Silly Plots 3: With government backing we can make it very silly

[Nova_Eclipse]

[An Epic Journey]

"I believe the weather is trying to tell you something. You'd do well to heed its warnings, sir," Corvus says to the man casually, gesturing at the clouds. "The fury of the skies is no laughing matter."

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Journey]

Willa rolls her eyes. There's no helping arguing with idiots.
And Willa is well aware that she's no savant either.

"That, in exchange for getting the lot of us home safely. Under these terms are we bound." Willa says calmly, scuffing the circle with her back hoof.

[Recaiden]

Zophiel doesn't say anything.
She just leaves the door open and stays to the side of the door frame.

She raises the empty bucket that she picked up, and holds it close to her.

She holds her breath, waiting...

...waiting...

...waiting for the crossbow to pass through the door - she assumes it will go first, because people usually put their weapons first. Once that happens, she'll raise the bucket so it goes in front and up against the crossbow, to stop the bolt. And then, she'll move her hands to try to wrest the weapon away from the guy.

The guy gingerly sets down his bag by the edge of the balcony. The crossbow (and the person carrying it) creep towards the door with Zophiel.
The bucket is on! The trigger is pulled! It's over for the poor bucket.
He holds onto the crossbow, trying to drag it back to him (for some reason) and if not that to pull Zophiel out towards the doorway.

[Deathkeeper]

[Felix's Tower]

"Then build it in a way that suits you." Felix replies with a patient smile. "What it looks like does not matter. How it's shaped does not matter. How many pieces it's in does not matter, as long as you join them all together at the end. And who knows? Perhaps your typical mage misses a trick by focusing too much on making it look nice. The most important thing, is that you make something that you can be proud of. Oh, but it probably would be best to keep things a little simple for now, so I'd recommend making something with two arms, two legs, and so forth."

[Felix's Tower]

Krayger is definitely not a craftsman, but he does know how to cut and carve wood at least. He manages to construct a rough facsimile of a round minotaur shape out of individual pieces, fitting together into a torso with pegs. It's not incredibly pretty, but it does stand on its own with only a little wobble that is fixed with a file.
Krayger likely spends a decent amount of time trying to give it some basic facial features unless Felix tells him to refocus.

[Gnrlshrimp]

[Felix's Tower]

For the most part the old mage is content to let Krayger get on with it and (hopefully) enjoy himself. He busies himself with a little construction at the same time, creating a tiny but rather cute stick-figure. Golems come in all shapes and sizes, so why not amuse himself with a little diversion?

However if Krayger wants any advice, Felix is happy to provide.

And once Krayger has a functional-looking minotaur, Felix does get over to have a look at it. "Now remember, you're not trying to impress me, you're not trying to impress anyone. All that matters is that you like what you've made. Do as much or as little as you want."

[5a Violista]

Poor bucket!
It had too short of a life.
With no time to grieve for the departed bucket, she has no choice but to let go of it. Normal crossbows can't be instantly reloaded and only hold one shot, so Zophiel takes the gamble that it's not a magic-reloading or multi-shot crossbow and decides the best choice is to let go of the crossbow - so that she has both her hands available.

At the angle Zophiel is at, she doesn't have enough leverage to pull the man down. If she had put a leg against the doorframe, maybe she could have done it but as-is she's still not used to her body enough such that she doesn't consider it.

She gets pulled out, and quickly adapts her plan: instead of pulling back against the man, she pushes with both her hands against him, near the shoulders. And, her leg moves out to wrap around his to pull his leg up and off-balance. She hopes this will knock him over to the ground. "What are you doing?" she asks in a harsh whisper. He's the type to fire a crossbow into a dark room, so Zophiel feels that's enough grounds to start an interrogation, even if 'while trying to trip someone' isn't the best time to interrogate them.

[Recaiden]

Expecting Zophiel to pull back more, the guy is off-balancing, lurching backwards, as he's shoved and tripped.
He crashes down onto the floor of the storage room, between the balcony-door and the window.
An answer is cried out, "I'm just trying to get out of here. Who the hell are you?"
But he's also kicking at Zophiel's leg to try to knock her down as well.

