And then apparently one of the writers got in trouble for... I want to say sexual harassment but don't quote me on that? Which really makes you reexamine the whole thing.

Throw in the fact that the second draft also changed the game from "you never fit in, you always felt wrong, and you never knew why, but then one day you realized that you aren't what you thought you were, you're something else, and now it's time to meet your new extended family" and turned into "a dream monster ae your soul and crawled into the empty space in your psyche where ti used to be"

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-14, 08:03 PM

Beast has some… very unfortunate implications apparently. The kind that in-universe make the other splats(who aren’t necessarily saints themselves) go “okay what the heck dude”.

Beast's corebook is basically hot garbage. Apparently the player's guide refocuses it into a much better game, but you don't get two first impressions. It's probably the only one of the gamelines that desperately needs a new edition to cut out the abuse justification, incorporate parts of the player's guide, and make it clear that Beast society is messed up. It's a shame, because the playtest draft was a potentially amazing game.

It's development was apparently really strange, with no central development diary and the team having no good way to communicate with each other. Which might have been due to the problematic elements were intentional, I'm a bit unclear on that. You can see the massive course correction happening by Tooth and Nail a year later, but that was partially just admitting that yes Beasts are abusers.

EDIT: I'll also point work out that Beast works a lot better if you remove the justifications in it. It goes from a game about abusers covering for that fact to a game where you play villains who's eventually defeat or victory is supposed to mean something, to teach the next generation. A big part of the issue is that some developers ran with the idea of Beasts as villains, while others tried to make them more heroic

danielxcutter

2022-11-14, 08:04 PM

I did hear something about someone on the dev team leaving or getting kicked out yeah.

Lord Raziere

2022-11-14, 09:10 PM

Eh, Beast was never all that appealing to me anyways because even before it changed, you were still this human just having the ability to be this other thing for a bit, but never anything permanent, and yeah I know supernatural is supposed to be secret but y'know, they could've actually made you turn into a monster and have some human disguise rather than be this human with strange soul-happenings.
honestly the whole execution of Beast the Primordial was botched one way or another and is one of the biggest examples of the WoD Auteur rpg Risk: its either going to be incredibly good or very bad and beast landed hard on the bad side of that coinflip.

* May not derail the thread with CofD talk

* May not be on an elf kick and try to mix together Wh40k Eldar, Tairnadal/Aerenal elves from Eberron, Blood Elves and Nightborne from WoW.
** decadent, death-focused warrior culture elves with an addiction to magic are not better than preachy life-focused nature elves
*** But they are admittedly cooler.

Rater202

2022-11-14, 09:19 PM

Eh, Beast was never all that appealing to me anyways because even before it changed, you were still this human just having the ability to be this other thing for a bit, but never anything permanentFully transforming into your true self is an endgoal... Though the only way to do it that doens't kind of suck is really, really hard.

Unless a later book added more ways to do it.

danielxcutter

2022-11-14, 09:20 PM

It’s still less suffering than being a Deviant though.

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-15, 04:06 AM

Eh, Beast was never all that appealing to me anyways because even before it changed, you were still this human just having the ability to be this other thing for a bit, but never anything permanent, and yeah I know supernatural is supposed to be secret but y'know, they could've actually made you turn into a monster and have some human disguise rather than be this human with strange soul-happenings.

A) a lot of that is to do with playability, alongside Beasts being quite rare. If your disguise fails in some way you become able to interact with humans, and likely even some supernaturals, and this removes the threat of Hunters finding some ways to make it drop.

Plus making the PCs have a human disguise makes the fact that the game is partially retreading Changeling themes. I mean it's retreading a lot from multiple games, but Changeling also focused on folklore with PCs who only seem human. Except this time you are the Keeper!

It’s still less suffering than being a Deviant though.

Rider... Angst!
Rider... Snap!
Kamen Rider
Kamen Rider
Rider
Rider!

danielxcutter

2022-11-15, 04:40 AM

Uuuhhhhhh what?

