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  1. - Top - End - #721
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    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    More musings

    Spoiler: Swift end
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    I'm a sucker for marking mechanics
    You could probably reduce it to just a "When you roll initiative" to cut down on the size. Perma-dodge seems too good against single boss monsters- I could see something like "whenever an ally uses the dodge action they can make a single attack or cast a cantrip as a bonus action. Cantrips used this way must have a casting time of 1 action and must target only that creature."

    Follow with Haste - probably should be renamed because Haste is a known quantity in 5e. There doesn't need to be a duration on this, and it should read rounded up to the nearest 5 feet.

    Danger at the Fore is awesome

    The end brought about is... odd. I like how it fits with the theme, but "you might punch your allies to death" isn't a great effect. The ability to dash around to bring someone back from the brink once per short/long rest is pretty cool all by itself




    Spoiler: The Marshal
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    Tactical Awareness may be a bit broken - It's effectively a Rary's Telepathic bond, a 5th level spell, but for a single 1st level spell slot, and longer as you scale up. Sharing ALL skill modifiers sounds like a pain. However, there are some fairly easy fixes for these. I'd limit the communication to the Message cantrip which everyone learns as part of this ability, and have the Marshall allow others to use SOME of his/her modifiers - either "everything this ranger is proficient in" or specific ranger-y things like Athletics, Stealth, Nature & Perception.

    Flanking tactics are cool, but I'd choose one - either use an action to designate OR designate via missing the target. I'd lean towards missing the target, as it gives that flanking/distracting flavor

    Strategic regroup is cool, but 10 minutes is too long. Even with you lengthening the PA effect to 1 hour per level, I doubt most rangers are going to use their precious few spell slots on it. Just make this a reaction and have it refresh on S/L rest OR refresh every time you use PA.

    Stalker veteran is neat

    Marshal's command Seems cool, but it's normally a 15th level, not 14 feature. We're running into the "cast spells after spending slots on PA"... You only have 12 spell slots at 15 - how many are you expecting the ranger to use for PA? Also, the 15th level feature for Rangers tends to utilize the Reaction in some way (except the strange Primeval Guardian UA)


    Spoiler: Savage Leader
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    Undaunted Horde Seems really strong - being immune to charms/frighten is what a 'Zerker gets at 6 for themselves, and you're making it aoe at 3.

    I could see something about your blows make targets less frightening and/or charming each time you hit. That'd be focused enough it wouldn't be OP.

    Reckless frenzy will fundamentally change how encounters work, as you're giving all of the rogue and champions advantage for (almost) free, in addition to breaking the action economy with reaction strikes. Most single monsters likely won't survive this. I'd want this to have some sort of cooldown or limiter, because otherwise it's just unlimited melee-only faerie fire.

    Imposing leader and War Cry are fine
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  2. - Top - End - #722
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    I have made changes to College of the Pied Piper as follows:

    Base range for Charming Song is 60 feet. Creatures that are injured get the new saving throw at advantage and if they succeed they become immune to the effects so long as immediate threats to life and limb remain (such as hostile creatures).

    I let them learn more musical instruments.

    I added a second use of Charming Song per long rest at 6th level.

    Multi-group targeting removed.

    Added Song of Rage to let the Bard whip a crowd (or their allies) into a Barbarian-like frenzy. Either/or with Charming Song (i.e. using either depletes Charming Song uses).

    New 14th level feature: Disadvantage on saves versus expertise musical instrument moved here. Regain one use of Charming Song after a short rest.


    Review of other subclasses:

    Spoiler: Oath of Royalty
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    An interesting paladin class to be sure, but in addition to needing some lore there's a few things I'm not wild about.

    King's Touch recharging full Lay on Hands after a short rest. Maybe up to half of the maximum Lay on Hands pool instead?

    Divine Right looks way different from most Paladin capstones, which are 1-minute transformations. Some of the effects, like at-will Command, are potentially broken without that time limit.


    Spoiler: Vestige's Disciples
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    As it stands right now, it is extremely incomplete with only an expanded spell list and a 1st-level feature.

    Disciples of the Forgotten sounds like an interesting concept, but the way it's presented makes it sound very lackluster. I honestly don't think I'd want generic villain mooks following me around hanging on my every word.


    Spoiler: Domain of Middle Management
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    I got a chuckle out of this, but the wording and language needs to be cleaned up a bit.

    Having an extra Channel Divinity option at 6th level is a bit different, but it sound interesting.

    Overall, it's funny and interesting but I can't say I love it.


    Spoiler: School of Grey Tactics
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    Rallying Spell is really restrictive in its wording. Needlessly so in my opinion. Maybe change it to 'When you cast a spell using a spell slot of 1st level or higher, you may take the Help action as a bonus action to assist any ally withing 30 feet of you.

    Battle Secrets: Some of these are interesting, but some others are confusing and others are just not worth it (Insightful Defense in particular I'd advise changing to AC of 10 + Dexterity modifier + Intelligence modifier when not wearing armor). Language in general needs to be cleaned up and made clearer. The ones that grant Expertise need the prerequisite of having proficiency in the relevant skill. I'd also rearrange these to be in alphabetical order to make browsing them easier.