[5a Violista]

One leg was occupied so taking out her other leg is super-effective.
She falls.

While falling, Zophiel won't have much control to do things which would give this time to set up an attack or a grab or something, so she preempts this by sticking out her elbow and bracing it, trying to turn her freefall into an elbow drop.

"There was a window over there." She presumes there was a window over there on the other side where the guy just came from, since there was a window on each side of the entrance. She sidesteps the 'who are you' question because explaining who she is and why she's here will be a little hard. So she instead just reiterates the question. "So why are you here."

[Recaiden]

"Oof-"
The guy won't have much to say for a moment after that.
And this is all so surreal. Some stranger showing up in your own home and demanding to know why you're there?
"The -cough- the door was open."

[Deathkeeper]

[Felix's Tower]

Krayger shakes his head.
"Well yes, but it's still going to need eyes and at least a semblance of fingers." He isn't able to give it incredible lifelike details, but he can at least carve some holes for eyes and nostrils and a rudimentary mouth and some lines for its hands.
It's nothing special but it's nothing awful either.
"Well, it looks alright at least." It's a little rough, having seen some of the craftsmen in Riversides' work on similar ideas.

[5a Violista]

Drat, that didn't help find out who this guy is or how important he is in this place. Or if he knows what the door-guard was thinking or if the crash earlier was Ririn, or what.

It's an entirely unhelpful answer...why can't people just tell her what she wants to know?

With both of them on the ground but Zophiel on top, the man's hands and arms are probably the most dangerous parts right now. So she moves, trying to pin his arms with her knees.

But maybe she can find out something by trying a different line of attack with more specificity: "I saw that somebody had climbed through this window and so I followed them," she gestures with her head at the window. "That wasn't you, was it?"

Meanwhile, she prays in her head, pleading pleasepleaseplease give an answer I can do something with.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Journey]

"I believe the weather is trying to tell you something. You'd do well to heed its warnings, sir," Corvus says to the man casually, gesturing at the clouds. "The fury of the skies is no laughing matter."

[An Epic Journey]

Willa rolls her eyes. There's no helping arguing with idiots.
And Willa is well aware that she's no savant either.

"That, in exchange for getting the lot of us home safely. Under these terms are we bound." Willa says calmly, scuffing the circle with her back hoof.

[An Epic Journey]

"I'm quite aware the weather is turning, but it's not me it warns." The leader smiles cruelly. "Leave the horse woman alive. Kill the rest." He instructs and the monstrous snakes and their handlers advance.

"But of course." The presence in the circles seeps out through the gap and surges forward to confront the advancing snake creature. A face briefly forms in the swirling smoke and a snake like tongue flickers. The monster's tongues flick back.

"Deal with the spirit." The leader orders. One of the handlers pulls what looks to be wand carved from bone from his sleeve, when the chains connecting him to the snake monster evaporate into nothing. There's a tense moment, and the scream barely leaves his lips before the snake strikes. It's so fast that even the most perceptive of them will struggle to track the motion. One moment the beast is upright and the next its fangs perforate the handler.

The screams of the men behind them suggest a similar struggle.

The second handler in front of them bolts, only to be obliterated by a bolt of lightning from the sky. The close strike should have blinded and deafened them, but instead they hear the voice of the presence. "Do you wish to kill him yourself, warlock? There's no guarantee the nyuvwira will manage it." It gestures to the leader, the only person on the opposing side still remotely composed. While his companions die, he pulls rapidly at a lengthy chain that tumbles from his sleeve.

[Recaiden]

Maybe if you answered their questions, or didn't beat them up, they'd be more willing to cooperate.
Or maybe you haven't beaten them enough.

The man's arms are pinned. He tries for a moment to throw Zophiel off, but quickly gives up on it. He's not going to slip away now.
"What-? No, I- I live here. Someone broke in; there was a fight down in the kitchens; I figured I'd keep myself safe."
"I don't know anything, honest."

[5a Violista]

I guess that's what Zophiel deserves for doing something that she's, frankly speaking, not good at.