DCraw

2022-11-15, 05:12 AM

*When asked what my character's goal is, "Deicide" is not an acceptable answer.
** No, "Genocide" is not better.
***Nor is "Xenocide"
**** What the heck is "Phenocide"? ... Don't answer that ...
***** All *cides are banned.
****** Ok, I'll make an exception for homicide, patricide, and fratricide, but only where narratively relevant. Or funny.

[edit]: forgot xenocide

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-15, 05:41 AM

Uuuhhhhhh what?

The premise of Deviant is very similar to the standard template for a Showa-era Kamen Rider show. Just with a greater tendency to go full Tetsuto.

danielxcutter

2022-11-15, 05:49 AM

I mean seriously, Deviants are more unstable than the guys who had their souls replaced by literal nightmares. I think only Prometheans have it as bad.

KorvinStarmast

2022-11-15, 09:10 AM

dspeyer

2022-11-17, 03:38 AM

*When asked what my character's goal is, "Deicide" is not an acceptable answer.

> My goal is to kill all the gods

> And replace them with something better, right?

> ...

> And replace them with something better, RIGHT?

* This is a Things I May Not Do thread, not a meme thread

Lord Raziere

2022-11-19, 08:39 AM

* Abyssal Exalted are not "walking darwin award givers"
** May not patiently wait for people to do something stupid in my presence then kill them
*** may not look down on murderhobos as "unchivalrous slaughterers with no grasp of the proper art of killing"
**** The Abyssal Exalted solution to the trolley problem is not "let the train run over the five people, then go to the one still alive and give a speech about how death will come for them to someday."
***** May not ask "to the death?" in response to every challenge to a duel I get.

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-19, 03:08 PM

* My character concept is supposed to be more developed than 'kung Fu nun'.

Metastachydium

2022-11-19, 05:18 PM

***** May not ask "to the death?" in response to every challenge to a duel I get.

…but that's mainly because the answer "no, to the pain" will get tired fast.

Rater202

2022-11-20, 09:13 PM

My origin story can't be "human injected with Godzilla DNA."

danielxcutter

2022-11-20, 09:16 PM

Counterpoint: there are probably at least half a dozen systems where that actually makes sense.

Lord Raziere

2022-11-20, 09:17 PM

My origin story can't be "human injected with Godzilla DNA."

* Or "transgender girl intentionally activated a weapon to turn herself into a female mini-gamera person"
** she may not be called "Glamera"
*** Her turtle form may not as a consequence be a glamorous purple-pink-blue thing full of pretty crystals
**** nor may she be a Transformed in a Masks the Generation game who doesn't regret her transformation.

danielxcutter

2022-11-20, 09:22 PM

Is this a specific reference, and if so context plz :p

Lord Raziere

2022-11-20, 09:45 PM

Is this a specific reference, and if so context plz :p

Gamera is a japanese kaiju, of a similar popularity and status as godzilla at least in Japan, but is a turtle, good-hearted and friend to all children unlike godzilla who is more anti-heroic and fire plasma breath from his mouth.

danielxcutter

2022-11-20, 09:57 PM

Gamera is a japanese kaiju, of a similar popularity and status as godzilla at least in Japan, but is a turtle, good-hearted and friend to all children unlike godzilla who is more anti-heroic and fire plasma breath from his mouth.

I meant the other stuff like the trans girl with crystals.

Lord Raziere

2022-11-20, 10:24 PM

I meant the other stuff like the trans girl with crystals.

Oh that isn't a reference, thats just my character for a Masks game. at first I was aiming for a mothra-like form but a name generator gave me "Glamera" and just had to use it.

* May not make a Sidereal Chosen of Secrets who just goes around acting like a mysterious mentor to everybody with cryptic advice hinting at greater destinies for them without any intention of following through
** My Chosen of Journeys may not have a flaw that gives them a bad sense of direction on the level of Ryoga Hibiki or Zorro.
*** my Chosen of Battles may not insist on people solving things with duels
**** my Chosen of Serenity may not be romance fan fic writer that can be make her pairings true
***** My chosen of Secrets may not accidentally reveal secrets to people because she is a blabbermouth or reveal that the Exalted 3e Sidereals kickstarter comes out on the 22nd
****** There is always an ending sure, but my Chosen of Endings may not state it at the end of every meal or every step.