    Arcane Inspiration does not seem to have a limit on how many times it can be used (other than your number of spell slots). It should have a harder limit.

    Chromatic Metamorphosis... What? ...I'm sorry, but no. This is way too confusingly worded and what little I can understand is too restrictive in its use. I'd advise getting rid of this entirely and just adding in something that grants more battle secrets and/or improves Arcane Inspiration.


    Spoiler: Way of the Swift End
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    Follow, With Haste - I dislike the way this seems to penalize allies for rolling higher than you on initiative.

    Danger at the Fore - Move the text about usage and recharge to the end of the feature.

    The End Brought About - Risky. The penalty for missing makes me want to avoid using this, but the thought of punching someone back to life is amusing.


    Spoiler: The Marshal
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    I have to say, I love the way this makes use of the Primeval Awareness feature and buffs it to a point that I'd honestly consider using it not only regularly but as a mainstay of a Ranger. Can't say it's my favorite subclass here, but it's definitely a solid contender.


    Spoiler: Savage Leader
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    Needs some lore badly.

    Undaunted Horde - Confusingly worded and has a lot of moving parts to it.

    Reckless Frenzy - Also confusingly worded.

    Imposing Leader - 10th level is really late to be getting a new proficiency. I'd just give advantage and allow Intimidation to replace Persuasion.

    War Cry seems fairly solid though.

    Honestly, this whole archetype could use a revamp. Maybe make it so that when you rage you can grant allies within range of you certain benefits of your rage with those benefits increasing as the archetype progresses?


    Spoiler: Path of the War Chief
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    Archetype needs lore badly.

    The Lone Wolf Dies - Solid feature.

    Top Dog - I'd advise possibly replacing the Charisma Saving throw with a Wisdom (Insight) check against your passive Intimidation. I'd also add a sentence at the end stating that this feature does not prevent creatures from joining combat once it has begun, only that it stops them from starting combat.

    The Pack Survives - I'd remove the part about a creature needing to have advantage on an attack roll against you. Just them being within 5 feet of you should be enough to impose disadvantage on attacking anyone other than you.

    War Howl - Awesome. Don't change a thing.


    Spoiler: The Warlord
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    Archetype needs lore badly.

    Master Tactician - Change 'proficiency in Initiative' to 'Advantage on Initiative rolls'. Move Skill or Tool proficiency to a Bonus Proficiency feature.

    Rally the Troops - Solid, maybe a bit overpowered, but not by much.

    Never Give Up! Never Surrender! - Change the wording of the first part to just say 'you gain a second use of your Second Wind feature'. Do the same for Our Finest Hour.

    Lead From the Front - Very overpowered.


    Spoiler: The Fair One
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    Archetype needs lore badly.

    Dear lord this is ridiculously overpowered. These features need some hard limits on how many times they can be used stat.

    The wording is also very verbose and hard to wade through to understand what is supposed to be happening with the features.

    I would not allow this at any table I played at in its current form.


    Spoiler: Arrogate
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    All types of vehicles? Even flying?

    Coordinated Attack - Subtract 1d6 Sneak Attack damage to have the wizard cast a (1-4)d6 cantrip or the barbarian land a 1d12+STR greataxe? No-brainer. When you allow a player an option, there should be some possible benefit to them choosing differently.

    Pre-Mortem - So, basically sanctioned meta-gaming?

    Conspire - Remove the wording about distance. If you're spending part of a rest doing this, it can be assumed your allies are close enough to conspire with you.

    Focus Fire - Wait, so instead of losing 1d6 Sneak Attack damage from Coordinated Attack, you *gain* 1d6 damage and buff your buddy as well? Why would you ever choose to do anything else?


    Spoiler: College of Professors
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    Archetype needs lore badly.

    Looks like a solid and interesting archetype.


    Spoiler: Wild Guide
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    Archetype needs lore badly.

    Apprentice - So, basically you have a humanoid animal companion? That's... very strange and honestly off-putting. Cannot say I like the concept in general.


    Spoiler: Invader
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    I'm sorry, but this entire archetype really creeps me out and not even in a 'hey, this might make a good villain' way.
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  3. - Top - End - #723
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    The Fair OneArchetype needs lore badly.

    Dear lord this is ridiculously overpowered. These features need some hard limits on how many times they can be used stat.

    The wording is also very verbose and hard to wade through to understand what is supposed to be happening with the features.

    I would not allow this at any table I played at in its current form
    The only uncapped one is how many people can be kept Charmed by Beguiling Influence; that's controlled by Concentration, which has plenty of competition for what else to do with it, and can't be maintained through a long rest. The others are capped at 1 (Token of Favor) or by how many SP you want to commit to it (Throngs).

    The wording is an issue. I struggled with it to get it down to where it is, because the effects are a little fiddly and I wanted to avoid really stupid off-shoots. I'm open to suggestions for clean-up, though.

    If you could give some more specifics on what you think needs capping and why, though, I'm also open to that.

  4. - Top - End - #724
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post

    I got a chuckle out of this, but the wording and language needs to be cleaned up a bit.

    Having an extra Channel Divinity option at 6th level is a bit different, but it sound interesting.

