LGBTAitP - Part 20: Critical Hit!

[Arachu]

I need some bloody hugs today... :smallsigh:
My depression seems to be 'hitting' less and less frequently (and over shorter periods of time), but it's also hitting me harder... I've been insulting myself rather thoroughly lately, and now that I think about it I've been having trouble being able to tell whether I'm hungry all week.

I was doing okay today (however rough my sleep apparently was)... Until I found a quiz (from the Sun) with the title "tran or woman" (yes, "tran" :smallannoyed:). The intro said something about 'woman-detecting skills', along with asking the reader whether they can tell between "genders"...

... And all of the ratings were shaving puns.

I came this close to sending them an email stating only "**** you".

Feels like I headbutted a cinderblock... :smallsigh:



Can I pick the delectable brains of the trans people here?

:smallsigh:

Okay, just be careful around the midbrain - I need to see to know how my nails look. :smalltongue:


I see in the cinema that there's another film out where a comedy actor dresses up as woman and pretends to act out dreadful stereotypes of female behaviour. (It's Adam Sandler this time, although the name of the film escapes me). I used to just find these films woefully unfunny (Norbert & Big Mommas House spring to mind and the brain bleach follows soon after :smallannoyed:) but now I think about some of the awesome trans-folks in this thread and I actually find the concept of the film offensive.

I think it's partly because it enforces negative stereotypes but mainly because it plays the whole idea of transgenderism and gender confusion for laughs. There are many things worth laughing at in this world. This isn't one of them. :smallannoyed:

Is this a sentiment shared by yourselves or am I getting uppity for no reason?

IMO, Norbert was just... Boring. I actually noted that I lost two hours of my life during the credits (and I have spare time to spare, I tell you).

I keep trying to dissect White Chicks and The Hot Chick, but to do that accurately I'd have to watch them again... :/


I'm feeling really down today.

I've had a history with girls. A bad one. They don't take me seriously, think all my ticks are just me being weird.

Recently, I've begun to like girls. As in, like-like them. But not the like-like-like, just date-and-kiss like. Going further is beyond my comfort zone. So, uh, asexuality doesn't fit my bill anymore. I suppose being at a school with three four girls and thirty-seven guys isn't exactly going to help in teenage development.

Anyways, I met a girl who seemed really nice, really interested in me.

Little did I know all she did was make sarcastic comments about interest in me, and talk about how "weird" I was behind my back. Yeah, I'm getting mocked for my Asperger's, again. Like I didn't leave a school to go to another before, right? Right?

This isn't the first time it's happened either. At my last public school, the same thing happened. Only she made an effort to avoid me once she found I returned to a public school once again.

*Hugs!*

(I think the word you're looking for is heteroromantic, though I'm not sure.)

[Skeppio]

Anyone else find this absolutely adorable? :smallbiggrin:


Birchgrove and Skeppio
sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G...


I do, it is one of those things that could brighten even the stormiest days. :smallsmile:

So keep being adorably happy, Skepgrove*, or I will have to hug you until you do! :smallamused::smalltongue::smallsmile:

*Portmanteau name!

:smallredface::smallredface::smallredface: Hehe, thanks. :smallsmile:

[Triscuitable]

:smallredface::smallredface::smallredface: Hehe, thanks. :smallsmile:

I seem to only be able to read your username as "Spekkio". I wonder why... http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090305013619/chrono/images/3/31/Spekkio_%28second_form%29.png

Ugh, I finally realized what's been eating at me lately. I need someone I can trust, so I can hug them.

[golentan]

I seem to only be able to read your username as "Spekkio". I wonder why... http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090305013619/chrono/images/3/31/Spekkio_%28second_form%29.png

Ugh, I finally realized what's been eating at me lately. I need someone I can trust, so I can hug them.

Hugs? :smallredface:

[Triscuitable]

Hugs? :smallredface:

As much as I appreciate it, I mean a physical hug.

Thing is, I really have contact issues. So a hug is actually a huge step forward in a relationship for me.

[Skeppio]

I seem to only be able to read your username as "Spekkio". I wonder why... http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090305013619/chrono/images/3/31/Spekkio_%28second_form%29.png

Hehe, I get that a bit. :smalltongue:


Ugh, I finally realized what's been eating at me lately. I need someone I can trust, so I can hug them.

*hugs*

[golentan]

As much as I appreciate it, I mean a physical hug.

Thing is, I really have contact issues. So a hug is actually a huge step forward in a relationship for me.

I was offering a physical hug. Logistics may be tricky though.

[Triscuitable]

I was offering a physical hug. Logistics may be tricky though.

A card always works.

[Asta Kask]

And yet Tootsie and Mrs Doubtfire are both excellent films.

I think it depends on what the point of the comedy is. If the funny thing is "That's a dude! Dressed as a woman!", then it's bad. But that's not the point in the two movies you mentioned. They go beyond cheap laughs.


I need some bloody hugs today... :smallsigh:
My depression seems to be 'hitting' less and less frequently (and over shorter periods of time), but it's also hitting me harder... I've been insulting myself rather thoroughly lately, and now that I think about it I've been having trouble being able to tell whether I'm hungry all week.

I was doing okay today (however rough my sleep apparently was)... Until I found a quiz (from the Sun) with the title "tran or woman" (yes, "tran" :smallannoyed:). The intro said something about 'woman-detecting skills', along with asking the reader whether they can tell between "genders"...

... And all of the ratings were shaving puns.

I came this close to sending them an email stating only "**** you".

Feels like I headbutted a cinderblock... :smallsigh:

a) stop visiting the Sun, unless it's for the page 3 girls

b) talk to your therapist about this

c) *hugs*

[Arachu]

a) stop visiting the Sun, unless it's for the page 3 girls

b) talk to your therapist about this

c) *hugs*

Even if there were decent therapists around here... I'm stuck with my parents, and they'd never bring me to one (they'd just make some arrogant comment and tell me to get over it - also something about money, most likely).

I feel bad about freaking out so much on here, but I don't have anyone to confide in (or hug, for that matter)... My voice always catches when I try to talk about my emotions, and my tone and face don't always line up with what I feel. And everyone I know and am willing to get close enough to... Don't like getting near people.

Also, when my dog died they gave him to us in a box. Rather, a garbage bag in a box. That didn't help. :smallannoyed:

[Asta Kask]

Well, a support thread like this isn't anywhere near as good as a therapist but it's better than nothing I suppose. Have you told your parents about how bad you feel? Because I find it hard to figure parents who don't really care about how their son feels... perhaps I was just lucky.

I'll just repeat my broken record:
We're your friends
If you cry, we'll comfort you
If you stumble, we'll steady you
If you fall, we'll help you up

Skeppio, Marcus - we need romantic pictures and sappy stories stat!

[Arachu]

Well, a support thread like this isn't anywhere near as good as a therapist but it's better than nothing I suppose. Have you told your parents about how bad you feel? Because I find it hard to figure parents who don't really care about how their son feels... perhaps I was just lucky.

I tried that in grade school... Didn't go over so well. :smallsigh:

It's not that they don't care so much as it is that they don't think... *voice trails off*

... That statement's pretty accurate by itself, now that I think of it. :/


I'll just repeat my broken record:
We're your friends
If you cry, we'll comfort you
If you stumble, we'll steady you
If you fall, we'll help you up

That works better than I thought it did... :smallsmile:


Skeppio, Marcus - we need romantic pictures and sappy stories stat!

I second the motion. *dramatically points at sky*

[Skeppio]

Skeppio, Marcus - we need romantic pictures and sappy stories stat!

But I'm in Australia, and he's in Sweden! Difficult, this would be. @.@

[Asta Kask]

You can at least tell me how your eyes met in a crowded chatroom... :smalltongue:

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Trouble in paradise. :smallannoyed:

Good news: Exactly as planned, I surprised the boyfriend, "J", by driving over to his university on Tuesday, exchanged gifts, did lunch, met a bunch of his friends, and otherwise had a great time. Turns out he'd actually been planning to drive over and surprise me, but fortunately he'd been planning to visit for dinner so I got there first. It would have been quite an interesting day if we'd both aimed for lunch and missed each other on the road! :smallbiggrin:

Bad news: J's older brother, "R", heard through a mutual friend at J's university that J had Valentine's Day plans with a new "special someone" and called J last night to ask how the day had gone. J was sort of put on the spot and did his best to edit out gender references, but apparently R got a bit suspicious hearing lots of "significant other" and "they" in J's recounting of the day's events but no "girlfriend" and "she." He pressed J on it and J, being a terrible liar, eventually admitted the truth. Well, we'd both kind of hoped that the cooler-and-seemingly-more-progressive-than-his-parents R would be fine with it when J eventually came out to him, but it turns out that he's not quite that open-minded. After arguing and yelling for a bit and throwing a bunch of slurs around, R threatened to tell their parents and hung up on him, and refused to pick up when J tried to call him back a few times to talk about it.

Fortunately, R doesn't talk to their parents that much anymore, and according to J his threat was phrased closer to "I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad before you bring some f***** home..." rather than being couched in "pray the gay away" terms, so we're fervently hoping that this was just the knee-jerk reaction of shock and disgust of a stereotypical frat boy (or that he was just joking, highly unlikely) and that he won't actually tell their folks. Best case, J has to talk to his parents about this way before he's ready to; worst case, well, his parents are currently paying most of his college tuition....

Further bulletins as events warrant. :smallfrown:

[Asta Kask]

Why do people make it their business to control what other people do with their genitals? *sigh*

Hopefully the storm will pass. If not, we're here for you Pair'o'Dice. Hugses and glompses abound.

Triscuitable - but then we'd need to know your address...

[KenderWizard]

Well, in that case it was "cis" and "non-trans". I was kind of wondering about that too but didn't want to be the one to point it out.
But then, I was anyway. Darn you and your being me!

:smallwink:


Random aside. Anyone else start looking for a footnote when they see that asterisk?

Every time!


*that terrible Adam Sandler movie*

I was so angry when I saw the ad for that. Actually, first, I was angry from a feminist standpoint because I didn't get that the "hilariously ugly twin sister" was him as well (it was a picture on the side of a bus going past). I thought they were just going for "ugly women are hilariously disgusting", which is also way problematic. But no, apparently they're going for "ugly women are hilariously disgusting, and what's more ugly than a MAN dressed up as a woman!" :smallannoyed:

[Heliomance]

Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

[The Succubus]

Skeppio, Marcus - we need romantic pictures and sappy stories stat!

I may actually have idea there....if I can get the time to do it in Inkscape. :smallwink:

[Arachu]

*Hugs PairO'Dice Lost*


I just realized something... [morebackstory]I used to be really fond of making some fake accent or another growing up. I couldn't figure out which one it was supposed to be, but it felt much more relaxing and easy to use (for short periods of time) than my normal voice.

Thanks to the guide that Astrella linked (thanks again, by the way :smallbiggrin:), it occurs to me that that "accent" was 'girl'. I made it by resonating the sound in my mouth and nasal cavity, and sometimes tightening my vocal chords a bit.

I thought I grew up cut off from my gender... But now I realize I was dimly aware of it. I... Survived, as it were.

I feel a lot better for realizing that. :smallamused: :smallbiggrin:

[Mina Kobold]

Trouble in paradise. :smallannoyed:

Good news: Exactly as planned, I surprised the boyfriend, "J", by driving over to his university on Tuesday, exchanged gifts, did lunch, met a bunch of his friends, and otherwise had a great time. Turns out he'd actually been planning to drive over and surprise me, but fortunately he'd been planning to visit for dinner so I got there first. It would have been quite an interesting day if we'd both aimed for lunch and missed each other on the road! :smallbiggrin:

Bad news: J's older brother, "R", heard through a mutual friend at J's university that J had Valentine's Day plans with a new "special someone" and called J last night to ask how the day had gone. J was sort of put on the spot and did his best to edit out gender references, but apparently R got a bit suspicious hearing lots of "significant other" and "they" in J's recounting of the day's events but no "girlfriend" and "she." He pressed J on it and J, being a terrible liar, eventually admitted the truth. Well, we'd both kind of hoped that the cooler-and-seemingly-more-progressive-than-his-parents R would be fine with it when J eventually came out to him, but it turns out that he's not quite that open-minded. After arguing and yelling for a bit and throwing a bunch of slurs around, R threatened to tell their parents and hung up on him, and refused to pick up when J tried to call him back a few times to talk about it.

Fortunately, R doesn't talk to their parents that much anymore, and according to J his threat was phrased closer to "I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad before you bring some f***** home..." rather than being couched in "pray the gay away" terms, so we're fervently hoping that this was just the knee-jerk reaction of shock and disgust of a stereotypical frat boy (or that he was just joking, highly unlikely) and that he won't actually tell their folks. Best case, J has to talk to his parents about this way before he's ready to; worst case, well, his parents are currently paying most of his college tuition....

Further bulletins as events warrant. :smallfrown:

*Hugs PairO'Dice and J*

That is sad, I really hope R realises how much harm such prejudice will cause for no good reason. ;_;

*Hugs again*


Why do people make it their business to control what other people do with their genitals? *sigh*

Maybe there is a secret conspiracy that control politics and information who aim to breed the ultimate soldier and/or fast-food employee? :3

Or it is the outdated but persistent cultural traits that we are fighting to stop through hugs and compassion. A task all of this thread has done wonders do proceed. :smallsmile:


Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

It is sad that there is still such opposition to separating gender and clothing, I hope it will improve much thanks to the people like the ones in this article. :smallfrown::smallsmile:

It does explain why wearing a wizard's robe got me odd looks, though. Well, besides for being a Kobold. :smalltongue:

[pffh]

Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

For the love of something no one read the comments they are just :smallfurious: even compared to the article.

[SiuiS]

It depends on the context I suppose.

Interesting tidbit here... the webcomic Rain just recently had a Halloween party in which one of her gay friends dressed up as a girl. Rain was *particularly* displeased over this. So the rule isn't so much that cis-people should not portray transgendered folks, but any non-trans people should not do so.

Though I hate to think of "rules" in that way. The best policy is if you're going to do such a thing, you should probably touch base with your trans* friends first to let them know your intentions. At least that's *my* take on things. Others can and probably do feel differently.

Neat! It was still gearing up into it when I got to the end. I'll has to catch up.

The comic specifically had the gay friend decide that beig a girl sounded like fun so he would try it out at a party. Rain has to listen to all the folks make strange connections between transsexual, gay and female, and worry abou. What they all think of her while listening to it. Her friend is basically springig every social trap she has gracefully danced around, and that's got to be hell on one's nerves.


Random aside. Anyone else start looking for a footnote when they see that asterisk?

It does throw me off, aye. I believe they said its a placeholder like a variable, so you don't have to specify exactly how you mean "trans", but it's such an odd affectation...


Can I pick the delectable brains of the trans people here?

I see in the cinema that there's another film out where a comedy actor dresses up as woman and pretends to act out dreadful stereotypes of female behaviour. (It's Adam Sandler this time, although the name of the film escapes me). I used to just find these films woefully unfunny (Norbert & Big Mommas House spring to mind and the brain bleach follows soon after :smallannoyed:) but now I think about some of the awesome trans-folks in this thread and I actually find the concept of the film offensive.

I think it's partly because it enforces negative stereotypes but mainly because it plays the whole idea of transgenderism and gender confusion for laughs. There are many things worth laughing at in this world. This isn't one of them. :smallannoyed:

Is this a sentiment shared by yourselves or am I getting uppity for no reason?

I think you're missing the point, there. Assuming this has anything to do with cross dressing or trans stuff is reading too much into it; IC wise the two are just creepily identical fraternal twins, but the one played by Sandler in drag is actually female. It saves on having to hire another actor with the same sense of humor.


WHAT?

I can't believe they're just going to generalize us! Autism, Fragile-X, Aspberger's...

This is awful. :smallfrown: Now I'm just going to be known as someone with Autism. There won't even be an Autism Spectrum...

Having it reclassified doesn't change what you already know, mate. Just keep informing people, you know? Odds are they would listen to you over a more general source of knowledge.


I seem to only be able to read your username as "Spekkio". I wonder why... http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090305013619/chrono/images/3/31/Spekkio_%28second_form%29.png

Ugh, I finally realized what's been eating at me lately. I need someone I can trust, so I can hug them.

I know that feeling, friend.


But I'm in Australia, and he's in Sweden! Difficult, this would be. @.@

Photoshop, however, has a solution!


Trouble in paradise. :smallannoyed:

Good news: Exactly as planned, I surprised the boyfriend, "J", by driving over to his university on Tuesday, exchanged gifts, did lunch, met a bunch of his friends, and otherwise had a great time. Turns out he'd actually been planning to drive over and surprise me, but fortunately he'd been planning to visit for dinner so I got there first. It would have been quite an interesting day if we'd both aimed for lunch and missed each other on the road! :smallbiggrin:

Bad news: J's older brother, "R", heard through a mutual friend at J's university that J had Valentine's Day plans with a new "special someone" and called J last night to ask how the day had gone. J was sort of put on the spot and did his best to edit out gender references, but apparently R got a bit suspicious hearing lots of "significant other" and "they" in J's recounting of the day's events but no "girlfriend" and "she." He pressed J on it and J, being a terrible liar, eventually admitted the truth. Well, we'd both kind of hoped that the cooler-and-seemingly-more-progressive-than-his-parents R would be fine with it when J eventually came out to him, but it turns out that he's not quite that open-minded. After arguing and yelling for a bit and throwing a bunch of slurs around, R threatened to tell their parents and hung up on him, and refused to pick up when J tried to call him back a few times to talk about it.

Fortunately, R doesn't talk to their parents that much anymore, and according to J his threat was phrased closer to "I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad before you bring some f***** home..." rather than being couched in "pray the gay away" terms, so we're fervently hoping that this was just the knee-jerk reaction of shock and disgust of a stereotypical frat boy (or that he was just joking, highly unlikely) and that he won't actually tell their folks. Best case, J has to talk to his parents about this way before he's ready to; worst case, well, his parents are currently paying most of his college tuition....

Further bulletins as events warrant. :smallfrown:

First, I'm glad things went over so well. I had the secret fear that your surprise gesture would be actively unappreciated. So that it worked out so charmingly is nice.

As for the brother... I don't know. I simply don't know. Good luck, friend. Hope you find safe harbor, as it were.

[Mono Vertigo]

First, hugs to everyone who needs it. :smallfrown:
*friendly hug!*


Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

[Heliomance]

For the love of something no one read the comments they are just :smallfurious: even compared to the article.

Personally, I just found the comments :smallconfused:-worthy.

The thing that made me rage was this bit:
"Gender is determined by objective biological facts and not by a person's feelings, no matter how strong they may be. Rather than encouraging children to become what they are not, we need to help them recognise and accept what they are.

[Asta Kask]

Yeah I tweeted that. It's a pretty big facepalm moment and from what I understand, it's something trans people get all the time. And it's just not true.


"Rather than encouraging children to become what they are not, we need to help them recognise and accept what they are."

I completely agree with this second part, though. Don't try to force a trans person to live as their assigned gender. Although I suspect that's not what they mean... :smallwink:

[Arachu]

Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

:smallbiggrin:


The thing that made me rage was this bit:

When I reached that bit, I thought about neurology and thought "well, yeah". :roach:

Still got angry about the implications, though... As far as I've observed, the gender divide only serves to deepen gender confusion. It doesn't help that said divide can't make up its own 'mind' regarding who should be 'what'. :/

[Mono Vertigo]

And how the frag do these cretins recognize what someone is? Do they check everyone's genitals? What would be their reaction if they were told their chromosomes actually didn't match their genitals because of any widely-recognized disorder, or doctors administered them "treatment" at a young age so they would look like girls (or boys) instead of mutilated/abnormal boys (or girls)? :smallannoyed:

[Asta Kask]

How would you integrate LGBTA people into a fantasy campaign world? Sure, you could have them just have no social stigma and live as everyone else, but I find that boring. Probably because I've never experienced said stigma myself.

But do you have any suggestions?

Here's one I dreamt up:

Among the Bolmanai, a child is taken to the village shaman on the ninth night of the child's life. The shaman sits with the child all night long and meditates. When the morning comes he reveals to the father and the mother what the child's True Name is. That name reveals the essence of the child and what the child's destiny is.

Or that's what happens most times. Sometimes the spirits mumble and sometimes the shaman doesn't listen as well as he should. He gives the child a false name, and the result is a conflict in the child. He will be more susceptible to possession by evil spirits, he will have bad luck and he will believe that he actually is a woman. And the same for women except for the last part.

When it is discovered that the child has 'a Troubled Name' the village will gather to discuss what should be done with the child. Often the child is burned or put out into the wilderness to die of exposure. After all, who would want a conduit for evil spirits in the village?

But there are stories of Troubled Names who have been loved by their village. These children will inevitably leave the village when they're 15, to search for their real True Name. Maybe they will have to ask the oldest dragon in the world for it. Or maybe they will have to seek out the cottage of the three Weavers, who rule men's fates. And when they find their true name, something glorious happens. The power of the name is so strong that it reshapes their bodies into the image they have carried with them for so long. Some of the greatest heroes of the Bolmanai have been Troubled Names.

[Arachu]

Then there's the matter of how they expect to reinforce this policy - what do they plan to do, sue parents for 'not raising their kids right'? That'll go down well...


@Asta: I like that idea.. I'm thinking something along the lines of a 'two-spirited' background - I'll have to see if I'm awake enough after the gym to elaborate.

[Heliomance]

How would you integrate LGBTA people into a fantasy campaign world? Sure, you could have them just have no social stigma and live as everyone else, but I find that boring. Probably because I've never experienced said stigma myself.

But do you have any suggestions?

I'm currently playing a transgirl in a game. None of the party - or the GM for that matter - know she's trans though. She's an illusionist, a damn good one, and constantly has a disguise spell up. She's made friends enough with one of the other characters that he knows she's got a secret, and that the name she's using isn't the one she was born with, but that's all.

[noparlpf]

As much as I appreciate it, I mean a physical hug.

Thing is, I really have contact issues. So a hug is actually a huge step forward in a relationship for me.

I just keep wondering what it's like to want a hug. I'm in control of myself enough to (usually) ignore the contact issues and hug people when they want me to, but I don't get anything out of it.