Telok

2022-11-21, 02:11 AM

My origin story can't be "human injected with Godzilla DNA."

Seems fine to me... having a problem thinking of games (with the appropriate kaiju being potentially present) where it would be inappropriate... and I just though of one but it's a Pride & Prejudice knockoff so... nope, that one's good to go, you're just a delusional weirdo.

Game on!

Thread tax:
May not blackmail the DM into playing a legitimate decent caring hero in the next game I run by pumping all my magic-user character's gold into upgrades for the fighter, keeping my casting to the less powerful spells, and not over optimizing the common fighter skill checks on my spellcaster so they actually work more than half the time like they do for the fighter.

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-21, 02:49 AM

Seems fine to me... having a problem thinking of games (with the appropriate kaiju being potentially present) where it would be inappropriate... and I just though of one but it's a Pride & Prejudice knockoff so... nope, that one's good to go, you're just a delusional weirdo.

Hunter: the Vigil springs to mind (even the Cheiron Group will just try grafting the bits on). Also probably some of the lower magic lower tech fantasy games, I'd need to double check their bestiaries and I left them at home.

But any game intended for superheroic or mythic power levels can probably handle it. Even some lower powered games wouldn't blink an eye at it, I can certainly imagine the less ethical portions of the Technocracy and SoE performing such experiments. It really depends on how much of the powers you want, and if you want an actual Kaiju form.

danielxcutter

2022-11-21, 03:01 AM

Looks like I wasn't the only one thinking of the 'Crats, heh. Given that some examples I've seen of their combat constructs are stuff like clones of historical legends like the Paris one with Legendary Firearms, or the Achilles clone with Legendary for all his physical stats, a bunch of linear sorcerer rotes which jack up his combat capabilities even further, and enhancements that run the gamut from "I am the reincarnation of a demigod" to "I am a cutting-edge Technocratic WMD" to "I have werewolf or other supernatural grafts" to "Fite Gud" and an entire Construct dedicated to supporting him, or the clone of one of the Inner Circle members who uses her vampire-derived biology as enhancements, part of her paradigm, and Blatancy.

Actually I can see stuff like that be justification for a Deviant in the nWoD, both the Godzilla stuff and the TU-esque combat construct things. Heck, they even share the word Progenitor, and a lot of oWoD Progenitors probably act like nWoD Progenitors.

Telok

2022-11-21, 12:21 PM

. Also probably some of the lower magic lower tech fantasy games, I'd need to double check their bestiaries and I left them at home.

But any game intended for superheroic or mythic power levels can probably handle it. Even some lower powered games wouldn't blink an eye at it,

Honestly, once you're at "delusional weirdo thinks he's a Frankenstein's monster knockoff created with the vital essence of a giant fire breathing lizard" you can do it in basically any decently half functional rpg. The game managing to fit big G style kaiju in is just bonus points after that.

Bohandas

2022-11-23, 02:54 AM

*The setting of Exalted is not to be described as "Weeaboo Rome"

Lord Raziere

2022-11-23, 03:59 AM

Exalted:
* May not refer to Yu-shan as "Los Angeles"
** the Division of Endings while having a bunch of weird nerdy obsessions do not play Warhammer 40,000 with jade miniatures
*** while they do play cards, they do not play magic the gathering, yu-gi-oh or pokemon tcg
**** despite appearances across three editions, ambrosia are not chocolate coins
***** Yu-shan work culture may not be described as "a bunch of gods and sidereals with bloodshot eyes holding a gun to the concept of work and threatening to shoot it any time while they party, do drugs, debate and do whatever they can to relax"
****** Abyssals, Getimians, Infernals, all enemies of the Sidereals are some of the few people who can remember them but this does not automatically make them romance material
******* yes Yu-shan has a train to transport people now. yes there are robberies on that train. still may not make a Sidereal cowgirl with flame pieces who rides it hoping they get to fight them, or a Getimian cowgirl who intends to pull off a great ambrosia robbery from it.
******** May not make a mortal who lives in Heaven whose entire thing is to realize there are 100 Exalted humans who get to live wealthy lives while all the others humans in Yu-shan have to eke out a living wherever they can....repeatedly, every time they remember Sidereals exist filling them with the same rage all over again before they inevitably forget.

