Silly Plots 4: It's not particularly silly, is it?

[Recaiden]

"Well, this is the five-hundred and seventy-eighth one, I guess. Just a few at a time, usually."
Mei says. She doesn't want to say too much; it might worry June. That would defeat half the point of this.
"As for mountains, more than most people, but I usually am not out climbing them."

Surely nothing terrible could come of this.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

"Hey brah, why are you in such a hurry?" the stag asks as he begins trotting toward Sandy. For a deer he seems unusually congenial. And talky. "Why don't you hang with me and the girls for a bit? There's this wild party we're going to later."

"I like your lizards," one of the does comments.

"Yeah, so fashionable," a second agrees.

See?

What did I tell you, Sandy.

Being covered in lizards is all the rage these days.

Is our hero going to stop and hang out with the deer or wisely get the heck outta here?

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Small talk is hard when you can’t say certain things or…well he isn’t exactly sure what a magic deer would do to him if he accidentally thanked them. Could be anywhere from going to a party with them or giving up his real Name.
”They’re real good lizards.” he says instead. How to turn them down without being rude?
”Sounds great, but I got plans myself to get home for. You don’t know of a way out of the Forest, do you?” he slows down to converse but doesn’t completely stop as he does still want to keep going.

[5a Violista]

It's fine. Even with a gentle breeze, it'll be at least two or three hours before any sort of visible negative effects manifest. By then, surely they'll have a water break.

"Wow, that's a lot," June says. Most the point of this has got to be showing off, of course. Why else would you take someone on a trip through space, if not to show off?
"What part of the terraforming do you normally do, then?" If not testing out the mountains.

[Rebonack]

Sunny Orchard

Real good lizards.

Mighty fine.

"Oh yeah! I totally know the way out," one of the does says, her ears perking up. She takes a few steps closer, seeming to appraise Sandy. "But what are you giving me for telling you, handsome?"

Uh...

Is...

Is that deer hitting on him?

Is Sandy being hit on by a deer?

What a weird day.

The buck seems offended by this. "Bro, you better not be thinkin' about mackin' on my girl."

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy shakes his head.
”I would never mack on a bro’s girl. That’s against the bro rules. But I can offer this.” He holds up the bucket he’s been carrying this whole time.
”This is from a fancy glowing well. The water is cleaner and tastier than any of the stream water you’re going to find out here. And everyone knows you have to drink water before you go for the hard stuff or you’ll get a worse hangover. You’re going to a party, right?”
Well that’s how it works for humans. He doesn’t think faeries actually have to bother hydrating. But he doesn’t have much else to offer.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

The doe eyes the bucket suspiciously.

Then takes a few steps closer.

Then the faun kind of...

Climbs half way out of the deer.

She's supernaturally beautiful, of course. Though in a wild, untamed sort of way. She has two little goat horns poking out of her hair and there's something about her that's vaguely deer-like, but it's difficult to place one's finger on. At the moment she's reminiscent of a deer centaur, but the head of the deer is still attached and stooped forward with the sprite leaning on the back of it with her elbows.

Sandy might be reminded of the sorts of things dryads do. Living in trees. Climbing out of trees in weird ways.

The faun is doing the same thing, except with an animal.

"It looks like a regular bucket to me," she says skeptically.

[Recaiden]

Well, it could be that you took someone on a trip through space on a whim and didn't think it through at all.
That would also shoe a date something about you, I suppose.
"Oh, you know, high level designs, and making sure there's the right amount of water and all."
Mei points out a spot that she thinks would have a good view back down the mountain, towards the sea. They could take a break there!

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy tries to keep his salesmen attitude up.
”Well yeah, the bucket is totally normal. I’m talking about the water. Well was positively shining when I got there. If you look it still sparkles a little, see?” he wiggles it around.
”And this one doesn’t have any giggling sprites in it either.”
He wonders if it’s hard to get water from a faerie’s stream or spring. Do they get territorial about it?

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

That probably depends on the sprite in question and how much competition there is over bodies of water in the area. Some of them can get pretty nasty while others are mostly chill.

Like these animal spirits!

They seem mostly chill.

If they weren't then this encounter likely would have been far less pleasant.

"Uh... Did you, like, get this water from Queen Peach's place?" the woman sticking out of a deer asks.

Does she sound worried?

No.

Not worried. Probably amused at the idea that it may be the case.

[5a Violista]

The first physical sign of dehydration, after a couple hours, is that June's fingers start to feel a little stiffer and more brittle and slightly crack and when moving them from the position they've been in. Toes, too, but June's wearing shoes.

"Wow, that actually sounds like a really important job," June says. Water is a pretty crucial part of life, after all. "What sort of training did you have to do to be good at that?"
It sounds pretty difficult, too, and that you'd need a lot of training. Which it sounds like Mei already has a lot of practice by now, having done a lot of planets.