Trouble in paradise. :smallannoyed:

Good news: Exactly as planned, I surprised the boyfriend, "J", by driving over to his university on Tuesday, exchanged gifts, did lunch, met a bunch of his friends, and otherwise had a great time. Turns out he'd actually been planning to drive over and surprise me, but fortunately he'd been planning to visit for dinner so I got there first. It would have been quite an interesting day if we'd both aimed for lunch and missed each other on the road! :smallbiggrin:

Bad news: J's older brother, "R", heard through a mutual friend at J's university that J had Valentine's Day plans with a new "special someone" and called J last night to ask how the day had gone. J was sort of put on the spot and did his best to edit out gender references, but apparently R got a bit suspicious hearing lots of "significant other" and "they" in J's recounting of the day's events but no "girlfriend" and "she." He pressed J on it and J, being a terrible liar, eventually admitted the truth. Well, we'd both kind of hoped that the cooler-and-seemingly-more-progressive-than-his-parents R would be fine with it when J eventually came out to him, but it turns out that he's not quite that open-minded. After arguing and yelling for a bit and throwing a bunch of slurs around, R threatened to tell their parents and hung up on him, and refused to pick up when J tried to call him back a few times to talk about it.

Fortunately, R doesn't talk to their parents that much anymore, and according to J his threat was phrased closer to "I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad before you bring some f***** home..." rather than being couched in "pray the gay away" terms, so we're fervently hoping that this was just the knee-jerk reaction of shock and disgust of a stereotypical frat boy (or that he was just joking, highly unlikely) and that he won't actually tell their folks. Best case, J has to talk to his parents about this way before he's ready to; worst case, well, his parents are currently paying most of his college tuition....

Further bulletins as events warrant. :smallfrown:

I'm glad the day went well!
And I'm sorry about the prejudiced family. (I think I remember you saying that you guys have really prejudiced, religious families, right?) Good luck.


Why do people make it their business to control what other people do with their genitals? *sigh*

Hopefully the storm will pass. If not, we're here for you Pair'o'Dice. Hugses and glompses abound.

Triscuitable - but then we'd need to know your address...

Why do people make it their business to control what other people do? I've always thought that as long as what somebody's doing doesn't hurt anybody, it's fine.


Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

Back in high school, a guy I knew wore a skirt one day (over his jeans). Before he'd taken three steps in the door, one of the administrators told him to take it off or he'd get suspended (or something).
And the school didn't even have a dress code except for the basic "don't wear things that are too revealing or that have offensive words on them".


For the love of something no one read the comments they are just :smallfurious: even compared to the article.

Well, I didn't even get through the article because I knew where it was going.


Personally, I just found the comments :smallconfused:-worthy.

The thing that made me rage was this bit:

Yeah, that's where I stopped reading.


Yeah I tweeted that. It's a pretty big facepalm moment and from what I understand, it's something trans people get all the time. And it's just not true.

I completely agree with this second part, though. Don't try to force a trans person to live as their assigned gender. Although I suspect that's not what they mean... :smallwink:

The reason that passage bothered me so much is because of the ridiculous irony of it. The second part is totally accurate, but it's being used in such a way.


First, hugs to everyone who needs it. :smallfrown:
*friendly hug!*

Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

That's good. Someone I know does have visible scars. Good to hear he's healing up well.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Wait, one sec. What's the difference between "non-cis" and "trans"? Is the gay guy neither trans nor cis? Because cis people can be gay, so is there something else about him?

Sorry for the confusion, Kender. This was my fault. I was referring to "non-cis" as non-cisgendered and non-cissexual (if there is such a thing). I was trying to save space and keep my post as brief as possible, but sacrificed clarity in doing so (and possibly making up words along the way). I'm embarrassed at having been caught, and I apologize. :smallredface:


I'm feeling really down today.

I've had a history with girls. A bad one. They don't take me seriously, think all my ticks are just me being weird.

Recently, I've begun to like girls. As in, like-like them. But not the like-like-like, just date-and-kiss like. Going further is beyond my comfort zone. So, uh, asexuality doesn't fit my bill anymore. I suppose being at a school with three four girls and thirty-seven guys isn't exactly going to help in teenage development.

Anyways, I met a girl who seemed really nice, really interested in me.

Little did I know all she did was make sarcastic comments about interest in me, and talk about how "weird" I was behind my back. Yeah, I'm getting mocked for my Asperger's, again. Like I didn't leave a school to go to another before, right? Right?

This isn't the first time it's happened either. At my last public school, the same thing happened. Only she made an effort to avoid me once she found I returned to a public school once again.

If I was there hon, I promise I would give you a big hug. I'm so sorry you were treated so horribly. Teenagers can be *so* mean to each other as they seek approval of their peers. You don't deserve this sort of treatment.


First, hugs to everyone who needs it. :smallfrown:
*friendly hug!*


Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

I somehow missed your bf having an operation. Congratulations to you both. This is a wonderful story. :)

[Astrella]

Can I pick the delectable brains of the trans people here?

I see in the cinema that there's another film out where a comedy actor dresses up as woman and pretends to act out dreadful stereotypes of female behaviour. (It's Adam Sandler this time, although the name of the film escapes me). I used to just find these films woefully unfunny (Norbert & Big Mommas House spring to mind and the brain bleach follows soon after :smallannoyed:) but now I think about some of the awesome trans-folks in this thread and I actually find the concept of the film offensive.

I think it's partly because it enforces negative stereotypes but mainly because it plays the whole idea of transgenderism and gender confusion for laughs. There are many things worth laughing at in this world. This isn't one of them. :smallannoyed:

Is this a sentiment shared by yourselves or am I getting uppity for no reason?

Oh definitely, and it's also quite gender policing. And even worse, it's bad comedy. Apparently just the image of a guy in a dress is comedy enough to carry a film / episode according to some writers. "Guy in dress, hilarious!" :/


I'm feeling really down today.

I've had a history with girls. A bad one. They don't take me seriously, think all my ticks are just me being weird.

Recently, I've begun to like girls. As in, like-like them. But not the like-like-like, just date-and-kiss like. Going further is beyond my comfort zone. So, uh, asexuality doesn't fit my bill anymore. I suppose being at a school with three four girls and thirty-seven guys isn't exactly going to help in teenage development.

Anyways, I met a girl who seemed really nice, really interested in me.

Little did I know all she did was make sarcastic comments about interest in me, and talk about how "weird" I was behind my back. Yeah, I'm getting mocked for my Asperger's, again. Like I didn't leave a school to go to another before, right? Right?

This isn't the first time it's happened either. At my last public school, the same thing happened. Only she made an effort to avoid me once she found I returned to a public school once again.

Ugh. That really sucks. I have a strong distaste for backhanded people. :s
Hope you won't let it tear you down too much.


My sympathies. That stinks.
But look on the bright side. In a few months, you won't have Asperger's anymore. In the DSM-V, it's just autism.

*insert rant about DSM*


I need some bloody hugs today... :smallsigh:
My depression seems to be 'hitting' less and less frequently (and over shorter periods of time), but it's also hitting me harder... I've been insulting myself rather thoroughly lately, and now that I think about it I've been having trouble being able to tell whether I'm hungry all week.

I was doing okay today (however rough my sleep apparently was)... Until I found a quiz (from the Sun) with the title "tran or woman" (yes, "tran" :smallannoyed:). The intro said something about 'woman-detecting skills', along with asking the reader whether they can tell between "genders"...

Oh dear, I remember seeing that. :c
Can we all just agree that the Sun is a horrible newspaper not even worth using as kindling?


I seem to only be able to read your username as "Spekkio". I wonder why... http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090305013619/chrono/images/3/31/Spekkio_%28second_form%29.png

Ugh, I finally realized what's been eating at me lately. I need someone I can trust, so I can hug them.

Chrono Trigger! :3 (Still haven't finished that yet. ;.;)

Yeah, I can feel that. Sometimes just a good hug beats all the other support you can get.


Trouble in paradise. :smallannoyed:

Good news: Exactly as planned, I surprised the boyfriend, "J", by driving over to his university on Tuesday, exchanged gifts, did lunch, met a bunch of his friends, and otherwise had a great time. Turns out he'd actually been planning to drive over and surprise me, but fortunately he'd been planning to visit for dinner so I got there first. It would have been quite an interesting day if we'd both aimed for lunch and missed each other on the road! :smallbiggrin:

Bad news: J's older brother, "R", heard through a mutual friend at J's university that J had Valentine's Day plans with a new "special someone" and called J last night to ask how the day had gone. J was sort of put on the spot and did his best to edit out gender references, but apparently R got a bit suspicious hearing lots of "significant other" and "they" in J's recounting of the day's events but no "girlfriend" and "she." He pressed J on it and J, being a terrible liar, eventually admitted the truth. Well, we'd both kind of hoped that the cooler-and-seemingly-more-progressive-than-his-parents R would be fine with it when J eventually came out to him, but it turns out that he's not quite that open-minded. After arguing and yelling for a bit and throwing a bunch of slurs around, R threatened to tell their parents and hung up on him, and refused to pick up when J tried to call him back a few times to talk about it.

Fortunately, R doesn't talk to their parents that much anymore, and according to J his threat was phrased closer to "I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad before you bring some f***** home..." rather than being couched in "pray the gay away" terms, so we're fervently hoping that this was just the knee-jerk reaction of shock and disgust of a stereotypical frat boy (or that he was just joking, highly unlikely) and that he won't actually tell their folks. Best case, J has to talk to his parents about this way before he's ready to; worst case, well, his parents are currently paying most of his college tuition....

Further bulletins as events warrant. :smallfrown:

Ugh, that's really frustrating. I hope it works out well.


[COLOR="Navy"]I just realized something... [morebackstory][spoiler]I used to be really fond of making some fake accent or another growing up. I couldn't figure out which one it was supposed to be, but it felt much more relaxing and easy to use (for short periods of time) than my normal voice.

Thanks to the guide that Astrella linked (thanks again, by the way :smallbiggrin:), it occurs to me that that "accent" was 'girl'. I made it by resonating the sound in my mouth and nasal cavity, and sometimes tightening my vocal chords a bit.

I thought I grew up cut off from my gender... But now I realize I was dimly aware of it. I... Survived, as it were.

I feel a lot better for realizing that. :smallamused: :smallbiggrin:

I've been having thoughts like that too; things like looking back at stuff I used to do and connecting them. (Like, I'm fairly certain I go to the bathroom sitting because that's how girls did it. :s )


It does throw me off, aye. I believe they said its a placeholder like a variable, so you don't have to specify exactly how you mean "trans", but it's such an odd affectation...

Hm hm. I think it's a specific reference to * in programming, where it's used as a catch all in most languages.


Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

That's awesome!

And swimming is like, the best.

--------------------------------------

So, got a mail from therapist to call the reception. Did that this morning and the first offer for an appointment that I got was already tomorrow. :smalleek:
I couldn't go with that one because I have classes, but I have an appointment next Wednesday evening now. (It really surprised me how quick it went, considering it took three months between calling and going to first appointment last time. Maybe it's cause I already went once?)

---------------------------------------

Random links:
Doing it Right – Playstation: The Official Magazine Handles Transphobic Hate Speech (http://borderhouseblog.com/?p=7814)
Tumbling Up The Light Cone (http://nikkinerd.blogspot.com/) (A trans woman telling her story.)
Tranifesto (http://tranifesto.com/) (Maybe a tad more oriented towards trans men specifically, but talks about a lot of LGBT-related stuff. It mostly works by a question-submitted form.)

[Asta Kask]

Maybe you just got lucky. Gratz, I suppose.

[Castaras]

How would you integrate LGBTA people into a fantasy campaign world? Sure, you could have them just have no social stigma and live as everyone else, but I find that boring. Probably because I've never experienced said stigma myself.

Not a fantasy campaign world, but in one of the later Tamora Pierce books there was a small off-hand section (time to attempt to get pronouns right without insulting people or causing confusion...*deepbreath*) pertaining to a character who had male genitals, and would go up on stage dressed as female - and the reasoning behind her trans stuff was that it was a cruel trick played by the Trickster god of putting a female into a male body. There's also a couple of lesbians as well.

[Mono Vertigo]

Thanks for the kind words! :smallredface:
I on the other hand rather dislike swimming. I learnt so late, which turned it into an endless source of embarrassment for me, and being submerged makes me nervous. Plus, I feel massively awkward in a swimsuit. Not as awkward as he felt until now, of course. Ah well, the important thing is that he can do what he likes freely.


@Triscuitable: [EXPLETIVE] them. There are few things that combine stupidity, cruelty and egoism better than (many) teenagers*. They have nothing better to do than mock people who don't conform to their extremely narrow views. Nothing. You can freely despise this girl and her friends. She's a [EXPLETIVE]. Her opinion of you doesn't matter.


*to every teenager reading this thread: no, if you're reading this, this opinion doesn't apply to you. And I was a teenager too. I know what I'm talking about.

[Astrella]

Oh, it seems I've been reading comments by you for quite a while now on Natalie's blog, it just didn't click until today, Asta.

[Asta Kask]

I've done my best to pimp the thread, haven't I? :smallwink:

I would love it if Natalie came here as well; I want all my friends in one, big, happy glompheap. I'd invite her to the SGU forums as well, but she has already been there and was run off by a mass of idiots who claimed that they had an absolute right to insult her. :smallfurious:

[noparlpf]

Thanks for the kind words! :smallredface:
I on the other hand rather dislike swimming. I learnt so late, which turned it into an endless source of embarrassment for me, and being submerged makes me nervous. Plus, I feel massively awkward in a swimsuit. Not as awkward as he felt until now, of course. Ah well, the important thing is that he can do what he likes freely.


@Triscuitable: [EXPLETIVE] them. There are few things that combine stupidity, cruelty and egoism better than (many) teenagers*. They have nothing better to do than mock people who don't conform to their extremely narrow views. Nothing. You can freely despise this girl and her friends. She's a [EXPLETIVE]. Her opinion of you doesn't matter.


*to every teenager reading this thread: no, if you're reading this, this opinion doesn't apply to you. And I was a teenager too. I know what I'm talking about.

I had a decent high school experience, but I did occasionally run into people like that, and my little brother had a miserable middle school experience. He's probably a little more normal than I am, but I'm better at hiding how weird I am, and my charisma is higher. But yeah, teenagers can be mean; because they're so insecure, they feel the need to put others down in an attempt to make themselves feel better.

[golentan]

I had a decent high school experience, but I did occasionally run into people like that, and my little brother had a miserable middle school experience. He's probably a little more normal than I am, but I'm better at hiding how weird I am, and my charisma is higher. But yeah, teenagers can be mean; because they're so insecure, they feel the need to put others down in an attempt to make themselves feel better.

High school and Middle School are the reason I've had so much trouble coming to grips with my sexuality. I was sexually assaulted (not raped) by another male student almost every day for 2 years while the school staff did nothing. And when it came out, people started using homophobic slurs and vicious personal attacks... against me, claiming I had enjoyed it and asking if I was sad my "boyfriend" was gone. I never came closer to losing my vow of nonviolence as those years.

As a coda, a couple months back one of my tormentors recognized and approached me in the street. He started being all buddy-buddy, and I stopped him cold and said "I hate you for what you put me through, remember?"

[noparlpf]

High school and Middle School are the reason I've had so much trouble coming to grips with my sexuality. I was sexually assaulted (not raped) by another male student almost every day for 2 years while the school staff did nothing. And when it came out, people started using homophobic slurs and vicious personal attacks... against me, claiming I had enjoyed it and asking if I was sad my "boyfriend" was gone. I never came closer to losing my vow of nonviolence as those years.

As a coda, a couple months back one of my tormentors recognized and approached me in the street. He started being all buddy-buddy, and I stopped him cold and said "I hate you for what you put me through, remember?"

Ooh. I'm sorry. That's really rough. What the heck is wrong with people?

[golentan]

Ooh. I'm sorry. That's really rough. What the heck is wrong with people?

I don't know, but it makes it really hard to stay objective when people insist on tormenting the person auditing humanity. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MuggingTheMonster)

[Asta Kask]

You have to remember that golentan is from another planet. That would never happen on Earth.

[Mono Vertigo]

High school and Middle School are the reason I've had so much trouble coming to grips with my sexuality. I was sexually assaulted (not raped) by another male student almost every day for 2 years while the school staff did nothing. And when it came out, people started using homophobic slurs and vicious personal attacks... against me, claiming I had enjoyed it and asking if I was sad my "boyfriend" was gone. I never came closer to losing my vow of nonviolence as those years.

As a coda, a couple months back one of my tormentors recognized and approached me in the street. He started being all buddy-buddy, and I stopped him cold and said "I hate you for what you put me through, remember?"
Scratch what I said previously, that's so much worse than the average teenager I don't know where to begin.
:smallfurious:
That's one of the reasons I'm not too good at/fond of technical pacifism. In your place, I would have punched his teeth off, or at least tried, and I would have enjoyed it and thought it was well-deserved, even though I'm aware that's not a very good solution.

[Arachu]

*Vice-hugs Golentan, quietly vowing to rearrange those ********' faces should the opportunity ever arise*


Oh dear, I remember seeing that. :c
Can we all just agree that the Sun is a horrible newspaper not even worth using as kindling?

I hadn't actually heard of the Sun before yesterday (I got linked to the quiz through some blog or another)... Judging by what I've heard in that time, it probably isn't safe to burn in the first place (the fumes are bound to suffocate you or take over your body or something).

Seriously though, it's like they designed that to tick me off... :/


Chrono Trigger! :3 (Still haven't finished that yet. ;.;)

I still haven't played that yet... I should do that at some point... -.-


I've been having thoughts like that too; things like looking back at stuff I used to do and connecting them. (Like, I'm fairly certain I go to the bathroom sitting because that's how girls did it. :s )

I did that for a while - I was pretty sure I was saving time at the time, but I was also sure that I was tying my jackets around my waist so I could have a better place to keep them. :smalltongue:

The externalization, on the other hand, isn't very ambiguous at all... Almost surprised that I didn't notice it then. :mitd:

Noticing these things makes my teen years even more depressing (I just sort of gave up on most everything but the accent, and that deteriorated to a raspier version of my usual tone >.<), but they make my childhood much less horrifying... Despite everything, I was always 'me'. :smallsmile:

What's more, it means that the only reason I'm this way is because I wasn't able to be any other 'way'... For once, I feel like I can change. I almost forgot how it feels to hope. :haley:


So, got a mail from therapist to call the reception. Did that this morning and the first offer for an appointment that I got was already tomorrow. :smalleek:
I couldn't go with that one because I have classes, but I have an appointment next Wednesday evening now. (It really surprised me how quick it went, considering it took three months between calling and going to first appointment last time. Maybe it's cause I already went once?)

Good to know it's going so smoothly this time. :smallbiggrin:

[H Birchgrove]

Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

Now I feel like getting a kilt for spring... :smallwink:


Personally, I just found the comments :smallconfused:-worthy.

The comments on cancer on male genitalia were interesting though.


The thing that made me rage was this bit:

Yeah, that was incredibly simple-minded and dogmatic. *le sigh*

:smallconfused: Even if gender and sexual orientation was something you "chose", why would it be so terrible if some dudes wanted to have hanky panky with other dudes, if some ladies wanted to cuddle with other ladies, if some dudes wanted to be feminine, if some ladies wanted to be masculine, etc? (Sorry for leaving out those who aren't represented by the traditional binary genders.)


And yet Tootsie and Mrs Doubtfire are both excellent films.

Indeed they are.

So is, IMO, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, but I can see why some viewers have trouble with it. (I remember getting very confused about the differences between being a transsexual, being a drag queen/cross-dresser, and being a male homosexual, when I first saw it as a kid.)


First, hugs to everyone who needs it. :smallfrown:
*friendly hug!*


Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

That's awesome; I wish him the best of luck! :smallbiggrin:


WHAT?

I can't believe they're just going to generalize us! Autism, Fragile-X, Aspberger's...

This is awful. :smallfrown: Now I'm just going to be known as someone with Autism. There won't even be an Autism Spectrum...

If it's part of your identity, it must feel terrible... :smallfrown: *imma being captain obvious, don't mean to insult*


I need some bloody hugs today... :smallsigh:
My depression seems to be 'hitting' less and less frequently (and over shorter periods of time), but it's also hitting me harder... I've been insulting myself rather thoroughly lately, and now that I think about it I've been having trouble being able to tell whether I'm hungry all week.

I was doing okay today (however rough my sleep apparently was)... Until I found a quiz (from the Sun) with the title "tran or woman" (yes, "tran" :smallannoyed:). The intro said something about 'woman-detecting skills', along with asking the reader whether they can tell between "genders"...

... And all of the ratings were shaving puns.

I came this close to sending them an email stating only "**** you".

Feels like I headbutted a cinderblock... :smallsigh:

There's nothing wrong with sending angry e-mails, as long as the receiver deserves them!


*Hugs PairO'Dice Lost*


I just realized something... [morebackstory]I used to be really fond of making some fake accent or another growing up. I couldn't figure out which one it was supposed to be, but it felt much more relaxing and easy to use (for short periods of time) than my normal voice.

Thanks to the guide that Astrella linked (thanks again, by the way :smallbiggrin:), it occurs to me that that "accent" was 'girl'. I made it by resonating the sound in my mouth and nasal cavity, and sometimes tightening my vocal chords a bit.

I thought I grew up cut off from my gender... But now I realize I was dimly aware of it. I... Survived, as it were.

I feel a lot better for realizing that. :smallamused: :smallbiggrin:

That's great! I'd love to hear bot of your voices! :smallbiggrin: (I was looking at candiFLA videos yesterday... :smallredface: )



Well, a support thread like this isn't anywhere near as good as a therapist but it's better than nothing I suppose. Have you told your parents about how bad you feel? Because I find it hard to figure parents who don't really care about how their son feels... perhaps I was just lucky.

I'll just repeat my broken record:
We're your friends
If you cry, we'll comfort you
If you stumble, we'll steady you
If you fall, we'll help you up

I love that record! :smallbiggrin:


Skeppio, Marcus - we need romantic pictures and sappy stories stat!


You can at least tell me how your eyes met in a crowded chatroom... :smalltongue:

I dunno... I'll have to talk with Skeppio first. :smallredface:


I may actually have idea there....if I can get the time to do it in Inkscape. :smallwink:

The Succubus, I love you so much. :smallredface: :smallbiggrin:

(In a platonic way, of course. :smallwink: )


Trouble in paradise. :smallannoyed:

Good news: Exactly as planned, I surprised the boyfriend, "J", by driving over to his university on Tuesday, exchanged gifts, did lunch, met a bunch of his friends, and otherwise had a great time. Turns out he'd actually been planning to drive over and surprise me, but fortunately he'd been planning to visit for dinner so I got there first. It would have been quite an interesting day if we'd both aimed for lunch and missed each other on the road! :smallbiggrin:

Bad news: J's older brother, "R", heard through a mutual friend at J's university that J had Valentine's Day plans with a new "special someone" and called J last night to ask how the day had gone. J was sort of put on the spot and did his best to edit out gender references, but apparently R got a bit suspicious hearing lots of "significant other" and "they" in J's recounting of the day's events but no "girlfriend" and "she." He pressed J on it and J, being a terrible liar, eventually admitted the truth. Well, we'd both kind of hoped that the cooler-and-seemingly-more-progressive-than-his-parents R would be fine with it when J eventually came out to him, but it turns out that he's not quite that open-minded. After arguing and yelling for a bit and throwing a bunch of slurs around, R threatened to tell their parents and hung up on him, and refused to pick up when J tried to call him back a few times to talk about it.