Anonymouswizard

2022-11-24, 11:30 AM

* The Games of Divinity do not feature loot boxes.

Bohandas

2022-11-24, 12:17 PM

*Deep Thought from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy did not simply leave off a zero

danielxcutter

2022-11-24, 06:44 PM

* The Games of Divinity do not feature loot boxes.

Well that might explain why the Unconquered Tsun Sun is so addicted to it... it's literally divine gacha.

Bohandas

2022-11-25, 03:26 AM

*The sonic screwdriver is not to be referred to as a "sufficiently-advanced wand"

Spore

2022-11-25, 06:13 AM

*The setting of Exalted is not to be described as "Weeaboo Rome"

Why would you say something so controversial, yet so true?

* D&D despite often played on top of a table does NOT carry the spirit of tabletop wargames.
** I am not to plan to ambush my future party with 80% lethal battle plans and saying "this is what duergar would do."
*** Their racial spells are invisibility and enlarge person, but having them clobber the party with 6 foot long "shortswords" for sneak attacks is more akin to a bloody massacre than a subtle ambush.
**** If they SOMEHOW survive, I am NOT having a draconic sorcerer casting Fireball and several salamander attack them directly after that to "teach them about elemental resistances".
***** This is a roleplaying game, not a roguelike. Even if you thought "roguelike" stems from the inherent property of rogues dying very quickly from stupid actions.

danielxcutter

2022-11-25, 06:28 AM

*While memes about Hollow Ones being edgy goths are funny, this is only the case the first hundred times.
**No, I am not allowed to actually play an edgy goth Hollow One.

Lord Raziere

2022-11-26, 06:43 AM

* Emphatic Denial: Alchemical Exalted speaking like HK-47 is not a sign that they've succumbed to Gremlin Syndrome
** Reasonable Admission: Alchemicals referring to mortals as "meatbag" however may be.
*** Extrapolation: One can even make the argument that an Alchemical speaking like this is a sign of heightening Clarity due to human warmth being replaced with efficient labels for emotional states instead of expressing them

* The Games of Divinity's gacha is not a bunch of Exalts
** Dragon-Blooded are not the common gacha
*** Exigents are not the uncommons
**** Lunars aren't the rares
***** Solars aren't the super rares
****** Sidereals are not the Ultra Rares
******* Lytek is not the person who makes these Exalted gacha and he is not busy making Liminal, Getimian, Abyssal and Infernal ones

* Getimians are not the only ones who can see or know the Dream-Souled, Hearteaters or Umbrals
** Just because they're Apocryphal doesn't mean the Getimians know what they are
*** Or that Getimians come from people who would otherwise Exalt as those Exalted types
**** Apocryphal Exalts do not have something similar to arcane fate upon them like Sidereals making sure they don't have an impact on the setting because everyone forgets them

* Chosen of Journeys are not banana flavored
** Serenities are not blueberry flavored
*** Battles are not strawberry flavored
**** Secrets are not green apple flavored
***** Endings are not grape flavored
****** There is no such thing as Sidereal Soda in Yu-shan.

Rockphed

2022-11-26, 10:55 AM

****** There is no such thing as Sidereal Soda in Yu-shan.

******* You cannot create it as an extra trap for young Sidereals to waste their salaries upon.

* While holidays should be fun, I should use someone other than my drunk uncle Phil as a basis for what to do on them.
** Yes, sometimes holidays involve bringing outside things inside, but I cannot have a Pelor-day compost pile in the kitchen.
*** Yes, sometimes holidays take inside things outside, but I cannot have Vecna-day involve stringing plates from the exterior of everyone's homes.
**** Thorsday Thursday does not involve giant bunnies eating trees.

noob

2022-11-26, 02:46 PM

******* You cannot create it as an extra trap for young Sidereals to waste their salaries upon.
Is it a trap if the soda tastes good?