June looks at the 'good view' point, and nods. Yeah, looks good.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy blinks. They have a Queen?
”I got it from the place where I got pulled into the Forest. There were peaches sure, but there’s peaches lots of places. No one was around; I didn’t see any queens.”
He knows you can’t necessarily tell someone’s job from looking at them but Drake was the only person around so he doesn’t think there was a queen there.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

"Oh. My. GOD. Really?" the faun gasps. "How could you just, like, show up in the Queen's place and not notice her?"
"Yeah. That's, like, totally rude," the second agrees.

"Hey how long would you say you were walking after you got pulled in?" Drake whispers into Sandy's ear. "What day was it?"

This sounds concerning.

Or at the very least Drake sounds concerned.

"Have you got anything in your pockets that wasn't there before?" the pixies inquire.

Should Sandy check his pocket?

He'll find a single peach pit.

It's made of solid gold.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy is fairly sure it isn’t actually rude but is a bit concerned at the possibility the Queen would agree because you don’t mess with any manner of Queen.
”I don’t know, maybe ten minutes? It was Wednesday.”
He pulls the peach pit out of his pocket.
What?”
Maybe she’s more of a nice Queen if she’s giving out sneaky gifts…

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

"Because when I hopped into the Enchanted Forest it was Saturday," Drake points out.

Did...

Did Sandy lose some time?

Did he, in fact, meet Queen Peach?

Did she give him that golden pit?

What's he supposed to do with it?

Why does this have to be so confusing?

"Oh yeah that definitely looks like a boon," Drake observes.

"That's some nice bling, brah," the stag says. "You wanna trade that brah? I think we can work something out."

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy blinks. ”Wow if I met her something must have eaten the memory. Wish I could remember that.”
He looks between the deer and Drake.
”Wait if I have a boon from the Queen could I just use it to ask her to send me home?”

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

"C'mon, brah, if that's how it worked wouldn't you have done that already?" the stag retorts. His tone suggests that he's talking to someone who's a bit slow.

What a rude deer.

"I'll take the gold and lead you home," the faun-still-sticking-out-of-the-doe says, leaning over onto Sandy's shoulder and smiling sweetly at him.
"No, I saw him first!" the other doe says, stomping a hoof. The faun hasn't made herself apparent yet, but surely there's another sprite hanging out in that animal, too.

This does raise an important question, though.

What are normal deer doing in the Dreamlands?

Though, frankly, there are trees and other things here, too.

Maybe they're just props for looking foresty?

"If Queen Peach gave you a trinket and took the memory away it's probably something important," Sandy's fashionable collection of lizards advises. "I wouldn't give it to them if I were you."

It's too bad Sandy doesn't remember what he's supposed to do with the peach pit.

Maybe plant it somewhere?

Crack it open and pass it off as a really toxic almond?

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy shakes his head.
”Its okay. I think I’ll make it out on my own.”
He does want the help but this is a ROYAL BOON. He isn’t going to use it on some questionably helpful deer.
It appears he is trying to extricate himself from this group. Will they let him go?

[Recaiden]

"Well, most of my training has been on-the-job. You know, look at this planet, figure out why it works."
"Which, you know, not all 577 before this worked out so well. But there's always something that can be done with a planet."

Mei looks down the mountainside at where they've gone. Oh, but it seems June is in a hurry to move on, and hike further up.

"You know much about geomancy?" Since they seemed to have expectations for how the air would be moving. Maybe June knows more about this topic than most people would - that would be exciting.

[Murkus]

[The Enchanted Forest]

Sarget straightens after his burst of violence. Cassie clutches her dad's neck and sobs uncontrollably. It's over... as over as it can be. "Take her home. Away from this place as quickly as you can." The treant urges. He'll need to take his own route back home, but he doesn't fear for himself in this place.

[The Enchanted Forest]

Ah. So this is how it was. Had he ever really left the road?

"You don't gotta tell me," Adir says to Sarget, reaching behind his back and extracting Cassie from his backpack so he can take her in his arms. He hugs the quaking kid to his chest, her head tucked under his chin.

"Melissa?" He looks around to see if she's still with them. Hopefully she didn't disappear with the rest of the world. "Come on. We gotta go..."

[Rebonack]

[The Enchanted Forest => Frescot Residence]

When in doubt it's probably best not to question the Dreamlands.

Or question literally everything, maybe.

There's significant overlap between what should and should not be questioned.

"Yeah I'm coming, too," Melissa says. Just a little girl in a frilly black and white dress with a forked tail and cat ears. Definitely nothing to see here, folks. "Those dumb ugly goblins grabbed me from my school I've gotta get home my parents are going to be worried. Do you guys live Inside? Do you know where the closest train station is?"