    Overall, it's funny and interesting but I can't say I love it.
    The channel divinity choice at level 6 is something that you see in official sources at times.
    I.E. Knowledge Domain, Trickery Domain, War Domain

    Anywhere in particular you see wording that needs tightened up?
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  5. - Top - End - #725
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    Spoiler: Invader
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    I'm sorry, but this entire archetype really creeps me out and not even in a 'hey, this might make a good villain' way.
    Thanks? I know The Shadow King Amal Farouk and Freddy Krueger share some design space so I’m not surprised.

  6. - Top - End - #726
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    [QUOTE=Crisis21;24000652]
    Review of other subclasses:

    Spoiler: Oath of Royalty
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    An interesting paladin class to be sure, but in addition to needing some lore there's a few things I'm not wild about.

    King's Touch recharging full Lay on Hands after a short rest. Maybe up to half of the maximum Lay on Hands pool instead?

    Divine Right looks way different from most Paladin capstones, which are 1-minute transformations. Some of the effects, like at-will Command, are potentially broken without that time limit.


    Lore will come when I have time. I'll try to get it in before the end of the contest.

    Lay on Hands is never really all that much in comparison to full-casting healers, who can toss around stuff like Heal by this level. I think that boosting it to a short rest feature helps keep the paladin workable as a healer in the last tier of the game.
    It might be a bit much to both make it short rest and let you grant temp HP as a bonus action, though...

    Most paladin capstones are transformations, yes, but Redemption Paladins have an always-on effect, so it's not unprecedented. I also think it makes more sense given that being a monarch isn't the kind of thing you can pick up and put down when you're done.
    Command is a first level spell. Wizards can pick a 1st level spell to cast infinitely two levels before this Paladin gets it (and they get to choose that spell, too, plus they get a 2nd level spell as well). I don't think it's broken, particularly for a capstone (which tend to have wacky balance anyway), particularly given that you can't cast it on someone who's made their save.
    Hi, you can call me Void. I prefer she/her or they/them pronouns, please. Yes, "they" is a singular pronoun. I write a superhero webserial called Paternum - check it out!



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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    The only uncapped one is how many people can be kept Charmed by Beguiling Influence; that's controlled by Concentration, which has plenty of competition for what else to do with it, and can't be maintained through a long rest. The others are capped at 1 (Token of Favor) or by how many SP you want to commit to it (Throngs).

    The wording is an issue. I struggled with it to get it down to where it is, because the effects are a little fiddly and I wanted to avoid really stupid off-shoots. I'm open to suggestions for clean-up, though.

    If you could give some more specifics on what you think needs capping and why, though, I'm also open to that.
    Even if it takes up Concentration, infinite charming is a deal-breaker. There is no limit on uses, no limit on how many creatures can be charmed at once, and no limit on how often it can be reapplied to the same target if they break free.

    Token of favor apparently perma-charms a creature and they can only break free for one round at a time? And if they manage to get rid of the item enabling them to be perma-charmed they suffer horrendous side effects and can be repeatedly punished regardless of distance? Even without enabling multiple uses of this at 14th level it's broken as hell.

    And apparently there's infinite magical communication on top of all that.

    Just... no.

    Quote Originally Posted by nickl_2000 View Post
    The channel divinity choice at level 6 is something that you see in official sources at times.
    I.E. Knowledge Domain, Trickery Domain, War Domain

    Anywhere in particular you see wording that needs tightened up?
    Hold on a moment, let me get my colored text...

    Quote Originally Posted by nickl_2000 View Post
    Reaching Out
    You are adept at making other people like you, at least for the short periods of time. After they get to know you, well that is a little bit more trouble. As such, at level 1, you learn the friendship cantrip if you don’t already have it, and cast it as a cleric spell. This counts as a Cleric cantrip for you and does not count against your number of cantrips known.

    Employee Empowerment
    At level 1, you can finally apply all that management training from school to encourage your employees to do the best possible job. On your turn, you may use the Help action as a bonus action on any ally within 60 feet. to give one ally advantage on their next attack roll or skill check within the next minute. You must be within 60 feet and be able to see your ally. You may use this ability a number of times equal to your wisdom modifier and regain all expended uses when you complete a long rest.

    Channel Divinity: Increasing your bandwidth
    At level 2, you may use your channel divinity to force extra work out of those underneath you. As an action, you present your holy symbol and evoke the powers of your deity. Choose an ally you can see and is within 60 feet of you. During that ally's next turn, they gain an extra action per the action surge ability.

    Channel Divinity: You are mission critical
    At level 6, you may use your channel divinity to bolster an ally, whether they like it or not. As a reaction to a creature within 60 feet that you can see being rendered unconscious, you may present your holy symbol and evoke your deity. You heal that creature for twice your cleric level in hit points and remove the unconscious status from the targeted creature. They immediately regain consciousness and may expend their reaction to stand up from the prone position.
    Quote Originally Posted by theVoidWatches View Post

    Lore will come when I have time. I'll try to get it in before the end of the contest.

    Lay on Hands is never really all that much in comparison to full-casting healers, who can toss around stuff like Heal by this level. I think that boosting it to a short rest feature helps keep the paladin workable as a healer in the last tier of the game.
    It might be a bit much to both make it short rest and let you grant temp HP as a bonus action, though...

