Most Satisfying 1st Combat with a Character

[Olo Demonsbane]

What character have you spent a long time making, either learning new rules, optimizing the heck out of it, making a 3 page long backstory, or whatever, and then, when it was time for his/her first combat...the character was more awesome than you ever could have dreamed? (Wow, run on sentance, much?)

I just got the Ebberon campaign setting and read the whole thing. Thinking to test it out, I made a 1st level artificer and set out to do the sample mission. By myself.

I saw a dead body on the road, ran up to it, and grabbed the sachel. Suddenly a sound. *natural 20 on listen check* "Five Nations, an angry looking axe-wielding Warforged!"

I enchant my Light crossbow with the Bane (living constructs) ability. She goes first, charging, screaming, and having her blow deflected off my shield. It overbalanced me though, and my bolt went flying off into the distance *natural 1*. I retreated backwards.

Snarling, she came forward, swinging her axe and yelling "Give me the sachel!" I bent down, aimed my crossbow, and asked, "Didn't your mother tell you to use your words?" *natural 20 with a +1 bane Light crossbow*

Fricken awesome.


Allright, now you share your stories.

[Dhavaer]

My very first character was an elf Rogue in a gladiator game. The party entered the arena opposite a group of orcs, about 100 feet away. She won initiative, I think, hit an orc and rolled maximum damage with her shortbow. One orc down, first turn. Very happy.

[Deme]

I don't have a most satisfying "first combat" with a character yet, but I do have a most satisfying second combat with a character, a (4th ed) stormsoul genasi swordmage. I wasn't really expecting much from him, to be honest: not in terms of combat ability, but just in general -- he was sort of a comedy relief character, for all his fancy abilities. First combat was some basic kobold minions, no one really shone there...

but second combat, well... it was kobolds (this was level 1). I decided to get extravagant. Marked a guy near our ranger, ran off, spent an action point to activate "promise of the storm," hit a guy with booming blade. the guy hits me with a melee attack, I counter with frost backlash (I said I was feeling extravagant) and the guy tries to shift and run away, when the second part of booming blade hits him. He's down. Ranger took no damage that round, either (this is less relevant to the tactics, but it did start off a romantic subplot involving the pair)


I've never been a tactical player up until this point, so the feeling of a succesful "combo of one-shot" was something entirely new and exciting. This campaign is still going on, which is a rare enough thing for my group, and he's turned out to be a very satisfying character to play.

[Olo Demonsbane]

I just finished that mission. Last battle, last round, enemy running off, swearing he will get my little dog and whatnot.

*natural 20 with +1 Bane weapon*

[Sinfire Titan]

It wasn't a first combat, but a Last Combat.

Read about it here.


Disclaimer: A lot of errors were made, as this was when I wasn't familiar with Incarnum. The Potion of Persistent Wraithstrike thing, however, is the DM's fault (between that and Dust of Choking and Sneezing, which would you rather allow?).

[Starscream]

Believe it or not, it was a Monk. Maybe it's because I rolled pretty well on my stats. Or maybe it was because I was a late addition to the party and the DM wasn't prepared for a monk (which seems like not being prepared to face a stiff breeze).

But the setup was that the party would stop by a festival in town, where they would meet me. There were all sorts of contests for the PCs to get involved in. An archery contest for the Ranger, jousting for the Paladin etc. A fun way to win some money with nobody in danger of dying.

Because I had decided to be a Monk, the DM ruled that there was an unarmed combat match in progress. He would pit me against one of his old characters, and the others in the party would observe the match. This was much to the amusement of the others, as they knew and I didn't that the character in question was a werewolf, and way more powerful than me.

The idea was that I would get trounced, lose most of my money because I had bet on myself, and the party would offer me a spot on their team so I would have a chance to regain my funds and honor.

But due to pure dumb luck, I managed to pound him repeatedly with Stunning Fist and he kept failing his saves. This means he was unable to transform, and got no DR or bite or claw attacks. He finally got to spend two rounds as a Hybrid and began to beat the living crap out of me (doing enough damage per round that I knew I wouldn't have had a shot had he been able to transform at the beginning), but by then he was already down to just a few HP and was defeated.

So instead of starting my character poor and bloodied and being offered a chance to join the team out of sympathy, I began very rich and got to join because they were so impressed.

