Nestwarped (IC)

[ThirdEmperor]

==> Be Pallar Gotrem

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The brilliant Alternian sun hangs at the lower edge of it's orbit, painting the horizon it inches towards a brightly, bloody red and casting that same dusky rose hue upon the thriving garden that serves as your respiteblock, a lone patch of verdant green nested amidst the sprawling desert badlands. Truly, a sight that would bring a TEAR to the EYE of even the most austere poet.


And you don't think you've ever been more miserable in your life.

Your ALLERGIES are worse than ever this wretched BUDDING SEASON and you've spent the last three days holed up in your IMITATION TARDIS in the hopes that it's SUPPOSED EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL QUALITIES might shield you from the FLORAL SEEDLINGS infesting the air, UNABLE TO SLEEP due to the sheer depths of your ALLERGIC MISERY. You think that your nose is going to fall off if it RUNS ANY FASTER, and worse yet, YOU'RE ALL OUT OF TISSUES.

The only dark spot on the horizon is that, in a few hours, your FRIENDS will be up. For weeks now you guys've been getting ready to play this new SGRuB game that sounds to be THE ABSOLUTE MUSCLEBEAST-MANURE, and today is finally the day.

Say, one of them's even awake and online right now!

Except, ugh, it's THAT GUY. He used to be a PRETTY COOL PAL, until one day he just VANISHED. He only showed up again LAST SWEEP, with an all-new, all-jerk attitude, inviting you to take part in this SGRuB thing, which he promises to be THE GAME TO END ALL GAMES.

imperiousCommand is trolling allergicGambler

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iC: Ahem.
iC: We cannot help but notice the length of your stay online
iC: Considering what we embark upon tomorrow We would advice you to save your strength
iC: In fact, We would COMMAND it.

==> Be Yscton Yagmur

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You COULDN'T SLEEP. Tonight, even the welcoming embrace of your RECUPARACOON can't seem to hold the dark dreams at bay. One dream in particular.

It starts with a thunderous, grinding roar. The roar of the one engine you've never tamed, never dared to let loose upon the high roads of pitch-black asphalt to burn itself bright in one glorious rush. Then, the roar becomes laughter, cackling, mad, without mirth. Even now the all-encompassing velvet dark does not lift, but with the laughter's cackling crescendo shapes become apparent within it. Horrible, horrible shapes. And then the laughter becomes a voice and always was voice, speaking to you of horrors even worse than those terrifying silhouettes framed against the void.

They speak of TOMORROW. Of a WEAPON FORGED OF STOLEN RICHES. Of a BEAST THAT WAITS AHEAD and a MONSTER THAT PULLS THE STRINGS. Of your own DEATH, to SERVE A HIGHER CAUSE.

THAT DREAM scares you in ways you can't describe. So here you sit, in a dark corner of your room where the HARSH ALTERNIAN SUNLIGHT cannot reach, a bottle of ORANGE FAYGO clutched to your chest, a half-dozen emptied ones lying before you, the last drops of their PRECIOUS ELIXER spilled out to form a rainbow bloodstain on the floor.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow you're to play a GAME with your FRIENDS, or, what pass for your friends. Something called... SGRuB? Or something. Whatever it is, it can't be worse than what the VOICES sing of.

Suddenly your STUPOR is broken by a loud metal crash from DOWNSTAIRS. Your LUSUS, SLOW-POKE THAT HE IS, lets out a cry of distress moments too late. Sounds like SOMEBODY'S COME TO PLAY.

==> Be Irvekt Dirmin

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The cavern ceiling looms so far overhead you can barely make it out, stalactites hanging down like the sword(s) of Troll Damocles. Ahead the way narrows down to nearly nothing, a passage barely large enough for you to squeeze through. A ROCKFALL TRAP having blocked any chance of retreat, this passageway offers the SOLE ROUTE FORWARDS OR BACK.

And blocking it is a GREAT BLOODY LIZARD. Dull green scales ARMOR the beast's hide, GNASHING TEETH and CATCHING CLAWS arming it. A long tail ending in a SCYTHE-LIKE SPAR OF BONE sweeps across the cave floor, while it's beadily malevolent eyes track your every move. All very realistic. You can barely even see the DATA BAT hiding behind a nearby rock unless you look for it, tho' the stat bars hovering above the GUARD 'GUANA's head is a dead giveaway.

You have to hand it to Jemdas, this's ONE HECK OF AN ADVENTURE. If only it wasn't SOOOO DARN LONG.

You started this FLARP at the BREAK OF NIGHT and have by now played all the way through to sunrise and BEYOND, in fact, you'd wager the sun would have to be pretty close to SETTING ONCE MORE by now. You've NAVIGATED TREACHEROUS UNDERGROUND WARRENS, FOUGHT VICIOUS BEASTS, SOLVED CUNNING TRAPS and SEEN SO MANY LIZARDS YOU THAT IF YOU EVER SEE ANOTHER LIZARD AGAIN IN YOUR LIFE YOU MIGHT JUST TURN ON THE CAPS LOCK AND NEVER STOP OUT OF SHEER LIZARD HATRED.

You'd have already quit from sheer exhaustion, as even keeping your eyes open is a struggle at this point, but ETAOIN hasn't quit yet and you'll be COLD AND DEAD IN THE GROUND before you give him victory that easily. Besides, you've got to be near the final room by now.

==> Be Makdan Beldin

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You sit upon a bed of pastel silks in a room of gold, staring out the lone window into a beautiful dotted with clouds like windows into times past and future...

....

You sit upon a BED OF PASTEL SILKS in a ROOM OF GOLD, staring out the lone window into a BEAUTIFUL BLUE SKY dotted with clouds like WINDOWS INTO TIMES PAST AND FUTURE.

You must have been sitting here for HOURS or even DAYS looking out that window into that blue sky, but only now do you suddenly realize it, much like a dream which you can only make sense of once you AWAKE. Looking down, you find yourself dressed in GOLDEN PAJAMAS, feet shod with REGAL BATHROOM SLIPPERS. With another start of surprise, so too do you discover YOU'RE NOT REALLY SITTING AT ALL, but floating a half-inch above the bed.

