Halp With Dorfs (Kobold Run stay out)

[Serpentine]

Kobolds, out =.=

So yeah. Need help with Dwarves.

Background: A kobold tribe has been almost completely wiped out by adventurers, and the remnants need to find a new place to set up shop. They have come up with a fairly convoluted plan to get the nearby dragon to take them in as minions. To avoid getting eaten on sight - while enjoying a spot of vengeance on mammalian humanoidkind - they intend to destroy a dwarven mine and steal all their "shinies". They're on their way now (just as soon as they finish off the Avalanchers who ambushed them).

I don't know how to make the dwarves =/

What I do know is thusly: The mine is quite large and old, with plenty of tunnels woven through the mountain. There are several human labourers - they'll probably just be Commoners or maybe Warriors, or at least very low levels. Fodder, basically. Hired miners. The main threat with these guys is that someone will get away and warn the Dwarves
Deep in the bowels of the mine is a tribe of Derro, who have been enslaved by the Dwarves. The aforementioned humans don't know about them, although some may suspect, but only one or two would care. If the kobolds take their time, they may overhear a conversation about the "knockers" down below. If given a chance - and convinced through their insanity - they will gladly help destroy the Dwarves, although they will then want to take over the mine themselves (rather than letting the kobolds move in).

The Dwarves themselves have names: Ted "Stinky" Trundlebut, Frank "Boozy" Trundlebut, Henry "Runny" Trundlebut III, Sam "Poshy" Trundlebut-Snoggleson Jr. IV, Jane "Greenie" Bandlewiggle nee Trundlebut, John "Bludgy" Bandlewiggle, Sally "Forth" Trundlebut, and the eldest, Mary "Naggy" Trundlebut VIII.
I want them to be impossible to take on all at once, and preferably very difficult to beat in a fair fight. For reference, the party is a group of 7 or 8 (an 8th is thinking of joining) level 8 Kobolds, I think reasonably low optimisation overall although almost all have a mount of some sort.
I want them to be parodies of dwarfiness, either through exaggeration (e.g. the dwarfiest dwarves who ever did dwarf) or subversion (e.g. a sexy, svelt, dainty lady-dwarf), or a mix.

Any ideas? On class, personality, equipment or anything?

[Zaq]

Are those names drawn from the sources I think they are? The last two kind of tipped me off. If so, I heartily approve. If not, well, they're still fun.

You have enough dorfs here to make a mix of whatever dorfy stereotypes you like, so I think that you should take advantage of that (if you think that they'll have enough screentime to even display more than one or two traits).

Do you want them to all have the same class (or at least related classes)? Or do you want them to be basically an adventuring party unto themselves?

Hmmm. I could see each one being focused on a different ToB discipline. That might be funny. The odd discipline out? Stone Dragon, the dwarfiest discipline of all, just because.

[Willfor]

Randomised personalities a la Dwarf Fortress might be something to look into. They can get fairly detailed, and multifaceted. It will even give you a good idea of what they like and dislike, and their general physiology compared to other dwarves.

Or you can get someone who can stand the interface of the game to generate a few dwarves, and give you the readout of their personalities.

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Now with example!

[Serpentine]

Are those names drawn from the sources I think they are? The last two kind of tipped me off. If so, I heartily approve. If not, well, they're still fun.

Wait, what? Not that I know of, although I knicked the "[Dwarf Name] Juniour the Fourth" idea from someone else.

You have enough dorfs here to make a mix of whatever dorfy stereotypes you like, so I think that you should take advantage of that (if you think that they'll have enough screentime to even display more than one or two traits).

Tru dat.

Do you want them to all have the same class (or at least related classes)?

Not necessarily. The two ideas I did have were one as a Dwarven Defender and another as a Drunken Master.

Or do you want them to be basically an adventuring party unto themselves?

Not... particularly.

Hmmm. I could see each one being focused on a different ToB discipline. That might be funny. The odd discipline out? Stone Dragon, the dwarfiest discipline of all, just because.

Heh, maybe. But, although I'm not adverse to Tome of Battle stuff - in fact, I quite like it - I have yet to get the hang of its mechanics. I'll give it a shot, but it has a point against it, ideas-wise.

[Raging Gene Ray]

One of them has to be a Bard. For mechanics purposes, the Inspire Courage becomes more useful with each fighter-type making use of those bonuses to hit and damage.

And with the humor...it's a bard...have him move around the battlefield on a steam-powered mobile piano. Give it trample. Maybe have it bite and nip at the kobolds (Animate Objects spell, permanencied?) - Maybe go for the anti-Dwarf and give him a magical, flashy Elton John/Liberace outfit that dazzles or even blinds everything around him when he activates it by standing up on the piano-stool and posing.