Fortunately, R doesn't talk to their parents that much anymore, and according to J his threat was phrased closer to "I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad before you bring some f***** home..." rather than being couched in "pray the gay away" terms, so we're fervently hoping that this was just the knee-jerk reaction of shock and disgust of a stereotypical frat boy (or that he was just joking, highly unlikely) and that he won't actually tell their folks. Best case, J has to talk to his parents about this way before he's ready to; worst case, well, his parents are currently paying most of his college tuition....

Further bulletins as events warrant. :smallfrown:

This is saddening. I hope R will gain more wisdom and see the errors in his point of view.

[Serpentine]

And yet Tootsie and Mrs Doubtfire are both excellent films.I did a gender studies class on men in film, and it ruined those movies for me. They're good movies and better issues-wise than some, for sure. But now I can't watch them without constantly noticing two big things:
1. The constant "reminders" of how they're not actually women. There's always the "costuming" scene, where the persona is constructed - "see, this is how the man turns into a woman. You can see he's still in there, it's just a costume" - and constant "almost sprung" and similar points where the "man-face" sneaks through - "it's okay, he's still a dude!"
2. The treatment of homosexual relationships. There's always a guy who falls for the "woman", and then there's lots of awkwardness and laughs - "this guy thinks he's straight, but he's actually randy for a dude!". There's another aspect though, specifically in Tootsie, where a woman found herself falling for the "woman", and there's much awkwardness and confusion because she thinks she's experiencing lesbian attractions, but then it's revealed that the other woman is really a man and oh relief! It's okay! It was actually heterosexual urges!

So yeah. Gender Studies Will Ruin Your Life :/ :smalltongue:

As a coda, a couple months back one of my tormentors recognized and approached me in the street. He started being all buddy-buddy, and I stopped him cold and said "I hate you for what you put me through, remember?"Out of curiosity, how did he respond?

[Lix Lorn]

Studies Will Ruin Your Life :/ :smalltongue:
Nothing is safe.
Nothing.

[noparlpf]

I did a gender studies class on men in film, and it ruined those movies for me. They're good movies and better issues-wise than some, for sure. But now I can't watch them without constantly noticing two big things:
1. The constant "reminders" of how they're not actually women. There's always the "costuming" scene, where the persona is constructed - "see, this is how the man turns into a woman. You can see he's still in there, it's just a costume" - and constant "almost sprung" and similar points where the "man-face" sneaks through - "it's okay, he's still a dude!"
2. The treatment of homosexual relationships. There's always a guy who falls for the "woman", and then there's lots of awkwardness and laughs - "this guy thinks he's straight, but he's actually randy for a dude!". There's another aspect though, specifically in Tootsie, where a woman found herself falling for the "woman", and there's much awkwardness and confusion because she thinks she's experiencing lesbian attractions, but then it's revealed that the other woman is really a man and oh relief! It's okay! It was actually heterosexual urges!

So yeah. Gender Studies Will Ruin Your Life :/ :smalltongue:

I'll admit that Gender Studies made me notice more of these things, as did hanging out around here, but I never found those humorous even before that because it doesn't make sense.

[pffh]

Now I feel like getting a kilt for spring... :smallwink:

I would so love to own a kilt but a quality one is so expensive (not to mention I could only wear it in the summer) :smallannoyed:

[H Birchgrove]

404 Error?
I'm going to assume that was just because of the forum's profanity filter, fix the URL, and check it out.

Yeah, it's the profanity filter; I edited away that part of my post. :smallsigh:

Please edit the quote in your post; I didn't mean to break forum rules, it's just a very good blog post even if the link contained a profane word. :smallfrown:


I would so love to own a kilt but a quality one is so expensive (not mention I could only were it in the summer) :smallannoyed:

Drat! Same with trench coats! :smallsigh:

I just want to look like a private investigator from a Black Mask (http://www.blackmaskmagazine.com/history.html) story. Or like a Scot.

[Coidzor]

(It really surprised me how quick it went, considering it took three months between calling and going to first appointment last time. Maybe it's cause I already went once?)

My understanding is that such is generally the case, yeah. Just don't go having such huge gaps again, certainly not larger ones if you want to continue, as records tend to attract undue attention from Murphy if they're unused for 6-9 months or so.


I would so love to own a kilt but a quality one is so expensive (not to mention I could only wear it in the summer) :smallannoyed:

:smallconfused: What, do you live in Siberia or some other place where ye have to go out wearing 2 layers in the summer and 4 or more elsewise?

Because I've worn kilts and if you're talking a proper one, you're talking wool. Which means that you're going to have a sauna around your waist in the summertime. As for yer legs, well, that's why you have a downy covering of fur and an overlayer of woolen stocking.

[noparlpf]

Yeah, it's the profanity filter; I edited away that part of my post. :smallsigh:

Please edit the quote in your post; I didn't mean to break forum rules, it's just a very good blog post even if the link contained a profane word. :smallfrown:



Drat! Same with trench coats! :smallsigh:

I just want to look like a private investigator from a Black Mask (http://www.blackmaskmagazine.com/history.html) story. Or like a Scot.

Is it against the rules to link to a URL with an expletive in it? Huh. Well, I'll change it after lab; I'm running late already.

[Coidzor]

Drat! Same with trench coats! :smallsigh:

You can only wear trench coats in the summer? Wot? :smallconfused:

Are you specifically singling out longcoats made of light, rain-resistant materials with no inner warm layer or ability to add or remove a liner based upon exterior weather conditions? Or do you really mean to say that the peninsula is really so cold that wearing a long or great coat, even with proper layering underneath, prevents one from putting on enough layers to survive spring and fall, let alone winter?


Nothing is safe.
Nothing.

To the contrary, I find that massage is generally nothing but a boon to the person who adds it to their repertoire. :smallwink:

[KenderWizard]

Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

Utopian Feminist Solution: Gender-neutral uniforms. WHY IS THIS SO FRIGGIN HARD?! We had stupid skirts, because it was a girl's school, so there was no trouser option like in the mixed schools. I always wanted to have robes like in Harry Potter, so you just wear whatever underneath and have a big robe on so everyone looks the same.


I just keep wondering what it's like to want a hug. I'm in control of myself enough to (usually) ignore the contact issues and hug people when they want me to, but I don't get anything out of it.


:smalleek: A difference between us?! If I go a while without a hug I get a physically uncomfortable sensation in my chest, like an emptiness. I can stave it off by tightly cuddling a teddy, but I need a proper hug with a person to cure it. It comes on faster when I'm tired or stressed or lonely. I think I actually run on cuddles.


Sorry for the confusion, Kender. This was my fault. I was referring to "non-cis" as non-cisgendered and non-cissexual (if there is such a thing). I was trying to save space and keep my post as brief as possible, but sacrificed clarity in doing so (and possibly making up words along the way). I'm embarrassed at having been caught, and I apologize. :smallredface:



Okay, I think I understand what you mean; you were using "cis" to mean "heteronormative" as well as "gendernormative"? I think it's only supposed to be an opposite for "trans", though, so it confused me!


I had a decent high school experience, but I did occasionally run into people like that, and my little brother had a miserable middle school experience. He's probably a little more normal than I am, but I'm better at hiding how weird I am, and my charisma is higher. But yeah, teenagers can be mean; because they're so insecure, they feel the need to put others down in an attempt to make themselves feel better.

I had similar, only I was the sibling who did worse. (:smalleek: A difference between us?! :smalltongue:) My brother is about as weird as I am, but for some reason, more popular. I think he would agree that I generally have slightly higher cha than he does; we can both make speeches and present ourselves well, but I can talk to strangers, make small talk, tell jokes and deal with crowds better. But I cannot make friends in a class of my peers. I think after all the horrific experiences of my early secondary school career, I just go on the defensive really fast in a group of people the same age as me who are all learning together, and people think I'm aloof and insane, rather than fun and eccentric.



So yeah. Gender Studies Will Ruin Your Life :/ :smalltongue:


Once you see it, you can never unsee it! ("It" being subtle cultural gender inequality, in this context.) I had forgotten about the "He thinks he's attracted to 'her', but 'she's' a dude! So it's, like, GAY!" thing. :smallsigh:

[Coidzor]

Utopian Feminist Solution: Gender-neutral uniforms. WHY IS THIS SO FRIGGIN HARD?! We had stupid skirts, because it was a girl's school, so there was no trouser option like in the mixed schools. I always wanted to have robes like in Harry Potter, so you just wear whatever underneath and have a big robe on so everyone looks the same.

Of course, then you run into the question over whether uniforms are truly utopian.

[Asta Kask]

Depends on the utopist.

KenderWizard, shame on you. How are we ever going to uphold arbitrary gender norms if we're not allow to segregate boys and girls. You really haven't thought this through. :smallwink:

[Coidzor]

Depends on the utopist.

Why, yes, that's why I was mentioning it. :smallconfused:

[Asta Kask]

Communications fail. Sorry.

[Nix Nihila]

Of course, then you run into the question over whether uniforms are truly utopian.

I would pull my hair out and strangle someone if I had to wear a uniform every day. :smallyuk:

Expressing my thoughts and emotions through the way I dress (and through other things) is nearly as important to me as presenting myself as female. That's not to say that I don't sometimes dress without art though.

[Triscuitable]

I would pull my hair out and strangle someone if I had to wear a uniform every day. :smallyuk:

Expressing my thoughts and emotions through the way I dress (and through other things) is nearly as important to me as presenting myself as female. That's not to say that I don't sometimes dress without art though.

I understand why you wouldn't want to wear a uniform. The limited ways to express yourself would really be a horrific thing. For me, it's the opposite. My hair says EVERYTHING about me. My shirt, my pants, my jackets, they don't matter! It's all in the Ginger, baby!

[pffh]

I would pull my hair out and strangle someone if I had to wear a uniform every day. :smallyuk:

Expressing my thoughts and emotions through the way I dress (and through other things) is nearly as important to me as presenting myself as female. That's not to say that I don't sometimes dress without art though.

I on the other hand would LOVE to wear a good looking uniform everywhere (some sort of suit preferable).

Or hell just a suit. If I weren't a poor university student and didn't work with corrosive materials almost daily I would wear a suit all the time.

[Lady Tialait]

Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

Yet another problem with school uniforms. When will they learn? I was so glad that when I got to high school it was the year they removed the school uniforms. They reinstated them the year after I graduated...mostly because of my group of friends. I wore three piece suits, they were warm, and looked nice one me. Nobody had a problem with that. My best friend in high school has Polynesian heritage, and wore grass skirts and hoodies. It looked absolutely ridiculous. It had no connection to his gender identity. It still applies. The admins had a huge fit about him wearing them. I'm sure that is why they put those ugly uniforms back into use.

Personal expression is important especially at that age. If some boys want to wear skirts, let them show off their legs. I don't see an issue, save one, if they wear them...please make them cross their legs properly.

[Heliomance]

I'm with Kender Wizard on this one. I support uniforms, I'm glad I had to wear one through school. I'm absolutely certain that if we'd worn our own clothes, my choice of fashion - and obliviousness to trends - would have been just another thing I got picked on for.

ION, this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCMxEkbPaPY) is old, but heartwarming and awesome.

[Nix Nihila]

I on the other hand would LOVE to wear a good looking uniform everywhere (some sort of suit preferable).

Or hell just a suit. If I weren't a poor university student and didn't work with corrosive materials almost daily I would wear a suit all the time.

What constitutes good looking is subjective. Most uniforms I've seen are so dull that they don't count as good looking in my opinion.


I'm with Kender Wizard on this one. I support uniforms, I'm glad I had to wear one through school. I'm absolutely certain that if we'd worn our own clothes, my choice of fashion - and obliviousness to trends - would have been just another thing I got picked on for.

Then perhaps there could be an option to wear a uniform if you want, but don't force people to wear it. I'd much rather be picked on for my sense of fashion than have to wear something I hate.

[Saeyan]

Then perhaps there could be an option to wear a uniform if you want, but don't force people to wear it.
There'd still be pressure, I think. "Why are you wearing a uniform? Haven't you got any clothes of your own?"
I disliked my uniform, but it did make getting dressed in the mornings much easier...

[Nix Nihila]

Of course there would. If you can think of an option that doesn't upset anyone, then that's great, but I can't. So it depends on what's going to maximize happiness. I know I would be completely miserable and perhaps drop out if I was forced into such a situation, but that's just a personal thing.

[golentan]

I'm weighing in on behalf of uniforms as well. They are a great equalizer, avoiding all sorts of pitfalls. When applied fairly, at least. Schools in my area managed to do things like quell gang violence through the application of uniforms. They stop people being ostracized through some of the Clique building methods. They require minimum standards of cleanliness and maintenance. They can look darn spiffy.

Just, you know. If you're going to do a uniform, they should be uniform. Same standards apply to everyone, regardless of color, creed, gender, etc. Variations can be incorporated, but they shouldn't be conditional on who's wearing them, because that sets up the exclusionary principles that uniforms are intended (usually) to stop.

[Heliomance]

Of course there would. If you can think of an option that doesn't upset anyone, then that's great, but I can't. So it depends on what's going to maximize happiness. I know I would be completely miserable and perhaps drop out if I was forced into such a situation, but that's just a personal thing.

See, uniforms are almost completely ubiquitous this side of the pond. Dropping out because you had to wear a uniform is unthinkable. Apart from anything else, you'd still have to wear one in your new school.

[Nix Nihila]

See, uniforms are almost completely ubiquitous this side of the pond. Dropping out because you had to wear a uniform is unthinkable. Apart from anything else, you'd still have to wear one in your new school.

I would seriously consider taking my education into my own hands if I were forced into a position where doing otherwise would make me dysphoric five days a week (although there are probably differences in the legality of dropping out where you are, and I would admittedly have to wait until I was 16 where I am). I won't go into my feelings about this anymore because it's not related to LGBT stuff.

[H Birchgrove]

You can only wear trench coats in the summer? Wot? :smallconfused:

Are you specifically singling out longcoats made of light, rain-resistant materials with no inner warm layer or ability to add or remove a liner based upon exterior weather conditions? Or do you really mean to say that the peninsula is really so cold that wearing a long or great coat, even with proper layering underneath, prevents one from putting on enough layers to survive spring and fall, let alone winter?

Sorry for the lack of clarity; it was the cost of trench coats I was complaining about. I know there are trench coats with fodder. (Though I couldn't find any here in Växjö; trench coats were fashionable a few years ago when I lived in Norrköping, but not any more.)


Is it against the rules to link to a URL with an expletive in it? Huh. Well, I'll change it after lab; I'm running late already.

I just don't want to risk angering the moderators; I know they have much hard work as it is.

I'll re-read the rules and see if there is a legit way to bypass the filter (I doubt it).

In meantime, I'll post it the Giantitp Chat over at Facebook. I can tweet it to Asta Kask as well.

PS. I thought I had posted this hours ago. That's what I get for having multiple tabs on the browser. :smalleek:

[Coidzor]

I'm absolutely certain that if we'd worn our own clothes, my choice of fashion - and obliviousness to trends - would have been just another thing I got picked on for.

And I'm just as absolutely certain that prevailing social mores, cultural norms, and economic trends would have you dressing in a rough approximation of what the mainstream was wearing unless you made a conscious decision to not do so. :smallwink:

Certainly that's how it played out for myself, and I never was and likely never will be on the cutting edge of fashionability.

Granted, men, and those who present as such for whatever reason, have it easier, as men's fashion, such as it is, is largely stable outside of subcultures. But you would have fallen into that set of people anyway for your childhood, at least, that's my current understanding of your backstory.
Unless a child just stopped growing at 10 and didn't wear its clothing out like a child of that age should due to having something approximating an active lifestyle, what's on the market is going to update fast enough and/or remain in that quasi-stagnant state we're usually in such that when it came time to buy new clothing, it couldn't be too horribly out of date.


If some boys want to wear skirts, let them show off their legs. I don't see an issue, save one, if they wear them...please make them cross their legs properly.

Indecent exposure being indecent exposure regardless of sex.


Then perhaps there could be an option to wear a uniform if you want, but don't force people to wear it. I'd much rather be picked on for my sense of fashion than have to wear something I hate.

I rather imagine that would defeat the point of having a uniform though. One might as well just have some sort of dress code at that point. :smalltongue:

[Heliomance]

I would seriously consider taking my education into my own hands if I were forced into a position where doing otherwise would make me dysphoric five days a week (although there are probably differences in the legality of dropping out where you are, and I would admittedly have to wait until I was 16 where I am). I won't go into my feelings about this anymore because it's not related to LGBT stuff.

It's entirely possible that you'd be able to find a school that would be okay with you presenting as female and wearing the female uniform.

[Serpentine]

I'm fine with uniforms. However, I'm specifically fine with affordable (and subsidised), good-quality, comfortable, good looking uniforms with a wide range to choose from. My high school uniform was close enough, but not quite there...

[supernerd]

Well I kind of wanna wear a skirt to school one day... Just one, but I'll put in the needed effort(my legs will be hairless for weeks...)

We also found out a week or two ago (during applied music class, me and my two good female friends in that class) that I wear women's clothing surprisingly well. It gave me a figure and a bust. I kinda liked it too... Does that make me weird?(and I ask that on this thread :smalltongue:) Well it certainly doesn't make me transexual, I rather like being a guy, I just like women's clothing for some reason.

[golentan]

Well I kind of wanna wear a skirt to school one day... Just one, but I'll put in the needed effort(my legs will be hairless for weeks...)

We also found out a week or two ago (during applied music class, me and my two good female friends in that class) that I wear women's clothing surprisingly well. It gave me a figure and a bust. I kinda liked it too... Does that make me weird?(and I ask that on this thread :smalltongue:) Well it certainly doesn't make me transexual, I rather like being a guy, I just like women's clothing for some reason.

Nothing wrong with some wholesome crossdressing. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WholesomeCrossdresser)

[Viera Champion]

Well I kind of wanna wear a skirt to school one day... Just one, but I'll put in the needed effort(my legs will be hairless for weeks...)

We also found out a week or two ago (during applied music class, me and my two good female friends in that class) that I wear women's clothing surprisingly well. It gave me a figure and a bust. I kinda liked it too... Does that make me weird?(and I ask that on this thread :smalltongue:) Well it certainly doesn't make me transexual, I rather like being a guy, I just like women's clothing for some reason.

OH! Me too!:smallbiggrin:

[Kindablue]

Well it certainly doesn't make me transexual, I rather like being a guy, I just like women's clothing for some reason.

Have you ever seen Ed Wood (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CawVaHxWvnA)?

[Arachu]

[Tangent] - Silly muggers (http://www.mmauniverse.com/mma-news/yobs-floored-by-cage-fighters-in-drag)... :xykon:


Well I kind of wanna wear a skirt to school one day... Just one, but I'll put in the needed effort(my legs will be hairless for weeks...)

We also found out a week or two ago (during applied music class, me and my two good female friends in that class) that I wear women's clothing surprisingly well. It gave me a figure and a bust. I kinda liked it too... Does that make me weird?(and I ask that on this thread :smalltongue:) Well it certainly doesn't make me transexual, I rather like being a guy, I just like women's clothing for some reason.

"Awesome", I'd say. :smallbiggrin:

[golentan]

[Tangent] - Silly muggers (http://www.mmauniverse.com/mma-news/yobs-floored-by-cage-fighters-in-drag)... :xykon:

"Awesome", I'd say. :smallbiggrin:

Wait a second, a drunken tossup with spiderman and two cage fighters in drag is a bad night? That sounds like AWESOME FUN to me.

Then again, my urge to war has been high this past... decade. Stupid biological conditioning with its stupid predisposition towards combat and its... Anyhoo.

[Asta Kask]

Sleepy but can't sleep. Bugger.

[golentan]

Sleepy but can't sleep. Bugger.

Well, get over here and sleep with me then. :smalltongue:

I'm going to give you my go to advice for sleep. Heat up some water or milk (chamomile tea if you've got it).. about half a teaspoon to a teaspoon of ground nutmeg, honey to taste, and ground cloves if aching or other pain is what's keeping you up. Drain it all down and go read for half an hour. If you haven't fallen asleep where you sit by then, go ahead and lie back and make a fresh effort.

[Coidzor]

Add a little bit of cinnamon to that, say, about 1-3 dashes, and a dollop of vanilla and you've got the drink my dad always used to make me when I was having trouble getting to sleep as a little kid.

It may or may not have been an example of the placebo effect at its finest.

[Asta Kask]

I took my new medication in the evening rather than in the morning. It causes sleeplessness... :smallsigh:

[golentan]

Add a little bit of cinnamon to that, say, about 1-3 dashes, and a dollop of vanilla and you've got the drink my dad always used to make me when I was having trouble getting to sleep as a little kid.

It may or may not have been an example of the placebo effect at its finest.

It isn't. Nutmeg and Chamomile are (verified) soporifics, and clove is a painkiller. Warm milk may be placebo (I'm not sure), but does seem to help (I think it makes it easier for the digestive system to uptake).

Cinnamon and Vanilla would just be there for flavoring, I think. I know the honey is.

[SiuiS]

Warning: rage inducing (http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/02/13/boys-should-be-able-to-wear-skirts-to-school-says-childrens-adviser/)

Pah! That's terrible.
Where is this, exactly? I have the good luck to be in California, and was able to work in a kilt (tastefully colored of course) at Starbucks, because it fit within the regs that said employees could wear skirts. But be often wondered if that's because management just didn't care what you had under the apron, as long as it was black or khaki.

Granted, that's backwards from the obvious suggestion here (wear a skirt and get away with it because it's a kilt) but pretty identical otherwise.


*Hugs PairO'Dice Lost*


I just realized something... [morebackstory]I used to be really fond of making some fake accent or another growing up. I couldn't figure out which one it was supposed to be, but it felt much more relaxing and easy to use (for short periods of time) than my normal voice.

Thanks to the guide that Astrella linked (thanks again, by the way :smallbiggrin:), it occurs to me that that "accent" was 'girl'. I made it by resonating the sound in my mouth and nasal cavity, and sometimes tightening my vocal chords a bit.

I thought I grew up cut off from my gender... But now I realize I was dimly aware of it. I... Survived, as it were.