    Most paladin capstones are transformations, yes, but Redemption Paladins have an always-on effect, so it's not unprecedented. I also think it makes more sense given that being a monarch isn't the kind of thing you can pick up and put down when you're done.
    Command is a first level spell. Wizards can pick a 1st level spell to cast infinitely two levels before this Paladin gets it (and they get to choose that spell, too, plus they get a 2nd level spell as well). I don't think it's broken, particularly for a capstone (which tend to have wacky balance anyway), particularly given that you can't cast it on someone who's made their save.
    Fair enough. I withdraw the relevant objections regarding your capstone.
    Last edited by Crisis21; 2019-06-27 at 05:54 PM.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post


    Hold on a moment, let me get my colored text...


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  9. - Top - End - #729
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    Even if it takes up Concentration, infinite charming is a deal-breaker. There is no limit on uses, no limit on how many creatures can be charmed at once, and no limit on how often it can be reapplied to the same target if they break free.

    Token of favor apparently perma-charms a creature and they can only break free for one round at a time? And if they manage to get rid of the item enabling them to be perma-charmed they suffer horrendous side effects and can be repeatedly punished regardless of distance? Even without enabling multiple uses of this at 14th level it's broken as hell.

    And apparently there's infinite magical communication on top of all that.

    Just... no.


    There’s no repeated punishment. The token being discarded or revoked ends it. The Sorceress can’t reapply it without tracking him down. And if they don’t want the token, they can discard it as a bonus action while not Charmed. The carrot is relatively minor: the bond she bestows is an extra way to get Inspiration. But it is real. And later carrots include benefit of her patronage and spells from afar.

    But it’s not that hard to get rid of if you’re not besotted or dominated. And while it releases you for a round is more than enough to do so.

    Charm isn’t all that powerful, by itself, and Beguiling Influence ends if the Sorceress or her allies are harmful.

    You’re right on the reapplication thing, though. I’ll add a clause about not being able to apply it to anybody who has already succumbed or who made their save within the last 24 hours. Or until she long rests, or something.
    Last edited by Segev; 2019-06-27 at 06:58 PM.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    There’s no repeated punishment. The token being discarded or revoked ends it. The Sorceress can’t reapply it without tracking him down. And if they don’t want the token, they can discard it as a bonus action while not Charmed. The carrot is relatively minor: the bond she bestows is an extra way to get Inspiration. But it is real. And later carrots include benefit of her patronage and spells from afar.

    But it’s not that hard to get rid of if you’re not besotted or dominated. And while it releases you for a round is more than enough to do so.

    Charm isn’t all that powerful, by itself, and Beguiling Influence ends if the Sorceress or her allies are harmful.

    You’re right on the reapplication thing, though. I’ll add a clause about not being able to apply it to anybody who has already succumbed or who made their save within the last 24 hours. Or until she long rests, or something.
    Okay, so the no-distance-limit Psychic damage is a one-off. That's still ridiculous. You're proposing to grant campaign-final-boss type powers to a level 1 Sorcerer PC.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    Warlocks also have this. The standard wording is just "you can cast X without consuming a spell slot."
    ...oh right.

    Just updated with that change, and added some fluff.

    Also, feedback! I haven't read through other people's comments, so I may be repeating some stuff here. Take everything I say with a grain of salt!

    Spoiler: Oath of Royalty
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    I like it! It's like the non-charm based parts of a Glamour bard combined with some very nice healing abilities. The capstone being always on is different from most other Oaths, but given that for the most part it just enhances your other, limited use features, I don't have an issue with it. At will command seems scary on paper, but at 20th level, I doubt it'll break anything. My only quibble is on the oath spells; Animate Objects, Awaken, and Tiny Servant feel a bit out of place. No real complaints though; I'd definitely allow this at my table!


    Spoiler: Vestige’s Disciple
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    Ooh, I'm always a fan of vestiges! Giving it a kind of cleric like flavor is unique too! That being said, this feels more like a pact boon than a patron. Higher level abilities, beyond gaining more followers with your charisma bonus, and some guidance on what the followers can do, how they act in combat, if they act in combat, would be greatly appreciated.


    Spoiler: Domain of Middle Management
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    The fact that this is actually effective runs counter to the idea of being middle management. In all seriousness, this looks like a very solid subclass. The domain spells are very flavorful! The capstone is pretty basic, but that's not a bad thing. I'd allow this at my table... with maybe some fluff modifications for more serious campaigns.


    Spoiler: College of the Pied Piper
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    In fear of sounding like a broken record, I like the flavor! Charming Song is interesting; at face value, it doesn't seem very powerful, but the fact that there isn't an upper bound on how many creatures can be effected at once, or how long they can be effected, makes me think this can be very powerful in the right circumstances. You don't get any new uses for Bardic Inspiration though, and scaling of your Charming Song uses is a bit weird. You get one use per long rest at 3rd level, two per long rest at 6th (and Song of Rage), and then one per short rest at 14th? Maybe tone down the effects of Charming Song and Song of Rage, and tie it into Bardic Inspiration uses? You would kind of be recreating a 3.5 style bard then, interestingly enough... Either way, I do really like the concept!