Probably even her dumb fat brother is worried about her.

But she made it out... mostly okay. Right?

Heading back up the stairs Adir will find himself stepping out from under Cassie's bed, the first rays of dawn beginning to filter into the still, empty house.

That's...

That's it then, right? The nightmare is over and everything is fine?

What about the changeling?


[Sunny Orchard]

Sandy beats a hasty retreat!

The does make some disappointed noises but none of them follow our hero.

Thankfully.

Not too long afterward they'll arrive at a small clearing in the trees with a large, flat stone in the middle. One can actually see the sky here, an insufferably warm summer haze. The rock is quite hot to the touch, but that's probably just because it has been subjected to eternal summer for who knows how long.

Several Drakes land on the rock and begin basking because of course they do.

"Hey, so, it sounds like you lost some time," the Pixies point out.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy nods and sits down on the rock- then stands back up because wow that’s hot.
”Yeah it sounds like I missed maybe four days? I don’t think it’s much of a problem unless something really important happened I can’t remember and people are going to be freaking out.”
If he’s actually been munching on faerie fruit for four days it might be more of a problem but he isn’t actually sure about that.

[5a Violista]

[Blind Date]

"Well, that is a lot of planets to get enough experience from," June concedes. After that many planets, anybody would be a pro.

June keeps on hiking up.

"Geomancy...that's a kind of divination, right?" The -mancy suffix gives it away. After a shake of the head, June says, "No, not really. Just know, like...normal prediction and stuff. Like, you know, physics and geology and stuff."



[Seally Plot]

Zophiel had been putting it off, hoping there was something that could wait until after he managed to fix his wings (and his hands but they just look more slender than they should), but unfortunately it seems like those two things just aren't going away. He has two pairs of wings - ever since diving into hell to rescue Sekhmet, anything he tried to make them go away was just temporary.

As usual, he has his swords and is also accompanied by the forest shark Caramel.

"So we've got all the precautions in place?" the paladin asks, for, like, the dozenth time. "The plan is all...planned?"
It's understandable, though, why he's asking so many times. After all, if this goes badly then, worst-case-scenario, he stops existing. But the best-case scenario is that they find out a way for him to continue existing, so that's what makes this worth it.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

There's an easy way to fix that problem, Sandy.

Just pour some water onto the rock first and THEN sit on it.

Gotta use your superior human brain meats to solve problems.

"So what do we KNOW? You go through the well and end up in Queen Peach's glade. You're there for four days, but you don't remember what you did. Then you set off into the forest with a gold peach pit in your pocket and run into me," Drake reasons. "Does that sound about right?"

Sure does!

Sandy has only one clue.

The peach pit.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

”Yeah, I guess. But what would Peach want with me? Or my memories? I honestly can’t imagine how I could possibly have made her owe me a favor. Unless she just gives those out. What’s she like?”
Is she the type to just give out boons? Maybe he made her laugh?
Unless of course she gave him a boon because there was a bet or something. Like he bet he would kiss the first pretty lady he saw and since he didn’t he’s going to turn into a sprite any second now or Peach is going to show up to put him to work in her orchard forever?
He doesn’t think this is the case but he doesn’t have much to go on.
”What should I do with this thing?” he asks, holding up the pit.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

"Well I haven't met her myself," Drake admits. "I spend most of my time out in the Waking World. The only time I come here is to use the Dreamlands as a shortcut or to get after rare, unusual flowers for my honey. That's what I was doing today."

Though it might not be today anymore.

Time is weird in the Dreamlands, as Sandy has already noticed.

"But there are these four gaiad sisters, right? One for each season. The whole Enchanted Forest is their weald. We're in the summertime part of the forest right now, where Peach reigns. She's pretty serious, I guess? Think in terms of what agrarian societies do in the summer. Harvest the cereal crops. She likes hard word and getting things done. You were doing farm work in the summer, right? Maybe that caught her attention, somehow? What were you doing?"

Tell the lizards what you were up to, Sandy.

And then a question!

"I have no idea. What does it feel like you're supposed to do with it? These are the Dreamlands. Weird stuff happens. It doesn't have to make sense."

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

What people do in the summer? Well, yeah. Take care of the crops, harvest the ones that are summer crops specifically. In some cases it’s a particular season for some animals but he doesn’t know if Peach covers that.
Sandy looks at the pit.
”I was fetching water for the peach trees.”
Oh no, would Peach have been mad at him for not wanting to be doing that work? He was doing it anyway and that’s what’s important, right?
”I feel like…I should plant it? Here might be a good spot, actually. There’s lots of light and the sky is visible for rain to reach it. And I have water for it right now.”