They made sure to roleplay it, too. Apparently they hadn't liked that character very much when the DM played him, and seeing him defeated by pure dumb luck was fun to rub in.

[Eldariel]

Well, not quite the first, but close enough (one of the first, on the first level) - mine would probably have to be the low-magic world fight with a Dire Wolf (party started at level 3). I'm playing a Sublime Way Ranger, the secondary frontliner of the party. It had just knocked the party Fighter down and was ready to eat him for breakfast.

My turn: Strike it in a state akin to a battle frenzy (Rabid Wolf Strike) with full Power Attack and score a friggin' critical (we play with the Wound Point system so Critical means straight Wound Point damage - it would've been equivalent of about 40 points of damage traditionally). The results? One dead Dire Wolf, one grateful Fighter and a bunch of really impressed players! So yeah, I one-shot a high HP monster on level 3 without as much as a charge! That was pretty satisfying.

[Isak]

The only game I've played recently; my Brother (As DM) set up a campaign for a few friends and I.

I had made a Warblade, starting out at level 1. Little above average stats, nothing fancy.

The group and I (A cleric, I think; a barbarian, and myself) were going through some abandoned mines when we were ambushed by a group of rogues we've been encountering members of.

First round of combat, I rush in towards the leader of the group, a sorcerer, and swing with my Greatsword. I ended up getting a natural 20. Swinging with 4d6+12x2 on a level 2 sorcerer is just painful, then going on to taking out it's bodyguards within a few rounds

[yilduz]

The only game I've played recently; my Brother (As DM) set up a campaign for a few friends and I.

I had made a Warblade, starting out at level 1. Little above average stats, nothing fancy.

The group and I (A cleric, I think; a barbarian, and myself) were going through some abandoned mines when we were ambushed by a group of rogues we've been encountering members of.

First round of combat, I rush in towards the leader of the group, a sorcerer, and swing with my Greatsword. I ended up getting a natural 20. Swinging with 4d6+12x2 on a level 2 sorcerer is just painful, then going on to taking out it's bodyguards within a few rounds

How did you manage 4d6+12x2?

[DragoonWraith]

First combat, on my first character, I'm rather pleased with. He's a lying thieving bastard of a sorcerer, and our group is half CN and half NE (no one is actually CE, much to everyone's relief). The Rogue had been told to go to a brothel to acquire masterwork theives' tools, but the group had been chased out by a Half-Orc Paladin (we think? no idea why she was a regular in the brothel) after the Halfling Fighter had attempted to steal a man's coin-purse and failed spectacularly, and the Halfling and Rogue killed two guards. I wasn't in the game at that point, but I was when they went back. I was to go into the brothel to get the thieves' tools, and then try to lead the Half-Orc into an ambush.

Well, I get there and order the "special" that's supposed to get us the tools, when someone screams bloody murder (literally), and the Half-Orc charges to the back room. I follow her, convincing her that I "had her back", and then in a moment of confusion between the back door guard and the Half-Orc, I cast Grease on them both. The Half-Orc, mid-charge, loses her balance and crashes into the guard, and both of them land in a heap - with the Rogue and Halfling on either side of them. As they eviscerate the two (and the Drow archer nails the Half-Orc with a poisoned arrow to knock her out before she even swings her sword.

Meanwhile, I convince the two front door guards, who still think I'm on their side, that we need one of them (but only one of them) as back-up, so he goes and I Ray of Enfeeble him in the back, for the full 6 on the 1d6 - as a result, his attack on the Halfling Fighter hits but does no damage, while the said Fighter's AoO breaks his jaw.

I then convince one of the customers, who is arguing with the guard, to help us defend the place, and he and I walk over to the closet where our weapons had been confiscated. Before he retrieves his weapon, though, our Druid's wolf and the Drow are at the front door, attacking the customer, while the Fighter and Halfling take on the lone guard. That fight doesn't last long.