Surveying your environ, you see the room is packed wall-to-wall with OVERSTUFFED BOOKSHELVES, each sagging under the load of WEIGHTY TOMES, GOLD-EMBOSSED VOLUMES and LEATHERBOUND LEXICONS. The only patch of wallspace cleared is to make room for the door, emblazoned with the a sunburst of lines circling around an empty space. A TRICKED-OUT COMPUTER sits on a desk at the foot of your bed, screen casting a pale glow into the already brightly lit room.

You've got to be DREAMING.

==> Be Tiemet

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Morning through night, rolling waves crash against the edges of the CORAL REEF that houses your RESPITEBLOCK, located in a calm, mostly empty stretch of the GRAND ALTERNIAN OCEAN. For as long as you can remember the SONG of the ocean has been the tune to your existence, the BEAT to which your life has played out, a constant RHYTHM undercutting every truly important day in your existence of a mere EIGHT SOLAR SWEEPS.

And today, for the first time you can recall, the sea is quiet, STILL AS THE GRAVE. The deafening silence sounds loud as any WAILING CRY, cutting through the deafening hold of your SOPOR-FILLED BED to awaken you as surely as if you had been struck.

Outside, the ocean looks as if it was DEAD, a flat expanse of dark blue unbroken by ripple or wave stretching on far past the CRIMSON SUNSET, even as a DARK STORM boils up upon the horizon towards your ISLAND HOME. The SOLE SIGN of whatever force has done this, a TRAIL OF BRIGHT CRIMSON burned into the air by some meteoric object's descent, striking the waters like a SPEAR THROWN FROM THE SKY.

As if on cue DARK SHAPES stir beneath the water, the damnable stillness finally disturbed as a pack of IVORY STABWAILS rise up from the deeps all at once, turning their WISE HEADS skywards and issuing forth a KEENING CRY. At once the call is returned from far away in all directions, the air around you echoing with MOURNFUL WAILSONG, as well as another SONG, coming from deep below the ocean, right, you judge, where whatever FELL FROM THE HEAVENS to leave that trail would have landed.

==> Be Tassie Larkan

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YOU'RE DREAMING.

There's simply no other explanation for how you came to be here, FLOATING UPSIDE-DOWN over a PURPLE VELVET BED in a PURPLE VELVET ROOM, surrounded by intricate TOWERS OF COAL-BLACK METAL rising up like a miniature city from the PURPLE FLOOR.

Nor is there any other explanation for HIM.

Perched upon the sill of the room's SOLE WINDOW, which looks out upon a GREAT EXPANSE OF NIGHT SKY, is a short, round-faced man, a DIMINUTIVE INTRUDER if you will, covered entirely by a SHINY CARAPACE the color of NIGHT. No nose or ears or hair has he, merely two blank eyes and a sharp-toothed mouth, his torso swaddled in cloths of PURPLE and RED, head adorned by a singularly out-of-place NEWSBOY CAP.

In his hands this SPECTER OF YOUR IMAGINATION holds an OLD-FASHIONED POLAROID CAMERA, with which he seems busily enganged snapping pictures of you, unaware that you can even see him.

==> Be Jemdas Kitlec

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Your eyes are LIDDED and BLEERY as you stars at your glowing COMPUTER MONITOR, as you've been doing non-stop for a full SUN CYCLE now. In retrospect, clouding a MARATHON FLARP SESSION for IRVEKT and ETAOIN might not have been such a hot idea.

You've had them crawling around A SERIES OF DINGY TUNNELS for hours now, orchestrating FIENDISH MAZES, DIABOLICAL TRAPS and endless ENEMIES OF REPTILIAN PERSAUSION for them to conquer, a grueling TEST of tour GAME-MASTERING ABILITIES. You'd like to think you've SUCCEEDED STUNNINGLY.

And now, in the closing hours of the day, your fingers stained by the residue of COUNTLESS MID-DAY SNACKS as you type away, you see they've finally reached the FINAL CHALLENGE. Even now, Irvekt battles against the GUARD IGUANA for his right to proceed to the treasure room, whilee Etaoin DUELS FOR HIS LIFE with the pair of CLOCKWORK CROCODILE-MEN you've set to defend the PRIZE. Best of all, you even have a REAL PRIZE this time, courtesy of ANOTHER FLARPING ENTHUSIAST you knew once, who's recently made a RE-APPEARANCE.

And speak of the devil, here they are now, the Trollian screen popping up over your other windows as it has AN ANNOYING TENDENCY TO DO when talking to them.

imperiousCommand is trolling mazterZorcerer

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iC: Ahem.
iC: We would inquire as to our brave Heroes progress upon the quest
iC: More specifically
iC: We are interested in whether they have yet to claim the prize
iC: We feel it wise perhaps to issue a reminder, that their doing so is of CRUCIAL IMPORTANCE

It's honestly REALLY HARD to GET A READ ON THEM. They were pretty cool back when you FLARPed with them, but this whole 'royal We' thing they've picked up since is pretty durn annoying. They even refused to divulge the PRECISE NATURE of this treasure, only saying it has something to do with the GAME they've invited you to take part in.

==> Be Etaoin Burrus

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The BOILING HEAT on your back grows ever more intense as you're forced another step towards the SACRIFICAL PIT, the heels of your shoes already sizzling as they hang over the precarious drop. All around the GOLDEN SNAKE STATUE'S seem to leer in bloodthirsty anticipation, the light of the LAVA POOLS reflecting off the white-marbled walls and casting them in sinister light.

The twin CLOCKWORK CROCODILE-MEN that guard this ANCIENT SANCTUM also seem to be learing, the clocks built into their chests ticking out a steady, COLD-BLOODED HEARTBEAT as they advance, stabbing and poming with their spears to drive you one last step to CERTAIN DEATH, stubby bronze feet clacking against the stone floor.*

And above, slowly lowering down towards the lava, hangs the GOLDEN CAGE that contains your PRIZE, your THINGFINDER beeping insistently in it's direction.