Planting a peach tree where there isn’t any others would certainly not be the oddest errand to run for a Forest spirit kind of faerie…

[Recaiden]

[Blind Date]

"Well, that is a lot of planets to get enough experience from," June concedes. After that many planets, anybody would be a pro.

June keeps on hiking up.

"Geomancy...that's a kind of divination, right?" The -mancy suffix gives it away. After a shake of the head, June says, "No, not really. Just know, like...normal prediction and stuff. Like, you know, physics and geology and stuff."

"Yeah. You can know some of the future of the planet by looking at the rocks."

Mei has to hurry to catch up with June.

"Obviously physics and geology play into it too."

[Seally Plot]

Zophiel had been putting it off, hoping there was something that could wait until after he managed to fix his wings (and his hands but they just look more slender than they should), but unfortunately it seems like those two things just aren't going away. He has two pairs of wings - ever since diving into hell to rescue Sekhmet, anything he tried to make them go away was just temporary.

As usual, he has his swords and is also accompanied by the forest shark Caramel.

"So we've got all the precautions in place?" the paladin asks, for, like, the dozenth time. "The plan is all...planned?"
It's understandable, though, why he's asking so many times. After all, if this goes badly then, worst-case-scenario, he stops existing. But the best-case scenario is that they find out a way for him to continue existing, so that's what makes this worth it.

"Yes."
Cleo starts going over the various safety devices and fallbacks yet again.
"The map there will warn us if you're in danger of not being you at any point." It's probably hard to see the map from where he's placed in the ritual room, half-buried in solid stone, but Zophiel would have been able to check it on the way in.
"Alexis is waiting outside in case you're injured, and the rewinder-spell is working in case anything otherwise unrecoverable happens to your body." She indicates a set of speakers that are emitting a frankly horrible warbling sound.
"The scan is finished." Anchor adds, pulling away the heavy mechanical helmet and flipping some switches down. "So, I mean, your memories and personality should be safe and sound."
"If everything goes wrong, the archive is kept in a maximum wasp area-" she points to the heavy cable that her amulet is plugged into. "-and we have this." she lifts up the god-sealing-sword from its plinth. "So we'll be fine too."
"And all the seals and wards we went over."

"You simply need to undo the mental seal, and head towards me when you feel a call. Ready?"

[5a Violista]

[Blind Date]

Oh no!
June has been going too fast.

Realizing the mistake, June slows down and makes a conscious effort to stick back with Mei, and double-checking that they're holding hands. And if not, grabbing it again.

"I...well, I mean, I haven't really been trained in it," June says. "Physics and geology and meteorology and stuff, I know that. But when it comes to a whole planet, I feel like there's just too much information that I wouldn't be able to more than small-scale predictions."


[Seally Plot]

Zophiel nods, listens, and tries to convince himself that with all these things in place there's nothing to worry about.
Still, since the last time everything went wrong, he's been taking extra care to make sure the mental seal doesn't break. "Okay," he says.

"Okay." It's still pretty frightening, regardless. "Okay." He glances over at his swords and at Caramel, which are over there.

He exhales.
"I'm ready."
He relaxes and unfocuses.
There's the mental sound of something breaking.

Okay, it's done. Ready.

[Recaiden]

[Blind Date]

They weren't holding hands. Luckily June has now corrected that oversight, which puts a smile on Mei's face and should keep anyone from falling behind.

"Okay, sure, I didn't expect that you had been. But I bet, if you made enough small-scale predictions, before you knew it you'd have a feel for medium-scale predictions, and then...eventually, a whole planet." Mei tries to explain. Just takes practice. Way too much practice to be, uh, practical, most of the time.

"I really didn't come here because I knew it though, I came here because it was a good mountain!" And really, how can you know it's a good mountain if you haven't been there?

[Seally Plot]

"Don't worry. We've done this sort of thing before."
"I mean, and it worked." Anchor hastily adds.

At that mental sound, they begin the next big step.

Cleo sweeps her staff up into her hand, and the silver bells at the end start ringing, jingling merrily, and she opens her mouth to put voice to the sing-song patterns of the spell.
Her voice is cold, and it hurts to hear it, and the bright chiming of the bells becomes a deep and distant funeral toll. There's something very final about the sound, and it might be frightening even beyond how frightened Zophiel was before - ceasing to exist is close at hand. But the sound is unmistakably calling to Zophiel. This way.

If he follows that call (as the magic is increasingly pushing him to do) if he does that, and also if he has something you might call a soul, something that makes him himself, well, that soul will be taken away, placed in the bright green jewel at the center of the contraption that the wizard has set up, and be moved somewhere safe(?). If he doesn't have anything like that, if there is nothing more to this paladin than the intersection of these four decaying seals and his history, well, then that fact will be made obvious.