We then venture downstairs, and encounter the Mistress of the brothel, who commands an Ogre servant to attack us (and he succeeds in walking over my Grease to start Grappling the Halfling). So I Charm the Mistress, have her order the Ogre to release the Halfling and allow us to chain him up (though we never did find out if he was going to obey that last order, since the Drow nailed him with another poisoned arrow after he released the Halfling). I'm now getting a ton of information out of her (much to the DM's frustration: "It would have taken a half-elf bard with maxed diplomacy to get her to talk without magic"), and I'm generally thrilled with the outcome of this fight.

[Olo Demonsbane]

How did you manage 4d6+12x2?

18 Strength, Power Attack, Leap Attack...Burning Blade for minumum damage?

Its certainly possible.

EDIT: Dragoonwraith, that is amazing. Well played.

[Zen Master]

My first roleplaying character was a human warrior (the game was Drager og Demoner, local stuff, you wouldn't know unless you're scandinavian).

Since the rest of the party was pretty experienced, I considered it wise to stay out of melee, so I bought an arbalest for my gold. The first combat - vs. rather a large horde of orcs - went something like this:

Galen (my char) takes cover behind some barrels, and fires the loaded arbalest at a charging orc. The huge bolt collapses it's chest, and it goes down gurgling blood.

Another orc notices my shot, tosses a handaxe at me. It hits, I go down.

Our cleric (actually, a nature mage) gives me some healing. I wind the arbalest.

We're on round four. I fire the arbalest at an orc in melee with our dwarf linebacker (or tank). Spraying blood everywhere, the bolt removes the orcs head.

Again, the orcs are annoyed with me - another handaxe takes me down.

And so went the combat. I killed 8 orcs in something like 30 rounds, earning myself enough of the equivalent of xp to level twice. Not that the game has levels, mind. But ... you know.

[Dark_Scary]

I had an outsider/dead petitioner of pandemonium who grew all powerful and and mastered a wind and stone magic. He had a lot of cool things going for him, and his first fight went:

Kobolds riding on half dragon spiders ambush!

Rain of arrows on my character, two spiders jump up and bite me (both effected by my disease Warp Fever).

My turn. Unholy Vengeance: Control Wind to create Windstorm or something crazy, blows all the Kobolds off and back into a circle where they are trapped. Checks a few of the Spiders, allowing my party to finish them off.

Meanwhile, I teleport over to above the Kobolds (I'm immune to all wind effects as part of my wind magic awesome) resilient sphere over the leader kobold. Then Evard's Black Tentacles but doing sonic damage, and with a rider fear effect, I tear up all the other kobolds.

Dismiss the Control Wind, and then intimidate check on the lead kobold. Cha based caster and full ranks in intimidate, also, +infinity circumstantial for just tearing apart his entire squad in front of him.

He was our pet for the remainder of the campaign.

[FatherMalkav]

Not the first combat, but the boss battle in the first dungeon, third combat.

Our 4ed party's tank didn't show up, leaving two ranged strikers and a bard to face about ten goblins. My bard was a Long Tooth Shifter in the heaviest armor, so I charged in to tank. Through lucky rolls (and liberal use of Magestic Word) he managed to spend nearly the entire fight 3 vs 1 as the strikers focused on other targets. Ending in a blind strike (literally, he was Blinded) at the boss as he fled past him to the door.

*Nat 20*

Longsord's 8 x2 + ability score's 3 + Long Tooth Shifting's 2 + Frenzied Beserker's 2 =23 Damage

The little greenskin didn't know what hit him as the blind werewolf swung madly and happened to connect.

[Olo Demonsbane]

Sinfire Titan...I am going off to make a Totemist. Right Freak'n Now. I read that entire awesome thing!

[OracleofWuffing]

Ever since I got the Tome of Battle, I've been showing it around my group whenever somebody can't decide on a melee character. I've also been dropping hints around my group that I'd like to use a Tome of Battle class somewhere down the road. The best response I got was, "That's nice, now let me tell you about this character I'm thinking of, I'm leaning to Monk on this..."