I feel a lot better for realizing that. :smallamused: :smallbiggrin:

To paraphrase Ian Malcolm, "the mind... Finds a way."



Now. One month after the operation, BF's chest is healing quite nicely. He's himself amazed by the results: no side effect, it's hard to spot scars unless you're told they're there in the first place, and very good result aesthetically. According to him (he's a medicine student, therefore good knowledge and access to these things), he got the best outcome out of all other FtMs he's seen.
And most importantly, he's very eager to go to the swimming pool. He loves swimming. :smallredface:

Cool! Glad things worked out so well.


I just keep wondering what it's like to want a hug. I'm in control of myself enough to (usually) ignore the contact issues and hug people when they want me to, but I don't get anything out of it.

Generally? Terrible. It means you aren't actually getting what you need.

It's also more a... A symbol, say. Wanting to be hugged generally means you want someone wrapped around you; a nod to being comforted, someone else taking the guardian position so you can let your guard down for once and relax, all armor removed. It's an indulgence, and often considered a selfish one. But everyone needs a bit of indulgence every now and then. Indulging in an honest to goodness hug, no strings attached, is a sign of trust.
Luckily, I've got an accommodating filly, but otherwise I'd go stir crazy.


Nothing is safe.
Nothing.

Eyup. I have to second this partic'lar motion.


I would so love to own a kilt but a quality one is so expensive (not to mention I could only wear it in the summer) :smallannoyed:

Define expensive. A kilt can be bought for several hundred pre-sewn and all that, but a traditional kilt (well, "traditional") isn't sewn at all. Ya buy a five yard long, five foot wide bolt of plaid bolt of woolen fabric, measure out your hip width, and then pleat it by hand, line to line, until you've got a pelvis width panel on either side of a bunch of pleats. Pull one side over, then another; belt it on and gussy it up. The wool, based on quality, can be as low as $65 USD.

The downside is that when you're done and take it off, it unpleats. It's a good amount of effort every day you wan to wear it, unless you have the foresight to fold it the night before.



:smallconfused: What, do you live in Siberia or some other place where ye have to go out wearing 2 layers in the summer and 4 or more elsewise?

Because I've worn kilts and if you're talking a proper one, you're talking wool. Which means that you're going to have a sauna around your waist in the summertime. As for yer legs, well, that's why you have a downy covering of fur and an overlayer of woolen stocking.

Aye. It's also darn breathable in the summer. It was the most comfortable garment is worn on a camp out, where it was a record-breaking 117 F in the shade. The fabric creating small breezes as it swayed was helpful, too.

I'm also inclined to say its darn warm in the cold. I hate the cold, and it made it tolerable for me.



To the contrary, I find that massage is generally nothing but a boon to the person who adds it to their repertoire. :smallwink:

*waves* hi! I'm a massage therapist.
Much like gender studies have ruined movies for Serpentine, I have trouble with a lot of common words which don't quite mean what people think they mean. For one, I cnnot help but since whenever I hear 'happy ending' no matter the context. And those who know that but still use the word? I have to wonder. Is it intentional? Are they just being absent minded? Do they disregard my feelings about it? Etc.

There is also masseuse. People often comment on how weird it is that I'm a masseuse. But I'm not a masseuse silly! By matter of technicality, I would be a masseur, not a masseuse. That's just linguistics. Except I'm not a masseur or a masseuse, because those are slang terms for prostitutes, at least in America, Canada and parts of the UK.
It also makes Internet scrounging for jobs more cringeworthy. Red go to craig's list and looked up stuff related to massage? It distresses me that some people throw around sensual massage and cathartic release and spiritual terms like they are valid medical terms.

And Of course there is the weird place where I have to know medical stuff but I can't do medicine. Folks ask me to crack their back all the time, but that's chiropractic medicine. I'd be liable for suing, as it's both malpractice and practicing without a license. Which is dumb, because lay folk can crack each other's joints all the time and no one cares. They don't know enough to be held accountable. And then, well, I'll be honest. Seeing exactly how much of the body excretes and is covered by mucus? :smalleek:

Any knowledge brings a shift in perceptions and responsibilities. Doesn't matter what it is.


It isn't. Nutmeg and Chamomile are (verified) soporifics, and clove is a painkiller. Warm milk may be placebo (I'm not sure), but does seem to help (I think it makes it easier for the digestive system to uptake).

Cinnamon and Vanilla would just be there for flavoring, I think. I know the honey is.

the act of heating up the milk and mixing the drink itself is supposed to be meditative, but I suppose that falls under placebo doesn't it?

[Qaera]

I got a facial today hahaha :smallbiggrin: I've never felt so feminine or pampered~
Followed by a few hours of power tools, PVC, and lumber. Grrrr mantime! :smallyuk:
It was weird my mom set up the facial and she is pretty anti lgbt so I dunno whats going on

*rubs cheeks*

~ ♅

[Skeppio]

Now I feel like getting a kilt for spring... :smallwink:

:3


I dunno... I'll have to talk with Skeppio first. :smallredface:

:smallredface: Hehe.


The Succubus, I love you so much. :smallredface: :smallbiggrin:

(In a platonic way, of course. :smallwink: )

Agreed. The Succubus is awesome. :smallsmile:

[KenderWizard]

I'm going to my first conference today, and presenting research! Eee! :smallbiggrin::smalleek::smallbiggrin::smalleek::s mallbiggrin:


Of course, then you run into the question over whether uniforms are truly utopian.

Okay, if it was Utopian Solution, rather than Utopian Feminist Solution, we would also have solved bullying and extreme wealth inequality. But if we're just fixing gender inequality, gender neutral uniforms, with options, are the way to go. Anyway, I think uniforms are kind of nice, they're simple and harmonising.

I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc. Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.


Depends on the utopist.

KenderWizard, shame on you. How are we ever going to uphold arbitrary gender norms if we're not allow to segregate boys and girls. You really haven't thought this through. :smallwink:

Damn, I always forget that one! :smalltongue:


I'm fine with uniforms. However, I'm specifically fine with affordable (and subsidised), good-quality, comfortable, good looking uniforms with a wide range to choose from. My high school uniform was close enough, but not quite there...

Exactly.


[Tangent] - Silly muggers (http://www.mmauniverse.com/mma-news/yobs-floored-by-cage-fighters-in-drag)... :xykon:


That makes me anxious, because most people who aren't conforming to gender roles are not highly trained fighters.


I took my new medication in the evening rather than in the morning. It causes sleeplessness... :smallsigh:

:smallfrown: Hate that. Mine causes drowsiness, so I had to change to taking it in the evening.

[Nix Nihila]

I'm going to my first conference today, and presenting research! Eee! :smallbiggrin::smalleek::smallbiggrin::smalleek::s mallbiggrin:

That sounds exciting! What are you presenting on, if I may ask?



I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc. Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

Yes, after calming back down a bit (I have a knee-jerk reaction when people try to mess with my clothes), I can see how it might be desirable.

[Coidzor]

Hell, I was just pointing out that this is one of those things where there's not necessarily a clear consensus about what the utopian solution would be. :smalltongue:


But if we're just fixing gender inequality, gender neutral uniforms, with options, are the way to go.

Forcing people to all dress the same would not fix gender inequality in and of itself. Forcing people to all dress the same and then giving them options to not do so just sound contradictory and would allow a loophole allowing your intended goal to be circumvented by those who you would force to change.

And, again, once you're giving non-trivial "options," one might as well be using a dress code rather than having a "uniform" which is anything but.


Anyway, I think uniforms are kind of nice, they're simple and harmonising.

*shudder* You just reminded me of the horrible, skin-tight jumpsuit uniforms of science fiction.


I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc.

I'm pretty sure the general definition of uniform covers cut of shirt and shoes. Though it is rather illuminating to see the cultural differences highlighted.

I'm not sure why, but something about your general tone here just really rubs me the wrong way and reminds me of those satirical lists about privilege that sometimes circulate my feminist contacts on social networks.


Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

Isn't that half the point of the tradition of forcing children to wear uniforms? The nonsensical rules handed down and then garbled in translation from preparatory schools for nobles and people with far too much money.

[Mina Kobold]

Okay, if it was Utopian Solution, rather than Utopian Feminist Solution, we would also have solved bullying and extreme wealth inequality. But if we're just fixing gender inequality, gender neutral uniforms, with options, are the way to go. Anyway, I think uniforms are kind of nice, they're simple and harmonising.

I would feel bad for people like Nix, whose presentation is very important to them, but you still have hairstyle, jewellery, cut of shirt, shoes, etc. Because also in this particular utopia, there wouldn't be stupid rules like "boys have to have short hair" and stuff.

I'd go for anti-bullying campaigns and classes on gender and equality, uniforms would be like taking a cookie from the child. It looks mean to the kid, but clearly it must be OK to take away stuff from those under you if the adults do it. Authoritative parenting* is quite counter-productive that way. ^_^'

Wouldn't freedom with hair and accessories just allow the bullies to reinforce arbitrary rules, by the way? If they already think they can force people to follow their rules, then they would probably continue with whatever they can latch on to. I think, I could easily have missed an important point :smallsmile:

*This is taken from the Psychology classes I've had, but I am no professional. Please take all that I say with a grain of salt and a spoonful pepper. :3

[Heliomance]

Why hello again, dysmorphia. It's been a while. Oh, and I see you're stronger than I remember. Fantastic. :smallannoyed:

Stupid body.

[Mono Vertigo]

On the subject of school uniforms: heh... I'm against them because I don't enjoy that sort of conformity. On the other hand, I've never had to wear one, never met anyone my age who had to, and I haven't really given much thought to the issue, so my opinion isn't worth more than the 2 proverbial cents.



On the subject of comedic movies centered about a man disguising himself as a woman: that conversation reminded me of a movie I'm not entirely sure what to make of.
In Chouchou, the main character is a migrant who arrived illegally in France to look for his nephew. He turns out to be a transvestite singer, and Chouchou decides to work in the same cabaret as the nephew, as a transvestite. During the movie, Chouchou meets a man at that cabaret, and it's love at first sight. Notably that man always respects and treats Chouchou as a woman, is not surprised by any kind of reveal, and the movie ends with their wedding (in a country that still doesn't allow homosexual marriage). The shenanigans are less about his double identity than about the fact he's an illegal migrant and doesn't know a lot about French culture and norms.
Since Chouchou spends a lot of time disguised as a feminine woman and truly enjoys that persona, I have no idea if he should be considered here as "just" a crossdresser, or as a MtF who has no medical treatment. And I saw the movie a long time ago, so details may be off (for example, I can't remember for sure if Chouchou was a transvestite before or after finding his nephew... I thought he was, but most reviews I'm seeing imply the opposite).
So yeah. I personally think it's better than most other movies on the subject. It, however, wasn't amazing of very memorable.

[Asta Kask]

That sounds exciting! What are you presenting on, if I may ask?

A case study of her being awesome.

[The Succubus]

Agreed. The Succubus is awesome. :smallsmile:

I have a long lazy Sunday ahead of me with nothing planned, so I'll be able to work on a certain picture and hopefully have it ready by Sunday evening.


Why hello again, dysmorphia. It's been a while. Oh, and I see you're stronger than I remember. Fantastic. :smallannoyed:

Stupid body.

I would give your stupid body a bonk on the head but I'm worried about damaging the wonderful contents of it. >.>

[Heliomance]

I would give your stupid body a bonk on the head but I'm worried about damaging the wonderful contents of it. >.>

After having about two and a haf months of being relatively content being a male - which annoyingly happened just as I'd finally resolved to start working on this androgyny business - I woke up this morning hating my body hair, lack of curves, and general maleness. It drove me to shave my arms this morning, and I'm currently doing something I've never done before - I'm wearing an (admittedly unstuffed) bra on campus.

It's wonderful. It's a really subtle effect, it doesn't look too blatant, but it definitely does feminise my figure. Coupled with a blouse, it hints at the possiility of curves without making me look like a drag queen.

Course, I'd rather have the real curves, but you take what you can get. I'm still not happy with my body at the moment, but it makes it bearable.

[Asta Kask]

Poor you. I hope you can resolve this somehow.

In other news:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HcWMGPhDbjs/TU3zgVFOPCI/AAAAAAAAAPE/uIxJHiUeefw/s1600/3.JPG

[The Succubus]

After having about two and a haf months of being relatively content being a male - which annoyingly happened just as I'd finally resolved to start working on this androgyny business - I woke up this morning hating my body hair, lack of curves, and general maleness. It drove me to shave my arms this morning, and I'm currently doing something I've never done before - I'm wearing an (admittedly unstuffed) bra on campus.

It's wonderful. It's a really subtle effect, it doesn't look too blatant, but it definitely does feminise my figure. Coupled with a blouse, it hints at the possiility of curves without making me look like a drag queen.

Course, I'd rather have the real curves, but you take what you can get. I'm still not happy with my body at the moment, but it makes it bearable.

I don't know if it makes you feel any better but you really do look rather wonderful when you have your androgyny vibe going. :smallsmile:

[noparlpf]

Utopian Feminist Solution: Gender-neutral uniforms. WHY IS THIS SO FRIGGIN HARD?! We had stupid skirts, because it was a girl's school, so there was no trouser option like in the mixed schools. I always wanted to have robes like in Harry Potter, so you just wear whatever underneath and have a big robe on so everyone looks the same.

I like this idea. If everyone wore the same thing, like slacks and a shirt and tie, it would be fine.


:smalleek: A difference between us?! If I go a while without a hug I get a physically uncomfortable sensation in my chest, like an emptiness. I can stave it off by tightly cuddling a teddy, but I need a proper hug with a person to cure it. It comes on faster when I'm tired or stressed or lonely. I think I actually run on cuddles.

:0
Is this possible?
I'm not sure what's up with me and hugs because I used to not have issues touching people. I know I liked hugging my ex when we were dating. Nowadays I often sleep hugging my pillows, but the other half of the time hugging my pillows reminds me too much of touching people and I can't so I turn around.


I had similar, only I was the sibling who did worse. (:smalleek: A difference between us?! :smalltongue:) My brother is about as weird as I am, but for some reason, more popular. I think he would agree that I generally have slightly higher cha than he does; we can both make speeches and present ourselves well, but I can talk to strangers, make small talk, tell jokes and deal with crowds better. But I cannot make friends in a class of my peers. I think after all the horrific experiences of my early secondary school career, I just go on the defensive really fast in a group of people the same age as me who are all learning together, and people think I'm aloof and insane, rather than fun and eccentric.

Is he older or younger? My brother is three years younger.
I also tend to act really weird around people and they all think I'm crazy. I'm really just an eccentric genius. Totally.


Once you see it, you can never unsee it! ("It" being subtle cultural gender inequality, in this context.) I had forgotten about the "He thinks he's attracted to 'her', but 'she's' a dude! So it's, like, GAY!" thing. :smallsigh:

This is quite true. It's ruined my (admittedly already weak) ability to enjoy sexist and cissexist media.


I'm with Kender Wizard on this one. I support uniforms, I'm glad I had to wear one through school. I'm absolutely certain that if we'd worn our own clothes, my choice of fashion - and obliviousness to trends - would have been just another thing I got picked on for.

ION, this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCMxEkbPaPY) is old, but heartwarming and awesome.

I would have preferred uniforms just because of how much trouble some of the kids seemed to have dressing themselves. (Skirts too short, pants too low, necklines too low and breasts falling out...)

[H Birchgrove]

A solution to the problem with the blog post and it's troublesome link:

Go to Sincerely, Natalie Reed (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed), scroll down to the post made at 15 February, 2012 at 9:00 am. It's about how persons like me - who for one reason or another like-like trans persons - should and shouldn't behave. Anders (Asta Kask) made some great replies to that post.

PS. Natalie promised me on Twitter to avoid using... *naughty words* in the links in the future. :smallsmile:

[Asta Kask]

How not to compliment trans people. (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/17/you-look-great-i-never-would-have-guessed-and-other-acts-of-well-intentioned-cissexism/)

Since I have no life, I have already commented. :smalltongue:

[Lix Lorn]

A case study of her being awesome.
But which one? There are so many!

On uniforms: I do not like uniforms.:smallannoyed: But I can see why they'd be useful.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Okay, I think I understand what you mean; you were using "cis" to mean "heteronormative" as well as "gendernormative"? I think it's only supposed to be an opposite for "trans", though, so it confused me!


Yep. That's what I get for mucking things up. :)


I would pull my hair out and strangle someone if I had to wear a uniform every day. :smallyuk:

Expressing my thoughts and emotions through the way I dress (and through other things) is nearly as important to me as presenting myself as female. That's not to say that I don't sometimes dress without art though.


Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.
Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. I've really been thinking about my gender lately. I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. I mean I get that people have good and bad days. That's a given but... *sigh*

At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. Some days it feels like I'm all bs. That there *is* no "real" me.

Edit: Dang it!!! I just read Natalie's blog for the first time, and the very first thing I read is how horribly cis-biased what I just wrote was!!! Gah, I hate myself now. I'm so, so sorry to everybody I just offended.


After having about two and a haf months of being relatively content being a male - which annoyingly happened just as I'd finally resolved to start working on this androgyny business - I woke up this morning hating my body hair, lack of curves, and general maleness. It drove me to shave my arms this morning, and I'm currently doing something I've never done before - I'm wearing an (admittedly unstuffed) bra on campus.

It's wonderful. It's a really subtle effect, it doesn't look too blatant, but it definitely does feminise my figure. Coupled with a blouse, it hints at the possiility of curves without making me look like a drag queen.

Course, I'd rather have the real curves, but you take what you can get. I'm still not happy with my body at the moment, but it makes it bearable.

This is wonderful, hon! I'm so proud that you had the courage to do this, and the looks to pull it off. :) Please keep us updated on how things progress. It's refreshing to see somebody identify an issue getting them down, and executing a plan to successfully handle it.


I got a facial today hahaha :smallbiggrin: I've never felt so feminine or pampered~
Followed by a few hours of power tools, PVC, and lumber. Grrrr mantime! :smallyuk:
It was weird my mom set up the facial and she is pretty anti lgbt so I dunno whats going on

*rubs cheeks*

~ ♅

How wonderful! :) Sorry you couldn't have more time to enjoy it though. I'm curious as to why your mom set it up. How aware is she of your situation?

I'm curious as to what it was like getting the facial. I've wanted to do something like get my nails done or get laser hair removal of my facial hair or.. something. But I always worry about how I'd be received.

[Lix Lorn]

Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.
Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. I've really been thinking about my gender lately. I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. I mean I get that people have good and bad days. That's a given but... *sigh*

At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. Some days it feels like I'm all bs. That there *is* no "real" me.
I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.

[The Succubus]

I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.

As I recall saying in another thread not so long ago, The Succubus is quite different to {real name redacted}. I am slowly working on bringing more of my outgoing online persona into meatspace but it is difficult.

I also don't have wings in real life. :smallfrown:

[Lix Lorn]

Sucks. Wings are awesome. :(

[Lady Tialait]

Indecent exposure being indecent exposure regardless of sex.


From the few guys i've seen in skirts.....they can't seem to understand that.

[Heliomance]

This is wonderful, hon! I'm so proud that you had the courage to do this, and the looks to pull it off. :) Please keep us updated on how things progress. It's refreshing to see somebody identify an issue getting them down, and executing a plan to successfully handle it.


Went shopping today with a friend, I now have more feminine clothes (including a rather nicely flattering pair of bootleg jeans!) tweezers for doing something about my eyebrows, and foundation. I felt bad enough about my body today that I had to do something about it.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Go to Sincerely, Natalie Reed (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed), scroll down to the post made at 15 February, 2012 at 9:00 am. It's about how persons like me - who for one reason or another like-like trans persons - should and shouldn't behave. Anders (Asta Kask) made some great replies to that post.
This is relevant to my interests.

So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
But, really, its just me being weak.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.

[Al'izh'dheg]

Went shopping today with a friend, I now have more feminine clothes (including a rather nicely flattering pair of bootleg jeans!) tweezers for doing something about my eyebrows, and foundation. I felt bad enough about my body today that I had to do something about it.

Awesome! Now I'm jealous. I don't have any clothes yet. *sigh* Maybe one day. :)


I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.


As I recall saying in another thread not so long ago, The Succubus is quite different to {real name redacted}. I am slowly working on bringing more of my outgoing online persona into meatspace but it is difficult.

I also don't have wings in real life. :smallfrown:

This I understand. It is quite normal to be different while wrapped in the anonymity of being online that in meatspace.

What I'm referring to is meatspace only. I'm one way at work. I'm another way entirely at school. I'm again different at home, and then different when dealing with my wife, my kids, and my roommate.

More incessant whining (yes, I'm getting very sick of my whining at this point, one day I need to stomp my foot and GET OVER MYSELF):
When I was young, my mom took me to a self-help conference. We learned about "matching and modeling". This is a technique used to make people you speak to more comfortable by watching how they behave, and mirroring it with your own. I do this so much now that it's reflexive. There's no active thought process involved at all. If the person sitting across from me has their legs crossed and their finger thoughtfully on their chin, I will catch myself doing the same. If I'm speaking to a large group of people, I subconsciously change my posture to more closely mirror theirs.

This is all superficial stuff, but my desire to fit in has me doing it mentally as well. I take on the behaviors of those around me. So much so that sometimes I'll sit back and think, "Wow, do I really think this way? Because when I'm over in this other place, doing this other thing, I don't believe that at all."

It frightens me because sometimes I don't know what's *me* or not. Am I really trans*? Or maybe this is so horribly deranged ploy by my brain has adopted in a subconscious effort to get negative attention. "Ooo, look at me! I'm unique. I'm different. Come comfort and love me." UGH!

I think these things and then I put this whole trans* thing out of my head and move forward, right? And then I wake up a day or two later and feel really... bad about my body. Facial hair, arm hair, my nasty, half-grown head hair... my deep voice, UGH.

Yes, I know it's time to talk to somebody about this, but I simply have no time. I work 9-10 hours a day, have school 3 days a week, and have a MOUNTAIN of homework that I'm still behind on, and we're only 6 weeks into the 16 week semester. Somewhere in there I need downtime to try and relax... but I'm staying up until 2-4AM every morning to do that as it is...

[Heliomance]

Plucked my eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup, wearing my new jeans and a lovely top that really makes me look like a girl. I feel pretty. :smallredface:

[Lix Lorn]

Plucked my eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup, wearing my new jeans and a lovely top that really makes me look like a girl. I feel pretty. :smallredface:
I'd bet money that you are.

[noparlpf]

Oddly, I feel like I'm more restrained online. Largely because sarcasm doesn't translate well. (Not that normal people can tell when I'm being sarcastic in person anyway. I'm so sarcastic it seems real and I just look like somebody who really has ridiculous views.)