    More reviews to come soon.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    Okay, so the no-distance-limit Psychic damage is a one-off. That's still ridiculous. You're proposing to grant campaign-final-boss type powers to a level 1 Sorcerer PC.
    Level 6, minimum, to give out a token to a single person at a time.

    Level 1 is just the Charm effect. Which, again, only prevents attacking her and gives her Advantage on Charisma checks. And, if she or her allies are violent towards those Beguiled or their friends, it breaks.
    Last edited by Segev; 2019-06-27 at 10:46 PM.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicrosil View Post
    Spoiler: Domain of Middle Management
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    The fact that this is actually effective runs counter to the idea of being middle management. In all seriousness, this looks like a very solid subclass. The domain spells are very flavorful! The capstone is pretty basic, but that's not a bad thing. I'd allow this at my table... with maybe some fluff modifications for more serious campaigns.

    I know, I did struggle a little with the fact that this subclass would be effective, but you need to be able to do something useful (you aren't a Purple Dragon Knight after all) I do agree with you that you would need a few fluff modifications for something more serious, but the concepts should still work effectively no matter what.


    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post

    Hold on a moment, let me get my colored text...
    Thanks, I took most of them under advisement and used them. I did not use everything in the Employee Empowerment (level 1) ability though. If I were to change it to a help action it would only work on their next turn. I specifically wanted it to last longer than that.
    Last edited by nickl_2000; 2019-06-28 at 06:50 AM.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    I'd like to second the request for an extension. Just had a lot of work come up in the last month, and haven't been able to review anyone else's fully because of it (as well as neglecting my own).
    That's two requests then. One more and I'll put in a two week extension on the contest.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Then I’ll also request the extension. Coming back to review what others have posted is low priority and there soooo many, I don’t want to get to voting without contributing critiques or even really having a grasp on what many do.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    In print, we've got the shadow subclass for Monks, and shadow subclass for Sorcerers. UA has a darkness domain for Clerics that is reportedly a bit OP. Rangers have a kinda-shadow subclass.

    Has anyone done a shadow-based subclass for Fighters in these homebrews?
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Max_Killjoy View Post
    In print, we've got the shadow subclass for Monks, and shadow subclass for Sorcerers. UA has a darkness domain for Clerics that is reportedly a bit OP. Rangers have a kinda-shadow subclass.

    Has anyone done a shadow-based subclass for Fighters in these homebrews?
    Has there been a subclass contest where that would be fitting? I mean, one might be able to make a "Shadows as minions" fighter subclass, but that seems a stretch to fit two themes rather than a natural growth from Fighter.

    THat said, I can't really think of a good "shadow subclass" for Fighter off the top of my head anyway, so it's an interesting challenge in its own right. Hrm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    Has there been a subclass contest where that would be fitting? I mean, one might be able to make a "Shadows as minions" fighter subclass, but that seems a stretch to fit two themes rather than a natural growth from Fighter.

    THat said, I can't really think of a good "shadow subclass" for Fighter off the top of my head anyway, so it's an interesting challenge in its own right. Hrm.
    Maybe a Black Knight type figure, along the lines of what Kas the bloody handed would have been?

    The sorrows and fears of your foes stain your armor black granting undead type abilities? I created an Accursed Fighter archetype meant to be modular with a regular subclass (if you picked up your curse later or had it broken). you can find it here or here (free version) if you want some inspiration.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    I updated the Swift End Monk:
    Separated the level 3 ability into two.
    Got rid of the auto-Dodge and replaced it with the damage boost suggestion.
    Tried to clean up some of the confusing wording but it may need tinkered with a bit more...let me know please.
    Swapped some of the Ki costs around as was suggested.
    Clarified The End Brought About. It is meant to be a literal "Kickstart My Heart" ability (as a fun aside, the fluff was originally going to be an extreme sports monk with rock and roll ability titles but it wasn't working so I kept the normal monk aesthetic). Several people mentioned that they were worried about the danger of missing, but the healing Ki punch is made at advantage because your ally has fallen unconscious and is thus prone. I kept the original scaling for the healing because of that minor risk and the Ki cost got bumped a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by MoleMage View Post
    I think you've given yourself a good theme, but not all of your features necessarily fit it. As mentioned, Mark of the Swift End encourages just the opposite, to draw out its defensive benefits. The ki costs also need a touchup. If you decide to update this, let me know and I'll get another review up for the updates.
    Thanks for the help. A couple of your suggestions made it into the new version.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vogie View Post
    Danger at the Fore is awesome

    The end brought about is... odd. I like how it fits with the theme, but "you might punch your allies to death" isn't a great effect. The ability to dash around to bring someone back from the brink once per short/long rest is pretty cool all by itself
    Thanks yeah, I'm really happy with that one. It has a cool visual and really fits what I want the subclass' role to be. I reordered the level 17. Hopefully that helps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    Follow, With Haste - I dislike the way this seems to penalize allies for rolling higher than you on initiative.

    Danger at the Fore - Move the text about usage and recharge to the end of the feature.

    The End Brought About - Risky. The penalty for missing makes me want to avoid using this, but the thought of punching someone back to life is amusing.
    Thanks. I reordered DatF and see above for TEBA. It has a bit of risk but advantage and a maxed Dex should minimize them. The level 6 doesn't punish anyone for rolling higher. It just doesn't reward them. And they could always hold their action to get the speed boost, thus giving you a better chance of being the first to reach the Marked enemy and getting that accuracy boost for your teammates.