Or his instrument-mount could be an animated drum kit. Complete Adventurer says that playing a Masterwork Drum boosts the Attack and Damage bonuses of Inspire Courage by an extra +1, and drums are much more Dwarvey, what with the echoes and the beating things.

EDIT: And if you want, have the echo of his music collapse parts of the mine.

Which brings up another concept, one of the Dwarves could be a warrior-miner who is skilled enough to selectively collapse parts of the mine, trapping or crushing the PCs, but leaving the Dwarves' allies unaffected.

[PopcornMage]

Might I suggest blending the Smurfs with some Comedies/Dramas for the Jerk-ass aspects.

White-Bearded type, possibly a wizard. Should be the leader. May or may not be hen-pecked, or just arrogantly incompetent. (Papa Smurf with your choice of somebody like Fred Sanford, Archie Bunker or other evil Patriarch)

Horribly shrewish woman. Bearded if you like. (Think Roseanne! Or Tony Soprano's Mom.)

Horribly flirtatious woman...the kind that thinks she's beautiful but ain't, still you'd better show you appreciate her. (Smurfette with a touch of Lena Hyena from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.)

Machine-crazy engineer. He may be part Gnome. Shame shame! (Handy Smurf at his worst.)

Big strong Blacksmith type. (Hefty Smurf who doesn't know his own strength or...Hefty Smurf who knows his own strength and likes to use it.)

Lazy good for nothing type who may be subverted. (Lazy Smurf.)

Really bad musician of some kind. Obviously they should insist on making everybody listen to it. (Harmony Smurf, or Poetry Smurf.)

Some sort of Doctor-type. You could have the incompetent, or the really creepy, or just the insane.

You could find a way to work in Jokey-smurf with his explosions, or Brainy Smurf with his ideas, or Clumsy Smurf with his incompetence combined with an awesome luck factor. Just turn them far more evil.

Mechanics I defer on because I don't know your game.

[Serpentine]

Or his instrument-mount could be an animated drum kit. Complete Adventurer says that playing a Masterwork Drum boosts the Attack and Damage bonuses of Inspire Courage by an extra +1, and drums are much more Dwarvey, what with the echoes and the beating things.

I'd have to give him, or another Dwarf, Perform (comedy) if I did that

White-Bearded type, possibly a wizard. Should be the leader. May or may not be hen-pecked, or just arrogantly incompetent. (Papa Smurf with your choice of somebody like Fred Sanford, Archie Bunker or other evil Patriarch)

Extra-interesting, as the leader's female.

Machine-crazy engineer. He may be part Gnome. Shame shame! (Handy Smurf at his worst.)

Maybe the in-law should be a closet gnome...

Some really great ideas so far, guys. Thanks, and keep 'em coming

[PopcornMage]

Extra-interesting, as the leader's female.

Well, sometimes there's the leader, and there's the guy who thinks he is in charge. It can work. Or perhaps a Ma Beagle from the Scrooge Mcduck stories or a Ma Parker from Batman.

Maybe the in-law should be a closet gnome...

Need a groaning emoticon...

[Beelzebub1111]

If you only have 8 dwarves, you should have some of them be minion raisers. Remember, these are NPCs and are not bound by Leadership scores or restricted by in class granted companions.

Some examples:
A druid who raises killer fungus to protect the mines. And for food and booze.
A Rogue that rears beasts from the depths of the mountains for protection and food.
A Priest of [insert dwarfiest god in the setting] with a congregation with a militiantly suicidal congregation.

Don't be afraid to make up some minions either. For example: A wolf isn't exactly scary because, lets face it, everyone knows what a wolf is. But give it 8 legs and a climb speed and you've got a scary beast fit for running from by only adding a movement mode. Give it webbing and/or camouflage if you want to go for overkill.

[Serpentine]

Those're good ideas. Thanks, Beelzebub.

[DrWeird]

The last time I DM'd a game (two years ago?) the party was sent by a local lord to investigate the usually amiable Eaglehammer Clan in the nearby Spidercrown Mountain (I'll give you one chance to guess what lived on the mountain. Yep, you guessed it. Rocs and Stone Yetis.)

At this point, my party had only heard of dwarves. All were either humans, elves, or halflings (and one accidental bugbear) and had never even seen a mountainhome, and also seemed to love was when I would pull out something they had never done or seen, and I was happy to oblige.

They also had never seen the Stronghold Builder's Guide...but I had.

GUIDE TO DWARVEN MINES:

Stone golems.
Dwarven defenders four deep in 10-ft wide tunnels.
Sigil traps.
Ballistas.
Minecarts full of fire and explosives.
Controlled cave-ins.
Blunderbusses.
More Ballistas.

Put a ballista with flaming bolts at the ends of all the long, thin corridors. And explosives. And Stone Golems. Show your party that you really care.

[Beelzebub1111]

Those're good ideas. Thanks, Beelzebub.

Not a problem, If I can think of any more I'll post them...