So, before everyone goes home for summer, someone in the group wants to have one last one-shot dungeon crawling session. I make it quite clear that I'm going to finally try a Tome of Battle class. I eventually settle down on a Swordsage using mostly Desert Wind maneuvers. After finals are over and the group gets together, I get to see what the party's like. We have a (nearly unintelligible combination of multiclassing that ends in) Geomancer, a straight Bard that is playing the game for the first time, and the DMPC, who is an Undead Stalker (and is also undead). the DM informs the group that the monsters in this session are overpowered, that the Undead Stalker is custom-built to this session, said Undead Stalker is- and I quote- "Incredibly Awesome," and that Undead Stalker is the only character likely to survive. Please understand, this guy's heart is in the right place, he loves D&D and is a pretty nice guy, he just doesn't love reading character mechanics and falls in love with his own character concepts too much (He also rolled the bard's sheet, which was optimized for everything except a dungeon crawl).

Getting to the first encounter, a trap is triggered and some six Vampire Spawns attack us. Naturally, the Swordsage wins initiative. I take a good look around the map and at my readied maneuvers. "Well, I was hoping to save this for later, but this is kind of the perfect opportunity. I strike my sword into the ground, and summon a firesnake. I target these squares. The four Vampire Spawns in those squares take 6d6 points of fire damage."

The DM gives me a look, and says, "...Really?"

"If they make a reflex save of 17, they take half damage."

And again, the "...Really?"

That sort of process kept repeating itself through the session. Both the Geomancer and Bard kept finding themselves either missing, or not having spells suitable for the encounter. Zephyr Dance was used once every encounter, and when an attack finally got through to me, Fire Riposte hit. "Oh, and uh, I guess he would also take 5 points of fire damage from my Holocaust Cloak I activated earlier-" " He was already dead, okay!?" The fun part was using Shadow Jaunt when there was a perfectly viable, and perfectly safe, rope.

The fun only stopped when we hit the BBEG, a Dracolich, and I have to stop and recover my maneuvers. I get hit by a paralyzing spit, some 30ft away from the dragon. Everyone else is meleeing this thing, and only the DMPC hits. "Okay, your turn." "Paralyzed, next guy." It then dawns on the DM that his character is the only guy capable of actually doing damage with me predisposed. He does so, and kills the dracolich through DM fiat.

"Wait, um, don't we need to destroy the, uh... The thing?"
"What thing?"
"The thing that... It's 4:00AM and I can't remember the word, the thing that holds his soul and lets him regenerate if he's killed."
Geomancer: "Oh, the phylactery. Yeah, we need to destroy that."
"Um... He doesn't... Uh, there's no dragons around, so he doesn't have a body to regenerate in. Session over."

I was seriously considering trying to get the party to kill the Undead Stalker to put a twist ending on things, because I had a really good feeling that I could take him on. However, it was 4:00 in the morning and everyone desperately needed sleep.

[Sinfire Titan]

Sinfire Titan...I am going off to make a Totemist. Right Freak'n Now. I read that entire awesome thing!

There's a reason I wrote the handbook. Eisin was a real inspiration for me, I'm glad I played the class.

[RTGoodman]

The first session I played of the Savage Tide adventure path (it wasn't the actual first part of the AP, though), my Human Crusader was rescued by the rest of the party after having been a statue for quite a while (thanks to a cockatrice). They tell him their mission, and he agrees to go. The next day, the DM says we have to stop at an island to take on fresh water, and gives use the choice to either stay with the main ship or go with some redshirts other sailors to the island.]

Let's see... a Crusader with non-magic full-plate, going on a tiny boat in very deep water. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. Drowning is NOT a way I want a character to go. So, basically, the party all stayed with the main ship as the others went to get water. Of course, they get attacked... by a hydra. Much to the dismay of our Improved Sunder-lacking party.

With my lack of ranged weapons, I hopped up to the ballista and proceed to miss with a shot every other turn. Finally, though, the hydra comes towards our actual ship, but stays far enough below the level of the deck that we have to ready actions to even be able to reach it.

I got fed up with it, and said I was just going to jump overboard and land on it, and then kill it. Made some check, jump onto the hydra (didn't get hit by a single AoO), and proceeded to not just hit, but CRIT the thing using DIVINE SURGE. So I ended up doing something like 4d6 + 8d8 + 12 damage or something, completely killing it on one round, from nearly full HP (because of the fast healing and lack of fire and sundering). From the back of the slowly sinking dead hydra carcass, I called out "Flawless Victory!" and had someone throw me a rope so I could climb back aboard.