It's all UTTERLY FAKE of course, STAT READOUTS hover above the CROCMEN's heads and the laughing statues are mere holograms, but you have to hand it to JEMDAS; he's cooked up one hell of an ADVENTURE. Over the last TWENTY FOUR HOUR FLARP MARATHON SESSION, you've braved HELLISH LOCALES, VANQUISHED ALL MANNER OF FOES and NAVIGATED SEEMINGLY ENDLESS CATACOMBS with the aid of your THINGFINDER.

It's been a long, wearying campaign, your clothes positively matted with filth and grime from crawling through tunnel after tunnel, but now all that stands between you and VICTORY over your competitor IRVEKT are these DANG-BLASTED CROCODILES.

==> Be Gidrim Oronet

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On all sides ancient, austere trees tower upwards, barren limbs reaching for the sky, the very leaves that once adorned those branches crunching underfoot. Thick vines entangle and string together the trunks, while shrubs and weeds tangle the ground.*

You are here on behalf of an OLD FRIEND, who DISAPPEARED one day and has ONLY RECENTLY RESURFACED, inviting you and some of your pals to play a GAME called SBuRB. This GAME is supposedly the REASON for you being here at this DREADFUL HOUR, the last rays of SUNSET not even faded from the sky. According to this LONG-LOST FRIEND, something important is about to happen.

And right on schedule a METEOR tears across the sky with a FEARSOME ROAR, leaving a thick TRAIL OF CRIMSON in it's wake as it DESCENDS towards the ground not far away. Being thoroughly familiar with this area, you can even guess WHERE IT'S HEADED; A small, shady clearing with a CRYSTAL POOL.

[Lord Raziere]

==>

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Strange. You have never had a dream like this before. Furthermore, you are sure that you ever been this lucid in a dream. You float a little out the window and gaze down upon the golden, shining cityscape below, taking in the glorious brilliant wonder before you, one that you have never seen in all your life, an urban tapestry that is like a piece of art to rival the sun itself-
and flatly mutter:
"What a gaudy sp3ctacl3"
and float back inside. This place does not make sense to you. Well aside from the books. Books always make sense. What doesn't make sense to you is why you are here. You need to gather information. First, you need to find out where you are. Second you need to figure why you are here, and Third, figure out what action to take based those two pieces of information.

You float over to the books, and try to search for one that will tell you where you are. After all, its a library meant for information. You do not stock such things without including tomes about the surrounding area. That would be like living on a boat without the necessary equipment to survive in the ocean around you or something.

[Zealumieo]

Tassie: Look around and act quick

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?!?

Well you're alarmed but not too alarmed... Now if you could just- c'mon, this flying thing doesn't seem hard you're already up there. Twist! Yes Twist! This is embarrassing! Your first contact with another species and you aren't standing... well floating triumphant like you'd imagined.

OH SWEET HORRORS OF HORRORTERRORS ITS TAKING PICTURES. You act quickly to take away the evidence. You are generally not against others taking pictures but these are already of the NIGH CANDID sort.

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Whats the skill roll to jump him and take the camera?
Edit: Fighting roll :D Oh and Here too apparently
>.>
12*+9= 21

[Anecronwashere]

=====>

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mazterZorceror is trolling imperiousCommand

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mZ: zEy are at zefinal ztage. fAcing down the ClockCrokz and ze Iguana.
mZ: i Do wizh you would tell me what ze prize iz. uNless it iz a metaFLARP zing you are zetting up like in "Ze FLARP of Doom" Trilogy.

Jemdas drinks a long slurp of a POTION OF WAKEFULNESS. He knows it isn't a POTION OF OWL'S WISDOM because of the strong taste of GROUND SHNOZBERRY mixed in with the POWDERED BANANA.
Why his friends keep referring to them as MILKSHAKES is beyond him. The addition of MILKMystical Illumunian Lusus Krud and the prompt preparation method of SHAKING IT REPEATEDLY TILL ITS FROTHY is but a single ingredient and method by which the POTIONS are BREWED.

[lord pringle]

=====>Pallar Gotrem

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Pallar groans a bit and responds to him.
allergicGambler is trolling imperiousCommand

AG:Yeah?
AG: You're *Sniff* cobbaddig be?
AG: Er, Orderig.
AG: Well, who are this "we" adyway?
AG: Are you sobe sort of hive mind?

[ThirdEmperor]

==> Be Pallar Gotrem

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imperiousCommand is pestering allergicGambler

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iC: Tsk tsk.
iC: Such ridiculous science fiction
iC: To use the pronoun 'We' is a declaration of righteousness
iC: A declaration that you speak for many
iC: For what you speak is the truth and thus only a fool could deny you.
iC: We hope you are not in a foolish mood today?

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Also, I had meant to use gender-neutral pronouns for imperiousCommand, that is, 'the' and 'they'. Please pretend I did.

==> Be Makdan Beldin

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Outside the window you see a dazzling city of gold, sweeping arches connecting impossibly tall towers in a network of bridges, all hung with colorful banners of silken thread emblazoned with the symbol of the sun. Creatures, so tiny at this distance they could be mere insects, skitter too and fronacross these walkways, their bodies a shining ivory white.

Although the tower from which you observe all is clearly the tallest, close second comes the GOLDEN PALACE situated before your window, done in the style of TROLL-AGRABAH, with golden teardrop domes and sloping, elegant curves throughout, what look to be flying ships anchored to the four towers that stand like corner posts around it.

So to do you see a planet not far above, it's lands carefully swathed and blanketed in fluffy white clouds, the patches of sky between shining a brilliant blue that seems the sweetest color in all the world.

But these glorious sights are not all. No, not all. Off, far off in the distance, against the backdrop of the lightless void, you see an OMINOUS SILHOUTTE painted in slightly lighter black than it's surroundings. It is ugly, squat, ring-shaped yet somehow calling instantly to mind images of skeletons. As you watch the tiniest flash of light bursts into existence upon it, followed by several more before darkness returns.