Or, rather, she could be good at it but it would require intentionally weakening the seals to tap into the goddess's powers, skills, personality, or memories. While there are situations where that could be a good idea, she's a little on edge given how quickly the seals seem to go away, and Cleo has given her hope that it's not inevitable that that's what will happen. So she's being a bit overcautious, at least until they can try out the different ideas.

"O-oh." Zophiel moves her knees off of his wrists. "Sorry."

She gets in a position so she can stand, just in case she can't de-escalate this, and then pushes up with her hands, removing them from his wrists. "I was helping out the gardener when I heard a scream, and the guy at the gate wouldn't tell me what happened."

[Recaiden]

The guy stares at Zophiel in bafflement for a moment.
"When did we get an assistant gardener?" "You know, doesn't matter."

He tries to sit up a bit, hands out to his sides and a little behind him. No attacking Zophiel.
"I've been planning to go back Inside or a while now, and with those bombs on the horizon, and whatever this is, I thought today's the day. Kitchens are through that door, down stairs, second right. Can't recommend going there, though."

[Gnrlshrimp]

[Felix's Tower]

Felix nods quietly, and then places his simple little stick-figure beside Krayger's construct. "Simple or complicated, big or small, rough or refined, all that matters, all that truly matters is that you're happy with it?" He smiles and raises a finger, the faint tingle of just a little bit of arcane power forming around him. "Are you happy with your work, Krayger?"

[5a Violista]

Well, that's something good to know: the gardener is distant enough and there's too much going on that even if they don't believe her, they won't care enough to look further into it.
And also they're not the 'to the death, ignore all else' type of loyalty.

Zophiel tries to commit this guy's appearance to memory just because being able to describe one more person might help her look like she belongs.
And she picks back up the bucket. Same reason - what sort of invader carries a bucket? "Yeah, be careful. Magic could cause an explosion like that, but it doesn't feel like magic, you know?"

She steps away from him. "If someone down there needs help, I've got to help them, right?" she says, starting to go in that direction.

But before leaving, she pauses and says, "Oh. I'm Zophiel...sorry if that bruises."

Okay, on to kitchens.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[An Epic Journey]

Corvus watches as his prediction comes to pass thanks to Willa's deal with the spirit. He holds off on doing anything further at this point, though. If Willa wants the man dead, and the spirit doesn't manage it, he's quite sure one of their new companions probably can manage it if he doesn't do it himself. Still, though, better to wait for Willa's word than to presume.

[Deathkeeper]

[Felix's Tower]

Krayger thinks for a moment before nodding and putting down his tools.
"Yes. I dare say that I am." he says, with perhaps a bit of pride in the little thing.

[An Epic Journey]

Willa shakes her head. She still has no head for violence against people. Monsters are different, but this?
"No, no, that's quite alright. I don't do that sort of thing. He'd probably wiggle out of what I had planned." She had considered slapping him with an animal spirit. She'd like to see him keep up his position in court with a boar spirit attached to him making him act slovenly and gluttonous. But someone capable of handling creatures like that and magic would probably notice that rather quickly and exorcise it. She really needs to work on getting some more impressive tricks.

[Shadowcaller]

[An Epic Journey]

Ambrosia frowns with distaste as the angel goes forth into a world of pain and death. Though her expression lasts only a moment, as the battle clears she have resumed her neutral tone.
The man had just ordered them dead, but she felt like there were far less brutal ways to end that.
Then again, she couldn't expect much else from an angel. They were far too eager to kill and maim even if it was indirectly. Indeed, especially if it was indirectly.

"Are we done here then?" She turns to the merchant. "The humans here are no different from the drow in the terms of hospitality it seems, so we better leave as soon as possible."

[Recaiden]

Well, that's something good to know: the gardener is distant enough and there's too much going on that even if they don't believe her, they won't care enough to look further into it.
And also they're not the 'to the death, ignore all else' type of loyalty.

Zophiel tries to commit this guy's appearance to memory just because being able to describe one more person might help her look like she belongs.
And she picks back up the bucket. Same reason - what sort of invader carries a bucket? "Yeah, be careful. Magic could cause an explosion like that, but it doesn't feel like magic, you know?"

She steps away from him. "If someone down there needs help, I've got to help them, right?" she says, starting to go in that direction.