[Heliomance]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

[golentan]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

You are pretty.

[Mystic Muse]

Heliomance, you look very pretty. Still going for a bit of an androgynous look?


@Rabbit. *HUGS*

[Al'izh'dheg]

Plucked my eyebrows, put on a bit of makeup, wearing my new jeans and a lovely top that really makes me look like a girl. I feel pretty. :smallredface:

Yes.


I'd bet money that you are.

YES!


http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

You are very brave for sharing, and I appreciate that. You have done very well in feminizing yourself. :) I'm jealous! :)


You are pretty.
YES!

[pffh]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

You are indeed quite cute.

[The Succubus]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

Yummy Helio is yummy!

[Heliomance]

Heliomance, you look very pretty. Still going for a bit of an androgynous look?


In general, yes. Today, I was just trying to get as far away from male as I could >_<

I actually look more feminine than the pictures show atm. I'm pretty sure I could pass as female under all but close inspection.

[Mystic Muse]

In general, yes. Today, I was just trying to get as far away from male as I could >_<

I actually look more feminine than the pictures show atm. I'm pretty sure I could pass as female under all but close inspection.

You definitely look more feminine than anything.:smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<
HAWT.
SO VERY HAWT.

Ahem.

I mean.
You look lovely!

[Al'izh'dheg]

Not to sound like a Lix fangirl but... Yes. This. :)


HAWT.
SO VERY HAWT.

Ahem.

I mean.
You look lovely!

[Mina Kobold]

This is relevant to my interests.

So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
But, really, its just me being weak.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.

*Hugs*

Don't feel bad about it, being outspoken about a part of your identity that society want to keep quiet is a tiring and uphill battle. You're not weak, that's just that same societal shaming and shunning that you just described speaking. Recognising mistakes enough to apologise here is more than enough for a sign of strength, if you ask me. :smallsmile:

If I hypothesise correctly, that is. I am not a brainwashing expert. Nope.
>_>
<_<



This I understand. It is quite normal to be different while wrapped in the anonymity of being online that in meatspace.

What I'm referring to is meatspace only. I'm one way at work. I'm another way entirely at school. I'm again different at home, and then different when dealing with my wife, my kids, and my roommate.

More incessant whining (yes, I'm getting very sick of my whining at this point, one day I need to stomp my foot and GET OVER MYSELF):
When I was young, my mom took me to a self-help conference. We learned about "matching and modeling". This is a technique used to make people you speak to more comfortable by watching how they behave, and mirroring it with your own. I do this so much now that it's reflexive. There's no active thought process involved at all. If the person sitting across from me has their legs crossed and their finger thoughtfully on their chin, I will catch myself doing the same. If I'm speaking to a large group of people, I subconsciously change my posture to more closely mirror theirs.

This is all superficial stuff, but my desire to fit in has me doing it mentally as well. I take on the behaviors of those around me. So much so that sometimes I'll sit back and think, "Wow, do I really think this way? Because when I'm over in this other place, doing this other thing, I don't believe that at all."

It frightens me because sometimes I don't know what's *me* or not. Am I really trans*? Or maybe this is so horribly deranged ploy by my brain has adopted in a subconscious effort to get negative attention. "Ooo, look at me! I'm unique. I'm different. Come comfort and love me." UGH!

I think these things and then I put this whole trans* thing out of my head and move forward, right? And then I wake up a day or two later and feel really... bad about my body. Facial hair, arm hair, my nasty, half-grown head hair... my deep voice, UGH.

Yes, I know it's time to talk to somebody about this, but I simply have no time. I work 9-10 hours a day, have school 3 days a week, and have a MOUNTAIN of homework that I'm still behind on, and we're only 6 weeks into the 16 week semester. Somewhere in there I need downtime to try and relax... but I'm staying up until 2-4AM every morning to do that as it is...



Maybe the camouflage personality is part of who you are? "You" don't have to be consistent in all situations, few actually are.

Take me, I generally harbour the same flaws and strengths in most situations, but their expression vary greatly from setting to setting.

At school I am visually weird, through hair and clothing, but meek and nervous around people. Especially more than two people at once. ._.

Online, I am quite a lot sillier and more free, but I am still quite nervous about what I say. Which you might have noticed through my rampant apologising and overuse of emoticons. ^_^'

So you might just be a very flexible character, a person who hold the comfort of others above definite traits. Or maybe you are a social ninja! But it is You no matter how invisible it seems. :smallsmile:

[golentan]

Not to sound like a Lix fangirl but... Yes. This. :)

Give in to the fangirl within. Give in, and allow yourself to be lixed.

[Caustic Soda]

You look rather like one of my female cousins in that picture, Heliomance. Except that your jawline is more pronounced. I'd say that's pretty androgynous.

[Lady Tialait]

This is relevant to my interests.

So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
But, really, its just me being weak.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.


Rabbit, it's not you being weak. It is you being scared. It's scary to think you are not going to be accepted, especially when you simply do not see a lot of non-conforming behavior. You just keep trekkin'!


On a side note: Heliomance I wish I was as feminine looking as you, and I have two large obviously female protrusions on my chest.

[Coidzor]

So how did you touch up your eyebrows anyway? All I can see is that the very outer edges are pointed slightly more down than they were as I recall them from the last time I saw them.

Keveak: I rather doubt that. While we all wear various hats, there's generally a bit more substance to us than "has the ability to wear multiple hats and change them quickly"

[Asta Kask]

Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.
Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. I've really been thinking about my gender lately. I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. I mean I get that people have good and bad days. That's a given but... *sigh*

At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. Some days it feels like I'm all bs. That there *is* no "real" me.

Edit: Dang it!!! I just read Natalie's blog for the first time, and the very first thing I read is how horribly cis-biased what I just wrote was!!! Gah, I hate myself now. I'm so, so sorry to everybody I just offended.

If you read through my posts over there (that should take a while), you'll see just how wrong I have been. But that's not the point. The point is I'm willing to change and I'm willing to work for it. We are not born knowing all of this, we have to learn and we have to learn from someone.

Since I started reading Natalie's blog I have had to re-evaluate my opinions about drug abusers and the so-called working classes and thoroughly work through my thoughts about what is proper and improper behavior around trans people. It's difficult, sure. My cognitive dissonance from one of her posts was probably part of what sent me to the mental hospital. But the alternative is to live a lie and I'm not willing to do that.

I cannot believe that the goal of Natalie's blog is to induce shame and guilt in the readers. It is to open our eyes to a new world with new vistas and new opportunities. And whatever else I know, one thing is for sure - self-loathing is never the answer.

*hug*


I sort of get that. There's quite a bit of difference between the internet-me, the internet persona I act, and the self I have in munspace. Sometimes I don't even know if any of them have any resemblance to me anymore.

Internet-me and meatspace me are two different things. They have many things in common, but I'm considerably more flirty on the Internet, for instance. But that's what humans do - we adapt to the environment. Things that are proper to say in one company are not proper to say in others. And that's fine.

*hug*

[Heliomance]

So how did you touch up your eyebrows anyway? All I can see is that the very outer edges are pointed slightly more down than they were as I recall them from the last time I saw them.

Thinned them down a bit so they're not bushy caterpillars, shortened them a bit at both ends, and made an attempt at putting a little bit of an arch in. Not sure how well that bit worked though.

[H Birchgrove]

I'm waiting approval from deviantART, but hopefully, #Heroes-of-GiantitP is soon up and running! ("Superheroes of the Playground" was too long a title for the group... Ces't la vie!) :smallbiggrin:


:smallredface:

Thank you. I'm very interested in three areas where transgender issues are important.

Philosophy: What is a man/woman? Who gets to say?
Neuroscience: What do transgender people tell us about how the brain represents gender?
Justice: I have a passion for justice, for not standing aside when evil is done. And I've almost always been the weak one. The feeling of getting to help others, to be the strong one for once is... exhilirating.

But none of this would have mattered if it hadn't been for the members of this thread. I think the first trans person I knew closer was Lix, and you know how it is with her - once you've met her you're lost. You can't believe anything bad about trans people after that. And the other trans people in this thread have only strengthened that feeling. You are wonderful, wonderful people all of you.

And then, activism. Natalie Reed taught me just how bad trans people have it. She gave me cold hard figures that I couldn't deny. After a momentary BSOD I've decided that the time for action is now.



Asta

Your name

Is Awesome.

And what's this?
Philosophy and justice?

Asta

You sir

Are Awesome.



When I first came to the thread I was driven mainly by curiosity. And that's all fine and dandy, but it's a little cold. Seeing people as interesting curiosities rather than as full humans. But the more I discussed with people here, and especially you via the CrackForum, the more I came to re-evaluate my stance. Of course I knew on some abstract plane that everyone here is human (except golentan), but it wasn't internalized. But your whimsical net-personality drove it home for me. Thinking of my bubbly little Lix being persecuted for what she was... unbearable. And so I joined the thread as a friend and ally, rather than as a scientist.

I agree with SiuiS. :smallcool:

Despite our different backgrounds and experience, there is much I recognize in what dear Asta is writing. The curious mind, the scientific point-of-view (even though I'm far from being as smart as Asta), the need to realise how wrong I was, etc. I can only hope I will become as good and as open-minded as Asta. :smallsmile:

PS. Sorry for not replying sooner, Anders. I got carried away by other things.

[Triscuitable]

So I found that there's an LGBT club at my high school. I'm going to pressure them into adding an "A" to the end of that. :smallbiggrin:

[noparlpf]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

You look nice. n.n
Although possibly a little more on the feminine side than androgynous.


So I found that there's an LGBT club at my high school. I'm going to pressure them into adding an "A" to the end of that. :smallbiggrin:

You can tell them that an internet stranger going by the alias "Jude Paxmrosy" approves of this.

[Triscuitable]

You can tell them that an internet stranger going by the alias "Jude Paxmrosy" approves of this.

Will do that. One of my classmates actually walked up during a Powerpoint Presentation and announced she was bisexual.

The guts it takes to say that in a school full of the most stupid kids is impressive. Either that, or she did it for popularity. I wouldn't be happy to learn that.

[Coidzor]

Why would you interrupt someone else's power point presentation to come out of the closet though? :smallconfused: Was it topical to the presentation or something?

[H Birchgrove]

Heliomance, you look pretty. :smallsmile:

Hugs Al'izh'dheg, Asta Kask, Lix Lorn, RabbitHoleLost, and anyone else who is in need of a hug! :smallsmile:

I was feeling terribly lonely and sad a few hours ago, as well as insomniac (after waking up after two hours of sleep), which weren't cured by cuddling my pillows. :smallfrown: Visits to Facebook and deviantART helped me though, and I'm feeling tired again. :smallsmile:

Important announcement: AFAIK, there will no longer be sterilization of transsexual persons who want to do transition in Sweden! There also seems to be an opening for reproductive rights for trans persons. :smallbiggrin:

Less important announcement: Heroes-of-Giantitp on deviantART (http://heroes-of-giantitp.deviantart.com/) has been created. Co-founders are needed! Members are wanted! Art and stories are appreciated! :smallcool:

[SiuiS]

Reading the bit Asta posted about backhanded compliments, I am struck by how the tone, unintentional though it may be, comes across almost like whining. All of the problems listed are not specifically trans problems. I have dealt with all sorts of folks who go through almost every darn thing there.

My first reaction was that she is asking for special consideration because of being trans. Appropriately, I slapped myself and looked again. After all, there's nothing inherently wrong with asking for extra consideration, and every subject deserves its own unique scrutiny.

So what would make me respond to everyday problems in such a way? Repetition. This isn't whining, this is someone getting so flustered by the same things over and over that she has gone on the attack as politely as possible. In that context, and given the way it is written, I have to support the effort.

I looked it over from several other angles, and I have a lot of food for thought. I'll spare you all, as my personal thoughts tend not to make sense outside of my unique framework. But one thing continues to stand out as something I dot have an answer for (not even 'there is no singular answer' though that's probably most accurate).

Passing is brought up as something that is not necessarily an aspiration. Hm. Actually this makes more sense as time goes on, but I suppose typing it out is helping me formulate and answer it so I'll continue.

I do no understand... What was it, finding trans worthwhile in and of itself? From what I have gathered, it is a terrible malady to suffer through. It is a sense of feeling Other but wanting to be Same. So... Why say one should learn to value that Otherness?

Certainly, desiring Sameness is not a motive that could be given to everyone (even discounting people who go for Otherness as a path of least resistance and rebellion) but, well, I feel like I am missing the point. I'm starting to get it, as bits and pieces fall into place in my head. It's not a discrete problem, it's a complete system, full of IF/THEN/ELSE junctions. I will have to make due with that for now.

Now, to figure out if it's worth goin back for the stuff I had quoted but delayed on from this morning...

[Triscuitable]

That's a really good look for you, Heliomance.

[golentan]

Less important announcement: Heroes-of-Giantitp on deviantART (http://heroes-of-giantitp.deviantart.com/) has been created. Co-founders are needed! Members are wanted! Art and stories are appreciated! :smallcool:

It says joining is not allowed at this time.

I have a whole bunch of motivational posters to contribute, tho.

[Asta Kask]

Despite our different backgrounds and experience, there is much I recognize in what dear Asta is writing. The curious mind, the scientific point-of-view (even though I'm far from being as smart as Asta), the need to realise how wrong I was, etc. I can only hope I will become as good and as open-minded as Asta. :smallsmile:

He! I've discovered from Nat's posts just how far from open-minded I am. But at least I try. There's a douchebag over at this (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/15/target-audiences-and-playing-nice/) who just said that Natalie is only there because of some misguided diversity policies. Get thee there and answer him!

[Heliomance]

Argle. I don't want to go to rehearsals for next week's show because I don't want to have to sing bass. I've never been this bad before.

[Asta Kask]

Natalie is planning a series on coming out and transitioning next week. You might find some tips and hints there.

*hugs*

[Lea Plath]

It may have already been posted, but this is something I found interesting, might be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBabpK_nvs0

And...err...I hope I am OK to ask this, but I've got a friend who is transitioning now, and a few of the people I know are transgender, but I've never really asked them.

What does it feel like to transition to you? Did you feel better during it? More free?

And do you think the internet has helped you?

Thanks and sorry if I am being rude.

[Astrella]

Well I kind of wanna wear a skirt to school one day... Just one, but I'll put in the needed effort(my legs will be hairless for weeks...)

We also found out a week or two ago (during applied music class, me and my two good female friends in that class) that I wear women's clothing surprisingly well. It gave me a figure and a bust. I kinda liked it too... Does that make me weird?(and I ask that on this thread :smalltongue:) Well it certainly doesn't make me transexual, I rather like being a guy, I just like women's clothing for some reason.

Nothing weird about that; also, your friends sound pretty awesome.


I got a facial today hahaha :smallbiggrin: I've never felt so feminine or pampered~
Followed by a few hours of power tools, PVC, and lumber. Grrrr mantime! :smallyuk:
It was weird my mom set up the facial and she is pretty anti lgbt so I dunno whats going on

*rubs cheeks*

~ ♅

:D


I'm going to my first conference today, and presenting research! Eee! :smallbiggrin::smalleek::smallbiggrin::smalleek::s mallbiggrin:

Awesome~


http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

You look very lovely~


So I found that there's an LGBT club at my high school. I'm going to pressure them into adding an "A" to the end of that. :smallbiggrin:

Cool, It'd be even better if you could convince them to go with LGBTA+ or something similar.


I do no understand... What was it, finding trans worthwhile in and of itself? From what I have gathered, it is a terrible malady to suffer through. It is a sense of feeling Other but wanting to be Same. So... Why say one should learn to value that Otherness?

Certainly, desiring Sameness is not a motive that could be given to everyone (even discounting people who go for Otherness as a path of least resistance and rebellion) but, well, I feel like I am missing the point. I'm starting to get it, as bits and pieces fall into place in my head. It's not a discrete problem, it's a complete system, full of IF/THEN/ELSE junctions. I will have to make due with that for now.

Now, to figure out if it's worth goin back for the stuff I had quoted but delayed on from this morning...

It's more that it subtely implies being trans* is less than being cis. (Also take note that not every trans* person wants to pass (all the time); GQ folk for example.) It's the whole line "I would've never been able to tell." that carries with it a strong undercurrent of "but you look so normal.".

(And yes, a lot of this stuff can be applied to other things as well; I don't think Natalie is saying that this stuff is something to take in consideration only among trans* folk.)


It may have already been posted, but this is something I found interesting, might be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBabpK_nvs0

And...err...I hope I am OK to ask this, but I've got a friend who is transitioning now, and a few of the people I know are transgender, but I've never really asked them.

What does it feel like to transition to you? Did you feel better during it? More free?

And do you think the internet has helped you?

Thanks and sorry if I am being rude.

Well, I haven't really started transitioning myself, so I can't really answer that, but I do know from other people's accounts that it's a turbulent time, because you have lot to handle, a lot of changes to go through, both personal and with your environment, but it does make you feel better. What I hear a lot is anxiety going down a lot; emotions finally feeling real, no longer dampened out, etc. (And the regret rate for transitioning is incredibly low, and those that do often have more regrets because of outward reactions than issues with transitioning itself.)

The internet has helped me a ton; not only has it helped me find information to help figure out myself, but I've also met some cool friends, which allowed me to explore and experiment with my identity online.

---------------------------------

Sympathy and a lot strength wished for RabbitHoleLost, Al'izh'dheg, Helio and everyone else who needs it.

[The Succubus]

Ladies and gents, I give you what is perhaps the finest work I've done to date - "Paladins in Love":

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2993/palies.png

[Asta Kask]

That's so cute. My heart melted instantly.

[squidbreath]

"Less important announcement: Heroes-of-Giantitp on deviantART has been created. Co-founders are needed! Members are wanted! Art and stories are appreciated! "


It says joining is not allowed at this time.

I have a whole bunch of motivational posters to contribute, tho.

==


"Sorry! Join requests are closed at this time."

Please fix. *puppy eyes*

[noparlpf]

He! I've discovered from Nat's posts just how far from open-minded I am. But at least I try. There's a douchebag over at this (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/15/target-audiences-and-playing-nice/) who just said that Natalie is only there because of some misguided diversity policies. Get thee there and answer him!

That's called being open-minded, isn't it? You're aware of your limited experience and perspective, and you try to learn more about things you haven't experienced or have difficulty understanding. I'm just a kid, but that sounds like open-mindedness to me.


It may have already been posted, but this is something I found interesting, might be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBabpK_nvs0

Darn it, I went home for break a day too soon. I don't have a desk here, so I can't *headdesk*.
I got through about two minutes.

[H Birchgrove]

Follow up:
Sweden will remove the sterilization requirement (http://www.tgeu.org/Sweden_will_remove_the_sterilization_requirement)


He! I've discovered from Nat's posts just how far from open-minded I am. But at least I try. There's a douchebag over at this (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/15/target-audiences-and-playing-nice/) who just said that Natalie is only there because of some misguided diversity policies. Get thee there and answer him!

I'm currently reading it; I'll reply to him if I find the right counter-arguments.

Or I'll just release The dogs of war (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dogs_of_war_%28phrase%29), the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Horsemen_of_the_Apocalypse_in_popular_culture ), and the V-bombers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V_bomber) on him. :smallamused: :smallyuk:


It says joining is not allowed at this time.

I have a whole bunch of motivational posters to contribute, tho.

I'll check if I can do something about that, or see if it's some type of time limit thingie. :smallconfused:

I'd be very much pleased if you posted here or PM'd your DA username, so I can invite you. :smallsmile:


It may have already been posted, but this is something I found interesting, might be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBabpK_nvs0

[snip]

Thanks and sorry if I am being rude.

That's a great video; I feel sorry for all those who have to endure such nonsense! Being bi-sexual isn't the same as being gay, nor did I chose to be bi, dammit...

I don't think you're rude, but I'll let the trans and ace members of this site be the judge of that... :smallwink:

[Lea Plath]

Darn it, I went home for break a day too soon. I don't have a desk here, so I can't *headdesk*.
I got through about two minutes.

What is wrong with it?

[Astrella]

What is wrong with it?

I think he's refering to the statements that are being mocked, rather than the video itself.

[Asta Kask]

It may have already been posted, but this is something I found interesting, might be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBabpK_nvs0

And...err...I hope I am OK to ask this, but I've got a friend who is transitioning now, and a few of the people I know are transgender, but I've never really asked them.

What does it feel like to transition to you? Did you feel better during it? More free?

And do you think the internet has helped you?

Thanks and sorry if I am being rude.

Natalie Reed (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed) says it's the best decision she ever made, and that she has gone from severely depressed to chipper.

I think I'm a little bit in love with her. I promise, I won't mention her in my next post. But no guarantees after that!

[noparlpf]

What is wrong with it?

It's been a while since I've encountered statements like that, and I just couldn't listen to it even as satire.

[Triscuitable]

Why would you interrupt someone else's power point presentation to come out of the closet though? :smallconfused: Was it topical to the presentation or something?

It was her presentation. It was kind of like some others saying they were Muslim. They clearly thought it would be controversial.

[H Birchgrove]

"Less important announcement: Heroes-of-Giantitp on deviantART has been created. Co-founders are needed! Members are wanted! Art and stories are appreciated! "



==


"Sorry! Join requests are closed at this time."

Please fix. *puppy eyes*

I've fixed it. Mind, I'll have a very hands on approach until there are a reasonable amount of co-founders, and I'm a bit ill for the moment (just a cold and a sour throat), so please be patient.

It helps if you tell who you are on GiantitP when you ask for co-founder status. :smallsmile:


Ladies and gents, I give you what is perhaps the finest work I've done to date - "Paladins in Love":

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2993/palies.png

I LOVE IT! :smallbiggrin: :smallredface:

Mister Succubus, I could *kiss* you. :smallredface:

THANK YOU SO MUCH! :smallbiggrin:


That's so cute. My heart melted instantly.

Mine too! :smallbiggrin:

[Lix Lorn]

Argle. I don't want to go to rehearsals for next week's show because I don't want to have to sing bass. I've never been this bad before.
(hugs tightly)


And...err...I hope I am OK to ask this, but I've got a friend who is transitioning now, and a few of the people I know are transgender, but I've never really asked them.

What does it feel like to transition to you? Did you feel better during it? More free?

And do you think the internet has helped you?

Thanks and sorry if I am being rude.
Well, I haven't started transitioning yet, but acting female, even on the internet, feels natural and comfortable and right.

And the internet is, as a slight (very slight) exaggeration, all I have.