==> Be Jemdas Kitlec

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imperiousCommand is trolling mazterZorcerer

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iC: Your casual bastardization of the language continues to displease Us
iC: We believe there is a time and place for Z's
iC: But We also recognize the use of an occasional S
iC: And the importance of choosing between them

Well, this is getting annoying fast. With the Trollian window up, you can't even see what Irvekt and Etaoin are getting up to!

==> Be Tassie Larkan

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Eee-yipe!

Underestimating your own STRENGTH, you end up launching yourself like at the poor SAP like a cannonball and tackling him right out the window into the night sky beyond.

He is understandably somewhat NON-PLUSSED.

Below you loom great towers of purple and black, so MAJESTIC and AWESOMELY, HUGELY OVERSIZED they make your prized Alternian architecture seem like no more in comparison than crude models, built out of blocks by a particularly dull child at play. Also worth noting is that they loom far, far below, only your hand around the INTRUDER's throat keeping him from meeting certain doom upon those distant, tiny roads, crawling with specks of black you know to be more like him.

The CAMERA, meanwhile, has no such luxury of being strangled. As it is thrown out of the INTRUDER's hand during the struggle, it makes a brief upwards arc, before gravity catches on and sends it tumbling down, down, down...

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Just a note, but you don't add your roll and the wild die together, you use whichever one's better

[Zealumieo]

=====>

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38o
Do your wonderfully goggled eye's deceive you? This. Place. Is. Damn-Fishy-itIS Awesome! Its a bit premature for your universal conquest list, but this place would definitely be on the preserve side... pfft well that was a given of course, you'd be soo awesome at conquering you're pretty sure you'd be able to take over a planet without doing much structural damage. Eh, if you live that long- not bad for a dream though. You feel better about thing, though it still eventually makes you sad again, why is every good feeling DOOMED to be undercurrented by your innerdoubts?

She looked down to check if any of those pictures were floating down, they probably were... Naked and open to the unsuspecting public. Actually, what the- what are you wearing?!? Pajamas? What a silly thing to bother with.

Hoh-Beast Manure! This poor guy is still being held by you, atleast you're strong enough to not break a sweat holding him, "My bad, that was shellfish of me. Generally I don't tackle people taking pictures of me... Thats Okay. Actually no. Why are you taking pictures without my conseant? " From the way this guy was struggling, it didn't seem like he could float like she could- plus he didn't have one of those flimsy things like wings. Shame though, wings do make you look bigger. Situation calling and all, she probably sounded like she was interrogating him. Damn bad habit.

Anywaves, you shift around carefully so he doesn't get dropped and he can respond with what you presume is his head. Different species generally can talk from their heads right?

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Lol! My bad, I'll keep that in mind haha. x3 Sorry, bit new to the system.

Intimidation Roll... Probably get some modifiers since I'm literally keeping him alive. *Not included

6 + 3 = 9

[ScionoftheVoid]

=====>

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Yscton springs to a cat-like poise before drawing a weapon and hastily skulking downward, toward the intruder, a silent snarl welded to his half-ruined face.

[Anecronwashere]

=====> Finish Trolling and check up on FLARPers

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masterZorceror is trolling imperiousCommand

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mZ: zE usage of ze Z'z are a tribute to my favorite author of the classic book "Attack of the TerrorTwins". i Will not ztop uzing zem.
mZ: i Bid you adeu as I really must get back to zupervizing the FLARPerz.

Closing the window Jemdas peeks in on the two competing FLARPers

[Lord Raziere]

===> Lets try this again.

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"What a gaudy sp3ctacl3."
You mutter in response. You then turn back around to your room, the thought of going down and asking one of those white people for information not even crossing your mind. Such a thought is nowhere near your mind. That thought is probably like sneaking into some other trolls mind and ambushing them like a ninja to assassinate a lack of inspiration, but it is very far from you and will probably remain so for a little while.

Instead you think to yourself: Two pieces of information I have to gather: one, where am I, and two: why am I here. You then need to figure out what action to take based upon those two pieces of information. So you float over to the books in this small library, searching for one that might tell you something of this place. After all, what person makes a library without including information on the local surroundings? A fool. It would be like a man designing a fortress without taking advantage of the local terrain or something.

[sournote103]

======> Gidrim: Investigate

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Better track down that meteor. You set of in the direction of the clearing where you think it will land. You make sure not to get too close though, since death by meteor does NOT sound fun. Once you make your way to within viewing distance, you sit and wait, both for the meteor and for the sun to fully set.

[lord pringle]

==> Be Pallar Gotrem

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imperiousCommand is pestering allergicGambler

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iC: Tsk tsk.
iC: Such ridiculous science fiction
iC: To use the pronoun 'We' is a declaration of righteousness
iC: A declaration that you speak for many
iC: For what you speak is the truth and thus only a fool could deny you.
iC: We hope you are not in a foolish mood today?

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You sigh and cast your gaze at the wonderful TENTH DOCTOR POSTER. If only he were here, and this was a real TARDIS rather than a MODEL made by your moirail. Then you could fly away from this awful place.
imperiousCommand is trolling allergicGambler
AG: I'b dot in a foolish bood, I'b id ad awful bood.
AG: I *Sneeze* didd't get ady sleep because I couldd't breathe.
AG: So if you can sdap your figers add bake me sleep, thed I could
AG: "Save my stregth." *Sniff*
AG: I would also appreciate if you could sdap your figers and sedd me sobe tissues.
AG: Besides, hive bidds are ad absolute fact.

[Science Officer]

======>

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The challenge is certainly difficult, but not insurmountable for a prepared CONNIVING PLUNDERER player. You should be able to evade those ponderous automatons, the real trick will be grabbing the prize before it descends fully into the lava.