But before leaving, she pauses and says, "Oh. I'm Zophiel...sorry if that bruises."

Okay, on to kitchens.

At least, looking into it isn't a high priority.

Zophiel picks up a bucket with the bottom shot off it by a crossbow! Or, if she prefers, a different, more intact bucket.
Either way it will help to appear surreal.

The guy gets back to his feet, slowly, painfully.
"The gods help those who help themselves, right? If they can't handle it, I won't make much difference."
As Zophiel leaves, he gathers himself up and then leaves through the door to the balcony, where he starts just climbing down to the courtyard.
"I'm Carnaeslan. Uh...good luck?"

Down in the kitchen, there's a total mess. Half the room is covered in flour from a burst sack, with footprints all over. Broken glass lies scattered near the opposite door (which is hanging open), along with a younger guy who doesn't look terribly hurt except for being passed out. The souffle has collapsed. The practical iron chandelier is still swinging slightly back and forth. Footprints in the flower suggest that two other people left the room, heading inward.

[Morty]

[An Epic Journey]

Thariza finally unslings her bow and nocks an arrow, which proves rather unnecessary. Or does it? She doesn't trust whatever it is that's helping them, so she'll be ready to act regardless.

[5a Violista]

That's a good point: a different, better bucket is better.

Oh! That's good, she got his name. She didn't get the gardener's name, so maybe this will help.

Zophiel looks around the kitchen to work back what happened. Looks like a messy fight, ending with somebody chasing somebody else. They left not that long ago, judging by the chandelier. The flour means there's probably going to be footsteps she can follow outside of the room.
She runs over to the younger guy to make sure he's actually alright (as opposed to just looking alright).

She leaves out of the kitchen to follow the apparent path the two people took.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Journey]

Corvus watches as his prediction comes to pass thanks to Willa's deal with the spirit. He holds off on doing anything further at this point, though. If Willa wants the man dead, and the spirit doesn't manage it, he's quite sure one of their new companions probably can manage it if he doesn't do it himself. Still, though, better to wait for Willa's word than to presume.

[Felix's Tower]

Krayger thinks for a moment before nodding and putting down his tools.
"Yes. I dare say that I am." he says, with perhaps a bit of pride in the little thing.

[An Epic Journey]

Willa shakes her head. She still has no head for violence against people. Monsters are different, but this?
"No, no, that's quite alright. I don't do that sort of thing. He'd probably wiggle out of what I had planned." She had considered slapping him with an animal spirit. She'd like to see him keep up his position in court with a boar spirit attached to him making him act slovenly and gluttonous. But someone capable of handling creatures like that and magic would probably notice that rather quickly and exorcise it. She really needs to work on getting some more impressive tricks.

[An Epic Journey]

Ambrosia frowns with distaste as the angel goes forth into a world of pain and death. Though her expression lasts only a moment, as the battle clears she have resumed her neutral tone.
The man had just ordered them dead, but she felt like there were far less brutal ways to end that.
Then again, she couldn't expect much else from an angel. They were far too eager to kill and maim even if it was indirectly. Indeed, especially if it was indirectly.

"Are we done here then?" She turns to the merchant. "The humans here are no different from the drow in the terms of hospitality it seems, so we better leave as soon as possible."

[An Epic Journey]

Thariza finally unslings her bow and nocks an arrow, which proves rather unnecessary. Or does it? She doesn't trust whatever it is that's helping them, so she'll be ready to act regardless.

[An Epic Journey]

"I don't think you understand. He'll stop us leaving."

Given time to act, the man swings the chain above his head in a wide circle. He flings the end of it at the snake monster as it starts to turn on him and the beast hisses with all three heads as the chain wraps around its body. "Obey!" He jerks the chain and the snake bends low. "Kill." The monster turns toward the group once more.

