GitP Regulars as Elder Evils!

[Marlowe]

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[Tvtyrant]

Hmm, good point. What if they come in with 10 spells already cast, one of each spell level? Personal range only, and can include time stop?

[Extra Anchovies]

Hmm, good point. What if they come in with 10 spells already cast, one of each spell level? Personal range only, and can include time stop?

Now that feels like a bit much. Maybe they're ethereal for 1d4 rounds to give the party some time to clean up the living spells, and use those rounds to buff themselves? Also rewards parties with members who can go ethereal on demand.

[Zaydos]

I now really want to write a D&D setting that includes all these deities and various awesome homebrews. Great job everyone. That's why I love this forum, when we're not arguing over alignment everyone here is so creative and imaginative.

My alignment is Lawful Peanut. Lawful Peanut is the best alignment, and allows me to do anything I want for shinies

I now want to make a legume axis... or some sort of food axis... curses skeletor!

-snip the long self conversation-

I hate every single official Elder Evil. I think the stuff in this thread is probably a better base at this point

Also what did your name mean again?

[Marlowe]

Also what did your name mean again?

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[Zaydos]

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Great fodder for an Elder Evil, though. Makes me think of a Lovecraftian Ancient One the most chronologically (and completely un-mythos related) one to make it into Arkham Horror iirc from what my little brother has said (I am D&D/Magic he is video games and Arkham Horror). Something about this ancient alien which crashed into a lake and... actually should make me think of the Color Out of Space where they 'killed' it by draining the lake and possibly made things worse.

I have ideas percolating in my head... and making you Red Fel's daughter would be bad and wrong.

[Bad Wolf]

Hmm...Atropus arrives, begins orbiting the planet. Due to unfortunate timing, ragnorra crashes into the moonlet. They fight each other for eternity, the positive and negative energy fluxes cancel out, and everybody just shrugs and goes on with their lives.

For some reason, I find that funny.

[NeoPhoenix0]

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*snip*

Hey, even people who don't need sleep, need a coffee every now and again. You try sitting through LP's extra lessons some time. Though it would be odd for Asmodeus to go to a Starbucks. That kind of place is more up Graz'zt's ally.

[Zaydos]

I am now thinking about the time the party ran into the BBEG in an inn. A magical inn which the gods used as a truce site, but an inn. He was having a drink. I don't think I detailed what the ulitharid was drinking, though. He had a friendly chat with one of them. It was weird and beloved.

Actually I pulled that again with a one-eyed evil tiger/rakshasha/pirate god. He ended up losing a drinking contest with the PC... who was godling of travel and alcoholism. He gave him some sort of vision related blessing for winning. The PC repayed the favor by blessing the rakshasha's liver when he died. Possibly winning things for the... um... Bigger but not Biggest Bad Evil Guy in the campaign.

[Marlowe]

Hey, even people who don't need sleep, need a coffee every now and again. You try sitting through LP's extra lessons some time. Though it would be odd for Asmodeus to go to a Starbucks. That kind of place is more up Graz'zt's ally.

Spoiler: ...some people...

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[Socratov]

Hey, even people who don't need sleep, need a coffee every now and again. You try sitting through LP's extra lessons some time. Though it would be odd for Asmodeus to go to a Starbucks. That kind of place is more up Graz'zt's ally.

Asmodeus is obviously too hipster to use Starbucks. He'll have found a local shop which roast their beans themselves and then brews Asmodeus a nice cup of cappuccino.

I am now thinking about the time the party ran into the BBEG in an inn. A magical inn which the gods used as a truce site, but an inn. He was having a drink. I don't think I detailed what the ulitharid was drinking, though. He had a friendly chat with one of them. It was weird and beloved.

Actually I pulled that again with a one-eyed evil tiger/rakshasha/pirate god. He ended up losing a drinking contest with the PC... who was godling of travel and alcoholism. He gave him some sort of vision related blessing for winning. The PC repayed the favor by blessing the rakshasha's liver when he died. Possibly winning things for the... um... Bigger but not Biggest Bad Evil Guy in the campaign.