    I'll try to get to an analysis of everyone else's this week, but I can't make any promises, holiday weeks can get hectic.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by BerzerkerUnit View Post
    Then I’ll also request the extension. Coming back to review what others have posted is low priority and there soooo many, I don’t want to get to voting without contributing critiques or even really having a grasp on what many do.
    That's three, so a two week extension is now in effect. New deadline is July 14!
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    A bunch of quick hits for each submission:

    Spoiler: Oath of Royalty
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    I like the spells. I get a Disney/Fantasia vibe from all the animation of objects. Overall I like it. There may be some frustration in-play with two different sources of Temp HP. The Channel Divinity and the Aura are directly competing with each other.


    Spoiler: Middle Management Domain
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    I love the fluff. It's probably not a good suggestion, as it's backwards in regards to game design, but I feel like anyone that passes there save against the Friends cantrip should take like a paltry amount of psychic damage; maybe equal to proficiency. It is the Will of the Middle Manager, the gods, and the very magic of the world that you listen to this greasy little fellow, and to deny that is pain (read., a headache).
    I've been playing Borderlands a lot lately and this reads like a mid-level Hyperion worker and a love it. This would make a fantastic low-to-mid game BBEG.


    Spoiler: College of the Pied Piper
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    I like the theme, but Charming Song needs work. It should have a hard cap on the number of charmed targets. It's very on theme, but it's like an Enchantment Wizard that can use super Hypnotic Pattern. I would be VERY hesitant to allow a player to use this in a game. It would create way to many headaches for everyone involved. Again, it would make a good low-to-mid game BBEG. The level 14 feature is missing the "At level 14" bit.


    Spoiler: School of Grey Tactics
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    I like the modularity but this really steps on the toes of a lot of other classes and subclasses. Chromatic Metamorphosis is cool but once it happens, you no longer have a 14th level ability. Also it promotes suicidal play.


    Spoiler: Ranger: The Marshal
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    I like Tactical Awareness a lot and I like the sharing of skills to a split party. If Strategic Regrouping occurs during combat does everyone get double walking speed or is travel speed only for non-combat time movement? I like the rest.


    Spoiler: Barbarian: Savage Leader
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    Simple, but relatively solid. We are all barbarians now.


    Spoiler: Barbarian: War Chief
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    I think you can drop "and hit a creature with a melee weapon attack using Strength" from The Lone Wolf Dies. That is already a requirement for Reckless. Top Dog is a cool idea, but if a group is approaching and say half pass the save, when (if ever) do those that failed join combat? The Pack survives is a bit toe-steppy on the Ancestral Guardian.


    Spoiler: Martial Archetype: The Warlord
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    Not bad. Like a functioning Banneret mixed with a Mastermind Rogue. Simple and effective. We are all fighters now.


    Spoiler: Sorcerer Archetype: The Fair One
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    Things I like: the ability to add a Bond to a characters background, like a temporary madness; and the reduction of Sorcery Points to keep control over an affect. That's a neat new way to handle the spending and usage of a resource.
    Other than that: I don't really like the theme. It feels...I don't know...skeezy?


    Spoiler: Roguish Archetype: Arrogate
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    Simple and effective. The flavor and the mechanics really line-up well. I like it.


    Spoiler: College of Professors
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    Simple and pretty neat. I really like Arcane Instruction and wish it came on-line earlier, but is a good capstone. Solid.


    Spoiler: Ranger Archetype: Wild Guide
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    A Beastmaster for humans. I like it. I wish the real Beastmaster could implement some of those training options to their animal companion. Fits the theme and I don't see any real issues. It would suck to have your apprentice die though. And it is weird to put a price on a human being, even in a pretend game.


    Spoiler: Rogue Archetype: Invader
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    The Vantage Points are unique and cool. Artful Cover should say "have half cover." Aaaand now we are Incepting people. It's pretty strong but has some drawbacks and challenges built-in. A Thieves' Tool check against someone's brain makes me chuckle.
    The subclass feels a little disjointed. It feels like two concepts mashed together. The Vantages are excellent tactically and have a very mundane feel to them, and then you turn into a super psychic. I think it would be better split in two. A whole subclass that gives terrain advantages and stuff like that, and then another that focuses on mind manipulation.


    Thanks to everyone that gave me help, and hopefully I added something constructive to the conversation.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Regarding Strategic Regrouping, it only affects travel pace, as in, the travel rules, which are only applicable for long-distance travel. The idea is that you could travel roughly a mile in half the time to reach your friend, who is barely holding on due to the benefits to their saving throws.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RickAsWritten View Post
    A bunch of quick hits for each submission:

    [

    Spoiler: Rogue Archetype: Invader
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    The Vantage Points are unique and cool. Artful Cover should say "have half cover." Aaaand now we are Incepting people. It's pretty strong but has some drawbacks and challenges built-in. A Thieves' Tool check against someone's brain makes me chuckle.
    The subclass feels a little disjointed. It feels like two concepts mashed together. The Vantages are excellent tactically and have a very mundane feel to them, and then you turn into a super psychic. I think it would be better split in two. A whole subclass that gives terrain advantages and stuff like that, and then another that focuses on mind manipulation.
    .
    Thanks so much for the feedback!