Rater202

2022-11-28, 08:41 PM

*If I am not a Noise Marine, I am not allowed to have a Dubstep Gun.

TeChameleon

2022-11-30, 01:28 AM

* If we treat an encounter as a minor nuisance and chat about our strategy for a while, the DM is fully within their rights to just have them shoot us.
** The fact that this accomplished nothing doesn't prove anything.

* The correct response to "Surrender and your life will be spared" is shooting them in the face, but gloating about it is considered poor form.

* Not allowed to speculate as to exactly what was going through the enemy mook's mind when my monk casually backhanded fully half the encounter out of existence, flew over to him, and whiffed so hard that my monk broke his own arm. And then kicked him so hard in the chest that the mook's lungs were ejected over the side of the airship. (critical fail and critical success on subsequent attacks)
** Not out loud, anyways.

* If our slightly sociopathic rogue comments that he feels sorry for the attacking pirates because they got my monk's attention, my monk may be a bit on the violent side.

* Not allowed to complain when my character requests maps as a quest reward (backstory reasons) and is given an overpowered magic item instead.

Bohandas

2022-12-02, 02:22 PM

*The lyrics to the song Santa Claus Is Coming to Town do not contain the line "his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh"
**nor does it have any lyrics in common with the song Electric Eye by Judas Priest

*The Kingdom of Make-Believe from Mr.Rogers' Neighborhood was not destroyed by the band Imagine Dragons

Spore

2022-12-03, 02:08 PM

TeChameleon

2022-12-03, 08:54 PM

dspeyer

2022-12-04, 12:53 AM

From today's session:

* When my DM says "If you drive me to drink before one die is rolled..." and trails off, my response should not be to rapidly open my dice-bag and roll the first one I grab.

Hmm... "I may not drive my DM to drink" is a possible thread title, but I think I like "The DM is not your Therapist" better

Rockphed

2022-12-04, 12:51 PM

* The compliment "you have the soul of a poet" should not involve the spell Magic Jar

* Calling yourself a Warrior Poet is not an excuse to stab people who give your poems bad reviews
** If you insist on reciting awful poetry in-character as a bard, people stabbing you will be the bad reviews

* The Bard school equivalent to Hogwarts is not called Porksyphilis

And it's looking like it's coming up on time to name the next thread! Only suggestion I've got off the top of my head, though, is

"The DM is not your Therapist"

I have a friend from high school whose husband just got his degree in therapy. He uses D&D in his therapy sessions. I do not know details.

I think "Straitjacket Not Included" is a viable thread title.
"Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XIV: Tell Me More About Giant Bunnies"
"Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XIV: Invasion of Captain Literally"
"Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XIV: Quenching the Fire Eternal"

I think all of those will meet the board requirements for title length without issue. I know that the current thread's title is exactly the correct number of characters to fit (and 4 characters too long to show up properly in each reply). Looks like 81 characters is the max.

* Snails make poor mounts.
* Even if I hand-wave the metabolic and physical requirements for a 3-ton flying squirrel to work, they still make bad mounts.
** Making it half dragon does not make it better.

Bohandas

2022-12-04, 02:39 PM

*May not suggest that the Scarecrow from Wizard of Ozwoukd be completely invincibke if he was stuffed with asbestos

Telok

2022-12-04, 06:35 PM

*May not suggest that the Scarecrow from Wizard of Ozwoukd be completely invincibke if he was stuffed with asbestos

* No more "everyone else in the party save vs cancer" PCs was mentioned years ago.

** Still not allowed plutonium dragons in my world building.
*** The uranium dragon is just as bad.
**** Time elementals are right out because nobody likes "save vs turning into disassociated gametes" on every hit.

Reltzik

2022-12-05, 12:58 AM

* I do not gain Cold Resistance just because I'm a Thawmaturge.
** -100 XP for intentionally misspelling that on my character sheet.