I think I'm a little bit in love with her. I promise, I won't mention her in my next post. But no guarantees after that!
Asta doesn't love me anymore ;_;

[Heliomance]

So, my dysphoria has subsided down to its normal levels of simply envying women. The last day has given me a big insight into what trans folk go through though. The surge of "this body is WRONG" that hit me was no fun at all, and I had to cope with it for a day and a half. I can't imagine how you cope living with it your whole lives.

[Asta Kask]

Asta doesn't love me anymore ;_;

I have a big heart, it can hold many loves.

[Lix Lorn]

Oh good. I need to kidnap you from sweden.

(Is sure there's a stockholm syndrome joke here to make.)

[Asta Kask]

Nah. My brother lives in Stockholm and I don't think he'd come with you.

[noparlpf]

Natalie Reed (http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed) says it's the best decision she ever made, and that she has gone from severely depressed to chipper.

I think I'm a little bit in love with her. I promise, I won't mention her in my next post. But no guarantees after that!

Only a little bit? You sure?

[Asta Kask]

Could be more... :smallredface:

Ahh well, I guess that'll pass as well.

Is it easier to transition from female-to-male or from male-to-female? Does anyone know?

[The Succubus]

I LOVE IT! :smallbiggrin: :smallredface:

Mister Succubus, I could *kiss* you. :smallredface:

THANK YOU SO MUCH! :smallbiggrin:



Mine too! :smallbiggrin:

I have a couple of requests. Would it be cool if I use this for the Iron Avatarist Valentine competition and two, the price for doing this is one of you has to eventually fly out and see the other, then smooch them passionately for several minutes.

[Lix Lorn]

Could be more... :smallredface:

Ahh well, I guess that'll pass as well.

Is it easier to transition from female-to-male or from male-to-female? Does anyone know?
From what I've heard, the latter is generally easier.

[Astrella]

Could be more... :smallredface:

Ahh well, I guess that'll pass as well.

Is it easier to transition from female-to-male or from male-to-female? Does anyone know?

Depends in what context; FTM's have the advantage that it's easier to masculinize a body than the reverse, so testosterone will have generally have better effects / work quicker than HRT for MTF's. SRS for FTM's isn't as advanced as it is for MTF's though.

[turkishproverb]

Ladies and gents, I give you what is perhaps the finest work I've done to date - "Paladins in Love":

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2993/palies.png

Awww...Adorable.

[Astrella]

Insert explicitive.. (http://transgenderuk.org/2012/02/transphobic-paddy-power-ladys-day-advert/) :smallmad:

Also, that is a great drawing there, Succubus. :smallsmile:

[Triscuitable]

Insert explicitive.. (http://transgenderuk.org/2012/02/transphobic-paddy-power-ladys-day-advert/) :smallmad:

Also, that is a great drawing there, Succubus. :smallsmile:

Hey everyone, can I ask a question?

Sure, all this stuff is awful, and controversial, and in poor taste, but I have one issue. Why do we focus on the bad stuff, instead of the good stuff? Remember that story a few months back with the kid who knew she was a girl from the day she was born, and pressured his parents to get the Op done before pubert, and they did? Let's focus on that stuff, the lighthearted, happy warm feelings, instead of the hate from a dying culture that is filled with intolerant douchebags.

[noparlpf]

Insert explicitive.. (http://transgenderuk.org/2012/02/transphobic-paddy-power-ladys-day-advert/) :smallmad:

Also, that is a great drawing there, Succubus. :smallsmile:

>:|


Hey everyone, can I ask a question?

Sure, all this stuff is awful, and controversial, and in poor taste, but I have one issue. Why do we focus on the bad stuff, instead of the good stuff? Remember that story a few months back with the kid who knew she was a girl from the day she was born, and pressured his parents to get the Op done before pubert, and they did? Let's focus on that stuff, the lighthearted, happy warm feelings, instead of the hate from a dying culture that is filled with intolerant douchebags.

Well, we tend to focus on negative things. We're a very depressing species.

[Lix Lorn]

Because, as a race, humanity has a tendency to look at the negative.[/anthropologyfromarmchairpsychologist]

[Nix Nihila]

Hey everyone, can I ask a question?

Sure, all this stuff is awful, and controversial, and in poor taste, but I have one issue. Why do we focus on the bad stuff, instead of the good stuff? Remember that story a few months back with the kid who knew she was a girl from the day she was born, and pressured his parents to get the Op done before pubert, and they did? Let's focus on that stuff, the lighthearted, happy warm feelings, instead of the hate from a dying culture that is filled with intolerant douchebags.

That's nice for her, but I don't see that as a good thing. She'll still face loads of prejudice, she's simply luckier than most of us.

[Triscuitable]

That's nice for her, but I don't see that as a good thing. She'll still face loads of prejudice, she's simply luckier than most of us.

Did you forget about the article? It delved into how after she had the surgery, the school district prevented her from using the girl's bathrooms, girl's locker rooms, etc. She was moved to a private school, where she was completely tolerated for who she was (a GIRL), and they all lived happily ever after.

[Arachu]

Two days of absence * several posts I just can't ignore = one long post + about twenty tabs... :smalltongue:

I got a facial today hahaha :smallbiggrin: I've never felt so feminine or pampered~

~ ♅

:smallbiggrin:


As I recall saying in another thread not so long ago, The Succubus is quite different to {real name redacted}. I am slowly working on bringing more of my outgoing online persona into meatspace but it is difficult.

I also don't have wings in real life. :smallfrown:

I have about four or five personae going on, with the quietest/meanest showing around my parents and the happiest/most outgoing appearing here (and around my cousins/friends, though I reference penis just a little more often (at least twice every five sentences or so :smalltongue:)).

I don't have my avatar's burn scar (fortunately), but I also don't have its ominous green glow of doom. >:[ :smalltongue:


This is relevant to my interests.

So, anyways. There have been certain events lately that have called my attention back to this thread, and to how unconnected I am in the LGBT world.

I guess I settled. There really isn't any other way to describe what I did. I locked myself up and in and pretended that I wasn't anything that wasn't "heteronormative". I admitted my sexuality only under certain situations, guilted myself for queer behavior... I pretty much locked myself back into the closet, told myself to be quiet about it, and judged others for not being so.
I wanna say its because of the State I live in. I want to say its because Oklahoma is like that- we accept you, so long as you stay quiet and keep your nose down.
Do your business in the dark, alone, and in shame.
But, really, its just me being weak.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made anyone feel less by making my "Be who you are, but be demure about it" stances.

There's another, more personal issue going on in my life, but seeing as I'm slowly going through the process of peeking back out of the closet again, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to accept it, much less talk about it with others.

*Hugs!*

There's no reason to feel guilty about it, but there's no reason to feel bad for feeling guilty either. There's a lot of emotional luggage tied to sexuality.

... *more hugs*



Edit: Dang it!!! I just read Natalie's blog for the first time, and the very first thing I read is how horribly cis-biased what I just wrote was!!! Gah, I hate myself now. I'm so, so sorry to everybody I just offended.

*Hugs* No offense taken. It's really scary sometimes... I'm still cringing about the breakdown I had after seeing SRS results for the first time...


I'm curious as to what it was like getting the facial. I've wanted to do something like get my nails done or get laser hair removal of my facial hair or.. something. But I always worry about how I'd be received.

You should do whatever you feel will make you more comfortable - scratch that, you deserve to. Besides, the hair removal's probably the most noticeable thing and it'll probably just look like you're good at shaving. :smallsmile:

I've been meaning to post some pointers on nail care, but it'll be kind of wordy so I've been putting it off (I'll totally do that at some point today - promise). :smalltongue:


http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

That's a bad photo? :smallconfused: :smallbiggrin:


So I found that there's an LGBT club at my high school. I'm going to pressure them into adding an "A" to the end of that. :smallbiggrin:

Go for it. *fist-bump*


I was feeling terribly lonely and sad a few hours ago, as well as insomniac (after waking up after two hours of sleep), which weren't cured by cuddling my pillows. :smallfrown: Visits to Facebook and deviantART helped me though, and I'm feeling tired again. :smallsmile:

Important announcement: AFAIK, there will no longer be sterilization of transsexual persons who want to do transition in Sweden! There also seems to be an opening for reproductive rights for trans persons. :smallbiggrin:

While I'm offended that sterilization was required to begin with (I almost[//i] forgot about that :/), I'm that much more happy that it no longer is. :smallsmile:

I was cuddling my pillows for a while, but they just wouldn't warm up enough to rival body temperature (they also didn't breath or have heartbeats, but that wouldn't exactly be comforting in this case :smalltongue:). At least that cold feeling from last year's gone... I think I can handle almost anything after that.


It may have already been posted, but this is something I found interesting, might be for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBabpK_nvs0

And...err...I hope I am OK to ask this, but I've got a friend who is transitioning now, and a few of the people I know are transgender, but I've never really asked them.

What does it feel like to transition to you? Did you feel better during it? More free?

And do you think the internet has helped you?

Thanks and sorry if I am being rude.

I haven't been able to transition in any formal sense, but what feminization I've managed so far helps somewhat. It's a bit tedious (the few tools I don't have to improvise aren't meant to be used so much), but the time [i]definitely isn't being wasted. It feels like I can finally breathe, if that makes any sense. :smallsmile:

Plus, every change I make is a little more empowering - all I need to buff my nails is a slip of paper. :smallcool:

The internet's really helpful, once you think of what to Google - there's a guide/Wikihow/blog/etc. for just about every skill you can develop.

And then there are support groups like this one... If it weren't for these fine folks, I'd probably never have figured it out. *glomps thread* :smallbiggrin:


Ladies and gents, I give you what is perhaps the finest work I've done to date - "Paladins in Love":

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2993/palies.png

:cuteness-induced BSOD: :smallbiggrin:


It's been a while since I've encountered statements like that, and I just couldn't listen to it even as satire.

I only made it about halfway through. I'm not asexual, but I've heard those same comments more times than I care to have (and not just about sex, either). :/

The serial killer one made me chuckle a bit, though (I mean, the lighting was perfect). :smalltongue:

[SiuiS]

Ladies and gents, I give you what is perhaps the finest work I've done to date - "Paladins in Love":

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2993/palies.png

Awww~
Well done, The Succubus!


Hey everyone, can I ask a question?

Sure, all this stuff is awful, and controversial, and in poor taste, but I have one issue. Why do we focus on the bad stuff, instead of the good stuff? Remember that story a few months back with the kid who knew she was a girl from the day she was born, and pressured his parents to get the Op done before pubert, and they did? Let's focus on that stuff, the lighthearted, happy warm feelings, instead of the hate from a dying culture that is filled with intolerant douchebags.

Because you can't do anything about happily ever after. You wouldn't want to.
But this? This is a clear sign that someone needs to be educated. And I don't know abou you, but I cannot let a problem sit if it is within my power to fix it; it nags at me, tears at my mind.

But one can one pony do? No, it's better to get help from friends who also try to right such wrongs yes? And so it is linked where relevant. It did say "report this advert to the proper authorities" after all.

[Nix Nihila]

Did you forget about the article? It delved into how after she had the surgery, the school district prevented her from using the girl's bathrooms, girl's locker rooms, etc. She was moved to a private school, where she was completely tolerated for who she was (a GIRL), and they all lived happily ever after.

I sincerely doubt that she's living entirely free of prejudice. If someone else disagrees with me, I'd be interested in hearing what they have to say, but I really don't see it as a positive thing in any situation. It's wonderful that she's been able to mitigate many of the unpleasant things about being trans, but I'm not going to say that it's a good thing she's trans (maybe she would. I won't put words in her mouth.)

Edit: I just realized that I'm probably addressing a different issue than the one you raised.

[Triscuitable]

This is a clear sign that someone needs to be educated. And I don't know abou you, but I cannot let a problem sit if it is within my power to fix it; it nags at me, tears at my mind.

But one can one pony do? No, it's better to get help from friends who also try to right such wrongs yes? And so it is linked where relevant. It did say "report this advert to the proper authorities" after all.

True, but it's hard to see the optimism when it's a small flag in sea of pessimism. I have no issues with the happily ever after, but if you see your sexuality, your gender, what makes you you, and all you can see is negativity, then why? Why bother looking for the negativity?

People won't like you. People don't like me. People question me, tease me, bully me, and many other horrible things. I get called horrible, horrible names. People can hide who they are, live in fear. I understand why they would do that. Completely. But what happens when you can't hide who you are? Even if I dyed my hair, my freckles cover my entire body. My skin is far too pale to be considered normal. People think it's funny to call me a ginger, to insult me based on how I appear.

I have to cope with that, but I never look for news on how people are trying to bash gingers. I just deal with it, and I show my pride in my red hair, just as the LGBT community shows their pride with their sexuality, and how they're open about it. I do that, because it's the only thing I can do. You take the insults, or you show that you can deal with them, and send a smile to those who call you "gay", who call you "tranny", who call you "slut" or "freak" or any other horrible slur.

You don't just say, "hey, maybe I'll check my favorite community with all my transgender friends, see what horrible news they've found, like some UK guys are going to parade around looking for anyone who is transgender." You say, "I'm going to look for the amazing advances the LGBT community has made."

Washington became the seventh state to allow same-sex marriage. My aunts can get married now. I read that story, instead of a story about how a kid committed suicide because the intolerant kids at his school bullied him.

You know why these horrible stories are posted? Because people read them, and complain, and further the writer's reason to gather more info on these horrible events. A lot of these writers don't care if the stories are good or bad, they care about publicity. You stop reading them, and they stop writing them. Sure, if you want to know about these things, fine, but keep in mind, all that video you shared earlier did was bring it more attention. If you hadn't, you wouldn't be frustrated, and the video would be just a little less known. Maybe showing it made it go viral. Maybe it didn't have that big of an impact. If everyone sees it, then it's viral. Everyone knows about it. Remember Rick Perry's "Pride" campaign advertisement? People found out about it because in the states it was played in, people were disgusted. The YouTube channel it was posted on became huge, getting subscribers out of hate, rather than funny cat videos. Rick Perry became known because he was intolerant, and made controversial statements to rile up a community who is constantly trying, every day, harder than he ever will.

[The Succubus]

Oh the joys of being ginger. I remember my school days with a mixture of horror and loathing. :smallannoyed:

But it's as Asta said. Originally I came here to find out more about the LGBTPAetc community but now that I've been here a while and met such awesome folks like Birch, Nix, Asta, Lix and so many, many more, I find all I want to do is come here to talk with them. Stuff like their gender and what not means as much to me as their eye colour now. :smallsmile:

[Heliomance]

So, my dysphoria has subsided down to its normal levels of simply envying women. The last day has given me a big insight into what trans folk go through though. The surge of "this body is WRONG" that hit me was no fun at all, and I had to cope with it for a day and a half. I can't imagine how you cope living with it your whole lives.

No responses? :smallfrown:

...I was tempted to post some sort of self-deprecating comment like /attentionwhore, but no. I'm not just being stupid, my self-confidence, identity, and psyche took a major hit these past couple of days, and internalizing and suppressing it as unimportant is going to do me no good at all. I'm somewhat lost at sea, and despite apparently being over the worst of it I could use so e support.

I really need to remember it's not a crime to be weak. Accepting help is in many ways harder than giving it.

[Lix Lorn]

No responses? :smallfrown:
I cope by living on the internet. I can pretend I'm what I should be rather than what I appear to be.

I thought it was a rhetorical question.

[Triscuitable]

No responses? :smallfrown:

...I was tempted to post some sort of self-deprecating comment like /attentionwhore, but no. I'm not just being stupid, my self-confidence, identity, and psyche took a major hit these past couple of days, and internalizing and suppressing it as unimportant is going to do me no good at all. I'm somewhat lost at sea, and despite apparently being over the worst of it I could use so e support.

I really need to remember it's not a crime to be weak. Accepting help is in many ways harder than giving it.

I'm sorry, I'm usually up for help, but I'm drowning in my own negativity. :smallfrown:

[Arachu]

No responses? :smallfrown:

...I was tempted to post some sort of self-deprecating comment like /attentionwhore, but no. I'm not just being stupid, my self-confidence, identity, and psyche took a major hit these past couple of days, and internalizing and suppressing it as unimportant is going to do me no good at all. I'm somewhat lost at sea, and despite apparently being over the worst of it I could use so e support.

I really need to remember it's not a crime to be weak. Accepting help is in many ways harder than giving it.

*Hugs!* I took to long coming up with a better response than *hug*...

[Astrella]

No responses? :smallfrown:

...I was tempted to post some sort of self-deprecating comment like /attentionwhore, but no. I'm not just being stupid, my self-confidence, identity, and psyche took a major hit these past couple of days, and internalizing and suppressing it as unimportant is going to do me no good at all. I'm somewhat lost at sea, and despite apparently being over the worst of it I could use so e support.

I really need to remember it's not a crime to be weak. Accepting help is in many ways harder than giving it.

I wasn't sure if it was something that needed a response. :s
But going to echo Lix here, a lot of my coping is done by internets. :c

But it really sucks that you had to go through that, and dysphoria is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. (Though it would create a bit more understanding if more people knew what it felt like. :s )

[The Succubus]

I wish there was something I could say or do to help you folks when you're having dysmorphia problems and the like. I don't know what it's like, so I can't really empathise with it.

All I can offer is a hug over the Internet, so *hugs*.

[Castaras]

Likewise as with Succubus - most I can think of as being anywhere near similar is feeling "wrong" when trying to be a person following the crowd, and that's about as similar as a daffodil is to a mongoose.

Big hugs and all. Fraid I'm just here to lurk and try and get more understanding about the human race in general.

[H Birchgrove]

I have a couple of requests. Would it be cool if I use this for the Iron Avatarist Valentine competition

:smallredface: I'm cool with it, but ask Skeppio too. :smallsmile:


and two, the price for doing this is one of you has to eventually fly out and see the other, then smooch them passionately for several minutes.


My brain is mush (due to the common cold and a following headache); I'm afraid I don't understand... :smallconfused: :smallfrown: :smallredface:


Insert explicitive.. (http://transgenderuk.org/2012/02/transphobic-paddy-power-ladys-day-advert/) :smallmad:

Oh the damn "trap" jokes again? Aside from offending an already persecuted minority group who even without the persecution suffers from medical and psychological problems, you turds make the assumption that *everybody* have something against trans women. :smallfurious:


Also, that is a great drawing there, Succubus. :smallsmile:

It is. :smallredface:


No responses? :smallfrown:

...I was tempted to post some sort of self-deprecating comment like /attentionwhore, but no. I'm not just being stupid, my self-confidence, identity, and psyche took a major hit these past couple of days, and internalizing and suppressing it as unimportant is going to do me no good at all. I'm somewhat lost at sea, and despite apparently being over the worst of it I could use so e support.

I really need to remember it's not a crime to be weak. Accepting help is in many ways harder than giving it.

*hugs* :smallfrown:

There are times I wonder about how it would be like to have girls parts and be physically loved like a woman is physically loved, but since I still like my dude parts and want to keep them and feels like a dude in general, I believe I still cannot fathom how it is to be trans* or gender queer or bi-gender or genderfluid or any other gender beside cis male.

... I guess I'm not really helping, but for some reason I felt it was relevant. :smallsigh:

[Heliomance]

It's not a rational feeling. There's no logic, no reasoning to it. It's visceral, basic. It's feeling that your body is Wrong, that what you are is not what you should be. It made me feel that I had to change or I'd break. It's looking down at yourself and feeling violent disgust. It's looking in the mirror and hating the realisation that the thing looking back is you.

I'm already forgetting details. I can remember just enough to know that I never want to feel like that again. Other trans-folk, have I described it accurately?

[Mono Vertigo]

True, but it's hard to see the optimism when it's a small flag in sea of pessimism. I have no issues with the happily ever after, but if you see your sexuality, your gender, what makes you you, and all you can see is negativity, then why? Why bother looking for the negativity?

People won't like you. People don't like me. People question me, tease me, bully me, and many other horrible things. I get called horrible, horrible names. People can hide who they are, live in fear. I understand why they would do that. Completely. But what happens when you can't hide who you are? Even if I dyed my hair, my freckles cover my entire body. My skin is far too pale to be considered normal. People think it's funny to call me a ginger, to insult me based on how I appear.

I have to cope with that, but I never look for news on how people are trying to bash gingers. I just deal with it, and I show my pride in my red hair, just as the LGBT community shows their pride with their sexuality, and how they're open about it. I do that, because it's the only thing I can do. You take the insults, or you show that you can deal with them, and send a smile to those who call you "gay", who call you "tranny", who call you "slut" or "freak" or any other horrible slur.

You don't just say, "hey, maybe I'll check my favorite community with all my transgender friends, see what horrible news they've found, like some UK guys are going to parade around looking for anyone who is transgender." You say, "I'm going to look for the amazing advances the LGBT community has made."

Washington became the seventh state to allow same-sex marriage. My aunts can get married now. I read that story, instead of a story about how a kid committed suicide because the intolerant kids at his school bullied him.

You know why these horrible stories are posted? Because people read them, and complain, and further the writer's reason to gather more info on these horrible events. A lot of these writers don't care if the stories are good or bad, they care about publicity. You stop reading them, and they stop writing them. Sure, if you want to know about these things, fine, but keep in mind, all that video you shared earlier did was bring it more attention. If you hadn't, you wouldn't be frustrated, and the video would be just a little less known. Maybe showing it made it go viral. Maybe it didn't have that big of an impact. If everyone sees it, then it's viral. Everyone knows about it. Remember Rick Perry's "Pride" campaign advertisement? People found out about it because in the states it was played in, people were disgusted. The YouTube channel it was posted on became huge, getting subscribers out of hate, rather than funny cat videos. Rick Perry became known because he was intolerant, and made controversial statements to rile up a community who is constantly trying, every day, harder than he ever will.
Okay, a few responses to that.
- We don't always look for the negativity, we just stumble upon it. I'm not in this thread for the express purpose of reading about awful things, but I still do read/watch the majority of what is posted here.
- Staying informed on current issues is important. It's easier to recognize our own bias and fight them when we read about the negative things done and said.
- It's also important staying informed about problems and dangers you may face. To give you a concrete example, let me tell you about my case. I shut up about my asexuality, in part because I didn't even know it was a thing, and also because it's personal. I have learnt during the last few years that on top of the aggression I could endure just for being a woman, I could get extra physical/verbal abuse if people knew I was asexual. Now, I'm prepared for this. My BF is FtM, and didn't start transitioning until a few months into our relationship. During the period he still looked like a girl, he did not hold my hand or show affection in front of strangers, which I did not fully understand at first, and I only learnt afterwards about homophobic assaults occurring in the city. I also educated myself on the other issues transexual people may face, which leads me today to enjoy even more every single event that could go wrong in various ways but actually does go right. Staying informed on the negative things associated with our identities is almost vital to us. We cannot afford to just look at the positive and act like the negative doesn't happen.
- As said previously, it's a general trend in humanity to be more interested in negative events than positive events. The same way, you rarely hear about pacific collaborations between countries, even though they are frequent, and more about wars and xenophobia. So, yeah, that's a thing that pretty much always happens once humans are involved in the subject.