[Weimann]

My first character was a thief from the RPG Drakar och Demoner 6e (I think it's native to Sweden, or at least Scandinavia). He was a halfling thief with no actual weapon skill, so he fought with his hands. Later he learned thrown weapons, and at the end of the campaign he tossed knives and Molotov cocktails, but only when absolutely required.

In one of the first fights he was in, I believe it was against 3 robbers or so, he did what every self respecting thief does in a fight: ran the hell away and hid in a bush (playing a coward is so awesomely fun). Luckily, we had a big brute of a warrior on our team and he made short work of the enemies. He tossed them around a bit, though; one of them was knocked backwards, and he landed, dazed, in my bush! I made another hide check, and he didn't discover me, but it took another round for him to regain his bearings. In that time, I had stolen his pouch, and was giggling like a maniac when he ran off to be slaughtered.

After the battle, I joined in the lamentations over the poor loot on the enemies. No need for them to know ^^

[AslanCross]

My first character was a Warforged Fighter/Warblade, but unfortunately his first combat was horrible (lots of concealment in the forest + poison dusk lizardfolk + slow movement due to Adamantine Body = pretty sad). A few encounters later, though, he really shone when he was able to use all of his feats in one combat.

He used Charging Minotaur to attack a Dire Wolverine, and rolled a really good number, sending the beast skidding back 15 feet and lining it up for a second charge. He used his Brute Fighting feat to smash the Wolverine again with a regular charge. A third charge was fatal. I think that's the only time I've been able to charge 3 times in a row.

[Zergrusheddie]

The level 9ish group against the 4 Horned Devils (CR16) with their 9 Bearded Devil friends. I threw out a Confusion, beat every SR, and Confused 4 of Bearded Devils and 2 of the Horned Devils. Since there are only 3 people in the group, I ended up having a Horned and 2 Bearded swinging at my rather low AC. Thanks to extremely lucky rolls, the total of 12 incoming hits ended up hitting only Mirror Images. 3 Bearded and 1 Horned Devil sat in the corner and got the "Perpetual Attack Lock" from Confusion. Another lucky SR roll and an unlucky save incapacitated another Horned with Feeblemind.

Until that fight, we had only fought Undead, Constructs, or things that I didn't even need to cast spells against as the Fighter has a strength approaching the Tarrasque and just 1 rounded them. It was the first fight that my Beguiler was valuable. Everyone rolled incredibly well that fight; the Melee Beast managed to kill a Bearded in the first round thanks to some awesome crits and the Mystic Theurge rolled amazingly good with his grapple checks from Black Tentacles. It was glorious.

[Dhavaer]

Sorra, the first Warblade I played, had a very good first battle. I can't remember all the details, but the party were a group of recently discharged soldiers who came across some orcs who'd just sacked a village. She dropped three or four orcs out of a group of about eight. Unfortunately I don't think she got the leader, the other party members dropped him before she could take a shot.

[strawberryman]

In this sort of superhero Eberron game based in Sharn, my character was a half-fey Paladin of Freedom named Liridon (love playing with names, it means "freedom" in some language I forget). The DM had us do solo sessions before getting together, and naturally he spotted some trouble. While he was in a tower. And the trouble was down in... I think it was Dragon Light district, or something like that. Far below. So naturally, what does he do? Jump off the ledge into a dive (half-fey with dragonfly wings), and beat up the villain attacking helpless shifters. They considered him their hero (he did worship the Traveler), and one of them had the hots for him, too. *thumbs up*

[Corlindale]

My last character in Warhammer Fantasy was a Roadwarden/Highwayman (I started in an Advanced Career thanks to a house-rule where the GM lets late-coming characters trade in fate points for XP). Throughout his short career, he seemed to lean towards extremes of either good or bad luck.

In his first battle, he got jumped by 4 skavens at melee range, missing the only shot he managed to make before going down, and to top it off had one of his guns stolen while he was unconscious (the value of which he never managed to regain a fraction of, guns are terribly expensive). Probably would be the least satisfying 1st combat with a character

In his second battle, the party had attracted the attention of minotaur guarding a temple entrance. We were out in the open when the minotaur began to charge us (Note: Minotaurs in Warhammer are very nasty and have insane armor). The other characters had bows or crossbows, and they started to fire at it with little noticeable effect because of its huge DR. My character just levelled his gun towards the creature and calmly waited until he could see the white in its eyes (or until it came into the short range of his pistol, game-mechanic wise..). Then he fired.. and hit.. and critted...and critted again. (In Warhammer Fantasy crit damage can get arbitrarily high as long as you keep rolling a 10 on your damage die)
It ended up doing 30+ damage, and the GM ruled that the minotaur was simply torn apart by the shoulder, all the while complaining that this should have been a hard encounter .