Rockphed

2022-12-05, 06:51 AM

* I do not gain Cold Resistance just because I'm a Thawmaturge.
** -100 XP for intentionally misspelling that on my character sheet.

*** I am not allowed to take a level in Thaumaturge using an elementalist class specializing in fire and a cleric of the god of cold/winter.
**** Specializing in cold and worshiping fire is also forbidden.
***** If my peak powers are best described as "summon glacier" and "cause global warming", I will get a book to the face.
****** "Summon Sea Level Rise" and "Punch hole in the ozone layer" just make me sound like a Captain Planet villain.

danielxcutter

2022-12-05, 07:01 AM

*** I am not allowed to take a level in Thaumaturge using an elementalist class specializing in fire and a cleric of the god of cold/winter.
**** Specializing in cold and worshiping fire is also forbidden.
***** If my peak powers are best described as "summon glacier" and "cause global warming", I will get a book to the face.
****** "Summon Sea Level Rise" and "Punch hole in the ozone layer" just make me sound like a Captain Planet villain.

So, Pentex employee.

DCraw

2022-12-07, 02:37 AM

* No matter how cathartic it may be to run, "Red Shirts and Brown Pants: a day in the life of a town guard" is not an acceptable theme for a campaign.

Bohandas

2022-12-07, 02:47 AM

***** If my peak powers are best described as "summon glacier" and "cause global warming", I will get a book to the face.

IIRC there's literally a cause global warming spell in D&D 3.5. It's from Sandstorm I think.

dspeyer

2022-12-07, 03:18 AM

* No matter how cathartic it may be to run, "Red Shirts and Brown Pants: a day in the life of a town guard" is not an acceptable theme for a campaign.

** I should not select a system based on how quickly new characters can be rolled up even if "quickly" is how my players will go through them.
*** This is not how Kobolds Ate My Baby got written

danielxcutter

2022-12-07, 03:49 AM

IIRC there's literally a cause global warming spell in D&D 3.5. It's from Sandstorm I think.

One of the Epic Spells, the direct opposite of the Ice Age spell IIRC.

It's not exactly practical.

Bohandas

2022-12-07, 04:02 AM

*there's more to being a wind mage than just eating beans

Spore

2022-12-07, 06:01 AM

*there's more to being a wind mage than just eating beans

There is some build idea brewing in my head surrounding the idea of "Control Winds", "Fog Cloud", "Obscuring Mist", "Cloudkill" and "Stinking Cloud tho.

*I may not class their class an olfactor.
** If I spam the last page of an old thread with a bad fart pun I am to summon the wise men to name the new thread.

danielxcutter

2022-12-07, 06:49 AM

I suspect more than the last two together would be redundant though. Also we're on the last page so new thread needed SoonTM.

KorvinStarmast

2022-12-07, 11:28 AM

* May no longer break up a riot (dozens of angry townsfolk in the worst part of town wielding bricks, stones, pitch forks and torches) using the gust of wind spell as a fire hose.
(Yes, it worked)

Bohandas

2022-12-09, 11:48 PM

*If I'm starting to see things Friend Computer's way in real life, I may need some rest

Pauly

2022-12-10, 01:17 AM

*there's more to being a wind mage than just eating beans

* There’s more to being a Wind Bard than singing “beans, beans the magical fruit …”

TeChameleon

2022-12-11, 07:08 PM

* Being able to defeat a Zone of Truth through sheer social awkwardness is not a positive thing when we're in a (relatively) friendly capital under suspicion of mass murder.
** Pointing out that I can kick an armoured man's lungs out through his back does not do anything to diffuse the tension, no.
*** Getting frustrated and even more awkward doesn't really help matters either.
**** Apparently pointing out that I (in character, obviously) neither know nor care what kingdom/duchy/whatever we're in, which makes plotting harm against it impractical at best, is also not the right answer.

Telok

2022-12-11, 07:48 PM

* Not allowed to muderize, derail, torture, maim, terrify, and arson my way through a campaign to reinforce my "this character is not a bard, the class combo was chosen because it mechanically matches the character better than anything else" speech & 5 sentence backstory that I gave to the GM.