    I understand the sense that the two concepts are different, but I think I can refluff the vantage points to make them a little more like a divination effect rather than pure tactics. In modern warfare with heat sensors and lidar/radar they’d be mundane, but in a fantasy setting they’d be supernatural

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Thanks for the feedback, guys. I just edited a few things, cleaned up the wording on Undaunted Horde and clarified/revised who War Cry effects. I'll work on getting the lore up soon, I'm thinking most of it'll feature an overly bombastic, bare-chested, dwarven barbarian (who is of course wearing a kilt and dual wielding axes).
    "Now get on your flying boat and stop a crazy dwarf vampire from committing election fraud!"

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RickAsWritten View Post
    Spoiler: Oath of Royalty
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    I like the spells. I get a Disney/Fantasia vibe from all the animation of objects. Overall I like it. There may be some frustration in-play with two different sources of Temp HP. The Channel Divinity and the Aura are directly competing with each other.
    How are the CD and the Aura competing? They do different things - the CD lets people rally to you (which can bring them into your Aura) or else gives an extra attack/cantrip, while the Aura is a utility effect letting you share skills.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RickAsWritten View Post
    [School of Grey Tactics]I like the modularity but this really steps on the toes of a lot of other classes and subclasses. Chromatic Metamorphosis is cool but once it happens, you no longer have a 14th level ability. Also it promotes suicidal play.
    I'm a bit confused at this interpretation; "You no longer have a 14th level ability" implies that you missed its benefits afterwards, but "it promotes suicidal play" implies that you are encouraged to use it by those very same benefits. It's more thematic than anything, so I'm definitely not dropping it, but I guess it is a bit confusing and I'd welcome any suggestions to the wording.
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Forgive me if any of my critiques retread insights better stated by others.

    Oath of Royalty
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    Not bad. I think it's gotten a lot of attention already being the first posted.


    Vestige Disciple
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    When will we see more of Vestige Patron? I love minion classes.

    At a glance I think you'd get more mileage out of using the default NPCs and monsters and some light math. Like NPC CR's equal to 1/2. Creatures with a CR of 0 are treated as 1/8.

    The cap on ability scores really limits who you can bring with you.

    So you start with total CR equal to 1/2 your class level. So you could bring some commoners or guards. If they die they can be brought back via normal means or additional adherents will arrive within 7 days. If you wish to recruit a new adherent you must dismiss a number equal to the CR value of the new recruit.

    This way when you're high level you can have a couple of gladiators or a mind flayer and a bunch of thralls.

    You might use the later levels to expand the Patrons reach, so at level 6 your patron might also appeal to monstrosities or Elemental beings and at level 10 you can recruit from fey or fiends and level 14 might be celestials or aberrations. These special adherents might require contracts/pacts/you might have to meet them in play, and you always have to bring them back with magic.

    However you choose to expand it, I'm eager to see more going forward, good luck!


    College of Pied Piper
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    I like the theme of this college but something about the implementation is bothering me. Depending on the situation the Charming Song either pauses a combat or outright ends one. As a daily ability it isn't bad but I'm not sure how to change it. I'm okay with unlimited duration, but I would think a Con + Perform or Tool Use check per hour to maintain would be appropriate baked in.

    The Song of Rage... I see the goal but handing everyone a key class feature (that may actually be a huge nerf if they're a caster) doesn't seem ideal. Something that makes targets reliably attack each other, more like the Scarlet Witch in Age of Ultron if you need a reference point. They get to make the save if they're damaged like normal but it wastes their turns at the least. The duration is too long.

    Pie the Piper seems fine.


    Swift End Monk, apologies for this one. I'm not against the general concept but I opted to take my own pass at it for comparison's sake.
    Spoiler
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    Mark of a Swift End. I love marking techniques, I think if this were more like "On a hit you can spend a Ki point to mark a foe for swift end. An ally of your choosing that hits the target before the beginning of your next turn gains a bonus to damage rolls equal to your Proficiency bonus and attacks are criticals on 19-20." or something. This brings it more in line with Hexblade curse and expands its value as you go up in level as a fellow combatant will have more attacks and your bonus increases. Maybe add a bit where you can spend more Ki at higher tiers for more allies to share the benefit.

    Follow, I'm not sure I like how this interacts with initiative. I might swap it to "When you spend a Ki point to dash, allies within 30 feet may also use their reaction to dash."

    Danger at the Fore. Add a bit about how the association with death brings a limited prescience concerning your own. I really like this as a concept, traps are unloved IMO, but it's very niche. I might set it up as follows.
    When you trigger a trap you are unaware of but have not yet suffered the effect or are surprised, you can spend 3 Ki points to have foreseen the trap or ambush a split second ahead of time. The trap remains untriggered or You are not surprised and can act normally.

    The End brought about. I would describe this as Cute. I don't like abilities that gamble with other character's lives. I think an awesome spin might be "move adjacent to fallen ally and tick a failed death save for yourself. Your ally gets HP equal to 3x your Monk Level. The next time you are reduced to 0 hp you have already failed that death save. All of the failed death saves accrued in this way are removed after a long rest.