I know of one such bar in fantasy: Goodfellows, as imagined by Simon R Green.

Spoiler: ...some people...

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[snipsnip]

Seems entirely reasonable... Imean, that will teach people to not bother her before her first coffee.

[NeoPhoenix0]

Spoiler: ...some people...

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Eh, I'm more concerned about the effort or lack of effort put into pulling the colony down. If you are going to end the lives of millions and millions of people because someone bothered you before coffee, you should do it right.

[Marlowe]

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[Zaydos]

I know of one such bar in fantasy: Goodfellows, as imagined by Simon R Green.

I'd heard of one in Poul Anderson's works which was where I got the idea, though I have yet to read the book with it. D&D has one too (World Serpent Inn), probably inspired by Poul Anderson (I mean they took trolls and alignments from one of his novels, and Gygax admitted to drawing inspiration from his works so).

Mine is the Three Boars. Barkeeps have included: one-eyed former king's guard from the city of Invern (original, non-magical incarnation), a one-eyed druid who was not quite immortal but there'd only been 3 barkeeps in 10,000 years and all were human (2nd incarnation where it was made by a... god formed from 4 great heroes and an elder god), Odin (3rd incarnation where it was a reflection of the 2nd incarnation in a weird world that should not have been), and person suspected of being Odin who was not Odin despite having a pair of raven familiars and one-eye and being implied to be a god-like entity (4th incarnation which explicitly existed in the Far Realm).

Edit:

Also sometimes evil is upset because they didn't get their breakfast tea. Or you used the wrong sort of sugar.



This is what happens when a peanut dragon doesn't get his tea.

[Marlowe]

Edit:

Also sometimes evil is upset because they didn't get their breakfast tea. Or you used the wrong sort of sugar.



This is what happens when a peanut dragon doesn't get his tea.

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[Socratov]

I'd heard of one in Poul Anderson's works which was where I got the idea, though I have yet to read the book with it. D&D has one too (World Serpent Inn), probably inspired by Poul Anderson (I mean they took trolls and alignments from one of his novels, and Gygax admitted to drawing inspiration from his works so).

Mine is the Three Boars. Barkeeps have included: one-eyed former king's guard from the city of Invern (original, non-magical incarnation), a one-eyed druid who was not quite immortal but there'd only been 3 barkeeps in 10,000 years and all were human (2nd incarnation where it was made by a... god formed from 4 great heroes and an elder god), Odin (3rd incarnation where it was a reflection of the 2nd incarnation in a weird world that should not have been), and person suspected of being Odin who was not Odin despite having a pair of raven familiars and one-eye and being implied to be a god-like entity (4th incarnation which explicitly existed in the Far Realm).

Goodfellows is the primordial bar in a weird sort of plane of existence where it's always 3 hours past midnight. It's bartenders are direct descendants from Merlin Satanspawn and cursed to remain there as bartenders until someone form the family releases them. It's patrons range from demons, to aliens, to monsters that wouldn't be out of place in a novel by Lovecraft. Peace is kept by means of blessed Cricketbat, shotgun and 2 security personnell. It has been agreed upon that keeping the peace in that bar is the sensible thing to do. You shoudl try Something form the Nightside by Simon R. Green. Quite entertaining stories.

Edit:

Also sometimes evil is upset because they didn't get their breakfast tea. Or you used the wrong sort of sugar.



This is what happens when a peanut dragon doesn't get his tea.

Oh, that is cute. You should try to pour me the wrong whisk(e)y or serve it the wrong way. Death and/or summary destruction will be the least of your problems.

[IZ42]

I'm Now imagining each and every one of the elder Evils in this thread all sitting in one bar musing over their own drinks or quietly playing cards or something. I'm not sure if that's hilarious or terrifying.