You examine your captchalogue for useful items:

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-Sap
-Flip-Top Rotary Communication Device
-Caltrops
-6 Neat Looking Rocks
-2 Unidentified Red Potion(s) (FLARP item)
-1 Unidentified White Potion(s) (FLARP item)
-4 Padlocks
-Bag of Gold Coins (FLARP item)
-Grappling Hook (with coil of rope)
-Torch
-Roughly-Hewn Ivory Statue (FLARP item)
-Roughly-Hewn Sandwich (with extra grub-sauce)

(You're pretty sure you had a lot more neat-looking rocks than that. Your GARBAGE-COLLECTION MODUS must have trashed them.)

That white potion is probably a bottle of glue or rusting oil or something. Just the thing to jam the cogs of a CLOCKWORK CROCODILE-MAN.

You try to retrieve it. The odds are 1 in ln(12+1) or ~39%

[Jacior]

==>

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Another LIZARD. Everywhere you turned there has been LIZARD AFTER LIZARD. It wasn't that you didn't enjoy the typically SMALL, SCALED VERTEBRATES, it's just that JEMDAS seemed OBSESSED with them in this CAMPAIGN. It was enough to drive one MAD, but they died just as well as anything else.

You lean against the wall, breathing heavily. This was proving to be quite the EPIC CAMPAIGN. Jemdas had promised a marathon campaign and had delivered one that wouldn't be soon forgotten. Of course, the EXHAUSTION that would inevitably follow might be able to WIPE it from MEMORY, but that wasn't likely.

You glare at the GUARD GUANA with rage. How dare it stand between you and what you are POSTIVE is the LAST, FINAL and most TREASURE LADEN room of this adventure. In a fit of rage, you decide the best way to deal with it was to BOLT it to oblivion. So you make the attempt. You place your hands to your temples and launch 3 energy bolts in quick succession.

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3 bolts! Cost 3PP. I am pretty sure that an 11 gets a raise, but I am not sure what to do about that...

Roll: 1, 3, 11

[ThirdEmperor]

==> Tassie Larkan

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The poor fellow seems QUITE CONTRITE, sweating like your SIMPLE QUESTION was a grilling to MAKE TROLL-GEORGE FOREMAN PROUD.

"Oh! Oh no! No no! Journalist! News! Newest of the new news, so cutting edge it bleeds future! Very photogenic!l

So, it would seem the chump currently clinging to your arm and babbling his guts out is not merely a DIMINUTIVE INTRUDER, but a DARING INVESTIGATOR as well!

He was still taking photos of you in your nightgown tho'. >:(

==> Be Yscton Yagmur

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Stealthily descending down the stairs, with cat-like tread afoot and crude weaponry ahand, you manage to catch sight of the intruders before they espy you!

Your DEN AREA has been reduced to a mess, TWO-WHEELED LOCOMOTIVES toppled and spare AUTO-PARTS tossed around with wild abandon! And there in the center of it all is the one RESPONSIBLE for the toppling and tossing, WHALING upon your LUSUS's shell with a STOLEN WRENCH!

The creature might resemble a troll like yourself, if rather than flesh and blood you had the misfortune of being ASSEMBLED FROM SCRAP; A CRUDE SIMULACRUM of clumsily-welded steel, flailing it's EXTENDABLE LIMBS dumbly. Upon it's chest is marked a strangle symbol, an upside down pentagon bedecked by towers, a crown marked out in white within.

==> Be Jemdas Kitlec

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You have just time to see Etaoin FLAILING AROUND WITH A SANDWICH before the Trollian window pops up again, obscuring your view of the MODUS SHENANIGANRY! Gah! How do they keep DOING THAT?

imperiousCommand is trolling mazterZorcerer

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iC: Ahem.
iC: Such rude terseness is uncalled for
iC: Combined with your stubborn refusal to cease butchering the language, reminiscent of a squealing grubwiggler writhing in the mud
iC: It will not be tolerated
iC: Besides
iC: We have something of GRAVE IMPORTANCE to inform you of

==> Be Makdan Beldin

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It seems then a TRUE MADMEN authored these books, for although their exteriors be gaudy, the pages within look to be UTTERLY BLANK!

There's a trite moral in there somewhere.

==> Be Pallar Gotrem

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imperiousCommand is pestering allergicGambler

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iC: We fail to see why noses are even necessary
iC: They seem more trouble than they're worth
iC: And upon the subject of troublesome things, must you really transcribe the distortion of your voice?
iC: It is difficult to translate

==> Gidrim Oronet

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Following the METEORIC TRAIL you soon find it's maker, which has indeed fallen PRECISELY WHERE YOU GUESSED IT WOULD. The ONCE-PEACEFUL GLADE and SERENE POOL have been reduced to a smoke crater, the shrubbery on all sides smoldering with the budding start of a proper forest fire.

Unfortunately, you are not the only CREATURE OF THE WILDS come to investigate. Already here awaits a HIDEOUS TRI-SQUEALER, a PORKY BEAST possessing THICK FEATHERS, a pair of STURDY TUSKS and most dangerous of all, a THREEFOLD SET OF SHARPENED HORNS.

==> Be Etaoin Burrus

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Thinking fast and living faster, you reach for your SYLLANDEX with lighning speed, withdrawing from that ENDLESS REPOSITORY the one trick left in your sleeve, your ace in the hole, your last, best hope for besting these beasts!


... Or a sandwich. That works too.

The CLOKCROCS pause for a tick in stunned bepuzzlement, before resuming their assault with more fury than ever, forcing you to dance, PARRY and even employ your delicious sandwich as a shield to hold your precarious position upon the lip of the SACRIFICIAL PIT!

==> Be Irvekt Dirmin

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PSYCHOKINETIC BOLTS clash against STURDY REPTILIAN BIOLOGY! The first BOLT is deflected by the GAUNA's THICK, SCALY HIDE, crashing against the cavern floor and kicking up a spray of rocks and dust! The second skims across it's skull as the BEAST turns to face you, opening it's mouth to let out a HISSING ROAR!

This attempted intimidation turns out to be it's downfall though, for it merely allows you to hurl the third and final projectile RIGHT DOWN IT's GOB! The roar becomes a fit of coughing, choking and gasping, eyes bugging out and rolling back as it tries to recover from the LOW-HANDED STRIKE.

