I want to ride a dead horse

[Joe Eskimo]

An undead warhorse. How do I acquire one wihout having access to animate dead? Can an ordinary fighter ride and control one? Control is important.

I'm looking for the easiest, cheapest, quickest way.

[WeaselGuy]

The Bone Knight gets you...

Summon Skeletal Steed (Sp): At 2nd level, you gain the services of a skeletal steed: a heavy warhorse with the skeleton template applied (or a war pony with the skeleton template applied for Small bone knights). You may call this steed in the same fashion as a paladin whose level equals your paladin level plus your bone knight level, and the steed gains the same special abilities as a paladin's special mount at the same effective level.

A skeletal steed cannot be turned while its bone knight master rides it.

You can get that by level 7 as either a Paladin 5/Bone Knight 2 or as Cleric 1/Whatever with full BAB 4/Bone Knight 2

[lytokk]

Take ranks in Craft(taxidermy), nail wheels into its hooves, get your standard issue 50ft rope, tie it to a living horse, and ride away. Remarkably easy to control too.

[Joe Eskimo]

Any other answers? Is there an item that grants command undead?

[Vaz]

Control Undead is a 7th level spell, so unlikely to be early enough to use effectively.

You can also request a caster for a scroll of create undead (6th level spell) of sufficient caster level to create a Bone Creature (BoVD) or Corpse Creature (BoVD too) to create either a skeletal or gooey horse to ride. It's intelligent, so can understand orders as well as a normal horse can - you just need to use Handle Animal with a +5 to DC to do so.

[JeminiZero]

Night Caller is a whistle from Libris Mortis pg 79, that lets you animate up to 2 zombies under your control. Costs 7000 gp.

[Dunsparce]

I have to second Bone Knight. The steed advances as a special mount, and stacks with any paladin levels you have. I play a Fallen Paladin 10/Bone Knight 8 in one campaign. Not the most optimal build, but it's fun.

The Bone Knight gets some unique undead-based abilities as well that helps fit with the whole undead shtick, as well as having most of the Paladin class skills without being bound to a code if you have fallen paladin levels.

[Segev]

Undead Leadership lets you get skeletons and zombies as followers and even cohorts. A warhorse is a perfectly valid target for the skeleton template. I don't recommend zombie, because it only gets one move or one standard action per round and cannot run.

[Darrin]

Shape Soulmeld: Necrocarnum Circlet + Open Least Chakra: Crown would let you animate a dead horse as a necrocarnum zombie.

[Talya]

You need to race the dead horse, and do it badly.

Because then all the other jockeys would be beating a dead horse.

[Kudaku]

Please name the dead horse "why can't you see monk are awesome" or "this is Lawful, right?" and beat it mercilessly whenever you're astride it.

[Bronk]

You could get a 'clockwork steed' from MM4 and have it made to look like a skeletal horse...

[Hecuba]

An undead warhorse. How do I acquire one wihout having access to animate dead? Can an ordinary fighter ride and control one? Control is important.

I'm looking for the easiest, cheapest, quickest way.

Undead leadership and a Pegasus with the bone creature template as a cohort.

You could also go with a Unicorn (or Black Unicorn) using the same.

Cut of wings or horn to taste.

Edit: Much to my eternal shame, I feel compelled to add a reference to a particular MTG card and a particular Dilbert comic.
Could there be a fouler act? No doubt the Baron knows of one.

[enderlord99]

My advice is to not do what Michael Jackson tells you.

EDIT: Sius already de that joke, and better. Oh well...

[weckar]

I think the dread animal rules (and the undead companion feat that requires it) in Ravenloft cover this. It's debatable at what tables those rules will be allowed outside that setting, though.

[Fouredged Sword]

A decent UMD roll and an eternal wand of command undead will get you unlimited control over 6 undead creatures of any HD, so long as they are mindless.

[rg9000]

My advice is to not do what Michael Jackson tells you.

Or what "Weird Al" tells you to do

[No brains]

Just beware the LM has specific rules for an undead mount. For example, Spurring it doesn't work anymore.

[Bloodgruve]

Warlock has an Animate Dead invocation but you're looking at 6th level. This is unlimited however so you could end up with a team of undead horses pulling your wagon around. But.. this is not available to a Fighter.

Blood~

[Endril]

I was thinking imbue with spell ability, but that doesn't work on level 3 necromancy spells. Someone already made a cheaper suggestion, but ring of spell storing (minor) comes to mind. It's 18,000, but after you use it to animate dead, you'll have a pretty sweet ring that can keep storing spells.

[Endril]

I've also seen some people suggest UMD or a level in Cleric. If you have either of those, you could just use a scroll of animate dead. Either way, even if you don't want to have animate dead as a class ability, it's the easiest way to make undead that you'll control.

[Joe Eskimo]

Bone Knights are awesome. Went with this. Thanks for all the input. 👍

[TechnoWarforged]

But if someone is attacking your ride, aren't then....

Beating a dead horse?

[Coidzor]

Night Caller is a whistle from Libris Mortis pg 79, that lets you animate up to 2 zombies under your control. Costs 7000 gp.

Best of all, you can share the whistle with the rest of the party so everyone can have two zombies each, even if all y'all use 'em for is luggage transportation/flying mounts for long distance travel.

I think the dread animal rules (and the undead companion feat that requires it) in Ravenloft cover this. It's debatable at what tables those rules will be allowed outside that setting, though.

What's the source or what are the sources on that?

[enderlord99]

But if someone is attacking your ride, aren't then....

Beating a dead horse?

...You're the fourth person to make that joke.

I suppose it has been changed from a mere pun to a self-referential pun!

[Vaz]

You could say, they are beating a dead horse, enderlord99.

[enderlord99]

You could say, they are beating a dead horse, enderlord99.

...That's what makes it self-referential, yes.

[No brains]

You need to race the dead horse, and do it badly.

Because then all the other jockeys would be beating a dead horse.

If we go by this interpretation, then the beating the dead horse becomes the running joke. Usually this happens the other way around.

[atemu1234]

Undead Leadership lets you get skeletons and zombies as followers and even cohorts. A warhorse is a perfectly valid target for the skeleton template. I don't recommend zombie, because it only gets one move or one standard action per round and cannot run.

Not to mention that the smell tends to linger something awful on your riding trousers.