In his last "battle", the party was travelling through a forest on the lookout for some mutant abberrations. Hearing something stir in a bush, he raised his gun. It proved to be just a flock of geese, but I decided that my character, having been heavily wounded (both physically and mentally) by said mutants the night before, was at this point so edgy that he was going to fire anyway.
And so his gun promptly exploded in his hand, critting and killing him on the spot Least glorious death ever... (and even less glorious when one considers what those mutants had done to him the night before, but it's probably best not to elaborate on that *shudder*)

[Narmoth]

I think the first combat in the current campaign, where my blackguard was able to flank at every turn with the help of the rogue and the cleric, and thus got 2d6 more dmg on each hit, was the most satisfying first encounter I've had.

[Fastmover]

I was new to a University when I met a gaming group. Three guys and two girls. They had already astablished a game when I grouped with them so they said I had to be an evil char two levels lower than they and under control of the DM's char and his wife. I said that's cool. Mind you they weren't as experienced as I realized halfway in the game. I started a Human Scout Level 3, axe and sword, short bow, imp trip, TWF, and Combat Reflexes. I was up against a Gnome bard/ranger, an Elf ranger and a char from out of the Erotic fantacy D20 books. (she wanted something sexy)

Well, the first game started on a large sailing vessel. I had two alchamist fire with thunder stones inside them with a short rope tieing them together to form a bowlin. The bard couldn't cast and while thunderstoned and on fire. The ranger couldn't hit me because he had no balance on the rocking ship which made good use of my Combat Reflexes and as a bonus I forcably laid with the girl with hardly any defences using my high skill in Use Rope and high Dex.
They stopped the game soon after.

I don't think I should be evil anymore... I liked it too much.

[Blackfang108]

A 13 Soulknife/5 Illumine Soul/4 Tempest.

TWF focused (obviously).

I've had exactly one attack roll. (Also, only played him for one short session.)

A Wizard was battling our Bard and "Sorceror"[I can't remember the actual class combo.]. Our bard dispelled the Wizard's Fly.

I ran underneath where the Wizard would fall and readied an action to throw my +3 Keen Soulbreaker Mind Blade when he was within 30' of me.

I threw, rolling a 17. (CRIT!).

I used Knife to the Soul to deal 5 INT damage.

Me: I deal 19 damage, 1 Negative Level, and 5 INT damage.

DM: OK, after your first one hits, he di-
Me: Um, that WAS one blade. I can only throw one per round.
DM: WHAT!?!?!? Crap. Well, he still disappears. (darned contingency spells.)

The look on everyone's face was priceless.

[PanNarrans]

I haven't played with this character in an actual adventure yet; Skych Mirasel, a half-elf duskblade with a spiked chain I wrote for a friend's campaign he never got around to running. However, we once played a player vs. player gladiatorial combat thing with the spare characters when we were bored.

First turn, the local munchkin's charger gallops his warhorse up to the sorcerer and skewers him instantly, while I go one on one with the cleric and the bard ignores us all and plays his mandolin to one side of the arena.

Next turn, the charger comes at me, and reduces me to 4 hit points in one blow; I move to get him between me and the cleric, and swing at him. When he charges again, I use an attack of opportunity to trip his horse; the two of them go down in a messy tangle of limbs. Come my turn I power attack, channeling a shocking grasp, and kill him. It was hilarious at the time, since we all assumed he'd win.

The bard then feathered myself and the weakened cleric with his crossbow from the opposite side of the arena, and played hot mandolin riffs while posing atop our corpses.

[AdmiralCheez]

This came right after my cleric of Hextor went down in a boss fight. The party needed a tank badly so my friend passes me the Book of Vile Darkness, saying "take a look at this class - Disciple of Dispater..."