Without warning it's BARBED TAIL comes lashing round, seeking vengeance and finding it in spades. The SCYTHE-LIKE STINGERS tears a half-dozen SHALLOW CUTS across your flesh before you can escape it's range, your health bar dropping by NEARLY A QUARTER!

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One wound worth of damage is inflicted upon Irvekt, but, what with this being merely a FLARP, it only counts towards FLARP-stuff.

==> Be Dryden Salden

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You dream of ABSTRACT THINGS. Of IMPOSSIBLE SHAPES framed upon a HUNGRY VOID, so HIDEOUS that they're somehow BEAUTIFUL. You dream of a DARK CITY ruled in ABSENTIA, fighting A WAR PREDETERMINED. You dream of MANY THINGS, most of which are lost forever upon the very MOMENT OF WAKING.

This is ONE SUCH MOMENT. You cannot for the life of you recall what you dreamt of this day, only that it was of such UNMATCHED URGENCY to force you awake before NIGHTFALL. Even now the sky is BRIGHT RED with the FADING SUNLIGHT... Too red for that even.

Looking out, you see a GREAT SPHERE OF MOLTEN ROCK descending towards the earth, SMALLER METEROIDS breaking away and showering down into the surrounding forests as the main mass falls strait for your PALACIAL ABODE. Even with your undeveloped skills in the FIELD OF METEOROLOGY, you can tell this is not a good situation to be in.

[Anecronwashere]

OOC: You guys do realize Canonically you should have 5 = right? cause we have 10 players (well, 9 but Im counting (Redacted) and to even the numbers).
Like the Humans had 2 = cause they had 4 players and the trolls had 6 = for 12 players

=====>

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mazterZorceror is trolling imperialCommand
mZ: i Am trying to CLOUD, I get zat you have a high opinion of yourzelf but everyone has zeir typing quirkz and telling zem to ztop is highly rude in and of itzelf
mZ: iF i do not overzee ze FLARPerz zen somezing terrible may happen, neizer could win or perhapz I would neglect to trigger ze Countdown of Duelling and zey won't fight each ozer.
mZ: zO what iz ziz GRAVELY IMPORTANT matter?

[ScionoftheVoid]

=====> Scrap that heap of junk

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Yscton will attempt to creep up right behind the hideous thing before showing it what a true master of the WRENCHKIND strife specibus can do!

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Presumably this'll be a Stealth roll opposed by it's Notice (I'm trying to get into melee range). Do I get a bonus from the light level, and if so how much?

Then I'll be activating Raaaaage! and making an attack. I'll need to know my wrench's damage.

[sournote103]

>Gidrim: Strife!

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Nice! Some local fauna! You were getting hungry, anyway. You leap at the creature, claws at the ready.

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Fighting roll (Accidentally rolled this multiple times trying to get used to the web site. I have not even looked at this latest roll.)
Damage roll

[Science Officer]

=====>

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There is very little time for all this! This session has gone on long enough, but as much as you'd like to jump up and snatch the PRIZE from the cage, it is yet too high above you for that. And if you don't deal with these CHRONOMETRIC-CROCODILIANS soon, they'll push you over the edge before you get that chance.

Though the CONNIVING PLUNDERER class is optimised more for the acquisition of loot than the slaying of foes (the two main-stays of FLARP), you do have some tricksy combative options when backed into a corner (or towards a flaming pit).

You engage the CLANKING BOG-DWELLERS in a bid to buy yourself some time until the gilded cage comes within leaping-distance.

[Zealumieo]

=====>

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So this situation was becoming all kinds of uncomfortable. It had been awhale, something you'd avoided since one other troll was crushed under your own faulty architecture.

38(

You don't think he was lying, even as a figment of her imagination- everything generally enjoyed living. Maybe this was a lesson for yourself, reminding you that killing was easy... especially if it was far away... but it kind of breaks the superior seawoman's vascular system when you're right there. Not that it'd stop you from personally killing something... just that it felt more real when you did it yourself- and the burden, you suppose, shouldn't be callously tossed aside.

"I'm going to set you down in my room." Least you think its yours. Who sleeps in a room that she doesn't own? "Don't run off, I'm going to sea if I can go fish up your camera. Its your job? Right? I think your Polaroid might be broken, so I should make it up to you."

Wasn't like you were going to kill him, he and his race got too much credit from all those badbassic buildings. And it didn't seem to be one of those dreams of Conquest- There would be an army of trolls/drones/warmachines following you if that was the case. Diplomatic? Oh, sadly, none of those practice sessions you had in front of a mirror ever turned out well.

You keep your promise and set him down gingerly in your own room, "If you disappear, run off, or hide by the time I get back I'm going to be supremely cross. So don't." Giving him one last stern goggle glare you fly out and chase after what remains of the DARING INVESTIGATOR'S job materials.

Edit: ((Derpdederpty durr... this is what happens to grammer when you slapdashedly rewrite from third person to first. AUGH THE GRAMMERS. Hopefully fixed))

[Lord Raziere]

=====>Investigate.

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Yes. Probably something like "don't judge a book by its cover".
Well no use letting a good blank journal to go to waste! You'll need a thing to record all the information you find in this place. You take out a pencil. You never run out of pencils. You begin to record:

"Makdan's Golden World Journal.
Entry 1.
I hav3 found mys3lf on a myst3rious gold3n world. W3aring strang3 gold3n cloth3s. Th3 inhabitants 3ith3r only hav3 gold as thi3r only building mati3rial (or what3v3r mat3rial that looks lik3 gold strong 3nough to support all this, I doubt its r3al gold as it would b3 too w3ak to support all this) or poss3ss som3 strang3 vision that only s33s gold as a color and 3v3rything 3ls3 as black and whit3, leading th3m to r3gard th3 color as holy and in high 3st33m and so on.
I hav3 no id3a how I got h3r3. Or why. This n33ds to b3 r3ctifi3d. Also: must think long t3rm if I cannot g3t back to my hiv3 soon. How will I 3at? Drink? What ar3 my chanc3s of survival? Such qu3stions can only be answ3r3d through inv3stigation. Sinc3 th3 books hav3 no information I m3an. Th3 strang3st part of all this is that I do not s33m to b3 imprison3d. I can l3av3 any tim3 I lik3 from this room. Which impli3s that I wasn't kidnapped. Strang3r and Strang3r3r. I admit, I am kind of d3sp3rat3 for som3 information at this point. It is tim3 for the last r3sort: fi3ld inv3stigation!"