[WeaselGuy]

I'm Now imagining each and every one of the elder Evils in this thread all sitting in one bar musing over their own drinks or quietly playing cards or something. I'm not sure if that's hilarious or terrifying.

It'll be more hilariously terrifying when you consider all of the deities from the previous thread could be there too.

[Marlowe]

I'd heard of one in Poul Anderson's works which was where I got the idea, though I have yet to read the book with it.

Missed this. Book is "A Midsummer Tempest." It isn't bad. It has a host of bizarre anachronistic ideas sort of wedged in all at once. It's set during the English Civil War, but an English Civil War set during an industrial revolution and in a world where everything Shakespeare wrote was literally true. Including the stuff about fairies. And where there's easy-to-stumble into gateways into other literary-inspired worlds that are even more anachronistic.

I read it years ago and loved it. Reading it more recently it seemed a little hectic, like it throws up a few too many ideas a bit too quickly. I think we've got rather more sedate tastes in Fantasy and Science Fiction these days than what flew in the 60s and early 70s.

[LoyalPaladin]

Hoo boy I missed a lot. Time to get started. *cracks knuckles*

Bad timing LP.

Like I always say."Duty before booty." Only half applicable here. But hey, it's my job to remember things. Not perma-permissions though.

Right?

Yeah...

Boy this thread is really getting away from me. Expect a new one soon. Archetypes, PrCs or Dragons? Who knows?

Well that was short lived. If everyone is up for a commitment, PrCs would be sweet. Elric would prefer not to do Archetypes, even though he'd be good at them.

I can take another crack at these tomorrow. Hurray for days off!

I expect you to breathe life back into this thread's motivation.

I am now tempted to return to my original avatar.

What the... Zaydos?! Is that you?!

Figures. This is exactly why perma-permission is a thing. *pouts and walks away sobbing*

*looks at you all like a disgusted sixteen year old girl and runs after Threadnaught*

Asmodeus is obviously too hipster to use Starbucks. He'll have found a local shop which roast their beans themselves and then brews Asmodeus a nice cup of cappuccino.

Nice bloke really. Showed me some neat coffee shops.

It'll be more hilariously terrifying when you consider all of the deities from the previous thread could be there too.

What happens in Sigil, stays in Sigil.

[Zaydos]

Goodfellows is the primordial bar in a weird sort of plane of existence where it's always 3 hours past midnight. It's bartenders are direct descendants from Merlin Satanspawn and cursed to remain there as bartenders until someone form the family releases them. It's patrons range from demons, to aliens, to monsters that wouldn't be out of place in a novel by Lovecraft. Peace is kept by means of blessed Cricketbat, shotgun and 2 security personnell. It has been agreed upon that keeping the peace in that bar is the sensible thing to do. You shoudl try Something form the Nightside by Simon R. Green. Quite entertaining stories.

Oh, that is cute. You should try to pour me the wrong whisk(e)y or serve it the wrong way. Death and/or summary destruction will be the least of your problems.

Probably should, I do like the reference to Merlin being a Cambion.

I'm Now imagining each and every one of the elder Evils in this thread all sitting in one bar musing over their own drinks or quietly playing cards or something. I'm not sure if that's hilarious or terrifying.

You know what this means I must do...

Missed this. Book is "A Midsummer Tempest." It isn't bad. It has a host of bizarre anachronistic ideas sort of wedged in all at once. It's set during the English Civil War, but an English Civil War set during an industrial revolution and in a world where everything Shakespeare wrote was literally true. Including the stuff about fairies. And where there's easy-to-stumble into gateways into other literary-inspired worlds that are even more anachronistic.

I read it years ago and loved it. Reading it more recently it seemed a little hectic, like it throws up a few too many ideas a bit too quickly. I think we've got rather more sedate tastes in Fantasy and Science Fiction these days than what flew in the 60s and early 70s.