Thus, I spent the rest of the fight rolling it up, and was introduced as the party came across a troll war-party. My character ran into this fight and wiped out two of the trolls in the first round. The rest didn't last long.

Later in the session, two young adult Blue Dragons showed up. The party psion dominated one of them, and I jumped off the top of it, landing on the other dragon.

He was a rather successful character, and ended up conquering the entire kingdom in-game. The very last session had us killing the black dragon masquerading as the King. Instead of restoring the king, he simply sat down on the throne and declared himself ruler. (I plan on using him as a villian in a future campaign.)

[Piedmon_Sama]

Oh man, as of last night I have the perfect story for this.

Some [strike]of you[/strike]one may recall I recently asked for help with a Gestalt Neanderthal character (I ended up going for Barbarian/Feat Rogue variant from Unearthed Arcana. Rage of the Barb, Skills of the Rogue, Feats of the Fighter...)

So with Young Male mechanically complete, I wrote a backstory of five pages (my DM asked for one). This Neanderthal, as a child, was part of a hunting band that retreated into the high mountains as famine/an ice age took the valley below. He fell into a sheaf of ice when hunting mountain goats, and was preserved for 30,000 years until some peasants collecting ice found him. He revived soon after and escaped while they were carrying him back in their wagon, and was stumbled upon by some poor and elderly farmers in a small and forgotten hamlet. Still an adolescent of 6 (Neanderthals aging more quickly than humans), Young Male (who was renamed Brom by his adopted parents) was educated in the common tongue, and more-or-less adopted by the whole village.

Anyway, when Young Male had grown into a stalwart buck of 12 years, a hard winter dangerously thinned the deer population of his adopted town (Neanderthals have an utterly ridiculous protein requirement, forcing Young Male to actively hunt almost every day). He traveled west along the country roads, but got confused at a fork and blundered towards the small town of Gervaud (where my friend, the first-time DM, wanted to begin the adventure). There is a thicket to one side of the road, while to the other he can see some farms nestles in hills a half-mile back. The town ahead is surrounded by a 20 foot high palisade, and despite the early morning hour it's curious to see the gate is shut and there's no activity around the town at all.

Puzzled, YM comes up to the gate, whereupon a guard peeps just his head and oversized gauntlet over the logs. Yeah. You can guess where this is going. So, 'Fritz' the guard begins first interrogating Young Male, spicing it with outrageously accented taunts, which is how YM learns that the citizens of Gervaud have penned up behind their barricade because of a man-eating beast that is haunting the countryside. YM, being a hunter, is excited by the prospect and asks to be let in so he can watch from the walls and try to observe the beast. Not only is he rebuffed, one guard (there are five) notices YM is carrying a large flank of beef over his shoulder---the parting gift of his adopted town before he went on his way. The guards decide that no man could have possibly evaded the Beast going through the forest with such a large cut of meat over his shoulder. They thus declare that YM is the beast and begin hurling insults at him.

Frankly, I wasn't taking this very seriously. As a Neanderthal, YM's native language is about 40% verbal and 60% gestures, handsigns, and body stance. He misses a lot of nuance in human speech, and since humans are so limited in nonverbal vocabulary they all come across to him as slightly retarded. But Young Male didn't intend to stand there and take that abuse, so he turns off the right shoulder of the road and starts for the farms. After exploring a few cottages (and pilfering some ripe corn from the untended fields), YM borrows a direlect axe and returns to the road.

While they continue throwing saucy jeers at YM, he undoes his armor and weapons, and leaves them with his food and bags at the foot of a treetrunk by the road, also undoing the lace of his shirt in a manly fashion. He then chooses a tree slightly taller than the palisade with a width of maybe 12", and spends however long chopping it down. After taking a few hours to crudely shave off the boughs, YM shoulders his crude escalade and drags it up to the wall, nesting its high end between two of the wall-poles' peaks. He then climbs up while the guards, insults only momentarily silenced, train their crossbows on him.