You captchalogue your GOLDEN WORLD JOURNAL then float out of the window again. You then start floating in a fast manner downwards, pretending to be a NINJA in free fall. Then you land on the ground…LIKE A NINJA. You float-jump forward to question one of the ivory-white people, also LIKE A NINJA.
You land in front of them and bark:
"You. Inform m3. Wh3r3 am I? Why am I h3r3? Sp3ak."

[lord pringle]

==> Be Pallar Gotrem

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imperiousCommand is pestering allergicGambler

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iC: We fail to see why noses are even necessary
iC: They seem more trouble than they're worth
iC: And upon the subject of troublesome things, must you really transcribe the distortion of your voice?
iC: It is difficult to translate

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imperiousCommand is pestering allergicGambler
AG: We have noses because The Time Lords did and, despite all their evil, they are responsible for most races being bipedial, and shaped like them.
AG:Besides, I feel that by typig isd't that hard to read.
AG: It shows that I'b be.
Ag: Wait, why does your dose seem to be bore trouble thed id's wordh?

[Jacior]

=====>

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You sigh and lean against the wall. This EXHAUSTION is ruining your ability to aim your TELEKINETIC BOLTS. Though it seems the GUARD GUANA has significant enough EXTERNAL PROTECTIVE PLATING to deflect BOLTS if you don't aim right. You decide that perhaps a- Oh SCREW IT. You just want to blast the lizard until it doesn't exist.

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3 Bolts: 3PP 19/25 PP

Rolls: 12, 11, 9

Oh my goodness, that's a good set of rolls. So, this is the prime oppourtunity to tell me how my double-raise headband thing works. Because It makes me utterly confused to try and decipher.

[ThirdEmperor]

=====> Be Jemdas Kitlec

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imperiousCommand is trolling mazterZorcerer

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iC: That everyone does it does not excuse it
iC: Everyone dies too
iC: Do you want to die?
iC: If so, please do remain at your computer tending to your precious clouding duties

=====> Be Yscton Yagmur

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CLANG!

With a mighty ring you brain the worthless HUNK-O-JUNKITRON, bringing your HANDY DANDY WRENCH down upon it's CHROME CRANIUM with FAYGO-FUELED FURY and leaving there a dent that can only be compared to lesser dents in the same sense as comparing a mere ditch to the TROLL GRAND CANYON!

Sparks pour from behind the AUTOMATON's eyes and out it's ears, limbs flailing spasticly for a moment in a DERANGED BREAKDANCE before it collapses to the floor, it's animating spark clearly SNUFFED OUT.

That was easy.

=====> Gidrim Oronet

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You launch yourself upon the TRISQUEALER, landing upon it's back and sinking your WICKED CLAWS into it's BACONINE MEATFATS. Letting loose it's namesake SQUEAL the beast rears up on it's haunches and bucks hard, tossing you HEAD OVER TAILS into a nearby tree.

You hit like a TON OF BRICKS colliding with a TEN-TON TRUCK, knocking the air from your lungs and the cohesive thought from your thinkpan. It's only with great difficulty you manage to stand back up, EARS RINGING with what you suspect to be a MINOR CONCUSSION.

Your SUPRISE ASSAULT was not in vain though; Even through your blurred vision you can see TWO THICK TRAILS OF RED running the beast's sides, leaving it worse from the exchange than you.

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Aaaand that's a double-dose of shaken-central.

=====> Be Tassie Larkan

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Looking ETERNALLY GREATFUL to have arrived back on SOLID GROUND at less than terminal velocities, the DARING INVESTIGATOR nods meekly at your command and sits down in a corner as you leave, thoroughly COWED MUSCLEBEASTED? TERRIFIED.

Floating down into the QUIET VOID between the towering skyscrapers you begin your search for the missing CAMERA, but in truth the odds of finding it are less than slim and closer to MONO-ATOMIC. Although there's not even the faintest of breezes in this STRANGE, DARK CITY to have wafted it astray, with the sheer length of the drop it's own trajectory could have landed it anywhere within a half mile... And in any case, it would not have survived the IMPACT.

But a few more things do come to your attention as you LOOK IN VAIN. First is simply how empty the city is. As many BLACK-SHELLED BEINGS as you saw from your tower, only now that you're close up do you realize how few there really were compared to the size of this place, so many of the TOWERING TOWERS empty except for the furniture, the bridges, streets and byways somehow lonely in their utter DESOLATION.

Second are the strange posters plastered to every wall, written in your own language no less. They range from ancient and yellowed to only a few days old, but each is identicle, bearing the same insignia of an upside-down pentagon with towers sprouting from all sides, and the same slogan;

CROAK THE CROAKER!
YOUR MORALE AND WARTIME SPIRIT ARE HIGHER THAN YOU THINK.
VICTORY IS NEAR.

=====> Be Makdan Beldin

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The ALABASTER-SHELLED BEING halts in it's tracks as you NINJA-LEAP in front of it, blinking slowly and repositioning the heavy MILLSTONE it bears over one shoulder. It 'tis a LARGE creature, towering over you like an PILLAR OF WHITE wrapped in BRIGHTLY-COLORED STREAMERS, eyes and mouth (it lacks any other FACIAL FEATURES) so disproportionately small they seem lost upon the VAST IVORY EXPANSE of it's face, that itself undersized compared to the shoulders on which it sits.

It takes several tries for the LUMBERING HULK to answer, holding up a lone finger for silence as it mulls the question over. Several tomes it opens it's mouth, only to decide against whatever reply it was considering, until finally it says simply; "Prospit. 'cause." And then it continues on, slowly plodding towards it's goal in the tower opposite.