[Deathkeeper]

[An Epic Journey]

”And I don’t think you understand that I had my combat capabilities wiped from my brain twice. And I have a stick.” she tries to be patient as she addresses Corvus.
”I’m sorry to order you around but we’re not getting any help on this one. You’re going to have to shut him and his beast up.” she asks of the Lunar. She really does hate asking him to do violence on her behalf.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[An Epic Journey]

"It's no trouble; it's why I'm here, my dear," Corvus says as his anima banner flares to life once more, an image in silver light flaring behind him of a massive tiger leaping and pouncing, as he crouches low for an instant, before springing at the man, blurring in his speed, impossibly fast, swinging an Essence-hardened fist, strong enough to shatter an iron-bound door or even to shatter stone itself, at the man's face. He's hoping that by taking its leader out, the monster will perhaps not attack, or, even better, if the chain remains, it can perhaps be ordered to stand down before it hurts anyone.

[Recaiden]

That's a good point: a different, better bucket is better.

Oh! That's good, she got his name. She didn't get the gardener's name, so maybe this will help.

Zophiel looks around the kitchen to work back what happened. Looks like a messy fight, ending with somebody chasing somebody else. They left not that long ago, judging by the chandelier. The flour means there's probably going to be footsteps she can follow outside of the room.
She runs over to the younger guy to make sure he's actually alright (as opposed to just looking alright).

She leaves out of the kitchen to follow the apparent path the two people took.

Should probably turn the guy to make sure he stays able to breathe.

It's easy enough to follow the floury footsteps down towards the main hall.
There's someone at the far end of the hall, walking back towards the kitchen. It's the hero?! Definitely seems that way in the dim torchlight.

[5a Violista]

Turning the guy is a good idea. She does that.

She looks down the hallway at the dimly-lit person.
There's only one person! But there were two sets of footprints, which suggests either the hero either overpowered or lost the other person...assuming that is the hero. Keeping an eye out in case the other person suddenly shows up, Zophiel waits in the hallway (holding the bucket still) for the hero(?) to get closer - close enough to see better who it actually is. "Hi," she not-quite-loud-enough-to-call-it-calling-out, and waves to catch their attention.

[Morty]

[An Epic Journey]

Corvus seems to have the snake's handler well in hand, but Thariza decides to keep an eye on the snake itself nonetheless. She keeps her bow pointed at it, and should it attack anyone while Corvus goes after the handler, she'll fire a magic shot that becomes a broad shockwave. If it hits any of the heads, it should knock them back and stun them briefly.

[Gullara]

[An Epic Journey]

”And I don’t think you understand that I had my combat capabilities wiped from my brain twice. And I have a stick.” she tries to be patient as she addresses Corvus.
”I’m sorry to order you around but we’re not getting any help on this one. You’re going to have to shut him and his beast up.” she asks of the Lunar. She really does hate asking him to do violence on her behalf.

[An Epic Journey]

"It's no trouble; it's why I'm here, my dear," Corvus says as his anima banner flares to life once more, an image in silver light flaring behind him of a massive tiger leaping and pouncing, as he crouches low for an instant, before springing at the man, blurring in his speed, impossibly fast, swinging an Essence-hardened fist, strong enough to shatter an iron-bound door or even to shatter stone itself, at the man's face. He's hoping that by taking its leader out, the monster will perhaps not attack, or, even better, if the chain remains, it can perhaps be ordered to stand down before it hurts anyone.

[An Epic Journey]

Corvus seems to have the snake's handler well in hand, but Thariza decides to keep an eye on the snake itself nonetheless. She keeps her bow pointed at it, and should it attack anyone while Corvus goes after the handler, she'll fire a magic shot that becomes a broad shockwave. If it hits any of the heads, it should knock them back and stun them briefly.

[An Epic Journey]

For all Corvus's strength, his powerful blow completely breaks against the man's face. It's as if he's struck stell instead of flesh. The man simply snears in Corvus's face and tugs the chain.

The snake monster turns hissing, but then Thariza's magic strikes it. It seems less effective than she'd hope, but the hesitation it causes will give Corvus a valuable moment before the beast strikes with blinding speed. Eight heads seek to rip and tear.

Meanwhile the Thariza and the others not so far away can taste ozone and feel their hair stand on end. That's all the warning they get before a bolt of lightning strikes from the sky directly in their midst. A direct strike would instantly kill a regular person, but even indirect transference of electricity through the ground can do them harm if they're too close.