** Not allowed to shortcut major parts of the adventure by skinning "friendly" npcs alive for information.

*** Still not ok even if I didn't know they were a plot relevant npc.

**** I should tone down my reaction to GMs who are so overwhelmed by unintuitive mechanics & official adventure crap organization, that they keep defaulting to "class = personality" and can't remember basic character info like "not a bard" for ten minutes even after I've said it four times.

***** May not add another notch to my clipboard for accidentally crushing a new GM with logical ration merciless amoral efficent in-character actions backed up by the character's backstory, personality game mechanics, and alignment.

Bohandas

2022-12-19, 03:43 PM

*May not point out that under the Dark Powers Check rules all of a villains' minions in the ravenloft setting should quickly become independent demilords and that for this reason every villain's plans and operations should quickly fall apart like a ponzi shene

*May not point out that the rules for roleplaying fear to avoid fear checks in Ravenloft creates an incentive for every character to be roleplayed as Courage The Cowardly Dog

EDIT:

*Fenphen is a recalled drug, not a pokemon

EDIT:

*Santa Claus was not on the HUAC

Anonymouswizard

2022-12-28, 05:50 AM

* My superhero robot Autocop cannot be Three Laws Compliant.

Yes, that actually got banned. In practice I ended up First Law Compliant, but that was mostly due to one player insisting their concept* shouldn't be restricted by PL caps so I could barely damage anything. Autocop spent most of their time putting fences back together at super speed (I'd accidentally bought enough ranks to outrun a train, so I bought more).

Autocop was fun actually, I might bring them back in a future game. They made a habit of posting villains' secret identities to forums in order to gather information, had a retractable siren and helicopter blades, and could deactivate their arms for MOAR SPEED (GM-okayed alternate effect on my Strength's inbuilt Damage power).

* Which was basically Deku from MHA, who is totally PL10.

danielxcutter

2022-12-28, 05:52 AM

While that sounds genuinely fun, how do you accidentally buy enough ranks to outrun a train?

Anonymouswizard

2022-12-28, 06:39 AM

While that sounds genuinely fun, how do you accidentally buy enough ranks to outrun a train?

A mixture of forgetting standard train speeds and adding a step or two when converting from metres/second to metres/round. When you literally don't deal with vehicles beyond being a passenger speeds of this level feel a tad abstract.

Rockphed

2022-12-28, 09:13 PM

A mixture of forgetting standard train speeds and adding a step or two when converting from metres/second to metres/round. When you literally don't deal with vehicles beyond being a passenger speeds of this level feel a tad abstract.

There is a high speed train that goes 3 miles per hour. Okay, so it is carting 200 ton radio dishes around a dried up lake bed and it might count as as axillary vehicle more than a train, but it does run on high speed track.

Anonymouswizard

2022-12-29, 06:48 AM

There is a high speed train that goes 3 miles per hour.

I'm not talking about American trains :smalltongue:

But yeah, I was looking to outrun a speeding car, and bought a rank higher than needed. Which let me outrun the Eurostar, so I just bought more and became the team speedster.

Rater202

2022-12-29, 11:27 AM

I cannot play as a character who accidentally becomes a god.

danielxcutter

2022-12-29, 11:32 AM

Okay but in Pathfinder there's literally precedent.

Anonymouswizard

2022-12-29, 01:05 PM

I cannot play as a character who accidentally becomes a god.

I mean, in most games I own where you become a god you tend not to do it on purpose :smallwink:

Although admittedly it's because those games are Nobilis and Scion, where divinity requires you to either be born into it, have a sponsor, or both. I actually really like that in Scion 2e normal people can start on the road to godhood, but it's a kind of ****ty deal until you begin internalising power as the person providing the divinity can just decide to take it all back if you don't play along.

Then you've got games where the definition of 'godhood' is murky. Supers systems are great for this, as getting powers by accident is a standard trope and every setting has a different definition of godhood. Aberrant springs to mind, as at least one NPC is pretty much officially confirmed to eventually make their own universe and there's no indication that you get a choice as to what powers you develop. It's possible, but unlikely, to be a Dark Star Nova until you suddenly develop Universe Creation.