[Triscuitable]

Okay, a few responses to that.
- We don't always look for the negativity, we just stumble upon it. I'm not in this thread for the express purpose of reading about awful things, but I still do read/watch the majority of what is posted here.
- Staying informed on current issues is important. It's easier to recognize our own bias and fight them when we read about the negative things done and said.
- It's also important staying informed about problems and dangers you may face. To give you a concrete example, let me tell you about my case. I shut up about my asexuality, in part because I didn't even know it was a thing, and also because it's personal. I have learnt during the last few years that on top of the aggression I could endure just for being a woman, I could get extra physical/verbal abuse if people knew I was asexual. Now, I'm prepared for this. My BF is FtM, and didn't start transitioning until a few months into our relationship. During the period he still looked like a girl, he did not hold my hand or show affection in front of strangers, which I did not fully understand at first, and I only learnt afterwards about homophobic assaults occurring in the city. I also educated myself on the other issues transexual people may face, which leads me today to enjoy even more every single event that could go wrong in various ways but actually does go right. Staying informed on the negative things associated with our identities is almost vital to us. We cannot afford to just look at the positive and act like the negative doesn't happen.
- As said previously, it's a general trend in humanity to be more interested in negative events than positive events. The same way, you rarely hear about pacific collaborations between countries, even though they are frequent, and more about wars and xenophobia. So, yeah, that's a thing that pretty much always happens once humans are involved in the subject.


All I can say in response is this:

I wouldn't feel like everything is so negative if there were a positive story posted for every negative one. Y'know, like cutting down a tree. If we could post a story that's very frustrating, or brings up an interesting topic, we could then quell any anger with a happy story.

I honestly wish my Great Uncle could have been here to see such a development in Washington. He always loved his daughter, and it showed. He'd have been really happy to know that the bill passed. It comes into effect in June, just in time for some beautiful landscapes to see newly-weds begin their lives in legal marriage. :smallsmile:

[Arachu]

Nail care tips:

Not sure if this'll count as a "guide", formally speaking - I've had to improvise a lot of my tools, and learn some tricks off of the Internet. The method I use to shape my nails is actually similar to the process of sharpening a knife (the angle lets you control how pressure affects the nail, and the removal of burs makes them safer and less likely to get damaged).

The first step is to shape them. The ideal shapes are rounded and square - I prefer to round them (square edges are somewhat weak in my experience).

You can wet (and soften) nails before shaping them. They come out weaker afterward, but you can shape them faster if time's a factor. While shaping them, don't move the file back and forth - the friction can weaken or damage them. Each scrape should be in one direction.

Once you have a nice shape, I advise refining it this way;

1) Clear the fingernail powder from under the nails - some of it will still be stuck to the bottom of the edge, and you can't do much with it until that part's clear.

2) De-bur the edge - use the finest file you can get to carefully file the edge at a 90-degree angle, first in one direction and then in the other. It takes a bit to do this part without messing up the shape, but (as you'll feel) the edge gets smoother when you do this. Once you're done, your nails shouldn't catch on things anymore.

3) Sharpen the edge - you do this with the same file you used to smooth the edge, but you hold it at a 45-degree angle instead. The goal is to make the edge slope away from the top of the nail, so it's easier and more comfortable to use them. They do get sharper from this part, but they'll still be safer than they were before you smoothed them (conveniently, being weaker than metal keeps them from getting as sharp as it does :smallsmile:).


After all of that, nail hardener can make them even stronger (and shiny, for that matter :3).

Hopefully all of that was helpful... It's probably wider-known than I've thought it is. ^_^'

In any case, yesterday I got to hang out with my sister - she didn't have any skirts for me to wear (>.<), but she did my nails. :smallbiggrin:

There's a picture, but I'm gonna take a break before I figure out how to post it (I'll also tell the story, which in hindsight was hilarious).

[Asta Kask]

It's not a rational feeling. There's no logic, no reasoning to it. It's visceral, basic. It's feeling that your body is Wrong, that what you are is not what you should be. It made me feel that I had to change or I'd break. It's looking down at yourself and feeling violent disgust. It's looking in the mirror and hating the realisation that the thing looking back is you.

I'm already forgetting details. I can remember just enough to know that I never want to feel like that again. Other trans-folk, have I described it accurately?

I can't understand it, but I can understand that it's a horrible feeling. And that you deserve better. *hugs*

[bluewind95]

I don't think we focus on the negative, per se. I think it's more that we focus on things that give us a stronger emotional reaction. It just so happens that in some topics, there is more negative stuff in the news that elicits strong reactions (because it makes us RAELLY angry). The good stuff doesn't seem to make the news so often, even if it's there. :smallfrown:

[Skeppio]

*snip*

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

:3 You look beautiful!


Ladies and gents, I give you what is perhaps the finest work I've done to date - "Paladins in Love":

*snip*

I love it! :smallbiggrin: *squee*


I have a couple of requests. Would it be cool if I use this for the Iron Avatarist Valentine competition and two, the price for doing this is one of you has to eventually fly out and see the other, then smooch them passionately for several minutes.

1: Go for it! It's your work and effort, after all! :smallsmile:
2: Sure., but you're paying, Succubus. :smalltongue:

[Mina Kobold]

Hey everyone, can I ask a question?

Sure, all this stuff is awful, and controversial, and in poor taste, but I have one issue. Why do we focus on the bad stuff, instead of the good stuff? Remember that story a few months back with the kid who knew she was a girl from the day she was born, and pressured his parents to get the Op done before pubert, and they did? Let's focus on that stuff, the lighthearted, happy warm feelings, instead of the hate from a dying culture that is filled with intolerant douchebags.

I speak only for myself; but I believe it is because we, while we cherish the Elysian fields and want to nourish the Isles of the Blest, we can't just ignore the Tartarus that surrounds us. So to speak. :smallsmile:

We want the utopian happy ending, but we live in a world where many factors would destroy it if we don't address the problems.


True, but it's hard to see the optimism when it's a small flag in sea of pessimism. I have no issues with the happily ever after, but if you see your sexuality, your gender, what makes you you, and all you can see is negativity, then why? Why bother looking for the negativity?

People won't like you. People don't like me. People question me, tease me, bully me, and many other horrible things. I get called horrible, horrible names. People can hide who they are, live in fear. I understand why they would do that. Completely. But what happens when you can't hide who you are? Even if I dyed my hair, my freckles cover my entire body. My skin is far too pale to be considered normal. People think it's funny to call me a ginger, to insult me based on how I appear.

I have to cope with that, but I never look for news on how people are trying to bash gingers. I just deal with it, and I show my pride in my red hair, just as the LGBT community shows their pride with their sexuality, and how they're open about it. I do that, because it's the only thing I can do. You take the insults, or you show that you can deal with them, and send a smile to those who call you "gay", who call you "tranny", who call you "slut" or "freak" or any other horrible slur.

You don't just say, "hey, maybe I'll check my favorite community with all my transgender friends, see what horrible news they've found, like some UK guys are going to parade around looking for anyone who is transgender." You say, "I'm going to look for the amazing advances the LGBT community has made."

Washington became the seventh state to allow same-sex marriage. My aunts can get married now. I read that story, instead of a story about how a kid committed suicide because the intolerant kids at his school bullied him.

You know why these horrible stories are posted? Because people read them, and complain, and further the writer's reason to gather more info on these horrible events. A lot of these writers don't care if the stories are good or bad, they care about publicity. You stop reading them, and they stop writing them. Sure, if you want to know about these things, fine, but keep in mind, all that video you shared earlier did was bring it more attention. If you hadn't, you wouldn't be frustrated, and the video would be just a little less known. Maybe showing it made it go viral. Maybe it didn't have that big of an impact. If everyone sees it, then it's viral. Everyone knows about it. Remember Rick Perry's "Pride" campaign advertisement? People found out about it because in the states it was played in, people were disgusted. The YouTube channel it was posted on became huge, getting subscribers out of hate, rather than funny cat videos. Rick Perry became known because he was intolerant, and made controversial statements to rile up a community who is constantly trying, every day, harder than he ever will.

Again I speak only for myself, but I would very much like to ignore it and be the metaphorical Bruce Wayne all day. Problem is that Gotham still needs the Batman. Or a Queerkitty and Kenderwoman, as the case might be. :3

Ignorance is bliss, but it just means that the bigots and criminals are free to beat someone up over their hair colour, language, sexuality or any number of other nonsensical justifications while we put our fingers in our ears and try to buzz the screams out with a "La li lu le lo". ;_;

That said, I think you are right about it being sad that there seem to be much less positivity than negativity. So I, at least, will try to find more happy endings to share. :smallsmile:

On that note, that picture is adorable, Succubus! X3

Same goes to everybody else, this thread is very adorable. *Glomps Nail-polished Arachu, Squee-worthy Helio and everbody else*

Hey, that gives me an idea. Think you can spring for a ticket for all of us, Succubus? An Extranet-Life (TM) glomp might just be what we need to get some positivism! :3

[Asta Kask]

Is there a special cootie incolation procedure for trans women?

And we're mentioned on Natalie's blog. (freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/19/lazy-sunday/)


Anyway, I just wanted to give a bit of a shout out to the folks in the GitP LGBTQA thread, who seem like really lovely people, and let them know I appreciate their readership. It’s also always awesome to see geek communities that maintain a warm, friendly, safe and supportive environment for LGBTQA people… something a bit too rare, in my experience.

I can now die a happy man. :smallbiggrin:

[Arachu]

It's not a rational feeling. There's no logic, no reasoning to it. It's visceral, basic. It's feeling that your body is Wrong, that what you are is not what you should be. It made me feel that I had to change or I'd break. It's looking down at yourself and feeling violent disgust. It's looking in the mirror and hating the realisation that the thing looking back is you.

I'm already forgetting details. I can remember just enough to know that I never want to feel like that again. Other trans-folk, have I described it accurately?

That hits the nail on the head. It's a horrid feeling... Sorry you had to go through it, even if it didn't last too long. *Hugs*


Is there a special cootie incolation procedure for trans women?

I giggled so hard it actually sounded girly. :smalltongue: :smallbiggrin:


And we're mentioned on Natalie's blog. (freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/19/lazy-sunday/)

I can now die a happy man. :smallbiggrin:

:smalleek: Mind = blown. :smallbiggrin:


EDIT: Right, so without any further procrastinating:

About a week ago, I arranged to go to my sister's to get my nails done (I actually did so the day before yesterday). I just told my parents that we'd be hanging out. :smalltongue:

Technically speaking, my sister's my cousin - I consider her to be my sister because we're really close. We look like twins, anyway. :smallbiggrin:

First she did my nails. I was working on those edges for about a month, but they were pretty thin from my earlier methods - plus, she took off the parts at the sides that were getting just long enough to start to curl.

The cuticle-peeling hurt like holy living hell, but I've felt worse. :smalltongue:

That part was really nice and pleasant... The makeup, not so much. As tough as I am, I just wasn't ready to have brushes and pencils touching my eyelids. -.-

We still got it done eventually, but I couldn't sit still so I came out looking like a Batman villain. According to our other cousin, I actually looked female anyway (though my voice isn't tuned enough to complete the 'illusion' :/). We also put my hair up, and the portion of bangs I usually cover my left eye with was just curly enough to look wavy. :smallsmile:

She also shaped my eyebrows and gave me a coating of nail polish (after removing the paint). :smallbiggrin:

We didn't take a picture (and I'd be too shy to post it anyway :mitd:), but we did photo some of the nails;
http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/5337/bluenails.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/341/bluenails.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)

They were covered in cobalt blue paint, and a layer of something called Crackle that made that pattern when it dried. I liked them more without, but the contrast was neat. :smallsmile:

[Triscuitable]

Is there a special cootie incolation procedure for trans women?

And we're mentioned on Natalie's blog. (freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/19/lazy-sunday/)



I can now die a happy man. :smallbiggrin:
We're kind-of-sort-of famous! Hooray! I'm drowning in positive light! Someone kiss me! Preferably hugged!

[Coidzor]

Well, hopefully this means we won't be facing undue scrutiny from here on out then.

I shudder to think of some of the face-saving measures that would have to be implemented.

[Lea Plath]

Well, we tend to focus on negative things. We're a very depressing species.

This is truth. We look for patterns and if something good happens "oh cool, what were we doing again?", yeah, we forget it because it allows us to carry on how we normally did stuff, however if it was bad, it would throw us a curve ball and we would remember it.

[Mystic Muse]

I have a question.

Does long straight hair on guys look okay? I was thinking of getting my hair straightened, but I'm worried about it looking bad since I'm physically a guy still. My hair is kind of a mess right now after all.

Also, I really hope I don't inherit the tendency for the men in my family to start going bald. Is there any good way for me to avoid that? Will Hormones affect that at all?


I really don't want to have to wear end up wearing a wig to have the hair I'd like.:smallfrown:

[Asta Kask]

Straight hair is fine. You may want a ponytail, though.

Estrogen therapy... there are reports of it reversing male pattern baldness, but it's not common. Another reason to start transitioning as soon as possible...

[Triscuitable]

I have a question.

Does long straight hair on guys look okay? I was thinking of getting my hair straightened, but I'm worried about it looking bad since I'm physically a guy still. My hair is kind of a mess right now after all.


I've got long hair. It's pretty awesome, and it works for me.

[Castaras]

Long straight hair on guys who suit long hair is good. Go for it. :smallsmile:

[Arachu]

I have a question.

Does long straight hair on guys look okay? I was thinking of getting my hair straightened, but I'm worried about it looking bad since I'm physically a guy still. My hair is kind of a mess right now after all.

Also, I really hope I don't inherit the tendency for the men in my family to start going bald. Is there any good way for me to avoid that? Will Hormones affect that at all?


I really don't want to have to wear end up wearing a wig to have the hair I'd like.:smallfrown:

I don't know about baldness (I think I'll see what Wikipedia has to say)... Straight hair's fine, though. It can look damn good, if it isn't too windy out (or when it's windy, if that's your thing). :smallsmile:

[Coidzor]

Does long straight hair on guys look okay?

That depends, does the hair look okay, good, or healthy? If so, it should be fine. And if it looks bad or unhealthy, well, you'll look bad. If it's down to your tuckus, you're going to have issues, both physical and social.

If you've never really straightened your hair before, there's a (relatively?) low chance that the job might be botched, depending upon how you're doing it. But that's what try and try again is for anyway.


Is there any good way for me to avoid that?

Not as far as I know. One hears about Rogaine, but it always seems a bit sketchy even so.


Will Hormones affect that at all?

Now that. That is a very good question.

[Mystic Muse]

Straight hair is fine. You may want a ponytail, though.

I don't think my hair is long enough.




Estrogen therapy... there are reports of it reversing male pattern baldness, but it's not common. Another reason to start transitioning as soon as possible...

I know. I've found a gender therapist somewhat near me (Less than a 10 minute drive) so that's good. Not sure what he charges though.

[Astrella]

Gaaah, I had a link somewhere that had a good summarized, but detailed description of the expected affects of HRT and a timeline attached, but I can't find it anymore. :s

[Coidzor]

^: Darn, that'd be a handy link to have in the OP. :smallfrown:
I don't think my hair is long enough.

If ye can't put it into a pony tail even after it gains length from being straightened when it was previously curly or wavy, then your hair isn't really long, now is it? :smalltongue:

[Mystic Muse]

^: Darn, that'd be a handy link to have in the OP. :smallfrown:

If ye can't put it into a pony tail even after it gains length from being straightened when it was previously curly or wavy, then your hair isn't really long, now is it? :smalltongue:

It's long-ish!

It goes down to about the base of my neck, and has a tendency to get caught when I lean back.

Okay, so it's not that long, but still...

[noparlpf]

This is truth. We look for patterns and if something good happens "oh cool, what were we doing again?", yeah, we forget it because it allows us to carry on how we normally did stuff, however if it was bad, it would throw us a curve ball and we would remember it.

Though I tend to try hard to focus on positive things, or at least to avoid thinking about negative things.


I have a question.

Does long straight hair on guys look okay? I was thinking of getting my hair straightened, but I'm worried about it looking bad since I'm physically a guy still. My hair is kind of a mess right now after all.

Also, I really hope I don't inherit the tendency for the men in my family to start going bald. Is there any good way for me to avoid that? Will Hormones affect that at all?


I really don't want to have to wear end up wearing a wig to have the hair I'd like.:smallfrown:

Well...I certainly think it does. :b
http://i42.tinypic.com/nf5opk.jpg
http://i39.tinypic.com/35n4lxi.jpg
It depends on the guy. I'd have to see what you look like to say. On the other hand, are you sure worrying about how you look as a guy is the right way to go if looking like a guy makes you unhappy?
And yeah, that male-pattern baldness is a *****. It runs on my mum's side, but my dad is fifty and still has thick hair with hardly any thinning, so I'm hoping I got his hair.

[Arachu]

No opinions on my nails? I thought they looked kinda neat... :/


It's long-ish!

It goes down to about the base of my neck, and has a tendency to get caught when I lean back.

Okay, so it's not that long, but still...

That should be long enough for a ponytail, though depending on the length of the front part you may only be able to get the back. I think the type that looks good on males is about half-down-the-shoulder-length, but I've never thought too hard about it...

[noparlpf]

This is truth. We look for patterns and if something good happens "oh cool, what were we doing again?", yeah, we forget it because it allows us to carry on how we normally did stuff, however if it was bad, it would throw us a curve ball and we would remember it.

Though I tend to try hard to focus on positive things, or at least to avoid thinking about negative things.


I have a question.

Does long straight hair on guys look okay? I was thinking of getting my hair straightened, but I'm worried about it looking bad since I'm physically a guy still. My hair is kind of a mess right now after all.

Also, I really hope I don't inherit the tendency for the men in my family to start going bald. Is there any good way for me to avoid that? Will Hormones affect that at all?


I really don't want to have to wear end up wearing a wig to have the hair I'd like.:smallfrown:

Well...I certainly think it does. :b
http://i42.tinypic.com/nf5opk.jpg
http://i39.tinypic.com/35n4lxi.jpg
It depends on the guy. I'd have to see what you look like to say. On the other hand, are you sure worrying about how you look as a guy is the right way to go if looking like a guy makes you unhappy?
And yeah, that male-pattern baldness is a *****. It runs on my mum's side, but my dad is fifty and still has thick hair with hardly any thinning, so I'm hoping I got his hair.

[Coidzor]

It goes down to about the base of my neck, and has a tendency to get caught when I lean back.

The base of your neck? You mean where your shoulders and neck merge, yes?

That should be long enough to get most of it back in a tail, aside from maybe the bangs, depending upon their current length. I was getting my wavy hair in a tail except for the bangs back when my hair was only about halfway down my neck. Then again, given that I'm 6'1", my neck is a bit long.

[Mystic Muse]

Well...I certainly think it does. :b
http://i42.tinypic.com/nf5opk.jpg
http://i39.tinypic.com/35n4lxi.jpg
It depends on the guy. I'd have to see what you look like to say. On the other hand, are you sure worrying about how you look as a guy is the right way to go if looking like a guy makes you unhappy?

Just kinda trying to get by for right now, and get by without complaints from family about how I look. I might post a picture later.

[Asta Kask]

Suggested motto for transitioning:


long is the way/And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light

[Triscuitable]

Suggested motto for transitioning:

long is the way/And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light

That's a really great one. I suggest keeping that in a locket.

[Qaera]

Suggested motto for transitioning:

Sometimes it feels more like "Abandon all hope" :smalltongue:

~ ♅

[The Succubus]

Sometimes it feels more like "Abandon all hope" :smalltongue:

~ ♅

Wrong book. :smallwink: You're thinking of "Inferno" from The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. 'Tis one of my favourites.

As metaphors go though, it's not bad. The Comedy goes Inferno, Purgatorio then Paradiso. Although Dante's journey is horrific to begin with, eventually he makes out to see the stars.

[Arachu]

Wrong book. :smallwink: You're thinking of "Inferno" from The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. 'Tis one of my favourites.

As metaphors go though, it's not bad. The Comedy goes Inferno, Purgatorio then Paradiso. Although Dante's journey is horrific to begin with, eventually he makes out to see the stars.

What's more, when he's in the Inferno he sees the worst examples of humanity, starting with the misguided and ending with the traitorous.

... What? I don't punch everything. :smalltongue:

[Qaera]

Wrong book. :smallwink: You're thinking of "Inferno" from The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. 'Tis one of my favourites.

As metaphors go though, it's not bad. The Comedy goes Inferno, Purgatorio then Paradiso. Although Dante's journey is horrific to begin with, eventually he makes out to see the stars.

*implodes from embarassment*

~ ♅

[noparlpf]

Was Milton the author of "Paradise Lost"? I haven't read that one. I did read "Inferno", but never got around to "Purgatorio" and "Paradisio".

[The Succubus]

Yah, John Milton wrote "Paradise Lost" in the 1600s (shortly after the Plague & Great Fire of London if my memory isn't fuzzy - I prefer nicer methods of inspiring my creative efforts :smallwink:).

The Divine Comedy is from the 1300s and I might get a chance to see a very, very early copy of it when I go to the UK mini-meet in 2 weeks time. I really hope so! :smallbiggrin:

@Nope: Yeah, I think that's the case with most people. I admit I only skim-read Purgatorio and Paradiso. The trilogy is good and has wonderful metaphors and what not but it's really hard work to read. Might have another shot at it soon now that I have a Kindle.

EDIT: Interestingly enough, I do remember reading Inferno quite thoroughly and I don't recall any mention of LGBTness being a sin.....food for thought.

[KenderWizard]

Hi everyone! I'm home! :smallsmile: Both literally and metaphorically, where this thread is my metaphorical internet home.

First order of business:

Helio, you look great!

Arachu, your nails look great! Probably the rest of you too!


To replying!


That sounds exciting! What are you presenting on, if I may ask?


I was presenting a poster on lithospheric deformation under the Northern Anatolian Fault Zone, which I studied using seismic surface wave velocities to find anisotropy in the crust, mantle lithosphere and asthenosphere.


A case study of her being awesome.


But which one? There are so many!


:smallredface: I did win a gold medal for my poster!




Is he older or younger? My brother is three years younger.
I also tend to act really weird around people and they all think I'm crazy. I'm really just an eccentric genius. Totally.



He's younger.