Again, I didn't seriously think the guards would get violent--they were *****, and apparently French, sure, but I didn't think they'd shoot at a clearly unarmed, lone individual. Also there was possibly a little metagaming--this was my friend's first game and I would think he might disappoint himself a bit if he had to axe a PC in the first session. So Young Male, completely nonplussed by having five crossbows pointed point-blank at his chest, takes a swig of his canteen and takes an apple out of his belt pouch. One lucky diplomacy check on my part later, the guards seem impressed enough to let YM in for the price of one of his javelins. YM counters with the offer of his shield, and when the guards tell him they have no need for shields behind the wall, he smirkingly tells them they have no need for a javelin with their puny arms. This apparently cuts the deal, as the guards order YM off the wall at boltpoint.

Just as I'm ready to either give it up and find a different town or hulk out and attempt to knock all five guards off the scaffold behind the palisade, one of the guards screams shrilly and points downwards.

Right at the foot of my improvised escalade is The Beast. A homebrewed Animal, it appears to be a wolf-dog of mechanically Large size--its head as large as the trunk of a man's body, its shoulders as tall as Young Male and its body longer than a human's height. It is currently chomping on the last of Young Male's prized beef flank, and looks up and eyes them with blazing red eyes.

The guards start firing wildly, panicked just to see the legendary monster that had claimed 80 peasants' lives in the region, and, here's where nothing else went according to my DM's plan that night.

Young Male, naked to the waist and unarmed, waited until the last of the guards had fired his crossbow, two bolts glancing off the animal and drawing blood, a third sticking into its back. With a derisive snort and an unbelieving look as he says "that's your beast?" the half-naked Neanderthal enters his Rage and jumps right over the wall.

A few minutes follow wherein I talk my flustered DM into counting the bodyslam as a touch attack, which he tells me to follow with a Tumble check and a subsequent Bluff. This monster, he later told me, possessed 45 HP and +11 attack with a bite that did 1d12+8 in damage. Young Male, in his rage, possessed a +6 Strength bonus and 16 HP.

So YM clocks the Beast right on its massive head as he drops hard, flopping down ungracefully on his back--4 damage from the failed landing, the DM taking off 1d6 for landing on the Beast. As the Beast shakes its head free of cobwebs and snarls at him, Young Male snarls back (this was the Bluff check, which I got a 19 on---and apparently my DM's idea of how not to have my character killed instantly). "Between Young Male's ferocity and the shouts and noise coming from the city behind him, the Beast thinks better of staying," my DM says, and turns around to run. Young Male gets in an AoO. So as the Beast backs up while feigning a snap of its jaws at YM, the Neanderthal takes a step forward and uppercuts it right under the snout. Its hundreds of pounds of fur and muscle are sent smacking up against a tree trunk, according to my DM's description.

Now between the bolts and two solid hits from a raging Neanderthal, the monster is already down in HP. I have a solid shot at killing it, so Young Male attempts to tumble past the beast, towards the tree where his armor and weapons still lie. That was the second tumble check I blew, which got me slashed for 8 damage and brought YM down to 4 HP. But he made it through the monster's squares and took one more five-foot step to reach his gear. Unable to grab a weapon in his remaining turn, pivoted and readied for the animal's charge.

The guards had finished reloading and fired a second volley: once again, to my DM's horror, the nameless NPCs shot true and three more bolts were buried in the beast's back. Now it was down to the single-digits as well. On Young Male's next action, he snatched up his masterworked spear and took one more step away, bringing 10 feet between himself and the animal. YM braced himself for a charge, confident he could kill the Beast at a blow en passe.

The old and canny man-eater knew it was doomed and resolved to throw itself at the plucky Neanderthal as its last act: the monster charged Young Male, leaping as it goes with its massive body black against the sun, burning eyes and bright blood burning against the shade. Young Male takes a step forward and slides well out to the side, thrusting his spear up into the shaggy fur over the Beast's throat and driving its engraved-iron tip right out behind the shoulder. The monster falls, wrenching the weapon from YM's hand as its great body hits the mud with a shudder.

So my character, as a sign of parting respect to the guards, rolls the beast over and dresses the corpse by slicing the throat and pulling its guts out right on the road in front of the gateway, tying the massive animal to a pole before hauling it back to the farms in the distance. Evening is approaching by the time YM has the beast fully flensed, and is preparing a cooking pit outside for the strips of meat he intends to smoke. When he steps out he finds an immense gathering of the citizens there, who promptly sweep him into the air and carry him through the gates in a triumphal march.

This time there were no taunts from the walls. :D