Rater202

2022-12-29, 01:16 PM

I mean, in most games I own where you become a god you tend not to do it on purpose :smallwink:

An actual character I'm playing as is pursuing a path to power that will culminate in apotheosis by the standards of the setting.

She does not know this, actively denies the existence of some of the abilities she's set to develop and is in fact an atheist.

I find the irony to be amusing.

Anonymouswizard

2022-12-29, 08:17 PM

An actual character I'm playing as is pursuing a path to power that will culminate in apotheosis by the standards of the setting.

She does not know this, actively denies the existence of some of the abilities she's set to develop and is in fact an atheist.

I find the irony to be amusing.

Eh, it's maybe a tad unusual, but 'ascend by accident' really isn't that uncommon (it's probably the most common way Archetypes are created in UA, for example). Doing so while being an atheist or misotheist is rarer, but give me a day and Google and I could probably pull out multiple examples.

Like settings where you can't unintentionally hit godhood are pretty rare, Mage the Awakening springs to mind but you can argue over where godhood begins in that game (practically everybody hits their first Awakening by accident, but achieving a second one has to be intentional). It's best to sit back, magic up a top hat, and enjoy your apotheosis in style.

* My Deviant's backstory cannot be 'spent six years as the research material for Thaumatechnology'.
** Even if it's probably how The Cheiron Group makes most of theirs.

Lord Raziere

2022-12-29, 09:25 PM

Yeah, its the people who intentionally seek godhood that are the ones that tend to fail. Or at least, achieve for about a minute before they somehow get defeated by some determined heroes who don't have divine power anyways. Accidental godhoods on the other hand are a surprise and thus generally go to people who work on the "I never desired power thus I end up getting the most" twist ending form of irony and thus tend to stick.

* May not be a determined hero who says "well clearly I defeated god with just my determination and skill, so clearly I'm more powerful than god and thus omnipotence already"
** May not then do stuff like forcefully make my love interest come back to life with pure determination thus breaking all aesops about death and moving on since I'm more powerful than omnipotence
*** May not respond to protests about how this makes no sense with "I killed god, which is powerful than sense, therefore I'm more powerful than things making sense, therefore I don't need to make any"
**** May not make all the megalomaniacal villains seeking godhood cry by pointing out all their convoluted efforts were pointless and useless compared to me just leveling up a lot and that they could've gotten my power just by grinding some monsters over and over again.

Rater202

2022-12-31, 06:35 PM

In a dragon ball themed game, I can't introduce a family of Majins named Yoomoh, Goowayguy, Fighdy, and Zhouw.

Lord Raziere

2022-12-31, 08:25 PM

In a dragon ball themed game, I can't introduce a family of Majins named Yoomoh, Goowayguy, Fighdy, and Zhouw.

** Or Azeriath, Metrione and Zinthos.
*** or Please, Thank and Yu
**** or Fuego, Forzare, Fliccum and Biccus
***** or Expelliarmus, Cruciatus, Avada, Wingardium, Sectum, Kedavra, Patronus, Leviosa and Sempra, etc
****** or Kagebunshinnojutsu, Rasengan and Chidori
******* or Flare, Ultima, Photon, and Curaga

Bohandas

2022-12-31, 09:21 PM

* May not be a determined hero who says "well clearly I defeated god with just my determination and skill, so clearly I'm more powerful than god and thus omnipotence already"
** May not then do stuff like forcefully make my love interest come back to life with pure determination thus breaking all aesops about death and moving on since I'm more powerful than omnipotence
*** May not respond to protests about how this makes no sense with "I killed god, which is powerful than sense, therefore I'm more powerful than things making sense, therefore I don't need to make any"
**** May not make all the megalomaniacal villains seeking godhood cry by pointing out all their convoluted efforts were pointless and useless compared to me just leveling up a lot and that they could've gotten my power just by grinding some monsters over and over again.

Isn't that basically Journey to the West?

edit:
Except the second one, that's the end of the Hellboy movie