Poul Anderson is fun, he's just unfortunately hard to find at times. Had to hunt for Three Hearts and Three Lions and finally settled on an ebook.

What the... Zaydos?! Is that you?!

[Elricaltovilla]

Well that was short lived. If everyone is up for a commitment, PrCs would be sweet. Elric would prefer not to do Archetypes, even though he'd be good at them.

I'm just not going to write any. I'll still give my permission since, frankly, I've earned it.

I expect you to breathe life back into this thread's motivation.

I'll do my best. I'm only one guy though. An awesome guy, but there's still only one* of me.

*Any rumors of me being comprised of an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters and an infinite amount of time to write my responses are patently untrue.

*looks at you all like a disgusted sixteen year old girl and runs after Threadnaught*

Called it! Snowbluff, you owe me a dollar!

[Snowbluff]

Called it! Snowbluff, you owe me a dollar!

What? When did this happen?! I don't want to give up my only human currency. D:

[Red Fel]

Ugh, I waited too long to do Elric's. In any event, it was done better than I had planned, so that worked out pretty well for procrastination. I should still try to do a few more, just because reasons...

In any event, you thought I would get back on topic, but it was me, Dio Fel!

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What's wrong with this picture? I'll tell you. Az doesn't drink lattes; he prefers a venti double mocha with an espresso shot. And he tips reasonably.

Hey, even people who don't need sleep, need a coffee every now and again. You try sitting through LP's extra lessons some time. Though it would be odd for Asmodeus to go to a Starbucks. That kind of place is more up Graz'zt's ally.

No. No no no. Grazzle doesn't go to Starbucks. He orders coffee at a bar. Just to be a jerk.

Asmodeus is obviously too hipster to use Starbucks. He'll have found a local shop which roast their beans themselves and then brews Asmodeus a nice cup of cappuccino.

That reminds me of the time me and the old gang wandered around Greenwich Village, popping into ironically trendy coffee houses, scaring the locals, sampling the local brews, and then damning the souls of those who failed to recognize quality bean.

Starbucks may be overpriced, but it's consistent. Az likes consistency.

Nice bloke really. Showed me some neat coffee shops.

Been over this before, LP. We don't have coffee with the enemy. That's a revolting concept.

That's what tea is for.

[LoyalPaladin]

Hey, even people who don't need sleep, need a coffee every now and again.

Oh yeah I totally underst-

You try sitting through LP's extra lessons some time.

That was far creepier than expected. I almost felt that through my Aura of Courage...

I'm just not going to write any. I'll still give my permission since, frankly, I've earned it.

But you'd be so good at it! D:

Called it! Snowbluff, you owe me a dollar!

What? When did this happen?! I don't want to give up my only human currency. D:

Wait, what happened here?

No. No no no. Grazzle doesn't go to Starbucks. He orders coffee at a bar. Just to be a jerk.

Yeah... I can't stand that guy.

Been over this before, LP. We don't have coffee with the enemy. That's a revolting concept.

That's what tea is for.

If it makes you feel any better, I was on a mission from Torm and we were negotiating the transfer of some petitioners that neither of us really wanted.

[Elricaltovilla]

Permission granted.

Zadydos, the Ameliorater

As any dragon knows, the true and perfect form of life is the dragon. This is obvious. Most dragons were content to lord their superiority over others, basking in the worship and fear of lesser races. But Zadydos (Kn. Arcana DC 25), an ancient gold dragon and one of the eldest of his kind, felt great sorrow at the plight of lesser creatures. They could never benefit from the protections of a dragon's mighty scales, the strength of their great claws or the pure, elemental power of their breath. These mortal races, poor beings that they were, could never protect themselves from the vile and dangerous world around them. At first, Zadydos spent many years breeding mortal champions, half dragon children who could protect the lesser races from the dangerous world around them. But it wasn't enough, his children were killed by other, true dragons, and the mortals they protected enslaved once more. To make matters worse, he was banished from contact with his kin for the sin of laying with mortalkind (Kn. Arcana DC 30).