I also don't have wings in real life. :smallfrown:

Oh, weird. I don't have wings on the internet, but I do in real life.

:smalltongue:



Argle. I don't want to go to rehearsals for next week's show because I don't want to have to sing bass. I've never been this bad before.

If it makes you feel better, about half the tenors in my choir are women, and I've known women to sing bass and men to sing soprano.


I have a question.

Does long straight hair on guys look okay? I was thinking of getting my hair straightened, but I'm worried about it looking bad since I'm physically a guy still. My hair is kind of a mess right now after all.


Long straight hair on guys is HAWT. [/totallynotbiasedbyownpartner] Just keep it nice.

Zzzzzzz.....

[Arachu]

EDIT: Interestingly enough, I do remember reading Inferno quite thoroughly and I don't recall any mention of LGBTness being a sin.....food for thought.

I believe that "sodomy" was in there somewhere (what was the name of the desert bit again...?), though it was used to mean 'depraved sex acts (in general)'. One of his friends was there, but why wasn't mentioned.

Could be the same reason the mother of the Minotaur was there, actually...


Arachu, your nails look great! Probably the rest of you too!

Yay! :smallbiggrin:


I was presenting a poster on lithospheric deformation under the Northern Anatolian Fault Zone, which I studied using seismic surface wave velocities to find anisotropy in the crust, mantle lithosphere and asthenosphere.

What's anisotropy? I got... Most of the rest of that. :smalltongue:


:smallredface: I did win a gold medal for my poster!

Congrats! :smallsmile:


Long straight hair on guys is HAWT.

Yeah, I'll have to echo this sentiment. :smallbiggrin:

[Kindablue]

I believe that "sodomy" was in there somewhere (what was the name of the desert bit again...?), though it was used to mean 'depraved sex acts (in general)'. One of his friends was there, but why wasn't mentioned.

Could be the same reason the mother of the Minotaur was there, actually...
Yeah, the deeper part of the Violent is a burning, infertile desert. Here's a pretty interesting article on homosexuality in Dante's writings. (http://www.glbtq.com/literature/dante.html)

[Arachu]

Yeah, the deeper part of the Violent is a burning, infertile desert. Here's a pretty interesting article on homosexuality in Dante's writings. (http://www.glbtq.com/literature/dante.html)

Interesting, indeed... I'm not very fond of that stance, but I can respect it in Dante's case for being so anachronistically tolerant.


(... If "a" and "an" both mean 'without', isn't "anachronistic" a double-negative? :smallconfused:)

[Nix Nihila]

(... If "a" and "an" both mean 'without', isn't "anachronistic" a double-negative? :smallconfused:)

No, because it comes from ana- (against) + khronos (time), iirc.

[Kindablue]

(... If "a" and "an" both mean 'without', isn't "anachronistic" a double-negative? :smallconfused:)

A or an prefixed to a word means "without or not" in Greek and the prefix ana means "up or against". So an anachronism isn't "without-time" but "against-time."

ETA
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/extended_mind.png

[Glass Mouse]

Long straight hair on guys is HAWT.

*cough* :smallwink:

[Coidzor]

*cough* :smallwink:

Indeed, hair no more possesses sex or sexuality than one's waste or fingernails.

[Triscuitable]

Indeed, hair no more possesses sex or sexuality than one's waste or fingernails.

Good. I obsessively bite my fingernails in boredom or anxiety.

[Coidzor]

Good. I obsessively bite my fingernails in boredom or anxiety.

That's rather unfortunate, sorry to hear it. Nail polish not help?

[noparlpf]

Yah, John Milton wrote "Paradise Lost" in the 1600s (shortly after the Plague & Great Fire of London if my memory isn't fuzzy - I prefer nicer methods of inspiring my creative efforts :smallwink:).

The Divine Comedy is from the 1300s and I might get a chance to see a very, very early copy of it when I go to the UK mini-meet in 2 weeks time. I really hope so! :smallbiggrin:

@Nope: Yeah, I think that's the case with most people. I admit I only skim-read Purgatorio and Paradiso. The trilogy is good and has wonderful metaphors and what not but it's really hard work to read. Might have another shot at it soon now that I have a Kindle.

EDIT: Interestingly enough, I do remember reading Inferno quite thoroughly and I don't recall any mention of LGBTness being a sin.....food for thought.

Well, I only had a copy of "Inferno" when I read it back in...eleventh grade, I think? And then we read "Inferno" in my English class last year.
I ought to find copies of the other two and read them sometime.


I believe that "sodomy" was in there somewhere (what was the name of the desert bit again...?), though it was used to mean 'depraved sex acts (in general)'. One of his friends was there, but why wasn't mentioned.

Well "sodomy" as derived from the town of Sodom means "gang-raping everybody who comes to town". In the context of "Inferno" it can include things like masturbating, because it's a sexual act not culminating in pregnancy. (So wait, using a condom is sodomy. Sleeping with an infertile man/woman is sodomy. Having sex on one of those rumored "safe days" (Are those a real thing? Kender, you're the resident period expert. Do you know?) is sodomy.)


Yeah, the deeper part of the Violent is a burning, infertile desert. Here's a pretty interesting article on homosexuality in Dante's writings. (http://www.glbtq.com/literature/dante.html)

That's nifty but now I have a spoiler for "Purgatorio". ;-;

[Arachu]

No, because it comes from ana- (against) + khronos (time), iirc.


A or an prefixed to a word means "without or not" in Greek and the prefix ana means "up or against". So an anachronism isn't "without-time" but "against-time."

Well, I learned something today. :smallredface:


ETA
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/extended_mind.png

If I had a nickel for every time... :smalltongue:


Well "sodomy" as derived from the town of Sodom means "gang-raping everybody who comes to town". In the context of "Inferno" it can include things like masturbating, because it's a sexual act not culminating in pregnancy. (So wait, using a condom is sodomy. Sleeping with an infertile man/woman is sodomy. Having sex on one of those rumored "safe days" (Are those a real thing? Kender, you're the resident period expert. Do you know?) is sodomy.)

There's also having sex which incidentally doesn't result in pregnancy.

Masturbation might fall under lust, though. I'd even go as far as to bet it'd only imply Purgatory.


That's nifty but now I have a spoiler for "Purgatorio". ;-;

*Hugs* I have a book with all three poems (and the art of Gustave Dore) - it makes me feel guilty that I can't find the time to read the latter two. -.-

[Glass Mouse]

Indeed, hair no more possesses sex or sexuality than one's waste or fingernails.

True, but humans are weird like that. And I, for one, am totally in favor of long hair.

Now, if only I could convince my boyfriend of this..........

[noparlpf]

There's also having sex which incidentally doesn't result in pregnancy.

Masturbation might fall under lust, though. I'd even go as far as to bet it'd only imply Purgatory.

Well, that's just an accident. Can one be punished for something beyond one's control?


True, but humans are weird like that. And I, for one, am totally in favor of long hair.

Now, if only I could convince my boyfriend of this..........

I like my hair long, but I usually prefer shorter hair on other people. (Short as in chin or shorter, generally. Though long hair does look good on some people.)

[Nix Nihila]

Well, that's just an accident. Can one be punished for something beyond one's control?

That depends. Are you a Calvinist?

Actually, don't answer that. As much as I find this sort of thing interesting, we're getting rather close to forbidden topics.

[Triscuitable]

That's rather unfortunate, sorry to hear it. Nail polish not help?

None of that stuff has ever helped. Braces did, but I found a workaround. I fought myself.

[supernerd]

EDIT: Interestingly enough, I do remember reading Inferno quite thoroughly and I don't recall any mention of LGBTness being a sin.....food for thought.
Well we are a part of sodomy, which started in violence(I believe the 7th layer) and was later reallocated to lust (which I find to be a much more fitting placement that violence against God and nature).

Yeah, the deeper part of the Violent is a burning, infertile desert. Here's a pretty interesting article on homosexuality in Dante's writings. (http://www.glbtq.com/literature/dante.html)

Very educational. I liked it. It is very true, I liked the whole, when it was revised to lust it was addressed that as long as you're not a slut about it, it's really not that bad. See, God loves everyone. And I know that the Catholic church accepted the Inferno, but I'm not sure about the others.

[Coidzor]

None of that stuff has ever helped. Braces did, but I found a workaround. I fought myself.

Huh. Sounds like you might wanna examine treating the anxiety then if it's that bad.

[Triscuitable]

Huh. Sounds like you might wanna examine treating the anxiety then if it's that bad.

As I've said before, I'm looking for someone, and it's not just anxiety. It's boredom and stress. I'm not one for social situations, so a 25+ student school is tolerable. When you up the scale to 1800+ students, it's painful. Physically painful.

[SiuiS]

okie doke, we went back and redid all the quotes we lost! Here goes!


Why hello again, dysmorphia. It's been a while. Oh, and I see you're stronger than I remember. Fantastic. :smallannoyed:

Stupid body.

that's tough, friend. But it gets better, I hear.



Spoilered so I don't fill up the page with whining that nobody needs to suffer through.
Which is interesting to me as I have absolutely no interest in fashion. *I've really been thinking about my gender lately. *I've made friends with some folks on Facebook who are in the process of, or already have transitioned. *What really scares me is lots of pictures really strike me as "guy in drag" not "transwoman." *It immediately turns of me mentally and doesn't fit what I see myself as.

I feel really shallow when this happens, because I know that if I actually can't *look* like a woman, I would never be able to go through with transition. *I mean I get that people have good and bad days. *That's a given but... *sigh*

At first I struggled with what it means to be trans. *Then I struggled with being a "real" woman. *Now I'm struggling with being a "real" transwoman. *No, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm being sincere. *I don't think my mind has wrapped around all of my issues.

Couple this with the fact that I'm a chameleon in society (meaning I change my behaviors (sometimes drastically) depending on the context I'm in and what is accepted) and what it boils down to is the fact that I have no freaking clue where the real me begins and where all the bs ends. *Some days it feels like I'm all bs. *That there *is* no "real" me.

This came up as a relevant discussion elsewhere; I have a friend who is obsessive about the concept of losing who you are beneath the mask you wear. My counterpoint was that as multifaceted as any sentient being is, all you are is a series of masks and personas. I am a changeling; it's who I am. Certain masks are more central, but they are just that, still. Masks.

I do not think I can quite do it justice; I will try to find the relevant bits for you.


I'm curious as to what it was like getting the facial. *I've wanted to do something like get my nails done or get laser hair removal of my facial hair or.. something. *But I always worry about how I'd be received.

Depends. If you mean go in and ask for a manicure, you'll get one, but it will be geared towards a manly look unless you specify. Folks do that all the time.

If you ask for a more specific form of getting your nails done (length, shape, press-on, polish, etc.) my experience is that you should expect a slight delay as they process that yes, you wan to against the social grain, but that's it. Doing nails is what they get paid for after all.

As for hair removal, I suspect it happens all the time.


From the few guys i've seen in skirts.....they can't seem to understand that.

Given a lot of the gals I've seen in recent years, I think it's just the subtle decline of etiquette.


Went shopping today with a friend, I now have more feminine clothes (including a rather nicely flattering pair of bootleg jeans!) tweezers for doing something about my eyebrows, and foundation. I felt bad enough about my body today that I had to do something about it.

Pardon my language, but fan-****ing-tastic!
I am always ecstatic to see the response to a problem being the will to overcome said problem :smallsmile:


Awesome! *Now I'm jealous. *I don't have any clothes yet. **sigh* *Maybe one day. :)


You could always slip some in next time you need a pair of trousers. A good tasteful pair of ladies jeans would probably work pretty well on you, if I recall what a size 7 is. And if anyone does ask, you could always say they're for your wife.


What I'm referring to is meatspace only. *I'm one way at work. *I'm another way entirely at school. *I'm again different at home, and then different when dealing with my wife, my kids, and my roommate.

More incessant whining (yes, I'm getting very sick of my whining at this point, one day I need to stomp my foot and GET OVER MYSELF):
When I was young, my mom took me to a self-help conference. *We learned about "matching and modeling". *This is a technique used to make people you speak to more comfortable by watching how they behave, and mirroring it with your own. *I do this so much now that it's reflexive. *There's no active thought process involved at all. *If the person sitting across from me has their legs crossed and their finger thoughtfully on their chin, I will catch myself doing the same. *If I'm speaking to a large group of people, I subconsciously change my posture to more closely mirror theirs.

This is all superficial stuff, but my desire to fit in has me doing it mentally as well. *I take on the behaviors of those around me. *So much so that sometimes I'll sit back and think, "Wow, do I really think this way? *Because when I'm over in this other place, doing this other thing, I don't believe that at all."

It frightens me because sometimes I don't know what's *me* or not. *Am I really trans*? *Or maybe this is so horribly deranged ploy by my brain has adopted in a subconscious effort to get negative attention. *"Ooo, look at me! *I'm unique. *I'm different. *Come comfort and love me." *UGH!

I think these things and then I put this whole trans* thing out of my head and move forward, right? *And then I wake up a day or two later and feel really... bad about my body. *Facial hair, arm hair, my nasty, half-grown head hair... my deep voice, UGH.

Yes, I know it's time to talk to somebody about this, but I simply have no time. *I work 9-10 hours a day, have school 3 days a week, and have a MOUNTAIN of homework that I'm still behind on, and we're only 6 weeks into the 16 week semester. *Somewhere in there I need downtime to try and relax... but I'm staying up until 2-4AM every morning to do that as it is...



Stars Above, mate. That's pretty no-fun.

The aspecting of yourself just sounds to me like compartmentalization. It's natural, actually, and has come to be viewed in light of a professional tool. Different methods and behaviors are allowed by the self when wearing your work uniform than when not, for example. It is a matter of giving yourself authority in some areas and liberty in others.

That you have so many compartments can detract from a holistic view of the self, and frazzle you, certainly. I find it important to remember that I am no just whichever fancy compartment or cubicle I am acting in at any point in time, I am also the building and the dividing walls. It's all me. Certain aspects of myself are more appropriate in certain spaces (for example, I leave pony stuff out of this thread, and have been asked not to Bring up physical altercations here either, and I leave certain views and stances off the forums/Internet entirely) but that doesn't mean those aspects are fake. Those feelings and thoughts are real; I am just so massive, so complex a being that only a facet can be comprehended at a time. But I'm still all there whether or not I see it.

And I think you are too. Some integration could help with the stress, but so long as you aren't lying about your feelings, then your feelings are real. Their motives can be addressed when needed, but you needn't destroy yourself over them.


http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1061.jpghttp://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a265/Heliomance/Naomi/100_1060.jpg

First picture cropped because my face looked awful. I repeat, no matter how I look IRL, I do not photo well >_<

Ok, lass, I've spent two days trying to think of a response other than 'dayum'. It hasn't really worked.

The difference is amazing. You're right, the subtle shift of body does wonders; so does your attitude.



Keveak: I rather doubt that. *While we all wear various hats, there's generally a bit more substance to us than "has the ability to wear multiple hats and change them quickly"

It's all in the presentation. Your 'nothin but wearing different hats' is my 'complex and unfathomable'.


True, but it's hard to see the optimism when it's a small flag in sea of pessimism. I have no issues with the happily ever after, but if you see your sexuality, your gender, what makes you you, and all you can see is negativity, then why? Why bother looking for the negativity?

People won't like you. People don't like me. People question me, tease me, bully me, and many other horrible things. I get called horrible, horrible names. People can hide who they are, live in fear. I understand why they would do that.

This happens to everyone. Literally, every human being experiences this. It is the common denominator. People as a whole, suck.

I am to fix that.



But what happens when you can't hide who you are? Even if I dyed my hair, my freckles cover my entire body. My skin is far too pale to be considered normal. People think it's funny to call me a ginger, to insult me based on how I appear.

I have to cope with that, but I never look for news on how people are trying to bash gingers. I just deal with it, and I show my pride in my red hair, just as the LGBT community shows their pride with their sexuality, and how they're open about it. I do that, because it's the only thing I can do. You take the insults, or you show that you can deal with them, and send a smile to those who call you "gay", who call you "tranny", who call you "slut" or "freak" or any other horrible slur.

You don't just say, "hey, maybe I'll check my favorite community with all my transgender friends, see what horrible news they've found, like some UK guys are going to parade around looking for anyone who is transgender." You say, "I'm going to look for the amazing advances the LGBT community has made."

Washington became the seventh state to allow same-sex marriage. My aunts can get married now. I read that story, instead of a story about how a kid committed suicide because the intolerant kids at his school bullied him.

You know why these horrible stories are posted? Because people read them, and complain, and further the writer's reason to gather more info on these horrible events. A lot of these writers don't care if the stories are good or bad, they care about publicity. You stop reading them, and they stop writing them. Sure, if you want to know about these things, fine, but keep in mind, all that video you shared earlier did was bring it more attention. If you hadn't, you wouldn't be frustrated, and the video would be just a little less known. Maybe showing it made it go viral. Maybe it didn't have that big of an impact. If everyone sees it, then it's viral. Everyone knows about it. Remember Rick Perry's "Pride" campaign advertisement? People found out about it because in the states it was played in, people were disgusted. The YouTube channel it was posted on became huge, getting subscribers out of hate, rather than funny cat videos. Rick Perry became known because he was intolerant, and made controversial statements to rile up a community who is constantly trying, every day, harder than he ever will.

I think you're looking at it wrong. And here is why;


Is there a special cootie incolation procedure for trans women?

And we're mentioned on Natalie's blog. (freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/02/19/lazy-sunday/)

I can now die a happy man. :smallbiggrin:

All I've really seen from this blog in the last thre threads has been tumult and negativity. This is a thanks for folks here bein so swell. That is immediate pay off.

Folks focus on the negativity, because a good portion o this thread is, even if indirectly, about combating that negativity. It's all right here because most o these folks don't want to find a happy ending, they want to make one. Wonder if Coidzor or Lix will make the joke first...
There is beauty in the world. There is also sorry and terror and hatred. Leaving the world alone and just looking at the pretty stuff is meaningless. Shifting the balance is the entire point!

Every negative story posted prompts a response, and action.
Every positive story prompts 'dawwww~' and that's it.

As a system, things run best with just enough D'awww that no one burns out.



Well "sodomy" as derived from the town of Sodom means "gang-raping everybody who comes to town". In the context of "Inferno" it can include things like masturbating, because it's a sexual act not culminating in pregnancy. (So wait, using a condom is sodomy. Sleeping with an infertile man/woman is sodomy. Having sex on one of those rumored "safe days" (Are those a real thing? Kender, you're the resident period expert. Do you know?) is sodomy.)

Sodomy as a term of derision comes from the title of an essay or list penned by a religious scholar back when years were counted in triple digits. It listed acts that he surmised led to the downfall of Sodom (and theoretically also Gamorrah, which we never hear about). This included bestiality, sex with children, sex with the dead, sex in groups, sex with the elderly, and incest, along with the expected anal sex and *******. It is a point of note that lesbianism was not actually a problem, provided the women still participated in the breeding pool of their day.

Masturbation falls under a different aegis I believe, but unlike Sodomy there is no handy historical explanation, so I fear I can't help there unless someone really needs to know.

[Coidzor]

It's all in the presentation. Your 'nothin but wearing different hats' is my 'complex and unfathomable'.

Indeed, because when you put it that way, you sound more like you're trying to justify something vapid and without depth as "cool" in the typical manner of Hollywood or that you're attempting a defense of the unconsidered life.

[SiuiS]

A man with a hat collection is still more than the sum of the movements needed to change hats.

I also find It odd you corellate 'complex' with 'lacking depth'.

[Kindablue]

Masturbation falls under a different aegis I believe, but unlike Sodomy there is no handy historical explanation, so I fear I can't help there unless someone really needs to know.

It's Genesis 38:8-10 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+38%3A8-10&version=NIV), unless I'm grossly misunderstanding you.

[Triscuitable]

It's Genesis 38:8-10 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+38%3A8-10&version=NIV), unless I'm grossly misunderstanding you.

Oh yay, I remember that. I read the bible when I was 12. You have any idea how awkward it was for my parents to explain that passage to me?

[Coidzor]

Where did the whole discussion of where cultural taboos about sexual practices start? I can't seem to find the start of the thread


A man with a hat collection is still more than the sum of the movements needed to change hats.

I also find It odd you corellate 'complex' with 'lacking depth'.

Because you're talking about the possibility of an entity which actually lacks depth and only has the window dressing if we're still following the same line of thought that started all of this.

Keveak asserted that maybe being shallow and lacking depth and just being nothing more than a collection of masks was actually a good thing and was a valid answer as to someone's "real self."

I replied that I rather doubted that such a person could truly exist, as even the most consummate skin-changer has something underneath it all. If you want to start to try to psychoanalyze me, I suppose I could share that I also find the idea rather demeaning to the human spirit and cold comfort as something said to reassure someone who is re-examining their entire persona and life.

And then you jumped in and here we are.

So it's more that I find your usage of the word complex to be inappropriate.

Can't for the life of me figure out how you think your first point runs counter to my stance when it pretty much just re-encapsulates my initial assertion from the standpoint that having a lot of hats leads to depth rather than going with the original stance that lacking depth is OK because one has a lot of hats to make up for it or my response to the original stance which was that I rather doubted any human being could truly exist without something more than just a bunch of lousy hats to their personality and self.

[KenderWizard]

I'm nowhere near able to ... make brain work good. To make talking about things. So I'm just going to... not much. Major problem with conference: no work got done over the weekend and I've got two deadlines and a practical exam tomorrow morning at 9am. :smalleek:




What's anisotropy? I got... Most of the rest of that. :smalltongue:



Anisotropy means the texture is different depending on which direction you're looking at. We would say it "has a fabric". So there's a fast direction (the direction the components - in this case, mineral grains - have lined up in) and a slow direction (where the wave is trying to go through perpendicular to the preferred direction). Anisotropy is a marker of flow. If you've got fast in the north-south direction and slow in the east-west direction, the rocks are probably flowing from north to south or south to north. This is hot, ductile rock at depth. When the rock is brittle, it breaks instead.

You can also use seismic velocities (and we did) to look at how hot the rocks are. Waves can pass through cold, strong rocks much faster than warm ones.

Also, all of these rocks are solid. It seems to be a common misconception that the mantle is liquid. Only the inner core and pockets of actual magma are liquid, and even then, the magma is very viscous.


*cough* :smallwink:

Oops! In my defence, I was responding to a direct question. Of course I find long, queer hair even better! :smallwink:

[Lady Tialait]

Given a lot of the gals I've seen in recent years, I think it's just the subtle decline of etiquette.

And those gals get smacked upside their head...by me....hard....

I only wear things other then pants when I'm at a formal occasion, and then only begrudgingly.