    Marshal Ranger
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    Without knowing whether you're going off revised or book ranger I can't rightly comment on this one.


    Savage Leader
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    Reminds me of this. Overall not bad. I might make Undaunted Horde a little less fiddly. One static effect that's readily applied to allies, right now it feels like a laundry list of stuff for them to keep track of.

    Reckless Frenzy might be better represented as a pool of attacks, similar to Commander's Strike maneuver... When you use the Reckless attack feature while raging you can use a bonus action to direct an ally to use their reaction to make a melee attack. They have advantage on this attack. You can do this a number of times equal to your Con modifier. You regain all uses of this ability the next time you begin raging. That way you keep track of it instead of other players.

    War Cry is great. I'd switch it to 30 feet and make it once a day.



    War Chief
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    Feature 1:
    Beginning at 1st level, the primal power radiating from your form can deter lesser foes from challenging you. You gain proficiency in the Intimidation Skill, if already proficient you double proficiency bonus unless you already have a similar feature. When you roll initiative, enemies within 30 feet with Initiative checks lower than your passive Intimidation are Frightened. Frightened creatures can roll a wisdom saving throw at the end of their turn to end this effect. Creatures with a CR greater than your Barbarian level are immune to this ability.

    I love The Pack Survives since it synergizes with Reckless attack so well.

    War Howl seems ok as is. Good work.


    Warlord
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    I've been frustrated by the call for this archetype for a while as I don't think it's necessary. That said, this is seriously good. Like, I immediately cut pasted it as is into my "character options" folder for my homebrew campaign. Full marks.


    Fair One Sorcerer
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    I think this has gotten a lot of attention already, I doubt I'll be adding anything.


    I'll try and hit some more later.
    Last edited by BerzerkerUnit; 2019-07-02 at 08:14 PM.

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Thanks for the feedback. It...well, it's a mind-control, Charm-based subclass; feeling "skeevy" is not inappropriate. It CAN be played as a beloved princess archetype, but doing so will take adhering to the fluff you want very carefully. Everybody loves you and you act in a way that suggests it's deserved. The psychic damage is not you being cruel and covetous, but their own guilt at betraying you. It can be done non-skeevy, but it takes serious work, as is typical of any "people like me" build.

  29. - Top - End - #749
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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    More feedback.


    Arrogate
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    Coordinated attack- this would be cooler if you could sacrifice up to half your sneak dice when you direct the ally to attack and they gain the dice. early game this could be a way to offset the penalty of being a rogue vs resistant monsters and regularly offset the all or nothing nature of Rogue attacks.

    I like the fluff of premortem. The mechanics are way too weak. Add a couple of optional advantages the rogue grants or gains for seeing the future as such. a 9th level feature being a 1/day for a 1st level spell effect feels short of the mark.

    I think most of Conspire is good, I don't like the temp hp conflicting with Inspiring Leader, Heroes' Feast, etc. Maybe have it Raise HP max by Proficiency or Int bonus? Have the benefits function more like tokens, they get spent or just apply bonuses to first turn of combat.

    Focus Fire's -1d6 for coordinating but now +2d6 for coordinating also seems like a bit of a mouthful. Just have the coordinating ally do 2d6 additional damage.


    College of Professors
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    This is probably pretty good but nothing is jumping out at me as a real hook. Maybe because the features aren't really going to apply to party members? They will have their own things to do during combat. Maybe if this had some minionmancing mixed in to take advantage of teaching rhubarbs how to use the polearm you picked up... I don't see enough value in any 1st level spell to make "let someone else cast it 3x" a satisfactory effect. Maybe if you could affect Level + Cha mod targets you'd get some mileage. Adding 24 Thunderwaves to a high level encounter would be something.


    more later

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    Default Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by theVoidWatches View Post
    How are the CD and the Aura competing? They do different things - the CD lets people rally to you (which can bring them into your Aura) or else gives an extra attack/cantrip, while the Aura is a utility effect letting you share skills.
    Sorry, I misquoted/misremembered. Inspiring Presence gives Temp HP, and then King's Touch gives Temp HP. I know one is low-level and only 5 Temp HP and the other is high-level and starts out at up 37.5, but whichever is newest wipes out the other.

    Quote Originally Posted by sengmeng View Post
    I'm a bit confused at this interpretation; "You no longer have a 14th level ability" implies that you missed its benefits afterwards, but "it promotes suicidal play" implies that you are encouraged to use it by those very same benefits. It's more thematic than anything, so I'm definitely not dropping it, but I guess it is a bit confusing and I'd welcome any suggestions to the wording.
    I like the ability and the kick-ass flavor of getting to be Gandalf, but the one-time-use nature of it makes me feel less like it's an ability and more like activating a magic item. It's like the Ravenloft holy symbols and weapons turned into a character ability, a plot device and then it's over. Take someone that is an optimizer/min-maxxer and make him a 14th level Grey Wizard, and the first thing he does is jump off a cliff or something to trigger the Metamorphosis.
    It would be less true to the Gandalf theme, but if it happened any time you were reduced to 0 HP but the transformation lasted for a set duration (10 minutes or something) then it would feel more like an ability and less...jarring?

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