=====> Pallar Gotrem

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imperiousCommand is pestering allergicGambler

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iC: Our nose is not the issue here
iC: We shall entertain no further questions upon the topic
iC: But fear not
iC: Welcome news is on it's way
iC: We believe you requested tissues?

=====> Be Irvekt Dirmin

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This time the beast simply cannot weather the onslaught, three well-placed shots slamming into it in rapid succession; The first striking it's gut and bringing it to the ground, the second it's tail, forestalling another strike, and the third snapping it's neck. The GUARD 'GUANA twitches it's legs, the. falls still.

Triggered by this a FANFARE sounds, shiny brass trumpets playing out a a triumphant fanfare as confetti wafts down from the ceiling and twin rows of BLUE FIRE blossom into existence at your feet, spelling out the road ahead, towards your WAITING VICTORY.

The moment is somewhat hampered by the loud BEEP informing you that one of your FRIENDS is trying to troll you.

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Basically, if you beat the goal by four or more you get a bonus, like a critical. In the case of Bolt, you get an extra 1d6 damage. That's a raise. Getting up to two raises means that if you beat the goal by eight, you get a bonus of 2d6 instead of 1. Useful for someone with maxed psionics.

[sournote103]

=====>

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Well. That may not have been the best idea. But there's no going back now.

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Free vigor roll
Normal vigor roll
Fighting roll, if I can act
Damage, if applicable

[Zealumieo]

=====>

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You look upon the posters with bemusement. You know the word for that... pagerama? propetizing? Oh! Propaganda! It takes you a couple of tries but it comes to you after you have seen the thing several dozen times. First line was odd... Croaker? She wasn't looking forward to imagining these CARAPACIAN peoples fight some humanoid frogmen like from Pallar's Vids. They... could've done a better part about the second sentence. Better then you think? What the Unspeakable Deeps? Such ambiguity related to the passion of war even left her with a distaste in her mouth... and she didn't even know who exactly it was with! Well the last seaction was fine, no complaints- at they least they know how to end on a strong note.

You sigh, the afterfact that you still can't calculate trajectories for your life nor rely on any supernatural akin luck seems to apply even in your dreams. Already you can tell diplomasea was already headed down one set of tubers. You aren't blind, you saw how he looked at you. What was even more glubbing seasicking was if you even hint that the way people cringe and run away from you makes you upset- somehow makes them more cringy and terrified.

Looking around, lots of empty space relative to living tenants wasn't new. Reminded you of home, and you supposed it was easy to sneak here. Without much else to do (and not wanting to bump and cow anymore people by accident) you fly back up to your tower...

You take a short detour to sit at the highest point allowed. If there was one thing you've conquered easily in real life, it was any fear of heights. There was nothing like the pleasure of sitting on top, literally, looking far into the distance and feeling bigger then everything else. Yes, there were some Royal Indulgences you actually went through. Some... not so much as of late. Bullying, Culling, Demanding, Destroying, Dominating, Enslaving, Executing... Well the list could go on and on of the less then savory actions (to you) you were entitled to as a future Queen. This one activity never makes you feel like carp.

You return without much fanfare on your part, "No luck, I couldn't find it. I suppose its an obligation of mine to make it up to you. I'll let you interview me if you answer a couple of questions in return. Not to sound overly selfcentered, but the only reason you'd climb dangerously to this height was if there was something to sea, right? I'll forgive the pajama photos because apparently I obliterated the guilty inanimate party."

[ScionoftheVoid]

=====>

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Yscton will tend to his children and see to it that none are significantly harmed, then proceed to comb through his hive seeking more of the rust-blighted demons. And any he finds? He'll tear limb from pathetically twitching limb.

[Lord Raziere]

=====> Acquire anime-esque vein of anger upon forehead.

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You have acquired one ANIME-ESQUE VEIN OF ANGER UPON YOUR FOREHEAD. You are simply feeling so much anger that you imitate your favorite ninja manga books in the process. Such monosyllabic one-word answers will not get you anywhere. Furthermore you are angry at how that brute was perpetuating the "big but stupid" cliche you see so much in your more entertaining books!
At least you know the name of this place. Prospit. Do you remember reading any books on a place named "Prospit"? You do not think so, or at least your memory doesn't think so. But then again, there is a lot of books in your library. It is very possible that its one of the ones that you haven't read yet. You may be a bookworm, but you haven't read EVERYTHING.
You captchalogue your ANIME-ESQUE VEIN OF ANGER, with how uninformative things are being today, you'll likely use this again later.

You start NINJA-LEAPING from Ivory person to ivory person, repeating the questions in the exact same manner over and over again until you get a different, hopefully more complex and informative, answer from someone.

[Jacior]

=====>

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You grin, your FANG FILLED GRIMACE showing not RELIEF or HAPPY SURPRISE, but the COLD CONFIDENCE of SHEER SKILL and AWESOME POWER. The FANFARE was INNAPROPRIATELY INTERRUPTED by the sound of TROLLIAN trying to catch your attention. You debate momentarily as to whether or not you should check it or PRESS ONWARD and claim victory before ETAOIN has the chance.

You reluctantly check who's bothering you at this important juncture.

[Science Officer]

=====>

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There is very little time for all this! This session has gone on long enough, but as much as you'd like to jump up and snatch the PRIZE from the cage, it is yet too high above you for that. And if you don't deal with these CHRONOMETRIC-CROCODILIANS soon, they'll push you over the edge before you get that chance.

Though the CONNIVING PLUNDERER class is optimised more for the acquisition of loot than the slaying of foes (the two main-stays of FLARP), you do have some tricksy combative options when backed into a corner (or towards a flaming pit).

You engage the CLANKING BOG-DWELLERS in a bid to buy yourself some time until the gilded cage comes within leaping-distance.

=====>

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That was a terrible idea. There's no room to maneuver on this platform. These automatic archosaurs just will not respect your personal space. Looks like you'll just have to give these clock-crocs some cracks with your flail. The time-pieces on their chests are the obvious target.