In his lonliness, Zadydos dove further into more and more insane experiments, seeking to improve mortal form that they might better defend themselves. He kidnapped mortal children and infused them with his blood and scales, releasing them back to their homes if they survived. He bred mortals in vast stockades, hoping to improve their form through careful selective breeding. He experimented with golems, magical transformation, thaumaturgy, summoning, and intense training regimens, but all to no avail (Kn. Arcana DC 35). Eventually, long before he even realized how far he'd fallen, a hero rose up to challenge him. One of the many poor mortals subjected to his vile experiments, this mortal fought the mighty Zadydos for days before finally slaying him (Kn. History DC 35). Though many thought this would be the end of the mad gold wyrm, to Zadydos, it was proof that he was correct. Only through his interventions could life survive. His spirit left his body, but not the world. He bided his time, ready to return and complete his work.

Goals:

All things are imperfect. This is unacceptable. You will be upgraded into better, stronger forms.

Sign:
The Scaling of the World
Earth becomes hard and unyielding, like dragonscales. Mortals become infused with power and monstrous forms. Dragons lose their minds and rampage across the world.

Effects:
Faint: The earth becomes harder and harder to till, crops begin to fail as they can no longer take root. Slowly, the rocks begin to take on the properties of dragon's scales.
Moderate: Non-draconic creatures gain a +2 bonus to Strength and Constitution, as well as low-light vision. Their forms begin to visually change, growing colored scales and sharper fangs. Dragons take notice and begin to panic.
Strong: Non-Draconic creatures must succeed on a Will Save (DC 29) or spontaneously gain the Half-Dragon template (even if they would not normally qualify), the sudden shift in form causes the creature to take 2d6 points of CON Drain. Dragons and creatures that were already half-dragons become highly aggressive, dragon attacks are exceptionally frequent as they try to cull the spread of Zadydos's transformations. Zadydos himself manifests.
Overwhelming: All non-draconic creatures gain the Half-Dragon Template (even if they would not normally qualify). Dragons declare an all out war on mortal kind.

Malefic Property:
In addition to the normal malefic property common to all Elder Evils, Zadydos has Infinite Improvement Device.

Infinite Improvement Device: As a standard action, Zadydos can paralyze one creature with the half dragon template within 500 ft for one minute. This creature can succeed on a Will Save (DC 38) to negate this effect, a successful save renders the creature immune to the effect for 24 hours. Any creature paralyzed by Zadydos's Infinite Improvement Device then has one random template applied to them (even if they would not normally qualify for this template), and takes 1d4 points of Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma drain. If a creature's intelligence, wisdom or charisma are reduced to 0 by this effect, it becomes fully under the mental control of Zadydos, who can actively control such creatures out to a distance of 10 miles.

Traits/Tactics/Etc
Though Zadydos possesses all the traits of an elder evil, he manifests as a Ghostly Giant Advanced (x2) Great Wyrm Gold Dragon with maximum hit points for his HD. Defeating this form causes Zadydos to flee, as he is satisfied that his improvements have made the creatures of the world strong enough to survive, for now.

[Elricaltovilla]

Ugh, I waited too long to do Elric's. In any event, it was done better than I had planned, so that worked out pretty well for procrastination. I should still try to do a few more, just because reasons...

You can still write it Red Fel. Psybomb's gonna write me one too, so that'd put me at 3, making me the evilest one here

[Zaydos]

Zadydos, the Ameliorater

-snip-

I now feel almost like I wasted that last Palpatine gif...



I am pleased.

[Elricaltovilla]

I'm glad you like it. I thought it might be fitting.

[LoyalPaladin]

You can still write it Red Fel. Psybomb's gonna write me one too, so that'd put me at 3, making me the evilest one here

Snow has three I think. But who's scared of a couple Tsunderes?

I now feel almost like I wasted that last Palpatine gif...

*shudder*